Cheer Up Sleepy Genes Doctors

Ellie! Breakfast!

I'll give you a call if we hear anything.

All right, bye, love.

We won't, Mum. He said early next week.

Yes, but I thought I might just give the surgery a ring this afternoon.

Just in case. You never know.

Look, Mum, I'm really not that hungry.

I know what you mean. I feel sick myself.

My stomach's churning, I can't stop going to the loo.

I was up five times in the night.

What if it comes back positive?

It doesn't bear thinking about.

No, no - it's even more important you keep your strength up

while we wait.

No problem, I'll tell him. No, you take care of yourself.

Good morning, I'm Chris Reid.

Oh, yes, of course! You're Emma's son, aren't you?

I'm the new nurse.

Yes, exactly!

Your mum and I were at the PCT together for a while.

She probably mentioned me - Valerie?

She used to drop me off at the station on her way home?

Yeah.

Although we never met,

so don't worry that you didn't recognise me!

Nice to meet you now!

I can see your mum in you.

Right.

Deep down, I wanted an excuse to see him again.

What if he feels the same?

Do you reckon that's likely?

Should I call him, do you think?

What would you do?

You must be Chris! Hi, I'm Kevin.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Jas, good to see you. Emma's son, right?

Any son of Emma's is a friend of mine.

Heston Carter,

delighted to meet such a promising young runner from a top notch stable.

Though you have a lot of ground to make up to catch up with your mother.

Too right. She's showing us all up.

Emma is charming, talented and witty.

You should try living with her.

Chris, Howard Bellamy, practice manager.

Come on, let me show you the ropes.

I used to work with your mum at PCT...

Internet dating?

No, this is who I am. My roots.

I got into it because of that programme.

Do you watch it?

Sometimes it looks like they're not going to find anything,

and then there's always tears at the end

where it turns out they're related to someone.

Usually who ended up in a gas chamber.

Yeah, amazing.

I've found out loads already. Look, some of my family emigrated

-from Ireland to New York around the time of the Titanic.

-Wow!

-Like the film!

Imagine if they'd been on that boat?

They might have had their own romantic stories.

You'll have to tell Kate Winslet you want that flaming necklace back.

Here's something right up to date.

I got in touch with this lady via the site a few weeks ago.

We just exchanged some genealogical information,

like you do, but look - she's from the Letherbridge side of the family.

And I wondered if she was still in the area.

So, cut a long story short, I found this photograph of Dad

and her grandmother, cos they were cousins, you see,

and I promised to send it to her. And last night she sent me her address.

And you'll never guess.

Don't tell me, she's still in the area.

Yes! I'm going to take it round.

You can have your own tearful little reunion without a film crew

to trip over, eh?

And here's your new colleague, Nurse Marquez. This is Chris.

-Pleased to meet you.

-Pleased to meet you.

-You're Emma's son, right?

-Yeah.

Time for a quick orientation before we fling wide the doors to

the Great Unwashed.

Want to come with me?

-Howard, we're a man down. Dr Clay just phoned in sick.

-Ah.

I've re-allocated his appointments, I think we'll be fine.

Good work. I suppose it's for the best.

That's what I thought. Poor lamb.

Right, bandages, dressings, swabs, alco wipes,

hand sanitizer, disposable gloves.

-Are you getting all this, cos there's going to be a test at the end?

-Yeah.

-Needles, speculums.

What's that? What's that, Mr Auriscope?

Yes, he is a bit miserable, isn't he? Maybe he'll cheer up.

-You're very welcome, it's what I'm here for.

-Thank you.

-Bye-bye.

Oh! Salt and vinegar?

Eh?

For that chip on your shoulder.

At last. Look,

are you going to be this much hard work all the time

-or can we actually have a laugh?

-I'm sorry.

I just hate that everyone thinks I got the job cos of her.

So? You probably did.

Look, we've all got our crosses to bear, and to be quite honest,

having a doctor as your mum doesn't even make it onto the scale.

Look, some of my best friends are doctors and you'll find they're all human beings.

Not my mother. Beware the Stepford GPs.

Forget it. Look, get stuck in here.

Make some friends, get your feet under the table,

and before you know it they'll be calling her Chris's mum.

I like the sound of that.

-You've got a little something...just behind...

-Hey!

Do you like that?

-Morning, squire.

-You look rank.

I might have to phone in sick.

You already did, petal.

I did?

"I'm so sorry. I don't want to let anybody down.

"I just don't think I can face it today."

-That's doesn't sound anything like me.

-Me-me-me-me-me.

Ah, ah, no tidying, for the sake of your mental stability.

Don't push it.

I'm deadly serious.

It's a vital part of your rehabilitation, cold turkey.

Now on to more serious matters.

I have a packed agenda lined up - video games, pizza delivery.

I've written a list, look, colour-coded.

I know you like everything immaculately ordered.

-You not going to heat them up?

-Nah.

Let the festivities commence.

Mmm!

Oh, hello.

You don't actually know me, but... Oh, I should prove who I am!

You never know who you're dealing with this days!

My name is Valerie...

You're from the Mill?

Erm, yes, but...

Oh, how wonderful. Thank you so much.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

And sooner than I could have dared to expect.

You don't normally deliver test results in person, do you?

Oh, no, does that mean it's bad news?

No, it would have to be a doctor for that.

They're trained, aren't they, to break it to you gently?

So, I suppose you've come in person

because you know how incredibly important it is to us.

I don't have your results.

We've still got to wait? Oh, poor Ellie.

The suspense is unbearable.

She's not saying anything, but I know she feels the same.

Having something like that literally hanging over you,

knowing it could be the end of everything.

Worst of all, it's genetic.

You can trace it right through my side of the family.

Imagine the guilt I feel!

I'll never forgive myself if I've passed it to my daughter.

Well, I'll certainly chase that up for you.

If you would, thank you. It would be such a relief.

You know, the sooner we know, the better we can come to terms with it

and somehow start to rebuild our lives.

Well, see you soon!

Why are all beach volleyball players blonde?

Cute, blonde, giggly.

That's just it, Jimbo, there's so many blondes out there, that's why.

A whole world full of blondes,

and you, my son, are free to graze at will.

Brunettes... Gingers...

That kind of aubergine-y tint some of them go for.

How are you, anyway? You haven't said.

Oh, you know, same as it ever was.

Work?

Let's not get heavy, mate! Time for some music.

Really? Ah.

-So as I was saying...

-Jas...

Dr Tyler, I wondered if you could help me a moment?

Of course, glad to.

No problem, I'll catch you later.

I've got to know what you're testing Ellie Benedict for.

I know it's something really important, and genetic,

and I'm related to her!

This could literally affect my whole future.

I have a right to know what I might be facing.

What on earth is OI?

I'm sorry, Valerie. Patient confidentiality.

I'm allowed to know some things about the patients.

It's part of my job, I've had training.

Howard was very hot on data protection at the PCT.

Even so, you're putting me in a very difficult position.

It's a sensitive case, that's all I can say.

I don't want to know if Ellie Benedict has got it,

I just want to know what it is.

I mean, OI must be really serious, if it's got a whole family worried sick.

And this is my family!

My hands are tied, I've said too much already.

You know how it is, I could tell you but I'd have to kill you.

If the condition doesn't get you first.

# And you may tell yourself

# This is not my beautiful house

# And you may tell yourself

# That is not my beautiful wife

# Letting the days go by Letting the... #

-Come on, get with the programme!

-# The days go by... #

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

At last, an honorary bloke.

-Oi, watch it.

-Icon?

Yeah. Hey, Jas, you want to come for lunch?

Sure, I'll get my coat.

Oh, Valerie...

how's it going with the long-lost family?

You know, Valerie's got her own version of Who Do You Think You Are.

What Do You Think You've Got, more like.

Excuse me, I just need some time to think.

Is this one allowed?

Oh, yeah. Big time.

Please, mate, you'll be doing me a favour.

-What is going on?

-I don't get it.

I try to give off this vibe of sarcastic git with an empathy bypass.

That's what I get from you.

I picked it up straight away.

So how come all these women are off-loading their problems on me?

If I cared about people, I'd have become a hairdresser.

I wouldn't work with my mother.

We even argue over who's washing and who's drying.

That's why I bought mine a dishwasher.

Oh, get you.

But Emma's great. It'll be easy for you. Don't you think?

Once I get past that disappointed smile.

What? She should be proud of you.

Following in her footsteps.

Diverting down a B road more like.

See, academically they're really clever, my parents, right.

And I just think my mum can't work out where it all went wrong with me.

Oh, come on, you're hardly dim, are you?

Thanks. Seriously, I love being a nurse, I really do.

I just think she'll never get over the let-down.

Charming.

When I broke it to her what I wanted to train for, she said it's

"a job associated with females and

"more of a vocation than a profession."

Like that's a bad thing!

It is to her.

Patronising or what?

From the way she talked, you'd think I was going to be a lap dancer.

You'd get more money if you did.

Oh, and just one other thing. What's the progress on Ellie Benedict?

Yes, any chance of rushing them through?

Dr Tyler says it is very urgent.

Yes, let me know. Goodbye.

Yeah, I think she's great.

Yeah, but not too great.

