A Christmas Treat Doctors

I have got... a special treat for you.

I can't wait.

Dad?

I KNEW you were seeing someone.

-Amy?

-This why you wanted me out of the house, isn't it?

-Have you ever heard of knocking?

-Get out.

Excuse me?

-Get away from him.

-Ian.

-Ian, are you all right?

-He's not well.

-I'm trying to help him.

-Look, leave him alone!

Ow!

Oh, I love this time of year.

I can't wait for it all to start.

Well, you are just going to have to.

I know. I'm a big kid.

Jack and Immie are coming. Rob's got time off.

So it's going to be the perfect Christmas.

-Careful. You don't want to tempt fate.

-How do you mean?

You know, the pressure people put on Christmas.

Oh, no. It's going to be fine.

Cos Jack and Immie are all grown-up, they're fun to be with,

no dramas, which is what I need after Barney and Hannah.

I'm sure. Yeah.

-And Jack's promised to do Christmas dinner.

-No way!

I'll believe it when I see it, mind.

I can't even imagine Shak ever doing anything like that.

Mind you, he has agreed to find a halal goose with Heston.

Oh, goose. I've never had that. What's it like?

I don't know, but knowing Heston, it'll be delicious.

-If they find one.

-Er...Mrs Hollins?

Time sheets?

Oh, yes.

Hear ye, hear ye! I have changed my mind.

I'm sorry?

Mrs Tembe, I want you to fill your boots.

I want you to make this place look ridiculous.

Well, thank you.

I am prepared to tolerate other people's beliefs,

even if other people's beliefs are superstitious claptrap.

That is very generous of you, Dr Haskey.

Don't you mention it.

-SANTA:

-Merry Christmas!

Promise me you'll get that seen to.

Yes.

She's not normally like that. She's been really stressed lately.

-Why?

-BREATHLESSLY:

-I've no idea.

Are you all right?

Nothing that being 20 years younger wouldn't cure.

You still want me to pick up that prescription for you?

-If you don't mind.

-For you, anything.

FOOTSTEPS

Better go.

What are you doing?

I'm leaving.

Why? Where are you going?

Why do you care?

Amy!

You obviously don't need me any more.

Of course I do.

No, you don't. You never have.

Amy, don't do this.

I have no choice. You've made your feelings perfectly clear.

It's nearly Christmas.

And I'm sure your little friend will look after you.

I don't want you to be on your own.

You should have thought of that before.

No, Amy, don't!

RINGTONE: "The Sweeney"

Hello. Rob Hollins.

Oh, hi.

Right, OK.

-That's great. You're all booked in for next week.

-Thank you.

-Ian?

-Valerie, darling. I need to see someone.

Are you all right? Have a seat.

Thanks.

Interval training.

The sprints are a killer.

Joke, Valerie, joke.

Where's Amy?

-She's run away.

-What?

She's run away from home. Mind you, I did too.

When I was 15. But at her age?

What happened?

We had a bit of a row.

Next thing I knew, she'd packed a bag and gone.

-Why?

-She takes things very personally, Valerie. You know that.

Who's going to look after you?

The question is, who's going to look after her?

She's your full-time carer.

Actually, I've always wondered who looks after who.

So what was this row about?

-I had a friend over and...

-That's it?

I had a feeling they wouldn't get on.

That's no reason to walk out on you.

She'll come back. I think.

You don't sound too certain.

She's very angry with me.

I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding.

Oh, Dr Reid? Could you see Mr Tilworth?

I'm supposed to be at the Mill, Valerie.

Could you just squeeze him in? I'd hate for him to have to wait.

All right.

Great. Thanks, Valerie.

Come in.

Merry Christmas!

I had a call from Gina.

-They need respite care for some young lad.

-When?

Straight away. His mum's going into hospital and his dad's not around.

And they want us to have him over Christmas?

-Not sure about that.

-Jack and Immie are coming home.

They'll understand.

It's Christmas. We don't know anything about him.

-He's bound to have problems.

-Gina said he doesn't.

And you believe that?

I don't know, but whatever he's like, we'll deal with.

In our house? With our family? Over Christmas?

We're not that bad.

What if he's resentful or angry or...I don't know...

Hello, Sergeant Hollins.

Hi, Mrs Tembe.

Is Dr Reid back?

Not yet.

When she does, I have some forms for her to sign.

I don't fancy it. Not at Christmas.

I need a break.

OK. All right, fair enough.

Tell Gina I'm sorry.

Yeah, I will. No problem.

Amy, you can't just leave him on his own.

-Did he tell you to call me?

-No.

He doesn't even know.

-He didn't tell you what happened, did he?

-No.

Look, it was an accident. But it was his fault.

-He always brings out the worst in me.

-What happened?

Looking after him is my responsibility.

I can't let this woman swan into his life, push me out,

take away the one thing I'm good at...

Amy, Amy, slow down.

What woman?

Oh, it's a long story.

I've got a break in half an hour.

Meet me at the Icon.

Ian, I'm sorry to have to tell you, but your lung function

has declined a little bit.

Yeah. Well, the last couple of days have been a bit iffy.

I was fine this morning.

Then I had a bit of a turn,

thought a dose of oxygen would put me right, but... it just got worse.

-How are you feeling now?

-A bit better.

And how are you coping in general?

Well, I'm a little worried about my marathon times.

-But apart from that...

-You ran marathons?

No. I used to walk them, though. I was a postie.

Oh! I bet that kept you fit.

Not really.

I spent most of my time talking to lonely old duffers like me.

Look, I'm afraid there's nothing more I can do for you.

You're already getting the best care that we have.

So there's no chance of a miracle cure being slipped

under the Christmas tree, hey?

I'm afraid not.

I mustn't complain.

There's plenty worse off then me.

How are your other care arrangements?

-Up and down.

-Can I do anything to help with those?

No. I'll sort it out myself.

Unless Valerie sticks her oar in.

-You know what she's like.

-Oh, you know Valerie?

My wife taught her piano. She's practically family.

Valerie plays the piano. Wow!

-Can't play a note.

-Oh!

-Spent most of her time talking.

She was my Judith's worst student.

Look, it's very nice to see you. You take care.

Thank you.

-Bye-bye.

-Bye.

You must have done something to make her walk off like that.

-Not really.

-Really?

-I've been trying to get her to go out more.

-Why?

She needs to get a life, meet people, find a job,

stop behaving like some spoilt teenager.

She's got a job. Looking after you.

Yeah, well, I never really wanted her to.

To be honest, it was just an excuse to give her somewhere to live.

She's never really been able to cope on her own.

So you do want her to leave?

No. I don't know.

She needs a proper job.

The problem is, she's never stuck at anything.

She's been with you for eight years.

Look, have you spoken to her about any of this?

I've tried to, but it's not easy.

Look, if she calls you, will you let me know?

-Of course.

-My Judith always said you were her nicest student.

Really?

Rubbish on the piano, but a heart of gold.

Oh...

I can't look after another kid. Not now. It's somebody else's turn.

I'm sure they'll find somewhere for him.

Christmas is our special time.

Oh, hello. Mrs Tembe was looking for you.

She's got some stuff for you to sign.

-I haven't got time now.

-But...

Sometimes you have to be a bit selfish.

-What?

-Think of yourself.

-You saying I'm being selfish?

-No, I'm saying that's right.

If you give too much of yourself, it takes over your life.

-You need a break.

-Yeah, I do.

What you've done is amazing.

-Everyone thinks so.

-Really?

Yeah, of course. So stop worrying.

Your blood pressure's fine. You seem in perfect health.

I feel good.

-And you seem a lot happier.

-All because of the Vita course.

-It's true.

-I believe you.

I know it sounds mad, but I really did experience the holy spirit.

At least I think I did.

If you think you did, then maybe you did.

I wish you had.

-Hmm. Are you sleeping any better?

-Yep, fine. No anxiety.

-Nothing.

-Right, so you've no health worries,

you're sleeping OK. Is there anything else?

Well...

What?

I've met a boy. A man, actually.

And he's gorgeous.

Hello, can I help you?

I'm here to see someone.

-Do I know you?

-I don't think so.

OK.

-How did this happen?

-I fell. Actually, I was pushed.

-By a client?

-No.

OK. Does that hurt?

A bit. None of my clients would hurt me.

-Really?

-I've got a completely new list. All of them reliable.

Not a word I would use to describe men who see sex workers,

-but, you know...

-It's not a word I'd use to describe men in general.

But this lot are different.

Look, it's bruised, but there's nothing broken.

So what's so different about your new clients?

You'd understand if you met them.

Actually, one of them has proposed to me.

Is he nice?

Not bad, and hey...my age...

He's a post-grad student.

Kind, thoughtful, gentle.

-How did you meet him?

-In the library.

I was asking for a book about the holy spirit and

-he offered to help me.

-Is he a Christian?

No, but he's definitely interested.

-Or he's interested in you, you mean.

-Maybe.

I'm happy for you, Rosie.

The thing is... I've never been with anyone like him before,

or anyone half as good-looking.

I bet he tells his friends all the same thing.

I doubt it.

But... the reason I wanted to see you...

-..I'd like you to meet him.

-You make me feel like I'm your dad.

It's nothing like that.

But I trust you.

And I'd like to know what you make of him.

She was in bed with him?

Not quite. But they were getting there.

It was pretty obvious.

He didn't mention that.

-He wouldn't, would he?

-He said he was with a friend.

He's been seeing her for months.

How do you know?

I smelt perfume when I changed his sheets.

He lied about it, of course.

Why do men always think they can get away with that?

Looking after him is all I know, Valerie.

And once they're married, I'm finished.

-You don't know that.

-Maybe it's just as well.

I'm 45 and I'm still living at home.

-Who does that?

-Plenty of people nowadays.

I wouldn't want me around if I was him.

You really think he's serious about her?

Completely infatuated.

Yes, but that doesn't mean they're getting married.

-Why else would she be with him?

-Maybe she really likes him.

At his age? In his condition?

Rosie's told me a lot about you.

-All bad, I hope.

-No. It's an honour to meet you, Doctor.

Please, call me Jimmi. I gather you're a post-grad?

-MA in International Relations.

-Impressive.

-Not really.

-So, you decided what you're going to do when you leave?

Not sure. I've been going through some big changes.

-Rethinking my priorities.

-You've got plenty of time to decide.

I've applied to a couple of NGOs

-working on childhood diseases in Sub-Saharan Africa.

-Wow.

Obviously, I have to get through the interviews.

-I'm sure you will.

-Listen, it was lovely to meet you.

And you.

Whoo!

Jimmi, can I ask your advice?

It'll have to be later, Karen. I'm way behind.

-What do you need?

-What?

You said you wanted advice.

No, you're all right.

Come on, try me.

OK.

Social Services have asked if me and Rob can take a kid over Christmas.

-And?

-Do you think we should?

Yeah. Why not?

Thing is, I really wanted to spend Christmas on our own.

-Then don't.

-But what if the kid's got nowhere to stay?

-Then do.

-But what if he's got problems?

Karen, I'll be honest. I just don't care.

Do what you want with Tiny Tim.

Tiny Tim... Tiny Tim?

Your prescription, sir.

Apparently, you've got to see your GP if you want a renewal.

-Thank you.

-All part of the service.

Mind you, I don't do this for everybody.

Just my favourite client.

-How's your arm?

-It's sore. But I'll live.

I have something for you.

I've been wanting you to have this.

It was my wife's.

-Ian, it's beautiful, but I can't...

-No, no, please. After what Amy did.

Is she here?

No. She's gone.

Where?

Gone for good?

No. Might take a day or two, but she'll be back.

Oh, so we've got the place to ourselves, then?

I could set up the chessboard, or...

You could, or we could pick up where we left off...

Not sure I've got the strength.

Isn't that what the magic pills are for?

Before I did the Vita course, I was lost.

I hated my courses, the people I was with,

I was anxious all the time, couldn't sleep...

-Then it all changed.

-How?

Everything suddenly fell into place.

I felt confident, like it mattered what I thought,

what I said. I started to feel like I belonged.

Are you really interested in all this?

Yes.

I keep expecting you to make fun of me.

-Why?

-I don't know.

I don't think I've ever met a real Christian before.

Not like you, anyway.

It all sounds so flaky when I talk about this stuff.

If it feels real to you, then it's real.

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

Why are you so nice to me?

When I started uni, I didn't know what I was doing.

I was lonely, messed up, all over the place.

I don't believe you.

I really wasn't a nice person.

You're the nicest person I know.

Maybe if I'd had someone to show me round,

things might have been different.

Is that why you helped me in the library?

Yes. I'm trying to make amends.

That, and brown eyes drive me wild.

I knew there was more to it.

Can't get enough of them.

Have you always had a thing for brown eyes?

Not until I met you.

I can't believe he's pushing me out of his life like this.

I don't think he is.

When he got ill and asked me to look after him,

I thought he really needed me.

For the first time in my life.

He did. He does.

I've loved looking after him.

I mean, it's hard sometimes, obviously, but I'm good at it.

-Really good.

-I'm sure you are.

No, seriously. I was offered a job in a care home.

-You're kidding. When?

-Couple of days ago. It's only part-time, though.

-Still.

-The thing is, looking after Dad is the happiest I've ever been.

So go home. That's what he wants.

No. He's right. I have to move on.

At least talk to him.

I don't think I can, Valerie.

I'll just get angry again.

I want to know all about you.

There's not much to know.

What books do you read?

What films you like, what hobbies you have...

Hobbies?

-Yes.

-Well... I used to collect things.

-What sort of things?

-It's not that interesting.

-It is to me.

-And anyway, I've got other interests now.

Like what?

Come on. Tell me.

Recently, I've got into photography.

How can you say I'm your favourite client?

Look at me. Look at all these tubes.

I don't even notice them.

-Liar.

-I'm not lying, Ian. You treat me like a real person.

Not many clients do that.

-It's their loss.

-You play chess with me.

You care about what I think.

I've never met a man like you.

I've never met anyone like you.

Well, I don't even think of you as a client any more.

Just as well. I don't pay you half as much as I should.

I don't care about the money.

I enjoy doing things with you.

I'd like to spend even more time with you.

I'd like that too.

Ooh, what have you got in there?

-My worldly goods.

-I've got to get back.

Promise me you'll stay until he gets home.

-I'll have to. I'm not dragging that thing around any more.

-Good.

And I need to say sorry. You know, for what happened.

I thought you said it was an accident.

You've got far too many clothes on...

I don't believe it.

Is that...?

Amy, don't!

-Oh, my...!

-What kind of a freak are you?!

-Don't hit me.

-Amy, I didn't think you were coming back.

How can you do this to me? I hate you.

Amy!

You said you'd call me. And it's not what you think.

Amy! Amy!

Amy, I never wanted you to leave.

How can I stay here if you're with her?

I need you, Amy. You're a huge part of my life.

-I used to be.

-But so is Denise. At least, I'd like her to be.

Can't you see what she's doing?

Worming her way in, doing everything she can to push me out.

That's not true.

-You really think she's in love with you?

-Hm! No.

She's only interested in one thing.

She sees me as a person. Not just some incurable disease.

And that's a lot more

than most of the health workers I have to deal with.

-Doesn't make it right.

-It does to me.

So, that's it?

Because I can't see any place for me in this cosy little relationship.

It's not a relationship.

Then what is it?

It's a... mutually... beneficial arrangement.

And the fact that we're friends is a bonus.

It makes it less of a... business transaction.

Oh, my... Please don't say she's a...

I've never done this before, Amy.

-It's only since...

-She's a prostitute?!

So how did you end up doing this?

Sorry. Was that a bit personal?

No. No, not at all.

I'm quite proud of what I do.

-Really?

-Yeah! I've been a sex worker most of my life.

But when you get older, the work dries up a bit.

And then a friend suggested the disabled and terminally ill market.

The what?

Men like Ian, they've got needs, like everybody else.

Yeah, I suppose. But why didn't he mention it?

It's not very easy to talk about.

No, I guess not.

And at Ian's age, if a guy is on his own, then women like me

are their only option.

There is a big demand for my services.

-I've never really thought about it.

-Well, yeah. And it is a service.

-My clients rely on me for all sorts of things. Not just the sex.

-No?

No, I've had to learn masses about disabilities of all kinds.

-You'd be amazed at what I have to do.

-Like what?

Well, take Ian.

I have to make sure that I'm on top at all times

because of his breathing difficulties,

then I have to be careful where I put my weight...

What?

Sorry, that was just a bit too much information.

"It is good to be a child sometimes, and never better than at Christmas,

"when its mighty Founder was a child himself."

-Very nice.

-Dickens.

A Christmas Carol.

"And it was always said of him, he knew how to keep Christmas well,

"if any man alive possessed the knowledge..."

OK. Enough. I know what you're all thinking.

I'm not thinking anything.

It's not my fault this boy's got nowhere to go over Christmas.

-No-one is saying...

-It's not like I'm throwing Tiny Tim out into the snow

-and watching him die.

-Tiny Tim?

-And OK, so he's got no dad. But that's not my fault.

-Whose dad?

If I could wave a magic wand and solve all his problems, I would.

But I can't.

If I could solve everyone's problems, I would.

-But I'm just one woman.

-Karen.

And if this little tyke ends up in a hostel with a load of drunks...

-Little tyke?

-Or on the street or in jail, it's not my responsibility.

No-one's saying it is.

OK, good. As long as that's clear.

Why do you always overreact?

Because you never listen to me.

You're 45, Amy. You need to grow up.

She's a prostitute!

And what's wrong with that?

It is illegal.

Actually, it isn't.

-Isn't it?

-I'll tell you what's wrong with it.

-She's desperate. And marrying you is her last chance.

-Marrying?

She'll get you to sign over the house, your pension, your savings...

It may be funny to you,

but he's my dad and I don't want him getting hurt.

I'm sorry, Ian.

You are my favourite client,

believe me, but I'm not interested in your money.

Sweetheart, I've got much richer clients down on one knee

begging me for my hand.

-Really?

-Yes! I like your dad.

I like spending time with him. But I like my independence.

I'm not giving up my job.

I wouldn't want you to.

I mean, if you have a problem with us sleeping together...

I don't care about the sex.

But looking after him is my job. It's my responsibility.

-That's fine.

-Nobody wants that to change.

Then why are you always on at me to get a job?

Because, darling, I won't be around forever.

Actually, she has got a job.

-What?

-Tell him.

It's in a care home.

That's wonderful.

And she'd be able to do it if she had a bit more time.

-You must do it.

-And, if Denise was here with you...

You're really not interested in him?

Not as a husband, no.

I suppose a couple of days a week wouldn't hurt.

I wouldn't mind spending a bit more time with you, eh?

-Mates' rates.

-I pay you hardly enough as it is.

Well, if it's all right with you...

I mean, I don't want you to start pushing me around...

Sorry about that.

I'm only teasing.

You do have to be careful with him, though.

-Oh, she is.

-How do you know?

She told me. But you don't want to go into that.

I was worried about you being on your own at Christmas.

-Now he won't be.

-As a matter of fact, I did have a little treat planned.

So I will need a bit of time on my own.

Fine. But I'm doing Christmas dinner.

And she doesn't come anywhere near my kitchen.

No, no, no, tomorrow's fine.

Let me know when... Oh, it's no problem.

Bye. Bye.

Oh, hello. So, that was Gina.

I told her were going to take the kid.

-But I thought you said...

-Don't you start as well, Rob.

I've had it from everybody else. I don't need it from you as well.

-What?

-I'm not going to throw some poor child out in to the cold.

-Some poor child?

-I'm not a monster.

I didn't actually say you were.

Are you sure you don't want to think about it?

No, no. We'll take him as he comes.

And we'll make him welcome.

It is Christmas, after all.

We'll take a witness statement from you later, sir.

I didn't see what happened, I found her like this.

'Ow did little Tim be'ive?

I'm a doctor. My name is Jimmi.

Can I take a look at your hand?

They don't celebrate Christmas. They think it's ungodly!

As Peter Brook once said, "A play is play."

As John Gielgud once said to Peter Brook,

"We open a week on Wednesday."