Signs Doctors

-I'll do your favourite for you when you get home.

-Steak?

I was thinking more along the lines of dessert.

And don't forget to sign and hand in the papers to the bank.

It shuts at 4:30.

And don't be late, I'll be waiting.

I'm only at the Campus surgery today, it's just me and Gary.

I'll be in and out in no time.

Cheeky.

MOBILE RINGS

Hiya, mate, what's up?

What?

You're joking.

And Zara...

I mean, well she looked amazing, but I mean where did all that come from?

Where did she learn to dance like that?

I know, my jaw hit the floor!

And her legs went on for days. Not that I'm jealous.

Definitely the look of love between Daniel and Zara.

Bet they had a busy weekend!

Nice!

It's a bit odd though, isn't it? Toni and Daniel?

What's going on there?

Tea?

Coffee, strong and black.

Coming right up.

Did you have a heavy weekend?

No, very quiet actually.

We were just saying about the dancing competition.

Absolutely brilliant.

Yeah, you did really well.

You looked fantastic. You were clearly the belle of the ball.

And who knew that Zara had hidden talents?

Thanks.

What about Anton du Beke - what a lovely man.

Yeah, he was dead funny.

I got a picture and an autograph!

I got to hang out with him backstage and had a little dance.

Great.

Right, best crack on.

Yeah, and I'm going to open up.

Where's all this paper come from?

Morning.

I'm here to change the signs and locks,

Thornton Maintenance Services.

Good morning. We have been expecting you.

I'm a little early because I'm on my own today.

Your punctuality should be applauded, Mr...?

Pickard, just call me Frank.

Good morning, Doctor Haskey.

Morning, Mrs Tembe.

Right, well I'll just get on then shall I?

Now, before you go, I have a few extra jobs that need doing,

if it is not too much trouble?

Right, then.

I'm afraid I'm a bit early

That's fine, Doctor Carter, please do take a seat.

Thank you very much.

I'm just nipping out to the van, I won't be a minute.

Now, before you go I have written down a list of the extra jobs

-I mentioned.

-Actually, you'll need to book them in with the office.

But they are only minor.

It's against company policy to take on any jobs without the office

clearing them first, and I've got enough on my plate as it is.

Well, well. I never thought I'd see the day.

Frank Pickard working for a living.

Actually, you might be just the man I'm looking for.

Why's that then, Sergeant Hollins?

There's been a spate of burglaries in the area, you don't know anything about them, do you, Frank?

I'm afraid I can't help you Sergeant Hollins. That's all in the past. New horizons and all that.

It's been a while since I last saw trouble, I want to keep it that way.

So I take it that it's not your van illegally parked outside?

The disabled sign. It's there for a reason.

I suggest you move it.

I will do, Sergeant Hollins.

Morning, Mrs Tembe. How are you?

Ah, as good as that?

There was no need to speak to Mr Pickard that way.

Really?

Only it's a bit of a coincidence the number of break-ins that

we've had and Frank Pickard happens to be working in the area.

I'd keep your eye on him if I were you.

May I say I am disturbed at your lack of faith in people,

Sergeant Hollins.

It comes with the job, Mrs Tembe.

Occupational hazard you might say.

I think it might be broken, unless it's one of their little tests.

They'll question us later as to what time the clock was stuck on.

Fiendishly clever, don't you think?

Ah, that's doctors for you.

Elizabeth.

Heston, pleased to meet you.

Then again, it might just be a broken clock.

You're probably right. They wouldn't be quite so callous.

Some of the doctors I know would do it just for fun.

No, the theory I have is that they can keep you waiting

-for as long as they like because they think you won't remember.

-Ah.

Please accept my apologies for the delay, Doctor Carter.

I hope your wait wasn't too arduous?

No, It was rather pleasant actually.

-Really?

-I came prepared.

-Anything good?

-Ulysses.

Ha-ha-ha, I've been meaning to have another go at that myself.

It's my fifth.

It would be my third, so you're clearly a braver man than me,

Doctor Carter.

The plan for today is to run you through a number of tests.

Some of which you will no doubt be familiar with

such as the dementia screening blood tests.

Discussing your diet and alcohol use

and reviewing any medication you might presently be taking.

I will also ask you to tell me about the types of things you

appear to be forgetting.

Following this we will move onto the memory tests.

Please be reassured they are not designed to trip you up, merely

to give us a more rounded picture of your current cognitive abilities.

Do you have any questions at this stage?

Here you go, a nice cup of tea.

Ah, thank you, that's very kind of you.

Look, I'm really sorry for snapping at you earlier. That was very rude.

It has been forgotten. So how are you getting on here?

This is usually a two man job, but Gary's cried off sick.

I do the locks, he does the signs, it's left me on my own.

Gary not being around is causing your anxiety?

Something like that.

There's only so many hours in the day and I've got to get to the bank by half past four, drop some papers off.

I don't think I'll be finished in time.

-Well, I will not keep you then.

-No, no, it's fine.

A couple of minutes won't do any harm.

I'm also really sorry about what happened with that copper.

Sergeant Hollins.

Do not apologise. The past is the past.

It really has been a while since I've been in trouble.

My mum died.

Oh, I am sorry to hear that.

It's made me think about a few things. She left me some money.

So I'm going to put it down as a deposit on a house with Carole,

my girlfriend.

Well, that sounds very exciting.

I wish you both the best of luck.

Thank you, I'd better crack on. Thanks again for the tea.

Erm, the nurse's room is next door.

Of course it is. See what happens when I rush.

Thanks again, Mrs Tembe.

KNOCK KNOCK

-Come in.

-Got a minute?

Mrs Wilkie, apparently you saw her the other day.

-Who?

-Old dear, diabetic, lives alone, brings in biscuits.

Right?

Er, well, It's just that we're waiting on some blood results,

and I wondered if you'd chased.

Well ,if you're in with her, can't you call?

Yes, yes, I can, I just thought I'd check.

Only she mentioned she'd been in with the nice new doctor.

Sweet.

I just wanted to say that, er...

I just wanted to thank you again for the other night again.

I thought you danced brilliantly.

Clearly not that brilliantly.

You were great. Much better than me.

I'm going to put my dancing shoes to bed, so to speak.

But you were fantastic.

I think you should definitely carry on.

I'm not so sure.

I am. You should, really.

OK, well, I'll think about it.

Great, I'll leave you to it.

Thanks.

MOBILE RINGS

-Hi, babe.

-Yeah, I called the bank and they said you haven't been in yet?

No, I'm swamped.

Gary hasn't turned up, so I'm by myself.

We have to get the papers there today, Frank.

I said I'll do it.

Tell me when and I'll meet you.

'No, listen. The sooner I get off the phone the sooner I'll get to the bank.'

Papers are right in front of me.

Are you still there?

Babe, someone's come in.

Let me speak to you later, love you, love you, bye.

Frank?!

It's been a crazy morning!

Hasn't it.

I am desperate for a caffeine fix. Didn't sleep a wink all weekend.

Must've been all that adrenaline flying around.

Right.

Kind of gets you, doesn't it? You want more.

I thought you did brilliantly by the way.

And what you managed to get out of Daniel was nigh on miraculous.

Well, he is very competent.

But you managed to awaken something in him,

that I couldn't and for that I thank you.

I didn't mean to rain on your parade.

You could've just said if you wanted to dance.

Where's the fun in that?

-No harm done, was there?

-No.

It was wonderful seeing Daniel's face!

I'm glad I could help.

No rest for the wicked.

Is she behaving?

Yes, she's being incredibly nice. I feel such a fool.

Want a tea or coffee?

Large vodka?

Well, Mrs Tembe's stash is empty,

but I guess I could stretch to wine and an ear-bending over lunch?

I'd only bore you senseless.

I promise I won't snore if you do.

If you're sure?

I would like you to remember the following words -

lemon, key, and ball.

Lemon, key, ball.

Try to remember them

because I'm going to ask you to recall them later.

Can you take seven away from 100?

-93.

-I'd like you to keep taking seven away from each new number until I tell you to stop.

Erm, 86, 79,

72, 65.

Thank you.

Now, I would like you to follow my instructions.

Pick up the pencil, then the paper.

Now, place the paper on top of the pencil.

Now, pick up the pencil, but not the paper.

Pass me the pencil after touching the paper.

Would you use the same pencil and paper provided to draw

a clock face with the numbers and hands at ten past five?

And now could you repeat the three words I asked you to remember earlier.

Lemon, key...erm....

Lemon, key......

Not to worry. Let's move on to something else.

May I ask what you think you are doing?

I've dropped something.

Oh, really?

What, are you spying on me now?

If it's not you keeping your beady eye on me,

then it's Carole wanting to know if I've been to the bank yet.

That's a joke, how could I do that with the list of jobs piling up?

Look, this is not what it seems. I'm not a thief.

Yes, I was a thief once but not any more.

Please, please, believe me?

I'm listening.

Right, I've lost my mortgage papers this morning,

and I trying to retrace my steps hoping they'll turn up.

And that's the God's honest truth.

Right, I will help you look for them.

Thank you, Mrs Tembe.

Honestly, I feel such an idiot.

You're collateral damage.

Oh great, thanks!

You got caught up in the Daniel and Zara show.

And you walked away with just scratches and bruises. You're one of the lucky ones.

That sounds like the voice of experience.

It's like a game to them, they just change the rules when it suits them.

-A game?

-Yeah.

-What do they get if they win?

-I don't know. I thought I knew.

Really? What happened with you?

Doesn't matter, just I found out there are some games I'll

never get the hang of.

But I lived to fight another day and so will you. What you going to have?

Something wholesome, yet comforting.

Yep.

Just what I needed! Too many carbs though.

Sounds as though you like being hard on yourself.

Nah, I just know I overstep the limits sometimes.

Discipline, that's the answer.

Yeah, I don't think I was head of the queue when they were dishing that out.

What queue were you the head of then?

None, I suppose.

I never wanted to be the first or the best at anything.

Some people do and they don't give a jot what anybody else thinks.

You know, I was never one for relationships at work.

It's all about balance, isn't it?

Some couples get it right some don't.

Some manage to keep their ship afloat somehow,

a lot sink without trace.

I just need to steer mine away from emotional turmoil and partners.

I've never had balance. I'm jealous.

You don't need to be.

I don't know if I believe you, but thanks anyway.

Thank you. Hello, again.

Hello.

I'd ignore that clock if I were you, it isn't working.

It really is a long day.

They should give you some indication how long it's going to take.

I quite agree.

I suppose the advice to bring a friend or relative is to

counteract the boredom.

You on your own?

Elizabeth.

-Heston.

-Pleased to meet you.

No, my sister Judith insisted on accompanying me.

She's always been a stickler for the rules.

She's the Head Girl type.

She's gone to find me something to eat even though I told her

I wasn't hungry

Would you like a tea or coffee?

I can't guarantee the vintage but the service will be impeccable.

Coffee, thank you, one sugar.

One sugar.

Erm....

You found them. Thank you.

Well, I'd best get back to work.

Is there a problem, Mrs Tembe?

I was just thinking what a strange day it has been.

Well, first you parked where you should not have

because you ignored the signs.

Then you got upset when I wrote down those jobs for you, there was

the mix up with the signs on the door and now the misplaced papers.

It's all Gary's fault.

If he wasn't sick I could have just don't the locks.

Gary does the signs and paperwork.

I just keep me head down and replace the locks. That's how it works.

Does Gary know?

Does anyone know?

I've not even told Carole.

I know.

I am quite sure that she already knows.

I would hazard a guess that she has known for quite some time.

-How could she?

-Those papers are not what you think they are.

So what are they then?

They are papers authorising the bank to transfer money from one

account into another.

That's right. Into the one we set up for the mortgage.

No. These are papers to transfer money only into Carole's account.

None of this makes any sense. Carole loves me.

I know she does.

She has mixed the papers up, that's all.

Well, I'm sure you are right.

Please, come through.

Hiya, babe.

Now, I know you still haven't been to the bank

but I thought I'd come with you after all.

You know, in case they had any questions.

Well we better get going though, they'll be shutting soon.

I'm sorry, do I know you?

No, no, you don't know me But I know you.

What's that supposed to mean? Frank, tell me!

So whatever the magazines say,

it isn't always possible to have it all, the children, the career,

and the fabulous social life.

And anyway, from a very young age I got into the habit of doing what

I wanted, when I wanted, so marriage seemed like a backwards step.

Do you still feel the same way now?

No regrets.

Perhaps a little sadness that I'll lose the independence I spent

so many years cultivating, but we all do eventually.

Old age sees to that.

Is that not all right?

Sugar. I don't take sugar.

Oh, I am terribly sorry, I thought you said one.

Ah, here's is my sister, Harriet.

How do you do? Heston Carter.

Well, It's been very nice meeting you, Heston.

Perhaps in other circumstances, well, who knows?

Bye-bye.

So I made a mistake.

I'm sorry, I mean, you've made your fair share, remember?

Everyone deserves a second chance, I mean that's what you kept

telling me in your begging phone calls from the nick.

-If I remember I didn't have to beg too hard.

-I felt sorry for you.

Oh, I get now, I get it. I was the easy target.

Wracked with guilt, unable to read, wrong side of 40, he'll do.

It was all going to plan until now, wasn't it?

Who else was there for you, eh?

Only me, that's who.

It was me who helped you get back on your feet.

It was me who helped you find a job.

That's what people in love do for each other.

You don't get it do you, Frank?

I'm not in love with you.

I mean, I tried, I really did. You know I did.

Right, now I don't know anything.

I deserve something for everything I did for you.

Is that so?

If I walk through that door, I won't come back.

I don't do second chances.

You try to get me to sign papers so you could steal my money

and you want me to give you a second chance?!

Well, go and find some other mug!

There is nothing I can say to change what has happened.

She's right. I am just a sad desperate old man.

People like that woman are never right.

And you are none of those things.

Today has not been a complete disaster.

You have managed to rid yourself of someone who can no longer

cause you any pain.

You are free to move on with your life and make some positive changes.

Such as?

Well, you could start by telling Gary the truth.

And there is plenty of help out there for people in your situation.

People who can't read?

Yes.

Do you feel how you look?

Do I have reason not to?

We should wait for the results.

Can't you tell me now?

It doesn't work like that, I'm afraid.

I need to look at everything we did today and then make an assessment.

How long do I have to wait?

I should be able to discuss the results with you in a few days.

Oh, come on. You must have some idea at this point.

You should know better than most the need to wait for the results.

-You mean because I'm a doctor?

-Yes.

Well, I'm a patient now.

And want to know the truth.

And as I said before, we'll have it soon enough.

Until then, please take this. It's a memory strategy leaflet.

Have a read and if you have any questions I'll answer them

when I see you next.

And in the meantime, please try not to worry.

Thank you for your time, Doctor Lacey.

I know what I have to do.

I forgot to copy you in, I must be losing my marbles.

There's nothing funny about that, Mrs Tembe!

You know when you click with someone and you like the same things

and you laugh at the same things, and I don't have that with him.

-Are you sure you should really be here?

-I know exactly what I'm doing.

I don't need patronising advice from someone half my age!