Just the Ticket Doctors

WASHING MACHINE STARTS

Right.

That lot should be ready in about an hour or so.

Thank you.

I've stacked the dishes. I've put the bins out.

Is there anything else you'd like me to do?

Come and sit down, Noel. Have a biscuit.

You've done enough.

I'll just give the kitchen a bit of a clean.

I meant to ask...

Have you seen that photo of you and Uncle?

You know, the one in the silver frame?

Erm...I'm not quite sure. It's in the lounge, isn't it?

No.

I imagine it's around somewhere.

Does it matter?

No, it's just good, isn't it, to have family photos?

It helps keep your memories alive.

I don't need those sort of reminders.

Especially when I have all the family I need. Don't worry.

I'm not decrepit yet.

And you never will be. Not while I'm around.

There's toothpaste, washing-up liquid, loo rolls. Anything else?

No, I don't think so...oh, yes.

Can you pop in to the doctors and get my prescription?

You haven't run out of your pills already, have you?

Hello! Only me. How's my favourite lady in the whole wide world?

All the better for seeing you.

How did you get in here?

Someone left the door off the latch. Very sloppy.

I'd better be going.

I'll see you later.

I nearly forgot. Can you get me a lottery ticket?

-I don't know why you bother. It's such a waste of money.

-My money to waste. Indulge me.

That's right. You never know, you might just get lucky one day.

You know what? I don't think there's any reason for you to hang around any more.

I take care of most of the chores here.

Nonsense. Besides, Tom can keep me company while you're out.

And then do the gardening later?

Sounds like a plan.

I feel like royalty, the way you two look after me.

And you'll e-mail the confirmation? Brilliant.

Bye.

What's that?

That is a tin.

Very funny. What's in it?

Wouldn't you like to know?

Not particularly.

-Fair enough.

-Go on. Tell us.

Morning, all. Ready for another glorious day in the trenches(?)

Aye, aye, mon capitan, ready and raring to go.

That's what I like to see. A little bit of deference early in the morning.

What's in the tin?

Oh, something rather special.

Oh, is it now?

Have patience. Now's not the time.

What's in the tin?

I don't know. But if she's thinks we're interested, we're not.

That's my sister. And there is Noel as a baby.

Just a pity he had to grow up, eh?

Now, now. I wish you two would get along.

Are you hungry?

Not especially. Why?

I'm feeling a bit peckish.

I can't remember if I had breakfast or not.

Do you want me to make you some toast?

Maybe later. Oh, I know! How about an early lunch?

A real treat. Fish and chips?

Yeah, why not?

Right, then...

..here we go.

That is Noel, eight years old. Such a lovely boy.

Even then he felt like a son to me.

I'm here to pick up a repeat prescription - Pauline Dempster.

Pauline Dempster?

Oh, hello, Dr Clay.

Back so soon? Can I see you for a minute?

Of course.

I issued your aunt with a repeat prescription about a month ago.

Yes.

It was for two months' supply,

so how could she be out of pills already?

I don't know.

Maybe she's got confused as to how many she's supposed to take?

Maybe.

It makes sense. I mean, she has got dementia.

I think she's really going downhill. It's quite frightening.

Mr Rooney, I saw your aunt a few weeks ago and she seemed fine to me.

OK, she admitted to forgetting a few minor things

but I think she's doing remarkably well.

I'm sorry, Doctor, but at best you see her now

and again. I see her every day.

And I'm telling you her memories are failing.

Perhaps I should have another consultation with her.

That'd be great. Actually...

I was thinking you could prescribe her something stronger.

Maybe there's a more potent drug that could help arrest her condition?

I would have to assess her first.

I've been reading about memory loss on the internet.

There's this drug, um...

Donep...something or other.

Donepezil.

It's supposed to be very good at rebuilding memories.

I was just wondering in your experience, how quickly does

it tend to work?

Hmm...I'm sorry.

Donepezil is actually used for treating patients with Alzheimer's.

I'm afraid it wouldn't be at all appropriate in your aunt's case.

I wouldn't rely on things that you read on the internet.

I see. Right.

OK.

Is there something else?

You could say that.

BUZZER SOUNDS

Sorry about the state of the place.

You just can't get the staff these days.