It's my duty to tell you, bloke to bloke,

that that particular piece of crumpet is, well...

buttered on the other side.

Oh! OK, cool.

OK, you don't seem that bothered?

It makes things less complicated, doesn't it?

You can just relax and be mates, now.

Yeah, I love just being mates with women.

No chance of sex, what a relief.

What are you talking about?

-I was saying how nice it is here.

-Ah.

-Yeah.

Ellie, the results are through!

Seriously?

I knew they'd give us special treatment.

That receptionist could see what the waiting was doing to me.

I was literally in pieces.

Just think, a little while longer and we'll know.

I'll know, Mum. It's my life we're talking about, yeah?

Yes, of course. I'm only here to support you.

You're so brave, I've always said that.

But you've no idea what it's been doing to me and your dad.

He can't even bear me bringing the subject up anymore.

So best not to, then, yeah? Just for the time being.

Absolutely. I wouldn't dream of interfering.

We'll deal with it however you want. You call the shots.

I'll let school know you won't be coming back again today,

and I'll just warm up what you left from lunch.

Mum, I'm really not hungry.

You need to keep your strength up.

Oh, Dr Tyler.

The results for the Benedicts are in from St Phil's,

so I've booked them an appointment with you.

That's quick.

Is it?

Cherry always used to eat my pineapple.

-I can help you there.

-HE LAUGHS

It's not quite the same though, is it, mate?

Let her go.

There was something missing in that relationship from the start.

Oh, yeah, right. Why didn't you say, then?

None of my business, mate. You seemed happy enough.

I think...on some level I always knew it wasn't right.

It was always more about Cherry than us.

So!

Time for another game.

It's so good of you to fast-track us.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

I know you saw our lives were literally on hold,

waiting to find out, but even so, I didn't expect this.

No need to thank me.

Oh, but you don't know the half of it, doctor.

If you knew how Ellie's worked.

Ever since she was little, haven't you, love?

She's had her life planned out, reading up and studying,

even in the holidays.

The fitness regime, the nutrition.

And I've supported her, every step of the way.

It would be too cruel if the future I've looked forward to is

snatched away in the prime of her youth, poor lamb.

She deserves the chance to live the life she's only dreamed of.

I don't know how I'll bear up under it, if...

I'm sorry, I can't bear to think of it.

Which is why we're so grateful you're going to tell us

the results now, Dr Tyler.

Yes, let's cut to the chase.

ELLIE'S MUM SOBS

Oh, no!

Bad news? I'm so, so sorry.

No, you'll never guess. It's clear!

She's absolutely clear of it.

It's a mercy modern technology can get to the bottom of things.

In the olden days I'd have been left hanging on, always wondering.

Clear? This is wonderful news! You must be so relieved.

You must feel like your whole life has turned around.

Oh, you wouldn't believe.

It's literally like a great weight has been lifted

and I can breathe again.

I didn't dare hope, though I tried not to let her see how scared I was.

I'm sure. You must have been terrified.

I can't imagine.

At any time that could have been it. Game over.

But now I can look to the future again,

and not get a lump in my throat.

Oh, this is fantastic news.

Why don't we go and sit down somewhere more private.

And Ellie...you must be emotionally drained, poor lamb.

-Thank you.

-You're welcome.

So, is it really bad? Have a seat.

This condition that you've been so worried about.

What is it, exactly?

Orthostatic Intolerance. I'm a sufferer myself.

Valerie's found her long-lost twin, never mind distant relatives.

Give them another five minutes and they'll probably figure out

they both got a right nipple the shape of a fruit bat.

-You are so mean.

-I'm telling you, it's Panickers Reunited.

My Big Fat Needy Health Scare.

Hypochondria and massive overreactions must be genetic, too.

I thought you might just be a carrier.

Oh, no, I've definitely got it.

I get very dizzy when I stand up quickly.

Really? I get that myself, sometimes too.

And I can feel quite sick.

Right. And what's the more serious side of it?

Well, at worst it can cause momentary blurred vision,

or palpitations.

I've even fainted occasionally.

Momentary blurred visions?

That must be quite disorientating.

OI, it's a sudden loss of blood pressure when standing,

often caused by a blip in the involuntary nervous system.

Most people who have it don't even know,

but it can be serious for astronauts after returning from zero gravity.

And that's it, you see!

It's been Ellie's dream since she was little to go into space.

But the medical to be an astronaut is unbelievably tough,

I can't tell you.

We saw all the paperwork. Well, they screen for everything.

So Ellie just had to know.

An astronaut?

But now she's got the clear run.

It's nothing short of a miracle!

It's still a long, long slog and very little chance at the end of it.

The odds are stacked just because of the sheer number of people who apply.

And they hardly ever recruit, I've always known that.

But at least this means that that tiny little chance is still there.

Oh, you're so brave. The idea of it!

I mean, space.

That's about as far away from home and safety

and everyone you know as it's possible to get!

This is brilliant news. I'm so happy for you,

especially as I'm now part of your story!

I'm not sure I follow you.

It's me, Valerie! We were in contact via that website.

You know, the genealogy.

Oh, that.

Auntie Paula gave me membership as a present,

because of that programme I like.

I thought I better try it before it expired.

I'm the one with the photo.

That's why I came round this morning, actually.

Because, I've had you a copy made.

Look, that's your grandmother, Vera Mabel Gardiner, nee Pitman.

Look, Ellie, that's your great-grandmother!

And that's my father, Alan Pitman.

This is the original. See, Dad wrote on the back.

"At Blackpool with Cousin Vi."

It's a mercy he took the trouble or we'd never have known.

That's really thoughtful of you. Thank you.

No, it's a pleasure.

I'm just so thrilled we've found each other after all this time!

It's perfect, I can't tell you.

I don't really have anyone anymore, you see,

so to have found my family, and on such a memorable day!

I'm so proud of Ellie.

And I'm looking forward to finding out more and more about you,

as we get to know each other.

That sounds lovely.

You should come round for drinks and nibbles. Or Sunday lunch.

I'll do a roast. Just let me know when you're free.

OK. Well, it's been lovely to meet you.

We'd better let my husband know Ellie's news.

We'll be in touch!

Cherry's face is an earwig's face.

Cherry's face is an ex's face.

Cherry's face is an ewok's face.

Right then, F. And say it like you mean it.

Cherry's face is a fungal face.

Cherry's face is a flatulent face.

Cherry's face is a fickle face.

-Cherry's face is a faithless face.

-Faithless face. F-F-F-F-F...

Surely I brought more than that?

-Ahhhh!

-They'll do.

You're not washing them! You are not washing them.

JIMMI LAUGHS

Hey!

G..

How's it going?

It's fine.

You getting on with Mandy?

Yeah.

Good, I'm glad.

Oi, you. A word. Rushing results through?

Oh, they just turned up.

And I'm the secret love child of Kermit the Frog and Lady Gaga.

Don't do it again. You could have got the sack.

Well, then don't wind me up. I thought I might be dying!

Dizziness? Occasional blurred vision?

Why didn't you tell me it was nothing?

Where's the fun in that?

Chris is settling in well.

Yes, it's wonderful, getting his own friends.

Friends and family, it's almost the same thing, isn't it, when it works well?

Course, you're used to it,

but it must be amazing if your family are like your best friends,

and your best friends are literally almost family.

Like you, being Chris's workmate as well as being his mum.

Yes.

Like it was at the PCT.

I've just found some of my own family.

I can't wait to get to know them.

The mother's a bit full-on. Not like me at all, really.

But still, it's family.

-You can get through anything if you have that.

-Right.

Cherry's face is a strumpet's face.

Cherry's face is a slutty face.

Cherry's face is a slaggish face.

HE GROANS

What am I doing?

Having fun.

I don't want to do this.

End up...eaten with bitterness.

This kind of inane avoidance never helped anyone.

It has to be faced up to.

You know?

OK, I loved her, fine.

I was betrayed, fine... The pain will never go away,

unless I face it head-on.

-Oh!

-Ta-da! You can't get rid of me today.

No, I just realised, I didn't get your mobile number.

What am I like?

Shall I serve the spaghetti?

Give it a couple more minutes, love.

Are you having your tea?

Yes. Bit of a celebration for Ellie.

Well, that's why I...

Look, I'm sorry. We're very busy people.

And we do have a lot of family already.

Too many, to be honest.

You should see us at Christmas. Wall-to-wall parties.

When everyone gets together it's like a mad house.

Sounds fun.

But it's been nice to meet you.

Right. I understand. I'm very busy myself, actually.

In fact, I should probably get going.

You know, things to do.

Well, all the best.

Bye.

She was a bit full-on.

Who was it?

That woman from the surgery. Don't worry, I got rid.

Poor Ellie, you could do without someone

going on about herself on your important day.

-Bit of squash for you, dad.

-Here we go. Hope you're hungry. It's your favourite.

You know, I've worked with a lot of father/son doctor teams,

but this is my first mother/son.

Except I'm not a doctor.

That cut looks rather nasty.

Would you mind telling me how you got it?

He won't let me touch him anymore.

What do you want to talk about?

Women are weird.

Father O'Brien specialises in these matters.

It's just a run of the mill prescription.

-Hand it over, will you?

-No, I won't.

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