Indian Smyth Doctors

TRIBAL CHANTING

CONTINUES CHANTING

MOBILE RINGS

Hello. May the great spirits of goodness spread... They've done what?

Cheers, Billy, I'm onto it.

Sharon? They've pulled the meeting forward.

Yep. Meet me at the Mill.

Morning, Iris. Can't stop, I'm on the war path.

Who was a hungry boy this morning? Joe was.

I'll see you later.

Are you OK? Come and give us both a kiss goodbye.

I've got to get on, I've got a pile of paperwork to do. I'll see you.

Perhaps Jack didn't hear what I said. Jack, breakfast!

Yeah, he couldn't possibly have heard that first time round(!)

Sorry, I was on the computer doing some research.

Oh, that's what boys do on their computers, is it?

"Research."

Immie, not at the breakfast table.

I've been thinking.

You want to be careful, son, you'll strain something.

About my future.

Only getting a 2:2 means I'll have to try a little bit harder

to get where I want be, so rather than banging on about

the CAB volunteering thing, I've actually arranged an interview.

-Good for you, son.

-Well done.

I just think that with the world the way it is,

bankers getting paid massive bonuses while other people are starving,

it's important for some of us to do the right thing.

It'd be easy for me to go out there

and make a fortune with some internet start-up,

but I want to make a difference.

And who's going to take care of the concierge business

while you're busy playing Mother Theresa?

I can do that as well. Plenty of Jack to go around.

Have some breakfast.

No, I'm going to go back upstairs, get my head in the game.

OK, little man,

what shall we do to cheer up Daddy, eh?

Why don't we give him a lovely surprise?

We could invite his best friend, Uncle Jimmi, round.

What do you think of that idea?

BABY GURGLES

The only trouble is, we'd have to put up with brain-dead Aunty Cherry.

Sorry, I'll be with you in a second. What name is it, please?

Wolf Who Hunts At Night.

Right, Mr Wolf Who Hunts...

What was that again?

Wolf Who Hunts At Night. I'm after Howard.

-In what way?

-It's OK, he's with me.

-Sharon!

Howard!

-How!

-How!

I'm sorry to drop in unannounced but it's an emergency.

It's that snake Wolstencroft again.

He's really crossed a line this time.

-He's brought the public meeting forward to tonight.

-Right. You'd better come in.

(Just when you think you know a person.)

'Jimmi here, can't get to the phone so leave us a message.'

I just know I'm going to regret this.

MOBILE RINGS

Zara?

Cherry. How are you?

Uh...I'm fine. You?

'Good. Listen, I wondered'

if you and Jimmi wanted to come over for some dinner later.

'Tonight?'

It's a surprise for Daniel.

'He could do with some friends right now.'

Uh... Well...

I'm...I'm not sure, we might be busy.

'I'll...I'll check with Jimmi and get back to you.'

OK. Whatever. Bye.

Bye.

Bringing the public meeting forward at such short notice has got to be verging on the illegal.

It's a cynical ploy by a cynical council.

We're seeing it across the board -

cutting funding for places and people that need it most.

They don't know how important day centres like Pine Lodge are to those old ex-servicemen.

Without them, the only human interaction some of them have

is glimpsing the postman's backside after he's shoved

a massive heating bill through their letter box.

They know how important they are, they just don't care.

My dad died a happy man because of that place

and I'm not letting them cut the funding for it without a fight.

You mean WE'RE not letting them cut the funding without a fight.

I don't have to say "we" every time, Sharon.

That's just the trouble, you never say it.

You've got this way of making it sound like it's just you fronting this campaign.

Come on, everyone knows you both deserve enormous credit

for the fight you're putting up to save Pine Lodge.

It's important to maintain a united front.

You're right, Howard. Sorry.

-They've tried to outmanoeuvre us but we're going to counter attack.

-MOBILE CHIMES

I'll get on the phones, mobilise the troops.

We'll get some support out there for you tonight.

-It's Anita.

-Oh, God.

I don't believe it.

