Matthew and Son Doctors


Matthew and Son

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LineFromTo

Don't worry, your receipts'll be ship-shape before you can say,

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"Where's me audit?" HE CHUCKLES

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Yeah, absolutely. How does 11.30 suit you?

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Smashing! See you then.

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Oh, and...put the kettle on.

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HE CHUCKLES

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Yeah, all right. See you. Bye-bye.

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PHONE RINGS

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Mason & Mayhew. James Fenwick speaking. How may I...?

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I'll be right in.

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Can you explain this?

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HE CLEARS THROAT

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This is the Hassan account.

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They own a corner shop. I've just filed their tax return.

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And?

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Something about a trust fund?

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Oh!

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Mr Hassan's just had a baby daughter and wanted to put something aside for when she goes to university.

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So I told him how he could make some tax savings by opening a trust fund.

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The Hassans have only paid for the basic package -

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an audit of the business accounts.

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He just wanted some advice.

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While you're doling out free advice, you're keeping valuable, PAYING customers waiting.

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-I can't have that.

-No, you see, it was on a lunch break...

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When you're sent out on commission you're on company time - period.

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Yes, of course.

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Look, I know you're new here,

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and it is a steep learning curve,

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but time is money, James. Never forget that.

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You're right.

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It won't happen again.

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Close the door on your way out.

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The Mill and the Campus have slowly been haemorrhaging money.

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A little bit here, a little bit there - drip, drip, drip.

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If left to do so, before we know it we'll find ourselves

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flat-lining on the table with no hope of a transfusion.

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Good choice of metaphor.

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Thank you.

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I've drawn up a list of efficiency savings I'd like to implement without delay.

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-No redundancies, I hope?

-No, no, no.

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There are other ways we can tighten our belts.

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As you can see, I've found alternative sources for various medical supplies.

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Companies with more competitive rates.

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Will there be any noticeable drop in quality?

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A latex glove is a latex glove.

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If we can get it half price from China, we'd be fools not to do so.

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Quite.

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Child labour be damned, eh?

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Well, I suppose that concludes things here.

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Any suggestions on further cutbacks would be greatly appreciated.

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We'll put our thinking caps on.

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ALARM CLOCK BLEEPS

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BLEEPING CONTINUES

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Jack, how d'you turn this thing off?

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BLEEPING STOPS

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HE RETCHES >

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Fenwick's Accountancy, good morning.

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Ah, I'm afraid James no longer works here.

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Is there anything I can do to help?

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No, I don't have a contact number.

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HE SIGHS

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I'm just making a few initial enquiries.

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'We already employ a reliable accountant

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'but I'm open to finding a better offer elsewhere.'

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Of course.

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It's always wise to look for the optimum value for money.

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I'm sure we can put together a very attractive package for the Mill and Campus surgeries.

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We already have several medical practices on our books,

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'so you can be confident of our expertise.'

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Our initial consultation is free, of course.

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How would this afternoon suit?

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I have a 2.30 window at the Mill.

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Excellent. I'll send one of my best accountants.

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Goodbye, Mr Bellamy.

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Cheerio.

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Beautiful!

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Can I help you?

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I have a few home visits lined up by the Mill.

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If you like, I could make the 2.30 appointment.

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I think I should send someone with more than a few months' experience, don't you?

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Ms Durand, I've been qualified for four years.

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-And, as it happens, I'm familiar...

-I said no.

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And in future, when I'm on a call you'll wait outside until I'm finished.

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Is that understood?

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Yes, of course.

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Sorry.

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MUSIC PLAYS LOUDLY

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-< IMOGEN:

-Jack?

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PHONE RINGS

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-JACK!

-All right!

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VOLUME REDUCES

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Are you feeling as rough as me?

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HE CHUCKLES I rode the chunder train this morning - it was well rank.

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What - another party? When?

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Are you serious - all day?

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Well, yeah. Yeah, course I'm up for it.

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Need to get some food first and have a shower. I'm a total armpit right now.

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SMOKE ALARM BEEPS Oh, I'm burning the house down here. See you later.

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Aargh!

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What?

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HE COUGHS

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What are you doing here?

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I need to talk to you.

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I'm not interested in anything you have to say.

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I don't have time for this. If my boss knew I was here, I'd lose my job.

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Is that supposed to impress me?

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Just listen to me for once.

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Look, I don't have time for this, either. I'm up to my neck in work.

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Dad, I think you're about to lose your best client.

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Why? Are you going to steal them away from me

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like you did all the others?

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-Those were customers

-I

-brought in. If they wanted to leave with me, that was their prerogative.

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Look, I didn't come here to fight.

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I just thought you should know that there's somebody new at the Mill now and...

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-..he's shopping around for a new accountant.

-I'm well aware Ms Parsons has retired.

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I haven't met Mr Bellamy yet

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but when we do, I'm sure we'll get on just fine.

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Look, I'm an old hand at this game, my boy. I certainly don't need help from you or anybody else.

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Fine. Well, I'm sorry I bothered you.

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PHONE RINGS

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-SLURRED:

-Hello?

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Hi, Aunt Patti, it's me.

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Oh, Freya. How are you, love?

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I'm OK. Are you? You sound as though you've just woken up.

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Oh, I'm just resting.

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-I'm feeling a bit under the weather today.

-What do you mean, "under the weather"?

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Just tired and achy.

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That's probably a side effect from the medication.

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You should mention it at your next appointment.

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I will.

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'OK.'

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Will you ring me if you need anything?

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All right, dear. Bye-bye.

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# If you wanna come back it's all right, it's all right

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# It's all right if you wanna come back

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# Do you wanna come back?

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# It's all right, it's all right

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# It's all right if you want to come back... #

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What's the problem now?

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-You're making a racket!

-I had my headphones on.

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You were singing at the top of your lungs, you idiot!

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Oh. Well, I can't help it - I'm in a good mood.

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-Well, isn't it just great to be you(?)

-Im, you couldn't lend me a tenner, could you?

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I've got to take some booze to this party but I'm totally tapped out from last night.

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Are you actually asking me for money?

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-I'll pay you back.

-Drop...dead.

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You don't actually use this thing, do you?

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No. My father gave it to me.

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Used to belong to my grandfather, actually. He used...

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Why didn't you tell me it was Fenwick's Accountancy that handles the Mill?

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I tried to.

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A personal connection can make all the difference

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between winning and losing a client.

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Who did the Mill's books - you or your father?

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We both did - it was a lot to handle.

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There are two separate practices,

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plus all the partners' personal accounts.

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I want you to conduct the consultation with Mr Bellamy.

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Make it clear you have a prior relationship with them.

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A familiar face selling a superior service -

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he'd be a fool not to switch to us.

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If you're more concerned about your father's business than this one,

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now's the time to say.

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No.

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May the best man win.

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That's what I like to hear.

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If you succeed, you'll get to handle the contract yourself.

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It's quite a big step up in your career, wouldn't you say?

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-What's this?

-Just a little bonus for all your help the other night.

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-A hundred quid?

-My appointment book is absolutely full because of you.

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I told you it was a good idea, didn't I? It's a pity we can't do it all the time.

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Who says we can't?

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I stand to make about three grand from one night.

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Karen, we've struck gold.

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Yeah, but we can't keep tapping up the same neighbours for money.

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Botox wears off, doesn't it?

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Believe me - four months down the line, the same women will be back.

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But not just on their own - with their friends, with their neighbours.

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Karen, we've got all the ingredients.

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All we need to do is turn up the gas and start cooking.

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We take pride in the fact that no matter what your business needs,

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-we can tailor our service exclusively to suit you.

-Cut the sales talk - give me the basics.

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The basic package includes the audit and, of course, book keeping.

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Optional extras include tax planning,

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insolvency and consultancy services.

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We're a large firm, so we can afford to be highly specialised.

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Good to know.

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We'd match your present arrangement by extending our service to the private accounts of the partners -

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Dr Carmichael, Dr Granger and Dr Carter.

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I understand Ms Parsons remains as a silent partner.

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You HAVE done your homework.

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You could say that. I used to work at Fenwick's Accountancy.

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I noticed the name was the same but I didn't realise.

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So Matthew Fenwick is...

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My father.

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So, you see, if you decided to change firms,

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you'd be getting a better deal and retaining continuity of service.

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Indeed.

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I respect the way my father does business, I really do, but...

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he refuses to modernise.

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I made the move to Mason & Mayhew

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because they offer so much more opportunity.

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If you did the same, you'd find out for yourself.

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RUBBER BAND PINGS

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-Do you have to do that?

-I'm bored.

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What do you want me to do about it?

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Well, you could give me that tenner.

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Come on, Im. I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go. Please?

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Ple-e-ease?

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Fine. You want the tenner? There is your stupid tenner!

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Thank you - you are the best.

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Yeah, go and enjoy your party! I'm just about to flunk out of college, by the way,

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but don't let that spoil YOUR enjoyment.

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SHE SOBS

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-OK.

-Thanks so much.

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-Oh. Good afternoon, sir.

-Afternoon.

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-Matthew Fenwick, at your service.

-Howard Bellamy.

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Ah. Delighted to finally put a face to the name.

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Please, take a seat.

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Your timing's perfect - the kettle's just boiled.

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-Not for me, thanks. I can't stay long.

-Right.

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So...

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..what can I do for you?

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I thought it only right to come down here and deliver the news in person,

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given your years of long and excellent service to the practice.

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Please. Can I... Can I stop you there, Mr Bellamy?

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I think I know what you're going to say.

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You've decided to take your business elsewhere.

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Please don't think this is a reflection on all your hard work over the years.

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It's just, in tough economic times we have to make difficult decisions.

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You've found a better rate. I quite understand.

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And I admit I can't compete with the larger corporations on price.

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But just consider this -

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for the sake of saving a few pounds,

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you stand to lose a whole raft of benefits.

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Such as?

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A personalised service from someone with experience.

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Someone who knows your business accounts like the back of his hand.

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You won't find that elsewhere.

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I'm afraid I already have.

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So...

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..this is down to James, is it?

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No. It's just business.

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I really am very sorry.

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Please...

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don't do this.

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If I lose this account, I'm finished.

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Poetry is just too hard. I totally bombed in it last year and I cannot fail again,

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-but it's not making any sense!

-OK, well...

-I put a timetable together to stick to and I'm totally behind.

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It's pointless! I cannot catch up now.

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-Look, you...

-I found this past paper online yesterday, and I thought,

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"Great - this'll prove how much I know," but I just couldn't answer anything!

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It's like I've got amnesia or something.

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Im, you just need to stop stressing and stick at it.

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Bit of peace and quiet and it'll all start to go in, you'll see.

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OK? I'll leave you to it, then.

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Everything all right?

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Hm.

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No. Bit of a bind, actually.

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Ethically.

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Can I help?

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-Our accountants.

-Fenwick's.

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Mm. Small family-run business, as you know.

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Quality service, but struggling to remain competitive.

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A big corporation like Mason & Mayhew can undercut everybody else and push them out of business.

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But is it fair for them to be the only fish in the sea?

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Of course it's fair - it's survival of the fittest.

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So if they offer me a cheaper deal, should I take it?

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Without question.

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Even if it costs a man his livelihood?

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Well, look, I'm sorry if that's the case,

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but businesses are going to the wall every day.

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What I'm trying to say is that I don't think that we can afford to be sentimental -

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not in today's climate.

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I think we owe it to the patient to put them first.

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-Thank you.

-Welcome.

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We have won the account for the Mill and Campus surgeries.

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Mr Bellamy's on his way now. I'll need you to draw up the paperwork.

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Right. Of course.

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Well done, James. We couldn't have done it without you.

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Thanks.

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James, I think it's best if I handle the account from here.

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-But you said...

-I said I'd think about it...

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and I have. As much as I'd like to say otherwise,

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I just don't think you're ready.

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It's nothing personal, James.

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It's just business.

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You'd best crack on. I want those documents ready to sign.

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I thought you'd gone to the party.

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No-one wants to be the first numpty to turn up, do they?

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Thanks.

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You're doing John Clare? I did him at A-level.

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I'll quiz you, if you like.

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-Jack, that's really sweet but you don't have to.

-Shut up.

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They'll probably ask you something like,

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"How does John Clare feel about nature?"

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I don't know - he's always droning on about it.

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Trees and birds and stuff.

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Yeah, but he's not just painting a pretty picture, is he? How does he FEEL about it?

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Well, actually, he's pretty steamed up.

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-Like in The Fallen Elm.

-Go on.

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Basically, it's about the destruction of this old tree

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by this boring thing called the Enclosure Act.

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The tree survives everything that nature throws at it,

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like "the black tempest of a winter night" or "summers of thirst",

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but it took humans to actually destroy it.

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But why should we care about something that happened over a century ago?

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Because it's still happening today.

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Think about it - human greed is still destroying nature

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and the rich get to wreck the lives of the poor.

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It's like that Jonson quote about Shakespeare. "He was not of an age, but for all time."

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Wow! Think of all that yourself?

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-Yeah.

-See? It's all in there, Im. You just got to let it out.

