A Trick of the Mind Doctors

Is this yours?

It was in your drawer.

You're going through my stuff now?

No, I was just... Sorry.

It's nice.

When did you get it?

You really don't remember? Should I?

What is wrong with you? I got it when we were on holiday.

You were with me, darling. You told me to get it. I did?

This is impossible. You cannot remember anything.

Are you still angry about last night?

I shouldn't have snapped at you. I was worried.

I forgot you said you'd be late.

I still can't remember you telling me.

I told you twice, Jane. Once when I was in the shower,

again when I left the house.

I thought you said you'd phone me.

You can't even remember the things you can't remember.

What do I have to do? Put everything in writing?

It's just the pregnancy.

Is it? I think so.

Ah, Dr Carter. Morning, Mrs Tembe.

I was wondering where you were.

Audit report. Sorry, I thought I'd left this at home.

Is that for the partners' meeting? What partners' meeting?

The one this morning, which has now finished.

Why wasn't I told?

I sent you an email. Last week.

Oh, I should have set up a reminder on my phone.

Oh, Mr Bellamy did not mind.

Well, I mind. It's rude and unprofessional.

She's all over the place. Hysterical, irrational, overwrought.

She is eight months pregnant. It's more than that.

Have you talked to her?

I can't. If I mention anything she flies off the handle.

Doesn't sound like her. Has she said anything to you?

I've hardly seen her since she went on maternity leave.

I hope she doesn't get post-natal depression. She won't.

She's a strong woman. Is that all?

One more. I don't think I can cope, you know?

I expect she might struggle a bit, too.

If you're really worried, maybe she should see someone.

What? Like a shrink? Maybe. No. I don't want to go down that road.

It's not about you, Nigel.

She'll be fine.

KNOCK ON DOOR Yes.

Dr Carter. I am so sorry.

I did NOT send you the email about the meeting.

What? For some reason, I forgot to copy you in.

Well, how did that happen?

It must have slipped my mind.

So, it wasn't me? Usually I am so careful.

I must be losing my marbles.

There's nothing funny about that, Mrs Tembe!

I appreciate that, Dr...

How am I supposed to manage when people around me

lack basic competence? It was a simple mistake...

Don't you check your emails before you send them?

Yes, of course I do! Always, but for some...

You should have a partners group in your contacts.

A novice would know that.

It will not happen again.

Thank you for doing this. That's what friends are for.

I've missed you. You've not been to dinner in ages.

I know. I'm sorry. Unless you have been and I've forgotten.

Along with everything else. Pregnant women are forgetful, Jane.

It comes with the territory.

This is different. I can't remember anything.

I'm driving Nigel mad.

He said you had a bit of a tiff last night.

That's putting it mildly. Bad?

Awful. And it was my fault.

What happened?

I was expecting him for dinner, he came home really late and I lost it.

Then he shouted and I started crying.

Why did he shout at you?

Apparently he told me he was working late. I don't remember.

That's no reason to shout.

It's not just that. It happens all the time.

I was supposed to meet him for lunch last week.

I turned up at the hospital, all dolled up,

ready to say how sorry I was, how much I loved him,

all of that. And I only went and got the wrong day.

When was this?

Last Wednesday. He was at some conference in Coventry.

Yeah, I remember.

Everyone was giving me these pitying looks.

Like I was some pathetic, mad woman. You're not mad.

He's just under so much pressure with money, the baby...

The last thing he needs is me making it worse.

Nigel's fine.

You need to concentrate on yourself.

Afternoon, Mrs Tembe. Dr Clarke. Now what can I do for you?

I thought I'd surprise Niamh.

Whisk her away for a spot of lunch.

What a lovely idea.

I will let her know you are here.

Hello, Oliver. Heston, hello.

I was talking about you just this morning. All good, I hope.

Well, you were missed at the RCGP conference last week.

I delivered a paper.

Oh, yes. Sorry, I was busy. Actually, if you'll excuse me.

Of course.

Is she ready?

Unfortunately, Dr Donoghue has to attend to a special emergency.

What special emergency?

I am not at liberty to discuss it.

OK. But... And she will not be available for some time.

That's a shame.

Yes. Yes, it is.

Right. Well, erm, tell her I called by, will you?

Yes. Yes, I will.

There's a history of mental illness in my family.

OK, You can step down now, please.

My mother was an alcoholic.

She had terrible depressions and terrible memory lapses.

How many units do you drink a week? When you're not pregnant?

I don't. I never have.

Well, I think there's very little chance of you becoming an alcoholic.

But what about the memory lapses and all the rest?

If it's genetic, I could pass it on to the baby.

I suspect your mother's alcoholism had a lot to do

with her memory lapses. I'm getting as bad as she was.

It's probably just stresses of pregnancy and lack of sleep.

Or I really am going mad? I doubt it.

Feels like it.

I have no memory at all of Nigel telling me he was home late.

I can give you some strategies to help boost your memory.

And...

..I'd like a urine sample.

Just to rule out any physical problems, OK?

Ah! So this is the special emergency you're attending to. What?

Mrs Tembe said you were attending to a special emergency

that she wasn't at liberty to discuss.

She said that? What is she like?

You do know that getting the Tembe-nator to lie for you is a sackable offence.

Did Oliver believe her?

I doubt it.

Why don't you want to see him?

He's been coming on a bit strong.

Like everything's been decided between us.

And it's not? Not for me.

I thought you liked him? I do.

I did... But you know when you click with someone, and you like

the same things, you laugh at the same things?

I don't have that with him.

Hmm.

That's a shame.

Maybe it's for the best.

I guess you'll have to keep looking. Right.

SHE SIGHS

What if I end up like my mother? You won't.

She was the reason my dad left us.

From what you've told me, you couldn't be less like your mother.

Thank you.

You're good to me. Well, I have to look after my staff.

And Nigel?

Nigel too.

He's not in any trouble at work, is he? No, why?

He's just been working late a lot. Does he need to?

Well, you know we're all struggling with the budget cuts,

the reforms, restructuring... I just wish he didn't have to.

Sometimes I feel like I'm going through the pregnancy on my own.

Have you talked to him about it?

He's always too tired.

Make him talk about it.

I wouldn't know how to.

You can't carry on like this.

It's like he's forgotten we were ever in love.

You need to sort things out before the baby's born.

I keep hoping it'll be different then. But I'm not so sure.

You don't think he's having second thoughts about the baby, do you?

I'm sure he isn't.

Hey, what happened between you and Mrs Tembe this morning?

It was nothing.

Didn't sound like nothing.

She forgot to tell me about a meeting.

That's it?

I may have over-reacted.

Why? Doesn't matter.

Have you heard something? Have you had test results back?

I don't want to talk about it.

OK.

That stuff I told you before? It goes no further.

Heston, I'm not going to betray your confidence.

I don't want you repeating it.

Who do you think I am, Gobby Hollins?

As long as you know.

OK, but I'm worried about you. Cos If you have heard something

and it's interfering with your work...

Do you really think I would be that irresponsible?

Not deliberately, no.

But the way you're acting, are you sure you should really be here?

I know exactly what I'm doing.

I don't need patronising advice from someone half my age.

Why did you take her to the doctor? I said she was fine.

She isn't fine, Nigel. She thinks she's losing her mind.

She's just being dramatic.

I really resent finding out like this.

Do you have any idea how awkward it was for me?

Knowing what I do? I told you to stay out of it.

How can I stay out of it? I care about her.

Why didn't you tell me things were as bad as they were?

It'll sort itself out. No. It won't. You need to level with her.

Tell her what's going on. I can't do that.

And you need to make your mind up.

Do you want to stay with her, or not?

I don't know. Well, decide.

Because the baby's due in three weeks.

Seeing as you're in hiding, I figured you might need supplies.

Sounds wonderful. I'm starving.

And they say romance is dead.

# Ba-ba-ra-pa! #

Pickled gherkins? Your favourite. You're joking.

Hey, there's nothing wrong with pickled gherkins, dude.

How did you know? You mentioned it.

When? A couple of weeks ago.

And you remembered?

Nothing gets past me. You're amazing.

Yes, I am. Ah. Sweet.

Hang on.

When I baked you that parkin,

you practically accused me of stalking.

This is different.

I don't know. I mention something in passing - once -

and it goes straight into your little notebook.

I don't have a notebook.

I didn't mean literally. It just stuck in my head.

Most people wouldn't remember.

I'm not stalking you.

That's not what I meant.

PHONE RINGS

Yes?

I completely forgot. I'm so sorry, I'll come straight back.

Have I upset you?

No. I really appreciate this, Al. I was just teasing.

You don't have to apologise.

