Untouchable - Part 1 Doctors

'I heard this thing once, yeah? On telly, or...dunno.

'Anyway, six degrees of separation, it was about.

'Whoever you are - up, down, high, low -

'you know someone who knows someone who knows anyone else on Earth.

'All connected, ain't we?

'Nice one. Except...

'..if you want the ugly truth, some of us ain't so connected, are we?

'I mean, most people go out of their way so as to not touch me.

'Well, normally.'

DOOR BANGS

Hey, hey.

-Please.

-Come on.

DOOR BANGS

At the back, mate! Like Usain Bolt, or something.

'Just find a way to survive, that's all.'

Thank you. Thank you.

Enough to melt your heart, ain't it?

If it wasn't frozen solid.

And if we didn't have to blow the gaff before that copper gets back.

No biggie.

'Unless today's the day.'

-Ooh, that's just the ticket.

-What's wrong with the one we've got?

-It's taken me years to wear it in.

-Mission accomplished, I'd say.

It's like the Grand Canyon down your end.

-And it doesn't go with the new house.

-Oh, Lady Muck strikes again.

I suppose I should be grateful that you're not trying to trade me in for a new model.

No, I need a chauffeur, don't I?

Take me down the sofa shop at lunchtime.

You owe me, Rob Hollins!

We get the basics sorted, we'll be laughing, eh?

I will, you'll just be...

Yeah, all right, keep your hair on.

It stings like a...when it's cold. It's cold!

Yep, there we go.

Ladies and gents, Owen and Donut have left the building!

Like a fridge in there anyway, right?

Needles, food and maybe even a proper bed. How's that sound?

How about a nice girl to warm it up?

Shut up. I can dream, can't I?

Like the geezer said, "We're all in the gutter,

"but some of us are looking at the stars."

I know, I've got eyes, ain't I? I told you, she's a pipe dream.

Out of my league.

No, you want to seize the sodding moment,

you seize your own.

All right?

'And she says something that ain't actually that friendly and...

'..yeah.'

All right? We stick to the basics, yeah?

We do not normally allow cleaning during surgery hours.

-It is very disruptive.

-Yes, sorry.

Erm, Mrs Tembe, have you got the...?

Yes, I will bring them through.

I do not think the Practice Manager will be very pleased to hear

that you were late on the first day of a new contract.

I am very sorry. It will not happen again.

Hey! How did you get this job?

Sorry.

-Now, are you eating properly?

-Yeah. All right, Mum.

Well, you can't balance your insulin otherwise, can you?

And don't leave it so long next time.

You're like my Jack, you are.

Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow.

Happy birthday! 21 today.

Yeah. Key to the door and all that.

-Is that my long-acting?

-Yeah, and I've got you some syringes.

Are you all right for the short-acting stuff?

Yeah, got loads back with my gear.

-And how about a bed for tonight?

-Whoa, easy now.

I like a bit of chat-up first.

I mean, roof over your head, with the nights drawing in.

What, you know someone with a sofa going spare?

-No, I...

-No, I got a roof, ain't I? It's made of stars.

No-one telling me what to do. You can't top that.

SHE COUGHS VIOLENTLY

-No. It is not enough.

-Sorry, darling.

I do all I can for my girls, but margins are tight all over.

But the extra shift!

I was giving it away as it was,

and now I've got sergeant major manager in there

flipping his wig because you were late.

I've had to bung him a freebie to make up for it.

My extra shift ran over. And then, a policeman.

Whoa. I don't know about that, and I don't want to know about that.

Please. I was counting on the money.

We've all got bills to pay.

If I don't pay my bills, then we're all in trouble.

They mount up like you wouldn't believe. And where's your cap?

You haven't lost your cap, have you? They cost a pretty penny and all.

-Have you seen Heston? I need a consult on a patient.

-No.

Dr Carter has left for the day. A local authority conference.

Is it this patient?

Oh, yeah. Thanks.

Excuse me.

-I am afraid I have mislaid my cap.

-Oh, well.

-If somebody hands it in, then...

-No, please. May I look?

I will lose wages.

What, for a cap? That seems a little harsh.

Well, I'm sure it will be all right. Just be discreet, eh?

You know what they say,

"Wherever you lay your hat, that is your home."

I am from Botswana originally. Now, you are Nigerian, yes?

So, have you been here long?

-Did Heston leave this?

-I do not know.

She has lost her cap. Go through, go through.

-Is it not about your patient?

-Yeah, it's a diagnosis,

a rare parasitical disease.

Bit of a long shot, though. When did he have chance to see her?

Well, it is more legible than usual for Dr Carter.

Although I did have a quiet word with him

about handwriting just the other day.

With friends, honesty is always the best policy.

Nah. Only got one bed, mate. I told them to keep it.

Unless you want it?

Yeah. Rather have another boys' night out, wouldn't we?

You and me, mate, eh?

Team, ain't we? Team Donut!

And just now, Team Donut could eat a horse through a straw.

-MRS TEMBE:

-Oh, Dr Tyler!

Was Dr Carter right about your patient?

-KEVIN:

-Yeah, bang on, I think. Got to hand it to him.

I'd never have caught that from the off.

And early treatment is critical.

-MRS TEMBE:

-He is a very fine doctor.

-JIMMI:

-Mandy, got any tongue depressors?

-MANDY:

-Um, yes. I wanted to speak to you, actually, about tattoo removal.

-JIMMI:

-Why? Were you on the razz last night?

Big Issue! Get 'em here!

We need a dog on a string, don't we?

People always stump up for animals. Come on, get 'em while they're hot!

Here you go, then.

Hope you boys have got somewhere to warm up.

Got 'em at the Shelter on Bewley Street, so we're sorted.

Well, that's good. You make sure he eats right, OK?

Leave it out, Mum.

You heard, better break for lunch.

Oh, no. I didn't give her her change!

Hold up, who's minding the cash?!

Here, Karen won't mind.

Team Donut emergency.

Yeah, takeaway order, ta.

Deep-pan pepperoni, with extra beef...uh, pineapple,

goats' cheese, anchovies and garlic.

Oh, and an egg on top.

Yeah, it's for my girly, Donata.

And she's expecting, got cravings and that.

No, I'll pick it up, mate.

-This is great, eh?

-It's all right.

-What's wrong with it?

-Nothing.

Nothing, right. So, I'm not wrong?

Is it the same nothing that's not wrong with the rest of them,

or is it a different kind of nothing?

It's the same nothing that's wrong with the one we've got.

We don't need another sofa, OK?

Hang on! You talked me into this!

Worth a try, eh?

I mean, who's going to eat it with all that...whatever on it?

Result!

-Oi!

-Run, run.

Tastes the best, doesn't it?

What are you on about? Magic moment, this.

Got to take 'em where you find them. You can see miles from up here.

Top of the world.

'Down, down.

'Only so far can you go before you hit the bottom.

'Maybe today is the day.'

What you playing at?!

Where's Team Donut going to be without Donut, eh?

Come on.

It is matter of basic security.

When he entrusted me with the inventory,

Mr Bellamy was very clear about the importance of keeping a tight ship.

Don't think your ship could be much tighter, Mrs Tembe.

-I didn't leave it unlocked.

-And yet it was, with your keys still in it!

Because someone borrowed them and left them in there.

It happens all the time.

Well, of course it will

if you leave them lying around for every Tom, Dick or passers-by to...

I have stew.

And I was paid.

So, everything will be good now.

We'll get there earlier tomorrow, yeah?

Cadge a couple of beds from the off.

If I tell Steve about those kids, he might even float us

a couple of papers without the up front.

What do you think?

What? What do you want?

Another pizza? Extra nuts and a goldfish?

What?

Oh.

Thought it was something easy. Nah, you're all right. Once bit, eh?

All right? I mean, still?

Buy you a cup of tea?

I've seen you around. So, I just wanted to introduce myself, proper.

Owen.

Mates call me...Owen. Cos, you know, that's my name. So...

Call me anything, as long as you call me.

Yeah. You've probably got loads of mates, ain't you? Proper life.

Don't have to go scraping the barrel, nice girl like you.

But that's all right, you don't have to say nothing if you don't want.

I just wanted to say, I like seeing you around.

You know? Gives us a reason to get up in the morning.

Knowing there's something better out there.

'And there she goes. Again.

'And I'm really trying not to take it personal.'

MAN GROANS

Hello? You are all right?

I know it was a cosy sofa, I'll give you that.

OK, get your bloomin' sofa. There's just one condition, OK?

Yes, but it has already been several hours since my first call.

And no, it was not an emergency. But it was a very serious theft. No.

-No, do not put me on hold ag...

-Police.

You know they probably won't come for ages.

-Yes, well I will wait as long as necessary.

-Howard hired them, right?

-The cleaners?

-Yes. Yes, I am still holding.

I welcomed a drug thief with open arms.

It is a mistake I will not make again. Yes, yes. I am still here.

I'm afraid I was mistaken. It has now become an emergency.

Course she wasn't interested. What have I got to offer?

Not even a dog on a string.

To be honest, I'd rather have the dog. Loyal, know what I mean?

I mean, obviously, you've got to forget any funny stuff,

but at the end of the day, it's all the same thing, innit?

Someone to give a...

Monkey's knick-knacks.

No. No.

Oh, you stupid thing!

Oh, you know what though, right? I ain't feeling too clever myself.

Oh, mate, I need insulin.

-Do you need a hand?

-No, we've got it.

That was very public-spirited of you.

I do admire people who live by the golden rule.

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Now, were you successful in your search earlier?

Well, perhaps... Perhaps I could help you look?

-No. It is fine.

-No.

No way, it is no trouble at all.

Please, one good deed deserves another.

HE GROANS

'Just find a way to survive. That's all.'

Nice one.

Another Team Donut emergency cracked.

'Except, where's Team Donut without Donut?'

-Please. Do not trouble yourself.

-No, it is no trouble.

-We could try another room.

-No, really.

-Retrace your every step.

-No.

I am sorry, I must go for my job.

No. No, you must stay for the police.

No!

Tell them it's mine, you plank!

Hey, hello! Hello, mate!

Oh, I know what you can smell. Come here.

How do you fancy a boys' night out, eh? We'll have pizza, hey?

And a few laughs?

Yeah, right.

What have I got to offer, eh?

# Never been 21 before... #

HE HUMS

'Today is the day.'

-They're all locked.

-There is nowhere for you to go.

-No. No, please.

I am here illegally.

I tried to claim asylum, but... I will be sent back to Nigeria.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

-Yes.

-You betrayed my trust.

-Yes.

-You lied to me.

-Yes, I am very sorry.

Sorry you got caught?

-My boss. He would not pay me.

-So you stole drugs?

-I did not know what else to do!

-So, how much did you get?

No!

Not to sell. They were for Yingi.

Your mother?

You stole Viagra for your mother?

Yes, she's very ill.

No, I do not want to hear another word of your lies.

The police can deal with you.

-KNOCK ON DOOR

-No, please, please, please.

I am not lying.

'Oh, yeah. Sometimes, life just turns on a sixpence, doesn't it?'

Now, this one really is top.

Here you are, mate.

He's going to love you forever for that.

Do you know what? I reckon you should keep him

and bring him with you when you move in with us.

# 21 today, you're 21 today... #

'And then again, sometimes there is no sixpence.'

Is it just the insulin?

Yeah. You're dying, lovie.

Oh, yeah.

'Don't even have sixpences anymore, do they?'

Lots of memories.

Last chance, you still want to chuck it?

Just the sofa.

-We can keep the memories, can't we?

-Yeah.

-We're dead lucky to have such good ones, aren't we?

-Yeah.

When some people don't.

-Yes, somebody'll get some use out of it, won't they?

-They will.

'Yeah. Time to let go.

'Down, down, till there's no more down.

'Huh. Some of us are looking at the stars.'

'I heard this thing once, yeah? Six degrees of separation, it was about.'

-I can't do it again!

-You can and you will.

Go get your pill, and then you get back on the horse.

Simple enough for you?

-All right?

-I was until I had some skanky loser in my way.

Stupid system won't let me do anything

until I dot all the Is and cross...

-BANGING ON DOOR

-Let me in!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd