Sweet Surrender Doctors


Sweet Surrender

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# Farewell my black balloon

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# Farewell my black balloon

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# The weather had its way with you

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# Farewell my black balloon

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# The weather had its way with you

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# Farewell my black balloon. #

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No, no, no.

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What do you mean, "No"?

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It's a refutation, Daniel. Denoting a negative or a refusal.

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I mean, what business is it of yours?

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£50,000 on a motorised midlife crisis?

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When we're both working part time.

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Not to mention the cost of child care.

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Wrong. Do you remember Bruno Roberts?

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Bruno Roberts.

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How could I forget, possibly the worst night of my entire life?

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So, you're the reason he's been absent from the golf course.

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Yeah, I found better things to do on a Sunday morning.

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-I bet you did.

-Careful, darling, you'll get drool on her dress.

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If only you would wear a dress once in a while.

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Someone has to wear the trousers in our house.

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And I'll have the dauphinoise.

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Really? His cholesterol's up and rising.

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I can't blame her seeing as she's never in the kitchen.

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I'm an accountant. Not a short order cook.

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So, what do you do, Bruno?

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-I'm in the executive motor trade.

-He's a car salesman.

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Do you mind if I speak for myself?

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If you're willing to take that risk.

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And another one of those. Can anyone manage dessert?

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I couldn't eat another thing.

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Daniel, you'll join me?

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Just coffee, thanks.

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Hope no-one minds if I do.

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How long have you been married?

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We're not. We didn't think that it was...

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Very wise. It could save you a fortune in divorce lawyers.

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You've no idea how expensive they are these days.

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Although, Suzy knows.

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Because she's just hired one at eye-watering expense.

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She thought I didn't know. But I'm one step ahead of you, my love.

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Oh, and for the record, the reason Raymond Savage turned you down was

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because he's otherwise engaged.

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By me.

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Well, hurrah, that's out in the open.

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-I think we should leave.

-To leave you to discuss this in private.

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Oh, you can't go! It's a celebration. Isn't it?

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Absolutely, bottle of champagne, please, and four glasses.

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You'll allow yourself just a little sip? To toast our divorce.

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It's a disengagement party. What a hoot!

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What about Bruno Roberts?

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Apart from the fact that he

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and his toxic wife are presumably divorced by now.

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He's got a luxury car dealership in Kingsvale.

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-Oh, here we go.

-He's giving me mates rates.

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He's not your "mate."

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He's just some Swiss Tony you met at the Golf Club.

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Which I'm no longer a member of because you thought it was too expensive.

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Which you're no longer a member of because you never went!

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Besides, golf is so revoltingly bourgeois.

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Since when did you tell me how to spend my money?

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Since we became a family, Daniel. You, and me, and Joe.

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Oh, I might have known you'd bring Joe into it.

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He's our son. Of course I'll bring him into it.

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# Diamonds are a girl's best friend

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# There may come a time

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# When a hard-boiled employer

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# Thinks you're awful nice... #

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'This is Letherbridge FM...'

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That colour really sets off your eyes. Eggs?

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No, thanks, I'll get something at work.

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-Have you got my list?

-Yep.

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No problem.

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OK, thanks. I'll see you later.

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# Diamonds are a girl's best friend. #

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-Morning, Dr Carter.

-Morning, Keith.

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Thank you.

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There we go.

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Good morning, Nurse Clay. The traffic must have been terrible.

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Dr Clay is already in the shower.

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32.15. His personal record, I believe.

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And check out those muscles. You must be well smug.

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Not especially.

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All I'm saying, is it makes financial sense.

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Because of a conveniently timed mystery rattle which only you can hear!

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Good morning Dr Carmichael, Dr Granger.

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It's a slippery slope. Next it'll be haemorrhaging garage bills.

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Oh, please. Do I have "woman who knows nothing about cars" tattooed on my forehead?

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-Better than "henpecked man."

-I'm not listening to you, Daniel.

-No change there, then!

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KNOCK ON DOOR

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The nanny state gone mad.

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Is everything all right, Dr Carter?

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The lowlife who invaded my house

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and violated my property should take his punishment like a man.

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Not want to meet me over a cup of tea and a prison biscuit.

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You are referring to Curtis Brown?

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"Restorative Justice." Although who and what it restores is debatable.

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He has requested a meeting with you?

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Well, it certainly wasn't me.

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-This man has committed a serious crime.

-Exactly, Mrs Tembe.

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-I knew I could...

-Although I am reminded of an old African proverb.

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"You punish a child with your right hand,

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"and with your left hand you embrace them."

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That's as maybe, Mrs Tembe.

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And, of course, there was the Truth and Reconciliation movement in South Africa.

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Entirely different. Entirely. I have to be getting on.

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Yes, of course, Dr Carter.

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Jimmi.

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You're limping.

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No, I'm not.

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Don't lie to me, I've been watching you.

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It's a muscle twinge. Occupational hazard.

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You need to get it looked at.

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Cherry! Cherry, Cherry, I'm a doctor.

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Stand on it. Go on, "Doctor" Clay. Put your weight on your right foot.

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Get it looked at!

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There is nothing wrong with Doctor Granger's car that cannot be

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solved by a good mechanic.

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Not to mention a lighter touch on the clutch.

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Thank you, Sister Tembe!

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You are welcome, Sister Dr Carmichael.

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Why won't men just do what they're told?

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Because they are not intelligent enough to realise that WE are always right.

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Amen to that.

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Too right. Your motor has stopped being the hot babe

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and is now definitely moving into cougar territory.

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No offence intended.

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None taken. But try telling Zara that.

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Women always have to be right.

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She said, "When you need a new car, get an estate."

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-So she can fit half of Mothercare in the boot.

-Mate!

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-Bang out of order.

-KNOCK ON DOOR

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Oh! Hi. Jimmi's hurt his foot.

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Can one of you take a look at it?

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And don't let him fob you off.

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Sure, yep.

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Got a poorly foot?

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You'd better not be going where I think you're going.

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-So now you're monitoring my movements?

-Of course.

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-Because you can't be trusted not to do anything stupid!

-Even you can't stop me from looking.

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You do realise this amount of money would fund Joe's entire university education?

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Yes, but we've got 18 years to save for that.

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-Not the way you're spending.

-Says the woman whose shoes have their own bedroom.

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-Even MY shoes don't cost that much!

-Depends how many shoes you buy!

-They remind me of my mum and dad!

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Please do not depress me any more than I am already!

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She nagged and nagged him for a conservatory.

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-He said it was a waste and they should save the money for a rainy day.

-You see!

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Mind you. She did make him suffer in secret.

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Jack's got this theory that every time he said no,

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her cooking deteriorated that little bit more.

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Ha!

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Maybe you both need to compromise a little.

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Now look what you've done. "Analysis with Elaine."

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Nothing of the sort. But if you looked at the car,

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at least your decision would be an informed one.

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Fine. I will get my bag, I will look at the car.

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And then I will say no!

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-Last quarter's sales figures.

-Great. Thanks.

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Did you decide what you want for dinner?

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-I'll pick something up when I go to the dry cleaners.

-Um...

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No, anything, whatever.

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Er, sausages. The pork and leek ones from the butcher?

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PHONE RINGS

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I'll go when Darren's back from his break. Roberts Motors.

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You want the body workshop. Putting you through.

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Hi, Suzy.

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Well, hello there. No baby?

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He's with our very expensive nanny.

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-Bruno's expecting you.

-I can't say I was expecting you.

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My job had taken over my life.

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Now I run the home and help Bruno with the business.

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He means, we were both expecting that you'd be divorced by now.

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We didn't get divorced.

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We made some changes

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and I can happily say we're happier than we've ever been.

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Congratulations.

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Well done. You must let us know your secret.

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A-ha, you made it! Great.

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Because I have got something special to show you.

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Custom made for a Premiership player.

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Silly boy got himself a three-year ban five days after passing his test.

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Hence the special price.

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A footballer's car!

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Do I look like a WAG!?

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Restorative justice?

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Bleeding woolly heart liberals.

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This has really got to you, hasn't it?

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-Of course it's right up your street.

-You know it can be very effective.

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-Effective for who?

-Isn't the clue in the name?

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Surely the victim is the one designed to benefit most.

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In what way could a face-to-face meeting with that man

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possibly benefit me?

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That depends.

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On whether or not you've recovered from being the victim of a serious crime.

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That goes without saying.

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So how long are you staying here at Julia's?

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Zara. Would you like to try it for comfort?

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No, thank you.

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Oh, all right.

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It does smell gorgeous.

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The leather's bespoke. Hand finished.

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Designer cross stitch.

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So, what do you think?

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I love it.

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-Really?

-But it's still way out of your league.

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Trust me. It's a steal.

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Excellent. Because the only way he'll get his hands on it

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is if he breaks in here in the middle of night and drives off in it.

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She has a tendency to over dramatise.

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Tell you what. Join me for a spot of lunch at the golf club.

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I'll bring Suzy along to keep Zara company

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and we'll just talk over a few options.

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We'd love to. Wouldn't we, darling?

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You have been conspicuous by your absence.

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Zara found better things for me to do on a Sunday morning.

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Mostly involving nappies and baby rice.

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So. Here we are again.

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I'm sorry about last time. We must have seemed very rude.

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Not a problem. We're glad you sorted it out.

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Mind you, we did get as far as the decree nisi and then we...

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Well, Suzy decided...

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I think you better explain. They'll never believe me otherwise.

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I became a submissive wife.

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You did what?

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I met a woman who'd saved her marriage by surrendering to her husband.

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She made me see I was exhausting myself by trying to control Bruno.

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So instead I put him in charge.

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Now he takes care of the decision-making and...

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And she takes care of me. What's not to like?

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Is she serious?

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It's a growing movement.

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Thousands of women like me are realising that feminism did not liberate us.

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It merely created another form of enslavement.

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So what does a submissive wife do exactly?

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It's what she doesn't do.

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She doesn't control, question or criticise.

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She puts her husband first at all times

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and she is always available to him.

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Daniel doesn't have any complaints on that front.

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I didn't used to.

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Are you serious about all this?

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Why do you ask?

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I was just wondering how long you think you can keep it up for?

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How long do you think your relationship will last,

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if you carry on treating Daniel

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like a cross between a child and a nuisance?

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-I beg your pardon?

-Don't knock it till you've tried it. I was like you.

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Bossy, a control freak.

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I am not... Well, maybe I am.

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Take it from someone who has got the t-shirt.

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You'll wear yourself out

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trying to turn Daniel into your idea of perfection.

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I may have surrendered, but in doing so I've empowered myself.

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Another advantage of an obedient wife,

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no argument over the designated driver.

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-It sounds too good to be true.

-Tell me about it.

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I keep pinching myself.

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I miss the rows sometimes. Or rather the making up.

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It's not the same without the chase.

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So tell me, how's business?

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What recession? You? Botox business booming?

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Like you say - what recession?

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Good. Because I've a proposition.

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Suzy's starting to show a few signs of wear and tear

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round the old body work.

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I was thinking, you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

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-I'm listening.

-I'm glad you're listening to somebody.

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We were just discussion the finance options on the car.

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And I'm afraid our only option is to say no.

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That's a matter for discussion. In private, I think.

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Fine. Bring it on.

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Well, you know where I am, yeah?

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There!

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-I think I may have overreacted.

-Really?

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Yes, you work damn hard for your money.

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What business is it of mine to tell you how to spend it.

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Well, that's quite a turnaround.

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Seeing Suzy with Bruno got me to thinking

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that perhaps sometimes I can seem a little controlling.

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Well...on the odd occasion.

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And it got me thinking that maybe I should start putting you first.

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'It's high time I started putting you first.'

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-What's all this?

-It's a spreadsheet.

-I was just..

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Now you listen to me, Daniel Granger.

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I've played along with your little fantasy.

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I have sat in the damn car, had lunch with your hideous friends,

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but for the last time,

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you are not buying that car, I forbid you to buy that car.

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-Do I make myself clear?

-Yeah.

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Great. I'll draw up some paperwork and come straight over.

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Well done! I knew you'd make the sale.

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Can you type up an agreement and then grab your handbag?

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-Why?

-I've spun him a deal in return for some cut price botox.

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That's quite a discount.

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And you are reassuringly expensive.

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Can you do anything about her jaw line?

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It looks like it's sagging a bit to me.

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I'm afraid you'd need a cosmetic surgeon for that.

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Right. Well, if you know one that's looking for a car...

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-Is everything all right?

-Yeah, I'm fine.

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KNOCK ON DOOR

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-Bearing up?

-Yeah. Business as usual.

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So, do you want me to take a look at that foot?

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Why would you want to do that?

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Because I'm tired of dodging Cherry. And besides, she's right.

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I've been watching you, and you're limping. So, come on.

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No! Stop!

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Sorry. I'm fine now.

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-Are you sure you want me to continue?

-Yes.

-OK.

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No! Stop!

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-Sorry. Needle phobia.

-Try and take deep breaths.

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That's it.

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Can you give me something. Tranquiliser? General anaesthetic?

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There is an oral tranquiliser but it'll take an hour to take effect.

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More importantly, I don't think

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you're a suitable candidate for botox.

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I think that's my decision!

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I would have professional qualms about treating you.

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I'm sure you can overcome those qualms.

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Achilles tendonitis.

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-What, you're not serious?

-It's not the end of the world, mate.

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Just lay off the running for a couple of weeks and you'll be right as rain.

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I'm afraid of heights. It doesn't stop me from flying.

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Suzy has a severe phobia of needles.

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It would be unprofessional to commence a course of botox.

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You can't refuse to treat her.

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I can if it's against the interests of the patient.

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How dare you tell me what I want!

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You don't want botox. That much is obvious.

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I want to please my husband. A submissive wife always says yes.

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And there we have it. No offence, but it's none of your business.

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Actually this is my business

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and I can decline to treat any patient I choose.

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We have a deal.

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Not any more. I can't afford this. Even with the discount.

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And there we have it. Henpecked into submission, eh?

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This has got nothing to do with a needle phobia.

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You're jealous because you want what I've got.

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I'd be dead of boredom in a week.

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To be honest, I prefer my women more equal.

0:21:030:21:06

In life and in my bed.

0:21:060:21:08

We're going.

0:21:100:21:12

You'd swap places with me in a heartbeat.

0:21:160:21:19

-Hi, darling.

-Hi.

0:21:290:21:31

You must be exhausted.

0:21:310:21:33

Sit down here and I'll get you a nice cold beer.

0:21:330:21:40

A-ha! I decided to see what all the fuss was about.

0:21:500:21:54

And actually once you get past the hubris,

0:21:540:21:58

makes a lot of sense.

0:21:580:22:00

-You can't be serious.

-Don't knock it till you've tried it.

0:22:000:22:04

Aren't you going to ask me about the car?

0:22:040:22:07

No. How you spend your money is entirely up to you

0:22:070:22:11

and I will support your decision.

0:22:110:22:13

-Yes, but...

-No, Daniel.

0:22:130:22:15

You don't have to justify your actions to me.

0:22:150:22:18

So, now, what do you want for supper?

0:22:180:22:23

-Good evening, Jean.

-Evening!

0:22:290:22:31

That's the second week running they haven't collected the recycling.

0:22:310:22:34

I've a good mind to phone the council.

0:22:340:22:37

Is something wrong?

0:22:460:22:49

Why do you ask?

0:22:490:22:51

Because you're not talking.

0:22:510:22:52

I'm not interrupting. I'm listening.

0:22:520:22:58

You have interesting and important things to say

0:22:580:23:00

and I want to hear them.

0:23:000:23:03

OK, um...

0:23:040:23:07

Well, I... Nah.

0:23:080:23:13

This is torture! What sane woman could endure this lunacy?

0:23:150:23:21

If you want a submissive partner you'd better start looking.

0:23:210:23:23

I don't want...

0:23:230:23:24

So out with it! Did you buy the car?!

0:23:240:23:27

-I signed a deal.

-I knew it!

-And then I tore it up.

0:23:270:23:31

Why?

0:23:320:23:34

Because you were right.

0:23:340:23:37

Really?

0:23:370:23:38

It's a major expense.

0:23:380:23:40

If and when I need a new car,

0:23:400:23:42

then it should be a joint financial decision.

0:23:420:23:47

What? Will you please stop listening to me!

0:23:470:23:50

Damn, you're sexy when you're submissive.

0:23:520:23:55

What are you doing?

0:24:060:24:08

I checked the forecast. It's raining tomorrow.

0:24:080:24:12

So I'd better squeeze another one in this evening.

0:24:120:24:13

-What about your ankle?

-Kevin said it was fine.

0:24:130:24:16

I'll just need to run it off.

0:24:160:24:19

What do you want for dinner?

0:24:190:24:21

If you're hungry, just start without me.

0:24:230:24:26

Please don't make me buy an estate car.

0:24:350:24:38

We can get a 4x4.

0:24:380:24:39

There's not as much boot space but they're very practical.

0:24:390:24:42

I could go for a 4x4.

0:24:420:24:44

As long as it was the right 4x4. Nothing Japanese.

0:24:440:24:47

Or French. Or Italian.

0:24:470:24:49

Or Korean.

0:24:490:24:52

We could get a pod for the top.

0:24:520:24:54

We are having a pod over my dead body.

0:24:540:24:57

OK. We could get a roof rack.

0:24:570:25:00

-Mm-hmm.

-Ow!

0:25:000:25:02

Oh! I like it!

0:25:020:25:05

"To letherbridgecouncil.org.uk,

0:25:080:25:10

"Recycling, Acacia Avenue.

0:25:100:25:12

"To whom it may concern, for the second week running...

0:25:120:25:18

"the council...has failed..."

0:25:180:25:25

Did you want to see me about something?

0:25:500:25:52

You know why I'm here.

0:25:520:25:53

Typical lonely woman. Needs to man up if you ask me.

0:25:530:25:56

Dr Cassidy was telling me about when you two used to do yoga together.

0:25:560:26:00

-She reckons you're well flexible.

-I never said that!

0:26:000:26:03

If Dr Wilson was here she would not allow this.

0:26:030:26:06

She would tell you to man up!

0:26:060:26:09

Do you want to get kicked out of school? Is that it? Hardman?

0:26:090:26:13

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