Faking It Doctors

So, is everybody clear what we're doing?

We've been through it enough times.

Well, if it's OK with you, Terry, we'll go through it again.

Lyn and I were thinking that...

-Lyn?

-Um, boss, when we're at work.

Sorry. I was just trying to get in the habit.

Andrei approached the previous couple

after the adoption meeting when they went to a cafe over the road.

Me and Hollins pose as a couple and we do the same.

I don't expect Andrei to be at the meeting himself, he's too clever for that, but...

he'll probably have someone there, checking everybody out,

helping him choose his next victim.

We've got to make sure that they pick us. So we have to be the most desperate couple in the room.

HE SNIGGERS

We're the bait.

If he bites, Terry, you and Lucy follow him.

If this goes according to plan, we'll find out

where he's operating from, where he's keeping the children.

Kick-off's at seven, so we're at the church hall at 6.45.

Any questions?

Look who I found lurking in reception.

-I wasn't lurking.

-Aran. What are you doing here?

-Well, I was trying to call you and...

-Aran, you all right, mate?

-Yeah, I'm good.

-Really nice to see you. Do you want a cup of tea?

Let's go to my room.

-Of course. You two love birds want to be alone together.

-Yeah...

Excuse us.

It's so romantic.

Love birds?!

Chris!

Listen, what are you doing tonight?

-I don't know. Just going home, I think.

-Want to go for a drink?

Um. Do you know what? I think I am doing something.

I need to check my diary at home then I'll give you a call, yeah?

OK. No pressure.

Would you like to go out this evening?

-For drinks, dinner, whatever.

-Well...

Jas, we don't have to do this.

How do you mean?

We don't have to do any of this if you don't want to.

No.

Why do you think that?

Of course I want to spend time with you.

I wasn't putting you off yesterday. Honestly. I just...

I was busy all day and then Kevin had planned to cook

and I couldn't really get out of it.

I'm finished here anyway. Let's go out, spend some time together.

Yeah. Sounds good to me.

-Evening. You must be Lyn and Robert.

-Oh, thanks.

Have some light reading.

-I know it's a lot to take in.

-It's all right. We're used to it.

-We've been round all the adoption agencies.

-We'll grab a coffee.

Talk to some of the other couples. That's partly what

the evening's about. Networking, sharing experiences.

I'm the oldest. I helped to raise

six of my younger brothers and sisters.

TELEPHONE RINGS

Hello?

No. No, Freya Wilson doesn't live here any more.

TELEPHONE RINGS

Look. Whatever you're selling, I'm not interested, yeah?

Mandy?

Chris.

Hiya.

You were going to ring me?

Yeah. Listen, about tonight...

I don't really fancy it. It's pouring down with rain, I'm tired.

Come on. I'm meeting my old mate Lara from nursing college.

'She's brilliant, mate. You'll get on with her.'

I can't. Um...

I'm in the middle of knitting a jumper.

Sounds thrilling.

It's important. I'm doing it for my dad.

I need to get it ready. It's for Christmas.

Well, bring your knitting with you. Look, we're going to the Icon.

'Come on. It'll be fun.'

I should...

One drink. Then I'm going home.

When you see the conditions these children grow up in

and the way some parents treat their children,

they're so lucky to have them. How dare they mistreat them like that?

It really upsets me, you know what I mean?

-How's it going?

-Oh, fine. I think.

-I'm worried about the boss.

-Why?

-Look at her.

She's a loose cannon. She's overdoing it.

-Should I have a word?

-Someone needs to.

Hey. Shall we get a coffee, love?

Lyn, love.

Don't you think you're being a bit full-on?

I know what I'm doing, Rob.

OK, everyone.

If you'd like to take a seat, Graham and I will get started.

If you're adopting a child today,

you almost certainly won't get a beautiful newborn baby

with no history, no baggage.

You're likely to get a child,

or a teenager,

who's had a very difficult start in life

and may not have had the best parenting.

The result is...

they can have some very challenging behaviour.

Hiya.

Hey! You made it. This is Mandy who I work with.

-This is Lara who I trained with.

-Hiya, babe. Chris has been telling me all about you.

Um, good.

-Lara's at a conference in Birmingham.

-So I thought I'd give Chris a ring and go out on the town.

Anyway. It's my round. That barmaid's been giving me the eye.

I reckon I can get us some free drinks. Bottle?

-You are such a tart.

-Takes one to know one, dear.

Sorry the food's taking so long.

It's not your fault.

Anyway, we've got all evening.

