Burn Out Cagney and Lacey

Look, Sonia Maltese, the punko queen. Pull over! Are you sure? Yes.

I'm pulling, right. Police! Stop! Stop, dammit!

You got the wrong person. This is terrible... Get over there!

She's not Public Enemy Number One. Tell the people she rips off.

I want your badge number. I know important people. Call them(!)

You can't take me in! Watch me. A curse on you and your children!

May your first-born be ashamed of his family name!

I am so sorry to keep you on hold, it's kinda frantic round here.

Can you discuss this on the phone and I'll talk to Harvey Jnr? Trouble with Harv Jnr?

Sonia's fast(!) We're late...

I've been doing this for 20 years! Never a day in jail.

What kind of precinct is this?!

I can't get down to school. I have a witness to interview.

We won't be there. Now you tell me you won't accept plastic!

I understand it's important.

I want to call my lawyer. Come on... Manny, you, too!

I'll go myself. Wait, Christine... Mrs Montana, may I call you back?

It would be easier to do it myself. Wait! ..Yes, I'm still here.

Can you believe they call bookmaking a crime? It's a social service.

What would guys do on the weekend? Drink, beat up their wives... Would you shut up over there!

No...I am sorry. We all of us have policies.

No, I am not asking you to bend the rules.

Tomorrow afternoon is... No, it's Friday. I'm going on vacation.

I know my son is more important. I will be there this afternoon.

As soon as I can. Goodbye.

Mary Beth, from Samuels. Great(!) Where is Christine?

She left. Dammit! Damn, I told her to wait!

Don't get mad at me. I just work here.

..Marcus, I'm sorry. I'm crazy...I'm crazy today.

I need a week away from this place.

Tomorrow night, huh? 26 hours and 13 minutes, but who's counting?

Hey, you! Come here.

Lend me bail an' I'll give you a tip.

Harvey, turn it down. Where's Mom? She probably got held up at the pizza place.

There's carrots... Here she is. Mom, I need to tell you something.

Don't hang on me, Michael. Where's the pizza? Pizza? You forgot?!

Mom... Not now, Michael. Would you turn that thing off? How could you forget? Turn it off!

I got a call from Mrs Montana... She ain't good.

I would tread softly if I were you. What's the problem?

He's been slugging it out with some friend. It wasn't my friend.

Don't point that finger at me! You did the one thing you knew would get me. Congratulations(!)

You embarrassed me and your teacher made me feel like an unfit mother!

He didn't mean to make you feel bad. He was breaking into my locker!

It was a felony, right? Harvey, she'll need to think about that.

Let's get something to eat first. Mike, get your jacket on. Harv...

Sorry about the pizza. Forget it! How about Chinese? Chinese stinks!

How about fried chicken? I hate fried chicken. I want a hamburger. I should have got pizza!

There. Hmmmm. Old magic fingers, eh?

I told you I'd get you relaxed.

Mind telling me what's got you so wound up lately?

I don't know. I mean, I can't even talk to my own kid any more.

You're good with him. I haven't got the knack. You're doing just fine.

Come on, relax. I forgot how.

Come on...

Attagirl.

Michael... What now? He wanted to tell me something. It can wait.

I yelled at him... He's not gonna turn into an axe murderer cos you yelled at him. Right...right.

We're going on vacation tomorrow. Yeah. I need that vacation so bad I can't think about anything else.

When we get back I'm gonna be a different person. I'm gonna be relaxed and loving and sexy.

We have to wait till then? Yeah, OK?

OK? Sure.

No, OK... OK, baby.

Sure.

18 hours and 10 minutes.

I'm sorry I'm late. Michael needed a cake for school.

Lucky I had a cake mix, huh? Yeah, lucky.

Been waiting long? Ten nails. Time for them to dry

I'm sorry. Look, I know we're in a hurry... Hmm. But we have to stop.

Mary Beth, why? Chris, I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.

Harv forgot his blueprints. He can't start until I drop them off.

Where is he? The village. The village! No, we can't do it. We'll be late for court.

Look, when was Judge Carson ever on time? I don't remember. OK.

We'll be there long before him.

Will you trust me? We'll be on our third coffee before he shows up.