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"Re-groovy-nation. Party yourself younger."

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Suburban house parties with a difference.

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Demonstrations in a relaxed, social setting.

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You handle the bookings, I'll take care of the ladies.

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-Easy!

-And this is just the beginning.

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Picture this - dozens of Botox parties happening in homes all across the nation.

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-What - do we go on the road?

-No, no. No, we don't go anywhere. Think franchise.

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We target other centres with doctors who want to top up their pay.

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They use our marketing material, we take a cut.

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We'll be raking it in.

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-Very ingenious.

-Just a little joint venture we've been working on.

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So I heard. Be interesting to take a look at the figures.

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Please. Have a look - we'd welcome your expertise.

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"Re-groovy-nation.

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"Party yourself younger!"

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SHE CHUCKLES

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You've made the right decision, Mr Bellamy.

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May this be the start of a long and fruitful relationship.

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It says here you'll be handling the accounts yourself.

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I like to oversee some of the larger contracts.

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I delegate, of course, but only to my most experienced accountants.

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Like James Fenwick?

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James is an excellent worker.

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All my staff are highly qualified,

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but I want you to receive the best possible service.

0:20:040:20:07

I'm here on the understanding that James will be my accountant.

0:20:070:20:10

He has prior knowledge of the practice and, what's more, I like him.

0:20:100:20:14

James...

0:20:210:20:23

could you join us in my office, please?

0:20:230:20:25

Right away.

0:20:270:20:28

Is there something wrong with the paperwork?

0:20:410:20:44

Yes.

0:20:450:20:46

Your name's not on it.

0:20:460:20:48

Congratulations. You're handling the Mill and Campus accounts.

0:20:510:20:54

I don't know what to say.

0:20:570:20:58

How about thank you... to Mr Bellamy?

0:20:580:21:01

It's all down to him.

0:21:010:21:03

No thanks needed.

0:21:030:21:04

I'm just doing what's right for the practice. Plain and simple.

0:21:040:21:08

Wait.

0:21:080:21:09

-Don't sign.

-What are you doing?

-You're not getting the deal you think you are.

0:21:110:21:14

-James!

-It looks good but they hit you with hidden charges.

0:21:140:21:17

Postage. Photocopying. Phone calls. And that's just for starters.

0:21:170:21:20

-That's enough.

-It's all in the small print.

0:21:200:21:22

-They call them "disbursements" - can you believe it?

-Get out!

0:21:220:21:25

My father has his faults but he's as honest as the day is long.

0:21:250:21:28

I guess they just don't make them like they used to.

0:21:300:21:33

You can tell which poets actually fought in the trenches,

0:21:500:21:52

like Sassoon and Owen whose poems are more bleak and visceral.

0:21:520:21:55

Whereas the ones who weren't, they feel more detached and patriotic.

0:21:550:22:00

Thanks, Jack. Listen, I'll be fine on my own now.

0:22:010:22:04

We can carry on if you like.

0:22:040:22:06

No, you've already missed half the party.

0:22:060:22:08

It's fine. I should probably give it a miss anyway after last night.

0:22:080:22:12

Believe me, when these exams are over, I am going to par-tay.

0:22:120:22:16

Go. One of us should be having fun.

0:22:160:22:19

All right. As long as you're sure.

0:22:190:22:21

And I will pay you back for that tenner.

0:22:210:22:23

Jack, you've made me lunch and you've helped me revise - you've more than earned it.

0:22:230:22:27

Earned it?

0:22:280:22:29

Was it worth it?

0:22:390:22:41

Ask me again on Monday when I'm standing in line at the job centre.

0:22:410:22:44

Let me give you a lift. It's the least I can do.

0:22:440:22:46

-Really? I live a little way out of town.

-That's fine.

0:22:460:22:49

-I'm not taking you home.

-What?

0:22:490:22:51

Come on.

0:22:510:22:53

I suppose you've come to gloat.

0:23:030:23:05

Does it look like it?

0:23:070:23:08

Oh, I see!

0:23:080:23:10

Little Lord Fauntleroy gets fired

0:23:100:23:12

and thinks he can come crawling back to Daddy?

0:23:120:23:15

Told you this was a bad idea.

0:23:150:23:16

Mr Fenwick, your son lost his job protecting my interests and defending your reputation.

0:23:160:23:22

I'd say he was a young man to be proud of.

0:23:220:23:24

Oh.

0:23:280:23:29

Well, er...

0:23:290:23:30

..you might as well put that down since you're here.

0:23:320:23:35

You might even...

0:23:410:23:43

..want to unpack it.

0:23:440:23:46

Maybe.

0:23:470:23:49

Well, don't do me any favours - I was just thinking of you.

0:23:490:23:52

Really? That would be a first.

0:23:520:23:54

You think I want you back,

0:23:540:23:56

with your chatter and your clutter and your big ideas?

0:23:560:23:59

I'm perfectly happy on my own.

0:23:590:24:01

Good, cos now I know what it's like to work somewhere they actually appreciate my talents.

0:24:010:24:05

-Oh yes, it certainly looks that way(!)

-I need an accountant!

0:24:050:24:08

Mr Fenwick senior needs to keep his business afloat and Mr Fenwick junior needs a job.

0:24:080:24:13

Hmm. I wonder if there's a solution to solve all our problems.

0:24:130:24:17

I'll keep my business at Fenwick's Accountants...for now.

0:24:170:24:21

But you have to make it worth my while.

0:24:210:24:23

The only way to survive in this current market is to be better than the competition.

0:24:230:24:28

And I think you can be, if you work together.

0:24:280:24:32

I've got some ideas about how to broaden our client base.

0:24:350:24:38

Maybe expand into consultancy.

0:24:380:24:41

I'm a numbers man, James.

0:24:410:24:44

I don't know about all that stuff.

0:24:440:24:46

Yes, but I do.

0:24:460:24:48

You'll just have to trust me.

0:24:500:24:52

I'll put the kettle on, shall I?

0:25:010:25:03

You still here?

0:25:150:25:17

Yeah, yeah, I'll go in a minute. Check this out.

0:25:170:25:20

"Personal services." Eurgh!

0:25:210:25:24

It's not like that. I'm offering a freelance concierge service.

0:25:240:25:27

So I'll do all the jobs people don't have time to do.

0:25:280:25:31

Like walk your dog or mow your lawn.

0:25:310:25:33

Pick your kids up from school, drop off your dry cleaning.

0:25:330:25:36

-If it keeps Mum and Dad off my back about spending money...

-So you're going to be a butler?

0:25:360:25:40

You might call it a butler.

0:25:400:25:42

I call it someone with loads of 20s in their pocket.

0:25:420:25:44

Right, well as long as you don't call it "personal services".

0:25:440:25:48

Fine.

0:25:480:25:50

KNOCK AT DOOR

0:25:500:25:53

Come in.

0:25:530:25:54

Hi, Howard. Just wondered if you'd had a chance to look over those figures.

0:25:540:25:58

-I have.

-And?

-Very interesting.

0:25:580:26:00

So you think it's a viable idea?

0:26:000:26:02

Absolutely. I think with the clinic and the parties combined, you stand to make a handsome profit.

0:26:020:26:07

-Which highlights a little bit of a problem, as I see it.

-Problem?

0:26:070:26:10

If you're going to make this kind of money out of the Botox clinic,

0:26:100:26:13

I feel that the practice ought to make considerably more from the arrangement.

0:26:130:26:17

Wait a minute. Julia and I agreed on the rate some time ago.

0:26:170:26:21

Did you sign a fixed-term contract?

0:26:210:26:22

That's not really how it works here.

0:26:220:26:25

-A verbal agreement is as good as a contract.

-Which is why you've been enjoying mates' rates all this time.

0:26:250:26:30

But that kind of thing no longer has a place in the NHS.

0:26:300:26:33

I think a 45% cut is reasonable.

0:26:330:26:35

-45?!

-You must understand

0:26:350:26:38

I have to get the best rates possible for this practice.

0:26:380:26:40

After all, what was it you said?

0:26:400:26:42

"We owe it to the patients to put them first."

0:26:420:26:45

So, do we have a deal?

0:26:450:26:47

-Of course.

-Good.

0:26:490:26:51

I'll draw up the agreement.

0:26:510:26:52

Do you not like Mr Huggit?

0:26:590:27:02

I'm going to have a go at this right now! Best birthday present ever!

0:27:020:27:06

-Who the hell has a party when they're 44?

-It's different for you.

0:27:060:27:09

I see. I could be dead next year?

0:27:090:27:11

The pain's started to ease, as well,

0:27:110:27:13

and now I can flex all my fingers.

0:27:130:27:17

That's brilliant!

0:27:160:27:17

I need to do it to take my mind off things.

0:27:170:27:20

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