Seconds Away Doctors

-CHERRY:

-I kept thinking about all the times we said it was wrong

to have a baby to save a marriage...

especially after what I did.

I'm so ashamed.

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.

Talk about baptism by fire, though, eh?

You shouldn't go thinking that is normal.

Don't worry about me.

I'm used to the occasional workplace fracas. Rather that, than be bored.

It does get you out of Howard Bellamy's "Practical Intercom for Beginners"...

which is a blessing.

"Tonight, Howard, I am going to be...publicly humiliated and ruin my life(!)"

-Everything all right?

-Yeah, fine.

-You?

-Absolutely.

Let me know when Daniel and Jimmi arrive.

-Heston in his room?

-Yes, he is.

Oops!

-KNOCKING ON DOOR

-Come in.

-I was wrong about the intercom.

-Indeed.

Gone. History.

Mm-hm?

-And Daniel and Jimmi?

-Neither of them are in yet.

-But when they are?

-It's my responsibility. I'll deal with it.

I live. I learn. I will deal with them both.

You know what you're doing? You appreciate what we're facing here?

Yes, they're both going to want to resign. I'll make sure that doesn't happen.

-Trust me. I know what I'm doing.

-You do?

-Absolutely.

-Are you sure?

-I am.

-Thank you, Howard, that's a weight off my mind.

Just doing my job.

I didn't expect to see you today. I'd have caved.

You think I should be ashamed?

-No.

-I still have patients.

Let me know if there's anything I can do.

-Let me get on with this while I still have to, OK?

-Of course.

I've let Howard know you're here.

I told him it didn't look like you'd been up all night...you know...

-You what?

-I'd have died. I'd have been that mortified.

-I couldn't have shown my face.

-Could you not?

-No!

I was embarrassed for you. I'd have been under the duvet all week.

I could not have put a brave face on that. I just couldn't.

-Could you schedule me an appointment with the practice manager, please?

-Certainly.

Oh, and you've got a full list. Busy morning for you!

It's your job to sort it. So sort it. Then when you get a time, phone through with that time.

Don't say anything else.

Mr Donaldson, please.

Ouch!

Armour plating on today, I think.

-Mrs White?

-Baptism of fire, eh?

-Dr Tyler, you made me jump.

-It'll calm down.

I am perfectly used to doctors and their little dramas, thank you.

-I'm sure you are.

-I've just got to get my head round the diary system.

Scream if you need me. Mr Frobisher. How are you?

-Jimmi about?

-Good morning, Dr Granger.

Dr Clay has just shown a patient through.

-And Howard?

-He's in the middle of a conference call at the moment. Sorry.

-I can't really say how long he'll be.

-Check his diary for later, I need to speak to him.

It's highlighting in blue... Why blue?

I've never had a system that highlighted in blue.

Maybe it's picking up on the mood of the building.

Maybe read the instructions?

I think I'll have to.

-I could just sort this out and then phone you through.

-Soon as you can.

-You've got a patient who's been waiting.

-Send them through.

Could you go through now, please?

Reception's heaving! Normally, I'd not ask,

but I think I'm building to a dehydration headache.

Would you like a cup of tea, Valerie?

Oh! Diary protocol's driving me mad.

It won't save, it's still highlighting...

I can't track amendments...

Valerie, I'll bring you one out.

-You sorted out my meeting?

-Nearly.

Looks like I'm tea monitor. Can I get you one?

Of course not!

-Because it's all my fault(!)

-He doesn't think that.

He thinks I was like,

"Yeah, Cherry, go and bunk up with Jimmi's best mate, that'll help(!)

"Ooh, and lie to him about coming off the pill."

It must have been horrible for both of them.

Do you not think I tried tough love?

D'you think she wanted to hear anything I had to say? Did she heck.

He's in a terrible place.

Yeah, well, I've lost my best mate, so...

-no-one's won.

-I know.

And now, Jimmi, who I actually really care about,

can't even bear to be in the same room as me.

Let's just get through the day and try and stay positive.

SHE SIGHS

Valerie, what time am I seeing Howard?

I haven't quite finalised that yet, Dr Granger.

I really need to see him.

Oh, bless you!

I'm an over-empathiser.

Leave it with me...

Soon as...promise.

Everything all right?

I never have a problem with schedule and co-ordination software.

-Not normally.

-And your problem today is..?

Appointments are fine but I have to arrange one meeting with you

and Dr Clay and one meeting with you and Dr Granger.

-That's difficult because...?

-Well, Dr Clay is a bubbling pit of fury

and Dr Granger looks like he might cry.

Valerie, surely you can handle simple timetabling? Today of all days.

But I've tried! There must be a firewall.

Amendments? Forget it.

Blue all over the shop and it won't save.

How am I supposed to arrange meetings if they won't save to your diary?

I think I may have locked it.

It didn't say that on screen. It should've said.

Next time you get IT problems, come and see me immediately.

Of course. I'll go and arrange your meetings.

I hope they're not too awful for you.

-Excuse me?

-It was a bit grim yesterday, wasn't it?

They're both such nice boys.

And Nurse Clay seemed nice...

Well, everybody's nice, which is why it's so, so sad.

You couldn't make it up, could you? I've brought some cake and biscuits.

Might help. I mean, all that intercom malarkey...

Valerie.

-The meetings.

-Yes, yes, course. I'll go and update your diary.

Actually, I'll pop them in on a post-it... No, yeah...

HE SIGHS

-My behaviour's been exemplary.

-First class.

So I want to make it clear that when I resign, I don't expect any financial penalties.

Why would I accept your resignation?

You're a vital member of the team.

What's left for me here now all my dirty linen's been washed in public?

Yes, I'm sorry about that.

It's OK, but I draw the line at working with Granger.

-Everyone knows he slept with my wife.

-Well, you won't have to.

I beg your pardon?

Do you seriously believe I would accept your resignation over Daniel's?

-Daniel's resigned?

-Yes.

To be honest, the fact that Daniel is a partner

and you're not has never made any sense to me.

-He'll work his notice. One month.

-He's resigned?!

So there's no more seeing him on a daily basis.

You've got a future here, Jimmi.

Like I said, you're a vital member of the team.

Thanks for that.

-No worries.

-How's Cherry?

-Gone already.

-No way!

-Yes, way.

You think she should've stayed?

I don't know, what else could she do?

Not dropped them for Daniel?

"Dropped"? Pulled down, more like.

It takes two to tango.

-Cherry betrayed Jimmi...

-And Daniel betrayed his best mate.

The last thing we should be doing now is taking sides.

-You don't fancy taking sides?

-Of course, I feel like taking sides.

-But...

-But we should stay professional?

With bells on.

Even-handed professionalism and respect.

-We're strictly on the fence?

-Uh-huh.

May many splinters pierce our bums.

HE LAUGHS

This is not a hasty decision.

I've been repenting a lot lately. It's what I have to do, so please take it.

Daniel, take a seat.

This isn't me being all noble and throwing myself on the sword,

by the way.

Isn't it? A letter of resignation? Very noble(!)

I'm exhausted, Howard.

I can't take any more guilt.

I shouldn't be here. So, please...

I need to say a few things.

I know you've been having a tough time recently. You've been through a lot.

Possibly a reason...not an excuse.

You're too good a doctor to lose over a personal incident.

OK. Fine, so lose me over missing a symptom,

or not being focused, anything.

I prefer to take the long-term, holistic approach.

This practice needs the right mix of the right people.

OK, I'll leave. You keep the right people.

That's very self-deprecating and humble.

And also bull!

Who's going to want to work with me, after what I did?

Water. Bridges. Give it time.

Oh. Give Jimmi time to forget that his best mate...(!)

He's not going to forget.

This practice needs flair and exuberance.

Exactly the type of thing that you bring to the table.

You're so much more than bedside manner and some diagnostic skills.

Please, Howard. I'm trying to fix this.

I've already accepted one resignation today.

I'm not going to accept yours.

-What? Jimmi's resigned?!

-Yeah.

Got in there first.

Actually, I'm quite relieved the way it's played out.

I know which one of you I WOULDN'T relish trying to replace.

Jimmi's resigned?

Buying in drones is easy. Replacing partners, not so easy.

Can't believe it.

Look, I don't mean to be... but he's hardly...

You know what I mean.

Look, Jimmi's done nothing wrong.

I am the one that messed up here.

If you went, the financial ramifications alone would be a total nightmare!

Maybe, in the short term.

Look...

..it may not be my place to say this...

but how could Zara not interpret you resigning as cutting your ties to her too?

Think about it.

I'm sick and tired of thinking.

Ah, there he is. All but for the white horse and you'd be perfect!

White horse? Knight on a...?

I'm at a loose end.

I need someone to have lunch with me. And you're it.

No, I'm probably not.

Of course you are. And what about you?

You could both do with a change of scene, couldn't you?

The Icon's not busy.

I don't think that...

Elephant in the room?

Jimmi, you know I think you're being a star but...really.

Mandy?

None of this is actually her fault, is it?

It's not her fault, is it?

No. Didn't think so.

Right, come on. Let's be civilised.

-No need to worry about bumping into Daniel.

-Where is Daniel?

Yoghurt and a packet of crisps.

-He's hiding out, having lunch in his room.

-So he should.

Come on...please?

Lemonades are on me.

Make it an orange juice and you're on.

Good. Come on.

"Crinkle-cut and low-fat cherry." What is that?

-Some saddo statement yoghurt? Dairy-based pun?

-Kevin!

-What?

The man's got a cherry yoghurt. Freudian slip, much.

Come out with us, have lunch.

Don't be one of those guys who hides in his room

and skulks in the shadows.

-You ought to get out. Come with us.

-I'm not skulking.

I'm not taking sides but from where I'm sitting,

you're the one who needs his mates.

I want to have lunch in my room.

-Jimmi won't be at the Icon, if that's what you're worrying about.

-I'm fine.

You'd be fine having lunch out with us and not beating yourself up!

-Look, I don't know the ins and outs...

-No, you don't.

..but you only had to listen to yesterday's broadcast to know that you weren't to blame.

Their biggest issue? Not you. Bit of a minor character, really.

Please, at least let me try to be diplomatic.

You shouldn't worry about people judging you.

-That's easy for you to say.

-People will judge you no matter what you do.

In my experience, you're better powering through.

You're not better calling that "lunch" and skulking in your room.

Yeah, OK, we're not doing 101 Agony Aunt,

we're doing "get it together and don't be pathetic". Come on, mate.

Come out for lunch?

-I wasn't skulking.

-All right!

-Is "skulking" even a real word?

-Thanks for this. I can't believe how much I needed it.

-It's our pleasure.

-Still can't believe Daniel's doing the honourable thing.

-What's that?

-Resigning.

-Daniel is?!

That'll be a nightmare for Howard, practically speaking...

-but if it means you're staying, Jimmi...

-More likely, I'm staying.

Mate... Sorry, I didn't...

-We have to stop meeting like this.

-You think this is funny?

-No, I don't. Look, I heard...

Everyone heard. I had fewer bloody listeners when I did the radio show! Get out my face!

-OK, I'm going.

-Good.

-I'll find somewhere else.

Oh, is that Daniel Granger doing the right thing... or a pig flying over the bar(?)

Can't we talk?

No, we can't. Unbelievable!

I'll get some drinks, shall I?

It's a series of management books, HR stuff. Richard Head -

have you read them?

I must have missed that one.

It's all going according to plan.

Good, you have a plan(!)

Essentially, at close of play yesterday

we stood to lose a further two irreplaceable members of staff.

In such circumstances, Richard Head advocates radical manipulation.

As I say, it's not on my bookshelf.

It's a risky strategy but...

..we have two doctors, both threatening to go.

Both able to stay if the other one goes.

But we can't lose both.

-So...?

-So, we tell them the thing they most want to hear.

Which is?

I've led Jimmi to believe that he's vital and Daniel's resigning...

and Daniel thinks he's indispensable and Jimmi's working his notice.

Richard Head - human resources genius.

Is that your management plan? Get a grip, man!

Yes, we might lose one.

-We could buy ourselves enough time to salvage the situation and keep both!

-Rot.

If the gamble pays off, we keep Daniel and Jimmi.

At the moment, deep down, they both want to stay.

What if they both find out they've been lied to and they both leave?

Have you put money on that?

Do you remember when crisps weren't a garnish?

Ha! I remember when salt and vinegar was an interesting combination!

THEY LAUGH

What is your least favourite flavour?

-Lamb and mint sauce.

-No, d'you know what?

He does NOT get to play the martyr.

Jimmi!

A lie...is a lie.

I've bought the time we need for it to blow over.

What kind of idiot are you?!

Daniel slept with Jimmi's wife,

who broadcast, over your magnificently destructive

intercom system, that she was lying to him about conceiving their child.

This is not going to blow over.

-It looks bad now, but trust me...

-To do what?

Completely destroy everything we've built up here?

I may as well hand in MY resignation!

Come on, be fair.

Give it a chance.

Ooh, Dr Granger, I thought you were all at that bar for lunch.

Are you hungry? This is one of my tray bakes.

That's flapjack and millionaire's shortbread.

I've got fruit cake there and your shop-bought cookies.

-What?

-It's just me.

"Mrs Homebaking." Mary Berry meets St Francis.

My motto?

-"Where there is discord, let me bring cake."

-OK, there, Roger Bannister(!)

Everything's better with a nice, plump cherry.

You what?!

-Daniel...

-On the top.

Of course, cherries aren't that bright red colour any more.

They're that mucky, yucky...brown.

But at least the kids aren't climbing the walls any more.

Those old cherries should've come with a health and safety warning...

I meant chocolate buttons.

You're supposed to be insightful, efficient, a man manager.

-If we keep them apart, it will work.

-Oh, well, that's all right, then(!)

Anybody like a flapjack?

Everywhere I turn, every time I look,

there you are with your smug face.

I'm sorry, all right?

-Only because you got caught.

-I know what it's like to feel bereft. I'm living it...

-This is not about you!

-Guys, guys, come on.

-Have a coffee. It's decaf!

-Once a whore, always a whore.

-Oh, dear.

-Why don't we just take a moment...?

No, don't stop him.

-Go on, Jim, do something about it.

-You make me sick!

Do something about it! If I were you, I'd punch me!

Yeah, well, I'm not you.

No, he's not anything like you... PLATE SMASHES

THEY SCREAM

-Better?

-Yeah!

SHE SCREAMS

Ah, poor Daniel... you're bleeding.

You know what, mate? I am so glad Zara took Joe off you.

If she hadn't, Social Services would've.

Who'd trust you with kids?

You should never have kids. You're not fit to be a father!

With respect, I think you're utterly blowing this out of proportion!

SCREAMING

-Three-second rule! Three-second rule!

-Leave it!

Three-second rule.

-Oi!

-Leave it!

Stop it, both of you!

-Break it up! Break it up!

-Sit there!

-My nose!

-Check his nose, see if it's broken.

Is it?

-Ow!

-This is OUTRAGEOUS!

-This WILL be sorted!

-I never wanted him to resign!

-I'm not resigning, you are!

-What?!

I was going to...

It was me, wasn't it(?) I was the one that did... Hang on a second, wait...that was you!

Right. You two - my room.

-You said...

-You said he...

-Because we wanted neither of you to leave.

-So you lied?

-Gentlemen, please! No more managerial subterfuge.

Let's sort this out, in my room, properly.

And not you.

In we go.

I don't condone violence.

Neither can I cast the first stone.

Sit...here.

-I don't want to go.

-I don't want to go.

Neither of you has had his resignation accepted.

-Howard told me Jimmi had resigned.

-He said...

He was misguided, with the best possible intentions.

We don't want either of you to go,

-but there'll be no easy way through this.

-Easier for some...

IF...we can get through it at all.

Some people create destruction, but they always survive.

What do we need here?

Time.

-You both need some breathing space.