You're in contempt of court, which carries a $50 fine...each. See the clerk of court.

Your... You were late. There's nothing more to say.

Cops!

Wonderful(!) I've disappointed everybody in my life.

Wait... What for? Stay there. Why? I'm writing you a cheque. Forget it.

Chris, it was my fault. I haven't figured out yet how to be in four places at once.

I don't want your money. It would make me feel better. Mary Beth, all you need is a vacation.

We'll get through this one day, then you get a whole week off.

You're probably looking forward to my vacation as much as I am. More!

Eight hours... Come on, it's all right. I'll get that.

Another cheque for you. Eight hours. Can we do that?

It's 6 hours and 26 minutes. Who's counting? Don't cash that just now.

Cagney, Lacey! Sir, if it's about our testimony, it was my fault...

Our illustrious Deputy Inspector wants two nuns at St Joseph's to break up the drugs operation.

Sister Cagney, Sister Lacey. I'm starting my vacation. Why two?

Marquette's been bursting my chops, now I'm gonna get a hard time from you?

Can't someone else do it?

Do you see anybody else who could pass for a nun? Why can't one of the guys be an undercover patient?

Because! Sir, I need this time off. She does. I can do this by myself. There's nothing I can do.

Marquette is on the Board of Governors. We've gotta do it his way.

Put off your vacation a week or two. I'll get you an extra day. Sorry. About the other nurses...

As far as they're concerned, you've been transferred from St Cyril's. Do we get to wear habits? Yeah.

When I was a kid I wanted to be a nun. Well, now you got a chance. You'll be working night shift...

VOICES ECHO IN HER HEAD

Controlled substances - morphine, demarol, phercodan, seconel. $100,000 street value.

Where's access? The charge nurses. They have the keys. Where's Lacey?

Forget it!

Mary Beth?

You guys seen Lacey? No, I thought she was with you.

Cagney! Lacey! Coming!

No, she's probably steamed up and wants to walk it off.

Yeah, I'll have her call you. Harvey, I'm sorry about your vacation. Yeah...bye.

Is she coming? She wasn't home. He hasn't heard from her.

She's gonna hear from me. Right, I need somebody else to go with you.

Do you think anything's happened? She's just miffed over her vacation!

Yeah, right. Isbecki, I want you to go with Cagney. Isbecki?!

You want me to be a nun? That's sacrilege!

OK, what's his cover? How about a doctor?

Orderly! Orderly! Right, everybody, I want you to report back here tonight.

Orderly! Have Mary Beth call Harvey. OK.

Cagney, nail polish. Oh, yeah... Too much, d'you think?

Come on, Isbecki. Orderly!

You new? Yeah. They pay better here than at Lang.

They get their orderlies from a chain gang.

You going to X-ray? I'll take him. OK, thanks.

That's 5mg morphine, right? There you are.

Sister? Yes.

I didn't realise you needed help. What can I do?

You left this on the counter. It wouldn't do for me to lose that.

Especially with drugs being stolen. That isn't the key to the drugs.

No, no, THESE are the keys to the controlled substances. That's the key to my motor scooter.

Thank you, sister.

PHONE RINGS

Hello? Harvey, it's Chris.

Hiya, Chris. I was hoping it was Mary Beth.

Haven't you heard from her? No. Where is she?

Well, you know, Mary Beth, she goes to movies to sort things out.

Maybe she found a good double feature. How are the boys? They're asleep.

I didn't say anything to them yet. I just said she was working late. I've been living by the phone.

Harvey... SCREAMS

Listen, Harvey, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later. It'll be OK.

Ah-h-h-h.

You're a hard man, Wally, but I never welch on a bet.

There...$47.50. You're a gambling man. Ah, a new one. Very pretty.

Can I help you, sister? I heard screaming and wondered what it was.

Mild cardiac arrest. Mine.

Brought on by the Boston Celtics scoring 14 points. Rest now, Wally.

And don't spend all your winnings. Any time you want to bet on those bums.

He's a sweet old guy. Cheers him up to bet on the games. Of course.

It's good of you to take the time. It's the total healing concept. And it improves my recovery percentage.

I haven't seen you around. I'm Sister Lorett. They transferred me from St Cyril's.

PAGER BLEEPS Wally was right. You are pretty.

I beg your pardon? I'll see you around, sister.

Where is she? She's not back yet? What are you doing to find her?

I thought she'd be back by now. I'll put a man on it. One man? Don't you owe her more than that?

Let me take care of this. Want a drink? I want my wife.

What did you do to her? Me? Yeah, you!

You couldn't let up on her. You pushed and you pushed her!

I didn't push her any harder than anyone else. I don't pamper her just cos she's a woman.

She's got a life outside of here. I understand that. No, you don't!

She's got a life outside of here. I understand that. No, you don't!

You let your marriage go down the toilet. Hey, that's a cheap shot.

I'm not gonna let you do that to me and Mary Beth. Me?

You wanna know where I think your wife is? I think she went off to get away from YOU.

Every time I step out of here she's on the phone to you about the damn laundry! Me? Yeah, YOU!

I'm the one who cooks meals so she can do overtime! I'm the one... You sound like my ex-wife!

Do you understand the first thing about being a cop? PHONE BUZZES

Yeah, what? (It's Cagney!)

Yeah?

When? Well, what the HELL were you two doing?!

All right, all right. Well, I want you both to check in tomorrow.

A batch of drugs disappeared tonight. That's a case your wife should be working on! I'm sorry...

I just feel so damn helpless. I wanted somebody to tell me everything was gonna be OK.

All right, Lacey, I'll get somebody looking. Are you sure you don't want that drink?

Maybe next time.

DIALS NUMBER Stephens? Get your butt in here. I got a job for you.

PHONE RINGS

Hello? Harv, I want you to know I'm all right. Mary Beth...

Don't say anything. If you say one word, I'll hang up.

I...I'm sorry I worried you. That's not fair.

Listen, I don't know where I am exactly. I was coming home, I was, and I couldn't get off the train.

I'm OK, but I need to be alone for a while. I need to stay away.

Be a friend, don't worry about me. I love you, Mary Beth.

Damn you, Harvey! I told you.

What did you have to say that for?

I used to think it was the size that put things into perspective.

You can't come face-to-face with the Atlantic and still think you're the centre of the universe. Look...

I'd like to be alone. It's OK. I come to the beach for that, too. But it's more than being alone,

it's the negative ionisation. Puts you inward. Very calming.

I have been to beaches all over the world. Barbados, Marseilles...

I'm sure. They all leave you with the same feeling, inner calm.

Listen, miss... No, call me Maggie. Maggie...

Maggie, I don't know anything about those beaches cos I've never been all over the world.

As a matter of fact, this is the only beach I know.

And I would like to sit here on this beach, quietly, and sort a few things out for myself.

If that's all right with you. Oh, please...don't let me bother you.

CLASSICAL MUSIC

I should have been here when he called. Does he know where she is?

She said she was fine, she wanted to be alone and she hung up.

Take me off St Joe's cos I'm gonna find her. I'm as worried as you are. Otherwise, she'd been down as AWOL.

YOU are on a case. I want you working on it!

ANSWERING MACHINE: 'Mary Beth, please don't hang up.

'I've gone to work, sweetheart, so I wouldn't go crazy worrying.

'The Diddestinos loaned me this machine. PLEASE call me. 555 - 6351.

'Please! I love you!'

Looks like you're a little late to make a withdrawal. Hello. Yeah, how about this place?

Owners think they could do better with a restaurant than a bank. They figure people gotta eat. Yeah.

Listen, Harvey...

If it's my fault, I'm very sorry.

She's my partner and I really push her a little hard sometimes.

I just get very ambitious, y'know, and I don't care that there are other people tugging at her.

I just expect her to be there for me whenever I need her.

No, you didn't drive her away, Chris.

Any more than I did.

Well, I gotta do something to try and find her.

Do you know anybody she'd like go and see? Friends, relatives?

I called everyone I can think of.

Give me her credit card numbers. I'll call 'em in, see if they've been used and where.

When this becomes a restaurant, we'll have dinner here. The three of us. On me.

Sounds good.

