A Suburban Affair Doctors


A Suburban Affair

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Transcript


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16 minutes.

0:00:360:00:37

We're going to do this, yes?

0:00:380:00:40

We've made the appointment...

0:00:410:00:43

-but if you're not sure...

-Oh, I'm sure.

0:00:430:00:46

Cathy, for what it's worth I think you're amazing.

0:00:460:00:52

You know, we don't have to rush into this.

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Are you kidding me?

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I've been looking forward to a massage

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and an undisturbed coffee for weeks.

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Besides, I've booked the salon.

0:01:030:01:05

-We can change the appointment if you don't feel Joe's ready.

-What do you mean by "we"?

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It is me that was up at 2am this morning up to my elbows in baby pooh,

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me that is wired to a pump five times a day like a dairy-cow,

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and me that is looking forward to a few hours of me time, thank you very much.

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-What's wrong with that?

-Nothing.

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-Good. So, stop fussing then.

-I'm not.

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He's just he's never been left with anyone apart from us before.

0:01:220:01:26

DOORBELL RINGS She's early!

0:01:260:01:28

I'll go, I'll go.

0:01:280:01:30

Hello, come in!

0:01:310:01:33

Joe, look who's here to see you.

0:01:330:01:36

Hey, Joe! Hey, Zara.

0:01:360:01:39

-So, I'm going to leave my phone on today, if you need anything just call.

-What are you doing, Daniel?!

0:01:390:01:43

Just making sure that Aliona's OK.

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-Aliona knows perfectly well what to do. Don't embarrass her.

-I'm not.

0:01:450:01:49

It's fine.

0:01:490:01:51

Sorry, Aliona, apologies, he's not fully weaned yet.

0:01:510:01:53

I'm just trying to make sure...

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We'll take it from here, Supernanny. You can go and be a good doctor.

0:01:550:01:58

-Have a good day. Love you, bye.

-Bye-bye.

0:01:580:02:01

Hey!

0:02:130:02:14

What?

0:02:170:02:18

First eggs, now flowers?

0:02:180:02:21

"Dress to the nines"! Who does this man think he is?

0:02:230:02:26

Never mind that, who is he?

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He is one of the most puffed-up, self-opinionated,

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arrogant men I've ever met!

0:02:300:02:32

Yes, but is he dishy?

0:02:320:02:34

That's the best place for those.

0:02:350:02:36

Anti-bac wipes, my number, Daniel's number, emergency numbers...

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and I've left instructions for the bottle warmer, in case you need.

0:02:390:02:42

Great. I'm sure I'll be fine. You go and enjoy yourself!

0:02:420:02:45

I might just change his nappy before I...

0:02:450:02:47

It's fine, I'll do it. You go.

0:02:470:02:50

OK, well, the spare nappies are...

0:02:500:02:53

Underneath the changing table, I remember.

0:02:530:02:55

Don't worry, we're going to be just dandy, aren't we, Jo-Joe?

0:02:550:03:00

I'll leave my mobile on, just in case you need me.

0:03:000:03:03

Wave bye-bye to Mummy.

0:03:030:03:05

-Bye-bye!

-Bye-bye.

0:03:050:03:07

-Bye-bye!

-Bye.

0:03:090:03:11

I've told you, I'm depressed!

0:03:190:03:23

OK. And when did the depression start up again?

0:03:230:03:25

-Last week.

-Last week?

0:03:250:03:27

No, actually a bit before that. I can't remember exactly.

0:03:270:03:31

OK, right.

0:03:310:03:32

And in terms of lifestyle, your diet, exercise, have you...

0:03:320:03:35

Look love, I'm a grown woman,

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I'm getting panic attacks and the tablets stop them.

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I don't want to sit just contemplating my navel,

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I want them to STOP!

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Listen, I don't want to waste the doctor's time and all that,

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I'm not a nut job, if you'll pardon the expression,

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so why don't you just be a treasure

0:03:530:03:56

and give me a prescription so that I can get better, hm?

0:03:560:04:00

(Please.)

0:04:000:04:01

Mrs Dayman, these are heavy-duty psychoactive drugs,

0:04:020:04:07

-I can't just prescribe them...

