Dog Day Doctors

Oh, Christopher Columbus!

I bet you're having a chuckle.

Just making sure everything was shipshape, you know?

Admiring your handiwork?

It still blows me away.

That swishing sound, as it receives a signal from the heart.

When you see it pumping, the valves moving inside.

Mapping a heart...

by sound. Crazy really.

I thought I heard voices. What are you two up to?

Just reviewing the referral pathway for the echo machine.

-We done?

-I think so.

-Yeah.

You know, I really respect the way you stuck to your guns

and got that machine in the Practice.

You've changed your tune.

Well, I wasn't the greatest advocate

but Kevin's demonstration the other day convinced me otherwise.

I was right, then?

Let's say, maybe I was a bit hasty.

-Morning.

-Emma.

Heston, could we rendezvous later?

Nothing would please me more.

SHE LAUGHS

I can't find Ellie Deanes' notes. Isn't she due in today?

She's seeing Dr Reid.

No, no, no. That was just a stop gap while I was away.

She's been a patient of mine for years.

-I'm much better placed to treat her.

-I am sure that Dr Reid...

It's a simple request. I'm sure she won't mind.

I will see what I can do.

-Hi.

-Good morning. Mr Bellamy wants to see you.

-Really?

Copies of the revised patient practice policy

in everybody's pigeon hole.

Read, digest and comments by Friday please. Ah, Dr Khella.

I've mentioned that you were

nominated for the Patients Doc Awards on the website.

-Howard, I...

-It's subtle enough not to be misunderstood.

So come on, spill.

Was it really old ma and pa that voted for you?

Can we just forget it?

- Ooh! Jas?

-You been taking your medications regularly?

-Yeah.

And how're you feeling, generally?

The usual, you know, just keeping busy.

I know you've got a lot on your plate

but you've got to keep the stress levels down.

Cos that stroke last year was a warning sign.

I...I'm fine.

I know it's a full-time job looking after Nancy

so there's no shame in asking for help.

HE SIGHS

We're OK, don't you worry.

How is she?

She's in a lot of pain.

But still ruling the roost.

Will you tell her that that sponge cake recipe,

I tried that and it wasn't a patch on hers!

She must have the magic touch.

Are we done?

Well...your BP is slightly raised so just to be on the safe side,

I'm going to book you in with one of the GPs.

-If you would just like to take a seat.

-Thank you.

Ah, Dr Reid,

would it be possible to swap one of your patients?

Any particular reason?

Well, Ellie Deanes has been with Dr Carmichael

for many years now.

Well, she's seemed perfectly happy with me the last few months.

I don't see any reason to change, do you?

-OK?

-Mm. What can I do for you?

Can you book Alan in with one of the GPs?

It...it...it's not urgent.

Well, Dr Khella is free tomorrow at 10.30.

-Ah, she's very sweet, very kind with Nancy.

-Aww.

She was compassionate, she listened.

Not a lot of people do that these days, they don't take the time.

Hey, hang on, I'm writing it down for you. In case you forget.

There you go. See you tomorrow.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Have you got a minute?

I'm expecting a patient.

Can you approve this prescription?

I've got an asthma sufferer who's using her reliever

three, four times a day.

-I want to put them onto a preventer.

-OK.

You know you don't need to walk me through this,

-I would have signed it anyway?

-Just being thorough.

Erm...

You can tell me to mind my own business but...are you OK?

Yeah. Why do you ask?

You just...you don't seem yourself.

I'm fine. It's nothing.

Nah, wrong answer. That means it's something.

It's just a build-up...

small stuff, really.

My patient's due.

Oh...yeah. Catch you at lunchtime?

-Alan Cooper?

-Yeah.

-Great! On a bit of a tight schedule here.

So, this is Murphy. He's been well looked after, no bad habits.

-Likes the odd treat of course!

-Sorry?

I'm sure you two will get along fine.

I've left you the basics - bit of food, lead, that kind of thing.

Hold on, hold on. What is this?

My instructions were to deliver him here.

-Well, there's obviously been some mistake!

-Sorry, mate...

-I'm just the middleman.

-Oh, and what's that supposed to mean?

Look, I just do the drop-offs, yeah, follow orders.

Ey-ey-ey! You just stop there. Look...listen!

You take this dog away straight-away,

and I'll not be answerable for my actions!

Look, here's my boss's number, right?

You give him a ring, he'll sort it out.

What are you looking at?

We don't want to be recognised as local GPs, though,

when we review, do we?

We need to have a pseudonym.

How about some sort of homage to the great chefs?

Robuchon, Darroze.

It's a bit highfalutin, isn't it?

But the food theme is good.

We could have some real fun with this, we could have names like...

Marsha Mallow.

Anne Chovy!

EN Chilada.

Joel Phrasey!

Walter Melon!

Fish and chips!

-Sorry, am I interrupting?

-No.

Have you got something exciting for us?

The CQC submission. I need you to check that the procedures

are up-to-date and complying.

-Sounds a blast. Do I get one?

-No.

Right. Where were we?

Salmon Rushdie.

Oh, very good!

SHE LAUGHS

DOG BARKS

Oh, no pal. You're staying right there till I sort this.

RINGTONE: "Who Let The Dogs Out?"

-'Mr Hodges?'

-Yeah, that's me.

'Alan Cooper here.'

Ah, you're the bloke we delivered the lovely Murphy to this morning.

Let me get one thing clear, I never asked for a dog.

Bet you can't resist those big puppy-dog eyes!

Look, I want to know who sent him.

Poor thing, he was just abandoned.

Makes your heart bleed, people doing stuff like that.

You're not answering my question.

Right, yeah. I...I'll get someone to look into it.

-'Call you later on this number?'

-Oh, no, you stay right there.

Look, I want that dog taken away from here immediately.

What's the rush? Look, give yourselves time to get acquainted.

Are you going to sort this? Or do I have to call the police?

Mid-afternoon - earliest I can do.

And she said keep your stress levels down.

Chance would be a fine thing!

DOG BARKS

Shut up!

Ellie Deanes is still down to see Dr Reid.

Is she?

I assume it's a mistake.

You still haven't had time to update the system.

I have been very busy this morning.

Well, see that it's done.

-Dr Tyler, your patient is here.

-Thanks.

SHE SHRIEKS

-LAUGHING:

-Somebody's a bit jumpy.

Sorry.

I just wanted to tell you that I had Alan Cooper in before

and he was saying how lovely you were

when you were treating his wife. How kind and how you listened.

Nancy was great, a real fighter.

"Was"?

Didn't you know? She died yesterday.

I was in the Campus, I didn't know!

I'm surprised he was in. Is he all right?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was in for his regular BP check.

I...I can't believe that he didn't tell me.

I suppose it's no bad thing that he was in.

Grief can have quite an effect on blood pressure,

put an extra strain on the heart.

-Could you get me Alan Cooper's number, please?

-Yes, of course.

DOG BARKS

PHONE RINGS

ELECTRONIC VOICE: I'm sorry, the person you called is not available.

Please leave your message after the tone.

PHONE BEEPS

'Hi Alan, it's...it's Karen from the Mill.

'Just checking that you're OK. Can you give me a call?'

DOORBELL RINGS

DOG CONTINUES BARKING

PHONE RINGS

ELECTRONIC VOICE: I'm sorry, the person you called is not available.

Please leave your message after the tone.

PHONE BEEPS

'It's Eileen, a friend of Nancy's...'

PHONE DISCONNECTS

DOORBELL RINGS

CAR HORN HONKS

DOG SQUEALS

Come here!

Stupid dog. Come here. Come here.

Are you trying to get yourself killed?

Come here, come here to me. Eh?

Are you trying to get yourself killed? You stupid mutt.

Chance would be a fine thing!

Obviously it's much better for a patient

with a complex condition like cystic fibrosis

to see someone who's known her longer, with a better understanding.

Actually, I found the enzyme supplement you prescribed

not to be helping.

So we tried something new and Ellie has got on much better.

Ellie and I have an excellent rapport.

I'm sure if she were asked, she would prefer to be with me.

-And if that's the case, fine.

-Good.

I'm all for respecting patient choice.

Why don't we get Mrs Tembe to give Ellie a call

and then she can say which one of us she'd prefer.

Agreed.

I want a bit of peace now.

Think on.

-You're not serious!

-What's not to like?

Making a fool of myself in public.

Come on, it'll be fun!

Look, there's even instructions so no wimping out.

All right.

I feel totally ridiculous!

-You

-feel silly!

You've got a point there!

Whoo hoo! Come on. I'll race you!

All right. I bet I can do 50 reps faster than you.

-I bet you a quid you can't!

-OK, you're on. Go!

Pump it, girl!

Three...four...five...

DOORBELL RINGS

-I've been ringing the bell for ages.

-Have you?

And I tried to ring earlier. Is everything all right?

Apart from not getting a moment's peace.

Oh. Lots of well-wishers?

Judging by the cards, anyway.

Are you not going to open them?

Aw. He's a handsome fella. What's his name?

