The Mad Woman in the Attic Doctors

SHE SIGHS AND SNORTS

Do you ever have one of those days

when you get a tune stuck in your head and you can't worm it out?

I just can't get past the first line.

ECHOEY: "Standing on the door of the Pink Flamingo, crying in the rain."

Do you know it?

Rude!

KAREN LAUGHS

Where did you get that...?

Can anyone else see that?

Karen, perfect timing. Do you want a coffee?

THEY SPEAK BACKWARDS

Oh, you must tell me where you got that bag.

I've got a fantastic pair of shoes that would go right with that.

That's not me!

THEY SPEAK BACKWARDS

We're really sorry you had to go away.

THEY SPEAK BACKWARDS No, no! Hello?

This is me.

MUSIC PLAYS

What are you doing? Stop that!

I'm going to keep shouting until you stop it. Eh!

I'm...I'm going to keep...I'm going to keep going.

# Standing in the door of the Pink Flamingo

# Crying in the... #

Rain...

Wha...?

What time is it?

Early.

Karen, sending flowers to a...

someone, is that a good idea?

Or will it bring a post-feminist wrath down on me?

-What?

-Is one of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, you know, a florist?

I haven't got a clue what you're banging on about.

Oh, what's wrong with you?

I don't see that there has to be anything wrong.

-Actually...

-Right. Chocolates it is. Mr Crossly? Come on down.

Hello there, stranger.

Hello, neighbour. It's been a while, hasn't it?

My summer party in July.

You've gone criminally low key on us since then, haven't you?

What do you mean?

Well, you got well, came home, at last, came to my party,

we had a good catch-up and then... Bang! Nothing.

No, no, no. You are joking!

Oh, I thought I didn't see you leave after your appointment.

Oh, no.

Dr Clay's had to give me some bad news.

He thinks tea would be a good idea.

So...

It's come back.

Like it had never been away.

I'm so sorry, Carol.

What's going to happen?

Options are being explored.

We can talk about that another time.

Oh! Your necklace.

SHE LAUGHS Is it?

You gave it to me.

Did I? I did.

I didn't think you'd recognised it. It was...

You told me that...that it was your lucky necklace

and that you insisted that I take it.

Maybe...

Maybe if you'd kept it...

..you wouldn't have had your accident.

-No, you keep it.

-No.

I think...

Much as I'm grateful for small, kind gestures...

..they're not much use right now.

I don't remember owning this, let alone giving it away.

Things will keep coming back to you bit by bit, I expect.

-Really?

-Hm.

-I mean, they have done a bit.

I keep having these vivid dreams.

Erm, like stuff's trying to get through. Do you ever get that?

Hm. There is a theory that dreams are the way our subconscious

try to resolve conflicts we've had in, you know, our waking life.

Hm.

Promise you won't tell anyone?

Sometimes I wonder which Karen I am.

What, there's more than one of you?

Run for the hills, Jimmi, she's pod people!

What do you mean, Karen?

Who I was before the accident, who I became

and sometimes I wonder who people see when they see me. I mean...

I thought it would just be about filling in the blanks

and getting on with my life, but it's not.

Is there more to it or is this who I am now?

Hm.

Can we put Humpty back together again?

That's an interesting challenge. One which I accept.

Come with me, young lady.

SHOUTS: Rob!

Oh, must've gone out. Ooh!

So, I don't know.

You...you really think this is going to help, me talking to myself?

It's about making peace with the other Karens.

Like, closure?

My complete and utter contempt for that word aside...

yes. Think of it as like a letter to yourself.

Come on.

Grown-up Karen, she's going to give some advice to the teenage one.

No, but I'm the teenage one, sort of. I mean, that's what I'm saying!

Or she is, I don't...

Ah... Anyway, she came back. I'm being haunted by her.

Hm...

It's like your past isn't in a straight line anymore.

It's like your mind has gone into shuffle mode.

And this is going to help with that?

It's what I do. You write things down,

stops them buzzing around your head.

What?

Well, go on, say something.

Say anything.

Give me a list of things you want for Christmas,

tell me the rules of Fight Club.

If you're unsure who you are, then talk to the future you.

Come on!

This never used to be a problem before.

Most days, I couldn't get you to shut up.

Cue...

Gobby Hollins.

Not with you earwigging. Go and make some coffee or something.

Hello, me.

SHE LAUGHS NERVIOUSLY

This is me trying to work out which ME you are.

Or you're going to turn out to be.

Oh...

So, erm, it's been almost a year since the brain inj...

You had everything, I know that.

Rob and Jack and Immie and this house and...

..a career and workmates who cared.

And you had it taken away.

And I took it.

Hmph!

I'm like the, erm, second wife.

I replaced you.

The brassy blonde who lured your husband away.

And...

..that's not fair.

But...

..you have something...

..that I don't.

You've got a part in all this and this.

See this is, erm...this is closed off and...

It's...it's...it's a room, and I can't get inside!

Everybody...everybody knows who I am except me,

and I'm pig sick of it!

SHE SIGHS M...memories keep creeping in.

I don't know what they mean.

"Standing in the door of the Pink Flamingo..."

I don't... Oh, shut up!

Hi, Immie.

Yeah, I've just been to the shop and they don't stock them anymore

and they don't know anyone who does.

Don't know what to do now.

Do you reckon?

Well, I could try, I suppose.

All right. Thanks, love. Bye.

Yes, you lost what it meant to be a wife and a mother and a grown-up.

But you can't resent me for finding all that again,

cos no-one can live on a diet of stone-washed jeans

and Duran-flaming-Duran.

You should stay gone.

And...

..you've got to believe...

..that you're better for all of this.

Lessons learned.

You. Are. Fine.

And once you can get that...that bloody song out of your head,

then that's that, you know?

You've solved it. You...

you've put an end to it. No more weird dreams.

The end.

All good? Did you sort them out?

"Standing in the door of the Pink Flamingo, crying in the rain."

Wow! Well, I don't think I've met this personality yet.

Am I finally getting to speak to the demon inside of Karen?

Do you know the song that starts like that?

-Hm. No idea.

-Oh, come on, you're a walking Trivial Pursuit game!

All right, well, let's consult the electronic Ouija board.

I've got to figure out why I keep dreaming about it,

why it's stuck in my head.

-Ah, cool. Who's the 2 Tone fan?

-Rob.

I just need the song title.

Nearly there.

MOBILE RINGS

Hi, love. Busy day?

'Erm, are these all our records in the living room?'

Are you at home?

Never mind that. Have we got any more?

'What? Erm, I don't know.'

Yes. Yeah, come to think of it,

I think I put a box of oldies in the attic.

What are you doing? What are you looking for?

Erm, oh, it's a pink flamingo and someone crying in the rain.

Look, I've got to go. I'll talk to you later, bye.

Yeah, got it.

Soft Cell - Say Hello, Wave Goodbye.

Opening lyrics are "Standing in the door of the Pink Flamingo,

"crying in the rain."

"It was a kind of so-so love

"and I'm going to make sure it never happens again."

Yes!

MUSIC PLAYS

What are you doing here?

This. This is the Rolls-Royce of 2 Tone collections.

I salute you, rude boy.

Thank you.

Where's Karen?

Upstairs.

Has she been in here?

Yep.

Did she notice anything?

Like what?

Like that broken mug.

She didn't mention it.

It wasn't me.

I know.

LOUD THUD

Yes! Get in!

-Karen?

-You were right. There's a whole box of me up here.

What are you doing? What...what is this about?

This song, Say Hello, Wave Goodbye, it means something. Do you know what?

What?

No, I'm asking. Do you know what it means?

-Why don't you come down, love?

-Do you know?

Did it matter to the old me? Should it only matter to her?

MUSIC: Say Hello, Wave Goodbye by Soft Cell

SHE SIGHS

This song means something. What was it?

I don't know, love.

Is it you? Is it nothing to do with me? Is it you?

Is it something that you did that I...I want to forget?

Is there a woman? Another woman?

Stop this.

I don't know why it matters. Maybe it doesn't.

Maybe it's...it's just a song. And you love the music.

It's in my head night and day,

and I'm sure that it meant something to the first Karen.

The one you loved all those years and who isn't here anymore.

Yes, she is!

She's right here now, and I'm looking at her.

And I love her in the same way that I always did.

SONG ABRUPTLY STOPS

-Oh, love, come here.

-No. You can't fix this with a hug.

It's best to give her some space.

What have you done to her?

You know, the clueless isn't a good look for a copper.

Rob, she's lost whole parts of her life,

things that she will never ever get back,

but she keeps getting these little glimpses of it.

Take a look at this one song today

has almost pushed her over the edge.

It can't be easy.

No, easy is not a word I'd use for any of this.

And then you hear how she keeps describing herself.

"The old Karen", that's what she keeps saying.

I think she feels threatened.

Is she in competition for your love?

Who with?

The first Karen.

The first Mrs Hollins.

I mean, in a way, she's now your second wife,

and all that that implies.

I thought we'd gone through all of this,

but no, here we are,

back to '80s music and Karen hating me all over again.

It's like being in a flaming loop.

Be rude not to.

Karen?

Oh, hello.

Are you OK?

Just thought I'd crack on with a bit of spring planting.

I bought out the whole garden centre.

This is going to be all irises, tulips, daffodils.

-A great swathe of them.

-Oh, that'll be nice.

Nice?

I anticipate nothing less than spectacular!

-Nothing like with planning ahead.

-No, nothing.

-Do you want a hand?

-No, I'll manage.

It's been a...it's been a bit of a difficult year

-for us both, hasn't it?

-Yeah.

Of all the years that I wish I could remember,

this is the one I want to forget.

Trouble is everybody's been talking in terms of getting back to normal

without knowing, in this case, what normal is.

It's not a word I would use for my marriage.

I mean, what is normal?

Overrated.

See, I quite liked the teenage Karen.

At first. After that, she became intensely irritating.

I never knew that teenage version...until now.

Hm.

It was like unprocessed Karen -

all the stubbornness and resilience, but none of the understanding.

Like it was some kind of substitute.

Like an...I Can't Believe It's Not Karen.

THEY LAUGH

You know, but being stubborn is what got her through.

If I could just understand why this song is so important.

Because you give it importance.

Which is understandable.

We often try and find meaning in things

that aren't really significant.

But how do I know if it is or it isn't.

Well, trying to find rhyme and reason in why things happen

is often a sure way to add to our frustration, not solve it. And...

Where do you stop?

I don't know.

I'm sorry, Carol, this must seem so trivial to you.

Rubbish.

You are trying to be happy is all you're saying.

And...to find happiness is a very serious thing.

And it's NOT trivial.

But...there's just so much getting in the way.

And if you could remember just this one thing,

would all the rest will fall into place? Has it ever occurred to you

that you forgot what this song meant for good reason?

-Like what?

-Like certain memories fade.

They just get away from us in the fullness of life.

You might not have forgotten this song because of the accident.

I just...want to be sure.

You can fret over it having some big meaning

or you can decide that that tape went into the attic for good reason.

You can make your peace.

You can...

look forward to making new memories while you can.

Life is good.

Make what you do, from now on,

all the more vivid.

-SOBBING:

-Because sometimes that's all we can do.

That and plant bulbs.

THEY LAUGH

I think I'd better get ho...

Yes, I think so.

Thank you. Thank you.

# I never knew you

# You never knew me

# Say hello, goodbye... #

No. You have to go.

# I'll find someone that's not going cheap

# In the sales. #

I remember!

I remember!

SHOUTS: Carol!

I've remembered!

And...?

Me and my best mate, Maggie, in a pub,

and she'd just been stood up by a bloke outside the Pictures.

And this song came on the juke box, and we laughed because...

she'd gone all done up and the rain had ruined her hair

and her make-up. And she looked...she looked a bit tarty like the girl

in the song, and... So, halle-flaming-lujah,

it means something.

But it's got absolutely nothing to do with anything.

-What does that mean?

-Sometimes it means nothing!

Memories aren't all they're cracked up to be.

THEY LAUGH AND SHOUT

Oh! Hey, do you know? I know what I've got to do.

You haven't got a cardboard box I could...?

-Yeah?

-Come on.

Are you really going to try and get away without telling her?

I don't think I can, can I?

Oh, dear.

Can't get anything right.

It's all my fault.

Make one mistake and the whole world turns upside down.

True.

Although, it is just a mug.

No, I didn't mean the...

You're going to do that once too often one day.

Do what?

Come on, Rob. You've seen her through this

because you're made of stronger stuff.

Am I?

Really?

I don't know.

You know, every day since Karen moved back in,

every morning I get up,

I have to check her pillow for blood.

I go back to that day it happened again and again.

Is...is that strong?

No. I...

I think it's...

..stupid and messed-up to do it over and over again,

but I can't help it.

It sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

Does it? Cos I think it's like picking at a scab.

You do that to make sense of things

because you're human, and that's what humans do -

we make sense of things.

So, you keep checking that pillow.

It will pass.

My word of honour, it will pass.

DOOR OPENS

Battle stations.

You had me worried. Where've you been?

How do you get this thing out?

-Thank you.

-What were you doing?

Give it a moment.

Ah, yes, about that...

I didn't deserve it.

Immie can buy me another one when I do.

Ah! Thank you.

Do you want to tell me what's going on?

It's got to be done.

For both our sakes.

No more thinking that there's things not said between us.

-Karen...

-No, it's got to be about

who I am now, not who I was.

I'm done.

No more crying, no more feeling beaten.

OK?

OK?

OK.

Anything you say.

You know, I think I understand it now.

What makes people work at making things last.

And you got that from watching me dig?

No, from seeing the two of you properly back together.

Be honest.

Do you think he loves me

or what he remembers of me from before?

I think that's the difference between you.

You lost the ability to filter your experiences.

He doesn't need to remember, not that anybody remembers everything.

He just knows he loves you, without doubt.

-Really?

-Hey, Hollins, you said no more tears.

He's just grateful that you've both made it through it.

I think I'm the lucky one

because I got to fall in love with him all over again.

Like it was the first time.

Here you go.

There were some biscuits, but...

Are you sure you know what your doing?

Learning to let things go

is just as important as trying to get them back.

Scary, but...

Very well said.

You could treat it like a time capsule, you know?

Put a marker on the spot.

Yeah. We'll dig it up in 20, 30 years' time.

No.

No.

No going back.

It's finished.

Can we stop talking about cars, please?

I don't even want to buy a new car.

I just said it to cheer Mrs T up.

You think that you're a vampire?

Why would I do that? Share my weakness with everybody?

There's nothing like that going on.

What? So she's one of your minions, then?

A friend.

With common...interests.