-I've had 'em before!

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-Yes, five years ago, 2007...

-Oh, for crying out loud!

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It's no wonder the NHS is in a mess.

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-Yeah, we don't seem to be getting on very...

-Well, it's your fault! You're making me stressed.

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I won't prescribe tablets

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when you won't at least entertain the idea of some lifestyle changes.

0:04:190:04:23

Are you looking at my breasts?

0:04:230:04:24

I beg your pardon?

0:04:240:04:26

It's my word against yours.

0:04:260:04:28

I'm sorry, is this... Is this blackmail?

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I know my human rights.

0:04:320:04:34

-Consultation's over, I'd like you to leave.

-Not without my prescription.

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-I can make you an appointment with a female doctor if you'd...

-No!

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OK.

0:04:410:04:43

Mrs Tembe, would you come in here, please? Yes, right away.

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Oh, forget it! Honestly!

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The state of this country!

0:04:490:04:51

Bingo!

0:05:000:05:02

-Oh! Well done!

-Get in the car, quick!

-What's happened?

0:05:020:05:04

Just get in the car, get in the car!

0:05:040:05:06

-What...?

-Drive, drive, drive!

0:05:060:05:08

Drive! Just drive!

0:05:080:05:09

Hi, it's me, I just wanted a quick...

0:05:120:05:14

-Are you busy?

-That depends.

0:05:140:05:16

Sorry to disturb, it's just I've got Stephen Bickley with me.

0:05:160:05:19

Oh, right, you'd better come in.

0:05:190:05:21

He was one of yours, right?

0:05:220:05:23

Thankfully not any more.

0:05:230:05:25

Well, he's saying you told him

0:05:250:05:27

-that he doesn't need to take his medication.

-Oh!

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-I didn't think you'd say that.

-What I, in fact, agreed to, under duress,

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was to give him a few months to get his symptoms under control

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using astral breathing, or whatever it is he lionises,

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before we reassess his blood pressure.

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-It's sky-high.

-Then it's up to you to fight the good fight

0:05:410:05:45

and persuade him as to the merits of 21st-century medicine.

0:05:450:05:48

-ACE inhibitors?

-Correct.

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That's what I thought. I just thought I'd check first. Thanks.

0:05:500:05:53

Not that I didn't know what to prescribe him.

0:05:530:05:56

Julia told you about my exams, right?

0:05:560:05:58

-I aced them.

-No, she didn't.

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Oh, really? Oh?

0:06:000:06:01

I suppose it was whilst all that stuff was happening with you and...

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So, you weren't here.

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You don't want to keep Mr Bickley waiting.

0:06:090:06:11

Yeah.

0:06:110:06:12

Oh! Didn't see your kitchen before.

0:06:210:06:23

What?

0:06:230:06:25

-Straight upstairs was it?

-Oh, no... I didn't mean... Sorry.

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CATHY LAUGHS

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Oh, it's all right, love, I'm only joking you!

0:06:300:06:32

Besides...

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..you're not the first.

0:06:360:06:38

Here, open this.

0:06:390:06:42

-So, he hasn't shown you his rogues gallery then?

-Erm...

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No.

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Oh, I'm surprised.

0:06:500:06:52

It's usually the first place he shows people.

0:06:520:06:54

A proper little Marlon Brando he thinks he is.

0:06:550:06:59

Now, let me guess, he told you he was in the film industry.

0:06:590:07:03

How did you know?

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I've been married to him 26 years!

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He makes wedding videos.

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I'm so gullible.

0:07:110:07:13

It's not your fault, come here, he's a charmer!

0:07:130:07:17

BOTH: Whoo!

0:07:170:07:19

So, are we really going to do this?

0:07:200:07:22

Oh, I reckon we are, yes!

0:07:220:07:25

What do you think?

0:07:250:07:26

-She really likes him.

-Ooh!

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I don't!

0:07:300:07:31

I don't even know this man.

0:07:330:07:35

Methinks the Practice Manager doth protest too much.

0:07:350:07:38

What does he drive?

0:07:380:07:39

A car!

0:07:390:07:40

Oh, sounds perfect!

0:07:400:07:42

Can we just drop this, please?

0:07:420:07:43

Oh, come on, Julia, you've got to give people a chance.

0:07:430:07:47

No, I don't!

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I happen to believe that first impressions are very important.

0:07:480:07:52

You don't just start something with the wrong person

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hoping they'll change because we all know that THAT never happens.

0:07:540:07:58

I left my cup in my room.

0:08:000:08:02

SHE MOUTHS

0:08:030:08:04

Let's get this straight.

0:08:050:08:07

I go to aerobics, as per.

0:08:090:08:11

You send him a saucy text - tell him you're hot and frisky.

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He'll come over, tail wagging.

0:08:150:08:17

Little bit of champagne cocktail,

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little bit of how's-your-mother's-live-in-lover

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and before you know it you get carried away and...

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Ta-dah!

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THEY TITTER

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Wait for the tablets kick in, make sure he's tied up safely,

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then you call me, I come round and we begin Operation Payback.

0:08:320:08:37

How's that sound?

0:08:390:08:40

Sounds like a plan!

0:08:400:08:42

Oh, and I've been having a sneaky little practise with his camera.

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-Better get to it.

-Ha-ha-ha!

0:08:470:08:50

Oh, you know what, Shirl?

0:08:500:08:52

Getting to know you these last few weeks

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almost makes up for what he's done to me.

0:08:550:08:58

I haven't laughed like this for years.

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Well, 26 years in fact!

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No, no, no, that's not fair.

0:09:030:09:04

Give him his due, he was all right on his wedding night! THEY LAUGH

0:09:040:09:08

How's this?

0:09:080:09:10

Oh, no, you can't be subtle, love.

0:09:110:09:13

Men are dogs, they like a bit of filth.

0:09:130:09:17

It's called sexting, they love it.

0:09:170:09:21

PHONE BEEPS

0:09:210:09:22

There you are, you see? Someone's keen.

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It worked!

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That's revolting.

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Oh. That's Mike.

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Right...

0:09:330:09:35

game on, as they say!

0:09:350:09:37

PHONE RINGS

0:09:430:09:44

Julia!

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Hi, Zara, it's only me.

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Listen, I'm just firming up a date for the next Partner's Meeting,

0:09:490:09:54

'just wondered if you wanted to be there?'

0:09:540:09:55

I...

0:09:550:09:57

'Well, I mean, if you don't it's OK'

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but if you do then I can make it a date that fits in with you and Joe.

0:09:580:10:02

I've left him.

0:10:020:10:04

You've left Daniel?!

0:10:050:10:07

No, Joe! I've left him all on his own.

0:10:070:10:09

-With the nanny?

-Mmm.

0:10:110:10:13

-Uh-huh, he'll be fine.

-But I'm not!

0:10:130:10:16

'Don't beat yourself up.'

0:10:160:10:17

Look, I can leave committing to a date till next week, if that's OK?

0:10:170:10:21

Thank you.

0:10:210:10:23

And, please...try and enjoy yourself, OK?

0:10:230:10:26

Oh, Josephine, je t'aime.

0:10:310:10:34

J'ai retourne de Waterloo et je suis faim.

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Je suis faim de femme.

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What?

0:10:410:10:42

I'm hungry for a woman.

0:10:420:10:44

Oh, right!

0:10:440:10:46

Do you mind if we do this in English?

0:10:470:10:49

Well, we can do it however you want, you filthy little fox!

0:10:490:10:53

The text thou hast sent me has given me the horn.

0:10:530:10:59

-(FRENCH ACCENT)

-Sire, you have conquered Europe

0:10:590:11:02

but can you conquer me?

0:11:020:11:04

Oh, I like it, Josephine!

0:11:040:11:08

I have brought you the finest Champagne from France...

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Burgundy! You see, we're in France.

0:11:120:11:15

..to celebrate your victory, my Lord.

0:11:150:11:17

Are you sure you want to do this...m'lord?

0:11:190:11:22

I want you.

0:11:220:11:24

Bien sur, baby.

