Control Doctors


Control

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Thought you'd be at your mum's by now?

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'Keep still, will you!'

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Abby refused to go to school. Said she had stomach ache.

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Chancing her arm, more like.

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You promised you'd have a word with her. Did I?

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Sophie, I won't tell you again, get in the car!

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They're doing my head in. Are you even listening?

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Col?

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You've got me on speaker, haven't you?

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I'm at work, Lise.

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It's obviously more important than your family.

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Lise, I've got to finish all this before the doctor's.

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I'll see you there in half an hour, OK?

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Don't you get sidetracked again and forget.

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Hey, I thought I heard you in the shower this morning.

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How'd it go last night?

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What happened? Trust me, you do not want to know.

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Awwww! Tell Auntie Jas.

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All right, OK? It was all going great. Until...

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the ultimate passion killer put a kibosh on things.

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She was wearing Bridget Jones knickers?

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No, it wasn't Sigourney, it was these strange...half animal

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half court jester sounds, coming from the other room.

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What? Heston and Gloria getting it on.

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Ewwww! Oh!

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Any other job and they'd come down on you like a tonne of bricks

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if you kept people waiting like this.

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Not doctors. They think they're above the rest of us!

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Maybe they've had an emergency? We're an emergency!

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Are we? If this doesn't get sorted today...

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It will! Promise me? Yeah.

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I'm coming in with you. I just said, didn't I?

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Today, Col!

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I'll go through with it this time. Honestly!

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I'm still coming in.

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Mr Colin McLeod. The doctor will... OK.

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HESTON HUMS

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Someone's perky.

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I wouldn't say that.

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There's something different, a little glow perhaps?

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Was there something you wanted? I want to talk about the polyclinic.

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Oh, well, Howard's your man, but he's on special duty this afternoon.

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Last night, Gary Lucas openly invited Zara and I to jump ship.

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He can't do that! Why not?

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Poaching staff. It's unethical! Maybe.

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But he offered a very attractive package.

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You going to take him up on it?

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No, absolutely not, but others might.

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This is a really serious threat to our business. Howard was right.

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Yes. Another thing.

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I got the impression that Howard and Lucas have some kind of history.

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He never mentioned it.

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Did you actually say no to Lucas? No, I didn't.

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Keep talking to him, find out what we're up against.

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You really can tell me anything. There's no need to be embarrassed.

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It's my shoulder. It's been giving me gyp.

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Right. So, tell me more.

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It's nothing, really.

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I lug a lot of stuff around for work,

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bound to get the odd ache and pain.

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So, your shoulder's not the problem?

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What are you doing? Got this mole on my back. Can you have a look? Yes.

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Right. Does it itch or bleed?

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No. Has it recently changed size, shape or colour?

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No, but you hear about skin cancer all the time.

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There's no indication that it's malignant.

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If you're worried, get your wife to take a picture of it.

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See if it changes or gets any bigger over the next three months.

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Will do.

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Then I'll make you a referral to the hospital. Great.

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How did it go? All sorted.

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Well done, love! I knew you could do it.

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I'll make you something special for your tea. My favourite? Yeah.

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As long as the kids aren't playing up.

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My great big bear. Is that what she calls it?

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That's it!

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Calm down, they're leaving now.

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Honestly, I feel ill!

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You should be happy for him.

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Yeah? Just imagine hearing your parents going at it next door!

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There's a lot to be said for growing up in a single-parent household.

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So, last night was a PR exercise, really.

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I was the only one who was asking pertinent questions.

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Is that right?

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Gary Lucas is in it for the wrong reasons,

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certainly not the patients.

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Another one? You're kidding me!

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At this rate, I'm going to be here gone midnight!

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Closing smaller practices means patients having to travel further

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to their GPs. Putting vulnerable patients at risk!

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Do any of those e-mails need following up?

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Not really. Keep looking!

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YOU can thank me later.

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Maybe lunch at the Icon, bottle of wine...

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Thank you for what?

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I'm going to Mandy's for a girly night out, so tonight is your night.

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I've even swung an open invitation, so I can stay at her place

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whenever I need to. Thank you!

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Come on, what you waiting for? Give her a call.

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So, I'm thinking at least a Prosecco, something over a fiver.

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Yeah, right.

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Hi, it's me. I was just wondering if you're free?

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Tonight?

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OK, why don't you come over? Romantic meal for two?

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Am I cooking? Absolutely. I'm a dab hand at the old bouillabaisse.

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All right, then. I'll see you then. Bye!

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What?

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That pasta bake?

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That was a new recipe! I was experimenting!

