The Best Day of My Life Casualty

Come on. Connie Beauchamp's ED is the talk of the town.

Who have you been talking to? Or need I ask?

I know you've got friends in high places.

-You moving out?

-I haven't been able to settle since, um...

All right, look, you can stay with me for a few nights.

She's lost her painkillers. I don't suppose somebody's handed them in?

Lost or taken?

This place does have form.

-SOBBING:

-Please, Charlie, help me.

This stops now.

This has to stop now.

SIREN WAILS

We can just drop these off,

then we can start spreading the word.

-Ah!

-Sorry!

-Robbie!

-Wow!

Er...maybe you should go and see a doctor.

There you go, Dave. Yeah, assuming I can still see!

Ah! It hurts ten times worse than it did before now.

Come here, you big baby. How many fingers am I holding up?

-12.

-HE LAUGHS

There you go. Done.

I hope it's not serious.

Right, what have we got?

Debra Wilson, 39.

At 7.30 this morning, her car was involved in an RTC

with another vehicle, travelling at approximately 45mph.

She was trapped in the car and had to be cut free at the scene.

HANSSEN: Mrs Beauchamp? A word, if I may.

Er...my office, 30 minutes?

While the location suits, the timing is off.

Dr Gardner, would you take the patient, please?

Happy to oblige, Mr Hanssen.

Staff Nurse Masters, you appear to be lingering.

Walk with me, please.

KEYS CLANK

Sean?

Where's Sean Bell?

He's been released.

HANSSEN: Now, look here.

Tell me. What do you see?

20% off if you buy before the end of the month.

Tomorrow, there will be an article in its place.

Alarmist, probably in bold lettering,

screaming the catastrophe that is our Emergency Department.

Morning. Blooming traffic!

Not now.

-I was just saying...

-Wheel along, there's a good fellow.

The patient whose drugs were stolen

has rather unkindly gone to the press.

I can only imagine their headline.

Well, offer them free double glazing.

I sense mirth.

This could be a police matter, you know.

Mislaid drugs are not uncommon. You can say as much.

I'll have to make a statement. In public, no less.

Well, you've done it before.

Yes, but the camera is not my friend -

it tends to give me the look of an undertaker.

Hardly a vote of confidence for prospective patients, is it?

Well, I'm really sorry, Henrik. I'm very busy.

Get to the point.

There is a thief among you.

Right, well, what if it's me? What are you going to do?

Please try to address this with at least a scintilla of concern.

I really do have to get on. I've more important things.

This isn't going to go away.

FRONT DOOR OPENS

Have I got this right?

Completely unconnected people come together to talk about death?

-Party time!

-Yeah, it's really popular in America.

Well, inevitably - there are six times as many people in America.

I mean the meetings. Not the deaths.

Mortality cafes are the next big thing.

Shouldn't it be called fatality cafe?

Where is this cafe?

-Um...it's in the pub, actually. Are you coming?

-Talk about death?

And to eat cake. Show them, David.

Er... Oh, er...

My version of lemon drizzle.

-Lemon misery.

-Someone really loves Bake Off.

Man with a 12-inch...

Guilty!

..laceration, and a child with infected eczema.

And what on earth is that?

Apparently, it's the cake of death.

Would you like a slice?

I'd rather see people doing their jobs.

There's a film where Death plays chess.

I've seen it innumerable times.

Big chess fan, eh?

No, big Bergman fan. I hate chess.

I can't think of a more elitist game -

all the pawns die to save the king.

Well, someone here plays, cos these pieces aren't moving themselves.

Involved in a match, are you?

And losing.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Sean!

KNOCKING CONTINUES

Jay.

He's not here.

You went to get him. I saw your car was gone.

Yeah...they let him out early.

-Where'd he go?

-I don't know.

If I knew, I'd already be there.

That's a joke.

Like he knows what love is.

-Any last message for him?

-Jay...

Please!

Jay!

Hiya. What can I get you?

Erm...

I'll have a knickerbocker glory, please.

Sure.

SIREN WAILS

You'll get clamped if you hang around here much longer.

-Ooh...

-Yes?

You've got your undertaker face on.

Sorry.

I'm afraid this is not a day for levity.

The much-heralded ED is about to be plunged into a crisis,

and not one, I'm afraid, I can influence the outcome of.

Say again?

Well, you'll read about it soon enough.

There's been a theft of drugs from a patient.

Said patient has complained, and it's about to go very public.

Now I understand the undertaker face.

And that's only the tip, I'm afraid.

An unfortunate sequence of alarming events has got the Trust twitching.

A staff nurse being shot, a nurse killing another nurse,

a triage tent being erected on this very spot because we couldn't cope.

The Trust, as is their wont,

will ask for someone's head to appease the masses.

Not literally, obviously, but...

..they'll want a big fish. And the biggest fish...

Connie.

With great responsibility comes a great fall.

I wish there was something I could do.

Answers on the proverbial postcard, please.

And hand-delivered, bearing in mind the timeframe.

Sorry, um...

Cubicles are getting busy.

I'm on it.

If I can help, I will.

Does he fancy you?

Really?

I know you two have got history.

I just didn't know it was that type of history.

If we had, he'd be smiling a lot more.

HE CHUCKLES

-Breathe into it.

-Are you serious? It's half-nine in the morning.

-For me, Gary.

-Mum!

You want to spend time with your daughter, don't you?

She has to be back by four. No later than that.

I can do that.

4pm, Gary.

Really? I was thinking 4am(!)

Only there's this great nightclub...

Enjoy the day.

And remember, everything's for the best.

You all right, love?

Right.

Off on our adventures.

HE CHUCKLES

Mmm!

Compliments to the chef.

Take a fag break.

Go!

Get up. I'm taking you to see my dad.

-But he's...

-But what?

Say it, Sean.

Say it!

You're going to get down on your knees,

and read the words I had written on his headstone.

-And then when you're done...

-That was an accident.

My fault, but an accident all the same.

Tell my dad that.

Agh!

I've done my time! I've paid!

GLASS SHATTERS

HE SCREAMS

Ugh!

Argh!

Ahh...

I paid in full.

I did five years!

Wait!

You can't just leave!

GRUNTS AND GROANS

Charlie...

I saw Mrs Beauchamp and Hanssen having a powwow in the car park.

They're colleagues, Mac.

But you didn't see the way they looked at me.

It was like they could tell.

Do you think they can sense something's wrong?

Well, they're good, but they're not that good.

Look, I've got the stuff locked away safely.

So no-one can possibly trace it back to you. All right?

-You promise?

-Cross my heart.

Charlie, look, I've never said this, mate, but...

No need.

INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER

3-0-0-6 received.

Right, you can forget that. We've got a shout.

That's not funny, man. I'm starving.

Max keeps eating my food.

Eat Max, then.

Ah, Rita.

Ah! You remembered my name.

Yeah, listen...

If you get a minute later, I'd...

-I'd really like to...

-I wouldn't.

You've got to turn that frown upside down.

I hate that saying, Jacob. In fact, I hate that saying so much,

I am prepared to kill the next person who says it.

So what's allowed, then?

SHE SIGHS

Not today.

I wouldn't be a mate if I didn't ask.

It's just people, Jacob.

People of the northern git variety.

'So, we've got seven hours.'

That's a tenpin bowling trip, a movie, maybe two movies,

lunch, sweets...

What else? Clothes shopping?

I sold a few things on eBay, I did pretty well.

So how about that?

Sweetheart?

-TEARFULLY:

-We can do whatever you want. It's your day as well.

Or we can sit here and play name the song on the radio.

First one to ten gets, erm...

an air freshener.

THEY CHUCKLE

That's better.

Dad...

Mum said not to say, but we're moving away.

HE SIGHS

CAR HORN BLARES, TYRES SCREECH

'You know that guy that Mum's with?'

He's got a name, love.

Well...

He's also got a job abroad.

Lot of money. Near the sea.

That'll, erm...

SHE SIGHS

That'll be nice. When do you go?

This is the last time that we get to do this.

Oh, sweetheart.

It was supposed to be the best day ever!

Hey...

-SHE SNIFFS

-Do you have a tissue?

-SHE SOBS

-Oh, Dad!

-That's not...

-I swore Mum was wrong!

-Chloe!

HE SIGHS Chloe...

SHE SCREAMS, TYRES SCREECH

Chloe!

Help me!

At least you tried to talk to Rita.

Just leave it, will you?

Thanks, love. Can you give us some room, please?

Hello, mate.

-My name's Iain. I'm a paramedic. Can you tell me your name?

-Jay.

All right, Jay.

You got any pain in your neck?

-No.

-Can you tell us what happened?

-What's it look like?

-All right, mate.

Stay nice and still for me. We're going to get you moved

and off to hospital, all right?

His neck's clear, and I'll give him some pain relief, all right?

Where'd he go? Where'd he go?!

HE WHIMPERS

HE GROANS

HE SOBS

Hi.

Can I help you?

Erm...do you mind if I...?

It's hardly a great read.

I know. Just wondering what the protocol is

for signing out drugs.

You'd have to talk to Charlie about that.

He brought in this new system.

Really? When was this?

When those drugs went missing, Charlie added Tramadol

to the controlled drugs record.

But you'd have to ask him why.

I will.

Let's hope they find them.

Doubt it. I took 'em all.

Joke.

-IAIN:

-This is Jay Cove, 21.

All right. Bed two.

He's fallen through a plate glass window,

sustaining a puncture wound to his back.

GCS 15, pulse 100, BP 110/60, sats 97, BM of 6.

Given him 10 of morphine, and he's had half a bag of saline.

Jay, we're going to keep you on your front, for obvious reasons.

Let's get him over very carefully, please.

OK, up on three - one, two, three...

..and down.

And across when we're ready, please.

One, two, three...

-Very good.

-All right, let's have bloods,

FBC, U&Es, VBG and Group and Save, please.

All right, Jay, once I've done the primary survey,

we'll get some more pain relief into you.

It's all right. You're in good hands.

He ran.

Who's that, then?

He always runs.

Always.

Don't they all, my darling?

HE SOBS AND WHIMPERS

HE SCREAMS

HE SOBS AND WHIMPERS

Oh!

OK...OK, you're going to be OK.

SHE DIALS

Charlie?

Yeah?

Your, um...missing drugs investigation -

is that still active?

Er...no. Why?

Oh, I'm just playing catch-up for the past ten years.

Keen to know if there are any new procedures I don't know about.

Too late.

It's all been resolved.

Damn, you're good!

So...no further action, then?

Done and dusted.

I've set up a social media page for the cafe,

so we just need to distribute these leaflets,

make sure nobody misses what's happening.

Shouldn't we be working?

No. This is the tea break we never get.

You're coming, right, Max?

Max!

Is that chocolate?

-ROBYN SIGHS

-He's given up smoking,

so he's trying to keep his mouth occupied by eating.

I've got nothing in my fridge at home...

Oh!

Steady!

-Me? You're the one that's rushing.

-Ohh...

Well, maybe I just don't like being in lifts.

Well, don't get in them, then.

-Look, I don't need this right now, all right?

-Ditto.

It's our tea break. We don't have much time.

Well, that's not grim, is it?

Er, anything but, actually.

I haven't finished reading it yet.

It's for a certain type of person in a certain situation.

If you don't mind...

I thought we were PROMOTING the mortality cafe...?

Anyone? Please!

-DYLAN:

-OK, are you all right carrying? Follow me.

Tell me what happened as we go.

-It was me. I knocked her down. She was in the road.

-OK.

She's my daughter. Her name's Chloe.

-CAL SIGHS

-I am so due a hair of the dog.

Oh, no. I was kind of hoping we could have a quiet one,

just get a takeaway or something.

What? No. Where's your stamina, Ethan?

-ETHAN SIGHS

-OK, look, if you're lucky,

I'll let you buy me a kebab on the way home.

-How about that?

-SCOFFING: Yeah(!)

Well, it looks like your day's going a little bit better than mine.

-No, it's not like that.

-Hmm?

-You know her.

She works in the delicatessen.

-Oh, you should ask her out, then.

-Cal, she's here as a patient.

Well, that's never stopped me.

No.

Come on.

What's that new mantra of yours - "Be more Cal."

Well, you're a very lucky guy, Jay.

The glass is only embedded in the soft tissue -

there's no damage to the lung.

So we can, er...remove it, OK?

Just get me out of here.

Well, it may be some time yet.

How about I tell YOU when I'm leaving?

Look at me, sweetheart.

OK, I think we're dealing with a concussion only,

but we'll send her for a CT as soon as we can get a slot.

In the meantime, can we have a line in and some bloods off, please?

She's, er...going abroad to live.

Lucky girl.

Very lucky. Anywhere nice?

Oh, there's the thing.

No-one's actually told me.

I can't just ask her out on a date, can I?

-She might be married.

-Well, did you check the finger?

What?

Lesson number one, Ethan - always check the ring finger!

Look...just, er...

..go over there,

have a flirt, have some fun, and...

..who knows what might happen?

Mmm.

Fine, well, if you're not interested, then...

Whoa, just...hang on.

Just give me a minute.

All right, try and keep nice and still for me, please.

You can hold my hand if you like.

Nice and still, there we go, all right?

On one, Jay.

One.

You're doing great.

JAY WINCES

Nearly there.

-All done.

-Well done.

Right, Sister Freeman?

JAY SIGHS

My dad was brought in here.

He didn't come out again.

Was too late by then.

Way too late.

I remember standing right outside that door.

Just watching.

It might be an idea to call Chloe's mum, don't you think?

Great.

You can do this, Champ.

Repeat after me...

"I am Caleb..."

I am Caleb...

"..and I am a catch."

No!

-ETHAN SIGHS

-Fine. But just...

Try not to be yourself.

Channel the...

..Knight magic.

And don't do anything I wouldn't do.

So anything.

CALEB WHISTLES

Hey!

Where's the Knight magic?

(Knight magic.)

(Yes, come on, boy.)

Hi.

IN COD AMERICAN ACCENT: How you doin'?

CAL SIGHS

This is Sean Bell, 23, found in an alleyway.

He's got a deep laceration to his right thigh.

He pulled this out himself.

Whoa!

GCS 15 throughout, pulse 100, BP 95 systolic, Sats 97, BM is 6.

Given him 10 of morphine and 500ml of saline.

I'm all right.

If that had nicked an artery, you would have been in big trouble.

Will this take long?

Why - have you got to be somewhere?

Bay 1.

Not sure I know where "where" is, but, yeah, I'd like to get going.

Right, Sean, when you're ready,

can you wiggle yourself across onto this bed for me?

If you don't mind, we'd like to take a look

at the wound first, though, Sean.

Make there isn't anything lurking.

Hmm...he's a little tachycardic.

His breathing's laboured. Does it hurt anywhere else?

It's my leg. Just my leg.

Let's take the dressing down, check the wound,

and then get an X-ray to exclude FBs.

Shopping list.

Well, we like to be thorough.

Is there anyone we can call for you? Family or friends?

No. There's no-one.

Take a breath.

-No-one at all?

-Orphan.

Another breath.

I feel so stupid.

I only popped to the chemist.

The next thing, I know I'm flat on my back in an ambulance.

Um... Is there anyone I can call for you?

Husband?

Boyfriend?

Not any more.

Good.

No, um...

I'm...sorry.

Why? It's not your fault.

ETHAN SIGHS

I'm so sorry.

I was out looking for my son.

Do you have a name?

Kim. Kimberly.

Well, Kim...

Can you go and sit somewhere else?

Thank you for your help in bringing Chloe here,

but if you don't mind...

Chloe's had her scan.

HE SIGHS

When can she leave?

We need to wait for the CT report first.

This really wasn't how I saw our day.

Do you want to come through?

Sure.

It was meant to be amazing.

Did anyone ever tell you you look like the Milkybar Kid?

Er...my brother used to make me wear a neckerchief to school.

Oh...

Which probably explains why I got beaten up so often.

SHE CHUCKLES

He had lovely blond hair.

Blond hair and brown eyes. You don't see that very often.

CAL MOUTHS

I know we don't know each other very well, but...

I don't suppose you'd want to go out some time?

Get a coffee?

-SHE SIGHS

-I'm trying to avoid caffeine.

A tea, then?

Oh...that's got caffeine in it as well, hasn't it?

He is useless at this.

Um...

Er...peppermint tea?

Or hot chocolate?

Or wine? We...we could go to a bar.

Or not? We could skip the drink entirely.

Oh!

No, that...

I didn't mean... HE SIGHS

I...I'm not that kind of guy.

I could be, if you wanted.

No, because you're obviously not that kind of woman.

Sorry.

I'm Caleb, and I'm a catch.

Then what are we waiting for?

Er...

-ELLE:

-X-ray was fine, so no need for theatre.

We'll move you to cubicles and get you stitched up.

And then I can go?

Are we such bad hosts?

Don't answer that.

-You make me go hungry, Charlie.

-Well, I hope so.

-RITA:

-There you go, my darling. You should feel a bit better now.

-KIM:

-Sean?!

-Mum!

You said you were an orphan.

What happened? Where did you go?

-I waited for you.

-I left you a message.

Was it Jay? What did he do?

No.

Will my son be all right?

He's got a pretty nasty wound.

He'll have trouble walking for a while.

Let it go - you don't need to be here.

I've waited five years for you. Ticked off every day.

You can't do this to me - I won't let you.

Sorry...what are we doing?

-What do you think?

-Oh! Er...

-Kiss me.

-Erm...

OK, I was sort of hoping we'd get to know each other first.

-Go to the pictures...

-No-one goes to the pictures any more.

-It's all online.

-Right. Dinner, then?

-I'm on a diet.

-Er...OK...

No! No, no, no, no! Really, I don't think we should be doing this.

Somebody could...

No, no, no, no! No, no! No, no! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!

Please. I'm sorry. It's not you, it's me, but...

-What?

-We can't. We...

-I...

-Jorgie?

OK. Oh! Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, no, no. Oh, gosh.

And the wrist I think is just a simple fracture.

What we're going to do is just let the painkillers do their job,

and then we'll take you along to the Plaster Room, OK, which is fun,

and I am sure we can find something for you to play with in there.

Er, Dr Keogh, she's 12, not four.

Right, thank you, Mac.

But nice try.

Fractured wrist, eh?

That's me winning the tenpin bowling, then.

Right hand, Dad. Still got my left.

Just so you know...

I'll find the money to come and visit you abroad.

So text me where you are.

Chloe!

She called your daughter's phone - one of our nurses answered.

What did I ask you?

To take care of her - that's all you had to do.

A day with her dad. A simple, easy day.

-It wasn't my fault.

-Mum, it was me.

I know you're trying to protect him.

This car came out of nowhere.

Same old story.

-You should say goodbye now.

-Mum!

You checked, remember?

Earlier - you tested me.

-Mum, please.

-I'm sober.

-Prove it.

DYLAN: If I might interject,

I think domestic disputes should probably take place elsewhere.

-MAC:

-Sorry - the lady that knocked over your daughter

is still in the ED.

I'm sure she would explain what happened.

You know, to stop you doing this.

I was with him the whole time, Mum.

Show me I'm wrong.

Show us all what a truly great and trustworthy father you are.

This is not the appropriate place for this conversation.

Show your daughter that you're not a drunk,

that you didn't lose us our house, that you CAN hold down a job,

that all of that horror no longer applies to you.

As I was saying...

Show Chloe.

Show her what a fantastic father you've been to her.

Go on.

Give her one good reason to miss you.

I'm sorry.

It's all he's ever been.

RINGING TONE "Channel the Knight magic," he says.

"Be more Cal." Just answer the damn call!

-PHONE RINGS

-Thanks.

Er...I'm going to have to get this.

-Don't tell me - you've run out of chat-up lines already.

-Hey.

Can you come and help me?

I'm sorry, what was that?

I'm...

I'm in the store cupboard off Admin.

With the patient.

HE GASPS

Way to go, Ethan!

Although if this is you asking me to join in,

that's really not what I'm into.

No, she's fainted.

OK, I need you here right now.

Hmm...

What's it worth?

Cal!

-Say "please."

-For Pete's sake, Caleb,

how many times have I helped you?

Seriously, you owe me.

Just...get here right now before Mrs Beauchamp walks in on us!

Cal!

HE HANGS UP

So what do you reckon the story is?

Story?

Sean and his mum.

Hmm...well...

Tracksuit's too big for him, wiry, haunted eyes,

she's waited five years for him...

I'm thinking prison.

I'm impressed.

You'd already worked that out.

I wonder what he did.

Well, it doesn't really matter.

If he's done the time, he's paid for the crime.

Yeah, until the next time.

-Cynic.

-Realist.

Sadly.

Charlie?

Oh, sorry, I'll be right there.

-Charlie...!

-DOOR CLOSES

SHE SIGHS

SHE SIGHS

Kill me now.

SIREN WAILS

MUFFLED SHOUTING AND SCREAMING

HE GASPS

-CAL:

-Lesson number two, Ethan.

Always lock the door behind you.

Jorgie, this is Caleb. My big brother.

Ah - neckerchief man.

Neckerchief?

Um...nothing.

Right.

How is she?

Um...well, she's tachycardic.

Um...Jorgie, is there anything that you haven't told us?

Hm.

It's just something must be causing you to faint like this.

-Drugs?

-No.

I would never...

This morning you said you went to the chemist.

What did you buy?

Just herbal stuff.

What kind of stuff?

Er...

Just vitamin D, and...folic acid.

Folic acid?

Right... Ha...

Don't tell me you, er...lured my brother in here to be a sperm donor?

Cal!

Er...

You didn't, did you?

You...were trying to get pregnant?

I'm sorry. I...

I wasn't planning it. I just...I...

I just... I want to be a mum so much.

This is not the way to go about it.

You don't know anything about me.

I thought I knew Luke. Turns out I was completely wrong.

Sorry, who's Luke?

My husband.

Your husband?

KNOCKS AT WINDOW

Sorry for the intrusion.

Well, they've said your daughter can go.

Once the doctors have signed her off.

Your wife's called a cab.

Just passing on the information.

Shall we have a toast?

Er...I'm on duty.

HE UNSCREWS BOTTLE

It's not going to help, you know.

Have one with me.

It's not really my thing.

Please.

-I can't.

-Just the one.

A nip at best.

If you promise to go and see your daughter.

That's, er...

Water.

Hmm.

I'm hardly going to win at bowling if I'm pie-eyed.

Mrs Bell.

I need to suture Sean's leg now.

-I'm not going anywhere.

-Mum!

Now I'm back, everything's going to get very ugly, very quickly.

-Look at Jay.

-So you did see him.

His dad was loved by everyone, and I left him to die in a fire.

One I'd started for fun.

That's not any son a mum wants.

Hey, that's up to me, not you.

Oh...let's put it this way.

I feel nothing.

Not for Jay or his dad.

Or you.

But the message you left?

Just words. For your sake.

Five years I've waited.

SEAN SIGHS

-MAC:

-So, um...

You've got water in a vodka bottle?

A bloke in an AA meeting told me about it.

Said it tricked the mind or some such.

Did you know vodka is Russian for water?

Well, almost.

But you wouldn't do the breathalyser.

You could've shown your wife, proved to her.

You heard her.

What use am I to Chloe?

How can I possibly add anything to her life?

You're her dad.

She's getting an upgrade. A better model.

He won't get her run over.

Right, OK, um...

You don't know me, so you don't have to listen.

But hiding in here won't make a blind bit of difference.

Believe me.

I've been there - I know.

You want to curl up and die.

But while there's breath, there's life.

And besides...

..you've got bowling to win!

OK. Right...

There, you see. I bet they never even knew you were gone.

Nice and slowly.

(Thanks.)

If you have been overdoing the folic acid,

it would explain the symptoms.

Yeah.

I'm going to get a nurse to give you regular obs,

but...you should be fine.

Thank you.

I'm sorry about earlier.

I shouldn't have put you in that position.

CAL CHUCKLES

You sure that you don't want us to call your husband?

I told him this morning that I wanted to try for a baby.

He made it very clear that he doesn't want kids.

Shouldn't you have had that conversation a little bit sooner?

I knew he was a dad when I married him.

I just assumed he'd want to have more with me.

And I know exactly what they would look like.

Blond hair, brown eyes.

I can hear them laughing.

I sound like a mad woman, don't I?

No.

No, no. You're not mad. Of course, but...

You need to talk to your husband. Properly.

If he knows how much this means to you,

then...maybe he will change his mind.

You're a good man, Dr Hardy.

Never change.

Thanks.

OK.

Oh, can I have obs?

Thanks.

She is a little bit mad, though, right?

Well, I'm never going to go to that delicatessen again.

CAL CHUCKLES

Cheer up, Nibbles. I...

I saved your bacon today.

OK, then I will pay you back by doing a whole month's washing up.

You already do the washing up.

Yes.

CAL SIGHS

I remember, by the way. The, er...neckerchief.

Er...do you know how hard it is to make friends

when you're made to gallop into school pretending to be a cowboy?

What? I so could have pulled off that look!

Go on, then.

All right.

Yee-ha!

ETHAN CHUCKLES

Hey! Is the staffroom locked?

Not doing very well with my girl chat today.

-Pop quiz.

-Mmm?

There's a ship.

A ship?

Lost at sea. Storm's raging.

The captain believes that the ship will sink

if they don't jettison some baggage.

What's the cargo?

No cargo. Just people.

-Well, chuck the evil ones first.

-But the people are like you and me.

Good people, honest people -

people just trying to make their way across an ocean.

But someone needs to be sacrificed if the ship's to stay afloat.

Is the answer 42?

THEY CHUCKLE

It would be perfectly lovely if it was.

Hey...

What's wrong?

Talk to me.

Staffroom locked?

Done that joke already, boss.

OK.

Let me know when you've worked it out.

HE WHIMPERS

Where's Sean Bell?

That's a good question. I just popped out for a sec...

Always glad to help.

KNOCKS AT DOOR

Charlie's locker.

No...!

It was open. I...

So?

-Who else have you told?

-Only you.

Good. Come with me.

RITA SIGHS

KNOCKS AT DOOR

Come in.

HE WINCES

Running again?

Let me tell you something.

Your dad's dead.

Oh...

Oi! I need some help!

Get a trolley, please.

He's not getting away.

Don't you let him die.

He's not escaping that way.

Well?

What?

Do we tell Hanssen?

Why don't you leave it with me?

I didn't want to be right about this.

There's got to be more than one reason

why those drugs are in Charlie's locker.

Really? Cos I can only think of one.

If he was using them, he'd have used them.

I think Hanssen would thank you for keeping it quiet for now.

And some advice...

Stay out of people's lockers.

I know how this looks, but it had to be done.

It's, er...

..still pretty busy out there.

There is a price to pay for this, Mrs Beauchamp.

If word gets out, then who knows what will happen to the ED

and the people who work here.

You need to sort this, and...

Point taken! Thank you.

DOOR SLAMS

SHE SIGHS

He'll have his reasons.

Yeah, he will.

DOOR SLAMS

-ROBYN:

-I can't believe hardly anybody's interested

in our first mortality cafe.

Yes, I can't think why. Look, why don't we just call it off?

-Not happening! Get thinking.

-DAVID SIGHS

I can feel some crepitus. Looks like fractured ribs. Possible contusion.

Obs, please, Robyn?

Resps 30, Sats 85 and dropping.

-HE MOANS

-I want 10ml of morphine, please,

arterial blood gases for a Pa02 reading...

83.

OK, we're going to give you some pain relief,

but you have to work with us here.

Right, what have we got?

Possible pulmonary contusion, we're giving him high flow O2,

pain relief, we're going to go for a CT.

Right. Risk of Type 1 Resp Failure.

Let's increase the O2 flow and do an arterial blood gas, please.

84.

Come on, Sean.

Let's call ITU and have the anaesthetist review him.

Come on. You can do it.

Yes! 86 and rising.

Good boy.

87...

..88.

OK, let's get a chest CT, maintain O2 flow, and pain relief.

-We'll look at chest physio if we need to.

-Close.

Yeah, too close. Whose patient was this?

I believe he's Elle's patient.

So you're off, then?

-Where did my Dad go?

-You didn't see the pub opposite?

-Mum?

-Where else?

-You'd be surprised.

He had his chance. This could have been the best day ever.

Yeah, and...

This is my precious little girl.

I can see that.

But she's also his, and even more so now that you're emigrating.

Latte, please. Sorry, cappuccino.

Uh...or a flat white.

Actually, I'll have a tea.

-ROBYN, OVER TANNOY:

-That's right, folks,

tonight at the Hope and Anchor, 6.30pm.

Holby's first-ever Death, I mean, Mortality Cafe.

Be there or be...uh, anyway, see you there.

Oh, and bring cakes.

MUSIC: Don't Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin

Max's idea. My song.

He wanted Highway to Hell.

No, thank you.

Don't mind if I do!

One thing that hasn't changed

in the ten years you've been out of the loop.

Sean did not mention his symptoms.

-Do your job.

-I did! I'm on your side.

-Meaning what?

-I know what's best for this department.

You've been here five minutes, and you know what's best?

-Connie!

-No, life and death.

They are the ONLY two things we're concerned about.

Where are we going?

You'll find out when we get there.

Still think you can beat me?

This makes a difference?

Would you mind blowing into that for me, please, sir?

Those things you said.

All of them were spot-on.

But I've had a think, and guess what?

It's not four o'clock yet, and there's still time.

Time for the best day of my life.

I'm so going to beat you!

So not! Come on, you.

We're still going abroad.

Perhaps.

But that's for another day, yeah?

I bet I could beat you both.

Sounds like fighting talk!

THEY CHEER

David! David!

My brother is a genius!

-What do you mean?

-Well, that radio broadcast set my phone buzzing.

People actually want to come.

So, we're going to raffle that cake of yours

and make some pennies for the next one.

Got ya!

