I Want to Break Free Doctors

MUSIC PLAYS, SMOKE ALARM SOUNDS

What's going on?! It's only just gone six.

I'm on a late shift, do you know that?

I'm sorry.

I just wanted to say sorry for not coming home on time.

You're a pest, do you know that?

Don't say that.

She's trying to be good.

-Look, she needs to be told.

-All right.

Next time, if you want to use the cooker, I'll help you, OK?

I just wanted to make breakfast, to say sorry.

I know, sweetie, but it's a bit early

for breakfast anyway, but thank you.

-It's the thought that counts.

-Is that it?

I'll take these up to Paul.

-No, you better not.

-No?

Oh.

He's always mad at me these days. I can't seem to do aught right.

He's just worried about the baby coming, that's all.

Hmm.

Don't do that!

Ah, it itches like mad.

Well, you've made it worse now. Look.

Come here.

I can do it myself, you know.

Good job we're seeing the doctor today

before you scratch your arm off.

I can go myself, you know.

I know you can,

but I want to see what she has to say, OK?

-I'm not a kid, all right?

-Hmm, course you're not.

Brought you a peace offering.

I don't want tea.

I want you to set her some boundaries, Chrissie. Some rules.

-She doesn't need rules.

-No?

Then what about these...hissy fits?

I'd hardly call them that.

She broke the hallway mirror. She should pay for it.

She didn't mean to.

Anyway, you wound her up.

Right, I should've guessed it'd be my fault by now.

It's not, but it's not hers either.

She can't help it.

She could do, she just needs some encouragement.

Stop babying her.

That's why New Hall could be good for her.

It'll teach her things like this.

Life stuff, that's what she needs.

She's waiting for a place, what more do you want?

You to make some calls, find out why it's taking so long.

Look, you always knew me and Sam came as a package,

just like this one.

You can't change your mind now.

-But this is what Sam wants, too.

-Oh, she doesn't know what she wants.

And for now, it's not an option, so...

..drink your tea.

-Earth to Mandy.

-Hmm?

You OK?

I can't stop thinking about it, Jimmi.

If only I'd seen her call.

I was in a self-help meeting, for heaven's sake.

I had no idea she'd called.

And what?

If it wasn't that day, it would've been another.

And people don't always take the help that's offered.

What help, eh?

Catriona didn't get any.

It's not exactly true, is it? Heston tried.

I realise you're upset,

-but you can't go dumping your anger on everyone else.

-I'm not.

You were harsh on Heston yesterday. He doesn't deserve it.

So, what, I just forget about it all?

No.

Look, if you must blame someone, then lay it at the right door...

like the people who attacked her in the first place.

Hmm, you've been having a right go at that, haven't you?

What do you think it is?

It looks like an allergic reaction. Have you got any pets?

Cos it looks like flea bites.

No, no pets.

She won't let me have them.

Cos I'd end up looking after them, that's why.

Well, I'll give you some hydrocortisone cream

and that should calm things down.

That'd be great. Thank you.

How are you getting on at the new place?

You've been there a while now, haven't you?

No, she's still at home with me.

But I thought you applied ages ago.

I had an interview at New Hall Lodge.

-My friend Hayley lives there.

-Right.

When can I live there?

As soon as a place comes up.

Um... Are you sure you haven't heard anything from them?

I could've sworn a vacancy came up a few weeks ago.

-No, nothing yet.

-Do you want me to give them a ring,

make sure you haven't slipped

-through the cracks?

-It's fine, honestly.

-And you're busy.

-It'll only take a minute.

-No.

Thank you. I...I promise I'll sort it.

-Say thank you to the doctor.

-Thank you.

Oh, can you call them for me?

PHONE BEEPS

Ah, it's from Hayley.

-Who's Charlie?

-Don't!

Who is he, then?

None of your beeswax.

-Morning.

-Morning.

Thank you.

What was that all about?

One of my special needs patients.

She's applied for sheltered accommodation.

I was just calling to see if there was any problems.

Oh. And I bet they gave you the whole,

"We'll get back to you," routine.

Well, her sister doesn't seem worried,

but they applied 18 months ago.

She should've been offered a place by now.

-I've found the right place...

-Oh?

-..for lunch.

Just you and me, and no-one will ever find us.

I wondered if you fancied...me.

Well, I will get back to you on that.

All right. Yeah, yeah, that was...

-Well, let's get together, see if we can diarise something.

-Yeah.

Yeah, good discussion.

Karen.

Just trying to organise a meeting.

You're not fooling anyone.

Another thought of a baby name today.

Ivan.

-Hmm.

-Too Russian?

I think Sam's got a boyfriend,

someone called Charlie.

-That's good then, isn't it?

-No.

What if he's some perv?

Well, she's on the pill then, isn't she?

I'm serious. She's too trusting.

What if he's, you know, grooming her?

Look, she'd tell you if there was anything she didn't like,

wouldn't she?

I don't know.

She's been going out a lot recently.

I can't help but feel there's something she's keeping from me.

Hi!

There's a gang at the day centre.

They going to help out at the allotments again.

-I was going to go.

-OK. Just remember, we've got a food delivery coming.

-You said you'd help me put it away.

-I will, I will.

Oh, that reminds me!

When I move to New Hall Lodge, I could get a pet.

-I didn't know.

-Yeah, yeah.

Chrissie's going to sort it out for me.

She's going to make the calls.

She promised the doctor.

-That's good.

-Bye!

-So are you going to sort it, then?

-Yeah, soon.

It's on my list.

Be back in an hour, yeah?

This is what she wants.

You're just thinking about yourself.

No, I'm thinking about you and our son.

We still haven't got the nursery finished

-because you're too busy running round after her.

-It'll get done!

You're due in a few weeks.

I do know!

Look, I promised Mum I'd be there for her - always.

We're not talking about dropping her off in the woods

to fend for herself, Chrissie, but we can't cope.

She needs to move out.

She relies on me, so I will cope because I have to,

so butt out.

You need to decide what comes first around here.

-Hi.

-Oh, Nurse Marquez,

Dr Granger was wondering

if you could add Mrs Reeves to your visits today.

-She needs her dressing changed.

-Westbrook Road?

-In Churchill Estate.

-Right.

VOICE MAIL

SHE GASPS

What's going on here?!

SAMANTHA LAUGHS

-Don't worry, Ryan, she's my sister.

-Hello, Ryan.

Hi.

And this is Charlie.

Say, "Hello, Chrissie!"

DOG GRUMBLES

Oi, I want a word with you!

You.

I suppose you're proud of yourself, are you?

Get out of my face, will you?

She killed herself, do you know that?!

After what you did.

Well, she was already messed up in the head, not my problem.

-SHOUTS:

-You attacked her and now she's dead.

Does that not mean ANYTHING to you?

One less loon in the world, so what? Cry me a river.

MANDY CRIES OUT

Ah!

THEY SHRIEK

Hey, oi! Leave it out, girls.

-I'm going to kill you!

-Oi, I said, "Leave it!"

-You want some as well, yeah?

-Just try it, love.

I don't need this, yeah?!

Stay out of my way, will you?

What was all that? Her man been putting it about?

No, a friend of mine - she died.

Sorry.

I can see to that, if you like. Don't worry, I am a nurse.

So am I.

And why can't I keep him?

He's like my baby.

You'll have yours soon, why can't I have mine?

Cos, sweetie, he can't come home and you can't keep him here.

But no-one uses this place.

-Stop it.

-Ah.

Do you not think I've enough on my plate without all this?

He has to go to the dog's home.

But I could...I could keep him if I was moving to New Hall Lodge.

-Well, you're not, so that's that.

-Ah.

He could stay here until I move there.

-I mean, Dr Donoghue said.

-Sam.

But you've only got to call them.

You said you would. You said you would.

It will be that long cos you're not going.

What?

I told them that you didn't want a place.

And this proves I'm right, you're not ready.

But...

But I've been feeding Charlie every day,

taking him for walks,

cooking for you.

-How am I not ready?

-You're just not.

It's not fair! It's not fair!

You always tell me what to do

and you always stop me doing from what I want to do.

-You always stop me!

-Sam, your hand.

SHE CRIES OUT

Doesn't surprise me. I've seen her around.

She's a scuzzy waste of space.

Yeah, she's a thug.

I had to make sure she knew what she'd done.

Job done, I'd say.

Listen, I'm sorry about...

No worries, I get a lot of practice at work and at home.

Anyway, shouldn't you be patching people up, not punching them?

Perhaps that's my problem.

-Ooh, that sounds serious.

-It is.

I'm going to tell Dr Donoghue about you!

-SHOUTS: It's not fair!

-Sam, wait for me.

-Sam!

-What?

I think it's the baby.

All right, all right.

Sit down, sit down, sit down.

It's OK. We're just going to take you to hospital, all right?

-Tell them to tell...

-No, I know what to say.

Hi, yeah, emergency services?

Yeah, can I have ambulance, please, as soon as possible?

Yeah, we're at the university campus.

It's my sister, she's in labour.

It's all right, darling. It's all right, love. It's OK. It's OK.

-You need to get a doctor from there, quick.

-OK, I'm not leaving you.

SHOUTS: Excuse me, can you just go and fetch a doctor for me?

My sister's in labour.

All right, she's going to fetch the doctor,

everything's going to be fine.

Sorry, Heston. I'm running a little late this afternoon.

No problem. All the time in the world.

Have you ever been to India?

Um, no, can't say I have.

Fascinating culture.

Yes. I won't be long.

Fine. Yeah, fine.

I don't know.

Ever since she died, it's like something in me has...

crossed over.

Does that sound mad?

Not to me, love. Nothing does.

It's like I've been living in a bubble.

I just want to get out there, you know, make a difference.

You mean like growing dreadlocks and smashing the system?

Maybe, it's better than sitting around, feeling useless.

But being a nurse does make a difference, doesn't it?

Does to my patients, anyway.

Although we do see it all at our surgery.

-Is that the one on the estate?

-Yeah.

Half of them are alcoholics, or crazed addicts,

or they're obese, smoking 40 a day. It never stops.

Must be tough.

Sometimes, but they're all good people, really.

The doctors look down their noses at them,

especially that Dr Shah. He's a right snobby get.

But I treat everyone the same.

They don't get the same though, do they?

Like, my friend -

look how she was treated.

You know, something has got to change.

But we also need people who go the extra mile, like us.

I make myself sound like a right saint, don't I?

I think you were one, today.

Yeah that's me all right.

You seem very upbeat, today. Is there any particular reason?

Yes, I've made big plans.

I'm off to India.

A slow boat to Sri Lanka and then...

..who knows where else?

Wow. Well, I think an extended holiday is a great idea.

Well, it's not really a holiday, it's a life change. It's...

a new chapter.

You mean a sabbatical?

I wouldn't call it that.

I'm leaving medicine.

I'm going to cash in my pension.

Are you sure now is the right time to be making these decisions?

Why not?

Anyway, it's a bit late for doubts.

What do you mean?

I've handed in my resignation.

OK.

Yep, your baby is definitely coming.

But he shouldn't be, should he?

I'm only 35 weeks, that's too early.

Don't think anyone's told him that.

Just keep calm, it's OK.

The ambulance is on its way.

Yes, so the most important thing is

don't push, whatever you do, not yet.

I'm trying not to.

Stay calm.

Stay calm. Breath with me.

In through your nose... BOTH INHALE DEEPLY

And out. BOTH EXHALE

I understand how you feel there's no going back,

but you've still haven't really answered the question.

Haven't I? I thought I did.

Not as to...why now?

You know, I took a walk through my neighbourhood today

and I'd never really noticed it before.

The trees and the architecture but...

..now I can, you see.

And that's why you've resigned?

-To take in your surroundings?

-Yes.

A weight has been lifted and...

..I can now...

..see these things.

What sort of weight?

You mean the strain of work?

Yeah, I've just had enough.

But you've always said how much you enjoy being a GP.

I did.

I'm just glad to be relieved of the pressure.

Other people's lives...

..in my hands.

Something's happened, hasn't it?

Heston?

A woman died...

..and it's my fault.

I had the baby without you, I'm sorry.

Don't be.

I'm sorry I wasn't here in time.

He's jaundiced.

They've taken him to check him over.

I know. I've seen him.

But he's going to be fine.

He is.

So, what happened, love?

They said you were on the campus.

I was looking for Sam at the allotments.

Charlie isn't her boyfriend,

he's a dog.

She's been looking after him.

Anyway, we got into an argument, she got upset.

Another hissy fit.

She hurt her hand, so I had to take her to the surgery.

That is just typical.

I had to find her, I couldn't put the shopping away.

So what? Just leave it.

But I was worried.

Exactly. That's the problem.

Sam's all stitched up. She's just getting a tetanus shot.

-I don't want to hear about her.

-Paul, don't.

It needs to be said. The baby come early because of her.

-She's a liability.

-Don't say that. It was my fault she got upset.

Stop defending her.

I'm not, but this time she had good reason.

What was it, then?

See? There isn't one.

I told her she wasn't going to New Hall, all right?

I turned down the place.

What?

When?

Last week.

I couldn't...

She's not ready.

Sorry, sorry, but...

Sam was AMAZING today.

She called the ambulance, she called you.

This is not a girl who can't look after herself.

So what's really going on here?

What's this about, love?

