Bounty Hunter Cagney and Lacey

'Cease firing. Retrieve your target.

'Present it to the range officer for qualification.'

Boy, I nailed this sucker. Anybody we know?

Lazar. Who? Lawyer defending a drug dealer I busted.

Got you right in the vital organs. You're a dead mouthpiece.

Victor, that's his job. He knows his client's guilty.

He's going after my defence procedure. He says I didn't knock and announce. Knock and announce...!

So did you? The guy had the evidence in one hand and a toilet flusher in the other.

Lazar's asking for a dismissal on account of no knock and announce!

So did you knock? D'you expect...?

..me to stand there like a target? Did you or didn't you knock?

Yeah. Softly.

Salvadore Piacisimo. Salvador Passisimo.

No, no. Sal-va-dor-e Pia-cis-imo. I never could speak languages.

Italian is meant to be sung. # Salvadore Piacisimo # Salvadore Pialisimo...whatever!

I don't want to hear it. Chris, I have a message for you from Salvadore Piacisimo.

Sounds like a pansy name. You wouldn't want to get him in ring.

His cologne would knock me out(!) He was European Middleweight Champ.

What did he say? Signor Piacisimo says to kiss your hand...

A million regrets, but he cannot have dinner with you tonight. He was called unexpectedly to Rome.

Thank you, Le Guardia. Mi dispiace.

Perfect teeth? Ex-prize fighter.

But he's Italian. He'll be back.

Want to eat with Harv Jnr, Michael and me? Where's Harvey?

Bowling night. Come on, we'll double-date.

Harv Jnr is crazy about you. Yeah? That kid, in a couple of years... I've changed my mind.

ID on the perp who knocked over the armoured car. Buddy Springer...

Aged 38, attempted homicide, forfeited a bail bond in Michigan.

Who gave him bail? Judge in Detroit. He's already done two stretches!

Then he's just your ordinary armed robber roaming free between convictions(!) Want a picture out?

Why do they come here? Land of opportunity(!) Let's go.

Where? Check it out. Wait, Christine. Why not give the ID to the night shift first?

We could start now. D'you know what time it is? We are off tour in twenty-one minutes.

Two gorgeous guys are waiting. They can... Christine.

So where are they taking us? Someplace snazzy?

We're talking two weeks' allowance here. I don't think so. No wine, huh? Rootbeer.

I'm gonna have the Bellybuster burger. What's that? It's got bacon, sausage, barbecue and relish.

I can handle that. How about you, Michael? I'll have the same.

Since when did you like bacon? Oh, yeah. I'll have a cheeseburger.

Michael, order something exotic like your brother. You've got twenty-five burgers to choose from.

I'm not that hungry. Are you sure? All right.

Let's sit down.

You OK? Yeah.

We didn't get anything to drink. Men, what are we going to drink with our Bellybummer burgers?

Bellybuster. OK. Besides, you gotta be eighteen to drink in New York.

You have tight connections with the police. I want cream soda.

It's not on the menu. Nor is wine. Pick something on the menu.

Of course, I didn't notice. I'll have milk.

Milk! What's wrong with milk? Milk's for nerds.

Who combed his hair specially...? Knock it off. Or I'll arrest you.

You have the right to remain silent. If you give up the right,

anything you say can and will be used in a court of law.

You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one...

Mr Pitkin, if you don't arrange your wife's bail, we'll transfer her to central booking.

She's seventy-one years old. Jail is not a nice place at that age.

I doubt whether she tried to kill anyone. A borsch ladle is not the most efficient murder weapon(!)

I know what I'm talking about. Maybe he needs glasses. No, something is bothering him.

Have you tried talking to him? No, with Michael you've gotta wait.

We got a stalk on Buddy Springer. Yeah?

Desk clerk in a transient hotel thinks he might have seen him. Where? That's the address.

Come on, let's go. I'm calling the eye doctor. The guy could be gone. Cancel the call. OK...

Hold up.

They promised to fix the elevator three months ago... Sir, sir, keep your voice down.

You're not gonna break the door down? I hope not. D'you know how much doors cost?

Where is it? I have the key. Maybe I could just open the door.

We're going to knock and announce ourselves as police officers.

We're going in with guns drawn. You've got nothing but a key.

Will there be violence? I abhor... Just stand over here!

Police! Open up! Oh, Lord...

FREEZE! I'm frozen. Don't move. I'm not. Who are you?

My name's Michael Magruder.

Look, I'm gonna move my right hand real slowly down to my chest pocket.

I'm gonna take out my ID and drop it right in front of you.

OK. OK, I'm moving now...

Michael Magruder. You work for a bail bondsman from Michigan.

What's funny, Michael? Nothing.

You have a permit to carry that? In four states. A walking arsenal!

You don't think I'd do this gig with a squirt gun, do you(?)

Is he really a cop? Did you identify yourself to this man as a police officer?

I think that's an exaggeration. What IS your job description?

Bounty hunter, eh? He's famous. Had an article written about him in the Tactical Services.

Detroit PD decorated. Went into business for himself. That man has brought in over a hundred bail-skips.

Very impressive. Black belt in karate. He has this incredible gun collection.

Could blow away half the midwest. Your type of man(!) Yeah!

Michael Magruder doesn't knock and announce, no! He grabs his perp, locks him in his trunk and bam!

He delivers. Why doesn't he just lynch him on the spot(?)

Buddy Springer's in New York. That makes him MY problem. After trial, Michigan can have him.

If he's not in Detroit by the end of the month, the bond is forfeit.

You can't breeze in, bust some guy and haul him off.

You're cute, honey, but you don't know your constitutional law. Don't call me honey. And what law?

You can keep that... I'm quoting from an 1883 Supreme Court decision.

"When bail is given, the principle is regarded as a continuance of the original imprisonment.

"Whenever an appointed agent..." That's me. "chooses to do so, they may seize and deliver him.

"Or they may imprison him until they are able to do so." That's not kidnapping.

"They may pursue him across state lines. They may arrest him on the Sabbath..." Quaint, huh?

"They may even for that purpose break into his house..." And so on.

Is this song and dance legal? Yes, I'm afraid it is, Cagney. Magruder is not unknown to the dept.

So what's your angle? Money, honey. Twenty-five percent of the bond.

That bond's for $200,000. You get $50,000 for Springer?!

That's the free enterprise system. God bless America!

If you two hadn't come busting into that hotel room, I'd be long gone.

Now you've got a uniform standing outside. Buddy Springer won't come within ten miles of that dive.

Lt, can I go now. Can't we hold him on something? You can try B E. That's breaking and entering.

But I think it would fall apart.

Those locks on those places, you just breathe on them and they just pop right open.

I didn't force the door and I didn't leave any marks. What were you doing in the hotel?

Just visiting my old pal Springer.

No, no, the DA would throw it out. I'll tell you what, though,

you want his accomplice? The man's name is Lee Walker. No bond on him. Don't do me any favours(!)

We'll take him. And we'll take Springer, too. Because they've both broken the law here in New York.

So pick up your property on the way out, Magruder. Leave us your address and telephone number.

'72 Ford van. No phone. You live in a car?!

I don't like wasting money. Well, it's been a little bit heavy. Ladies...

Springer's on our turf, Magruder. We get him.

Is that so? Don't get in my way.

You are SO cute! Cagney, honey, I'm gonna be in and out so fast, you won't know I was here.

TV IS ON It's almost nine.

Ma, the bad guy's about to get his brains splattered on the pavement. He always gets it before the end.

If you know how it's gonna end, you won't miss anything. Ma!

Get into bed, I'll kiss you later. Do you have to?

You want your brains splattered? Michael, I want to talk to you. She found out about that stain. Go!

Mikey, I called the eye doctor. He reminded me that three months ago your eyes checked at 20/20.

I don't need glasses, Ma. So how come you couldn't read that menu? The letters were small.

Those letters were very big. They were hard words, that's all.

You got C in reading last year. How are you doing this year? OK.

How come I never see you reading? I just don't like reading.

Reading is something everybody has to have. I didn't get left back. You didn't get good grades, either.

Michael, if you've got a problem, then we've got to talk about it. No, Ma.