I am what you think I am. What?

An obsessive geek with a compulsion for trivial detail.

Did I say that?

Didn't you? I don't think so.

Anyway, I quite like geeks.

Even obsessive ones?

I shouldn't have mentioned the stalking. It was stupid.

No, it's...

No, it's fine.

Oh, you're pregnant. You're allowed to forget things.

It was the last thing the doctor said to me

and then I walked out and then... I don't know what happened.

You think doctors don't forget anything? They're worse

than anybody. If it weren't for me, they wouldn't know where they were!

I'm sure that's not true.

This computer and me are the only things that stands between them

and total chaos.

Oh, er, Dr MacPherson,

you do know that you've got a meeting at St Phil's

at five o'clock? I do?

With a Dr Stephenson? Oh, yes.

Hello again. I'm so sorry about this. That's all right.

Whoa!

Let's get her to my room. Deep breaths. That's it, well done.

I'll see you later.

Have you thought about what I said?

Yeah. And?

Why can't I just keep things the way they are?

It's only going to hurt her.

It'll hurt more if you don't.

And it's not going to be good for the baby either.

It's not about her feelings or the baby's health. Grow up, Nigel.

How am I supposed to tell her, huh?

What do I say? I don't know, but you better figure it out

because I'm not going to cover for you any more.

And if you don't tell her, I will.

I'm losing my mind. No, you're not.

It's true. I found the bed sheets in the laundry today

but I always change them on a Friday.

You're expecting your first baby in a few weeks.

Your routine's bound to go out the window.

I don't even remember taking them off the bed.

Look, worrying about it's not going to help.

That's not all. They smelled different.

Like someone else's perfume.

I'd practically convinced myself that Nigel was having an affair.

And then I remembered he'd changed his aftershave.

That's easy enough thing to forget.

But what if I hadn't remembered? You see?

I'm going mad. I don't think so.

Changing your aftershave is one of the top ten signs of adultery.

I read it in a magazine.

Could you go and call Mrs Buckland a taxi?

Now, go home and get some rest.

If you feel dizzy again I want you to call me, hmm?

And, please, try to stop worrying.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to be patronising.

You weren't. I'm the one who should apologise.

I don't know what's got into me.

So, what's the story? Have they found something?

What's that supposed to mean?

It means that talking about it won't help, Kevin.

OK. Wait.

I went to a memory clinic yesterday.

Memory clinic?

I was referred.

You mean...?

I'm sorry, Heston.

Have they given you any time frame? No.

Any idea how far it's progressed?

Well, it wasn't a complete diagnosis, but...

there are indications.

Indications? That's it? So you haven't had the test results?

It'll take a few days.

But then... I'm not clinging on to false hope.

No, of course not.

Look, I can't imagine what you're going through.

No. But, please, don't jump to any conclusions

until you've had the test results back.

SHE BREATHES HEAVILY

SHE PANTS

SHE MOANS IN PAIN

Kevin, I really appreciate the support you've given me.

It's nothing. And you're right, I should keep an open mind. Good.

But I think it's going to start affecting my work.

Depending on how serious it is. Yeah, but I need to take precautions

and the sooner I start, the better.

But I need your help.

What with?

I know I've imposed on you already but... What?

If you don't want to do it, I'll completely understand. Heston, what do you want me to help you with?

I want you to keep this.

It's a sort of living will. Obviously, keep it a secret.

I can't take this. Why not?

What did we say about jumping the gun? You need to wait for the diagnosis. I can't sleep...

..I can't eat, I can't think about anything else.

This is my way of taking back control.

Sure, but...

I trust you, Kevin.

I know. I wouldn't ask unless I had to.

All right.

Thank you.

Have you told Nigel? Not yet.

I don't want him to know I'm here. He'll have to know at some point.

We never used condoms. I'm pregnant, anyway.

Why don't you lie down? What does he need them for?

I don't know. He's having an affair. He must be.

What other explanation can there be?

You haven't heard anything? Is it someone at work? I don't know.

You haven't noticed anything?

Seen him with someone? I can't talk about this, Jane.

Why not? I just can't.

Oh, my God...

You know. Y-You need to talk to Nigel.

You do, don't you?

Is it serious? Is he going to leave me?

Would it be so bad if he did?

I'm having his baby!

Being a single mum isn't the end of the world. What?!

Lots of women manage. I don't believe this.

You might be better off. Please, Matt. You have to tell me.

Look, this is between you and Nigel. I'm sorry.

You will have to hand this to the doctor next time you are in.

OK. Thank you. My pleasure.

Mrs Tembe.

Yes?

I'm sorry that I shouted at you earlier.

It was wrong of me. Yes, it was.

I've had a lot on my mind lately. Not that that's any excuse.

But I am sorry.

Thank you.

Is it too much to ask for someone to let me know my wife's in labour?

I'm sorry.

You are such a hypocrite.

What? Stop pretending that you care and just tell me.

Are you having an affair or not?

This isn't the time. Yes or no?

You have to concentrate on the baby, Jane.

If you're going to run off with some other woman, I want to know.

How long's it been going on for? It's not what you think.

I don't want stupid cliches, Nigel. I want the truth! Jane, please...

What do you use these for? Hm? Balloons?

Calm down. Why won't you tell me?

Don't do this. Nigel!

For God's sake, tell her. She has a right to know.

Stay out of this, Matt.

Tell me who she is!

It's not a she. (Matt.) It's me.

You?!

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.

It was never serious. It just happened.

You're unbelievable. Wait, Matt.

How long has this been going on?

A few months. Months?! He came on to ME, Jane.

Oh, and that makes it all right?

I don't want to talk about this. Well, I do! Not now.

I-I'll be back. Nigel!

I have a meeting with Dr Stephenson. He's expecting me.

And one of my patients is here. A Mrs Buckland?

I'd like to know how she's getting on.

What are you doing?

I'm going home to get drunk.

Because I've just found out the man that I love -

the man that told me he loved me -

doesn't think our relationship was ever serious.

I didn't mean that.

You know, it's been eating me up for months,

how much we were hurting Jane.

And-and I let it go because...I trusted you.

And I thought you wanted us to be together. I do.

I'm supposed to believe that?

You lied to her. Maybe you've been lying to me all along.

Jane was never right for me. You know that.

I don't know anything about you.

You made her think she was losing her mind,

just to cover your tracks. What kind of person does that?

I did it for you.

I don't know what I ever saw in you. Yes, you do.

You know exactly what you saw in me. And you loved it.

I loved YOU.

I'm as big a fool as she is.

We can be together now.

We don't have to worry about her any more.

She's about to have your baby, Nigel. I don't care. I want you.

Well, I DON'T want you.

I don't want anything to do with you.

And you might want to look for another job.

He knew about your mother's illness?

And he let you believe you were losing your memory?

Perhaps he didn't realise what he was doing.

You're not going to make excuses for him, are you?

You don't think I should forgive him?

I think you need to consider what's best for you and the baby.

He's the father...

Where you going?

It was a false alarm. They're sending me home.

Look, we need to talk.

Can we go to my office?

If you have something to say, say it here.

The thing between me and Matt...

it was just a bit of fun.

Is that how HE feels?

I don't care how he feels. I told him we're finished.

You did? Yeah.

He wasn't happy about it. He said I should get a new job.

Which means I need you more than ever.

Need me?

We need each other.

And our baby needs a father.

No. Not like you.

Jane, I love you. No, you don't.

You made me think I was going mad.

I can make it up to you.

I don't want you anywhere near me.

Or the baby.

But you'd better get another job.

Cos I'm going to make you pay for what you've done.

TAXI ENGINE STARTS

You never know...

she might forget about it in time.

But, then again...

..she might not.

What you up to tonight? You and Niamh going for a drink?

Not likely.

I thought you two were getting along again.

Nope.

What is it with you two?

She'd probably accuse me of sexual harassment if I bought her a drink.

Still working? Yeah, I've got stuff to finish up.

After that? Any plans?

Watch a bit of TV. Maybe do some reading.

Dinner? Was just going to pick a kebab up on the way home.

Right. You?

Still got my gherkins.

Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

No, no, it's fine.

Well, I'll see you tomorrow. Yeah.

Night.

Enough is enough.

Al's already going.

In my capacity as private citizen and enthusiast.

Well, good, you can double up.

War - the work of opposites, the contest of polarities.

Perhaps we should call the cops?

What, and tell them we found a message in the ladies loos?

Someone's going to do him in!

I knew it was wrong.

I knew what I did was wrong.

Tom, I've kept a secret from you.

I never meant to lie to you. I just did what I thought I had to.

The quieter you keep a secret, the louder it explodes.

Why?!