Yeah.

How was your day? How's work?

Finally.

-Is it OK?

-It's not what I ordered.

-I'm going to go and have a word with him.

-No, leave it, Aran. Honestly. It doesn't matter.

This'll be fine.

Yes?

I wanted to ask...

What if one of you has a criminal record?

You really didn't have to mention it in front of everybody.

They might as well know now.

It depends on the circumstances.

And on the crime.

Well, er, it wasn't Lyn. It was me.

She didn't do anything.

It wasn't a violent crime, was it? But I did go to prison.

He's served his time.

I know he's a great dad.

We've got so much love to give a child.

I have to be honest with you.

A criminal record could present problems.

That's a no then.

The best thing to do is be open and honest,

disclose it as part of your assessment process. Look...

One of us will talk to you about it afterwards.

What's the point?

You're going to turn us down, just like everybody else.

-Come on, love.

-Don't.

We don't stand a chance and it's all your fault.

Leave me alone.

You shouldn't be working with your mum!

I've no choice. She got me the job.

-That's even worse! I'm right, aren't I?

-Well...

Cut those apron strings. It's the best thing I ever did.

But we can't all leave home when we're 17.

Ah, you left home when you were 17?

No. You didn't see my home.

You think Letherbridge is dull, try coming from Skipton.

-The point is, we're all young, free and single.

-And broke.

We can go anywhere we like. Nurses can work anywhere in the world.

Some of us can't. Some of us have got responsibilities here.

I'm thinking of going to New Zealand. New Zealand's fantastic.

-Have you been?

-No. But I saw this documentary.

Wait. I see documentaries about the South Pole.

Doesn't mean I want to go there.

It's my round. Same again?

You're a gem.

Are you all right, love?

Yeah.

Come here.

What the hell do you think you're playing at?!

I thought I'd try something.

See if I could flush out Andrei's contact, whoever it is.

I thought if I came out alone, someone might approach me.

It was worth a try.

Couldn't you have told me that's what you were planning?

Couldn't you have trusted me?

Don't you think you might...

Don't you think you might be a little bit too emotionally involved?

Oh, well, of course, as a woman,

I'm always an emotional wreck(!)

I can't think rationally, I can't plan,

what with all those female hormones washing around...

No, no, I didn't mean that...

Yes, you did. That's exactly what you meant.

We're supposed to be a team.

-If you keep on questioning my judgement...

-If we're supposed to be a team,

how about working WITH me,

instead of going off on your own...

boss?

LAUGHTER

Shall we get some food? I'm starving.

Good idea.

I'll get some menus.

-Lara's great, isn't she?

-Yeah, she's really nice.

PHONE RINGS

That's me.

Hello, Mum. You all right?

No, if it's flooded, don't do anything.

Well, just switch if off...

Have you switched it off?

You won't get an engineer this time of night.

All right, I'll come home and have a look at it.

All right. Bye.

-Mum's having a crisis with a washing machine. I'm going to have to go.

-Aw...

-Well, it's been really nice...

-No, you can stay and have dinner or whatever.

I'm up for that if you are.

Um...

I know it must seem unfair to you.

You're right, it does.

But where children are concerned, we can't bend the rules.

Well, we're not giving up.

It's just we're comfortably well off.

We don't struggle for money,

we could give a child everything that it needs.

I do understand.

I doubt it.

Come on, there's a cafe over the road. Let's go there.

I could do with a decent coffee.

HE SIGHS

40 minutes we've been waiting for the bill.

I bet they think if we wait long enough, we'll order more food.

Still, the night is young.

Youngish.

When we've paid, shall we go?

Yeah. I'm quite tired, actually...

I meant go for a drink.

Oh, OK. If you want.

What do YOU want, though?

Let's go for a drink. I don't mind.

Shall we go somewhere quieter?

Um...

I really like you, Mandy. OK?

This is supposed to be a date, right?

It can be.

I don't know what Chris was thinking, setting the two of us up.

He didn't.

Not as such.

But he told me about you.

What did he say?

That you're single, that you're lovely, and that you like women.

Look, I do not want a relationship, I'm sorry.

It doesn't have to be a relationship.

It can just be a bit of fun, no strings, I'm fine with that.

No. No.

I'm sorry.

Why don't you want me? What's wrong with me?

Oh, nothing.

Oh, please don't get upset.

I just don't know how to do this.

It's so long since I've been single.

Chris said you'd broken up with someone.

Yeah.

What happened?

It was my lecturer at college.

I moved in with her when I was 19

and I've never really been with anybody else.

And then she dumped me for someone younger.

Sounds like a right cow.

No. You don't know her.

She's a really lovely, caring person.

-She sounds it(!)

-She is.

She's older than me, she's in her 40s,

so I reckon this is just a midlife crisis.

You know, she'll have a fling, get it out of her system

and then realise that it's me she wants and come back.

I mean, it is possible, isn't it?

Sounds like you're better off without her.

But I really love her.

Then what are you doing here with me?

Everyone says I should get over her and find somebody else.

Oh, right! So, what, I was just like a rebound thing?

No! I didn't mean that,

but if I'm not supposed to be with her and I can't be with you,

then what AM I supposed to do?

Learn to live alone.

Just...give it time.

Somebody else will come along.

That works for you, does it?

My partner died...

..a few months back.

I don't...I don't want anybody else.

I'm not ready.

Chris never said. I'm sorry. If he'd have said...

Yeah, but this whole relationship thing - or whatever it is -

it's not going to help either of us.

You do see that?

All right, you made your point. Just go.

OK.

Thanks.

Bye.

Terry.

Nothing.

No sign of Andrei.

He may still turn up.

He might have moved on. He could be targeting someone else.

He could be anywhere.

He could even be out of the country.

I mean, no-one's approached us, no-one's even vaguely interested.

Yeah, but Andrei's smart. He's going to be subtle.

He's not exactly going to sidle up to us and say,

"And a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square."

What about the Eastern European girl you were talking to?

Beata?

She's just a nice Polish woman

who married an English bloke from a dating agency.

Terry's checking her out, but I don't think

she's anything to do with this.

Maybe it's just not happening.

Or maybe someone's rumbled us.

Oh...damn it.

PHONE RINGS

Chris.

'You all right?'

No, not really.

Mum said Lara phoned me. She's really upset.

Yeah, I noticed.

Well, she's had a hard time lately, Mandy.

What, and you think I haven't?!

How dare you try and sort out my love life!

Did I ask you to set me up on a blind date(?)

It wasn't really a date.

Well, Lara obviously thought it was.

I just thought I'd introduce you,

and then if you got on, then great.

So you thought, we're both gay,

we're both nurses, we're both single,

we're bound to fancy each other?

And you've both been through stuff.

Chris, Lara has been dumped.

Yeah, it's not fair and, you know, she didn't deserve it,

but it doesn't compare!

Not to losing your partner.

I'm sorry. I...I thought you could cheer her up.

And vice versa.

'Mandy.

'Are you all right?'

I'm not going to do anything stupid.

Can I come round, please?

'Look, have you eaten?'

What? Erm...no.

All right, I'll bring a balti. Peace offering.

And then you can throw things at me if you like.

Vegetable biryani...

and a coriander naan.

'All right. I'll see you in a bit.'

See ya.

I always wanted kids, you know.

I really have thought about adopting, fostering.

But with this job...

So you obviously didn't have kids of your own?

No.

I can thank my ex for that.

He kept giving me the Big Kid speech.

What's the Big Kid speech?

Oh, you know...

"I'm just a big kid myself, I'm not mature enough to be a dad,"

blah-blah blah-blah-blah.

I waited years for him to change his mind.

Eventually, he decides he WAS grown up enough

and was mature enough to be a dad,

just not with me.

So he dumped me and went off with someone ten years younger

and started playing happy families with her.

They've got three kids now.

I'm really sorry.

You're lucky - you and Karen - with your two.

Yeah, we are.

I tell you what... I'll get you another coffee.

Excuse me.

Are you all right?

Erm, yeah, thanks, I'm...

..I'm fine.

Well, you don't seem fine. Can I help?

I shouldn't think so.

I don't even know who you are.

Andrei Mitkov.

Well, Andrei Mitkov,

me and my husband want to adopt a child.

I shouldn't think you can help with that.

Maybe I could help.

How about this one?

Go on.

"After having her heart broken, Kristen swears off romance forever.

"Unfortunately, she's a wedding cake designer.

"Handsome bridegroom Jack comes along

"demanding the most elaborate cake she's ever made.

"The two of them clash constantly..."

Yeah. Sounds OK.

Do you want to see a film?

No. Not really.

OK, then.

So, go on, Mr Mitkov, how can you help us?

Every adoption agency we've tried has turned us down.

-Because Rob was once in prison?

-Mm.

And this is where you tell us we've got no chance.

That's what everyone else says.

Well, it wasn't an offence against children.

It was a long time ago.

So I don't have a problem with that.

So tell us about your business.

Just wait a minute. How do we know we can trust you?

Rob!

It's a fair point and one that I'd ask in Rob's position.

I will give you all the bona fides you need.

Yeah, if you let him get a word in edgeways.

I'm from Kovenia.

I've never heard of it.

Well, not many people have.

It's one of the old Eastern bloc countries.

Tiny, very poor.

Now, we have thousands of young children, babies,

who've been abandoned.

No-one wants them.

And they're put into these orphanages -

terrible places.

They just need parents to love them.

Now, in this country,

we have thousands of couples that can't have children,

people that would make good parents, yet the authorities don't allow it.

I run a private adoption agency,

and try and bring those two things...together.

Now, that all sounds very impressive, but...

Look, if you're not interested, I won't waste your time.

I am truly sorry for interrupting you.

Oh, no, please tell us, we want to hear.

Oh, you've tidied up. You didn't have to.

And I didn't. It's always like this now -

Freya was a right slob.

Never washed up, picked her clothes up off the floor...

It must be so tough, losing her like that.

I didn't lose her.

She died.

You think, after all that, I'd be ready to play the field again?

Mandy, I really am sorry.

And I'm sorry for Lara.

But even if I was available,

you can't go out with someone just cos you feel sorry for them.

So how are things with you?

I never thought I'd get through the last few months, but...I have.

So things must be getting better.

At some point.

I just want to get through Christmas.

Well, I'd never have known.

You always seem so cheerful.

Great! Well, maybe sometimes I feel like having a day off.

Maybe sometimes I feel like being sodding miserable!

Would it help to talk about it?

No.

Thank you.

What can I do?

Grab some plates. Watch a film with me.

You got any beer?

Mm-hm.

This is going to cost quite a lot of money, isn't it?

But it's what we've always wanted!

Look, I'm really not doing this for the money.

I'm just trying to find out how much it's going to cost.

It's what we've always wanted, and you're picking holes in it!

Yeah, and you're telling him our business straight off.

Look, maybe I should go.

Give you two time to discuss it on your own.

No, no, we've decided, we want to do it.

Yeah. This has been breaking her heart, all this.

And if you really can do what you're saying...

OK, I'll need to assess you both, separately and together.

Your home, your circumstances.

I can't hand a child over to complete strangers

without knowing that child's going to be safe.

Fine, that sounds fair enough to me. When can we start?

Soon. Very soon.

I have your details.

I will be in touch.

Right. Shall we go?

Your place or mine?

Oh, well...

Let's just go home,

go to bed.

The thing is...I've got to be up really early tomorrow morning,

and...

Come back for a bit. If you want. I don't mind.

You don't mind?

Jas, this isn't working, is it?

Us.

So let's just call it a day.

No, no, no. I was wrong, and you were right.

It doesn't matter. What matters is, it worked.

-Now we've just got to reel him in.

-Lyn, you were brilliant.

Stop it. We've got work to do.

Fancy another coffee?

No, it's my round. And I think I should buy you something stronger.

Well, if you're going to buy me a proper drink, I must have done something right.

Terry, what are you doing here?

I'm sorry, boss.

Spit it out.

We lost him.

Right.

-Boss, I...

-Oh, save it, Terry. I don't want to hear your excuses.

We've made contact.

We'll get him.

You don't want me, you never have.

You didn't before and you don't now.

I DO want you.

Look, I'm sorry.

I've been a miserable cow all evening.

You're not listening to what I'm saying! It's because...

The meal was a disaster,

the whole evening has been, but you won't admit that.

You can't just be honest.

I AM honest.

Not with me, not with anything, cos if you were,

you would have to admit...

..you don't love me.

I do love you.

No, you don't.

You don't even like being with me, but you won't leave me...

so I have to leave you.

Please, Aran. Can't we just try again?

We just have.

You're a good man.

I know I'm lucky to have you.

That sounds like your mother talking.

I love you, Jas.

Well, then, why?

You're settling with me

because you're scared of being alone, and I want more than that.

You take care, OK?

I hope you find someone that makes you happy.

Well, if she's easy to get on with,

and I hear nothing but good things from the patients.

-She's flighty and unreliable.

-Really?

Word on the grapevine is that you're off on holiday.

Have you come to whisk me away?

No.

-That's the end of it. What do you think?

-Now!

Or I'm calling the police!

I just thought you'd like to know,

I've been offered a permanent job here.

What?

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