0:11:260:11:28

-Just making sure he's OK.

-KNOCK ON DOOR

0:11:300:11:32

Hold on. Come in.

0:11:320:11:34

I'm just on the phone.

0:11:350:11:36

I am sorry for interrupting you but it is important, Dr Granger.

0:11:360:11:40

Look, I'll call you back. Bye.

0:11:410:11:44

The pharmacy have been trying to call you all morning.

0:11:440:11:46

They are worried that there may be a mistake

0:11:460:11:48

with a prescription for a Mrs Dayman.

0:11:480:11:51

I didn't give Mrs Dayman a prescription.

0:11:510:11:54

You got to be joking.

0:11:590:12:01

Get her on the phone right away, please.

0:12:010:12:03

# Not just where you pump and grind it! #

0:12:050:12:09

How's it going, Shirl?

0:12:110:12:12

'Do we have lift-off?'

0:12:120:12:14

He's gone floppy!

0:12:140:12:15

'What?! What are you talking about?'

0:12:150:12:17

I don't know, he's not right he's...floppy! What do I do?

0:12:170:12:20

What's happened? How much did he have?

0:12:210:12:23

All of it.

0:12:230:12:24

ALL OF IT?!

0:12:240:12:26

He was only supposed to have a bit!

0:12:260:12:28

I couldn't stop him - I didn't want him to guess, did I?

0:12:280:12:32

I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do!

0:12:320:12:35

Call an ambulance! Have you called an ambulance?!

0:12:350:12:38

(He's stopped breathing!)

0:12:380:12:40

'WHAT?! Shirl?'

0:12:400:12:42

Oh!

0:12:440:12:45

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh!

0:12:450:12:48

PHONE RINGS

0:12:480:12:49

Shirley?

0:12:490:12:51

-'Mrs Dayman? This is Dr Granger from the Mill Health Centre.'

-Who?

0:12:510:12:54

You came here this morning.

0:12:540:12:55

I need you to come back to the surgery as soon as possible.

0:12:550:12:57

You know them tranquilisers you gave me this morning...

0:12:570:13:00

I didn't give you the tranquilisers, you stole...

0:13:000:13:02

What happens when you take them with booze?

0:13:020:13:05

-'Could it kill you?'

-Have you taken some tablets...

0:13:050:13:08

Mrs Dayman, have you taken an overdose?

0:13:080:13:10

'Mrs Dayman?'

0:13:100:13:11

Ohh!

0:13:110:13:12

Mrs Dayman?!

0:13:150:13:16

I don't believe it.

0:13:170:13:19

OK, can you call an ambulance, please,

0:13:190:13:20

to the address of Mrs Cathy Dayman.

0:13:200:13:23

Mike?

0:13:280:13:29

Mike!

0:13:300:13:32

Mike! MIKE!

0:13:320:13:34

Mike! Mike! Mike! MIKE! MIKE!

0:13:340:13:38

Oh!

0:13:380:13:39

Mike! Oh!

0:13:390:13:40

Oh! Oh!

0:13:400:13:41

Mike!

0:13:410:13:43

-Mrs Dayman, what's happened? What's going on?

-MIKE! Oh!

0:13:430:13:46

-Have you taken the tablets?

-Oh, ooh, what have I done? What have I done?!

0:13:460:13:50

I need you to calm down and tell me what happened.

0:13:500:13:52

If someone's taken those tablets, I need to know.

0:13:520:13:54

OK, let's get you inside. Come on.

0:13:540:13:57

-I'm fine, I'm fine. Honestly, It's just...

-Whoa!

0:13:580:14:02

No, it's all right.

0:14:020:14:03

I've got wobbly legs.

0:14:030:14:04

It's genetic. SHE PANTS

0:14:040:14:07

I-I-I-I'm fine.

0:14:070:14:08

-OK, you definitely haven't taken anything?

-No.

0:14:080:14:11

OK. So what's going on? Who was in the ambulance?

0:14:110:14:15

I-I-I-I think it might have been my...husband.

0:14:150:14:20

Has he taken an overdose?