Thanks, Harvey.

HAYDN TAPE IS PLAYING You look so peaceful sitting here.

I made a sketch of you.

Some people like a souvenir of their stay at the beach.

..How dare you.

How...how DARE you watch me like that.

I want to be alone here!

I'm having a nervous breakdown here and you're putting me on paper!

Yeah, I know. It's not that good... DON'T...talk to me! Out of my way.

That's the same as stealing!

That's the same as stealing my time and stealing myself...

Please, leave me alone.

All right, that could be our guy. Thank you. Isbecki...

Just got a call from our contact at the FBI.

The computer kicked back one name. Dortmunder, Lionel A. Aged 28. He's an orderly.

His personnel card says high school education.

But the Feds have him down, same name, same middle initial,

as a PhD in nuclear physics with clearance as a research scientist.

What's he doing at St Joe's? Find out.

Let me know what happens. You got it.

Hi. Your name Dortmunder? Yeah.

I thought you looked familiar. But I couldn't quite place you.

A buddy of mine, Eddie Dortmunder, went to Syracuse. You related? Not me. Wrong Dortmunder.

That's funny cos you look just like him.

Police! Come on, out!

Up against the car. Right, spread. Come on!

Gimme that one.

I thought you were working for my wife. She's driving me nuts. I couldn't take the pressure, right?

To support her fancy lifestyle you've got to get a job.

I'm happy pushing patients to X-ray and sleeping well at night.

Why did you lie on your application?

D'you think they'd give me the job if they knew I had a PhD?

Coffee, please.

Hi, I'm sorry to bother you, but I don't know anybody else here.

Lady, you don't know me. I wonder if I could ask you a favour. It's very embarrassing.

I'm short. I need seventeen cents to pay my bill.

I mean, I just assumed they'd take Carte Blanche.

Plus tip.

What do you need? Fifty-five cents.

Here, take it.

Did you study for that? I went to Sarah Lawrence. Yeah? Yeah.

Actually, I had one semester to go and I found out I was graduating third in my class. THIRD!

Third is good. Not good enough. Either I graduate first or not at all. So I dropped out.

So close to graduating, why? Maybe to give my father another chance to define me as a failure.

With him, either you're best or nothing. I can be nothing real good.

Those were good times though, the '60s. All that energy.

Y'know, somehow we all felt connected. You know, working together towards something.

Even if it was scuffling with police. Were you into that? I was there.

Trying to change the world? In my way, yes. I wanted to make a difference.

We're taking over this beach! This is the people's beach!

Come on, off of that hill! Hell, no! We won't go!

Hell, no... Come along peacefully now or I'm gonna call in the police porpoises.

Police porpoises? What?

The men in the white coats... What are we doing? What are we doing here?

Oh, God, we were naive!

Yeah... I miss it, though.

I miss having people coming in at all hours of the day and night.

Sitting up late, planning how you're going to change the world. I miss all that.

Do you miss it? No.

I don't miss that at all. See, I've always got people around me.

And they all want something from me. I shouldn't be here now. I got two other places I should be.

The only time I got for myself is in-between places. Ten minutes here...on the train.

What is that on the tape? Haydn's 73rd in D. You like it? Haydn's 73rd in D...

That's what I'm talking about. When was the last time I even noticed music?

There's things I want to know about that I don't know about. Art history...ECONOMICS.

The closest I came to learning economics was saving up green stamps for a calculator!

There's stuff I'm afraid I'm going to miss cos I promised too much of myself to too many people.

So unpromise. Unpromise? What is that? Walk away. Oh...

Look at this...

Look at that. Isn't that beautiful?

It just floats away and disappears. You could do that.

I'm expecting money from my father tomorrow. I'm taking off for Papeete. Want to come?

Just think about it.

I am going to go and ply my wares. You may not believe it, but there are people who'd like a souvenir...

I'm sure there are. It's too late to change the world, but it's never too late to see it.

Think about it.

Nothing on any of the charge nurses. Who has the keys when they're away?

Assistants checked out, too. Maybe it's one of the doctors. Maybe there's a duplicate key.

Anyway, they leave that drug cabinet unattended an awful lot.

