What Goes Around Doctors

Take your time.

The things I say to you - you can't tell anyone, right?

Everything said in this room remains confidential.

OK.

So, what brings you here?

Well, the thing is...

I mean, the reason I came...

Yes?

I keep going with different people. Girls, I mean.

Especially since I started university.

Every weekend a new one.

-You're worried your sex life is getting out of control?

-No.

It's something else.

You have to do something about him.

Ayesha, as you well know, I already searched the place.

I didn't find anything.

-No drugs, no associated paraphernalia.

-Well, search again.

I've already told you - without any evidence there's nothing I can do.

You know they were out of it yesterday.

Don't tell me you couldn't see what they were like.

-Ayesha.

-He's a drug dealer. Follow him. See what he gets up to.

I'm sorry, love. That's not going to happen.

Listen, if he does something that you can prove, come and find me.

In other words, you're going to do nothing.

I'm afraid that's the best I can offer at the moment. I'm sorry.

-Hello.

-Hi.

-I wasn't expecting to see you today.

-Are you all right?

-Yeah.

-How was the hospital?

-Not too bad.

-Well, that's good news.

It's terrific.

Sorry. I'm just not feeling myself.

You do look a bit drained.

The chemo didn't affect me as badly as before.

Physically I'm all right. I might as well be here.

-And emotionally?

-Yeah. I'm fine.

-How was Mrs Tembe?

-Well, she misses us all.

She's loving her new practice.

Sounds like she's got a few things to sort out there, otherwise she seems happy.

I pity her poor colleagues until she gets things ship-shape.

I better get on.

Hey, it's me. Are you free?

I need to see you.

It just goes to show you don't have to be a whizz-kid City trader to make money on the stock market.

You only made seven pounds!

-That's because I didn't invest enough.

-Is that so?

Today I'm going to win big. I've just got to decide what I'm going to invest in.

-I think you should just leave it where it is. It'll soon add up.

-I'm not going to sit on it.

-I want to get my hands dirty.

-Stocks and shares aren't supposed to be messed with every day.

Where's the fun in just leaving it there?

What you need is spread betting.

-I think that's what I am doing.

-No. What you were doing was the beginner's stuff.

-Al...

What's spread betting?

-Esther.

-Thanks for letting me use your room.

-No problem.

Any idea when they're going to let you back in yours?

You know what the university's like. It'll probably be months before they realise I still work here,

-let alone let me loose with a key.

-How does it feel, being back?

Nice. Familiar.

I'm going to take it easy though. Only one client today.

-I was really sorry to hear about your husband.

-Thank you.

How is Sarah coping?

-She's clammed up, won't talk about it.

-I suppose that's natural.

I keep reaching out to her but she doesn't want to know.

She keeps me at a distance.

You'd think that what happened was my fault.

Give her time.

I've done all the courses on coping with grief, read the books.

I know exactly what to say if it happened to a client of mine.

But somehow it's different when your own child's going through it.

Don't be too hard on yourself because you're going through it too.

-If there's anything any of us can do here...

-You're very kind.

-Anyway, I better get on. Best get home, get some food.

-OK.

Basically, I'm guessing if the market is going to go up or down.

No, no, no. You're not guessing.

Just because it's called spread betting doesn't mean you're supposed to gamble.

What you are supposed to do is make informed decisions about which way

you think the price of the market is going to go.

So, here is one way of doing it.

This is yesterday's market, and yesterday's market finished up on the previous day.

-Right?

-Right.

-What makes you say right?

-Because of the little squiggles pointing up.

-Correct.

One analyst has calculated that because yesterday's market finished up,

there's a 73% chance that today's market will also finish up.

-I think it's going to go down.

-What makes you think that?

I can feel it in my waters.

Karen, this was calculated using computers and years of experience.

Your waters, whatever or wheresoever they may be,

can't possibly know anything about the stock exchange.

I want to put my whole £300 on it going down. How do I do that?

Does Rob know about this?

-I do not need Rob's permission, thank you very much.

-Fine.

Fancy bumping into you.

I'm just off to catch up with some mates.

If you wanted to come you could have just asked,

instead of sneaking about following me.

Not sure they're your kind of people though.

You got lucky yesterday.

I wish the two of us could have found a way to be friends.

-That's never going to happen.

-We both care about your mum.

How can you say that, after what you did to her?

-I don't know what you're chatting about.

-You gave her something yesterday.

-Are you recording this?

-No.

Maybe you should go and have a little lie down.

You're not thinking straight.

I'll be home later. Maybe we can chat then.

The three of us.

All the family.

I'll see you later.

Sarah?

Mum, we need to talk. I've just seen Ike and...

Don't start on again. I don't want to talk about it.

-Sarah. Have you been bunking off...?

-Mum, get out!

Oh!

-Get out.

-Mum, I'm not a kid!

-Get out!

-Give me a chance.

-I'll call you.

-Get away from her!

-All right. All right.

-Mum, listen to me.

-Don't start.

We need to sort this out.

I've stopped drinking. It's what you wanted, isn't it?

Not if you're just replacing it with something else!

You're never happy.

All that's going to happen is you'll start craving the drugs

in the same way you do with the alcohol.

-We need to deal with the underlying cause.

-Stop going on.

I'm not. I'm trying to help you!

Which is more than I can say for Ike.

I've barely had a drop to drink since I met him.

He's done more for me in these last few days than you ever have.

I just want you to get well again.

Please, Mum. Help me out, just this once.

Get rid of him so we can get the family back together.

What family? There's no-one left.

No-one worth knowing, anyway.

-What's that?

-Oh, mm...

Stop.

-Sarah. Please.

-It's none of your business who I see and what I do.

-Come and sit down, we need to talk.

-How could you go psycho like that?

Please.

-Did you use a condom?

-Oh, my God!

-I need to know.

-That's none of your business.

-I just want you to be safe.

Then stop treating me like a child.

-If I want to sleep with someone, it's my choice.

-And what would your father think?

They say they've written to you several times.

Why didn't you say something? You could have asked me to help.

Because you always know what's best for me!

St Ayesha comes swooping in to save myself from me.

-Mum, they're evicting you.

-Who is?

-The housing association.

-They can't do that.

-They say they've taken you to court.

You're months behind on the rent.

It's that stupid bedroom tax. They cut my benefits because of it.

They also say you've been subletting without permission.

-What does that mean?

-I think it means Ike.

You know, this could be a good thing.

If you have to move, it'll be a chance to start over.

-I don't want to start over.

-Think about it.

You can leave all this behind you.

All my memories of Sierra are in this house.

You've taken her from me. You're not having my memories as well.

I'm not the one doing this. If you didn't want to be evicted you should have answered their letters.

They're just trying to take advantage of me.

If you have to move then you'll make new friends.

People who are better for you to be around.

I want to stay here with Ike.

-He's bad for you.

-He's not.

He's the only good thing I've got left in my life.

Don't be ridiculous.

You did this.

You told them he was staying here.

-No.

-No-one else knew.

-The neighbours must have seen him.

Don't put this on them.

He's only been here a couple of days and already someone's grassed.

-It wasn't me.

-You're nothing but a nasty, spiteful cow.

-How can you talk to me like that?

-I can talk to you the way I like.

Why are you always ruining things for me?

It's not Ike that should go, it's you.

PHONE RINGS

-Hello?

-Did you know she was my daughter?

-How would I?

-Did you know?

-I only met you this morning.

If you've hurt her... If you've given her anything...

Have you told her what's wrong with me?

-You can't. You said it was confidential.

-She's my daughter.

-Well, I didn't know that.

-You liar.

She was just some slapper I picked up in the college bar.

She wanted it, egged me on.

If she's caught anything it's her fault.

-Yes!

-At least someone's in a good mood.

-I've won again!

-Are you gambling on work time?

-It's not gambling.

This is spread betting, which is all about skill and judgment.

-And you're doing it?

-I put £300 on...

-£300!

You've got to speculate to accumulate.

I predicted that the market would fall by midday today and ta-dah!

-How much have you won?

-£40.

You risked £300 to make £40?

It would have been much more had the market fallen by more.

-So I'm going to up the ante.

-Are you sure that's a good idea?

-£3,000.

-That's a lot of money.

Think what else you could do with that.

I think that the market is going to make a sharp recovery and rise by this afternoon.

-You worked all that out while you were telling Heston about Mrs Potter's verrucas?

-It's done.

Sarah. Please, just listen to me.

-Leave me alone.

-I know him. That boy you were with.

-It's Tommy Hawkshaw.

-How?

-He's a client.

-I don't believe you.

-He's ill, Sarah.

He's got something and I'm terrified he's given it to you.

-Is this a sick joke?

-Just come to the surgery with me.

Daniel Granger is there today. I'm sure he'll help us if we ask him.

-What's Tommy got?

-He's got an STI.

-Which one?

-It's gonorrhoea.

Please. Just come with me. Come on.

How's it going, Gordon Gecko?

Look. If things stay as they are, I will have made £2,000.

-Wow!

-I'm just warming up.

By the time the markets close at 4.30pm today,

I am hoping it's going to be a lot, lot more than that.

And how are you going to spend the money?

I've got a bit of a nose for this and I'm thinking perhaps I could buy into the partnership.

Hang on, you put in £3,000 and you've already won £2,000?

Not "won". My investment has matured.

So how come you only got £40 when you put in £300?

That's a much smaller percentage.

Well, that's because the market this morning was a bit bullish.

Or bearish. I can't remember them. It's like left and right.

No! No, no, no, no, no.

-What?

-Mm!

-You put in £30,000?

-I didn't! I put three! I put three!

You've pressed an extra zero, haven't you?

-Did you use a condom?

-I'm on the pill. Mum doesn't know.

OK. So you didn't use a condom?

-Mum came in, though. Disturbed us. Tommy didn't...finish.

-OK.

And it was our first time.

We've been seeing each other for a few weeks, but he said he wanted to wait.

-Said it meant something. That's what he said, anyway.

-OK.

I'm going to need to take a urine sample so we can test for STIs.

Please, don't worry. You've done the right thing coming to see me.

If he has passed something on to you it's best we know

so we can start treatment straight away.

-Can't you ask Al how it works?

-He's on house calls.

Here you go. "Limiting your investment.

"To limit your loss on any investment, use this link to set a maximum amount before going live."

-Oh, dear.

-I can't afford to lose £30,000!

Maybe you could sell Rob into slavery.

Too soon?

"All trades are legally binding."

Perhaps you should stick to Monopoly next time.

The market is still up. If it stays that way I'll be all right.

-How long left?

-Two-and-a-half hours.

Hello. Karen's either won or lost tens of thousands of pounds on the stock exchange.

Oh.

When I came in this morning, feeling like death,

I had no idea I'd end up being the cheery one.

I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for you.

If your cat is scratching himself all day then you need to see a vet, not a nurse. OK?

Argh!

-Is everything all right?

-Fine. Everything is fine.

What's happened?

-Take care.

-Thank you.

-Do you want to get something to eat?

-No. I just want to go home.

-What have you done to me?

-Fancy seeing you here!

-I'll kill you.

-Just leave him.

You knew you had an infection and you still slept with me.

-How could you do that?

-Come on. Come on.

What have you done, Tommy?

None of your business.

Tommy, why did you lie to them?

-You told Sarah's mum you've got an infection you haven't got.

-So?

You set this whole thing up, didn't you? Why?

My medical records are confidential. You can't say a word.

I want you to tell them.

Why would I do that, after all the time I spent buttering up that stupid girl?

Because it's the right thing to do.

Do you want them to suffer? Is that what this is?

-I'd have thought you'd know better, after what happened to your mother.

-Don't go there.

What's Sarah done to make you want to punish her like this?

-Keep out of my business.

-Fine. I'll tell them myself.

-And I'll get you struck off.

That so-called therapist has already told her daughter things I said in confidence.

Do you want to join her on the scrapheap?

