Martians Doctors

I will keep this brief,

I have no desire to intrude in to your lunchtime.

I have been offered

the position of Assistant Practice Manager

at King's Green medical centre.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

It is all due to Doctor Reid's glowing reference.

I hesitated telling you because I really do not want a fuss.

Is that who that bloke was yesterday?

King's Green is a really impressive practice. Well done, Mrs Tembe.

It is a wonderful opportunity for me.

Well, Mr Harker has allowed me to leave

-without working my week's notice.

-Wow!

You just can't wait to get shot of us, can you?

No. I will be leaving some wonderful friends...

I'm sorry, excuse me.

You must have known about this?

Anthony only told us last night.

And you're happy to just watch her go?

Of course not,

this is a really big step up for her.

What the...?

Grady?!

Go round.

Karen Hollins, unlock the gate! Come on!

# Clowns to the left of me...

# Jokers to the right, here I am...

# Stuck in the middle with you! #

Hasker!

I cannot believe it!

It's wicked good to see you, man, it's been too long.

Oh, the folks....

this is Grady, my brother from another planet.

Ladies.

Where are you from?

Boston, ma'am.

What are you doing here?

Man on a mission, some things can't be done on Skype.

I got a proposal for you.

Al "Yoda" Haskey, slayer of virtual dragons, keeper of the sacred

falling down water,

will you make me the happiest man alive?

Marry me?

Say again?

So I figure nothing fancy, county hall, matching suits...

Go in here.

Mate, what is this all about?

You've got the new marriage equality laws over here.

It'll just make it easy for me to stay here permanent,

you know, I've had enough of the States, I was always happier here.

No, you love America.

You're my best friend.

No-one else comes close.

I want you in my life, and you need me in yours.

Yeah, that's true, but marriage?

I know, I mean I love you, but I'm not in love.

Men are from Mars, men are from Mars, you know me, I'm a

don't-knock-it-til-you've-tried-it kind of Martian.

Sex is overrated in my book.

A marriage of convenience, feel free to get a little on the side

when we're hitched.

You're leaving?

Today?

Why the indecent haste?

An opportunity for advancement has presented itself.

Then we must match it.

Your going is out of the question.

I can't imagine this place without you.

Life depends on change.

I think it is for the best.

Whose best?

I have a lot of things to see to before I go, excuse me.

Time for a reality check.

Marrying you would make me

the luckiest man in the unknown universe.

But, under these circumstances it would be illegal and that would

get me struck off, and I'd lose all my mad scientist privileges.

But I'm going to do everything that is super humanly possible to

make it that you can live here and you can work here.

Al, is this a "dude" moment?

It's been too long. There are not enough Martians around.

Dude!

-Dude!

-Dude!

Jimmi's just told me about Mrs Tembe.

Oh, hello..?

Grady, Niamh. Niamh, Grady.

Niamh Donoghue?

Al must've mentioned his best bud?

I'm three-quarters Irish myself.

Oh, yeah, I could really tell by your accent.

Hello.

OK, that's a very tight grip you have there.

I'm all about the hugs today.

Can I crash at your place?

-I could use a shower, change of clothes.

-Yeah, of course.

The thing is I'm due at the hospital for a meeting,

like five minutes ago and I've got surgery this afternoon.

-I can't, but...?

-Al!

Come on, just let him in, and show him where the kettle is...

Spoiler alert, it's in the kitchen.

You owe me, Donoghue.

-What for?

-Like millions of things.

I can't specifically think of one of those things right now.

Just think of all the embarrassing stories that Grady can tell

-you about me.

-Blackmail stories like you wouldn't believe.

Go on, then.

Dude.

Apart from being an excellent receptionist, Mrs Tembe is

the face of the Mill, the vital link between us and the patients.

Both of which are valid points,

but of which are equally met by Karen and Valerie.

I don't think you appreciate her value to the team.

-Don't I?

-If you did you'd put up more of a fight.

What makes you think I didn't?

No-one is more saddened by this turn of events than I am.

I hardly think...

I can't prevent someone from moving up the promotional ladder.

It would be selfish of us to stand in her way, wouldn't it?

But it's so sudden.

Yes, it is.

So what was he like, then? Haskey the Younger?

I'll get some coffee on the go.

You're pretty at home here.

Well, yeah, given our history...

Great!

When she got there, there was no milk, there was

no bread, there was no coffee, just last night's kung-po chicken

climbing up an overflowing bin.

Can't be easy for him alone.

I was chief cook and washer up back in the day.