Cagney? Cagney, are you listening to me?

Sorry. She'll be OK. She knows how to take care of herself.

Sister Lorett. I was looking for you. Hello, Doctor.

I was going to buy you dinner. Cleaned up on the Irelanders today.

Not tonight, Doctor, thank you. How about tomorrow? Maybe. Great. If the Rangers lose, it's Dutch.

That guy's making a pass at you. Don't be ridiculous.

He thinks you're a nun and he's making a pass! He's just being nice.

That's not what you say when I do it.

See how serene you both look. Negative ionisation.

Hey!

I don't think so, thank you. Hey, Maggie!

I'm taking over this beach. It was yours to begin with.

How about a hot dog on you? Listen, remember that time we were talking about when we were young?

I wanted to change the world and I still do.

I got married, had babies and started a job that I thought was important.

That's how I thought I'd change things. I understand. Those things were right for me.

I can change the world by sticking to what I believe in.

Like you. You get it? I get it. You're not going to Papeete.

I can't go to a place I can't pronounce.

Listen, have a hot dog on me, have breakfast, too, and have a wonderful trip, will you do that?

All right. Thank you.

Wait! You know that tape of mine, the Haydn? It's my favourite, too.

Maybe you'll play it from time to time, huh?

So when did bookies start giving Christmas presents? There's a lot of competition out there.

You gave this guy a stereo tape deck? He lost 85 grand. I don't want to leave him with a bad taste.

It's not as expensive as it sounds. I get 'em wholesale. Hey, maybe you'd like a stereo tape deck.

You want a stereo tape deck?

Listen, I gotta get out of here. Would you excuse me for a moment? I'll be back. Don't go away(!)

Bert... Hmm? Murray Feldmeyer, the bookmaker we picked up the other day.

His collection book. Dan O'Connell. Credit line - $50,000.

Last year he exceeded that by another 50,000.

Total - $100,000 credit line.

Feldmeyer's Christmas list...

Dan O'Connell, MD, 19" colour television set. Serial number, cost. So what?

Well, that name seemed a little familiar to me... The roster of personnel, St Joseph's Hospital.

Dan O'Connell. And he would only make about...? $80,000 a year.

Go for it.

It wouldn't be too difficult for him to syphon off Class 2 drugs during a Code Blue.

It's not him. No, huh?

Morphine...demarol...percoden.

Let's get him. I know where to find him.

Oh, no! All right, get it up there.

Wally, please. Excuse me.

Wally, how are you feeling? I'm on a roll, another winner.

Doctor, may I talk to you outside? Sure you can. I'll be back, Wally.

Hey, change your mind about dinner? I wish I could.

But I'm afraid that you're busy.

Hold it! Come on, you're not gonna jump.

You want to lay me odds, sister?

Oh, well, only suckers bet on long shots.

I'll start the paperwork on Dr Dan.

In the ladies' room. What? In the ladies' room!

Christine, I want you to notice something. I did not clean up the bathroom. What?

I wanted to. In fact, I started to... What are you talking about?

Do you know how many people have been worried about you? I'm sorry about that. You're sorry? Yes.

Are you all right? I want to tell you what happened, because you don't walk out on a partner.

There's days I wake up and the kids are fighting, Harv can't find socks

and the case we're working on is falling apart. I think, "I can't do it."

And there's days when I wake up and the kids are fighting, Harv can't find socks

and I think, "I love this life."

You know?

So...I called Harv. He's at home waiting for me. I'm gonna tell him what I just told you.

I'm gonna go on vacation for a week and then I'll be back. All right? Yeah.

Just don't expect me to clean the bathroom while you're gone.

LOCK TURNS

I remembered the pizza.

Harv, d'you want to talk? Up to you.

I only need to know you're home.

Good morning, one and all. Good morning, Christine. How was your week off? I recommend it.

Christine, we had the BEST time.

Is that my desk? I never saw my desk so clean.

Remember Sonia, our punko queen? She's out on bail. That figures. She sent this to you.

"May you never find a moment's rest or peace of mind."

She could be wrong for once. Let's see some work. Nice to see you, too!

Welcome back. 'It's for you, Mary Beth, on two...'