0:14:200:14:21

Possibly.

0:14:210:14:23

And was it the tranquilisers that you had on your prescription?

0:14:230:14:27

-We need to get to the hospital and let them know what he's taken.

-No, no! It's all right!

0:14:270:14:31

I'll take a bus.

0:14:310:14:32

I've got to put my face on first.

0:14:320:14:34

Your husband's just taken an overdose!

0:14:340:14:36

Oh, well, he does it all the time. He's an attention seeker! SHE LAUGHS

0:14:360:14:40

This is not a laughing matter.

0:14:400:14:41

Your husband's in hospital

0:14:410:14:43

having taken an overdose from a STOLEN prescription.

0:14:430:14:45

The Police are going to have to get involved.

0:14:450:14:47

I don't think you understand the severity of the situation.

0:14:470:14:50

And I think you should think twice

0:14:500:14:52

before leaving your briefcase open and wasting valuable NHS resources!

0:14:520:14:58

You come in here, you accuse me of all sorts!

0:14:580:15:02

I am in a very emotional state.

0:15:020:15:04

My husband is seriously ill in hospital.

0:15:040:15:07

So, if you don't mind, I would like to be left in peace!

0:15:070:15:11

Unbelievable.

0:15:110:15:12

-KNOCK ON DOOR

-Enter.

0:15:160:15:18

I just thought you might like to know

0:15:180:15:20

that Mr Bickley left the building with prescription hand!

0:15:200:15:23

Bully for you.

0:15:230:15:24

Look, Heston, I know what you might be thinking

0:15:260:15:28

but no-one was talking about you.

0:15:280:15:29

Well, that's very reassuring

0:15:290:15:31

-but I think I can guess exactly what they are talking about.

-Marina?

0:15:310:15:34

Is there nothing else you want to discuss or did you just want to gloat over my past mistakes?

0:15:340:15:38

No, I wasn't gloating, I was...

0:15:380:15:41

I was just seeing if you were OK. Look, I'll leave you to it.

0:15:410:15:45

Kevin.

0:15:450:15:46

I'm being a bit of a chump, aren't I?

0:15:470:15:49

Chump?

0:15:510:15:52

Listen, everyone round here loves you, mate.

0:15:550:15:57

No-one's talking about you.

0:15:570:16:00

-That's very kind of you to say that.

-It's true.

0:16:010:16:04

Look, I know what it's like when you can't face coming in.

0:16:050:16:08

-I've been there, it's not easy.

-No, it isn't...

0:16:080:16:11

but the thought of coming back was far worse.

0:16:110:16:13

In reality, everyone has been charming and discreet.

0:16:130:16:18

As long as you're all right.

0:16:180:16:20

Kevin.

0:16:210:16:22

Thank you for being honest.

0:16:230:16:25

Yeah, on that point,

0:16:250:16:27

I haven't really had the chance to talk to you

0:16:270:16:29

about the whole disciplinary thing.

0:16:290:16:33

Case closed, as far as I'm concerned.

0:16:330:16:35

Top man!

0:16:360:16:37

# I can't give any more

0:16:420:16:46

# I can't live if living is without you... #

0:16:460:16:50

SHE SOBS

0:16:500:16:51

# I can't give

0:16:510:16:54

# I can't l... #

0:16:540:16:55

Oh, hey! You're back early. How was the salon?

0:17:040:17:07

Oh, sublime. Is Joe all right?

0:17:070:17:09

Yeah, he's been absolutely fine.

0:17:090:17:11

We've been having a grand old time together.

0:17:110:17:13

He's just having his half-past-one nap.

0:17:130:17:15

I TOLD you to put him to sleep on his back!

0:17:150:17:17

Well, I did.

0:17:170:17:18

What did I tell you about putting babies to sleep on their front?!

0:17:180:17:22

Zara, I put him on his back. He rolled.

0:17:220:17:25

I didn't want to disturb him, which is why I am sitting watching him.

0:17:250:17:27

Oh, it's fine, I can take over from here now.

0:17:270:17:30

Zara, are you all right?

0:17:310:17:33

Of course I am. You can go now, we're fine on our own.

0:17:330:17:36

I'm not due to leave until four, so I can stay if you need a hand?

0:17:360:17:39

No, we're fine, thank you.

0:17:400:17:42

I'm sure it can't have been easy leaving him.

0:17:420:17:45

We're perfectly fine, thank you.

0:17:450:17:48

I'll let myself out, then.

0:17:480:17:51

(It's all right.)

0:17:510:17:53

All right. Much prefer...

0:17:550:17:57

They're going to know it was me!

0:17:580:17:59

Cathy, it was me that gave him the drink.

0:17:590:18:02

I stole the prescription, the tablets are in my name!

0:18:020:18:05

You were at aerobics, we can prove that.

0:18:050:18:07

I killed him. I killed my Mikey!

0:18:070:18:10

-I'm going to call the police.

-No!

0:18:110:18:13

I'm not going to see you go down for this. It was an accident!

0:18:130:18:15

We're in this together. I'm going to see you out of this.

0:18:150:18:18

I can't live without him.

0:18:180:18:20

I love him. I LOVE him! I LOVE HIM!

0:18:200:18:23

Pull yourself together!

0:18:240:18:26

Listen, you being in prison

0:18:260:18:28

isn't going to make the situation any better.

0:18:280:18:30

Come with me.

0:18:300:18:32

You were at aerobics, Mike was at home on his own.

0:18:350:18:39

He was depressed, he took an overdose. End of.

0:18:390:18:43

Nobody will question it.

0:18:430:18:45

If we stick to our side of the story. Can you do that?

0:18:450:18:47

Cathy, can you do that?!

0:18:470:18:49

Right, this is our story.

0:18:490:18:52

I'm a friend of the family.

0:18:520:18:54

I rang Mike, the phone went dead, I got worried.

0:18:540:18:57

Came round, found him lying here.

0:18:570:18:59

You have gone to your parents' in Malaga to grieve.

0:18:590:19:03

I'll take care of everything here until the dust settles.

0:19:030:19:08

Soon as the coast is clear, I'll call you back.

0:19:080:19:10

How'd you know they live in Malaga?

0:19:100:19:12

Yes, can I have a cab, please?

0:19:130:19:15

16 Coleworth Drive.

0:19:150:19:18

To go to Birmingham airport.

0:19:180:19:21

(Passport?)

0:19:210:19:22

As soon as possible.

0:19:230:19:25

Thank you.

0:19:260:19:28

Take it!

0:19:280:19:29

Right...

0:19:310:19:33

are we in accord?

0:19:330:19:34

-What?

-I said are we in accord?!

0:19:340:19:38

Mmm.

0:19:380:19:39

Say it then! Say, "We are in accord."

0:19:390:19:41

-We are in accord.

-Let's go!

0:19:410:19:44

I'll reserve you a ticket at the airport.

0:19:470:19:50

Be strong.

0:19:500:19:51

We can do this!

0:19:510:19:53

Yes, you can help me.

0:19:590:20:02

I'd like a one-way ticket to Malaga, please.

0:20:020:20:06

PHONE RINGS

0:20:060:20:07

'How's he doing?'

0:20:100:20:11

Oh, erm, is that the time? I must have fallen asleep.

0:20:110:20:16

It's so quiet here.

0:20:160:20:17

-You're not going to believe the kind of day I'm having.

-Can it wait?

0:20:170:20:21

I'm in the middle of a massage.

0:20:210:20:23

'Er, yeah, sure.'

0:20:230:20:24

I just wanted to check how Joe getting on with Aliona?

0:20:240:20:27

Exactly the same as the last time you called.

0:20:270:20:30

'I told you, they're having a grand old time together.'

0:20:300:20:33

'Oooh.'

0:20:330:20:34

Oh, yes, that's the spot! Ah.

0:20:340:20:37

So, is there anything else?

0:20:370:20:39

-No, not really.

-Good.

0:20:390:20:41

Because I'm hoping to fit in a leg wax before I come home.

0:20:410:20:43

Good, OK, all right, I'll speak to you later.

0:20:430:20:46

Bye.

0:20:460:20:47

Stop the car!

0:20:570:20:59

Stop now!

0:20:590:21:01

KNOCK ON DOOR Yep.

0:21:010:21:04

-Oh, hi, Heston!

-Yeah, Kevin, hi.

0:21:040:21:07

-Erm... Can I ask you a quick question?

-Yeah, go for it.

0:21:070:21:10

Erm, I don't want to make a song and dance about it

0:21:100:21:13

but how do you think people would feel

0:21:130:21:16

about a welcome-back staff drink for me tomorrow night?

0:21:160:21:20

Champagne on me.

0:21:200:21:22

Well, actually, at first I was thinking,

0:21:220:21:25

"No way they'll go for that," but now that you mention free booze...

0:21:250:21:28

-I'm sure that'll swing it!

-(Would you mind putting the word out?)

0:21:280:21:31

My pleasure.

0:21:310:21:33

I did steal 'em...

0:21:390:21:41

and I'm sorry

0:21:410:21:43

but I never meant him no harm,

0:21:430:21:46

I was just wanted to teach him a lesson, that's all!

0:21:460:21:49

But I never meant for him to die!

0:21:500:21:53

I love him!

0:21:540:21:55

And, before you say anything,

0:21:550:21:57

I just want you to know I've called the police and told them everything

0:21:570:22:01

and they're on their way round to the house.

0:22:010:22:03

Hang on, did you say "die"?

0:22:030:22:04

It was an accident!

0:22:040:22:05

Just a stupid, stupid accident...

0:22:050:22:09

Cathy, Mike's not dead. Why would you think that?

0:22:090:22:13

He was discharged from the hospital a couple of hours ago

0:22:130:22:15

I just spoke to them.

0:22:150:22:17

He's absolutely fine.

0:22:170:22:18

Not dead?

0:22:220:22:24

No.

0:22:240:22:25

What's going on?

0:22:280:22:30

My house is up for sale! Here, give me that!

0:22:300:22:33

-I'm bloody going to kill him!

-Hold on - whoa, whoa, whoa!

0:22:330:22:36

Hold on! Hold on!

0:22:360:22:37

Let's find out what's going on first.

0:22:370:22:40

What has he done to me, Daniel?

0:22:400:22:43

OK, just give me the sign.

0:22:430:22:45

This one's got a brick barbecue!

0:22:470:22:50

Australia is the home of the barbecue, Shirl. They respect it.

0:22:500:22:53

You're going to find it as a central garden feature

0:22:530:22:56

in most of the properties.

0:22:560:22:57

But didn't expect to find it in our price range.

0:22:570:23:00

Well, it is now!

0:23:000:23:02

THEY GIGGLE

0:23:020:23:03

I see.

0:23:030:23:05

Cathy!

0:23:050:23:07

Hello, love.

0:23:070:23:08

What's going on?

0:23:090:23:10

Erm...

0:23:100:23:13

Erm, I'm...

0:23:130:23:14

I'm just on the internet.

0:23:150:23:18

I thought you were in Spain.

0:23:180:23:19

I thought you were dead.

0:23:190:23:22

I'm better now.

0:23:230:23:25

You planned this?

0:23:250:23:27

-Well, she did mostly...

-Yes, we did.

0:23:280:23:31

There's no point denying it, Mick.

0:23:310:23:33

You actually planned all this?

0:23:330:23:37

Right.

0:23:370:23:38

It's beginning to make sense now!

0:23:380:23:40

Is it? Enlighten me. Someone.

0:23:400:23:43

You thought you'd scare me off

0:23:440:23:45

so you can run away together and sell my house. Is that it?

0:23:450:23:48

You've got to be joking.

0:23:480:23:49

Cathy, Mick and I are in love.

0:23:490:23:52

We are moving to Australia.

0:23:520:23:54

Oh, so it wasn't just the one-night stand, eh?

0:23:540:23:57

How long's this been going on?

0:23:570:24:00

-Mick and I have been...

-AHH!

0:24:000:24:03

I am talking to my husband.

0:24:030:24:06

How long?

0:24:080:24:09

Six months.