We've been staging a legitimate protest outside the council offices,

and Wolstencroft's moved her on so he can show off

in some photo opportunity.

He can't do that! Let's sort this running dog out!

Keep calm.

We don't want to do anything to jeopardise our position

at the meeting tonight. Stay focused.

That means you not doing anything weird, OK?

Weird? I don't know the meaning of the word.

Good luck. I'll see you at the meeting tonight.

Thanks for all your help, Howard.

It's you two that are putting in the hard yards.

May the Great Spirit walk with you,

as he who comes from the kiln of creation,

-and may he grant you the wisdom...

-Oh, for crying out loud!

Your goodbyes are taking longer and longer.

-Wolstencroft will have his photo and be gone by the time we get there!

-It's just good manners, Sharon -

-something you need a lesson in!

-Don't get me started, Terry.

Who's the nutter?

Mrs Hollins, you're supposed to be a health care professional.

-Oh, sorry Who's the mentally-challenged person?

-He is a bit eccentric

He's a real Native American. Used to be Terry Smyth, watched Who Do You Think You Are, did his family tree,

and found he was descended from a Sioux warrior.

-Really?

-Absolutely true.

His great-great-granddad came over here

with Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show in 1892 and never went back.

It's still a bit odd, though.

If I found out I was related to Lady Godiva, you wouldn't catch me

riding around the streets on a horse naked.

That's a bullet we've all dodged, then!

-KAREN SMACKS KEVIN

-Ow!

So, Jack, what do you think you can offer the CAB?

If I had to sum it up in one word? Expertise.

You've just finished at uni, haven't you?

That's right. I know I only got a 2:2,

but that really wasn't a fair reflection of my ability.

More than once the words "fine legal mind" appeared in my assessments.

If I'm guilty of anything, it's spreading myself too thin.

While I was there I did a spell with police forensics,

I mentored some overseas students, I worked for the uni paper...

I even broke a couple of real exclusives.

A man of many talents.

I do have a fairly extensive skill set.

All that's missing is healing the sick and walking on water.

I guess I'm just like the CAB, you know, I'm a one stop shop.

Well, we're extremely grateful you're willing to spare us

some of your valuable time, but the CAB offers you a lot in return.

Apart from some invaluable practical experience,

a placement with us can translate

into six months off solicitor training.

I've heard that.

And it invariably leads to offers of full-time employment.

OK.

So you'll appreciate competition can be quite fierce.

Yeah. I mean, it's bound to be.

Now, do you mind if we talk about some areas not covered on your CV?

Sure.

What's your understanding of the relevant issues concerning

the service user/client group and local community interface?

What was that again?

Never mind.

I've just had a call from Zara.

Isn't there a number you can ring to report abusive calls?

She has invited us for dinner tonight.

HE GROANS I wanted to go for a run.

Again? Jimmi, it is every night.

-I didn't go on Sunday.

-Only because your trainers split

and you couldn't get an identical pair until Monday.

-I've got to stick to my schedule.

-Well, you can't, because I told her we're going to be there.

It gives me great pleasure to present this cheque

to the Letherbridge Disability Advisory Centre,

raised by council workers,

but which reflects the council's ongoing commitment to the community.

Like he gives a monkey's about the community!

All he's interested in is showing off at the party conference

-about how many cuts he's made without a thought for the misery it causes. Oh, he's a...

-Rattlesnake?

Thank you.

-Right, I'm going up there and I'm going to have it out with him.

-No!

No, not now, we need to keep it low-key.

We'll have our say at the meeting,

he won't be able to run the show there.

Oi! Wolstencroft!

CROWD GASPS

What was that?

Well, I think that about wraps it up.

Anything you want to ask, Jack?

No.

I don't think you'll have to wait a long time for my decision.

I'll be in touch.

Michael Wilson?

What's he done now?

Shot an arrow at Wolstencroft. Got him right on the forehead.

Tell me there was a rubber sucker on the end of it.

Of course. He's mad, not homicidal.

Every time we go out to protest,

Crazy Horse is there to screw it up for us.

I take it you want me to have a word with him?

Please. Half the time I think he's more interested in getting

his picture in the paper than he is in saving Pine Lodge.

That's a bit harsh.

Look at that article we got in the paper.

Was the headline, "Locals Take On Council Bullyboys?" No.

It was, "Letherbridge Geronimo Wants Council Leader's Scalp,"

and a big picture of Terry.

Pine Lodge wasn't even mentioned until paragraph five.

I see where you're coming from. He's flaky, he needs parameters.

Exactly. I'd talk to him myself but we'll end up arguing.

He respects you, though,

he thinks you and him are kindred warrior spirits.

Really?

DOORBELL MIMICS WOLF'S HOWL

Howard! May the great spirit of...

Yeah, how, and all that. I haven't got much time.

Of course. Come through.

Mind the bison's head in the hallway.

It's amazing what you can get on eBay these days.

Wow.

It's all authentic. Well, apart from the gas heater.

Gets a bit brass buffalos in winter.

Take a pew.

Well, look, I need to...

The...er...the mouse has popped out the house.

Oh. Sorry about that. I don't often have visitors.

I'll get straight to the point. This public meeting tonight...

Wolstencroft is going to feel the full wrath of the Sioux nation.

That's what worries me. Softly, softly, catchee monkey, eh?

I'm not with you.

Perhaps you could leave some of your accoutrements behind?

Like the headdress, the skins, definitely the loin cloth.

I can't believe I'm hearing this from you. You of all people!

Would you ask a Sikh not to wear a turban?

Or a Jew not to wear his Yarmulke ?

Well, no.

Then why ask me to deny my heritage, dishonour my ancestors?

Sharon put you up to this, didn't she?

She's just thinking about the campaign.

No, she's jealous I might hog all the limelight.

It's not my fault I'm a magnet for the paparazzi.

I would never do anything to stop us saving Pine Lodge.

I understand where you're coming from but other people might not.

Can you tone it down? Just this once.

OK, I'll leave the headdress off, and I'll go easy on the war paint.

-No weapons.

-Not even my favourite hunting spear?

Good man! I'll let Sharon know we're ready to take on Wolstencroft.

-Fancy some pemmican to chew on?

-Yeah.

It's dried buffalo.

Right, that's dinner sorted. Thank God for ready meals.

SHE EXHALES

Oh! Looking rough.

But not that bad.

BABY CRIES

Obviously worse than I thought.

-Thanks for coming in.

-Thank you.

-Bye-bye.

Mr Hollins. Still here?

-Can I have a quick word?

-Sure.

I know that I screwed up my interview big time and there's no way back,

but I just couldn't leave letting you think

that the arrogant, smug, self-satisfied know-it-all

you met earlier was the real me.

-Not all the time, anyway.

-Right.

It would mean a lot for me to work here

and to be able to make a difference to people's lives.

I know there's a whole lot I don't know

but I can promise you I am more than willing to learn.

-Are you going out?

-No, we're staying in.

No riddles, please. I've had a nightmare day.

-Well, luckily, I've got a surprise that'll cheer you up.

-Oh.

DOORBELL RINGS

Takeaway.

-Surprise!

-Are we early?

I cannot emphasise enough how saddened I am

by the proposed closure of Pine Lodge,

but the truth is that tough times call for tough measures.

I assure you there are adequate facilities within the borough

to take up the slack, although they will be slightly more spread out.

So ignore the false information and scare tactics from the other side.

Stop blustering. Stick to the facts!

Facts! You'd like facts? How's this for a fact?

I can prove that a member of your team has lied consistently,

not only about this issue

but also about his own exotic family background.

He's no more Hiawatha's uncle than I am.

That's rubbish! You take that back!

Certainly. If the gentleman in question can prove me wrong.

Now what have you done?

Now, ladies and gentlemen, who would you prefer to listen to?

Your elected representative or a man who appears to have very little grasp of reality?

Allow me to outline the details of our proposal.

Why did you invite them, anyway?

I wanted to do something nice. Excuse me for trying(!)

Nice would have been a glass of wine in front of the telly.

The last thing I wanted after the day I've had was to come home and play the jolly host.

When was the last time you were jolly?

You've had this permanent miserable scowl on your face recently

and I've frankly had enough of it.

And I can't have a bad day at work now?

-Sure you can, just don't bring it home with you!

-Because you never do, do you?

Regular Mary Poppins every time you sashay through the front door!

There's a whole lot more jolly about me than you!

Why don't you just let me do the champagne and you put your feet up?

After all, it's what you're best at!

Having fun listening to the adults arguing, are you?

-You really do have a unique way of making the guests feel welcome, darling.

-You can talk.

You looked like Christmas had been cancelled when you opened the front door.

Don't worry about it, we're used to it. Cheers.

Happy days.

Feels weird being here. Feel all nostalgic.

If you want to buy it back, just let me know.

You've not grown to love it, then?

-Let's not go there, OK?

-So what shall we talk about?

Shall we talk about how I've spent the entire day making myself

and this place look wonderful and you haven't even noticed?

We compete about who can get the best shine on the toilet bowl these days.

We thought you guys were going to be the Brad and Angelina of Letherbridge.

Oh! We have our moments, don't we?

-February was the last time.

-Really, darling? I didn't notice.

That was below the belt, Wolstencroft.

Come on, Howard, all's fair in love and war, you should know that.

Your turn, I think.

This is my fault, I shouldn't have riled him.

-Don't blame yourself, Howard.

-Oh, I don't. I blame him.

Why did you make up such a stupid story?

I'm so sorry.

I really did think I was related to the Sioux

the first time I did my family tree.

Who knew there could be two Ebenezer Smyths

born in Smethwick's Sally Army's Mothers' Refuge on the same day?

By the time I realised I'd traced the wrong one

I was already living the Sioux lifestyle.

It made me feel special.

Being Wolf gave me the confidence to start the campaign to save Pine Lodge.

To jointly start the campaign to save Pine Lodge.

-You should have told us.

-I know, I know. I screwed up.

Come on, Terry, we haven't got all day.

-I'm going to have to give my speech.

-No, you can't, they won't believe a word you say now.

I'll have to do it.

-You haven't got anything prepared.

-Tell me about it.

Oh, here.

Use mine.

Aw, he's so cute. They're gorgeous at this age, aren't they?

You think so? I can't wait until he's ready to go to the pub.

Much more interesting.

Have you actually cooked this evening?

Define cooking.

Preparing ingredients.

Putting them together.

-Putting them in the oven.

-A-ha!

Well, one out of those three, so I suppose it qualifies.

Pine Lodge is such an important facility.

It's the only dedicated building in the area for ex-servicemen,

and despite what Councillor Wolstencroft says...

You mean the big chief?

ALL LAUGH

..we should be angry at this reckless slashing

of an invaluable local service.

Are you on the warpath, then? ALL LAUGH

This isn't a joke, you know!

Wh...

Here. Let me.

Billy Liar's back! What a shambles.

LAUGHTER

Women, eh?

You can't live with 'em, you can't throw 'em down the stairs.

Don't get all Jim Davidson on me. It really doesn't suit you.

-I was just joking.

-Still.

Everything OK?

Peachy. Can't you see?

Having a new baby's a biggie, it must change things.

-HE SNORTS

-What?

I'm trying to work out whether you're being patronising or deliberately stupid.

I'm trying to be a mate. You're not making it easy.

A mate would have stayed away and given us some space.

Zara invited us.

So you thought you'd come over and watch the new parents struggle?

-Did you think you'd feel better about your own relationship?

-Me and Cherry are fine.

Really? She's happy with you out running all the time?

I'm just trying to get fit.

Come on, Jim. How long have you been doing it? Two weeks?

Already it dominates your life. It's your latest obsession, Jimmi.

You've transferred all your OCD into running.

I can be enthusiastic without being obsessed.

And you know where to draw the line, do you?

How do you feel about not being able to pound the pavements tonight? Cos I bet you wanted to.

Little bit anxious, little bit irritated?

Yeah, I'm anxious. Yeah, I'm irritated.

I'm irritated by you and I'm anxious to leave.

And that's not the least bit defensive?

I'm going to go.

-Why?

-Daniel, what have you said?

An inconvenient truth.

That his obsession with running

is just the latest manifestation of his OCD.

I see he's not the only one in denial.

Now, if we allow Pine Lodge to close...

-Show us your chopper!

-ALL LAUGH

Actually, it's not called a chopper, it's called a tomahawk

and it's a very interesting artefact.

At one end is a chopping blade and the other end is a peace pipe.

So when you were offered it, you chose war or peace.

Isn't that neat?

You see, unlike us,

Native Americans treated their old warriors like royalty -

cared for them, and revered them.

Councillor Wolstencroft, on the other hand,

wants to chuck our old soldiers out of a day centre they rely on.

He says it's the tough choice, but it's not. It's the easy choice.

Cut student grants and they're on the streets smashing things up.

But these old soldiers have too much respect for society.

They struggle on, uncomplaining, so they get ignored.

They might have fought their wars 30 or 40 or 50 years ago,

but they're still heroes.

What sort of society do we want to be, eh?

Cold, heartless and ungrateful?

Or like the Sioux?

One that shows that it cares and remembers.

SMATTERING OF APPLAUSE

OK, why don't we all just calm down?

We don't want to spoil a lovely evening, do we?

I've cooked. Ask Cherry.

If they want to go, let them. It's no loss.

Come on.

Thanks(!)

-Just telling him the truth.

-The truth?

Are you sure you want to open that particular can of worms?

Jimmi, we've got to talk about this

STARTS ENGINE

Still no call from the CAB?

It's not going to happen. I screwed it up. It's my own fault, end of.

MOBILE RINGS

I think that's them.

Hello? Oh, hi, Stuart.

What?

That's brilliant!

Oh, really?

That's good to know.

OK, Stuart, OK, bye.

You are looking at the newest member of the CAB volunteers team!

-That's great stuff. Well done, son.

-I knew you'd do it!

So you weren't as rubbish as you thought, then?

I was, actually.

First of all, I was cocky and a bit of a show-off, which didn't go down too well.

Then I thought I should be honest, and he didn't buy that,

-but he gave me the job anyway.

-Why?

Last week I did a concierge job and it was only for Stuart's mum!

She liked what I did and he thinks I've got the diligence and responsibility they're looking for.

I start training next week!

-SHE SCREAMS WITH EXCITEMENT

-Mum, calm down.

Ah, Councillor Wolstencroft. Leaving without saying goodbye?

So, Pine Lodge, have you made a decision?

Well, I've been consulting with my colleagues

and I made it clear that, after considering all the evidence,

Pine Lodge is simply too important to the voters,

er, the community, to simply let it disappear.

I thought you might come to that conclusion.

Thanks for saving me. And Pine Lodge.

I did all right, then?

-You did very well, Wolf Who Hunts At Night.

-You don't have to call me that anymore.

I'm calling you that because you deserve to be called it.

You may not be a Sioux warrior on paper,

but you're a real Sioux warrior there.

-Do you forgive me?

-Oh!

-Blimey!

-Does that answer your question?

-I'll say.

You know, you don't scrub up bad when you're not dressed like a loony.

I don't suppose you fancy going for a drink?

I'd love to. Howard?

No, you go and enjoy yourselves.

-Where shall we go?

-How about Leary's?

-No, Leary's is too loud. What about Dino's, the wine bar?

-Too poncy.

-Everywhere's too poncy for you. What about Banners?

-No. The Grapes.

Marjorie Page called for you. I said you'd be here.

I don't know, my head's just a bit troublesome up there sometimes.

Do you have any biscuits?

Who do you think you are, getting in my face all the time?

"You've got to go back. Time to confront your fears."

Please don't make me go away.

Nobody wants to make you do anything.

But I want the social workers to come and see if they can help you.

I don't need any help.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd