Fall of a Sparrow Doctors

'Oh for a muse of fire,

'that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention.

'A kingdom for a stage,

'princes to act, and monarchs to behold the swelling scene'

'Cry "Havoc!"

'And let slip the dogs of war!'

'Here's the smell of the blood still.'

'all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand.'

'If you prick us, do we not bleed?

'If you tickle us, do we not laugh?

'If you poison us, do we not die?

'And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?'

'Cheer up, Mr Shakespeare it's your birthday!

'Yes, the great Bard, the Swan of Avon is 448 years old

'and as part of the Cultural Olympiad, the world is celebrating.

'All eyes are on a bustling market town in Warwickshire

'that over the years has transformed into a sparkling jewel

'of literary and theatrical culture.

'Stratford upon Avon, home of the Royal Shakespeare Company

'and its three magnificent theatres...'

Stratford upon Avon.

'..and many original buildings from his time, including his birthplace.

'Try our Quick Quotes Quiz. How many can you identify?

'How cultured are you? Test your friends!'

'Do not forever with thy vailed lids

'seek for thy noble father in the dust.

'Thou know'st 'tis common; all that lives must die,

'passing through nature to eternity.'

Yeah, it was very nice, but we did finish early.

No point going mad the night before, eh?

I made that mistake last time.

Do you remember?

Ah, here he is. Look - my little prince.

Give it a rest, eh Mum?

Yeah, I'll see you later, eh? Bye.

Dane, love.

You are going to be nice to everyone, aren't you?

On my special day?

Please, love.

-For me, eh?

-Who says I'm coming, anyway?

(RADIO) 'You're listening to Letherbridge FM.'

RADIO JINGLE MUSIC

'Police have named the Letherbridge man

'arrested after fighting off a burglar

'as Dr Heston Carter of the Mill Health Centre.

'Misha Talwar has this report.

'Dr Carter, do you have any comment to make?'

'I did what anyone else would have done in the same situation -

'protected myself and my property.

-'What do you think should happen now?

-I'm sure the law will take its course.

'Do you feel any remorse at all?

'If he hadn't been in my house none of this would've happened.'

Hark at him!

'But I hope that in future, people like him will think twice

'before deliberately setting out

'to violate the homes of law-abiding citizens.'

Give me a break!

'Dr Carter. Dr Carter!...'

RADIO SWITCHED OFF

You decent, sweetheart?

Ah! It's bad luck, stupid!

Well, do you want these or don't you?

You've got a best man for that.

Yeah, well he's busy chucking up.

Be careful with that, it's got to go back to the catalogue.

-I bought my own, thanks.

-What for? Court?

No, my dad's funeral.

Your best mate, remember?

Yeah, well, it's the wrong colour.

Needn't have bothered taking it off.

Can't you just leave it for one day?

We should've thought. Saved some of the buffet for tonight.

Leave it!

Clive, are you still here?

All right, I'm going, I'm going!

-And there is a quick quotes quiz.

-Oh, yes?

RECORDING: 'Night's candles are burnt out,

'and jocund day stands tiptoe on the misty mountain tops.'

-Now, what play was that?

-No idea.

-Don't look at me.

-Oh, no. Hang on...

-It's Romeo And Juliet.

-Well done!

-I must've seen it 20 times?

-Romeo And Juliet?

No, Shakespeare In Love.

-Is Heston here yet?

-No, not yet.

From the Royal Shakespeare Company.

Oh, I must've won those tickets.

-Really?

-Yeah.

It was a competition I did ages ago,

I'd forgotten all about it, to be honest.

Hm!

Four for tomorrow night and two for Friday.

-Take one.

-Congratulations.

Oh, Twelfth Night! How wonderful!

-Thank you so much, Mrs Parsons.

-And a night in a hotel.

Heston, can I have a word?

Is everything all right?

What is it now?

Oh, good grief.

It'll all blow over and we'll just carry on as normal.

You must be exhausted, Heston.

I will not have my patients' lives disrupted by that cretin.

-Is he still in hospital?

-For all I know and care, for that matter.

-You don't mean that.

-He brought it on himself.

Well, whether we agree or not,

you've been charged with a very serious criminal offence.

Which is a complete farce!

-The GMC will have to...

-I am the victim here, Julia.

I know that, Heston, but...

He was in my kitchen, stealing my Chianti!

It will be their decision and as practice manager,

I will have to abide by that.

So I think it's best if you just keep a low profile.

Maybe use the time to catch up on some paperwork.

CHURCH BELLS RINGING

Ah, thanks!

-All the best, mate.

-Cheers, Leigh.

Oh, don't you look gorgeous!

Come on, I'm spitting feathers here.

Throw the bouquet!

-Everybody ready?

-ALL: Yes!

One, two, three!

CHEERING

Can you hear them, Dad?

Already?

Right state they're going to be in, eh?

Rotten!

Poor Dr Carter. It is an outrage.

-It's always the innocent who suffer.

-So wrong!

-Heston wouldn't hurt a fly.

-It's a disaster.

All the more reason to get away.

Nice hotel, Twelfth Night, all that "food of love" stuff...

I don't think Martin's the kind of guy

who'd go to a play about cross dressing.

Not that you've asked him, I suppose?

Not another one!

Come on, what's the worst that can happen?

What, apart from feeling foolish and desperate?

Where's your fighting spirit, woman? "Once more into the breach"!

Yeah(!)

Hey!

Here you are, sweetheart. One for your dad, too

There you go, Paul.

Here you go, mate. Cheers.

Well, that's the hard part done.

Yeah!

-Haven't seen Dane about, have you?

-He's a piece of work, that one.

-She's worried.

-I don't blame her.

So should you be, mate.

Oh, yeah? Why's that?

She reckons he's after your sister.

You what?!

Hey!

-All right, Mum?

-Where've you been?

Hey, that girl's been asking after you, that Amelia.

Lovely girl. Did all the flowers.

So what's put his nose out of joint?

Thinks he's god's gift, him.

like his father, always sticking his oar in.

Here you go, son.

What did you call me?

-Dane!

-Just take it, will you?

-I need a word.

-Oi, my dress!

I'm coming, aren't I?

Will you stop it?!

Are you going to ruin my whole day, is that it?!

Like you've just ruined my life? SHE SCOFFS

How could you do it, eh? A prat like him?

Look, you knew this was coming.

-Yeah, but I just couldn't believe it.

-No, you just didn't want to!

What? That my own mother was such a complete and utter tart?

You know what they're all saying out there, don't you?

I loved your father. And you know I did.

About you two. While he was still alive!

I am not going to spend the rest of my life on my own.

-At least you could've pretended.

-For anybody!

-Can you hear this, Dad?

-No, Dane, he can't.

-Your wonderful wife!

-Because he's dead.

-The woman you loved! All them years.

-Dead, dead, dead!

Trudi? You all right, love?

Look, why don't you go back out there and talk to that girl, eh?

Just look at him will you? Your real husband.

-Trudi?

-Compared to that pillock!

Love, please!

Well, that's it. I'm going to kill him.

Don't say that!

Either him or myself.

-Why are you being so cruel, Dane?

-Cruel to be kind!

When I'm standing here like this?

Trudi!

-We're trying to talk here!

-Ow!

-Oh, my...

-Paul! Sorry, mate!

-I thought it was...

-Dad? dad!

-Get away from him!

I'm sorry.

Look what you've done!

See what I mean now? You're a bloody menace! Come on.

So what does Rob say?

Well, he's trying to help him, of course.

But he thinks he should get off his high horse.

Just because the papers agree with him, doesn't mean the CPS will.

Who knows which way they'll go?

Oh, we'll try and talk some sense into him again.

Well, good luck with that.

Oh, by the way...

..you know I won that night in Stratford?

Oh, yes! Dead posh.

Elaine thinks I should ask Martin.

Well, of course you should.

I'd give the Shakespeare a miss, if I were you.

Get a bottle of wine in him and get him upstairs.

SHE LAUGHS

Appalling.

You think so?

-What, and you don't?

-A man in your position?

Well, if everyone started taking the law into their own hands...

-He was defending himself.

-In his own home, for crying out loud.

All I'm saying is that some people are headed for a fall.

Too high and mighty, by half.

How can we help you, Biglow?

Well, as the new Acting Assistant Head of Campus Security,

it has come to my attention, Dr Carmichael,

that your parking permit has expired...four days ago.

Well, I am sorry, but I have been just a smidgen busy,

-what with having a baby and everything(!)

-And Dr Tyler.

-Hmm?

I couldn't help noticing that you're parked across two spaces.

Doubt it.

The front near side tyre is definitely on the white line...

-You what?

-..contrary to the very clear stipulation.

SHE TUTS

Right, guys. We need to find some cover for Heston.

Yes, of course.

Hello, Julia. How lovely to see you.

I could really do without all this right now!

-That it then?

-No, no, I'll wait.

But don't forget about the car.

-Come on, then! Come on!

-Hey, hey!

-Are you going to do something about him or what?

-That's enough.

Or do you want me to do it?

-He didn't mean it!

-He's an animal!

-Just calm down, will you?

-My old man's in A&E because of him!

-I'm so sorry about all this,

-but it's not exactly the first time.

-It was an accident!

-He's the accident!

-Shut it, will you?

-Why don't you make me?! Go on.

-Dane, please!

-Pack it in, you!

-I'm arresting you for assault.

You don't have to say anything, but it may harm your defence

if you don't mention something you later rely on in court...

-This was supposed to be a happy day.

-Will you get him out of my face?

You've no-one to blame but yourself!

Anything you do say may be given in evidence.

Come on, love. Let's get a drink. eh?

Get away from me!

-Tell him we're right behind him.

-100%.

Will do. Bye!

Sorry, Julia.

I just wondered if you'd had any more thoughts

about our little soiree?

I know you've got a lot on mind, but then I thought, "What the heck?"

Carpe Diem! Seize the day!

You're an educated man, Barry.

-Well, I...

-Like Shakespeare, at all?

-Up to a point.

-Well, here.

RSC tomorrow night. My treat.

Well, thanks very much.

Not at all.

(Yes!)

Thanks.

Dane Hamley. Become a bit of a regular lately.

-One punch-up after another.

-Yeah?

-Found these in his pocket.

Anti-depressants.

Worth having a word?

Well, of course, we're both very well read.

And there's the promotion, of course.

Puts us a little more on a par, socially.

-What are you going to wear?

-Huh?

Well I'd have thought black tie, at the very least,

-for the Royal Shakespeare Company.

-Oh, yeah, it's very posh.

Hm! People always think I'm a bouncer.

Well, you could always wear something a bit more snazzy.

You know Julia. So different when she's out.

No stopping her, mate.

Something nice and bright. And fitted. Show off that physique.

-Nah, you're taking the mick!

-And that hair. That'll never do.

Get some product in there, mate. Get it on its feet.

And get some of those - what are they called? - cigarette pants!

Perfect!

So this season! The mustardy ones? Sensational!

How long you been on these?

Since my dad died.

Do they help?

Nothing helps.

You're still grieving.

Sometimes, it's like I can hear his voice,

right in my ear, as if he's still here.

Like a ghost or something.

And then other times,

I don't know. I'm like...

should I even bother any more?

-With what?

-Any of it. Live or die.

That's what I keep asking myself.

You've got your whole life, right?

People stitching you up, telling you what to do.

Kicking you in the teeth, no matter how hard you try.

Scraping along, treated like scum, for nothing!

When you could just shank yourself up, and...

..finished.

I mean, why not?

Hm?

When you think about it.

Still...

..I suppose that's why we bottle it,

most people.

Why we're all cowards.

Why?

Because we think too much.

That's the trouble.

'Martin, it's Julia.'

I know, yes. Your name comes up.

Right, um...

..I just really wanted to say

if there's one thing that I've learned over the years, it's...

Well, you know.

-Do I?

-Well, you probably think that it's a bit weird,

me making this phone call.

Let's face it,

-I was very presumptuous and, er...

-Insulting?

Yes, insulting.

-Downright rude, really.

-Yes!

Yes, OK, yes.

So? What is it, then?

-Pardon?

-This big thing of yours?

Ah, yes. Well, I just...

I was just thinking, you know... I mean...

Well, opportunities don't come along all the time, do they?

Life's just too short to waste them, really.

Right.

Seize the day and all that, you know?

So, um...

So, I was wondering, whether you'd be interested,

whether you would like...

Whether you would like to come with me tomorrow night to Stratford.

As in, the Olympics?

No, Upon Avon.

Oh, I quite fancied the Olympics.

Martin!

Well, of course I would, you silly sausage!

How's he doing?

-Well, he's taken his meds.

-Is he fit to go?

If it was up to me, I'd keep him here overnight,

-but no-one's pressing charges.

-No.

That tends to happen at weddings. Par for the course.

-Unless you want to section him?

-He's not that bad.

-No choice, then.

# I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight

# I've never seen you shine so bright

# Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm

# I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance

# Looking for a little romance Given half a chance... #

Well?

I'm sorry.

And what about him?

-No way.

-Hey!

You would still be in there if it wasn't for me.

So do as you're told!

I think Dane's got something to say to you.

-Oh, yeah?

-About your dad.

I didn't mean it.

And?

I'm sorry.

Well, come on, then! Shake hands.

Now, how about buying your mum a drink?

All right, love?

She'll come round.

Pint of lager, please.

Who's that, then?

You remember Yorkie.

Used to be a comedian here, before the stroke.

Course I do.

He was a good laugh.

Yorkie, yeah.

I knew him quite well.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Come in!

I thought you might like these for Friday night. King Lear.

Oh, thank you, Julia. How apposite.

A man more sinned against than sinning.

Look, I have to ask this. Have you been entirely honest with the police

about everything? They know about the first break-in, yes?

-Of course, yes.

-And your recent state of mind?

Meaning?

Meaning the problems you had with Marina.

That is completely irrelevant!

Besides, I'm not the one who should be having to make excuses!

I know, but I think you might get a bit more sympathy...

-I don't want sympathy!

-..if you were a little less self-righteous.

-How dare you?!

-I rest my case.

I'd rather not be held up to ridicule before the entire world,

if it's all the same to you!

Oh, I see! That's what this is about?

-Wounded pride?

-Excuse me?

Wounded male pride? Oh dear, Heston!

Sorry, but I took you to be a bigger man than that.

What is it with women?

You had your chance, but you wouldn't take it.

Me all over.

CACKLING

Have you seen them two?

I think Clive's got a job for him.

And what about me?

Love, let's be fair. You do hate his guts.

Not very nice for me, is it,

being caught up in the middle of all this!

I don't know what Dad even saw in him, let alone you.

You've got to start letting go, because it's not doing you any good.

I sit there and talk to him, sometimes,

like he was still in the room.

And you think I don't?

I wish he was still here, love.

I really do.

But he's not, is he?

And that's all there is to it.

Just as well.

He'd have killed the pair of you.

-Get off!

-Come on!

-No!

-All right, that's enough.

You listening? Leave it.

Don't even go there, mate.

-What's going on?

-Don't worry about it.

-Hey, she's my sister!

-Then you should look out for her.

-What's it to you?

-Dane!

-I asked you a question!

-You what?

Stay away from her! You hear me?

Leave him alone!

-You snidey little...

-Now, don't start again you!

-Come on, then!

-Get off!

-Dane, no!

-Call the police!

-No, he asked for that!

-Just do as I say, you daft cow!

Who are you talking to, eh?

-That's my mother.

-No, don't!

-My mother!

-Dane!

You filthy, sneaky, slimy little scumbag!

Ah!

SHE SCREAMS

Thank you for the tickets.

You're welcome.

You're right, of course.

I have been on edge, to say the least,

because of all that dreadful business.

And, of course, I care about that wretched man.

-I know you do.

-I'm a surgeon, not a thug.

I've spent my whole life trying to be a caring, thinking,

altruistic man, only to be dragged back into the swamp.

Not by him or the ills of society,

but by my own stupid bitterness,

weakness and pride.

I don't know if I was hitting him or Marina.

-Heston.

-I hate myself for that.

Can barely face going back to the house.

Well, you're bound to feel like that.

I'm not scared any more. Just disgusted. At what I've become.

A very foolish, fond old man.

Hey.

You know, I have a very comfortable spare room,

if you would like to use it.

Thank you, Julia.

Look, I didn't mean it. It just happened. I swear!

I'm sorry, yeah? I'm sorry!

How is he, love?

You keep away from him!

-Trudi, please...

-Get out of my sight!

-Where's the ambulance?

-They'll be here in a minute.

I want that boy locked up for what he's done.

-For the rest of his life!

-I know.

Look at my son.

No, it's all right, love. You lay still.

-Is he coming or what?

-7244 to Control.

RADIO: 'Emergency Control.'

-Do we have an ETA on that ambulance?

-You all right, Mum?

Course I am.

It's on its way.

Maybe it was bad luck.

What was?

When he came round this morning.

Funny, though.

What's that?

I can't hear Dad anymore.

Can't you, love?

No.

It's all gone nice and quiet.

LABOURED BREATHING

Really, really quiet.

Dane?

Dane!

Oh!

No!

Trudi?

Just hang on.

Oh, my little prince!

'Give order that these bodies high on a stage be placed to the view

'and let me speak to the yet unknowing world

'how these things came about.

'So shall you hear of carnal bloody and unnatural acts.

'Of accidental judgements, casual slaughters...'

I'm no one's punchbag now!

'Of deaths put on by cunning and forc'd cause

'and in this upshot, purposes mistook

'fall on the inventors' heads.'

Canary yellow!

That shade's really you! Just remember to smile!

Alicia Hyde. Julia Parsons.

Lovely to meet you. We've never met before.

No, no. We haven't.

You're just going to have to tell him you're real name

-and that we know each other.

-How?

Just stand back from the edge, OK? I'd feel a lot happier.

You fight me for her, fair and square!

WATER SPLASHING

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd