The Way to a Man's Heart Doctors

HE BRUSHES TEETH

SHE COUGHS

How do I look?

Like a winner.

We've got to be even better this time.

The first round was just small fry. Today's going to be tougher.

You slaughtered them in the first round. You can do it again.

Have you shaved yet? Your designer stubble might put them off.

I thought it looked cool.

It does.

But I'm not sure rugged good looks are going to cut it with the judges.

If you insist.

We've got to have the right image, Tom, or we're nowhere.

Damn.

Come on, Zara.

How many times do I have to say that I'm sorry?

We can make this work.

You know?

I miss you.

I miss both of you.

Where are you going?

Take a wild guess. The fish are jumping and the cotton is high.

-Whatever.

-If it's about the sealant round the bath...

No! Come and sit down, I'll make you a cuppa.

I don't need one, I have a flask.

Rob!

HE SIGHS

Second round, Superchef. Today.

Yes, but you're not in it any more.

Not exactly, no. But you are.

That was just a fluke. I'm not going to go back there and be humiliated.

"Humiliated"?! Vaughan thought you were the best thing since sliced bread.

Make that olive bread. With sun-dried tomatoes.

Hm. He doesn't know what he's talking about.

Yes, he does! And that's not the only natural talent you've got...

Flattery will get you nowhere.

Anyway, I'm going to be your secret weapon.

Oh, yeah?

I'm going to be your sous chef. Your every culinary wish will be my command.

And when we get back tonight...

SHE WHISPERS

HE SIGHS

I'll never live it down at the station!

Yes!

I've got to go cos I'm going to be late.

But leave everything to me. All you've got to do is turn up.

And while I'm gone, would you have a look at that sealant round the bath?

Yes, love.

HE SIGHS

Is Zara not in yet?

No.

Morning, Mrs Tembe. All set?

Mrs Tembe, did I leave the campus vaccination forms here?

I am all ready.

You just have to be highly efficient and organised.

Sorry?

My commiserations that you will not be joining us this afternoon.

I will be. I'm Rob's new sous chef.

Oh.

Well, maybe a change of personnel might make the difference to us both.

I have a few other tricks up my sleeve.

Yeah?

And I will not be letting you into my secrets a second time.

Bring it on.

Ladies, it's just a bit of fun.

All's fair in love and cooking?

I'll see you both later.

PHONE RINGS

Good morning!

PAPERS DROP

The Mill Health Centre. How may I help you?

Of course.

We're nearly there.

If you could twist their arm for us, that would be great.

That's really sweet of you, thanks so much.

Good news?

This is the one, Tom. The estate agent thinks they'll take less because of the current climate.

Great.

I can just see it now. Red carpet entrance,

crystal lettering on the menu...

-Drop-dead gorgeous food.

-Of course.

How about we make one night a music night?

-Get good local bands in...

-I'm not sure that would work.

It'll open it up to a whole different crowd.

Yes, but Tom, we want our restaurant to be exclusive.

It's not going to be for everybody. They've got the rest of Birmingham for that.

You're keen, aren't you?

Thought I'd put in a bit of practice before this afternoon.

Great!

But it's entrees, Tom.

Raspberry jelly's more desserts, don't you think?

It is my pleasure. Goodbye.

Dr Cassidy,

I just wanted to make sure that you were in the right frame of mind

-for the Superchef competition this afternoon?

-Of course.

It's just I would not to work with a sous chef who thought cooking

was "just a bit of fun".

Oh.

Dr Carter was maybe a little too over-enthusiastic.

I hope I have not made a mistake in the other direction.

Not at all, Mrs Tembe, I completely understand.

I'm looking forward to it.

Oh. Good.

Could you send Mr Constantine through, please?

Ah, Daniel. Can I help?

Thought it was time I reclaimed my office.

-Does Zara know about this?

-Not exactly.

But as she's going to be on leave for a while, I don't think she'll mind.

Leave?

Come in.

Dr Carmichael phoned this morning.

Requested a period of leave.

Right.

Right, I better crack on.

Did she say how long the leave was for?

I'm sorry, but I can't discuss another member of staff.

No, of course.

I may need to hire a locum - to cover her workload.

Yes...

Good. Well, if there's anything I can help with...

Dr Granger, I have been trying to catch up with you all morning.

Now, Mrs Dale has rung three times, and...

Are you all right, Dr Granger?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Are you sure I cannot get you something? A drink, maybe...?

No. I'm fine, thank you.

Are you sure you are all right?

I will get Dr Clay.

What's that?

The apron I wore in Thailand. Always brings me luck.

It got your attention, didn't it?

We're a long way from beach bars now, Tom.

But that's where it all started.

Those prawns you caught and cooked just for me?

Can't get fresher than that.

D'you remember that marathon scooter ride across the island?

I remember what was at the end of it.

When we've got our own place, of course you can wear it.

But for today, I've got us these.

The Letherbridge News might want our photo!

Bet they'd rather hear about my lucky apron.

Tom, we're professionals, aren't we?

We've got to look it, haven't we?

Do it for me.

I've just got to wait for her to cool off. Can't be in the doghouse forever, can I?

Sounds a bit more serious than that.

-No, she'll come round.

-She must be pretty upset.

-Thought you were supposed to be on my side?

-I am...

Since Joe came along, things have been...difficult.

"Difficult"?

Different - you know.

You're just going through a bad patch, that's all. We've all been there.

-You two are made for each other. You're bound to sort it out.

-Yeah.

'Course we will.

You can't work like this. Go home. I'll cover for you.

-I'm fine.

-No, I'll have a word with Howard.

OK. Thank you.

I intend to give my food an African flavour.

Gimmicks won't get you anywhere.

Hello, contestants. Good to see you all again.

-Knives at the ready?

-SHE LAUGHS

-Only joking.

-My sides are splitting(!)

Still with us, Mrs Hollins?

Yeah, I'm going to be the sous chef, although I've taken on board

-everything that you said last round...

-Good, good.

Delighted to see you again, Rob.

Now, before we start, I'd like to introduce you to my fellow judge.

Madame Richelieu, esteemed French chef

and owner of La Tour d'Eiffel.

In Tipton.

Now, as you know, the subject of today is entrees.

Entrees - the stairway to heaven, the goose that lays the golden egg.

I want you to awaken our senses to a world of possibility.

Surprise, serenade, seduce us....

As I'm sure you're all aware, this year is our dear Queen's Diamond Jubilee.

So, in honour of Her Gracious Majesty,

I want you to design an entree fit for the Queen.

I would like nothing more than to cook for Her Majesty.

I hope there are no republicans amongst us.

You'll find everything you could possibly need over there.

You have 45 minutes!

DISH CLATTERS

Tom!

Off with his head.

Thanks very much. Take care. See you later.

Zara's left Daniel.

No. Why?

I don't know. He didn't really explain.

What exactly did he say?

Seems things haven't been good since Joe was born.

-Does he know where she is?

-He can't get hold of her.

-And that's all he said?

-He's not really in the mood to do any talking, so I've sent him home.

I didn't think it would happen to those two, though.

We're all right though, aren't we?

Yeah, 'course.

Have you checked the rabbit? I swear I heard the timer.

Don't forget we've to chop the parsley... Where's the yellow onion?

Give us a sec. One thing at a time!

Do you think these mushrooms are OK? Will I sling some button ones in?

Dissent in the ranks, Rob?

To be a great chef you have to rule with an iron fist in an oven glove.

Right. Sorry. Karen, check the rabbit.

Yes, chef.

-Rabbit? Interesting choice.

-Yeah, my Auntie Ag used it all the time.

She made the best rabbit stew when I was a boy. She taught me all I know.

She taught you well. I expect great things.

Thanks very much.

OK, my novice nutritionists. Time's wing'd chariot is fast approaching.

Finishing flourishes, if you will.

Sorry, I need this.

I am afraid I need it too.

Yes, but I got here before you.

I think you will find that I reached for it first.

I will not be long.

No, I have to have it now or it's going to be ruined.

Well, if you need it that much.

It's OK, Stel, I've sorted it. Sorry.

Thank you.

Thanks for that(!) I'm still not sure about that jelly, Tom.

Trust me. It's going to wow them.

No manners. If she wants to play dirty, that is her affair.

-I do not have to do that to win.

-Absolutely.

Three minutes everyone, three minutes.

You will hurry up, Dr Cassidy!

Sorry.

Grate! Grate!

That's it. Times up, everyone stop.

Thank you.

So, Rob, how are you going to regale the Royals?

I've made oven-roasted rabbit

with a creamed walnut and wild mushroom sauce,

on a bed of mixed leaves.

Mm! This rabbit has a spring in its step.

And the sauce turns into a jig, a minuet, a waltz of pure delights.

-Thank you.

-It's all down to you, Rob.

There's no woman behind the throne on this one.

What?! Did he...?

So what have we here?

I am proud to present to you,

a chicken and red pepper soup with a coconut-flake garnish.

Ah, the scent of the savanna!

Mm! Delightful!

Chicken as tender as the night.

Pepper, like a sprinkling of fireworks to keep the palate awake.

A huge African sunset of a dish.

Just the thing before a bracing walk at Balmoral.

Oh!

Shredded Barbary duck, on a celeriac puree,

served with a radicchio and cucumber salad with red onion jus,

and raspberry jelly.

Looks an awful lot for a starter but I admire the audacity,

the sheer joie de vivre of putting all these together.

Mm! I needn't have worried.

This is an Olympic relay of tastes.

The richness of the duck hands over to the feisty celeriac,

which runs along steadily for a bit, before transferring the torch

to the fresh and rich radicchio, which readily transfers it to the sweet and tangy jus.

It is then held aloft by the raspberry jelly

which lights the flame in a crisp but sharp end to a glorious display.

Mm.

The gold medal goes to the raspberry jelly.

A risky choice! What led you down that route?

I wanted to surprise you.

You certainly did that. A stellar dish, Stella.

Well done to you all.

Now, Madame Richelieu and I need a moment to confer.

This is worse than sitting exams!

That soup has not failed me yet.

In Botswana, people offered me money for that recipe.

I refused, of course.

Stella's sous chef doesn't look very happy.

He's not the only one.

You have all excelled yourselves.

But as you know, it is perfection we are seeking.

We have reached a decision...

Brian and Tanya,

I'm afraid it is upon your head the axe must fall.

We won't be seeing you in the next round.

Thank you, you may go.

Special commendation goes to Stella.

It looked like a recipe for disaster but you pulled it off.

The raspberry jelly won us over.

Your dish had creativity, originality, flair.

-Well done!

-Thank you. Thank you so much.

You don't know how much this means to me.

But I will be better in the next task.

I can be a million times better.

So, greater glories await.

Why didn't you tell me about the leave? Where are you?

How are you doing? You're not telling me anything.

Why are you keeping me...?

PHONE BEEPS

PHONE RINGS

'Hi, this is Zara Carmichael. Leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

I know they were quail, but stuffed eggs?!

-The Queen Mother's favourite, apparently.

-Doesn't matter. We're winning aren't we?

-You all right?

-Yeah, fine thanks.

To my untrained eye I just wanted to say,

I think what you're doing in there is really good.

-Thanks.

-Tom,

we don't want to get too close to the competition do we?

I was just saying that I think your partner is really good.

-He's going to be even better when the restaurant opens.

-Oh, you're opening a restaurant?

It'll be the best in Birmingham.

We'll use the Superchef title as a launch pad.

Well, you haven't won yet.

Only a matter of time, isn't it?

You don't think you actually have a chance, do you?

And Miss Rainbow Nation's USP is beginning to get boring.

Stella...

Very well done, by the way.

Thank you! We're under such pressure, aren't we?

You didn't do so badly yourself, though.

Thanks. Thank you, although I will be keeping a much closer eye

on my timings next time...

The Aztecs called it "food of the gods".

They made human sacrifices to it.

-Blood?

-He means "chocolate."

That's right - chocolate!

You can make whatever you want, as long as it contains chocolate.

That's my kind of starter.

I'm looking for sophistication, flair, wit.

The sort of thing you you'd find in the best restaurants in Paris, London, New York.

Right, Tom, I know just what to make for this. We did it on my French course.

Hang on, Stella. I don't think it's worth risking them finding out you did that course.

D'you think anyone here's been near a real cordon bleu?

Vaughan doesn't fool me. I bet he's never been further than Coventry.

-And how do we know Miss Pokerface is really French?

-Stella!

Wait. I've got sweat on my forehead, wipe it off.

-Quick! Quick!

-OK, just give me a minute...

Karen. What is that smell?!

It'll be all right. You'll taste the plum more than the chocolate

No, you won't. I can't serve this.

Do I detect a hint of burnt chocolate in the air?

I took my eye off the ball for a moment. It's an unforgivable error,

but I shall re-make it. It won't happen again.

I love your fighting spirit, Rob!

A word to the wise.

It would be a great pity to allow your sous to bring you down.

A man with your talents deserves to go all the way.

Why don't you get the plates ready, love?

They are ready.

Polish them or something.

A fondue? How marvellous.

We thought it would be fun.

Not "fun" fun.

Ow! I've cut my finger!

Tut-tut, Miss Graves. First aid kit, over there, quick as you can.

-Can I have a few extra minutes for the pain?

-It's OK, Stella, we can do this.

No! Mr Radcliffe, you've got to stop everybody.

"Got to"?!

Do you think the creme de la creme allows a little cut to stem their creative juices?

It's not fair! You just don't like me, do you?

-Calm down, Stella. I've got it.

-Oh, what do you know?!

Five minutes, everyone.

Mrs Tembe, this fondue is exceptional!

The venison rolls over and surrenders gratefully to the chocolate.

I really cannot fault it.

Thank you.

Sublime. The perfect wedding.

The marriage of plum and chocolate - a match made in heaven.

The beef, we'll be talking about it for years to come.

Well done, Rob.

Ah, something different here, methinks?

Yes. A pan-fried pork tenderloin

in a white-chocolate sauce.

HE COUGHS

-Oh!

-What's wrong?!

Too much salt.

You cannot be serious!

I'm afraid so.

It's perfect!

This is you, isn't it? What have you done?!

I do not know what you mean. I have not touched your food!

Then it's you. You knew you couldn't win.

-Now, hang on a minute.

-They've ruined it for us, Tom. This is sabotage.

You have to give us another chance!

No... it's not Stella.

You?

Why, Tom?

I'm afraid I cannot be held responsible for the actions of a rogue sous chef.

Only two people can go through to the final round.

The couple leaving us today will be Tom and Stella.

NO!

This is all your fault!

Come on, put that down.

Just because Vaughan's got a thing about you!

Eh?! Not his fault you lost.

You can't do this to me. I'm better than the lot of you!

-Just take me home, Tom.

-No, Stella.

-I'm not coming home.

-What?!

I'll get Ben to collect my stuff.

You'll get nowhere without me.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Why am I even bothered?!

I'll do it without you... losers!

Well, I'm glad to see at least one half of you is in your right mind.

I look forward to seeing the rest of you in the final round.

-You going to be all right?

-Yeah.

I've realised what I really love.

Well, the best of luck.

Oh!

HE FLICKS THROUGH TV CHANNELS

HE SOBS

That was fun, wasn't it?

Well done, Mrs Tembe. See you next time.

That is very sporting of you, Sgt Hollins. Mrs Hollins.

It was.

So what are we doing next round? Has Vaughan said what he wants yet?

There won't be a next round, Karen, because you're fired.

Huh? Alan Sugar.

I'm sorry, but you're too much of a liability. I can't work with you.

You... What you on about?

I could have lost because of you.

You're only in this because of me.

I need somebody who can focus.

You were getting distracted every five minutes by what everyone else was doing.

Just cos Vaughan's paid you a few nice comments you think you're God's gift?!

-He only wants to get in your pants!

-Oh, there's no need to be like that.

I've...

I've cooked for this family everyday for 20 years,

and you've got the cheek...

Yes, but there's a whole world of difference between cooking that,

and this kind of competition-level cuisine.

You're even talking like him now.

-Well, you're going to go all drama queen...

-I'm not going all drama...

Was it the chocolate sauce?

Not just.

All right, then.

PHONE RINGS

-Hello?

-Jed, it's Daniel.

I've got nothing to say to you.

Please don't hang up. I just want to know that they're OK.

As well as can be expected.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Spare me your excuses.

-Please tell me they're safe.

-They're both fine.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I did.

I'm sorry too, Daniel. But I hope you'll respect their privacy.

Are they with you?

-Please.

-They're not here, so there's no point driving down to Weston.

That's all I'll say.

Jed, please! Jed!

HE CRIES

I heard this thing once, yeah?

On telly. "Six degrees of separation", it was about.

Whoever you are - up, down, high, low,

you know someone, who knows someone,

who knows anyone else on Earth.

-Except...

-Hello!

..if you want the ugly truth,

some of us ain't so connected, are we?

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