No, I was, um, I was just...

Playing, what was it? "The world's most elitist game?"

Yeah, I still loathe it.

But you want to play.

No. It's a distraction.

For who? Me or you?

Well, for you, of course.

This is because of Zoe.

Wh-why are you telling me things that I know I'm already doing?

Where's the benefit in that?

Whatever. It's a nice thought.

Oh, and by the way...

..it's checkmate.

Oh, yeah. Well done.

Ooh, Mr H! They obviously told you, then?

"They"?

Yeah, who'd have thought Charlie, of all people?

Charlie Fairhead?

You got your wish.

I'm still breathing.

My dad could - and should - still be here.

But you're here instead.

Soon as I can move, I'm going and I'm not coming back.

-Your mum means that little to you?

-I'm trying to spare her.

Before you go, I want to hear one word.

-Your apology.

-I did five years!

Say the word, Sean.

Paid in ways you can't imagine!

Say it. Say you're sorry.

One stupid word? Seriously?!

I want my dad to hear it. I dunno what he'll make of it,

but maybe he'll be proud that I care this much.

So stop hiding.

Stop being a coward, pretending you don't care,

pretending it means nothing.

You can't run from it, Sean. It'll always be there.

So say it.

And I'll pass it on.

Mum?

Well?

I am so sorry.

HE SOBS

I am so, so sorry!

SOBBING CONTINUES

Maybe they're not just words on a blackboard.

Mum?

There's a bigger story here.

Yeah.

We need to hear it.

-Can't do that.

-Please, Charlie. Don't make me take this any further.

The thing is...

..I made a promise.

Now, to anyone else, that might not seem like much

but, for me, that's one of the most important things in my life,

and I can't compromise that.

Charlie, please. For goodness' sake!

Then I'm going to have to ask you to go off-duty with immediate effect.

We did it, David!

Yes, yes. There's a lot of people here.

All thanks to DJ Miller. Did I sound all right?

Lovely.

I think I've got a voice for it.

No, no, no - that one's for the raffle.

More incoming.

Hi, come on in. Come on in.

Hello, again.

Charlie, want to hear a happy ending?

-Not now, Mac.

-I built a bowling...

-Mac, just leave it!

-What's this?

-I have no idea.

Charlie?

Nothing to worry about. Just get back to work.

Why are you going?

I'm not the one you should be asking.

-Rita?

-We will explain, Louise.

-Charlie, what's going on?

-Mrs Beauchamp?

Connie, what's the problem?

I didn't want to say this,

but Sister Freeman has been given no option

but to put Senior Charge Nurse Fairhead on immediate Special Leave.

-Why?

-What do you mean, Special Leave?

- I can't go into details. - Sorry.

I don't want to make a fuss about this.

I just want to get out of here as fast as I can.

Excuse me.

Connie, I'm going to need more than this. What's going on?

You want more?

Your little friend decided to have a witch-hunt against Charlie.

That's why we're in this situation.

Now back to work, everyone. Now!

That includes you.

Come on.

Lovely to meet you. Hello. Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

SHE CHORTLES

You've got to be joking!

Hey, Rita? What's happened?

Someone's just slashed my tyres!

All right. Jez, finish up there, mate.

-I'm fine.

-Yeah, you look it(!)

No prizes for guessing who's done that.

Have you, um, have you got a number for a cab?

-Don't be daft. I'll get you home.

-I said I'm fine.

Rita, I said I'll get you home, all right? OK?

Sleep well.

Oh, I could use a drink.

Are you serious?

Not you too, Jacob?

That ship quiz.

You chucked the wrong person off. I thought I knew you.

You have...

You have no idea what I've done for this department.

It could've been a lot worse.

That's terrible.

Listen, about earlier. I didn't even ask why you were in the hospital.

Just finalising a few things.

My wife. She...

Well, six months ago she, erm...

Anyway, I was so taken by the care she received

I saved up and I made a donation.

That's what I was doing there today.

And you just don't like lifts?

I hate them.

I'm sorry I charged into you.

Nah, most men just sidle up.

I'm sure they do.

Anyway, is this helping?

This?

You know, I dunno.

I think so, but I'm not sure

if spending a couple of hours in the pub is going to...

Oh, there'll be more.

Oh, really?

Yeah, this is just the start.

-This is the first one.

-Oh.

I tell you what, why don't you give me your number

and...then I can text you and tell you when the next one is?

Yeah.

There you go.