Sweetheart, talk to me.

I got a problem...

Last night I went to bed and I couldn't sleep, because I knew something was bothering you.

So we gotta talk about it. I mean, whatever it is, we'll take care of it.

I can't read, Ma.

I can't read.

Give me a hug. I need a hug.

He's in 4th grade and he can't read?! We've got an appointment with his teacher at noon.

D'you think it's her fault? I'm gonna find out. If we hadn't gone out, I wouldn't have noticed.

The schools are overcrowded... I'm talking about basic reading.

Run, Spot, run. Bonzo burger. Side of French fries. Rootbeer!

Chris, Forensic sent this over from Springer's room. Thanks, Marcus.

Magruder's probably been through it. He ticks me off!

Christine, the guy's on our side. Come on, he's a one-man judge, juror and executioner.

If he gets Springer, that's one less armed robber around.

He doesn't have to knock and announce! Jealous? No!

No? There's a difference between being a cop and a kidnapper.

You've got a fantasy about being Dirty Harry. Not true. No? Anyway, you're better looking than him.

I'm gonna nab Springer and I'm gonna do it before Magruder. See what I'm talking about?

Let me see that lighter. Initials VR. Maybe we can connect him to someone through the lighter.

Ex-wife, Violet, moved to New York! Violet Springer is VS.

She could have remarried. Or maybe her maiden name starts with R. VR.

Possible... How about the MVD?

They could run driver's licence applications. They'd know if she changed her name and her address.

OK, I gotta be at Michael's school in 54 minutes. Can't it wait?

No, it can't wait. The eye doctor waited. Some of us have obligations outside this precinct, Christine!

Fine. I'll go by myself. Fine. I'll be back by two. Very good.

Brudinski, do I have to go through this every time I want a computer run? You could go through channels.

It takes three days! Dinner with me would only take one. This is sexual harassment.

Who said anything about sex?

You could go through channels yourself. Phone me. Ring ring!

I'm going out with someone. You see. I'm going through channels. Cagney!

I already ran it while you were getting coffee. I have trouble saying no to you.

Interesting dating technique... You intimidate... I love it!

I love it when a long shot pays off. You're a doll, Brudinski. Thanks!

What the hell do you mean "intimidate"? Well...you do.

Sometimes.

There's a little sushi restaurant, Forty-third and First. Thursday, eight o'clock.

You're on!

Raw fish...

She says, "The problem is all over schools." I'm not buying it, Chris. You're not a teacher. I'm a mother.

I know. But not all mothers are objective. You're an expert(?)

No, I'm just giving you her point of view. She obviously doesn't have time to spend with Michael.

It's not good enough. I know that...

How would you like it if she told you how to do your job? I knew I should not discuss this with you.

All right, we won't. OK by me.

I think Springer's staying with his ex-wife. At least they've made contact cos of that lighter.

He could have had that forever. They've been divorced ten years.

Traffic down to Staten Island's got to be murder! Mary Beth, could you stop being negative?

It's five o'clock. I've been up 11? hours, worked 8.

On my lunch hour they told me my kid can't read. They can't do anything. I'm tired and I've got a headache.

I'm sorry about Michael. I am! But we gotta stay on this.

Are you afraid Magruder's going to get there first? Not unless he's wired into somebody at MVD.

Huh? The price for this information is dinner with Stanley Brudinski.

Oh... Hey, you want to take the ferry? Sure.

When's the last time you saw the Statue of Liberty at sunset?

June 25, 1974!

Trust me.

There it is.

That van's got Michigan plates. It certainly does.

What is HE doing here? He's got a right to be here. No, he doesn't! Christine!

Hiya, doll face. What are you doing here? Wasting my time.

She's been juicing all day. Cheap Bourbon. Don't take any. Did you tell her you were police?

That's illegal. Magruder, wait! Yeah, we should keep in touch.

How about tomorrow night, huh?

Have a nice day(!) MUSICAL HORN

How does he get away with it?! Maybe he had lunch with Brudinski.

When did you last see Buddy? Three days ago. He called needing money.

He always calls when he needs money. He just knocked over a payroll!

Bills are marked. He needs someone to launder it. Did you tell Magruder?

Did you give Buddy the money? Do you know what hush money is?

My husband doesn't know anything about Buddy. He'd never understand my being married to a man like that.

Has he tried to contact you since then?

Any idea where he is?

What else did you tell Magruder? Nothing. Here's my card. Phone us if your ex-husband contacts you.

That applies to Magruder, too. He's hindering prosecution.

You call us if either Magruder or Springer make contact. In fact, don't even talk to Magruder.

Is there any way I can get him out of my life? Yeah, I'm gonna find him. Put him away for about thirty years.

So we sacrifice some. Some? $4,000 a year is more than some.

And what about Harvey Jnr? Does he go to private school, too? We send him, too. Only $8,000!

What do we cut out, food or rent(?) Michael can't read and if money can help, we have to get money.

PHONE RINGS Chris...we're off duty now.

I am not going to Staten Island tonight. I put in my 8 hours, which was 8 hours 46 minutes.

Tonight I am fighting with my husband!

That woman is driving me out of my mind! ..Where were we?

We gotta do it some other way. Like what? Like us!

If the school's not doing it, then we gotta do it ourselves. Michael is gonna learn how to read!

You an' me and our kid. We're gonna make the effort and that makes the difference, not some fancy school!

You sure? We may not have much money, but we have the love. I wouldn't have the other way round!

So, suddenly you've got nothing to say. I love you, Harv. I just wish we had an extra $8,000.

Oh, you better not start. I wish we had $8,000...

OK, Saturday. We start to tutor the kid on Saturday.

He'll have to give up Little League. We'll have to give up Saturday, the one day we got to ourselves.

He better learn fast. You said it!

Morning, Chris. Morning. How was your stake out? Exciting.

Violet and Joe watched television all night. I called Staten Island. They're putting a man on Violet.

Magruder's probably got a jump on us anyway. He barges in anywhere he wants, insults people, bribes them.

Don't get carried away, Christine. Chris, phone for you. Line 3.

Would you get that, Mary Beth? Detective Lacey.

Thank you... We got a hostage situation in a coffee shop. The perpetrator is asking for you.

Get go?

SIREN WAILS

Who's in charge?

Cagney? Yeah, I'm Cagney. How many people are in there?

The shooter and the guy he shot. Wouldn't come out till you got here.

Who's the guy? Name of Magruder.

Magruder! This is Detective Cagney. Get out here with your hands up!

Hiya, Cagney, honey.

Just didn't want some trigger-happy uniform to make a tragic mistake.

Secure your weapons. He's on our side. He's a bounty hunter.

You better get the meat wagon. This boy's a quart low. Who's hurt?

Lee Walker. He's all yours. Sorry he's not in better condition. Ambulance, Sergeant.

I've seen this guy on television! I'll be damned...!

Hiya, cutie. Up against the wall, Magruder. OK...

Spread 'em!

Ooh, Cagney, don't do that. I live alone. You dreamer!

Lee Walker is no rocket engineer. I shot him cos he pulled a gun.

If I'd wanted, I'd have iced him. A true humanitarian(!)

Coffee, please. How did Springer get away? I must be getting old. He made the door before I made him.

Oh, he knows you? Well, where I come from, I'm kinda famous.

And to think that you're talking to us(!) How did Springer get away?

Ducked into the men's room. Didn't even bother to warn his partner.

Thanks... Have you got a dollar? No.

Keep it... Anyway, I'm talking to Walker when bang! men's room door opens, Springer's firing away.

Walker pulls his gun, I pull mine. It gets a little exciting for a minute.

I drop Walker, but Springer's gone. His car is still there.

How did he get away? You ain't exactly no rocket engineer yourself. Subway's right down the corner.

Just tell us what happened. Just the facts, ma'am. I come back to see how Walker is.

All of a sudden, all hell breaks loose. The cavalry has arrived and just a few minutes later,

honey doll, you show up to brighten my entire day. You know what?

Aw! Magruder... Yeah? You're under arrest.

You gotta be kidding! No. Oops! Don't want to hurt you.

Come on. Wait! Last time I looked self defence still held water.

Tell that to a judge. What's so funny? I only heard lines like that on TV... Owww!

Lacey, show her how to use these things, will you? I'm busy.

A machine gun? I bet those perps showed you some respect then, huh? That's right.

You don't have to fire a warning shot to announce yourself. No. You got it made, man.

You know what I really like, Victor... Your name is Victor? Yeah.

What I like is when I line the gun up on the left ventricle.

Then I squeeze the trigger nice and slow...pow! Good evening, ladies.

Did you get anything from Walker? None of your business. Don't feel badly. Neither did I.

Cagney, Lacey, we'll have to release your friend. How did he make bail?

Assistant DA said it was a hinky case. Hinky? Magruder shot the guy!

All the witnesses said the other guy shot first. The American justice system triumphs again!

Checks and balances designed to protect the innocent citizen against over-zealous police.

Lieutenant, I'm sorry if I caused you any inconvenience. Usbecki, process this guy outta here.

Cagney, I'll be out of here in an hour. How about dinner tonight?

..Yeah, van with Michigan plates.

You already towed it?

Well, put it back exactly where you found it!

I want it there within an hour.

OK, thanks... Conference, Christine.

Hiya, Pullman.

Would you mind telling me what you're doing? It is no big deal.

I am tired of Magruder being one step ahead. I'm staking out his car and then I'm gonna follow him.

Makes sense? Uh-huh. Good.

Mary Beth, I understand that you're worried about Michael. I'm not asking you to go with me this time.

So there's no reason for you to be mad. Uh-huh. You are mad.

Do I get to talk now? Sure. I really do?

OK...you and I have been at each other about this for two days.

I'm not mad. I am concerned. I'm concerned about you.

You are so obsessed with this Magruder, you are burning yourself out.

Working all night... You're sounding like a fanatic, Christine.

Now, you have a date tonight.

I forgot about Brudinski. That's what I'm talking about.

All you're thinking about is Magruder, and it so happens that Brudinski is a very nice person.

Have a diversion. And, as it's Brudinski, a good night's sleep.

Tomorrow we'll go back on the case. But tonight, leave it go, OK?

Good. I'm going home. I'll see you tomorrow.

Have a good time.

Brudinski? It's Cagney. Listen, I'm real sorry about tonight, but I have a stake out.

What - next Friday? Absolutely. The sushi place? Terrific! I'll see you then. Bye.

Brudinski?! You'd go out with Brudinski, but you wouldn't go out with me?

The man has admirable techniques, Victor.

Hi, Cagney, honey.

Why don't you change your mind about dinner?

OK, we'll eat later.

We'll have to use your place if we're to spend the night together. I don't like paying for hotel rooms.

Remember I told you... Cagney!

I've got an air mattress in the back of the van...! No, huh?

How come you don't buy any good cereal, Mom?

There's more nutrition in the box than in the cereal inside.

I-N-S-I-D-E. I-N-S-I-D-E. Perfect. I'd rather eat the box than the stuff.

I'd rather eat a shoe than the stuff!

This stuff is good. It's got a lot of fiber. F-I-B-E-R. F-I-B-E-R.

Pancakes tomorrow? All right!

I gotta get my notebook.

Don't forget your books tomorrow. We're going to work. Oh, that! I can't tomorrow.

What's that mean? The Coach said he'd let me pitch, so I figured the reading stuff could wait a week.

No, Michael. Dad, tell her!

It's real important. This is more important.

What do you want from me? I'm not smart. Harv Jnr's the smart one. Leave me alone.

You ARE smart. You can learn anything. I feel so dumb.

Know who Albert Einstein was? The smartest man in the world.

Yes. He had trouble in school too. You're as smart as anyone, Michael Lacey, and we know you can do it.

Tomorrow...? T-O... T-O...

M-O... M-O... Double R. Double R. O-W... O-W...

Morning, Chris.

Morning.

You look like you haven't slept all night.

Oh, Chris! Brudinski?

I didn't even see Brudinski last night.

You lied to me. I didn't lie to you. I just didn't disagree.

What is your problem? My problem is you.

I don't know what's worse, lying to me or rushing off leaving me here!