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What about the Moroccan chicken salad the week before?

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Yeah, all right, my cooking could do with some improvement.

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So, what do you suggest?

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Give her a call, come clean.

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No, I can't do that. I'll think of something.

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Your funeral.

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I blame the mojitos!

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I was perfectly well-behaved before we started on them.

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I honestly haven't had that much fun in ages!

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So you said.

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And you, Dr Carter, are a dark horse.

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I'm a pretty good judge of people, but I had you down as a shy one.

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Appearances can be deceptive.

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Can't they just! I mean, last night, wow-eee!

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Are all medical people that...inventive?

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You'd have to ask them. Well, duty calls.

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Parting is such sweet sorrow Yes, yes, yes, yes.

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Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

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I'm sorry about the short notice. Is Joe OK?

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He has a slight temperature. I'm sure his child minder's overreacting,

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but I do have to go and collect him. Anything I should know about?

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Hangovers, morning after pills and hypochondriacs.

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The usual, then?

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Where were you when I called, by the way?

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There was a dreadful caterwauling in the background.

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I was getting some nice food in for tonight. Some toddler let rip.

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So you're cooking for this girl now? Must be serious.

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If you're going to give me a hard...

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Actually, I couldn't be happier for you.

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Really? All this playing the field.

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You were in danger of becoming shallow.

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KNOCK AT DOOR

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Yeah? Am I disturbing you?

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Have you read this stuff on the polyclinic?

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Ah! So Gary Lucas has got even you rattled?

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It's privatisation by the back door.

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What gets my goat is that the CCG have given it their full backing.

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What does Lucas know that we don't?

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He can be very persuasive.

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I've just had him on the phone inviting me to dinner.

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e wants to discuss "opportunities".

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What did you say? Not much. I was surprised he'd be so brazen.

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You didn't refuse? Well, no...

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OK, arrange to meet him. Let him think you're interested.

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I've said the same to Daniel. Daniel's been approached?!

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If Lucas thinks he can get some of our staff,

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it may delay him finding other people.

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Right. Better make that call, then.

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Blood pressure's normal. That's a relief.

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You had an appointment earlier on today?

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Is there something on your mind?

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It's the wife. She unwell?

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She found out. You're having relationship problems?

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That I bottled it before, with Dr Carmichael.

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I was supposed to get a referral. For what?

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Lisa wants us to have a vasectomy.

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Oh! OK! How do you feel about that?

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We can barely cope with the kids we have.

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What with the cost of nappies, the mess, sleepless nights...

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No more, Lisa says. Well, that's understandable.

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Have you thought about other forms of contraception?

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Condoms - unreliable. She doesn't want to be on the pill for years.

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Hates the coil because it gave her greasy hair.

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What about contraceptive implants?

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Don't get her started on that one.

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Relying on something the size of a matchstick? Madness!

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OK, a vasectomy could be the way to go.

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Have you looked into what it entails?

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She has. I couldn't face it.

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It's fairly straightforward, takes about 30 minutes

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and can be done under local anaesthetic.

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What about the stuff they don't tell you?

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There's a risk of infection with any operation.

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And you may feel some discomfort and swelling afterwards.

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Very occasionally, some men have pain in their testicles

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for several months, but...

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Are you OK?

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Just dandy(!)

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It doesn't seem you're that keen on the idea.

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Have you tried to explain to her?

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Like a million times.

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It's a very personal decision.

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You're telling me.

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I read a while back that men that are pressured into having

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a vasectomy are more likely to have problems.

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Problems?

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With their relationship. Now, if you were to tell her that...

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I'm going to call her now, tell her it's a bad idea for the both of us.

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Good luck!

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You know those two lads reported as acting suspiciously?

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False alarm.

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Well, could have been something.

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I was doing some thinking whilst I was out.

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You know the problem with people like Gary Lucas?

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Not really, but I'm sure you're going to tell me.

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They think they're modernisers, but they only care about the young.

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The type of people who rarely visit their GP.

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Right... Polyclinics don't work for the elderly,

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or the long-term sick. They need a continuity of care.

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Would your granny want a different GP every visit?

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There's been a load of cars that have been keyed

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and vandalised on Nielsen Street. Do you know it?

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It's just round the corner from the Icon. That's the one.

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If you can go and get some statements from any victims

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and talk to the bar staff, see if they saw anything. Will do.

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Off you go.

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You!

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You told my Colin not to have a vasectomy!

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Well, not exactly...

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Got kids, have you?

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Then you've no right sticking your nose in.

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As a GP, I was just offering advice...

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Don't patronise me.

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I wasn't.

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You're not the one run ragged.

