Kendon's Method Doctors


Kendon's Method

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Transcript


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LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS

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SHE SIGHS

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ANIMAL SQUEAKS

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DISTANT CROWING

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ANIMAL SQUEAKS

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SHE GASPS, SCREAMS LOUDLY

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COW MOOS

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SHE SOBS

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"Motivation, motivation..."

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and while the other guy's saying it, for the third time...

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you're out there, you're doing it, you're buying that property,

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you're dropping that weight,

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you're dumping that life partner who's been holding you back.

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-HE SPEAKS ALONG WITH VIDEO:

-You own the problem. Take control.

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You work through the Five Point Plan.

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Mate, I've had enough.

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You quitting on me? Loser.

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Seriously, thank you for thinking of me for the guest pass,

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but I am going to go and see my dad. He was asleep when I left this morning.

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Check on him at lunch time. That's why you're here.

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To forget for half an hour. Do some treadmill.

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Ayo...

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Ten minutes.

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Well, it's my dad...

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What's ten minutes of your life?

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Come on, don't be a loser.

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Looo-ser.

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-What, and then you're going to leave me alone?

-Depends.

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-On what?

-On how hard you go.

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Why do I have to go so hard?

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Leave it all in here. Your anger.

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Frustration.

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Ten minutes?

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All the bad stuff. Comes right out with the sweat.

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All right.

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Let's see who goes faster.

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Seriously?

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What, you afraid of losing? Loser?

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They're taken.

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I got here first.

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-No, you didn't.

-Look, you can have mine. I was going to leave anyway.

-I said they're taken.

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And I said I got here first.

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Guys, please.

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Do everyone a favour. Get lost.

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Disappear.

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Go.

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What? The man's a loser.

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Now let's see what you've got.

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And finally, facing your fear, owning it.

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Now, who's got a problem that I can solve?

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Who's got a fear that I can help you face?

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Me.

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I have.

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You did what?!

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I didn't mean to!

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How do you tread on a guinea pig?

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You've got to be quick.

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And now there's a rat.

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You saw a rat?

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I heard it.

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So you did not actually see it?

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Maybe it was hiding. Didn't want to get...

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-Oi!

-Oh, I couldn't stay there. Not after the...

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Who's going to feed the animals?

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Anyone for ciambella della nonna?

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It's a Tuscan breakfast cake.

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From Tuscany.

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Please yourselves.

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Um...

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Heston, why didn't you tell me about the animals?

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What do you mean?

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The zoo out back.

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Did you not get any of my messages?

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They wanted someone BECAUSE of the animals.

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Yeah, a few guinea pigs, not Noah's ark.

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-You'll have to phone your friends and tell them to get someone else.

-They're on safari.

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-Oh, great, maybe they can bring back a couple of elephants(!)

-Better make that three. Elephants.

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Just in case someone steps on one of them.

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-I killed one of the guinea pigs.

-You did what?!

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It was an accident. I just...

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-I don't want to know. Just get another one.

-I can't.

-Why not?

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I'm not going back there. I can't face it.

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I thought you wanted the peace and quiet.

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Peace and quiet? It's a nightmare!

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And what am I going to tell the Fitzwilliams about their guinea pig?

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"Sorry"?

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Come on through.

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So what are the chances, you ending up here?

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Well, it is the nearest surgery to my hotel.

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Oh, of course.

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So did you manage to get onto the treadmill in the end?

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That ship had sailed.

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Look, I'm so sorry about that.

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I really don't know what got into my friend.

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I've never seen him like that before.

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Really?

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So, the receptionist said you had an emergency.

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That looks like hives. Urticaria.

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Yeah, I've had them before.

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Right. Any idea about what might have brought this on?

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Yeah. You.

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Me?

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You and your friend.

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You don't recognise me, do you?

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From somewhere other than the...gym?

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You and Ayo are thick as thieves. Just like you were when you were 15.

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Mr Praver?

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Yeah.

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Pravachan now. Kendon.

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I'd have never have recognised you.

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Yeah, well, I've transformed myself.

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Wow. Are you still at Percival Winston's?

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No. I'm not a teacher any more.

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Oh. Why?

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You really don't remember?

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No.