Confidentiality is to help protect people's privacy.

No-one will blame her for telling her daughter she was at risk.

And you? What will they say about you?

Say anything and it's the end of you.

We'll see.

I don't know what to do.

Everything I try, she just pushes me away.

-Come back and stay at mine tonight.

-I can't.

-You're going to wear yourself into the ground.

-I have to try and help her.

-Unless she wants to help herself, you can't.

-But she does.

She hasn't been drinking half as much since she met Ike.

I know she's going about it the wrong way,

but surely it shows she's actually serious about giving up?

Not if she ends up popping pills instead.

She just doesn't know any better. If I can just get her away from Ike...

How many times have you tried that?

She knows her options, and if she doesn't want to take them...

-She has to.

-No, Ayesha, she doesn't.

Maybe, but I've got to try.

Nearly there!

You don't think it could drop all the way down again, do you?

In the next 20 seconds? I don't think so.

Not unless a big scandal breaks.

You know, like when you see it in the movies and everybody ditches their stock.

Because it's all online, they can do it in an instant.

Come on, come on!

THEY SHOUT I did it!

-I can't believe it!

-I did it!

How much did you make?

"Available funds - £40,000"!

You've just made a profit of £10,000?

-SHE WHOOPS

-Congratulations. That is brilliant.

KNOCK ON WINDOW

Take a holiday. Somewhere sunny.

I've never flown first class before.

Apparently they give you silk pyjamas to wear.

You can buy those in the market for £20.

Not the quality that I'm going to be getting used to.

-Al, you will never guess what's happened.

-Methinks I will.

My spidey sense has been telling me that Karen Hollins

-lost all her money betting on the nation's finances. Am I right?

-No.

-Really?

-Yeah, I was amazed as well.

-Oi!

You're not telling me you made money sat there on your bottom?

10,000 new English pounds. Yes!

She's already decided how she's going to spend it.

No. Because I'm going to keep most of it back to reinvest.

If I am serious about buying into the partnership then I'm going to have to do this a fair few times.

-I've had a 100% success rate so far.

-OK. Well done on that.

-Erm, this is awkward...

-What?

I didn't want you to lose all your money before you knew what you were doing,

so I only set you up a practice account.

-Surprise!

-What's a practice account?

-It's like a real account, Valerie,

-except you can't lose any real money.

-Or make any real money!

Let's concentrate on the money I would have saved you if things had gone the other way, yeah?

No? OK. I'm going to run away before you rip my face off.

You're finished. Been telling you all about me, has he?

-Well, you deserved it.

-Get out of our house or I'm calling the police.

I think you owe these people an apology.

For lying? Not a chance.

I only wish I could have dragged it out longer.

I mean, an apology for bursting into their house.

What did you lie about?

Tommy, as your doctor, I would never breach your confidentiality.

I simply came round to give Sarah some results.

-What was the lie, Tommy?

-The STI.

Thought it would be a good way to get under your skin.

At least you suffered, even if it only was for one day.

Why would you do that?

To give you a taste of what I went through because of you.

But I've not met you before today.

You met my old man. Gave him therapy.

-Put ideas in his head.

-What do you mean?

He only came to you for help when he was feeling down.

But you made him think about what else he could have.

He ran off with some blonde from work, leaving my mum a wreck.

Destroyed our family.

I don't tell people what to do or think.

Everything was fine before you got involved. You ruined everything.

She was just doing her job, Tommy.

Now this is over.

-You knew he'd come here.

-Don't tell anyone, will you?

Mum? Hello?

"I've had it with you. I've gone away with Ike.

"Don't try and find us.

"Have a miserable life - you deserve it."

-Queen Victoria!

-THEY CLAP

Look, we've no time for this. We open in ten minutes.

But today, alas, you must abdicate.

Mum's run off with her drug dealer boyfriend.

She's left a nice little pile of debt

and we're about to be evicted, unless I chain myself to a radiator.

I'm sorry I didn't see fit to tell you.

Maybe I should have gone round with a bell - "Unclean, unclean!"