You didn't miss a thing. Good of you to decide that for me too(!) What do you want?

Stop being a one-woman vigilante and treat me as a partner! You're never there!

Don't change the subject. OK, full disclosure between partners.

I staked out Magruder's car last night. I figured that out myself.

I haven't told you the fun part.

It took him 30 seconds to catch on, and he spent the rest of the time making me look a total fool.

That is the full disclosure, OK?

Cagney and Lacey, someone here to see you! In a minute!

I can't say no to him.

I'm terrified of him. You gave him money. Where is he, ma'am?

I don't know. He met me at the bank. How much did you give him?

He wanted a thousand, but I was too afraid Joe would miss it right off, so I gave him 350.

But he started screaming that that'd barely get him to Atlantic City.

Luckily he was too afraid to beat me up in public. Call Laguardia. If he leaves by air, we lose jurisdiction.

He's taking the bus. From Staten Island. How do you know? He's afraid of the cops,

so he won't go to Port Authority, he's afraid of a weapons check, so he won't fly.

At least that's what Mr Magruder said.

I told you not to talk to him! I know you said not to talk to him. He gave me 350 dollars to tell him.

He's everywhere! I need to put that money back.

But Joe's going to find out anyway. I know he will. Unless you can do something. Anything.

Next bus to Atlantic City leaves in 39 minutes. Excuse us, please.

There's his van! I cannot believe it! How does he do it?

No!

Where the hell is he?

Come on! He'll bring Springer back here. Stay with the van, I'll check the buses. Don't tell me what to do!

We're both after Springer. Hey, Atlantic City!

We're going to Michigan. Gotta move. Ugh! Perfect!

Detective Lacey, NYPD. Let me through!

Police brutality! You deny what is clear as the nose on your face...

You ought to be ashamed! D'you know which way he went? No, I don't!

Driver, help us out. The other cop was just here. Is he a burly guy, silver hair? Yeah. Where'd they go?

Directly to jail, do not pass go(!)

He's already got him. I am going to the van! Fine, I will check inside!

Excuse me, please. Excuse US!

Detective Lacey, NYPD. I'm looking for two suspects. One's a burly guy, about 40...

What's the matter, Buddy? Huh?

You wanna stay with the pretty lady in New York. You don't wanna go back to Michigan.

That hurts. That kidney's so tender.

I'd like to look around. Yes, sir.

Wake up. I'm not carrying you, you sleaze-bag!

That's a boy, nice and quiet. Right, we're travellin'!

Got you now, Magruder! Over there!

Police! Police! Hold it right there!

Put the gun down or I'll shoot! Not until HE does!

Magruder, lay your gun down! Lacey, don't be stupid!

This sleaze'll get some hotshot lawyer and he'll walk!

Lay your gun down! Let me take him to Michigan - 20 years guaranteed!

Michigan can have him when we're through.

All right, how about a consultancy fee? 10 per cent of what I get.

10 per cent - that's 5,000 bucks!

Don't tell me you can't use 5,000. Do your job. Don't let him bribe you.

Easy, Buddy! He wants to stay in New York. Lacey, five grand. All you gotta do is not find us.

I did find you. To take Springer outta here, you must shoot me first.

Congratulations, Lacey! You're the perfect cop - dumb and honest!

I'm tired of this, both of you! You've got five seconds - one...two...

three...four...

No!

We made the collar! He was mine! He belongs to the State of New York. You didn't care about this case!

He was mine! Spunky! I love your spirit, honey.

Don't you call me "honey" again! If you step one more foot in New York again... I know how you feel.

I wish I could spend more time with you, but I must go to San Francisco.

If I ever see your face again... I'll call you when I get back.

If you're not on the other side of the Holland Tunnel in 20 minutes, I'm sending the TPF after you!

Sweetie, uh...

I'm not much of a letter-writer, but remember, no matter what, we've had these last few days together.

Nobody can take that away from us now, can they?

Can they?

I'll be thinking about you. Bye.

Go away! Reluctantly.

I hate that man. Sure you do.

50,000 bucks, Magruder! We just lost you 50,000 bucks!

Eat your heart out, honey!