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Or him.

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Out at work from seven in the morning, until who knows when.

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It's me who has to keep everything going, so there's no way on Earth

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I'm getting pregnant again. Do you hear me?

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Loud and clear. Unfortunately, we close in five minutes.

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Maybe you should some back later?

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You're not fobbing us off that easy.

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Five minutes is enough to make the referral, right?

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Yes and no. Colin?

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Another couple of days won't hurt, will it, love?

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Give me time to get my head around it.

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You're talking about a very sensitive area...

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You think giving birth to three kids was easy?!

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No, but what if something goes wrong?

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Tell him he's being stupid, that won't happen.

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It is extremely unlikely you'll have any complications.

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Better than 18 years of another child we can't afford.

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It's not just the physical side.

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I've been thinking about the future.

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What if something happened to you and the kids?

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How do you mean?

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If you all...you know.

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What are you saying?

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I might want to start a new family.

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You'd forget about us?!

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No, not exactly...

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Is that all we mean to you?!

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Love!

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Don't touch me!

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Nicely put(!)

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I'm off to Mandy's. I'm sure Kevin won't be long.

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I'll be fine.

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Well, make yourself at home. If there's any mess, it's his.

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Of course. Have a good night.

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I'm sure he's cooking something nice for you.

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PHONE RINGS

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LISA CRIES

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Lise...

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You know I hate it when you're upset.

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Go away!

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It came out all wrong.

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I only meant if you had a horrible accident or something.

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The thing is, they're going to start locking up the building soon.

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He's probably got someone else lined up already!

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I haven't, Lise.

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How can I trust anything that comes out of your mouth?

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Our whole relationship's a lie.

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Don't say that, honey, please!

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Can I have a word with the manager, please?

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Yes, just in here, sir.

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Not you as well?!

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Howard, wait...

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He's not getting away with this!

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I can explain...

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Special Constable Bellamy.

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Hello.

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I didn't think even you would stoop this low.

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Am I in trouble, officer?

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Don't play the innocent.

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I know you're trying to steal my staff.

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Isn't it up to Emma where she works?

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And if the offer's more attractive...

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What, from a creep like you? Howard, listen to me.

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Do you know what I don't like about you...?

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I have no intention of taking the job.

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So, why are you here?

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To spy for Heston.

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I credited you with more professionalism.

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You keep Emma out of this.

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I don't appreciate people wasting my time.

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Especially when it's out of some misguided sense of loyalty.

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At least she knows the meaning of the word.

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You know when you were at the PCT,

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people used to call you Captain Mainwaring.

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You're a laughing stock, a dinosaur.

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Don't listen to him.

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You've no place in the new NHS.

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I expect part of you knows this,

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which is why you're parading round as a toy copper.

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I take this work very seriously.

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I'm sure you do.

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But you can't buy respect with a uniform, Howard.

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It's the oldest cliche in the book.

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Argh!

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I'm really sorry about all this.

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Should I start dinner?

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No! It's all in hand.

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The ready meals, you mean?

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You found them?

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It's quite sweet you were trying to impress me, actually.

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And you bought a new shirt.

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You were in my bedroom?!

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There was nothing else to do, so I had a look around. Yeah?

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Why don't you have a look and see what's on telly, yeah?

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I'll be as quick as I can.

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Nothing's worked.

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I even offered to re-paint the spare room.

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She needs to feel wanted. Sweet talk her, you know.

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I'm terrible at that stuff.

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How did you two meet? That must have been romantic.

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Our first date at La Taverna, remember, Lise?

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You thought the chilli garnish was your starter.

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Never drank so much water in my life!

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Like a total idiot.

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Still, before you left, I told you you were beautiful.

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Yeah, you did.

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And Tenerife, what a holiday.

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That view of the beach from the hotel, I'll never forget it.

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We did spend three days stuck in there after that dodgy paella!

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Good times, though, eh?

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I suppose.

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(Keep going, keep going.)

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We can do it again, Lise.

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You mean the world to us!

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So prove it.

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Anything you say.

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You know what I want, Col.

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All right, I'll do it.

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I'll have the vasectomy.

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Thank you!

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Oh, Col, thank you!

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How could you be so stupid?

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Letting someone like that get to you?!

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If anyone saw, you could be reported.

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Have you thought about that?

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Have you thought about what it would do to your job in the police,

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never mind your position at the Mill?

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Are you listening to me?

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He hasn't won yet.

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No? No.

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You look terrible.

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Are you all right?

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I've got to get back to the station.

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Crack open a bottle, I'm on my way.

0:18:260:18:28

Do you want the onion rings an' all?

