Judging Books Doctors

No! Alfred Hitchcock goes between Howard Hawks and Howard Hughes.

Zeppo Marx - what's he doing under directors?!

KNOCKING

Eh?

It's 8:15 in the morning!

We're closed.

Those are our accounts.

Yes. I'm Patrick Oliver from Wilde and Pleasance,

and I'm doing your return.

But Mr Wilde's always done our accounts.

I'm afraid Mr Wilde has recently retired.

Can I come in? We need to talk.

What's all this about? Why so early?

It's urgent.

People have been talking about the demise of shops

since the vending machine.

I'm not talking about the demise of the shop, I'm talking about the demise of THIS shop.

Times are hard, I know that, everyone knows that.

But we'll be fine - this is a specialist shop,

we're not trying to stack 'em high and sell 'em cheap.

Mr Radley, have you been listening to a word I've been saying?

This isn't about times being hard.

The fact is, the shop should be making a tidy profit.

But that's not what the books are showing.

It's no good showing me. I don't know anything about all that.

Bookkeeping's always been Beth's thing.

Stockkeeping's all over the place, none of the banking tallies

I'm going to have to redo the VAT returns for the last three quarters.

There'll be penalties, interest...

Mr Radley, your business is at risk,

you need to take a look.

This is a mess.

That's what I'm saying.

And if you look at this...

compared to this,

it's getting worse.

Do you think something might be wrong with her?

Dementia or something?

I don't know. Is she old?

She's the same age as me.

I thought maybe she was just... I don't know, having a few off days.

This is more serious than that.

You are going to need to find yourself a new bookkeeper.

Now,

at Wilde and Pleasance we do offer a bookkeeping service.

It's another expense of course,

Morning!

I'll think about it.

Don't say anything to Beth. Please. Let me deal with it.

But I'll need the ledger.

I'll get it redone somehow and get it back to you, I promise.

Oh, good morning.

Mr Oliver just dropped in to order a book.

Look at you. You look more and more like Walter Matthau every day.

And I've got today's game, by the way - Great Cheese Films.

I'm going to open with East of Edam.

You go upstairs and get changed - give yourself a chance to think of a few.

I'll put the kettle on.

You're not still playing the ice queen.

Mum! It was a joke.

Please tell your father and sister to bog off.

Mum says...

Shut up!

-And you can also tell them that I'll show them who can cook.

-Great.

Not for you. Or you.

Tonight, I shall be cooking something a bit special for me and Jack.

And while we're sitting down to our home-cooked banquet,

you two can have frozen pizza.

Sounds good to me. Just give me a shout if you need anything.

I'll be upstairs cramming some Citizens Advice stuff.

Listen, love...

There we are.

Enjoy!

Did you make a note of that on the stock sheet?

SHE MUTTERS

I was wondering about getting a computerized till.

Does all that for you.

And get rid of that lovely thing?

No. Anyway, I prefer doing it the old-fashioned way.

Just me, and my quill and scrolls.

By the way, I've thought of another one - The Gouda, The Bad, And The Ugly.

Ibsen's Cheddar Gabler.

It's supposed to be films.

It's a play and a film. Several films, in fact.

OK, in that case, how about

"Omelette" by William Shakespeare.

But that doesn't work - we're doing cheese films.

I know - it's a cheese omelette.

With the famous soliloquy "To Brie or not to Brie".

-Look, Beth, there's something...

-Oh, before I forget,

I need to nip out for a minute.

Will you be all right on your own?

-Of course. Where are you off to?

-Just a bit of shopping.

Are you all right? Do you need your spray?

No, I'm fine. Thanks.

Why don't I make us another quick cup of coffee before I go?

Why not?

I'll just print out the prescription for you.

Er..

last one.

Right, I think what I'll do is,

I will send this to reception,

-and they can print it out there for you, OK?

-OK.

Sorry about that.

Right. I'm off out

and I'll pop into the bank on the way back.

Um...really?

I mean, I can do that later, if you want.

Don't be silly. I go right past.

And I'll bring you back a sandwich for lunch.

That'll give you plenty of time to think of some more Great Cheese Films.

You're definitely not on top of your game today.

-Bye!

-Bye!

Fancy a cuppa?

Yeah.

Kettle's just boiled. Grab the milk, would you?

PHONE ALERT

Everything all right?

Yeah.

Yeah. It's Cherry, she's being a bit over the top at the minute.

What is it with girls, why do they suddenly go manic one minute?

I don't know, mate.

I wouldn't worry about it, anyway.

It's probably just cos she loves you. And that's just inexplicable.

Funny.

Jimmi!

I've been looking for you. I wanted to talk to you about running.

I've been thinking about it,

and I don't think I gave it a proper go last time,

so I'm going to come running with you at lunchtime.

But you don't like running.

Well if you don't want me to come.

No! I just thought...

-I just gave up too soon. So...

-OK.

Great.

If you even dare try think about it.

Credit me with some sense.

Not even in matching track suits? Mr Trott?

See you at lunchtime.

Love you.

Boeuf bourguignon with a twist, followed by a vanilla gelato

with a cognac tuile.

What?

Dinner menu.

So basically, stew with ice cream and brandy snaps.

You Philistine.

Thought Rob was a beer and curry kind of guy?

This isn't for Rob.

Oh...now I feel silly.

I just forgot to bring it.

It doesn't matter at all. I can pop by the shop on my way home and pick it up then.

What time do you close?

We say we close at six, but we never do.

We're usually still chatting away at half past six or even seven.

Thank you. You tell me what it was and I'll have it ready for you.

AS SEAN CONNERY: Bond on set.

Of course.

So how have you been since your last visit?

A bit worn out, to be honest.

I know I've not been myself recently,

but then neither has my boss.

And constantly feeling like I've got to keep tabs on him is exhausting.

Have you spoken to him about it?

It's difficult to talk to him about anything serious. That's not what we do.

Anyway, I thought I'd ought to find out what's wrong with me first.

I don't know what we'll do if we're both falling apart.

Now, last time you came in you said you were having problems with your central vision,

and you were relying more and more on your peripheral...

Is it a tumour?

No. Nothing like that.

Oh...

You have something called AMD - age-related macular degeneration.

Is that curable? What is it?

It's a disease of the retina which affects your ability to see in fine detail.

But the good news is we've identified the problem.

So I'll arrange for you to see a specialist and we'll go from there.

Will I still be able to work?

It will be a case of managing your condition.

You will have to ask your boss to make a few allowances

but this kind of AMD develops very slowly,

so with a bit of assistance, you should be fine.

-I've been thinking about holidays.

-Really? Do we need a holiday?

We don't need one. But none of the best things in life are things you need.

Can we just slow down a bit?

Anyway, I was thinking something romantic like a cruise.

Crammed in with a bunch of strangers, unable to escape? Like prison with seasickness thrown in.

Safari? Mrs Tembe's always talking about Botswana. Or Paris?

Come on, we're not even halfway!

-You go and come back. I'll have caught my breath and we can finish together.

-Sure?

-Yeah.

-Back in five.

Don't worry about me.

Hi. Get what you needed? Your shopping.

Oh, yes. Sorry. Here, I brought you a sandwich.

Thanks.

-Look, Beth, there's something I need to say.

-Me too.

The thing is... You go.

No, you.

How about Grated Expectations?

Oh, I see. Grated cheese. Very good.

Oh!

-Are you all right?

-It's nothing, I just had a bad night.

-You've been having a lot of bad nights recently.

-Mm.

Maybe I'll go for a little walk, get a bit of fresh air.

-Oh, what was it you wanted to say?

-Oh, nothing. It'll keep.

Won't be long.

-You did it, well done.

-You ran off!

-You told me to!

-Don't worry, it gets easier.

-I don't know.

-It really does.

I mean, I don't know if it's for me. Running.

-I know you were only going slow for me.

-I wasn't!

Jimmi, it's very sweet of you.

But running's your thing, and I want you to be able to do it how you want to do it.

I guess you're right.

There's nothing wrong with doing your own thing, is there? It's healthy.

It doesn't mean we love each other any less.

Come on, lunch.

-You OK?

-Yeah, fine.

Very nice. Just like all the others.

Go on, open it.

-It's...

-It's heart-shaped.

Again, thank you for seeing me at short notice, doctor.

That's all fine. You can button yourself up now.

And the angina episodes, are they responding as usual to the GTN spray?

Yes. It's not that.

But the twinges have been coming more and more often.

I think it's getting worse.

Anything changed recently? Any extra stress that could be causing it?

-Home life? Business?

-Both, I suppose.

OK, I'll refer you to the heart specialist.

You do look a little bit tired, if you don't mind me saying so.

This person I work with, I think she might be getting a bit past it.

I have to spend half the night undoing what she's done during the day.

I don't know how long I can go on.

No wonder you're exhausted.

I can't bring it up, I don't want to embarrass her.

If she's going dotty, she's going dotty.

-I'm not exactly going to sack her.

-But if she's not up to the job...

You sound like our accountant!

You are risking your health.

It's not that easy, we're companions.

Mr Radley, you need to take things a bit easier, learn to slow down.

If that means discussing it with your staff,

and coming up with a plan, then so be it.

Have you got your mobile charger?

In my office. Come and rummage through my drawers.

You are such a schoolboy.

Ah! Dr Tyler.

Ah, Mrs Thompson.

I was just passing by, and I wondered if you had my book.

Is it OK to talk?

He's been in the stock room all afternoon.

I know it must be upsetting for you, but..

It's not that. I'm worried about Arthur.

He's shaky already. How's he going to cope if he thinks I need help, too?

-Come in.

-Hi, I... Oh!

I was hoping to squeeze another run in.

-You don't mind, do you?

-No, course not. I was going to suggest it actually.

Must've been really frustrating with me before.

It's not that, it's when the spirit moves you.

-Absolutely. Hit the road, mister.

-See you at home.

Hello?

Dr Tyler!

Mr Radley? What are you doing here?

This is my shop. What are you doing here?

I was just... So you're Beth's boss.

How do you know Beth?

I'm her doctor.

Did she ask you to tell me?

Has she got some sort of dementia? Is it Alzheimer's?

What? No! It's got nothing to do with her. She was worried about you.

-She's worried about me?

-She mentioned you were a little bit shaky, a few uncharacteristic mistakes.

She thinks I'm making mistakes?! Look at this!

-I'm trying to fix it, but it's impossible.

-Arthur? >

I'm just finishing something. This is a nightmare.

Arthur, can you come here? >

Coming!

I don't understand.

-How can this have happened?

-I'm certain I only ordered a dozen copies.

We can't afford all these!

I'm sorry.

I don't think you have any idea.

-I said I'm sorry.

-Mistakes like this cost us money. The whole business is at risk.

All of this! More than forty years of...

-Arthur?

-Have you got your spray?

Top drawer.

Then call an ambulance.

-It just feels like angina again but it's been coming and going all day.

-Best to be sure.

Ambulance please, immediately.

Mmmm. And now the piece de resistance.

-Chocolate?!

-Rich, earthy, exotic...

But I like your normal beef bourguignon.

I read about it in a magazine. Mexicans put chocolate in their stews all the time.

-What's that smell?

-Jack!

-You've got to be a little adventurous once in a while.

-Not that.

Oh, my tuiles!

SMOKE ALARM BEEPS

BURGLAR ALARM BEEPS

I'm so sorry.

No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get flustered.

Who knows, it could have been my mistake.

Anyway, they're good books, I'm sure they'll sell.

-Everything will be fine. As long as you're all right.

-Of course it will. And I'm fine.

It won't! And you're not! For goodness sake, you two.

Will you just please talk to each other - please!

Beth, tell him what's wrong with you.

You don't have to if you don't want to.

I've got AMD - age-related macular degeneration.

My eye sight is deteriorating, and to be truthful,

I've been finding it too much.

Especially, forgive me,

feeling like I have to look after you at the same time.

Your eyesight?

I know I've been fooling myself.

You need somebody younger, healthier. But, Arthur,

these have been the best years of my life.

Arthur, go on your turn.

My angina's been getting worse recently because I'm exhausted.

Pure and simple.

And I'm exhausted because I spend half of every night trying

to reshelve the books and reorganize the stock room.

-Sorting all the things that you've done wrong throughout the day.

-Oh, Arthur!

The thing is, I thought you had dementia.

I thought it was the beginning of the end,

and I just wanted to keep things going as long as possible.

But now we know what it is, we can get it treated,

learn to deal with it.

Can't we?

We should, at least, help Beth with her vision. As for you...

-Why didn't you say something?

-Why didn't you?

I thought you'd get rid of me.

Couple of daft old codgers, we are.

Right, so get people in to help you.

a large text bookkeeping systems, a computerised till.

-ALARM CONTINUES

-Turn it off!

-What do you think I'm doing!

4571.

I know! It's not working.

What is going on?

Mum's blown a fuse.

She's gone and set the burglar alarm off.

4571 star, to reset.

What in God's name have you been doing?

I haven't been doing anything.

Mum's been putting chocolate in her beef stew and burning brandy snaps.

Right, Jack, you tidy up as much as you can. Immie, set the table.

-What are you going to do?

-I'll be back in two secs.

Shall I order a takeaway?

You can go in the ambulance, if you like.

No, no. No need to make a fuss. I'll be fine.

It's just a precaution.

-You stay and lock up and I'll see you in the morning.

-Oh, I just assumed you two were...

No. We're much better than a couple, we're best friends.

Well, best friends talk to each other.

Tell each other what's going on, how they're feeling. It's not "modern", it's just normal.

-Thank you, doctor.

-Yes, thank you.

And thank you for the book.

I've got tomorrow's game, by the way.

Go on.

Great Dog Breed Films.

OK... I've got one already. The Dogfather.

Nice. But it's got to be a breed.

Like, er...

Where Beagles Dare.

Very good! The remake, starring Brad Pitbull.

You ring me if you need anything.

-And don't worry, I'll lock up.

-I won't worry. See you tomorrow.

Where did you..? That's one of mine!

Yeah, I came home this lunchtime and got it out of the freezer.

And one of your apple crumbles.

Thank you very much(!) Very supportive(!)

I am supporting you, we all support you, but this - the real you.

It's true, Mum. You don't have to do anything trendy or flashy.

I've always said you're a brilliant cook.

Well. Thank you, everyone.

OK.

You're right. I should have more confidence in my ability.

Exactly.

Proper, hearty, family food.

I'm going to win Supachef, and I'm going to win it my way.

Cherry? What are you still doing here?

-You OK?

-Yeah, I'm fine.

Is this what girls do? Look at wedding photos and blub?

-Jimmi, I'm so sorry.

-What for?

I've just been completely over the top today.

Don't be silly.

Jimmi, you don't understand.

Jimmi...

I love you so much.

And I love you. Come on, everything's OK. Come here.

-30 of them!

-30?

-How many times have I told you?

You have got what it takes.

You know you want to. Come into town for a bit.

I've got to go and get some special food for my mum

because she's doing Supachef.

They look delicious! If you have any room left,

-you can try one of these.

-Wow!

They look fantastic!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd