My Cherie Amour Doctors

Morning, old girl.

Happy Birthday.

There we go.

Right, you.

Brown stripes with blue stripes? What was Daddy thinking?

Daddy wasn't exactly expecting a visit from Gok Wan.

I'm going to miss you.

Thank you.

Right, let's see if Daddy is as good at changing

nappies as he is at cracking jokes?

Mummy forgets that Daddy's done this all before.

Did he have all his milk?

Yeah, he's full.

-What's wrong, little man?

-It's obvious, isn't it?

-What is?

-He's got good taste. He prefers me to you.

BABY CRIES

OK, OK.

All right. Shh, shh...

Hey. I thought I was picking you up from the station.

Well, there's a lot of mud.

-We've had a lot of rain.

-Ah.

Oh, thank you, sweetheart.

Oh, wow. It's coming on.

Well, slow progress.

How was your journey?

Good. Wasn't as difficult as I thought.

-I see you put your welly down?

-Ha-ha, very funny

Oh, we have a new addition.

Yes, this is Bertha, my current des res.

Looks cosy.

Julia Parsons, I never thought you were the woman that would judge

a man by the size of his caravan.

Right, first things, first, put this on. Health and safety.

I had it personalised especially.

Oh, the glamour of it all.

You're in the country now, my girl, you better get used to it.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Come and see the house.

Then we need to know where you currently live.

But I only want to see the nurse. The one with the long, blonde hair.

Do you mean Nurse Clay?

Yeah, that's her. Is she working today?

The form. Please.

But I've been coming here for years. Me Nan was a regular here.

You causing trouble?

You know me.

Do you need a hand?

Nah. They did manage to teach me something at school.

All this form-filling.

Everybody wanting to know everything about you, where you are,

what you're up to.

Busy-bodies.

My Nan says you can't break wind

without filling in an application form these days.

Come on. Follow me, Trouble.

SHE SIGHS

I think my chances of playing for City are out the window.

Chilblains.

-Had 'em ages. Itch like hell.

-Then why didn't you come and see me earlier?

-I've been busy looking after me Nan.

-How is Nellie?

She's in a home, now.

-Oh, I didn't know that.

-Yeah.

Miles away it is. Horrible.

Most of 'em drugged up to their eye-balls

and they stink like hell.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Yeah, I wanted to look after her meself...

I could have done, you know, but what they're like,

it's all forms, and points, and duty of care.

And with me having my own problems...

Well, let's get you cleaned up and I'll book you in with a doctor.

You're a star.

Daniel took no heed of the evil Zara-beast.

And summoning all his magical powers,

he transformed her into a slimy toad.

And all the townsfolk cheered

and all agreed that Daniel should be crowned King immediately.

As for the evil Zara-beast, well, she never showed her warty

little face again and they all lived...happily ever after.

TV COMES ON

BABY CRIES

Oh, come on!

# My Cherie Amour

# Pretty little one that I adore... #

I am flattered. But it's Cherry, not Cherie.

Same difference. Cherie's French for Cherry, innit?

You're done.

My Nan loves a bit of Stevie.

She's not the only one.

It's her birthday today. I've made her this.

You drew that?

It only took five minutes.

You've got some talent there.

It's not bad. I got better ones in my portfolio.

Just that where I'm living now, it's all getting a bit damp.

I want to go back to college, you know, finish off my Art Foundation.

I were doing well till they started messing around with my medication.

How's that going?

All right.

The quacks up the hospital say I don't have to take it no more.

That I'm as sane as I'll ever be.

HE GIBBERS

Anyhow, my plan is to get a job as like a graphic designer, you know.

Fancy painting on the side of cars, you know,

the customised ones, like flames and that.

Very cool.

And with my first wage packet, I will you somewhere properly good.

-Really spoil you.

-Oh, yeah?

-Yeah.

You can have steak or curry and chips, tomato ketchup,

whatever you like.

Never mind wasting your money on me,

-you should concentrate on getting a new pair of trainers.

-What would I do that for?

Why would I get new trainers? These are classics.

I had the holes put in special, they're designer.