0:18:280:18:30

That would be smashing.

0:18:300:18:31

Ready?

0:18:340:18:35

Thanks, Doctor Tyler...for making him see sense.

0:18:350:18:38

Yeah.

0:18:380:18:39

No... You're kidding me! What?

0:18:420:18:45

I think we're locked in the building!

0:18:450:18:46

What are we going to do? How are we going to get out?

0:18:460:18:49

I'll call security, the number's upstairs.

0:18:490:18:51

Tonight's jinxed, totally jinxed!

0:18:560:18:59

Thank you. Thanks.

0:19:010:19:02

You should have let me pay, as an apology.

0:19:020:19:04

I have to go. Please, sit down.

0:19:040:19:07

At least let me check it's not broken.

0:19:070:19:09

Still in one piece.

0:19:220:19:24

Howard must be getting rusty.

0:19:240:19:27

I'll get us both a drink.

0:19:270:19:29

So you can talk me out of pressing charges?

0:19:290:19:31

Are you going to?

0:19:310:19:32

Damn right.

0:19:320:19:34

You must see that Howard isn't himself.

0:19:340:19:37

I'm just amazed, even after that embarrassing display,

0:19:370:19:40

your first thoughts are for him.

0:19:400:19:41

Howard lashed out because he's scared.

0:19:410:19:44

It's no excuse. I've no choice.

0:19:440:19:46

If you make this public, it won't help your cause.

0:19:460:19:49

A public brawl with your main competition will just look petty.

0:19:490:19:54

You know how quickly public opinion can change.

0:19:540:19:56

He tried to belittle me at a public meeting last night.

0:19:560:19:59

His behaviour was totally inappropriate.

0:19:590:20:02

Let me talk to him. I can rein him in.

0:20:020:20:04

Like you did just now?

0:20:040:20:06

All right, I admit he's still Howard,

0:20:060:20:08

still as stubborn as they come.

0:20:080:20:10

But he knows when he's gone too far.

0:20:100:20:12

IF I let this go, you guarantee me he'll be no more trouble?

0:20:180:20:23

I'll keep ol' Mainwaring at bay.

0:20:230:20:26

Funny, I seem to remember that you were the only one who never

0:20:280:20:31

called him that. Was I?

0:20:310:20:33

He's lucky to have you.

0:20:340:20:36

PHONE RINGS

0:20:550:20:58

Howard Bellamy.

0:21:010:21:03

Sergeant...

0:21:030:21:05

It took longer than I thought.

0:21:050:21:08

OK, I'm on my way.

0:21:090:21:10

We're pretty desperate, so, if you get this message,

0:21:200:21:22

will you contact Campus Security straightaway?

0:21:220:21:26

How many's that you've called?

0:21:260:21:28

Mrs Tembe, Howard, Heston, Jas...

0:21:280:21:31

I just don't understand why no-one's picking up.

0:21:310:21:34

Mum's doing her nut.

0:21:340:21:35

Kids still up, then?

0:21:350:21:37

Shall we get back to where we were?

0:21:370:21:39

Decision-making, wasn't it? Yeah.

0:21:390:21:42

So, who makes the majority, do you reckon?

0:21:440:21:47

Me, I suppose.

0:21:470:21:49

I like an easy life!

0:21:490:21:51

I don't see the problem here.

0:21:530:21:54

The vasectomy's something we both want.

0:21:540:21:56

Well, you can see why Colin might feel pressured?

0:21:560:21:59

You can be a bit pushy, Lise.

0:21:590:22:01

I'm from a big family,

0:22:040:22:05

you fight your own corner. PHONE RINGS

0:22:050:22:07

Barry!

0:22:070:22:08

How soon can you send someone over here?

0:22:080:22:11

Authorisation? To do what?

0:22:120:22:14

If I was going to steal something, I would have done it by now.

0:22:160:22:19

Who do you need to talk to?

0:22:200:22:23

I've already phoned him and he's not answering his phone.

0:22:230:22:26

Well, I guess we'll just have to sit here and wait, then, won't we?

0:22:260:22:31

This Barry doesn't like you much.

0:22:310:22:33

You could say that.

0:22:330:22:35

I'm starving.

0:22:360:22:37

Me too. Dying for a cuppa an' all.

0:22:370:22:39

Can we stop talking about food, please?

0:22:390:22:42

OK...

0:22:430:22:44

Colin, will you tell me why you're worried about having the operation?

0:22:440:22:48

Lisa, will you promise to hear him out?

0:22:480:22:51

It's hard to explain...

0:22:530:22:55

Feels like I wouldn't be a proper man.

0:22:560:22:59

You'd still be able to have kids, but I wouldn't.

0:23:000:23:04

Like something's missing.

0:23:040:23:06

Do you get me?

0:23:060:23:08

Kind of...

0:23:080:23:10

I guess Colin's worried because of the way he sees himself.

0:23:100:23:14

You've heard of low self-esteem?

0:23:140:23:17

Well, yeah, but what's that got to do with this?

0:23:170:23:21

I promise, soon as I can, I'll get you some more bodies.

0:23:260:23:29

What took you?

0:23:300:23:32

And what's this?

0:23:320:23:34

If I'd known you were going to the supermarket,

0:23:350:23:37

I'd have given you a bloody list.

0:23:370:23:39

I managed to get most of the statements,

0:23:390:23:41

but the Icon's manager was too busy to talk.

0:23:410:23:43

Doesn't matter, anyway, I need to send someone else down there.

0:23:430:23:46

Why's that? Cos I forgot to mention that the CCTV needs checking.

0:23:460:23:49

It might bring something up.

0:23:490:23:51

Anyway, I need you in custody.

0:23:510:23:53

There's been a big fight at the Anchor.

0:23:530:23:55

Got a party wagon coming in any minute.

0:23:550:23:56

I'll see you in there.

0:23:560:23:58

I keep pressing buttons, but nothing's happening.

0:24:030:24:06

I don't believe that for a minute.

0:24:060:24:07

Yeah? Well, until you get here, the DVD's all I've got!

0:24:070:24:11

You sure you've got the right remote?

0:24:110:24:13

I think so.

0:24:130:24:14

There's nothing on TV,

0:24:140:24:16

so I thought I'd check out what you've got stored.

0:24:160:24:18

You can tell a lot about a boy from his hard drive.

0:24:180:24:21

It's broken.

0:24:210:24:22

It's totally kaput.

0:24:220:24:24

Do you know how much longer you are going to be?

0:24:250:24:27

Honestly?

0:24:270:24:29

OK, bye.

0:24:290:24:31

I think we've made some good progress.

0:24:520:24:54

You both agree not to rush into anything for now?

0:24:540:24:57

Until we've got this sorted, we'd better not...do the business.

0:24:590:25:04

What?

0:25:040:25:05

Safest thing. Do you understand, love?

0:25:050:25:08

Is this how it's going to be?

0:25:080:25:10

You blackmailing me into every decision? Col?

0:25:100:25:12

I know you don't want another baby, and that's fine,

0:25:120:25:15

but I need more time. All right, keep your hair on!

0:25:150:25:17

I'm serious, Lise.

0:25:170:25:18

Maybe I'll have the operation, maybe I won't...

0:25:180:25:20

but it's got to be when I'm good and ready. Right...

0:25:200:25:24

OK.

0:25:240:25:25

DOOR OPENS DOWNSTAIRS

0:25:250:25:28

Oh, finally!

0:25:280:25:30

PHONE RINGS

0:25:300:25:32

That your lady friend?

0:25:350:25:38

Yeah... She's gone home.

0:25:380:25:41

Sorry to hear that, mate.

0:25:410:25:43

COUGHING AND VOMITING

0:25:470:25:50

You all right in there, Howard?

0:25:550:25:57

Yeah, I'm fine.

0:26:030:26:05

I don't think you are, mate.

0:26:050:26:07

Do you want to talk about this?

0:26:070:26:10

I mean, I'm no expert, but bingeing on chocolate,

0:26:100:26:12

then making yourself sick...

0:26:120:26:14

It's nothing, all right.

0:26:150:26:17

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

0:26:170:26:19

Lots of people get it.

0:26:210:26:22

Do they?

0:26:240:26:25

Yeah.

0:26:250:26:27

I think you should talk to someone,

0:26:270:26:30

get some professional help or something.

0:26:300:26:32

Full men's Brazilian.

0:26:530:26:54

Whoa! Whoa! Back up!

0:26:540:26:55

Isn't that when...everything's...?

0:26:550:26:57

No!

0:26:570:26:58

Please, I don't understand...

0:26:580:27:01

Is everything OK?

0:27:010:27:02

Leave me alone.

0:27:020:27:03

Ah! Get off! You have to listen to me! Get away from her!

0:27:030:27:06

Bit of booze isn't going to kill her, is it?

0:27:060:27:08

Not unless she's taken something else with it.

0:27:080:27:10

Ask him.

0:27:100:27:11

Because, whatever it is,

0:27:110:27:12

I think he needs some help.

0:27:120:27:14

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0:27:350:27:38

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