-I breathe just fine.

Yeah, well, I don't.

Zara had to take Joe away.

-So?

-Because I shook him, Jim. I shook Joe.

That's why they're gone.

You don't win! You don't have the most pain.

-I'm not competing.

-I stood by you.

I would have stood by you through anything,

but you slept with my wife!

I don't understand.

I'm not over it and I don't care how you were feeling. I will never forgive you!

Are you talking to anyone?

Yes, I'm seeing a therapist.

-He says I should spend more time with Isobel.

-Risky.

Stop!

Jimmi...

I'll speak to Lisa, see if I can take Isobel to see my mum.

If I wasn't here, if you didn't have to see me for a while...

Not seeing you sounds good.

Jimmi, if you'd like to have some time...

He's got PND, I've got patients.

All I need is him out my face.

-I'll go for a couple of weeks.

-Make it a month.

Daniel...you're a partner...

I need you to start behaving like one...

so get yourself sorted.

I'm trying.

There's no need to check up on me.

Somebody's got to be on your side.

Please, sir, can that be me?

You always chose the wrong team.

That's rubbish!

You're just having a bad day at the office.

Oh, yeah(?) Like the day I messed up with Elaine,

or yesterday with Cherry(?)

Even if the all-knowing Heston can sort out the GP situation,

the nurse scenario is still messed up.

You'll find a replacement for Cherry. You thrive under pressure.

You solve problems, that's what you do.

Can you tell me why suddenly I can't do anything right?

You'll find a new Cherry before the old one's even been missed.

How?! Agencies, references, interviews - it all takes time!

Well, maybe... No...

-"Maybe" what?

-No, you'll think it's inappropriate, anyway.

What?

Chris.

Chris?

Your son, Chris?

He's not long qualified.

No, normally...

"Normality"?! There's not much normal around here today.

No.

Look, Chris is a good nurse...

and a team player.

And I reckon you need people on your team.

We could put him on a short-term contract.

If the partners didn't like him, we just don't renew.

Big problem solved.

Which, by the way, you could do nothing to prevent.

Between you and me, Cherry Clay was a manipulative little mare.

And how are you, my dear?

Nobody's touched my tray bake.

-Fruit cake's ruined.

-I will sample your flapjack before you leave.

-It's very thoughtful of you. Is Howard still in his office?

-Yes.

Any of the others gone home yet?

No. SHE LAUGHS

Still time for it all to kick off again.

It's all fine, I've dealt with everything.

-Wednesday, then?

-Perfect.

Get him to call me tomorrow, sort out the details.

-KNOCK ON DOOR

-What's happening?

Oh, just a bit of... problem solving.

Thanks for that.

Have a nice evening.

What was that?

In-house solution.

About what, exactly?

No agency fees, no messing about. Emma's son's a nurse.

Recently qualified. Starts Wednesday.

On a permanent contract?

No!

Short-term. Review-friendly. I'm not a complete idiot.

-Are you sure about that?

-Excuse me?

Do you want me to spell it out for you?

Heston, we have differing styles,

but I do have a proven record in management.

So, if Emma's recently qualified son turns out to be a complete nightmare,

-I'll just step in and sort it out(?)

-He won't.

-How d'you know?

-Can we act like we're playing for the same team here?

I'm sure you are eminently qualified to be a practice manager.

But, from now on...

I want all and every decision run by me

before you sign anything.

-Is that all(?)

-Daniel is going on extended leave,

and I do not want you appointing someone else.

And I do not want you "Richard Head-ing it"

around any of the other doctors.

-Fine!

-As sole partner in situ,

I cannot contend with your loose-cannon antics.

-Fine!

-As I said...

every decision!

DOOR SLAMS

(Fine.)

HE SIGHS

Do you really think I'd apply for a job where you work?

Hi, there.

Thought you'd not been here before?

He was just being friendly.

We've been looking forward to meeting you.

-Have you?

-Absolutely. Please take a seat, take a seat.

Forget about that room, it doesn't exist, do you hear?

I can't.

Mr Unwin?

Can you hear me?

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