0:24:110:24:13

A year!

0:24:130:24:14

How could you?

0:24:140:24:16

Cath, we both know it's been going nowhere for a long time.

0:24:160:24:22

Yes, but I thought you were dead.

0:24:220:24:25

I didn't actually SAY he was dead.

0:24:250:24:27

Oh, so, that makes it all right, then, does it?!

0:24:270:24:30

-Well, you were happy enough to poison Mick!

-Yeah!

-Mick?!

0:24:300:24:33

Mick?! It's MIKE!

0:24:330:24:35

Oh, I wish I had killed you now.

0:24:350:24:37

Mr Dayman,

0:24:370:24:39

both the hospital staff and I were convinced you'd had an overdose.

0:24:390:24:42

So, I think we deserve an explanation.

0:24:420:24:44

Acting.

0:24:460:24:47

But the blood test from the hospital...

0:24:470:24:50

Oh, I had a bit of a drink,

0:24:500:24:52

in case they tested my blood, like, but the rest was acting.

0:24:520:24:57

My husband...ex-husband fancies himself as a bit of an actor.

0:24:570:25:01

-I do dabble, as they say, doctor.

-Shut up, you prat!

0:25:010:25:05

The only thing is, Dr Granger,

0:25:050:25:07

that nobody's ever had the guts to tell him how bad he is.

0:25:070:25:10

Have they, Shirley?

0:25:100:25:11

Well, that's uncalled for.

0:25:130:25:15

OK, this is beyond anything... The police are going to deal with this.

0:25:150:25:19

You're all as bad as each other!

0:25:190:25:21

Police?!

0:25:230:25:25

Did you think I was going to get away with not calling them?

0:25:250:25:28

Did you think I was going to try and get away with killing you?!

0:25:280:25:31

-Well, tell 'em it was a mistake. We'll sort it out.

-I'd rather not.

0:25:310:25:35

And you!

0:25:350:25:36

I thought you were my friend. I trusted you!

0:25:360:25:39

Oh, officers, I think there's someone here who'd like to make a confession.

0:25:410:25:47

Hello?

0:25:520:25:53

Hey, sorry I'm late.

0:25:550:25:57

I had the most insane day.

0:25:570:25:59

Jeremy Kyle has nothing on these people!

0:25:590:26:01

-Shh! You'll wake Joe.

-Where is he?

-I've just put him down.

0:26:010:26:05

-Oh, I was hoping to get a cuddle before he went to bed.

-He was dropping off. It's late.

0:26:050:26:09

OK. Well, I guess I'll just have to cuddle you instead!

0:26:090:26:12

-Wait, just waiting for my nails to dry!

-OK.

0:26:120:26:16

So, how was Joe when you got back?

0:26:170:26:19

Fine. Aliona's great with him.

0:26:200:26:22

And he's good with her?

0:26:220:26:24

Yeah.

0:26:250:26:26

Great. So, how was your massage?

0:26:270:26:32

Oh...

0:26:320:26:33

Oh, it was EXHAUSTING!

0:26:330:26:34

Must have been all the stress coming out.

0:26:340:26:36

-Yeah, must be.

-Actually, I'm ready to drop.

0:26:360:26:39

I think I'll just run myself a bath and go to bed.

0:26:390:26:42

-Sorry, didn't have time to cook or anything.

-It's fine.

0:26:420:26:45

I think there's...

0:26:450:26:46

some bread, or something, in the fridge.

0:26:460:26:49

Great.

0:26:500:26:52

Oh, very sleek and gorgeous! Is that for your date with egg man?

0:27:010:27:04

You OK? You look awful.

0:27:040:27:07

Is the incomparable Julia around?

0:27:070:27:09

You must be...

0:27:090:27:10

Martin Millar.

0:27:100:27:11

-What's wrong with her?

-How much alcohol has she had?

0:27:110:27:14

None. She doesn't drink.

0:27:140:27:15

Are we all going to The Icon Bar? Works do, sorry.

0:27:150:27:18

Your friend Martin is coming with!

0:27:180:27:20

WINDOW SMASHING

0:27:200:27:21

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