Young man, about this form...

-What about it?

-You may want to fill it in again.

No, ta. Big into the environment and all that, me.

Don't like wasting paper.

Speaking of which.

For your nan's card.

Thanks.

-What's that?

-What?

Ooh!

-You're an angel.

-Go on, get out of here.

-What?

-Nothing.

-It's his Nan's birthday.

-You remember Nellie Saddler.

-Such a lovely lady.

It is a pity her manners failed to rub off on her grandson.

Sonny's all right. He's just a little bit different.

Different? Is that what you call it?

All right?

OK if I have a look about?

"Yes, sir, help yourself, sir"(!)

"Don't mind if I do."

Wow, look at the high ceilings.

It's going to be fantastic when it's finished.

Good. I'm glad you like it.

Yeah.

You know, that view is breath-taking.

Yeah, imagine waking up to that in the morning instead of

a waiting room full of sweaty students and snotty-nosed kids.

Hey! Do you mind, thank you very much?!

It may not be much to you, Kevin McCloud,

but it's my waiting room full of sweaty students

and snotty-nosed kids!

You know, I'm surprised you didn't put a balcony out here.

-We can do.

-Well, it's south-facing, you'd get the sun all day.

Somewhere to have breakfast in the morning.

Or somewhere to have a nice bottle of red in the evening.

I saw a picture in a magazine once of this beautiful house

and it had this really amazing wooden platform balcony.

Don't think I saved it. I'll see if I can dig it out.

"If you build it, she will come."

-What's that?

-What?

Over there, there's something bobbing about.

-Have you been on the wacky-backy again?

-Look.

I don't know.

Let's go and investigate.

Machine says "declined".

Try it again, will ya?

-SHE HUFFS

-Pin.

Third time lucky, eh?

Look, I'm not being rude or anything but have you actually got any money?

Yeah, course. My boss paid me yesterday.

Obviously not.

There must be a mistake. I'll go to the bank, eh?

Do it the old-fashioned way.

Can you... Can you keep hold of these for me, yeah?

Right, yeah, whatever.

I won't hold my breath.

It was great having some quality time with her.

-She's growing up so fast.

-Tell me about it.

I got the shock of my life with Sarah.

One minute it was My Little Pony,

the next I was being phoned by her youth club

asking to come and take her home after she'd downed a bottle of vodka.

Ouch. I suppose we've got all that to come with Chloe.

Mind you, you know she's a tough little cookie.

She didn't complain once about her finger.

We sat there for over an hour just waiting to talk to a nurse.

-Good old NHS, eh?

-Yeah, well, it was chaos I can tell you.

I mean, nobody knew what they were doing, where they were going.

I can picture the job advert now.

"Oakview Cottage Hospital seeks Wonderwoman.

"Must have own bullet-deflecting bracelets and whip."

Well, it would be a challenge, that's for sure.

And you like one of those.

I'd have to be in charge of the whole Minor Injuries department!

Well, that's when you're not organising my dirty laundry and picking up my socks.

Hang on just a second!

North Wales may have its attractions,

but it would take more than the promise of a new job to persuade me

to move into a clapped-out, two-berth caravan with a dodgy chemical toilet!

You haven't seen my dodgy chemical toilet.

No, but I have seen Grand Designs!

How did that get there?

THEY LAUGH

Just take a seat.

Slow down, where is the fire?

I need to borrow your phone. It's an emergency.

I've run out of credit.

-That does not constitute an emergency, more an inconvenience.

-Oh, go on. Please.

-I am sorry, we are not a charity.

-I really need to make this phone call.

-Here, use mine.

-Are you sure?

Yeah. As long as it's not long distance.

You're my guardian angel.

What? I've got free minutes.

-You should not encourage him.

-Encourage him?

-It is not professional.

-I've only lent him my phone.

Mrs Parsons would not approve. Or Doctor Clay, for that matter.

Are you being serious?

Well, I ain't got any letters.

It was a harmless kiss on the cheek. He wanted to thank me for doing something nice.

No, no, no. You can't do this.

A simple "thank you" would have been sufficient.

I didn't encourage him. It was the Christian thing to do.

I've got nothing. Nothing!

I've got no food, no credit on me mobile.

My deodorant ran out this morning. Please.

What if he gets the wrong idea?

-..A crisis loan.

-About what?

About you being "nice".

Thanks for nothing!

-I see Sonny's back then.

-Yeah, he needed to make a call.

He didn't have any credit.

Thanks.

I'd best be off.

See you later.

What, not you as well?

Just be careful. He's erratic - especially if he's not taking his meds.

He's not on meds.

The doctor at St Phil's said he didn't need them anymore.

Really? It doesn't look that way to me.

What are you doing here?

Please, little man. Just go to sleep.

Just go to sleep.

BABY CRIES

What? A bucket list - you know, with Karen and Elaine.

A list of things to do before I kick the bucket.

-You are kidding me.

-No!

We each put in suggestions of things that we'd always wanted to do

but never done.

Like Elaine says, you've got to open yourself up to new possibilities

and embrace new challenges and not let life pass you by.

-Rubbish.

-Why?

As John Lennon says,

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans".

For example, Elaine.

What about Elaine?

Well, you've just got to take one look at her to know

she's scared of life, she doesn't deal with it.

I see where this is going. Oh yeah!

Have I hit a nerve?

Oh, yeah, here comes the lecture about how my friends

and I are hiding from life, right?

And we're just happy with our safe little houses

-and our safe little jobs.

-I didn't say that...

-And safe little Letherbridge, yeah?

-I didn't say that.

No, no, Martin Millar, no, no, no.

I am not like these other women who have fallen for your cocky charm

and your silver tongue, no, no, no, this lady is not for turning!

I love it when you're angry.

Yeah, well, I love it when you're quiet... Woah!

Ow!

HE LAUGHS

Oh, shut up and get over here and help me up!

Come here!

THEY LAUGH

That will teach you, that will teach you!

They've stopped my Support Allowance. They've sent me letters.

They wrote to me a couple of times but I didn't get them.

-And I suppose that's my fault, is it?

-No.

-Mam.

-Don't call me that.

I need to lend some money for some new trainers.

SHE LAUGHS

These ones have got holes. They're making me feet bad.

I need new trainers, you know, to fancy meself up a bit,

-for when I go for a job.

-Pull the other one.

Do you think I've got spare cash to be doling out to you

to spend on draw?

It's not for that, I swear.

I've given up. They said at the hospital it was bad you know,

with me condition.

Oh, here we go, the infamous "condition".

It's what they said. I'm not lying.

The only condition you suffer from is bone-idleness.

-Don't!

-Or what? What you going to do?

I've been taking my medication.

I want to get a job.

Well, then, get one,

save up and you can afford your own trainers.

It's me nan's birthday.

Is it?

-She's 72.

-I think I know how old my own mother is.

Yeah, well...I thought we might...

What? Bake her a cake? Sing her Happy Birthday?

We could go round and see her.

Together.

You know, or we could take her out

to one of those posh tea rooms, you know.

Get her some fancy sandwiches,

with the crusts cut off, a scone.

I don't like scones.

OK, fish and chips?

Car's on the blink.

We can get the bus!

It's her birthday.

I don't do birthdays.

And I don't want to go and see your precious nan.

Just leave me alone.

I wish that she was my mam, instead of you.

-Do you know what I admire you most, Julia Parsons?

-Do tell me.

You're a woman who knows her mind.

Oh, thank you very much.

So... I surrender.

I give up.

You give up?

You live your life in Letherbridge, and I live my life, here.

Well, there's nothing to say we have to be together

every minute of the day, is there?

No, I suppose not.

We can come to a civilised arrangement.

Every other weekend or so.

Right.

Cheers!

Cheers.

BABY CRIES

Look at him.

What? What are you looking at? Huh?

Come on, then! What have you got?

Not so big now, are we?

You took your time. Boss forget to put your wages in?

You can't go behind there.

That's staff only. I'll call the police.

# My Cherie... #

-KNOCK ON DOOR

-Come in.

I thought I might be able to interest you in some cake.

I'm all right, thank you.

All right then, go on, then.

I will get you a plate.

KNOCK ON DOOR

You don't need to knock every time you come in.

Sonny.

Sonny, you're bleeding.

It's nothing.

Is that your blood?

I've done something bad.

Have you hurt yourself or is someone else bleeding?

She... She wouldn't stop talking.

She said she was going to call the police.

-Sonny, just tell me what happened.

-She were right in my face.

She said she was going to call them.

I only wanted the box. But then she phoned the police.

I didn't know what to do or where to go.

I told her I had a knife.

I didn't hurt her.

I swear, I swear I didn't hurt one single hair on her stupid head.

I just... I wouldn't hurt anyone I swear on me nan's life.

But now they won't listen to me,

they won't understand,

they're going to put me away..

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!

Sonny! Sonny, listen, listen to me.

Have you still got the knife?

Yeah.

I didn't want to throw it. Me nan gave it me.

Will you give it to me?

-Where are you going?

-I'm just going to go and get some bandages

for your hands.

Right.

I won't be long.

Missing you already.

That's the problem, you know. I'm easily misunderstood.

-People get me intentions wrong and that.

-Sonny, just try to keep still.

That girl in the shop. Looking down her nose at me.

She didn't have to call the police.

-Then I wouldn't have done this, trying to get away.

-How?

Cut it on a wall.

Sonny, If I ask you a question, will you tell me the truth?

I'll try.

I spoke to Doctor Gallagher at St Phil's.

He said you've missed your appointments and you haven't been taking your meds.

Well, what did you do that for?

-I told you, I don't need them.

-Sonny, the doctor wouldn't have said that unless...

Look, I don't like what they do to me, all right?

They zone me out,

they slow me down and I'm not the slowed-down type,

I'm happy-go-lucky Sonny, I'm buzzing Sonny,

I'm indestructible Sonny!

I can bounce back from anything.

I just needed me hand fixed, that's all.

What's wrong? Why are you being all weird.

You were all laughs and smiles a minute ago.

If it's about the medication, I don't mind taking them.

Well, I don't mind, taking 'em if...

me and you were to, well...

I'm sorry, Sonny...

Oh.

What's to be sorry for?

If you don't fancy me then, I'll get over it.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Sonny Saddler, are you there?

I'm going to have to take you down the station, Sonny.

Just give me a minute.

OK.

What did you do that for?

I'm sorry.

I didn't hurt her, I told you. I cut it on a wall.

Are you OK, Cherry?

Yeah. How's the girl?

She's a bit shaken, but she'll be fine.

I thought we were friends.

-We are.

-No, we're not.

We are.

No, friends don't call the police on each other.

I thought you saw me as me.

I do.

Not some nutter.

Like her out there...

or all the others that just laugh at me on the street.

That's not true.

"Here comes Sonny the mentalist."

"Here comes Sonny the looney-toon."

"What's he going to do next?"

You know what the really funny thing is?

I don't need doctors, I don't need hospital appointments,

I don't need drugs.

I just needed someone who cares.

Like she did.

Come on.

Good lad.

-ANSWERPHONE:

-'Daniel. It's me. Why haven't you picked up?

'Just to let you know that Dad called,

'he's coming to stay for a few days.

'He'll be here tonight so can you make up the spare bed?

'Thanks, darling. See you later.'

'Daniel. It's me. Why haven't you picked up?

'Just to let you know that Dad called,

'he's coming to stay for a few days...'

I understand. I get it.

'Daniel. It's me. Why haven't you picked up?

'Just to let you know...'

-I will need you all to make a statement, though.

-Of course, Sergeant Hollins.

-So, this is what he nicked, is it?

-I don't know.

The latest must-have, no doubt.

-He had it with him when he came in.

-OK.

All these years in this job and people still never fail to amaze me.

Karen, could you see if the partners are free? I need a word with them.

Have you said yes to Martin?

Before surgery if possible.

Julia...

Heston, I should have died in that accident.

If things had been different

-I wouldn't be here having this discussion.

-You're in shock.

-I thought you were a friend.

-I am.

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