SHE WEEPS

They never say...

..but they think it.

I'm washed up.

A liability.

-Really?

-Mandy said as much.

She sees that I'm a sham.

She blames me, so...

..it doesn't really matter what the critical case review concludes.

It doesn't?

No.

I know the truth.

I dismissed that woman. I...

..failed her.

OK, well,

let's suppose for a moment that you're right,

that you did fail her.

There must've been a reason.

Why do you think you dismissed her?

Didn't you believe her?

I don't know. She...

..annoyed me, I guess.

How?

Irritated me, I suppose.

In what way?

HE SIGHS

She wouldn't pull herself together.

Get a grip.

So, you felt she was being weak?

Weak-minded.

Is that how you feel about your illness?

That you should just get a grip?

Yes.

It was always just me and Sam,

through thick and thin, together.

If she goes,

what if it's not the same?

What if we drift apart?

But you won't do.

She needs you, wherever she is,

-you know that.

-But what if...

Out with it, Chrissie. Come on.

I know where I am with Sam,

what she needs,

but a baby boy?

I'm not sure.

What if I'm a rubbish mum?

Don't be silly.

You're going to be a great mum.

But what if I'm not?

What if he doesn't love me like she does?

What if we don't bond?

Come on now, Chrissie.

That sounds like fear and hormones talking.

Of course he's going to love you,

like Sam does,

like I do.

Look, I understand that you're scared.

I am, too, but...

..he's going to need you more than anyone.

And we'll work it out. Together.

See? You're going to be great parents already.

But all babies grow up, even Sam.

Hiya!

The nurse says I'm all done now. I can go home!

I think these new parents might like a bit of time alone.

Yeah. They certainly don't want me around, do they?

Hey, that's not true.

Look, I know I've been hard on you recently and I'm sorry.

I just worry about your sister, like she worries about you.

Well, you've got a baby boy now.

Yeah.

-And every nephew needs his auntie.

-Yeah?

And you're going to be the best,

-so you'd better make sure you're around, don't you?

-Yeah!

Right, well, I'll get you home.

What about Charlie?

I can't just leave him.

Well, maybe he can come home with us for a bit...

-Ah!

-..until I get you both a place at New Hall.

Really?! Do you mean it?

Yeah.

I was just being a bit silly about it before.

Well, we've both been a bit silly.

But I was wrong.

You are ready, and I'm sorry.

It's OK, but I did try to tell you.

THEY GIGGLE

I said to the locum, "Don't sip that, love.

"That isn't whisky, that's his urine sample."

Puts it in the only bottle he has.

They're going to start thinking I've been kidnapped.

We should do this again - not the punch up.

Yeah, I'd like that.

You know, if it's all getting too much,

there's a vacancy going at The Mill.

You should apply.

Me? With all those yummy mummies,

all that...tennis elbow from too much knitting.

I reckon you'd fit in better than you think.

Well, I'll keep it in mind.

From the sound of it, it's you who needs out.

I think you're right.

All I know is,

jobs are like men -

if it ain't doing it for you anymore, move on.

I've always had trouble dealing with mental illness.

Not just with patients...

..colleagues, too.

-People you respect?

-Yeah.

Ruth and Simon.

It was awful.

I never knew what to say.

Why?

Well, I thought, if it could happen to them,

it could happen...

To anyone.

The Hindu's believe in karma, so...

..there's a sort of poetic justice

that I find myself in the same boat.

I had a normal...

..healthy family upbringing,

everything I could wish for and...

Are you sure about that?

I think so.

My father could be fairly strict.

-Were you ever afraid of him?

-Of course.

But that's what fathers were like then.

And what do you think he'd say

about what you've been going through recently?

"Pull yourself together. Get a grip."

Do you think it's that simple?

Can I just have some water?

Of course.

Sorry.

Heston, I have a rule in here...

..no stiff upper lips allowed.

You can't just bury these problems and soldier on...

..because they'll still be with you, even in India.

What if it never gets better?

With help, you can.

But it's getting worse.

This dissociation...

..is getting worse.

I'm dissociated from my patients.

I'm a danger to them.

I'm useless.

I'm utterly useless.

I know his sort, looking down his nose just cos I live round here.

Did you see the hair he's got up his nose and in his ears?

Hey! Shut your cake hole and listen.

I know you're upset with the way Dr Carter dealt with Catriona...

So if there's any blame to be dished out, then I'm just as guilty.

An old man has been mugged just around the corner,

and if your son has been hanging around, then maybe he saw who did it.

Well he ain't, so you can push off.