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You know, you were the best teacher I ever had.

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Well, I'm a motivational speaker now.

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-Well, you always inspired me.

-And I'm a life coach,

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and I'm here to give a talk at the Central Hotel tonight.

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At least that was the plan.

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I'll get a doctor to get you some anti...

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No, I prefer dealing with the root cause,

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and that's what my talks are all about.

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Dealing with your problems from the inside.

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-Really?

-Yeah.

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So, um, have lunch with me later.

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I can't.

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There's something I've got to do. I'm sorry.

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Hm. Anything you want to talk about?

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Not really.

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Why don't you do both?

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Catch up with your favourite teacher

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and with whatever it is that's making you feel so guilty.

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Mm. This is fab. You should try some.

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No, I cannot eat

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when I know that livestock is going hungry.

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-SHE SIGHS

-I don't feel good about this, you know.

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Why don't YOU go and feed them?

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Because it is not my responsibility.

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And there's a rat.

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This Tuscan breakfast cake is really rather ravishing.

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You're not funny, you know.

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Why don't you go and give some to those poor animals you've abandoned?

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I am not going back there.

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Why DON'T you go back?

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You did not actually see the rat.

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Yeah, and what are you going to do with that dead guinea pig?

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Oh, will you all just leave me alone?

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Can I help?

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Cos whatever the problem,

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there's always a way to make it better.

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Yes, it's Heston.

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I'm off to lunch now, so can you ring me back on my mobile?

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It's very important we talk today.

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-MRS TEMBE:

-Good afternoon...

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Ooh. Let's have a look.

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-Dude!

-What?

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How can you run to this?

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Why wouldn't I? It's a nice steady beat.

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What language are you speaking?

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Cherry made it for me.

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No wonder you broke up. A good steady beat?

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You sound like you're 100.

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Yeah, well, it works for me.

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No.

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SQUEAKING AND CHIRRUPING

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No. No, it was, like, it was more black and white than that.

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Oh...

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You really don't remember?

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No.

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That last class, the three of us together?

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Well, I remember you were getting a bit angry, but you sometimes did.

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You had every right to.

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Because of your behaviour?

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Well, you know how teenage boys can be.

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Only too well. That class was the last one that I ever taught.

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You gave up teaching after that class?

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Because of it.

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Wh...?

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You gave up teaching because of me and Ayo?

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Who can say? Maybe it was just a catalyst.

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What was? I mean...what happened?

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That's what I'm trying to piece together.

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You can't remember either?

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Sometimes when a memory's too painful...

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I had some kind of a breakdown

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due to something that happened in that class.

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My whole life fell apart.

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I lost my job, my wife left me.

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I had to leave and start again,

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and I knew coming back to Letherbridge was always going to be a risk.

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I just thought I could manage it, you know, some of the people I might meet.

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But I didn't expect it to be you two,

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so when you confronted me, I broke out in hives

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and it just all came flooding back. That class. That afternoon.

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And, honestly, I'm feeling the same doubts all over again.

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SCRATCHING

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I solve other people's problems. Look at me with mine.

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I'm meant to be on stage tonight.

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If we can't make this better...

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..I'm not sure that I can.

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There you go, Grandad.

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"Top ten tracks of all time - discuss."

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GUITAR RIFF PLAYS: "Worm Tamer" by Grinderman

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If you go back to the house and look after the other animals,

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-maybe the owners will forgive you.

-I'm not going back.

-But the animals!

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I killed a guinea pig! I can't do it, Chris.

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I thought I could, and I can't.

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Not on my own. Will you come with me?

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Oh, I can't.

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Your dad?

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No, a patient. He's an old teacher friend of mine.

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He needs some help.

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What kind of help?

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Well, he's not a teacher any more. He's a motivational speaker.

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Oh, is that the guy who gave me the flyer?

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He gave you a flyer?

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How can you help him?

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It's a long story. I can't...

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How do you know he's not trying to help you,

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and he's going to just charge you the earth for it?

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I went to see someone once.

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After Freya, to try and help me get over it.

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I didn't tell anyone. It cost me a fortune.

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It just made the whole thing ten times worse.

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But you got through it, and you can get through this.

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I killed a guinea pig.

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I got covered in mud... Oh, oh, and there's no power.

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-Oh, you can fix that, can't you?

-Can I?

-Yes!

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"I take your Black Keys,

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"your White Stripes

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"and your Strokes...

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"and give you..."

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HE CHUCKLES

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It's really him? We kicked Mr Praver off the treadmill?

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Yeah, our favourite teacher.

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Er, yours.

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Oh, come on. He was a legend. He loved you.

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Can you remember us ever giving him a hard time?

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Is that what he said?

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You know that last lesson we ever had with him? Can you remember it?

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Not really.

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Cos he said he resigned straight after.

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Because of us?

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What if we did do something?

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Maybe. So what?

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Well, he wants us to work through it with him?

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Work it through? What does that mean?

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Well, he's got this... He's got this Five Point Plan for problem solving.

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Right? And I think, if he did really leave teaching because of us, we...

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Because of some stupid argument with a 15-year-old?

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So you do remember?

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Some argument. Not what it was about.

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What if this is a chance to make it right?

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Come on - it'll only take ten minutes.

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What will?

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Come on, mate. What's ten minutes of your life?

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So, Ayo.

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Different circumstances from this morning?

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Yeah.

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So how are you?

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Wondering what I'm doing here.

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Did you come straight from work?

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-Maybe.

-What do you do?

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Is it important?

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I don't know. What do you think?

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Why don't you just tell us what we're doing here?

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OK. We're going to own the problem. We're going to take control.

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We're going to work through this Five Point Plan,

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which is identification, confrontation, guilt reduction,

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reconstruction. And finally, we're going to face our fear and own it.

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Now, usually at this point, I say, "Is there anyone here who's got a fear that I can help you face?

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"A problem that I can help you solve."

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But in this case, the person with the problem...is me.

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So what do you want us to do about it?

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Point four. Reconstruction.

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What?

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None of us can remember what really happened.

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So what's the point of being here?

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We go back, we find out what did.

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Can't I just apologise for this morning?

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Do you think you need to?

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I don't know. What do you think?

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I think this might be a way to find out.

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I thought it was for you.

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Come on - why would you be here if there wasn't something in it for you?

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There was an argument. That's all I can remember.

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Me too.

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I can't even remember that.

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I think we all want to remember what really happened, don't you?

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OK, I'm going to be back in just a few moments.

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So there was an argument - why go over it again?

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-Well, don't you want to know what happened?

-How's that going to solve anything?

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Mate, don't you think we owe it to him?

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No.

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He gave up his career.

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And that's supposed to be our fault? Stuff happens.

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We didn't make him leave.

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And you're wrong - he never liked me.

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Good morning, class.

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Good morning, class.

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Good morning, sir.

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-Ayo?

-Good morning.

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So this is the last time that we'll be together before you do your GCSEs,

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and then you're off to wherever it is, so I just want to find out how you're all getting on.

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Er, Chris, did you manage to do any revision at all last night?

0:15:300:15:33

-Yeah, yeah, a bit.

-Great. Ayo?

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-What?

-Did you do any work last night?

0:15:360:15:38

Yes, sir.

0:15:380:15:39

Great. What work did you do?

0:15:390:15:41

English, Maths.

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Really?

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Yeah.

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Can I see it?

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I said I'd like to see it.

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I had a book. An exercise book.

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OK, um...

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Use this.

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Can I see it?

0:15:590:16:01

Why are you picking on me?

0:16:010:16:03

You can see mine if you like.

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-Did I ask to see yours?

-No.

-Then don't interrupt.

0:16:040:16:07

Come on, Ayo. You said you'd done some work - I'd like to see it.

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Is it all right, then?

0:16:170:16:19

I said, is it all right?

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I'll have it back now.

0:16:250:16:26

Christopher!

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-I want to see what he wrote.

-Give it me.

-I want to see what you wrote, mate.

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Give him the book back now!

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HE PANTS

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Now get out!

0:16:380:16:39

-But, sir...

-I said get out.

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I wasn't even in the class.

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That's why I didn't know what happened.

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"I saw you."

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That's what you wrote.

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You saw me doing what?

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You know what.

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If you've got something to say to me, just say it.

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In front of everyone?

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If you're going to threaten someone, make sure that you can follow

0:16:590:17:02

through. Now, come on - you saw me doing what?

0:17:020:17:05

I saw you with Miss Sanders.

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Kissing her.

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What makes you think anyone is going to believe a word you say?

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-Why wouldn't they?

-Well, why should they? Look at you. You're a loser.

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You're a nobody. You're a nothing! Aren't you?

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Aren't you?

0:17:220:17:23

-Yes.

-Yes what?

0:17:230:17:25

Yes, sir.

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Go.

0:17:280:17:30

Do everyone a favour. Just disappear.

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-Ayo!

-Let him go.

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He's got to come to terms with what he did.

0:17:440:17:47

I don't know what's funny. I'm not making fun of your playlist.

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-Yeah, well, mine's not a joke.

-Nor's mine!

-Oh, come on.

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-It's not.

-Are you having me on?

0:17:550:17:56

No.

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-Madness, Manic Street Preachers, Keane?

-What's wrong with them?

0:17:580:18:02

Nothing. Val Doonican. Or with slippers and a pipe.

0:18:020:18:05

-Or a stairlift. Right, come on.

-Where?

0:18:050:18:08

A pub with a jukebox.

0:18:080:18:10

I'm going to buy you a pint and teach you about music!

0:18:100:18:13

Nah, you know, I think I'm going to go home,

0:18:130:18:16

sit on the couch with a cup of Horlicks...listen to some records.

0:18:160:18:20

Records?

0:18:210:18:22

Nah, no, no... Now you are joking?

0:18:220:18:25

So oversensitive.

0:18:270:18:29

Must be nice.

0:18:290:18:30

-What?

-Having so many friends that you don't mind losing a few.

0:18:300:18:33

And what about Ayo?

0:18:370:18:39

Ayo's got to go on Ayo's journey.

0:18:390:18:40

He's got to take control. He's got to get out there and do it.

0:18:400:18:44

I didn't have to come back, did I?

0:18:440:18:46

I'd no idea who I was going to bump into. I had to make it right.

0:18:460:18:50

That really got to Ayo.

0:18:500:18:52

-Yeah, well, he's got you to help him through it.

-Yeah,

0:18:520:18:54

and I would have helped you if you'd have just asked me.

0:18:540:18:57

I don't need it. I've got a Five Point Plan.

0:18:570:18:59

What if it doesn't work?

0:19:020:19:04

What if it's better just to talk to friends?

0:19:040:19:07

Next thing you'll be telling me I'll have to give people their money back.

0:19:070:19:11

Now, I've got a seminar to prepare.

0:19:110:19:13

I couldn't leave it like that.

0:19:350:19:37

Like what?

0:19:370:19:39

You don't really have records?

0:19:390:19:40

Motivation, motivation...

0:19:430:19:45

And while the other guy's saying it, for the third time...

0:19:450:19:48

-ALL:

-You're out there doing it!

0:19:480:19:51

Yeah, you're out there doing it. You're buying the house,

0:19:510:19:54

you know, you're losing the weight, you're dumping that life partner who's been holding you back.

0:19:540:19:59

It's about ownership about taking control.

0:19:590:20:01

If you own your problem, then your problem doesn't own you.

0:20:010:20:06

And if something belongs to you, you can give it away.

0:20:060:20:10

Now, who's got a problem I can solve?

0:20:130:20:15

Who's got a fear I can help you face? Anyone?

0:20:150:20:17

Yeah? Um...

0:20:180:20:20

Excuse me a minute, do I know you?

0:20:200:20:22

Um, the Mill Health Centre. Earlier.

0:20:230:20:27

I'm one of Chris' friends.

0:20:270:20:30

Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember. So, um, so what fear can I help you face?

0:20:300:20:34

I'm frightened of animals.

0:20:350:20:39

Rats...

0:20:390:20:40

I tell you what,

0:20:400:20:43

why don't you just go and, er, talk it over with Chris?

0:20:430:20:46

I paid £20 for that?

0:20:480:20:50

I think he knew what happened.

0:20:520:20:54

Never.

0:20:540:20:55

Well, he said he didn't.

0:20:550:20:56

And you believed him?

0:20:560:20:57

Well, why wouldn't I?

0:20:570:20:59

Because he was your favourite teacher.

0:20:590:21:01

And yours.

0:21:010:21:02

-I should have smacked the guy this morning.

-Mate, where does all this anger come from?

0:21:020:21:06

Who knows? Being let down?

0:21:060:21:09

What, by Mr Praver?

0:21:090:21:11

Maybe he's not the only one.

0:21:110:21:13

Wha...? You're saying that I've let you down?

0:21:130:21:16

I don't know. What do you think?

0:21:160:21:18

Mate, I think that we're trying to help someone out who meant a lot

0:21:180:21:21

-to both of us.

-He never meant a thing to me.

-Yes he did.

0:21:210:21:24

You were always saying...

0:21:240:21:26

Shouldn't you be running back to your dad?

0:21:300:21:34

What is wrong with you?

0:21:350:21:36

PHONE RINGS

0:21:380:21:41

Hiya, Mandy. Yep.

0:21:410:21:43

Yeah. Yeah, I'll be right over.

0:21:460:21:48

MUSIC PLAYS: "Teardrop" by Massive Attack

0:21:480:21:51

I take it this is one of your ex-wife's?

0:21:510:21:53

You ever been out with anyone yourself?

0:21:550:21:58

So I was right about you. You are oversensitive.

0:21:580:22:00

Oversensitive?! Ah, I'm hurt(!)

0:22:000:22:03

You want a top up?

0:22:030:22:04

Um...

0:22:040:22:06

Nah, I think I'll change to lager.

0:22:060:22:08

Lager? It's the easy listening of the beer world.

0:22:080:22:12

Says the man who likes pizza.

0:22:120:22:15

Could we put my music on now, please?

0:22:150:22:17

Mm-hm.

0:22:170:22:18

Yeah, this is it - real ale, pizza, music, good friends.

0:22:210:22:25

It's my kind of party.

0:22:250:22:27

If it was a party, there'd be girls.

0:22:270:22:29

You haven't heard the music yet.

0:22:290:22:32

GUITAR RIFF PLAYS: "Joker & The Thief" by Wolfmother

0:22:320:22:35

I've not been inside yet.

0:22:390:22:40

Look, it's probably just the circuit breakers. Do you want me to have a look for you?

0:22:400:22:44

I went to see your old teacher today.

0:22:440:22:46

What?

0:22:460:22:47

Doing a talk.

0:22:470:22:49

And?

0:22:490:22:51

Like I said...

0:22:510:22:52

But he did say one thing about...taking responsibility?

0:22:520:22:57

"Owning the problem"?

0:22:570:22:58

Yeah.

0:22:580:22:59

Trust me, he's better at saying it than doing it.

0:22:590:23:02

He told me to call you.

0:23:020:23:05

Really?

0:23:050:23:06

Mm. And he gave me my money back.

0:23:060:23:07

Wow.

0:23:080:23:09

Did you bring it?

0:23:100:23:12

Yeah.

0:23:120:23:13

Do you want me to come in with you?

0:23:140:23:17

I can do it.

0:23:170:23:18

Nice one.

0:23:180:23:20

SQUEAK

0:23:330:23:34

Chris?

0:23:360:23:37

I'm here, mate!

0:23:370:23:38

< Found it!

0:23:490:23:52

Right, time to get you buried.

0:23:590:24:02

SQUEAKING

0:24:020:24:05

SHE GASPS

0:24:050:24:06

< Mandy?

0:24:060:24:07

It's all right!

0:24:080:24:09

SQUEAKING

0:24:090:24:12

It's going to be all right!

0:24:210:24:24

SQUEAKING

0:24:240:24:26

It's going to be all right.

0:24:260:24:27

Read the T-shirt. It says I'm in charge.

0:24:320:24:35

Why don't you mind your own business?

0:24:380:24:40

Since when did you become my agony aunt?

0:24:400:24:42

You OK?

0:24:420:24:43

-HE PANTS

-You go... You go at your own pace.

0:24:430:24:47

Who the devil are you?

0:24:480:24:50

You're like a bunch of termites. You just keep biting until I snap.

0:24:500:24:54

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0:25:100:25:15

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