Judgement Day Doctors

I went up the allotment yesterday. Tomatoes are doing lovely.

And the pumpkins.

You'll see them when you get out of here.

I've gotta go now.

MUSIC PLAYS THROUGH HEADPHONES

Here you go.

Mummy's got to go, Alison.

I love you loads.

# So you wanna play with magic

# Boy, you should know what you're falling for... #

Toni's left? What, just like that?

It's a real shame.

I thought she was happy - and she was settled in.

Mm. She's certainly getting her confidence back.

Probably she was just ready to move on, eh?

Or it's something to do with Zara.

Oh, do you think?

Well, after the dancing competition...

Ah, yeah.

Maybe she was just...

-FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

-(..ready to leave.)

So, are you ready for tonight?

Yes, I am.

-Nervous?

-No!

It's Al. I know him.

And I really like my outfit -

little pink dress, big black heals.

Great.

Now, what is the golden rule?

Never...talk about ex-boyfriends.

Never sleep with him on the first date.

Why not?

I mean, if it happens, it happens...

Al should have to work harder than that.

You are worth more than some pizza and some nasty cheap wine.

I know that.

You're an ol' cynic.

No. I'm wise and experienced.

Well, I can't wait,

and I've the rest of the day off to get ready,

so I'll see you later!

TAPPING

FOOTSTEPS

GLASS SHATTERS

So, are you ready for tonight?

Yeah, course I am.

I'm going to do some relaxing yoga,

then I'm going to have a mani and a pedi - cure.

I thought I might even exfoliate!

Seriously, though, what you going to wear?

-Cos you're not wearing that.

-Course not. I do have standards.

Good. Dress smart. Suit and a tie.

-That'll freak her out.

-No, it'll show that you're trying.

Now c'mon, she's going to have spent hours getting ready -

and she's worth it.

Just don't turn up looking like you can't be bothered.

I have been on dates before.

I just don't want you to get stressed and blow it.

-I wasn't stressed at all, until you rocked up!

-Fine.

I'm going. Don't talk about politics or religion.

What are we supposed to talk about, then?

Oh, and allow plenty of time to get ready.

I'm not even meeting her till seven.

And do something relaxing before you leave.

No smoking - not if you want a kiss.

Mrs Ramsey?

Hello?

Mrs Ramsey?

-In here!

-Shut it!

Julie?

She broke in - attacked me!

You take one step closer!

What's in the flask?

Acid.

It's nasty stuff.

If I throw it in your face, it'll burn right through.

What you doing here?

I needed to speak to Mrs Ramsey.

She's a magistrate - but you knew that.

Are you alone?

Yeah.

Good. Um...

Give us your radio - turn it off.

Go on.

And your mobile.

OK, OK.

When do they expect you back?

Not for at least another hour or so.

Plenty of time to get this sorted out.

Are you OK, Mrs Ramsey?

Of course I'm not all right!

-You're not injured?

-No.

-Don't need medical attention?

-No.

Julie, why are you doing this?

COMPUTER GAME BLARES

Oh, no! Late!

Why are you doing this to me?

Ask him. He knows.

You obviously know her.

Is she a criminal?

No.

Not yet.

Is that what you think?

I was up in front of you for some parking fine or something?!

Look, I see hundreds of cases every year...

Does the name Alison Daniels mean anything to you?

My daughter.

OK.

What about...

Karl Hines?

HE PANTS

Hi!

Are you all right?

Yeah, I jogged from the bus stop.

-Haskey?

-Yo!

Yes, your table's ready.

These shoes are killing me.

Well, wear trainers, like me.

Yeah, that'd really go with the outfit.

It looks nice - but what's the point if you can't walk?

You'll have to excuse her. She's got her training heels on.

Oh, stop it!

Hey! How are you doing?

Oh, thanks very much.

After you.

-SHE CHUCKLES

-Yeah.

Thank you.

Lift me slowly.

Please do it slowly...and gently.

Oh...thank you.

Julie, listen...

Don't try and talk me out of this!

What is your alternative?

If you do do this, how does that help Alison?

How does that make anything better?

He was beating her up, you know that.

I told her to go to the police. That's how I know Sergeant Hollins.

Alison wanted justice,

but whatever he did to her they wouldn't lock him up,

so she dropped the charges.

And I guess she forgave him, and he said he was sorry,

he'd never do it again and she went straight back to him, didn't she?

Well, this time it was different.

This time she went through with it. It was GBH.

She'd broken her ribs,

and we thought, "Finally, he's going to be locked up."

But you - you gave him bail!

Julie, calm down.

Alison worked at the council.

Works for the Council.

And Hines waited for her to finish work

and he attacked her in the car park.

He left her for dead. She's in a coma.

Where is Mr Hines now?

In custody.

He has been charged with attempted murder.

He's locked up - but it's too late for my little girl.

Hang on... and you blame me for this?

It's your fault!

You let him out so he could murder her!

If I could get my hands on Karl, I'd break every bone in his body.

I'd rip his throat out!

But I can't.

So you'll have to do instead.

I'm sorry I was late...

You weren't - you were right on time. I was early.

It's just that I got to this new level on my game.

Oh, I love computer games.

Really? Which ones?

Angry Birds...

Flappy Birds - all the birds.

You do know they're two completely different games, right?

Yeah, I mean, I like playing both of them.

On my computer.

You don't know anything about games, do you?

OK! You got me.

No, I don't know anything about computer games.

You know, that's cos I have a life!

Come on, Julie. What are you going to do?

Are you really going to maim her? Then when I try and stop you,

you're going to throw acid in my face as well?

Because if you do that, you'll go to prison for a very long time.

You sit down there.

OK.

I've got nothing to lose.

What about your husband?

Died three years ago. Now I've lost Alison as well.

-No, you haven't.

-As good as!

No. She can pull through and make a full recovery.

People do, and I'm speaking from experience.

My wife, Karen, had a head injury, went into a coma.

We thought we'd never get her back but we did.

You haven't given up on Alison, I know you haven't,

because I know you go and see her every day

and I know that you talk to her, you read to her,

you play her music.

It doesn't do any good! She's never going to get better.

You don't know that! She has still got every chance.

And when she does wake up, she's going to need you more than ever.

She's going to need you to help her get through the trial.

You can't help her if you're in prison.

You haven't harmed Mrs Ramsey.

And you don't have to.

So why don't you just give me the flask and let her go?

No. I can't.

This is just what Karl used to do, isn't it?

Use threats, intimidation, violence...

..but you're better than Karl.

I know you are.

This menu is a disgrace.

I don't know. I think it looks pretty good.

I'm not talking about the food. "Mushrooms" with an apostrophe!

I hadn't noticed. Does it matter?

Yeah. Details matter. You can't just stick apostrophes in willy-nilly.

I know where I'd like to stick them.

George Bernard Shaw once said that all apostrophes should be banned.

-Good for him, I say.

-George Bernard Shaw(!)

-Yes, the Irish playwright.

-I don't think he was Irish.

I think he was, along with Samuel Beckett

and James Joyce and Yeats and Brian Friel and Seamus Heaney

and Edna O'Brien. All the best writers come from Ireland.

Not that you're biased, or anything.

I just mean that we produce more than shamrock mugs

-and peat and Riverdance!

-Would you like a bit more time?

Ah, no, no, no. We're ready to order.

I'm going to presume you're going to have your national dish.

Do you do, like, a big bowl of potatoes?

You see, all this haute cuisine

is lost on a simple Irish peasant like myself, so it is(!)

Hey! What are you doing?

You stay there!

Don't make a move!

I should tie you up, stop you from doing anything stupid.

-You, use your handcuffs.

-No, No.

There's no need for that

because Mrs Ramsey is not going to do anything else stupid. Are you?

And I'm not going to rush you, so let's just all...calm down.

I don't want anything with garlic in it

so I'm going to have the mixed olives for starter and the...

Oh... It all looks really lovely.

That's fine. Take your time.

Sir?

I'm going to go for the garlic bread for starters, no salad,

and then for main, I'm going to go for the beef GEN-occhi.

You mean the NEE-occhi, sir?

Details matter.

Yeah. That. And another pint, please.

Well, if you're going to have the garlic bread

then I'll have the garlic mushrooms and the spaghetti meatballs

-and a large glass of merlot. Thank you.

-Thank you.

Garlic mushrooms? Are you sure?

They might come with a side of apostrophe?

-You're such an old fogey!

-No, I'm not.

OK, a young fogey, then.

-I'm not any kind of fogey.

-You're dangerously close.

-I was just...

-Being pedantic.

-Making conversation.

I apologise. Apostrophes are now on the banned subjects list, I promise.

OK.

Tell me about your childhood.

-Why? Do you think I need therapy?

-Probably no more than I do.

All right. Well, rather boringly, it wasn't easy.

I don't think my parents really understood me.

Hmph! Must've been so hard for them, having a genius for a child(!)

Oh, come on, Haskey, you're a sarcastic git.

Don't dish it out if you can't take it.

All right. Well, I was closer to my aunt.

We really got each other.

She taught me a lot about life.

Was that Aunt Sheila with the parkin recipe?

Yeah, yeah. The one you discovered on Mates Reconnected.

Was she sarcastic too?

Oh, man she was the very queen of the sarcasm.

She'd have loved you. How about yours?

Well, it was big, so it was noisy and very chaotic.

But it was a lot of fun,

except for when, of course, my dad and his...troubles.

-So...

-Wow.

I didn't know that. Your dad was a part of that?

-What?

-I didn't know your dad was involved in the Troubles.

He was charged with GBH!

Yes, and that's the important word. He wasn't convicted.

And like anyone else, Mr Hines is innocent until proven guilty.

But you knew he'd done it. What proof do you need?

I have to take everything into consideration.

I have to look at all of the factors,

and I genuinely didn't think this would happen.

-But you knew he'd done it!

-No.

I knew what he had been accused of, and there's the difference.

Alison went to the police because she'd thought she'd get justice,

she thought she'd be protected. We both did.

Now I wish I'd never made her go, because all of you -

police, lawyers, magistrates -

none of you give a toss.

That's not true.

Oh, you did your best, I'll give you that.

Not just me.

The domestic violence unit, everyone, we all tried.

But you all failed!

And so someone has to pay.

You think my dad is a terrorist?

No. No!

-I assumed...

-You assumed!

My dad went to prison for fraud.

I told you that.

But no, us Irish, it has to be bombs or gun-running, or something.

I'm sorry! I misunderstood.

I absolutely do not think that your dad is a terrorist.

Good!

I'm sorry. I can't do this.

-I can't do this.

-No, no, please, please, please. Please, don't go.

Look, please.

I don't exactly know what I'm doing here.

I haven't had much experience at this.

Please sit down.

The thing is, you sit in your house

with your games and your gadgets,

trying to be cleverer than everyone else, banging on about apostrophes.

That's your life.

It has its moments.

Like what?!

Getting a letter published in the paper telling them off

for using "hopefully" or "disinterested"

in the wrong context?

Is that all you want? Because there's a world out there!

Yeah, I know there is.

Don't you ever just want to be a participant and not a commentator?

Not really, but I could try.

Look, Niamh, if all I were interested in were computer games

and pedantry, do you really think I'd be sat having dinner with you?

True.

How's about I get our really charming waiter

to bring you another glass of red?

I think I'm going to need it.

Garcon!

You've made your point very forcefully,

and I absolutely hear everything you're saying

and I can promise you, lessons have been learned.

That's what they always say when the woman's been murdered.

What happened to your daughter shouldn't happen to anyone,

-but it does take two...

-What?!

Karl broke Alison's arm once.

Do you want to know why?

Because she brought home medium-sliced bread instead of thick.

Do you think she deserved THAT?

Course not. But women can be very controlling.

They nag and manipulate.

One time, when she was pregnant,

he kicked her in the stomach till she miscarried.

He burned her.

He kicked her and punched her God knows how many times.

Look, if it was that bad, why didn't she leave him?

She was terrified of him, he controlled her.

Oh, there's always an excuse with these women.

-Really, it's quite pathetic!

-Shut up!

-No!

-Agh!

-Move away!

-It was water.

7244 to Control. I need an ambulance urgently, 78 Galway Avenue.

No, you won't.

It was water.

It was just fizzy water.

I wanted you to know what it was like...

to be terrified, begging.

I wanted you to know what it was like for her.

Maybe I'm being oversensitive,

but I was surprised when I came over here

at the amount of lazy cliches people throw at you,

like leprechauns, potatoes and bombs.

I mean, seriously?

I hope you know what I mean, though.

What about you? You're one of Thatcher's children.

Yeah, I suppose I am.

She never acknowledged me. Maggie never called.

And now she never will, because Maggie's gone!

Whoa! Spillage.

SHE SHRIEKS

Oh, God!

I...I am so sorry. Let me, er...

You're making it worse!

I have to go and clean myself up.

I'm...I'm so sorry.

I made an error of judgment.

And I have to live with that.

We all do.

Look,

I don't want to bring charges. No real harm has been done.

That's not entirely your decision.

She held me hostage as well. She'll be cautioned at least.

She should be with her daughter.

If you want my advice, sir...

I don't.

All right.

You're doing so well on your own(!)

They brought me another one?

He said it was on the house.

Look, I'm sorry, but I can't sit here like this.

Can we just call it a night, please?

Yes, sure. I'll get the bill.

I'm going to pay to get your dress dry-cleaned.

I think it's past all hope, to be honest.

Mummy's back.

And I'm going to stay with you.

We can call you a cab.

That'd be brilliant. Thank you.

You've made a mistake. We didn't order two garlic breads with cheese.

Oh.

So I can sit here and look foolish for a bit longer. Thank you so much.

I'm so sorry, Niamh.

Well, I've been on worse dates.

-Really?!

-Yeah.

One lad kept watching porn on his phone.

Said he was a sex addict and couldn't help it.

Then there was a lovely gay fella who thought that I would turn him.

-What's wrong?

-Oh, no. Erm...

I was in such a rush I've left my wallet at home.

I've not got a penny on me.

Is there any way that... you could pay?

No problem. I thought we'd go Dutch anyway.

I wouldn't expect you to treat me. It's fine.

OK...

Not that one. This one.

I'll pay you back as soon as we get into work in the morning.

Don't worry about it.

Would you like another drink, madam?

Er, no, I'm fine.

-There we go.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

Y'know, seeing as we are waiting, we could always...

-I'm not hungry.

-No.

Did you, erm, leave a tip?

Your cab's outside.

Thank you. I'm out of here.

Niamh!

When I arrived tonight and I saw you waiting at the bar,

you looked so beautiful.

I couldn't believe that you were on a date with me.

This was the start of the evening.

You look stunning. Just obviously more so without the pasta.

I'll see you tomorrow, OK?

Mind how you go in those stilts.

..shoes!

Don't ask.

There's nothing to worry about.

We just need to continue with the paracetamol.

And that's fine on top of what they give him?

On top of what who give him?

What exactly are the symptoms you've been experiencing?

Some memory loss, really.

I'm going to wait out here, babe.

He doesn't need all of us in there looking at his tackle.

I thought you were avoiding me.

Seriously? I thought you were avoiding me.