Maybe he's had his head down working.

Yeah, doing an X Files marathon more like.

Right, why don't you grab a shower and I'm going to pop out

and get some supplies.

Fine.

I won't be long.

Niamh.

Donoghue.

I think we messed up.

How?

Letting go of Mrs Tembe so easily.

Not you as well?

Come on, listen she was headhunted.

Kudos to her.

This comes from hiring Anthony...

Who we agreed was the best candidate at the time, I can

understand that it must have left Mrs Tembe considering her

future, but it's business.

Maybe we should have done more to keep her?

By doing what?

Creating some sort of false position?

She'd see straight through that for what it was, a consolation prize.

-I know, but...

-Look,

everybody's fond of her, I don't want to see her go either

but you can't clip her wings, you know.

You've got to be happy for her.

PHONE RINGS

How's it going?

The usual, are you with Grady?

He's not answering his phone.

He's in the shower.

Your fridge was like the Mary Celeste, Haskey.

Yeah, well, Saturday's big shop day, isn't it?

Look, can you tell him from me,

-I've done some research online, to him staying here.

-Right.

His best bet option is a UK ancestry visa, his nan

was from Shropshire or somewhere, so he's eligible.

Ah, that would be the three-quarters Irish, wouldn't it?

You looked this up during your meeting?

No, I'm on a fag break.

It was actually really easy to find so I'm surprised that he didn't.

Maybe he's the romantic type.

What's that supposed to mean?

SHE HUMS HERE COMES THE BRIDE

Yes, very funny.

Always the bridesmaid, Haskey.

Thank you.

She'll be out of here in a few hours and that will be it.

Couldn't you have done something?

It's her decision.

Organise a send-off to let her know how much she'll be missed.

Strict instructions, she wanted no fuss.

I hinted about a whip-round

and she said she'd give the money to charity.

She's always thinking of others. Which is why we should

do something for her.

What do you reckon?

Well, a party, obviously.

OK, Mum, if you're sure.

It's short notice, so maybe, Icon?

Call me if you need anything. Bye.

We went to the place that did, like, a tea party, she loved that.

Tea?

Your favourite beverage.

We're not going to be able to get the venue at this late notice,

-but we could match it here.

-Can we?

Hey, I got you something to go with your coffee.

That's great,

I could use something...

I thought I'd go to a local diner or something.

Oh, you must be starving, you've only had airport food.

I'll tell you what, we could go to the Icon,

and then meet Al after his work.

Well, I guess.

That would give us time to get to know each other.

We're both going to be a part of his life now.

Yeah, there you go...

MESSAGE TONE

Is that him?

No, it's a colleague about a leaving do.

But he was trying to get hold of you earlier.

-Yeah?

-He's been doing some checking up.

About what? Did he tell you? Is it something that..?

About you applying to stay here.

Oh, he'd do it, you know. Marry me.

That's what best buds do.

I'm sure if anyone could get him to commit it would be you.

Him and me, we'd take on the world. Invincible.

Mrs Tembe, you said someone's looking for me?

He does not have an appointment but he is very insistent.

Thanks. Hello, I'm Doctor Haskey. Haven't we...?

Jonathan Roche, Doctor Haskey. I wondered if you'd remember me.

Yeah, you're Grady's father. You came over for graduation.

I'll get straight to it.

Has my son been in touch with you recently? He's been missing.

-Missing?

-We discovered that he flew out of Boston about a week ago

and we have no idea where he is, so I've been trying to track you down.

A week ago? He only got here today.

You've actually seen him? Is he OK?

Yeah, he's fine, a bit jet-lagged.

Please, where is he?

He's at my house, sorry,

can we back track a bit?

What's this about being missing?

Is there somewhere private we can discuss this?

Yeah, sure.

Grady's bipolar? Since when?

He was diagnosed about a year ago.

He started insisting he did his best work late at night, listening

to B52s, whatever that is.

The B52s are a band.

They're his favourite.

Well, he had to have it on full volume

to clear his thoughts, he said, and then, er,

of course the neighbours complained.

-Then he got arrested, so we got him some help.

-What kind of help?

He was hospitalised for observation after making these grandiose

claims about his work.

He had all the answers, he was going to cure the world.

Well, Grady's always been really upbeat.

I admire your loyalty, Doctor Haskey,

but you have no idea what he's been like recently.

And as a psychiatrist, he's been...

It's like, if you're crazy it's easy to hide among your patients.

Right, well, that kind of language is not going to help, is it?

As far as we can tell Grady's been off his meds for two weeks.

Regardless of your opinion,

I'm here to take my son home to get the treatment he needs.

If this is true then he needs treatment before he goes anywhere.

It's not my habit to lie.

If something is wrong,

then he needs stabilising before he gets on a plane.

He got here OK.

Exactly.

Grady?

Grady?

Grady?

Nothing, he's not here. I'm going to give Niamh a call.

What's that?

That's proof, if needed.

"I am hood hung.

"Um, on head hoing, uh, a moon hinged."

"LA. She-yak."

"Lash-a-key.

"Al Has Key."

He does this sometimes.

He claims people aren't who they seem

and the proof is in solving their name.

Only he can see things "the right way", he says.

Anagrams of mine and Niamh's name.

Can you see why I'm concerned he's not on his meds?

Yeah, because meds are always the answer, aren't they(?)

Has it ever occurred to you to just talk to him?

Or even better, you could listen to him?

That's easy for you to say, isn't it? I don't have experience

in this behaviour, this bipolar thing.

But you do understand something about being a father.

He's still Grady,

he's still your son.

Mum's fine, yeah, she knows where I am.

Yeah, she's curled up on your sofa with a box set.

OK, bye.

I cannot believe this!

A token of our affection.

I have run out of hands.

If I could...?

This is not a time for delivering epithets...

What's one of them?

Something boring.

We are here to honour you, Mrs Tembe, not just with flowers

but with our sincere thanks.

Modest and unassuming as you are...

And scary.

Thank you, Ayesha, I think you'll find that's pronounced "caring".

I know praise does not sit well with you, Mrs Tembe,

but no-one can deny the respect shown you this evening.

I'm sure I speak for us all

when I say we wish you well in your new career.

In a nutshell, you will be missed.

Al and me, he's my other half, you know?

We have to be together.

He's the key to all this.

-Key to all what?

-Well, our future.

What a success we'll make of that.

Who's for another drink?

Oh, speak of the devil.

What's he doing here? Why have you brought him?

It's OK, he was worried about you.

I'm relieved to see you, son.

Al, what's going on?

He's my jailer, he locks me away and fills me with drugs.

Why have you sided with him? We don't need anybody.

I came to you for sanctuary.

No-one in Boston gets me any more, friends, family...

-Why don't we sit down?

-You're the key to this.

Al Has Key, you're going to find alternative drugs

and I'm going to help you.

Absolutely I am, but first I want you to tell me all about it.

You're a genius. He's a brilliant inventor

and there's nothing he can't do if I'm with him.

A marriage of the minds.

Always has been, and it always will be.

So we're all going to sit down, yeah?

And you're going to talk us.

And we're going to listen. Yes?

If that's what it takes, yes.

Mate,

how long since you last slept?

I don't need to answer that.

Will you take me to Ireland with you?

They'll understand me there.

I think you should stay here and talk to Al.

You're right he does have all the answers.

All of you, you're...

I'll find my own way.

-Son, wait.

-Have to go, got to pack.

This is what talking gets you.

From Doctor Granger, Doctor Carmichael and baby Joe,

it is such an extravagant display.

Zara might be a frosty cow but she's got great taste.

Nurse Lee.

Daniel sends his apologies, he's on childcare duties.

And this is from Sid.

Where is he?

Some patients' initiative he couldn't reschedule.

So, this is from me and Rob.

It's an electronic tag.

So if you stray too far we'll know where you are and come running.

Don't lose touch, will you?

You have made that impossible.

To Mrs Tembe.

Oh, yeah, to Mrs Tembe.

How many of those have you had?

Dutch courage. Can't believe that we're losing her.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

Still, I'm with the most desirable woman in the room.

Desirable is in the eye of the beholder,

and I'd really appreciate a little less hold(!)

Grady?

Grady, come on, man.

I know you think I've let you down but does that honestly

sound like something that I would do to you.

You can't stay in there forever, son.

Your mother's been frantic since you disappeared.

All right, two things that are not going to help are drugs and guilt.

You had your chance, he's my son and he's my responsibility,

you said yourself, he's going to need something

if he's getting on a plane.

Medication can help to manage the situation.

But if you think you can anaesthetise mania away,

so it gives you an easier life, I'm sorry,

but you are part of the problem.

I just want my son back the way he was.

That might never happen.

You don't love me?

We do, we all love you.

That's what makes this so hard to deal with.

It's not fair to burden Doctor Haskey with it.

Guilting him again.

If it helps him deal with the situation, being here with me.

Maybe that's something we should explore.

Look, how do I know this isn't where it all started?

Here, with you. He came back from the UK, with all these wild,

crazy ideas in his head...

Oh, right, so he caught this from me?

He may think of you as some cosy, British eccentric,

but I think you're dangerous.

I don't like the influence you have over him.

So we've got, drugs and we've got guilt,

and now we've got blame, that's a fantastic combination, isn't it?

-Son?

-Hey.

Did you mean that about staying here?

Yeah, of course I did, whatever it takes.

It would be like our post-grad year, wouldn't it?

Do you remember that?

We didn't know anybody, we were strangers in a strange land...

-Martians.

-Martians.

Two Martians who found each other, and we found the B52s, and

we stayed up all night, laughing so hard that the neighbours complained.

I forgot my CDs.

No Rock Lobster.

Yeah, but you've got me.

And what are my two favourite ladies conspiring over?

How to keep you sober.

Listen, I told you about that...

Anyone would think you're ashamed to be seen with me.

Mrs Tembe, holding hands in public? Yes or no?

Please do not ask me to adjudicate, Doctor Carter.

You're doing a bit more than holding hands though, aren't you?

Perhaps if you had a drink, you might lighten up and enjoy yourself.

I'll be in touch.

Ruhma...

Mrs T, I just wanted to say goodbye.

I know, we've had our moments, and you're hard work too,

but you're worth getting to know for all that.

Well, that is a unique compliment.

Give them hell at King's Green, Winnie,

they're really lucky to have you.

-Evening, everybody!

-Oh, no!

Mother of Nurse of the Year, here.

Eesh? Thought you said this was a party?

So we're agreed,

no coercion on your part, you're going to listen to Grady.

Of course.

Dude, you're going to head back to Boston, get your meds sorted,

and you're going to go and see a therapist...

I don't need one.

Look, I'm going to be monitoring things really closely from here.

Anything I don't like the sound of and I'll be over there quick as...

I think we both want the best for him.

You'll let me arrange an assessment before you fly?

Of course we will. I've got your pills with me, son.

-Let's get back to the hotel.

-Or I can stay here

-and not take anything, because I really don't need it?

-Dude?

Your dad's booked a hotel room.

I think you two need to talk things over,

and you certainly need a good sleep.

I will be there first thing in the morning.

Yeah?

Yeah?

-You promise?

-Of course I promise.

And that is a promise with Martian honour.

Come here, you.

Fiance.

Time to go.

I haven't been here five minutes, always in a rush,

I haven't had any cake yet.

We'll take some with us, yeah?

It's always come here, don't do this, don't do that!

Anyone would think you're my mum, when you're no better.

All right, Mrs Lee, we're going to go home now, so off we pop.

Let's go!

Hello, handsome!

Get physical with it?

What do you reckon, hey?

Charming offer as that is, I'm a married man.

I'm not fussed.

Where's that tall northern bloke, you know, the one with the quiff?

He's not here.

Shame, looks like he could keep a girl's knicker drawer busy,

that one.

That's really enough now, OK?

Right, that's it. We're going home, the party's over.

What? No.

Come on, one for the road?

No, no, no. Oops-a-daisy! Off we go.

# Celebrate good times, come on. #

-They've both checked out, when?

-Oh, I'm sorry.

-Well, where were they going to?

-I'm not allowed to say.

I know you're not allowed to say but they booked a car, didn't

they? That car was going to the airport, wasn't it?

The lying, conniving...

Sorry, I don't mean you.

My name is Doctor Haskey, did they at least leave me a message?

-I'll have a look.

-It's Doctor Haskey.

-Oh, yeah, here we go.

-Thank you.

Goodbye, Mrs Tembe.

Meeting you has been...

..humbling.

My time at the Mill has been the happiest I have had

since leaving Botswana.

But, there is a season for everything.

I will carry the weight of my experience

but it will not be a burden.

Because friends make the journey lighter.

To be bereft of true friendship is the worst thing of all.

Wherever life may take us,

I will carry you all in my heart.

I will always think of the Mill as my home,

and you as my family.

Oh, just...just...

Have you seen what he's given me to do?

The rotas on top of everything else!

Mrs Tembe had her faults but she would never off-load work like that.

I'm going to miss her.

Not much of a housekeeper, this one, is she?

Whereas you're the perfect house guest(!)

You've let yourself go a bit, is it drugs?

Please, Mrs Hollins, just go!

I wonder how Mrs Tembe's getting on?