Turn in the Road Doctors

Morning.

Toast and marmalade, or bagel and butter?

Toast and marmalade - I need the sugar.

-Are you bad this morning, Nan?

-Oh, I'll live.

You're a good girl, you. I'm ever so grateful.

You never let me down. Unlike some.

Actually, I was thinking maybe we could visit Mum sometime soon.

We've too much on.

I miss her.

Let's just focus on what you need to do today.

Now, have you checked you've got everything?

Rob Hollins.

Oh, Rob.

Mmm.

Is that bacon I can smell?

Recharge your batteries.

For what?

Look, love. I'm sorry but I'm totally knackered.

But it is lovely to have you back.

Oh! Is that the real time? Damn - I'm going to be late for work.

How did that happen?

-D'you not want your sandwich?

-You have it.

No, no, no - on second thoughts...

I'll do the shopping later - you pick up Joe?

Much as I hate to admit it, it's my turn for supermarket sweep.

OK, but can you get something a little bit different this time?

Maybe some Thai curry or how about sushi?

Sushi? Are you feeling all right?

Yeah. There's a whole section for it if you look.

You don't LOOK for things in the supermarket sweep, Daniel.

It's all about speed. Don't you know anything?

All set?

The theory test was one thing, Nan.

I'm not ready for this.

You'll do me proud, I know you will.

Look at me, Hollie.

Love!

It will be fine, OK?

Now, get out.

Er, don't forget this!

I'll be right here. Good luck.

Morning, Sarge. Anything exciting?

Well, Karen moved back in last night.

That was pretty exciting.

OK, good. It go well?

I'm shattered. You know.

I didn't realise I was so unfit.

So am I on patrol, or...?

Actually, this is more urgent, so I'll come and do it.

Oh, great.

-Neighbourhood Watch contact list?

-Very important, that, you know. Desperately needs updating.

So it looks like you're going to have a quiet one for once. Enjoy.

Oh, is that for me?

I thought if I can spice things up cooking-wise, then...

You might get a repeat performance?

Don't do oysters - it's too obvious. How about duck with figs?

Figs - yes.

Ah, the week's menu Chez Hollins. Eggs and chips times seven?

Actually she's cooking duck.

Does Rob even like duck?

-I'm not sure.

-Stick with ready-meals, Karen.

No, I've been looking forward to spoiling him.

Posh ready-meals, then.

Rob's had a tough few months.

So have you. Has he been spoiling you?

Thought not.

-Am I trying too hard?

-No! Don't listen to her - she's just jealous.

Sophia Martez.

That's me.

Read and sign, please.

Please lead the way to your vehicle, Ms Martez.

It's all about keeping things fresh in a relationship.

-What does it suggest?

-Erm...

"Surprise your partner by baking their favourite cake,

"or ironing their shirts in a different way,

"using a fabric conditioner with an unexpected aroma."

-Do you want some good advice, Karen?

-Um...

-Don't play the little woman.

-I'm not.

And by the way, if you don't split the chores 50-50 right from day one, you'll be doing everything forever.

I don't think Rob's like that.

He's a man.

It's Karen's relationship. She can do what she likes.

This isn't good advice, Niamh, and you know it.

You and Daniel have been together ages, haven't you?

-How do you keep things exciting?

-What's your secret?

That's my business, thank you very much.

Well, if you won't reveal anything, we'll be needing this.

I'd like you to take a left turn up the junction

and then perform a turn in the road for me, please.

BRAKES AND CRASH

Argh!

Oh, ah! Oh!

Ah!

Police. There's been an accident.

Shopping list for later. Have I forgotten anything?

Apart from sushi. Since we like that now, apparently.

Er, yeah. Olive oil. And apples.

There we go. We could always go out. Try that new Balti house.

-Tonight?

-I'll get a sitter.

I was just really looking forward to curling up in front of the TV

with a large glass of red.

-It's Friday night.

-I know - what a long week.

-OK, you win.

-Hooray!

I'll pick up a Thai takeaway on my way home.

That's not what I meant. You've taken my pen.

OK, we'll leave it there, sir. Thanks.

Bit of an over-reaction, if you ask me.

But he has admitted that he went into the back of you,

Miss Martez, but there's no damage.

-So no harm done.

-That's good.

Why a cyclist would want to wear earphones, I will never know.

Don't look so worried - you haven't failed your test yet.

Or has she?

So can I go?

Yup.

Oh - I just need to see some ID first, please.

Your provisional will be fine.

But it wasn't my fault.

No, I know. It's just a formality.

You have to have your provisional because you need it for your test.

Is it not in your handbag?

Can I have a word, officer?

I've reason to believe this young woman is not who she says she is.

She's not Sophia Martez.

Karen, could you top me up, please?

Yeah, no probs.

Congratulations by the way, on moving back in.

-I'm really pleased for you.

-Me too.

"Keeping it fresh?" You've only been back a day!

Yeah, and it's wonderful and exciting

and I want it to stay that way.

How do you keep it interesting?

There's some real horror stories in here.

Pretty much every letter is from someone who is having an affair

or they're sleeping around.

Morning.

Morning, Daniel - I was just telling Jimmi that...

-What about your tea?

-It's busy out there.

Wow!

If it all seems OK, could you sign there for me, please?

Certainly.

Yes, I suspected her photo from the start.

Did you challenge her?

Young people change their appearance weekly, officer.

If I challenged every dubious photo, I'd never do a single test!

Is the system that slack? I mean, this is serious stuff.

Yes, but we've questioned people in the past and got it wrong.

Messy business. Now if that's all...

I think so. I'll be in touch.

I'll have a word with my colleagues

and make sure we're extra vigilant in the future.

Thank you.

Rob.

Howard, what can I do for you?

That check you wanted me to do. The hatchback? It's a hire car.

-What? She took her driving test in a hire car?

-Seems so.

The rental company's system is down at the moment,

so we can't find out who hired it.

But obviously you need a full licence to hire a car.

'Hello, this is Hollie. I can't take your call right now.

'Please try again later.'

What do you want me to say? I AM Sophia Martez.

I've lost a bit of weight since then but that's hardly a crime!

Is this going to take long? Cos I need to get home.

Whose car were you driving today?

-I told you - it's mine.

-Not a hire car, then?

It's not a crime to hire a car.

Isn't this harassment?

You need a full driving licence to hire a car.

You can't do it with a provisional.

And apparently it was hired by a Hannah Whiteley yesterday afternoon

with no other drivers listed.

And I'm sure you'll be interested to know that one of my colleagues

has just visited Sophia Martez - the real one - at her home in Solihull.

I'll ask you once again. What is your real name?

Is it Hannah Whiteley?

Yes.

Have you heard about date nights?

Does it involve car keys?

No! Nothing like that.

You book a baby-sitter every week,

then you go for a meal or you go to the cinema.

I was reading about it in an article.

In the paper? I didn't see that.

More of a magazine, really.

What, in Karen's dreadful gossip magazine?

-Are all the Hollywood celebrities doing it, by any chance?

-Probably. I don't know.

Because that is the lamest, corniest,

most American thing I have ever heard of.

Yuck!

It's a maybe then, isn't it?

This guy came up to me in the student union bar.

I'm way over on my credit card and he said it was easy.

When was this?

A week ago maybe.

Can you describe him to me? Height, hair?

Average height, mousy hair.

Thin? Fat? Age?

Average, really.

Is there an average age?

Sorry - all I can remember is him saying they'd put £250 through

my door on the morning of the test and another £250 after I passed.

Whereabouts in the bar were you?

I'm not sure, why?

Haven't they got CCTV in there now?

Yes.

I'm sorry, I'm so stupid.

But I really need to get home. Please can I go?

Driving test fraud is a very serious offence.

But I was helping somebody out.

This Sophia - she keeps failing cos she gets too nervous.

I wasn't hurting anyone.

If she's not competent enough to pass the driving test

on her own merits, she shouldn't be driving.

What if she crashes into someone?

What if she causes a motorway pile-up?

What if she kills a child?

We need to know who's organising this.

-I wish I could remember.

-It was only a few days ago.

OK. Let's go back to today.

You say £250 was put through your door.

With the provisional licence.

But we found £500 in your handbag. Explain that.

-It's not mine.

-Whose is it then? I don't think you're telling us the truth.

-I am!

-Then tell us about the money in your bag.

It was for the examiner, OK?

You are blocking the fridge.

Oh, sorry. Is one of these yours?

Yeah, thanks. What's all this for?

Um, I'm cooking a special meal for Rob.

Ah! Your jar is going to be full of marbles in no time.

OK, friend of mine got married.

Him and his new wife would put a marble in the jar every time

they made love during that first year of marriage.

I bet that filled up quick!

Yeah, and it was a very large jar.

The point is you take a marble out of that jar every time you

make love after that first year of marriage.

-Wouldn't last long.

-Au contraire, mon amie.

That jar took nearly three years to reach half empty.

No!

Yeah. They argued about it, they blamed each other,

and that poor jar stayed half-empty.

-They split up last Christmas.

-That's terrible!

Not really. His divorce party is in Majorca - happy days!

What's this about, Sergeant? I thought we'd covered everything already.

Thanks for dropping back in, Mr Simpson.

I haven't got long before my next test.

We'll be as quick as we can.

We need to make a new statement to clarify a few things.

Clarify what? I've already told you everything I know.

Your candidate from this morning has made a serious allegations about you.

Me? That's outrageous. I'm offended. No, actually, I'm insulted.

I hope you're pleased with yourself!

This is an important job I'm doing.

Yeah.

Me too.

Any progress?

We've got a grumpy examiner out there. That's about it.

Listen, if you interview Hannah again, can I sit in?

I've got a feeling this is more complicated than we think.

Really? Well, I've sent a couple of PCs with her

to see if they can find that bloke hanging round the university.

-We need to put more pressure on her. She's cleverer than we think.

-When I find out who is the brains

behind this scam, don't worry - I'm going to enjoy throwing the book at them.

But that's not your priority, is it?

It's more important than the Neighbourhood Watch.

I need that contact list, Howard.

Cos then some lucky soul is going to get to liaise with them all.

What do you want, Daniel?

OK, so look. The date night thing was a rubbish idea.

How about we learn something together?

I'm not having golf lessons, if that's what you think.

No - I was thinking more like a language or a skill.

It'd be fun.

No, it wouldn't! Look, what's going on?

Aren't Joe and I enough for you?

Course you are.

I just feel like I need a new challenge.

I feel like WE do.

Just getting through the week is a challenge, what with Joe and work

and the house and everything. Honestly!

What's up with you? You seem to have lost your sense of fun completely.

Is that the address you've got listed? Strange.

Can you e-mail me her student ID?

-Hello?

-Anything with a photo.

-No, he's on the other line.

Now, preferably, thanks.

-You're kidding!

-What's happened?

They've lost Hannah at the students union. She's gone into the toilets and climbed out the window.

Please tell me that is a joke.

It's the oldest trick in the book!

-I told you she was clever.

-Well, find her, then, you dimwit!

At least you've got her address.

-We've got Hannah Whiteley's address.

-That's not her.

-No.

So she's not Hannah Whiteley and she's not Sophia Martez.

Then who is she?

DOORBELL

-Oh, it's you.

-Where have you been?

I've been phoning every five minutes!

-I left my keys so I couldn't get in.

-I'm so sorry, Nan.

I was outside the test centre for over an hour.

Nan, I've really messed up big time!

Well, keep looking. Someone must have seen her.

Rob, I've been thinking. Somebody needs to pick up the pass certificate from her, don't they?

-And they probably need it as soon as possible.

-Maybe.

If it was me, I'd wait at the test centre.

Get it off her as soon as she's done.

And you're thinking?

Is there CCTV covering the test centre? Shall I check?

Worth a try.

They kept me in this manky cell for ages - no shoes, no belt.

It was horrible!

But they let you go?

I managed to sneak off.

But they found the money in my handbag.

Hollie?

So I had to tell them about Mr Simpson.

I didn't know what else to do, Nan.

They were starting to suss I wasn't Hannah Whiteley.

Have you any idea how hard it was to get an examiner on board?

This doesn't work otherwise.

Please let me go back to the theory tests.

I was good at them.

I need you driving, Hollie - you're perfectly capable.

And with your mum out the picture...

If I have to get another driver,

there won't be any work for your mum when she gets released, will there?

I thought you wanted to help her.

-I do.

-Then it's up to you.

Maybe it'll be OK.

I just...

The cyclist gave me a fright, I was doing great till then.

I'm sure you were.

And it's just for a few months, till Mum gets out.

Good girl. We'll say no more about it, then.

Right, you've got Monmouth tomorrow morning.

Barry, Cardiff and Newport the rest of the week.

The details are all in here.

Better get packed.

Check this one out.

Can you zoom in?

We have a number plate. Check it out?

Yeah. It's the only lead we've got.

Typical Eric. He's not answering.

Here, wipe that. Dump it on your way out.

That policeman, he kept saying how dangerous this is.

How can taking a driving test be dangerous?

Sophia and the others, they might not be good drivers.

They might kill someone.

They were just nervous. We all mess up when we're nervous.

Like you did, this morning.

Mum phoned last week and told me not to do this.

She said it's too risky.

Is your mum paying the rent?

-Buying the food, putting petrol in the car?

-No.

-No. I do all of that.

Your mother just screws things up.

What if I get stopped again?

You won't if you're careful.

I was never stopped.

I was never even interviewed. Cos I don't mess up. And you won't either.

I was petrified, Nan.

But now you know to use this.

That's how you keep out of trouble, not grassing people up.

HE dropped ME in it, I told you.

And I told you - Eric Simpson is vital and you are not.

And nor is your useless mother.

You silly girl! Why the hell did you get me involved?

-Get away from me!

-Cut it out, Eric! Keep your voice down.

Your brainless granddaughter...

Is just leaving. So let her go.

Let her go.

It was a hiccup, Eric. And she's sorry. Aren't you, Hollie?

-But he grassed me.

-Very sorry.

Very sorry.

Now, they don't know who or where she is.

I'm moving her out, so we'll get somebody else to cover the Midlands when the time's right.

I can't risk anything for months now.

No-one's asking you to, Eric. It can't be helped.

You'll get your cut.

A bit of bad luck, that's all.

Maybe.

Come on in and have a cuppa. You better get going.

I've got it.

Eric Simpson. Fancy seeing you here.

And you must be...

Margaret Dora Marlow. This your vehicle?

I'm a bit hard of hearing. Sorry, officer. Has there been some trouble?

Keep still!

Ah! It's our mystery girl.

She was trying to chuck this.

Look at all these. It's like Stars In Your Eyes.

"Who you going to be tonight?" Well, I'll tell you who you are. You are Hollie Marlow, yes?

Where did you get these from, Hollie?

No comment.

Two phones.

-Is one of them your nan's?

-No comment.

-I haven't got a clue what's going on here.

-Really?

Seriously, she wanted a sick note to show to her husband!

So he would look after her?

So he'd stop pestering her for sex!

Over my dead body.

Eh? Ballroom dancing? Like Strictly?

Can you seriously see Daniel and me doing the tango?

All heat and smouldering passion?

You'd be amazing.

Yeah. You'd bring the house down.

Anything you do say may be given in evidence.

Get off.

If there's nothing else, I think I need a lie down, officer.

Actually, there is. Because your car was in the vicinity,

we need you to make a witness statement.

I'll pop in next week.

Take Mr Simpson, will you?

You're not going to try and run away as well, are you?

-I'm calling my solicitor.

-Well, I can do that for you.

-I'll tell them you're in a cell at Letherbridge police station.

-Nan, I need a good solicitor.

-He'll get you one.

-Is that it, then?

-I don't think anyone's caught me doing anything untoward,

-have they, officer?

-You do realise she could get six months for this.

Nan, please - phone someone.

Sorry, lovey. I can't afford expensive solicitors.

We'll get you a duty solicitor.

My gran used to buy me sweets, not stitch me up.

Nan, please! I don't want to go to prison.

If someone gets caught for doing something illegal,

they have to take full responsibility.

That's the way it is.

Come on.

Wait.

She did it.

Don't you dare.

She gave me the documents.

She finds the customers, she bribes the examiners,

she does it all over the country.

We just take the flak.

Absolute lies. I've no idea what she's talking about.

Margaret Marlow, it gives me great pleasure to arrest you on suspicion of driving test fraud.

You don't have to say anything but it may harm your defence

if you don't mention when questioned something you later rely on in court.

Anything you do say may be given as evidence.

Wednesdays are OK, aren't they?

OK for what?

Ballroom dancing.

8pm, beginners welcome.

"Slip on your dancing shoes for some fitness,

"fun and a splash of glamour'"

What? That's right up your street.

Never in a billion years would you get me

to "slip on my dancing shoes".

Honestly, Daniel.

What is it that you think I'm trying to do?

Who knows?

Oh, I get it. OK. It's cos I thought of it and not you.

-Don't be ridiculous.

-I thought this could be something good for both of us, something fun.

Don't worry, Zara. Cos I won't ask again.

Good day at the office, dear?

Wonderful. How about you, dear?

I'm very, very tired but I'm starving. What's for tea?

Posh ready-meals but with a home-made sauce.

Great.

But I can keep them warm if you would like to pop upstairs

and put a marble in the jar?

Put a what in the what?

Um, Kevin was...

Oh, look. The Searchers is on. That used to be your favourite.

-Really?

-OK, it was mine. But you did like it.

Shall we eat in there?

Oh. Yeah.

OK? It does smell nice.

And so do you.

You go through. I'll bring it when it's ready.

Good. Great.

HE YAWNS

I'm ever so sorry it took so long.

TELEVISION IS ON

I've been sick, pet.

You look awful.

Doctor, doctor!

Doctor Carmichael.

Doctor...Doctor Carmichael. Ooh!