I hope I am not intruding.

I think I can just about squeeze you into my busy schedule.

I can come back later. I have the whole day off.

I was joking.

Something you wanted to get off your chest?

I am just wondering if you have heard the news?

What news?

The police have caught the man they think is responsible for...

-..attacking that poor woman.

-I know.

But this is good news!

Yeah, let's just hope they got the right bloke this time.

I wanted to thank you.

What for?

For standing up for me at the police station.

I'm sorry if I seemed ungrateful at the time.

I only did what anyone else would have done.

I don't think so.

No-one's ever really believed in me...like that.

Burglary. Not the world's greatest charmer.

What's this got to do with your aunt?

He does odd jobs for her as part of his...community service.

Cleaning, mowing her lawn, that sort of stuff.

That's good, though, isn't it?

Normally I'd agree with you.

I can't be looking after my aunt 24-7. I've got a cafe to run.

So what's the problem?

I think he may be taking advantage of her mental state.

I think he's stealing from the house.

Have you got any proof?

No. He's far too clever for that.

Have you thought about taking your suspicions to the police?

Why would they do anything?

Like I say, he is very good at covering his tracks.

I've got house visits later, so I could pop in.

There's no need.

I'm probably being a bit silly, I'm a bit stressed out at the moment.

I am concerned about this repeat prescription thing, though.

Tell you what.

I'll have a word with her and we'll make an appointment.

I'd better get back. Thank you very much, Dr Clay.

Thank you.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Come in.

The mystery is about to be revealed.

Mm?

Well, open it.

It's not an unexploded bomb.

Ta-da!

Animal, vegetable or mineral?

It's parkin!

I might have left it in the oven too long.

Don't you want to sample one?

Not just now. I'm actually expecting a patient.

Oh, right.

Sorry.

Leaving so soon?

No, actually, I'm on my way to the chippy. I reckon it should be open by now.

What're you doing with that?

With what?

Hey! Do you mind?!

That's not yours, that's my uncle's! Where did you get it?!

None of your business, pal. Now if you don't mind...

-You've got some explaining to do!

-Get off me!

-Just get off me!

-What's going on?!

You tell me. See?

-Yes?

-Don't tell me you don't recognise it.

It's your dead husband's watch.

I can see that for myself.

It suits you very well.

What?

Noel thought I'd nicked it.

Noel?

What was I supposed to think...given his past?

That is quite enough. I want you to apologise.

No, there's no need.

There is every need.

Well?

Sorry.

That's better.

Now can the two of you use this as an opportunity to start afresh?

Good boys.

-Right, I'll go and get lunch, then, yeah?

-Thank you.

Donoghue?

Where did you get the idea to make me parkin?

-From you.

-From me?

Yeah, you said there wasn't any cafes around that sold them,

and how you're annoyed it's all American-style muffins.

I don't remember saying that.

You did. Last week in the Icon.

I'll take your word for it.

I thought you'd be pleased. It's your aunt's recipe.

What? Where did you get my aunt's recipe?

It's not a state secret.

Where did you get it?

Your social network account. It wasn't hard to find.

You wrote that she used Delia's recipe.

You read my page?!

I know you still really miss your Auntie Sheila.

I thought...it might mean something.

Kind of...honouring her memory.

Why? What have I done?

Al!

-You've got a patient!

-Yes.

-So have you.

-Oh!

Haven't you ironed that blouse already?

Have I?

You're right. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I've been feeling a bit vague all day.

Maybe you should put your feet up?

No, I need to keep busy.

I'm quite self-sufficient, you know.

Sorry, I wasn't trying to patronise you.

What about the cafe? Who's running that while you're here?

That's all sorted. Don't you worry about that.

Well, as long as you're not sacrificing any...

Oh...

Are you all right?

I'm not quite sure what's happening.

Oh!

I need to sit down...

Oh, I'm sorry.

That's OK. Just sit down.

SHE SIGHS

DOORBELL RINGS

Hold on a minute, OK?

-Quick, Dr Clay, there's something wrong with her.

-Oh!

SHE VOMITS

Another coffee?

No, thank you. That was very nice.

Mr Robson, there is something I would like to discuss.

Go on.

I hope you do not mind

but I have spoken to the vicar about your situation.

Oh, yeah?

We wondered whether you'd be interested in doing some

volunteer work at the church cafe.

What kind of work?

Cooking, mainly, and if it was busy, maybe a little bit of serving.

It would give you some real work experience and the vicar

assured me she would then be in a position to give you a reference.

Really?

I think it would really help you to find paid employment.

And she's OK with my criminal record?

Yes. It did not seem to be a problem.

Did you tell her about me being questioned by the police recently?

No. I did not think it was necessary.

I don't know about you but it's getting very stuffy in here.

Perhaps we should just go outside and enjoy the day?

Yes.

Did I forget you were visiting today?

No, I was just in the area.

So what's wrong with her?

I don't know. Maybe better if you go to the hospital, get checked out.

No, that won't be necessary. I don't feel too bad now.

All the same...

Right, who's hungry? I've got loads.

What's going on?

-This is Dr Clay. Pauline's been sick.

-What?!

-Have you taken anything other than your usual medication?

-I don't think so.

Erm...no.

I took my usual dosage, two pills just after I got up.

Oh.

Tom?

Is there something you want to say?

I think it might be my fault.

What have you done?

Look, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

-For what?

-I slipped a couple of your pills into your tea.

-Why would you do that?

-Sometimes she forgets to take them.

When you said you didn't know if you'd had breakfast, I thought...

Why wouldn't you just ask her?

It's not his fault. I do forget sometimes.

Don't make excuses for him. Look what you've done to her!

-I didn't mean it.

-Just go!

Is there ever a moment in the day when you're not actually eating?

Er...pot...kettle! Just trying to keep my strength up.

Yeah, cos you look like you're just about to keel over(!)

So...Niamh's mysterious gift was for you. It's very nice.

Is it?

Yeah...very thoughtful. Cos it's a bit like your character.

What do you mean?

It's all crusty on the outside and soft and gooey in the middle.

No more cake for you.

What are you still doing here?

I just wanted to say it was a genuine mistake.

I didn't mean to harm Pauline. I feel terrible.

I'm not the one you should be saying this to.

Thanks to Noel, I won't get anywhere near her now.

Hang on.

You recognise those?

Want to explain yourself? A bit of a coincidence, isn't it?

I bought them online.

-And?

-I've been giving them to her for a couple of days now.

Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? I told you

they were completely inappropriate for your aunt.

I wasn't going to give her any more after what you said.

Why, Noel? Why?

-It was for your own good. I was trying to cure you.

-Cure me?!

I haven't exactly gone ga-ga.

Not yet, no, but that's exactly what I was trying to prevent.

You keep losing your memories. You keep mislaying things,

Like that photo of you and Uncle.

What's so important about that picture?

-Where is it?

-Where's what?

The photo, the silver photo?

You mean this?

What are you doing?!

What have you done with it?

What have I done with what?

-The lottery ticket!

-Look, mate, I haven't got a clue what you're talking about.

You liar! You're lying!

All right, calm down.

We both know she keeps her weekly lottery ticket in here. He's stolen it!

Why would he do that?

-Because you've won the jackpot!

-What?

You will have to do some training, of course.

That's not a problem. I did a food hygiene course in prison.

This was a good idea of yours.

What was?

Coming here. I spend too much time indoors.

Sometimes feels like I might as well still be in prison.

You should not be thinking that way.

If I had some security, a job.

Feel like part of the world again.

Are you ready to take the first steps?

Bring it on.

I was hoping you would say that.

Because they want to see you for an interview tomorrow.

Since Pauline was diagnosed, I've been doing her weekly shopping.

That includes her lottery tickets.

But if you haven't got the ticket, how do you know I've won?

Cos I saw it in the newspaper.

You pick the same numbers every week.

The year, my date of birth.

In other words, you weren't really concerned with your aunt's condition.

-That's not fair.

-You just wanted Pauline to remember what she'd done with the ticket.

I think we can all agree it's a teeny-weeny bit important.

I don't understand. Why did you bother with those?

Why didn't you just come straight out and ask me where the ticket was?

-It's obvious, isn't it? He didn't want you to know you'd won.

-Why?

Because he wanted to keep the money for himself.

-It's not like that, you don't know me.

-I'm beginning to.

I've not been entirely honest with you.

The cafe is going down the pan.

That's why I needed the money.

-Yeah, right(!)

-I was going to share the winnings with you, I promise you.

Except it isn't yours to share.

It won't be anybody's if we don't find it!

Why isn't it here?!

I must have forgotten to put it in there.

Then where is it?! Think, woman, think!

That's enough!

(God!)

I need you to read these.

Recipes?

You knew I'd say yes, didn't you?

I was hoping that you would.

You never give up, do you?

I have it on good authority that

if you follow this to the letter, you will produce the best scones

and carrot cake in the whole of Letherbridge.

I'll take your word for it.

Take the word of our customers.

These are our best sellers at the cafe.

Setting me quite a high benchmark.

I am sure that you will master them.

I'll do my best.

Now...for the most important question of all.

What's that?

Can you make a decent cup of tea?

Oh! My mum might have been useless

but at least she managed to teach me that.

I am sure she was not useless.

We should think about heading back.

Right, yes.

What's the fascination with the notebook?

You've been staring at it for the past five minutes.

Al?

-Sorry.

-You've got a face like a wet weekend. What's the problem?

It's nothing.

Actually, I do have a problem.

Is it something I should know about?

It's not so much a problem as such. It's more of a...

Come on, spit it out.

No, it's nothing for you to worry about.

You just don't know when to stop, do you?

You don't understand, I'm desperate!

I remember! I remember what I did with the ticket.

-Well, come on.

-When you gave it to me, I put it in my cardigan.

-And...?

-And that's it. The ticket is still in the pocket!

Which cardigan?

The blue one, that one.

Oh, dear...

SHE LAUGHS

Oh, well...easy come, easy go!

You stupid, stupid woman. It's not funny!

You're right. It's not funny. And I'm going to report you.

No...you can't. I didn't mean to do anything.

Tell him, Auntie.

Oh, I'm back to being your aunt again, am I?

Please leave!

Now!

KNOCK ON DOOR

Yeah, come in.

You wanted to see me?

Can you close the door?

Sounds ominous.

What you did...

This business...

It's not what friends do.

It's not socially acceptable.

Why? What?!

I'm talking from bitter experience here

and I don't want you making the same mistakes that I made.

I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about.

This. It could be construed as stalking.

I just baked you a cake!

I'm not talking about the stupid cake!

Then what are you talking about?

You went onto my social networking account without my permission.

We're friends on it. That's what friends do.

-That's what it's for.

-You can't just invade someone's privacy like that.

You must have gone through the whole history of my account

to find that recipe.

I'm sorry.

Niamh, I want you to promise me that you will not do that again.

I won't. I promise. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to offend you.

-There you go.

-Thank you.

He was a good man, my husband.

I'm glad he didn't live to see how his nephew turned out.

You know, there still might be a way to get that money.

-You don't necessarily have to have the ticket.

-Really?

Just a pity Noel didn't know that.

So do you think you'll forgive him?

I don't know. I don't know.

This is one of my favourite places in Letherbridge.

Yeah, it's very peaceful.

I get the impression you do not like to talk about her.

Who?

Your mother.

Can we talk about something else? Please!

Why do you not want to talk about her?

Because it's none of your business.

I just think it would be good for you to share your feelings.

Why?

I have observed at the surgery, patients who are willing to

talk openly and honestly about their lives

and relationships where they benefit greatly in terms of their wellbeing.

Rehearse that, did you?

I just think it would be good for you to release...

I don't need to release anything.

Coming to terms with your past...

Have you any idea what goes through my head? Every day?

I have my own way of coping with those women's faces,

and the dark fear that comes over me.

I am sorry...

You don't understand.

And I hope to God you never will.

But you can't stop going on at me like some cod psychologist.

A receptionist's badge and church on Sunday does not make you an expert.

I know that...of course I do.

I just think that...

You just don't know when to stop, do you?

Just leave it! Will you just...leave it?!

It comes complete with an eight-gig SD card, curvi-linear probe.

And your choice of stand.

A woman like Niamh Donoghue will never have "the hots"

for someone like me.

Andy...!

Stop him!

I don't have the grounds.

-To Rob.

-To Rob.