Murphy I think, something like that.

-Is he not yours?

-No.

He was delivered this morning, without rhyme nor reason.

Oh. That's weird. Who do you think sent him?

I don't know. Some mix up.

He's going back later and that'll be an end to it.

PHONE RINGS

ELECTRONIC VOICE: I'm sorry, the person you called is not available.

Please leave your message after the tone.

PHONE BEEPS

'Hello, Mr Cooper,

'it's Lawrence calling from AL Brown's Funeral Directors.

'We've safely collected your wife who is now at our funeral home.

'I'd be grateful if you could give me a call so that we can

'organise a time for us to meet and discuss the funeral arrangements.'

Come on, sit down.

I was ever so sorry to hear about Nancy's death.

Is there anybody who can offer you support,

-who can be with you right now?

-DOG BARKS

What's he want now? Yeah...Sorry,

my son, yeah, he'll be coming over in a couple of days.

DOG BARKS

He's a nuisance, that damn dog.

What'll the neighbour's think? He's been barking half the morning!

He just wants some attention, that's all.

Well, he's not the one driven mad!

Well, has he been tied up all the morning?

Yeah, ever since he run out the front and tried to get himself killed.

Well, he just wants a walk. Come on, let's take him to the park.

-Eh?

-Yeah, come on.

-The park?

-Hello!

Are you sure you've got enough on there?

Always ask for extra sprinkles. Anyway, I've earned it!

Suppose so.

Thanks for today.

Ah, it's no problem.

It's all a bit embarrassing really.

I've been getting flowers,

and then some cheesy, romantic poem was left on my car.

So someone's got a crush on you?

The worst thing is...

-I thought it was Kevin.

-You're kidding?!

I know, it's really embarrassing.

Every time I see him now, I cringe.

No wonder. It's not really his style, is it?

He's more of a,

"Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight,

"or shall I walk by again?"

Too corny even for him!

SHE LAUGHS

"People call me Kevin

"but you can call me tonight."

THEY LAUGH

Wait, wait, wait!

"Do you need a love doctor, baby? cos I'm your man!"

Stop! Please!

He's ever so well behaved.

See, that's the great thing about dogs -

they get you out in the fresh air.

So does taking the bins out.

Not the same.

I mean, going for a nice walk, it gives you space to think.

Works for some, maybe.

If you could talk about her, that would be good, I think.

Well, if you can.

I know she was in a lot of pain.

Well, it wasn't the arachnoiditis.

Her body just gave up.

-Heart...

-I'm so sorry.

She was the salt of the earth, Nancy.

Yeah, she made everybody smile.

At the hospital, she told all the doctors she was going to haunt them.

It's a dark sense of humour.

Yeah, life was for living, in Nancy's book.

No point complaining about it.

She told me about a fancy dress competition you entered,

as Mrs Beeton.

Took her hours to get ready.

But she looked the part,

sitting in her wheelchair with a pudding bowl and a wooden spoon.

Yeah, but she gave herself a funny name, what was it?

Meals on Wheels.

Have you spoke to Ellie Deanes?

I noticed you've cancelled our appointment today.

Well, yes. She...she's coming in tomorrow instead.

Right, I've got it. I found a website, it's called What's My Name?

Oh, I got a great porn name from a site like that once!

This one is anagrams. Right, you type in Heston Carter...

you get "Cheat Snorter.

"Rats Coherent."

My personal favourite, though, is "Chase Torrent."

It's a bit American but it does have a certain suave appeal.

That's exactly what I thought. OK, right, do yours.

Hang on.

"Admire Me." No.

Oi! No cheating.

I'm not, I'm just putting in my middle name.

That's better.

"Alegra Diemme."

"Alegra Diemme."

SOUTHERN ACCENT: Well Miss Alegra, I'd say that was a date.

SOUTHERN ACCENT: Why Mr Torrent, I thought you'd never ask!

Oh, I've got something in my shoe.

Can you just take him? It's just while I do this.

-Alan?

-I don't want the lead and I don't want the stupid dog!

All right. It's OK.

No, it's not OK.

Why can't people just leave me be?!

Phoning up all the time, bringing things I don't want, pestering me.

Cos we're concerned about you.

Concern? What use is that?

So talk to me, tell me.

Do you want to know?

About as low as a person can be.

You've just lost someone that you loved dearly.

You don't understand. It's my fault she's gone!

That is not true.

I prayed for her to die.

I wanted it to stop.

I just couldn't stand seeing her suffer like that!

You have nothing to feel guilty for. Do you hear me?

Well, maybe...maybe she'd have lasted longer.

May...maybe if she'd have thought there was something

worth hanging on for, she...

Oh, she knew that you loved her.

All the cards at home...

funeral directors ringing me up.

All wanting me to say goodbye.

But I can't.

I just want her back!

More than anything in the world, I want her back.

I know.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Come in.

You could have cast your net a little wider.

I wasn't aware that I had cast my net.

All this whispering in the corridors.

At least have the guts to tell me straight

if you and Heston are...

Even if I was seeing Heston, which I'm not,

I don't see how it's any business of yours.

Oh, so you're not seeing Heston?

You were the one who wanted to keep it professional.

You told me I was a free agent.

Which means I can do what I like.

Yes, yes, you can.

Look, this thing with Heston...

we've got ourselves a gig reviewing restaurants for the local paper.

Just a bit of fun, a distraction.

Leave you to it, then.

When's your son coming?

He's flying in from Sydney on Thursday.

-Can he stay long?

-Just a few days.

He's got his family, his life's in Australia now.

Here we are. You enjoyed that, didn't you, eh?

Is there anybody who can be with you until then,

-give you a bit of company?

-Not really, no.

What about all those people who sent the cards?

Well, Nancy was the one that wanted friends.

This might seem a bit strange but I was happy with her company,

I never really wanted other people.

CAR HORN HONKS

Who's this?

A man about a dog.

-You two seem to have hit it off.

-Here you are.

-You sure?

-Yeah, I'll just get his food.

Oh, I'm going to miss you! What's going to happen to him?

Pray I can find another home.

It's a pity cos he's one of my favourites.

How many have you got?

Too many. Bit of a sucker for waifs and strays.

I'd keep them all if the wife didn't put her foot down.

I thought you said it was your boss that kept the dogs?

That was just our cover story.

When I met your old girl in the hospital,

she said you'd need a bit of time to come round.

Gave us strict instructions to leave him here as long as I could.

Nancy planned all this?

She cracked me up, your Mrs, with her scheming. Lovely woman.

So sorry when I heard she passed.

She really thought you'd come round.

Shame. Got that wrong.

Are you still going to send him back?

Even now you know it was Nancy?

She was in too much pain this last couple of weeks.

She couldn't have organised something like this.

True! It must have taken a superhuman effort.

But doesn't that just prove how important it was to her?

But a dog's no replacement.

No, but Nancy was a smart woman

and she...she knew you better than you know yourself.

What are you talking about?

You need company, you'll be lonely, Alan.

And a dog - very good for lowering the blood pressure.

Yeah, but it's too late now.

And I've got enough on my plate with the funeral.

If you need any help...

Well, I suppose I could...

hang onto him till he finds somewhere to live, like.

ENGINE STARTS

Well, you better get your skates on!

MUSIC PLAYS

Stop! Hold up!

Oi! Stop! Hey!

Stop! Wait! Hey!

Stay! Oh Murphy, good lad.

-Cutting it a bit fine.

-Didn't you hear us?

Had the music on.

He's a good boy. Yes, he is, yes, he really is!

I've been looking at other restaurant reviewers,

trying to get a feel for it.

Do you think we should develop a house style?

Well, it's worth considering.

Actually more pressing is where to dine.

You been to any good restaurants lately?

Company's been a bit thin on the ground.

Maybe you could come along with me and Heston?

Are you a fan of haute cuisine?

-Not really.

-More of a fusion and forbidden rice connoisseur?

Half chips, half rice, more like.

Never really seen the point in paying over the odds for fancy food.

-You've no idea what you're missing!

-I'll live.

Well, if you change your mind.

I used to be sceptical about giving patients too much choice

but in this case, I approve.

Really?

About that appointment...

I always think it's a shame

when doctors feel they have to scramble over patients.

Dr Carmichael, Dr Reid! I really must insist!

I have spoken to Ellie Deanes about which GP she would prefer to see.

Well, that's obvious.

And she chose Dr Khella.

What's this?

One of our patients chose you as her favourite GP.

Go, girl.

Aww, that's really nice.

DOG BARKS

What you after, lad?

Are these your favourite?

Go on, lad.

The six o'clock news is just starting.

Come on!

-Night.

-Night.

"You looked beautiful today in that lace blouse."

SHE SIGHS

Heela lari che pa khpal naghari.

Today his dreams come true - today you're going to be British.

Police! Police! Stay down! Stay where you are!

He can't have vanished. Someone find him!

Now I owe my life to you.

Look, I am not going to do anything until you report this to the police.

Sometimes, Mum, the police don't need to know everything.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd