Speaking Up Doctors

Just stay in the car. I'm going to be two seconds.

You're up early.

Yeah, I'm taking Alia swimming practice before school.

I can't find my keys. I had them a second ago.

-Can I help?

-No, it's fine. I can find my own things.

I'm sure you can.

Are these they?

Yeah, thanks.

-Do you want to talk?

-No!

-You seem very upset.

-Look, I've got to get going.

You've got that calendar thing today, haven't you?

-Oh, yeah.

-So good luck with that. I'll...

see you later.

Hi, I'm just calling to check my reservation

as nobody's got back to me.

It's Lee. L, double E.

Ooh, is this the mystery date?

For four people.

You're brave!

Great, we'll be there. Thanks.

So, it's a blind date?

Who's the other one?

That's for me to know and for you not to find out.

SID COUGHS

Oh, that's not hard to guess.

What's wrong with you?

Nothing. Just got a bit of a frog in my throat.

He doesn't sound good.

He's fine.

You are, aren't you?

Yeah. I'm fine.

I'm just saying, there's a lot of nasty things about.

Not tonight, there isn't.

REGAL CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

I'm sorry. I'm just not feeling it,

as they say in show business.

Try the speeches again.

It just doesn't work.

I've got ten minutes before I have to pack all this up.

-Can I take five just to gather myself?

-There is no five!

-I've got appointments all morning, then I've got to go to the printers.

-I feel like a big lump!

-This is a calendar shoot, it's not a GQ style section.

-It's a printed document

-that I'm going to have to live with for 12 months.

-Not at this rate!

Because, Shak, it's a bit out of the blue.

Right, where's your sister going to stay?

Yeah, OK, fine.

I do get it. You want a bit of you-time.

Fine. What about all your stuff?

Right, well, go home, pack your bag...

Look, let me call you later, OK? Hey,

now please get into class now.

Hey, how did the shoot go?

It didn't.

Well, it did,

but it didn't.

Why?

SID COUGHS

KNOCK ON DOOR

Oh, come on, Sid, man up.

You're going to bail on me, aren't you?

Would it be a problem if I did?

What do you think?

Chelsea works with both Tom and Brittany.

Fine. OK.

Sorry. It's just I haven't been on a date for ages

and I just think if you were there, well...

Oh, I don't know, just...

Yeah. It'll be fine.

I'm not really sick or anything. I'm just a bit tired, that's all.

Are you sure? Because if you're not, I'll just cancel it and...

..go on a date another day.

No, I just need to wake myself up a bit, that's all.

HE COUGHS

-Better?

-Mm-hm.

-KNOCK ON DOOR

-Come in.

Hey.

I've got some good news and some bad news.

The kids are having a sleepover, so that's the good news.

And the bad news?

We need to stay a few more days.

Of course! You don't need to ask.

I'm going to talk to Shak, make sure he's more sociable.

No, it's fine. He probably thinks I'm an old fogey.

No.

Jimmi told me about the shoot.

How very unprofessional!

I thought you were looking forward to it.

That costume, it was perfect.

Is that how you see me? As a pompous old politician?

No.

He wasn't pompous.

You could have been George Clooney if you wanted. That's what I said.

If that's not good enough for you, fine.

Anyway,

Winston Churchill was and is a hero.

-It's a bit frosty outside.

-HE COUGHS

Sounds like you're coming down with something.

I hope not!

How can I help you?

Well, it's another flare-up.

I thought we had this under control.

It worked for a little while, but...

Which cream were we...?

Which cream?

We did the emollients, vornox-something...

-Vornorex.

-Then this was the cream with the steroid in...

It should have slowed things down.

I was clear for a week. Maybe two?

It's hard to say. I've been so wound up.

Wound up?

My neighbours...

Are you sure you want to hear?

It's because I'm on my own now, I'm sure,

but they don't think I need to use my driveway.

They've got three cars and I've got none so they feel they're entitled.

That's not right.

I've put my bins in the way, but they just move them on to my lawn.

-The police. Have you?

-HE COUGHS

Called? I tried, but apparently it's a "civil matter"

so basically I'm on my own.

When did this start?

About nine or ten months ago.

The same time as your psoriasis. The stress is probably linked.

I did try telling you that.

It's definitely psoriasis.

Have you ever had anything like this before?

When I was a child, but nothing since.

Any lifestyle changes? Diet?

Cleaning products?

No. But I've had problems with my neighbours.

Neighbours! Don't get me started!

-You live in a house, though, don't you?

-Yes, but they're...

I used to live in a flat, with, like, no soundproofing whatsoever.

-I could hear when the neighbours coughed, when they switched the kettle on.

-Actually...

And their bathroom was right above my bedroom. I heard everything.

Noise isn't the problem.

Wednesdays are curry nights at the local pub. Oh, my goodness!

It took me a while to work that one out!

-It's all right.

-No, I should have...

Listened?

There's not much you could have done, even if you had.

Unless someone camps outside my driveway,

they'll still think they can walk all over me.

Have you not got any family...?

A son in London, but I don't want to call him. It's too embarrassing.

The old me wouldn't have put up with this, I promise you!

But this doesn't give you much confidence.

At least we know what's triggering it.

-HE COUGHS

-Your voice is getting worse.

I'm going to rest it.

OK. If we can't remove the source of the stress, we can at least manage it.

Combine some stress relief with some phototherapy.

You really think it can help?

Yeah, more than.

We're going to solve this.

Sorry!

KAREN CLEARS HER THROAT

What, no sugar!

Why did someone not say?

Because that'd mean they'd have to communicate

and that's much too difficult.

I hope you're not talking about me!

No! Not at all.

Well, I'm just going to let you know, I've got

a 12.30 appointment and then I might...

I might go to the costume shop.

For Dr Carter? I heard about it this morning.

-Heard what?

-He's got issues with his persona.

What? He'd make a perfect Winston!

Oh, please, don't even try telling him that!

Dr Carter is very sensitive.

He needs to express his creative side.

I think that's what we all thought he was doing.

I was very surprised that he chose to be a politician.

For one thing, he is very romantic.

We all know that he loves the opera.

Dr Carter loves the drama, the excitement.

He is very sensitive, isn't he? Poor Heston!

Thank you, Mrs Tembe.

My pleasure. I am glad I could be of some help.

What, no milk?!

CRASH

Are you OK?

My car!

I think you've broken a headlight.

Do you know what happened?

I must have got distracted.

That's usually the way!

I need to...

Why don't you just take a second and check you're all right?

I'm fine!

I just came to pick up a prescription for my mother!

OK, we can get that sorted.

We've got all these doctors here. Why don't we go and use them?

Yeah?

OK.

Do you want to lock it?

-What's your name?

-Annette.

-I'm Rhuma. Come on.

It doesn't look too bad.

The headlight is broken.

I can see that.

Is everything all right?

Absolutely. We just wanted to be on the safe side.

Are there any doctors free?

Dr Vere is on drop-in today, He is very busy.

No, he's done them all!

I'll let him know you're here.

Why don't we go and sit down?

PHONE RINGS

Hello.

Nice to speak to you finally!

You've got the address OK and everything?

It's no problem.

If you're that grateful, you can buy me the first cocktail, if you like!

Yeah, I'm really looking forward to meeting you, too.

Oh, yeah, and Brittany of course.

Sid?

Yeah, he's still coming.

Great. We'll see you both at 7.30.

Bye.

-CROAKILY:

-Are you... Sorry. Are you in any pain?

No. It was just a silly mistake.

You're lucky it only happened in a car park.

You sound like I did last week.

I ended up with laryngitis.

Maybe I'll be lucky, then!

That's what my dad said.

So has he caught it too!

No, he told me to rest so I didn't go and see him.

Then...

Then he had a heart attack!

It's his funeral today.

I'm so...

-I'm sorry.

-Then I found this.

Janie's not my mum.

I checked his e-mails. There were lots.

He was having an affair!

Are you sure?

I'm sure. It was going on for five years.

He lied to me and to Mum.

Pretending they were happy.

Five years...

What?

Is it possible that she...

She couldn't have known. She'd have told me!

Wouldn't she?

I couldn't handle it if they were both lying.

That would be hard.

Either way, I should talk to her about it, shouldn't I?

Today?

No, no...

Later?

If it was you?

Then I'd be asking myself - who would it help?

I thought we had drop-ins today?

We do, but Sid is absolutely banging through them.

Come again?

Whatever he's doing, we should bottle it!

Mrs Carey, please?

Um, I was here earlier. I was just wondering

-if I could see Dr Vere again?

-Sorry. He's with a patient.

But I could make you an...

No, it's all right. It's just that I've bought these for him.

I'd normally leave some rum, but he can't have that while he's working, can he?

Oh, no, I think the lid's come loose.

-Is there somewhere I could wash?

-The ladies' is just down there.

Thank you.

What's all this?

A patient has just bought them in for Sid.

I think it's for his throat.

He promised me he was fine!

He can't help getting sick!

Yeah, well, he made a commitment.

You don't promise someone you're going to back them,

then start whingeing to your patients, do you?

What's going on? I didn't buy those for you!

-I never said you did.

-We'll make sure that he gets them.

I think I'll make sure. Excuse me.

It's fine. I can make sure he gets them.

You said that he was whining, so...

I don't want them for myself.

Hey, will you pack it in?

Sorry, he doesn't need two stroppy women fighting over him!

Stroppy!

It's all right. I will get them.

Stroppy?

I would have made sure he got them.

It's all right! I trust you.

You really thought I was stroppy?

Surprise!

You wanted exciting. This is exciting.

Sorry. I don't actually remember...

You know what a surprise is, don't you?

Thank you.

OK, right, there wasn't a lot of choice,

but at least it's not Churchill.

What is it?

Right, we're set up, but we don't have much time.

I don't understand.

You're October. I was thinking laterally. Halloween!

You're a mummy. Come on, are we going to do this or not?

Are you sure about the Tabasco?

Shhh - keep resting your voice.

You can add lemon too,

but personally I think a bit of spice works better.

It'll work, I promise. Trust me - when I wreck my voice...

Talking of voices, did I tell you about his?

Yes, three times.

Yeah, but he just sounds so gorgeous.

And he's so fit in his photo.

You didn't get her photo.

Ssh, what did I say?

HE GASPS

You're supposed to gargle it, not drink it!

Come on!

It'll work, I promise.

I'll make you a hot toddy after.

That's it. Now gargle.

MUSIC: Monster Mash by Bobby "Boris" Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers

-Rrrghhh!

-Now give me more energy.

Arrgghhh!

-Come and catch me, then!

-Rrrrggghhh!

That's better. That's much better.

-Hold it. You're in the shot.

-Sorry.

-Arrrggghhhh!

-Hold it. Hold that for me!

Oh, come on!

I'm talking to you!

Don't let me get stroppy!

What are you doing?

What does it look like?

I'll just make some tea, shall I?

Mum?

There's something I need to tell you.

I left your prescription in the car.

I'll just get it, shall I?

-What does he look like?

-I don't know. She's pretty, long curly hair.

You got a photo of her and not him?

-She texted me. He didn't.

-Oh, great!

There they are!

She looks lively.

You can't tell that from just a smile!

He looks cute.

Ta-da! A thank you for putting up with us.

Oh, I didn't realise ...

No, it's nothing. It's just a seafood pasta.

-I can heat it up another time.

-You've gone to so much trouble.

It's nothing.

It looks beautiful.

I hope you're hungry?

Yes!

Let me get some plates.

-How much is that?

-At least let me help.

No! I said I owe you and I keep my promises.

OK, I'll get the next round, then.

OK, but we won't want to be drinking cocktails all night.

Unless you do?

No!

I'm not actually that much of a drinker.

So, you work with Ayesha?

-Yeah. Yeah.

-Sorry, I can't quite hear.

Sorry. I've been talking all day.

Must be an occupational hazard!

Yeah. Oh - our table's ready.

I'm thirsty!

I've already blown it! I said "occupational hazard" like an idiot.

So? There's nothing wrong with that.

Not much of a drinker?

Shut up.

That's a great start, isn't it!

Yeah? Mr Talking All Day! What!

Right, shall I be mother?

You could be Mummy!

I would never have thought of that in a million years!

You know, I really didn't think you were going to go along with it!

There's more to me than a stuffy old politician.

I never said that. Thank you.

-And I'm sorry about this morning. I think I upset you.

-No, you didn't.

You know, these might only be sleazy takeaway prawns,

but I've been looking forward to this all day!

I happen to like my prawns sleazy.

Do you?

So Chelsea tells me you guys are kind of like a double act.

What? No!

We work together and sometimes we go to the cinema together,

but only because we're pathetic.

-We're film buddies.

-Sad!

So what are your top five?

Number One. When Harry Met Sally.

Not you.

Well, they don't know!

Which is yours?

Mine changes all the time.

This week it's Once Upon A Time In America, director's cut.

-I love that!

-Really?

-Yeah, 100%.

I've always been a Disney girl.

Once Upon A Time is a gangster movie.

What about you?

It's probably a stupid question! I mean, how do you choose?

Why did you ask that question?

I was being friendly! Who wants more wine?

Me!

-Sit down! That's my job.

-No.

You bought dinner!

OK! We can both do it.

I'll rinse, and can you can load.

I know how fussy men can be.

Only because women are spatially challenged! Joke!

Actually, Shak's worse than me.

He is trying, you know.

Sometimes he doesn't come across so well.

-It's all right.

-No, it isn't. He could make more of an effort.

It's a generation thing.

Maybe.

Young people seem so fixated.

The digital universe.

A complete dearth of social awareness.

I wouldn't go that far.

I see them in restaurants, staring at their phones!

Is that communication? What does that say about future relationships?

Do young people actually talk to their families?

Mine do!

Yeah, I mean they speak to you and their dad, but...

Er, Heston, can we just change the subject?

Sorry, I didn't meant to rant.

What about you, then? Why haven't you had any kids?

-OK, now I'm sorry.

-No, it's a fair question.

I thought I was a dad once.

There was a boy, Stephen, but...

his mum wasn't entirely honest with me.

That's awful.

I wanted to keep the relationship going, especially with him,

but she didn't want me involved.

I'll just have a coffee.

Me too.

And he will too.

I'll have the pavlova.

I like a bit of fluff.

Oh, Sid, do you want to share the cheesecake?

It's just like that thing we do.

Bit like your film club.

I'm not sure that it is. Anyway, I will have something -

I'll have the chocolate and chilli mousse.

Good choice!

Thanks.

You don't talk very much, unless I'm just babbling?

Good! Because I can do that, you know.

I'm a terrible talker, but you're a good listener.

So what made you decide to become a doctor, anyway?

HOARSELY: Oh, well, I... ever since I...

CLATTERING

Oh, sorry! I'm just really clumsy!

I think it's time for bed!

Me too.

It's been nice spending time with you. I mean proper time.

-Well, hopefully it won't be the last opportunity.

-No way.

I'm going to get the kids off the tablet and out!

You know, for what it's worth, I think you'd have made a great dad.

Thanks.

-Goodnight.

-Goodnight.

You first.

What do you think? They're nice, aren't they?

You don't think they're slightly unusual?

What do you mean?

-Thanks.

-Thank you.

Thanks.

It was really nice meeting you.

And you.

Thanks, again, for arranging this.

No worries.

I enjoyed tonight and you're really nice, I just don't think that we...

Um...

This isn't really me. I'm not usually this manic. I just..

That's just it.

-What?

-You and...

It's pretty obvious something's happening.

What?! No! No. There is nothing happening there! I promise you.

Well, there should be.

You guys haven't taken your eyes off each other.

Here's my number, OK?

I hope you call me!

Are you ready?

Great!

Do you feel faint?

I'm just not very good with blood.

I think ready-made pasta might have been cleaner.

-Not as much fun, though.

-This is great.

Balls.

And icicles to you!

How does it look?

Oh!

-Sexy.

-Sorry?

That is a...substantial piece of equipment.