A Christmas Carol Doctors

-The date...

-1843.

-The place...

-London!

The season...

That of jollity, festivity and charity.

Holly and berries and good will to all men.

With perhaps one exception...

ALL: SCROOGE!

A squeezing...

..wrenching...

..grasping...

..scraping...

..clutching...

.covetous old sinner!

Hard and sharp as flint...

..from which no steel had ever struck out generous fire.

Secret and self-contained...

..and as solitary as an oyster

He carried his own low temperature always about him.

He iced his office in the dog days...

..and didn't thaw it one degree at Christmas.

Once upon a time...

..of all the good days in the year, on Christmas Eve...

Old Scrooge sat busy in his counting house.

It was cold, bleak, biting weather.

The clocks had just gone three, but it was already quite dark.

The door to Scrooge's office was open that

he might keep his eye upon his clerk...

..who, in a dismal little cell beyond, was copying letters and

trying to warm himself at the candle, in which effort...

..not being a man of strong imagination...

..he failed.

Merry Christmas, Uncle, God save you!

It was Scrooge's nephew Fred, in cheerful voice.

Bah! Humbug!

Christmas a humbug, Uncle? You don't mean that, I am sure.

I do. "Merry Christmas"?

What right have you to be merry?

What reason have you to be merry, you are poor enough.

What right have you to be dismal? What right have you to be morose? You're rich enough!

Scrooge, having no better answer ready on the spur of the moment,

-said...

-Bah!

-..again, and followed it up with...

-Humbug!

Don't be cross, Uncle!

What else can I be, when I live in such a world of fools as this?

"Merry Christmas"(!)

If I could work my will, every idiot who goes about with

"Merry Christmas" on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding,

and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.

Oh, Uncle!

Keep Christmas in your own way, and let me keep it in mine.

I have always thought Christmas a good time - a kind, forgiving,

charitable time when men and women open their shut-up hearts

freely and think of people below them.

Come dine with us tomorrow!

I'll see you in hell first, Nephew.

I'm sorry with all my heart to see you so resolute,

but I'll keep my Christmas humour to the last.

Good afternoon, Nephew.

Merry Christmas, Uncle.

I said good afternoon!

And Happy New Year! And to you too, Mr Cratchit.

Merry Christmas, sir.

There's another fellow, my clerk,

with 15/- a week and a wife and family,

talking about a merry Christmas.

Bah!

What now, Cratchit?

Sir, these gentlemen...

Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr Scrooge or Mr Marley?

Jacob Marley died seven years ago this very night, sir.

We have no doubt his liberality is well represented by his

surviving partner.

At this festive season of the year, Mr Scrooge,

it is more than usually desirable that we make provision for

the poor and destitute who suffer greatly.

Many thousands are in want of common necessities and comforts, sir.

Are there no prisons or workhouses in operation?

There are, I wish I could say they were not.

I'm very glad to hear it. I help to support those establishments,

they cost enough and those who are badly off must go there!

Many would rather die!

Then they had better do it and decrease the surplus population.

Now, good afternoon, gentlemen!

-But sir...!

-This way. if you please, gentlemen.

# God rest ye merry Gentlemen, let nothing you dismay... #

Cease your caterwauling, child!

At length, the hour of shutting up the counting house arrived

and Scrooge tacitly admitted the fact to the expectant clerk,

who instantly snuffed his candle out.

You'll want all day tomorrow, I suppose?

If quite convenient, sir.

It is NOT convenient and it's not fair.

If I was to stop you half a crown for it,

you'd think yourself ill used, I'll be bound.

And yet you do not think me ill used when I pay a day's wages for no work!

It is only once a year, sir.

A poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every 25th of December!

Yes, sir, Merry Christmas, sir... I mean... Um...

The clerk made his exit as fast as he could,

went down a slide on Cornhill in honour of its being Christmas Eve...

And then ran home to Camden Town as hard as he could pelt,

to play blind man's buff with his children.

Scrooge took his melancholy dinner in his usual melancholy tavern,

and having read all the newspapers, and beguiled the rest of the

evening with his banker's book, went home to bed.

He lived in chambers which had once belonged to his deceased partner...

A gloomy set of rooms...

..old enough and dreary enough now...

..for nobody lived in them but Scrooge.

CRASHING

How now, what do you want with me?

Much.

Who are you?

Ask me who I was.

Marley?!

Do you believe in me?

I don't!

HE GROANS

Mercy! Dreadful apparition, why do you trouble me?

Man of the worldly mind, do you believe in me or not?

I do...I must!

But why does a spirit such as you walk the Earth?

And why do you come to me?

It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk

abroad and travel far and wide.

It is doomed to wander through the world and witness what it

cannot share, but might have shared on Earth and turned to happiness.

Why are you fettered so?

I wear the chain I forged in life.

I made it, link by link and yard by yard.

It is a ponderous chain.

Jacob, please, speak comfort to me.

I have none to give.

I cannot rest, Ebenezer, I cannot stay, I cannot linger anywhere.

No rest, no peace. Incessant torture of remorse.

No space for regret, to make amends for life's opportunities misused!

Yet such am I!

But you were always such a good man of business, Jacob.

Business! Mankind was my business!

Charity, mercy, benevolence were all my business and I failed.

But Jacob...

I am here tonight to warn you

that you have a chance yet and a hope of escaping my fate.

A chance and hope of my procuring, Ebenezer.

You always were a good friend to me.

You will be haunted by three spirits.

I think I'd rather not.

Without their visits, you cannot hope to shun the path that I tread.

The first tomorrow, when the bell tolls one.

Couldn't I take 'em all at once and have it over, Jacob?

Expect the second on the next night at the same hour. The third upon the next night.

Look to see me no more, and look that, for your own sake,

you remember what happened between us.

And then the air was filled with phantoms, wandering hither

and thither in restless haste and moaning as they went.

And whether these creatures faded into mist, or the mist enshrouded them,

he could not tell.

But they and their spirit voices faded

and the night became as it had been.

HE BREATHES HEAVILY

When Scrooge awoke it was so dark and he was endeavouring to

pierce the darkness when the chimes of the neighbouring church struck.

CLOCK STRIKES

One o'clock?

It isn't possible that I have slept through

a whole day and far into another night.

Are you the spirit, whose coming was foretold to me?

I am.

Who and what are you?

I am the Ghost of Christmas Past. Your past.

And what is your business?

Your welfare. Now rise, and walk with me.

They passed through a wall and arrived upon a country road,

with fields on either side.

The darkness had vanished, for it was a clear, cold winter day,

with snow upon the ground.

Good heaven!

I was bred in this place, I was a boy here!

-Your lip is trembling.

-And what is that upon your cheek?

They walked on along the road,

Scrooge recognising every gate and post and tree.

Some shaggy ponies now were trotting towards them with boys upon

their backs.

PONIES NEIGH

Come on, hurry up!

Wait for me!

Why, it's Pip, and young Davey! Hello there!

These are but shadows of things that have been,

they have no consciousness of us.

But Scrooge knew and named them, every one.

Why did his cold eye glisten,

and why did his heart leap up as they went past?

Why was he filled with gladness when he heard them give each other

a "Merry Christmas" as they parted?

What was "Merry Christmas" to Scrooge?

What good had it ever done him?

That school is not quite deserted.

A solitary child, neglected by his friends, is left there still.

And there, in a melancholy room,

a lonely child sat reading by a feeble fire.

Scrooge wept to see his poor forgotten self as he used to be.

After a moment, the spirit took his hand, and on they went.

Let us see another Christmas.

To the busy thoroughfare of the city, and it was plain enough

that here was Christmas-time.

The ghost stopped at a certain warehouse door.

Do you know this place?

Why, I was apprenticed here!

Why, it's old Fezziwig! Fezziwig, alive again!

Bless his heart.

Yo-ho there, Ebenezer, Dick!

No more work tonight, it's Christmas Eve!

Clear away, lads, let's have lots of room here!

It was done in a minute.

Every movable was packed off, the floor was swept and watered,

the lamps were trimmed and the warehouse was as dry and warm and

snug and bright a ballroom as you could desire on a winter's night.

In came a fiddler and Mrs Fezziwig

and all the men and women employed in their business.

Welcome, welcome all!

FOLK MUSIC PLAYS

There were dances and forfeits.

And more dances and cakes.

And a great piece of cold roast.

Mince pies and plenty of beer.

APPLAUSE

A small matter to make these silly folks so full of gratitude.

-Small?!

-Is it not?

He has spent just a few pounds of your mortal money.

Is that so much that he deserves this praise?

It isn't that. He has the power to render us... happy.

The happiness he gives is as great as if it cost a fortune!

I...

What is the matter?

Nothing.

I should like to be able to say a word or two to my clerk just

now is all.

My time grows short. Quick!

And now Scrooge saw himself, older now, in the prime of life.

His face had begun to wear the signs of care and avarice

And by him, a fair young girl, in whose eyes there were tears.

Oh, Ebenezer, another idol has displaced me,

and if it can cheer and comfort you in time to come as I would

have tried to do, I have no just cause to grieve.

What idol?

A golden one.

But this is the dealing of the world!

There is nothing so hard as poverty.

You fear the world too much and it has changed you.

I have seen your nobler aspirations fall off one by one,

until only gain engrosses you.

I am not changed towards you.

Our contract was an old one.

It was made when we were both poor and content to be so.

When it was made, you were a changed man.

I was a boy.

That which promised happiness when we were one in heart

is fraught with misery now that we are two.

I release you from our betrothal.

Have I ever sought release?

In words, never.

In what, then?

In a changed nature, an altered spirit.

In everything that made my love of any worth or value in your sight.

Belle!

May you be happy in the life that you have chosen.

SHE SOBS

Remove me from this place.

She is married now, with a happy family of her own.

Why do you delight in torturing me?

I told you these are but shadows of things that have been.

That they are what they are, do not blame me!

I cannot bear it, take me back, haunt me no more!

Awaking in the middle of a prodigious snore,

and sitting up in bed to get his thoughts together, Scrooge had

no occasion to be told that the bell was again upon the stroke of one.

It was his own room, but transformed.

CLOCK STRIKES

The walls and ceiling were so hung with living green that it

looked a perfect grove.

Come, Ebenezer Scrooge!

And heaped upon the floor were turkeys, geese, game,

great joints of meat,

sausages, mince pies,

plum puddings and seething bowls of punch,

and there sat a jolly giant, glorious to see.

I am the Ghost of Christmas Present - look upon me!

You have never seen the like of me before!

Never. Spirit, conduct me where you will.

Tonight, if you have ought to teach me, let me profit by it.

Touch my robe.

The room, the fire, the ruddy glow, all

vanished instantly and they stood in the streets

on Christmas morning.

And they came to the threshold of Bob Cratchit's dwelling

and the spirit smiled and blessed it with a sprinkling of her torch.

And then came Mrs Cratchit, dressed out but poorly in

a twice-turned gown but brave in ribbons, and laid the cloth.

And in came Bob with Tiny Tim on his shoulder.

How did little Tim behave?

As good as gold and better.

He told me coming home that he hoped the people saw him in church

because he was a cripple, and it might be pleasant for them to

remember upon Christmas Day who made lame beggars walk and blind men see.

Oh, Tim, sometimes you think the strangest things I ever heard.

But you're growing strong and hearty, aren't you, Tim?

Strong and hearty!

And such a bustle ensued, with goose and gravy

and mashed potatoes.

And a steamed pudding.

A wonderful pudding, my dear.

It is your greatest success since our wedding day.

A merry Christmas to us all, my dears.

God bless us.

Bless us, every one.

And Bob held his withered little hand in his, as if he

loved the child and wished to keep him at his side and dreaded

that he might be taken from him.

Spirit, tell me, tell me Tiny Tim will live.

I see a vacant seat in the poor chimney corner,

and a crutch without an owner.

No, no!

If these shadows remain unaltered by the future, the child will die.

No, kind spirit, say he will be spared!

If he be like to die,

he had better do it and decrease the surplus population.

And Scrooge hung his head to hear his own words quoted by the

spirit, and was overcome with penitence and grief.

Mr Scrooge.

A toast to Mr Scrooge, a founder of the feast.

The founder of the feast, indeed(!)

I wish I had him here.

I'd give him a piece of my mind to feast upon.

Scrooge was the ogre of the family, the mention of his name cast

a dark shadow on the party for a full five minutes.

After that had passed away, they were ten times merrier than before.

They were not a handsome family, not well dressed, and their shoes

were far from being waterproof, their clothes were scanty.

But they were happy.

Grateful and happier yet in the bright sprinkling of the

spirit's torch at parting.

Scrooge had his eye upon them, especially on Tiny Tim,

until the last.

# In the bleak midwinter

# Frosty wind made moan

# Earth stood hard as iron... #

And without a word of warning from the ghost, they flew to

the deep mines of the moors where an old man sang a song from when he

was a boy, to a solitary lighthouse on which the waters chafed

and dashed, but even here, two men wished each other a Merry Christmas.

And across the heaving sea to a ship, where every man among them

hummed a Christmas tune.

And finally to the home of his nephew, Fred.

He said that Christmas was humbug, as I live.

More shame for him!

And not so pleasant as he might be.

Well, I'm sure he's very rich, Fred.

What of that?

His wealth will be of no use to him.

He don't do any good with it,

he's never going to benefit us with it.

Well, I have no patience for him.

I have. I am sorry for him.

Who suffers by his ill whims? Himself!

He takes it into his head to dislike us,

then he won't come and dine with us...

And loses himself a very good dinner.

Well, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to the old man,

wherever he is!

He wouldn't take it from me, but he may have it nonetheless!

Scrooge would have thanked his nephew,

had the ghost given him time, but they were again on their travels.

Much they saw, and far they went, and many homes they visited,

but always with a happy end.

It was a long night, and strange, for while Scrooge remained

unaltered, the ghost grew older.

Are spirits lives so short?

My life is brief, it ends tonight at midnight.

CLOCK CHIMES

Hark.

The time is drawing near.

Forgive me, but I think I see something strange protruding

from your skirts.

Aye, look here.

They were a boy and girl.

Yellow, meagre, ragged, scowling, wolfish.

Age had pinched and twisted them and pulled them into shreds.

Where angels might have sat,

devils lurked and glared out menacingly.

Are they yours?

They are Man's, they cling to me, appealing for their fathers.

This boy is Ignorance, this girl is Want.

Beware them both, but most beware the boy, for he is Doom!

Have they no refuge or resource?

Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?

And as Scrooge looked in shame to the ground,

the spirit turned from him for the last time.

CLOCK CHIMES

And lifting up his eyes, Scrooge beheld a solemn phantom,

draped and hooded, coming towards him.

The mysterious figure filled him with solemn dread,

but did not speak.

I am in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come.

You are about to show me shadows of the things that have not

happened, but will happen in the time before us, is that so?

I fear you more than any spectre I have seen.

But as I know your purpose is to do me good, and as I hope to live

to be another man from what I was,

I am prepared to bear your company and do it with a thankful heart.

Lead on, then, spirit, lead on.

The city seemed to spring up around them and the spirit stopped

beside two businessmen.

I only know he's dead.

When did he die?

Last night, I believe.

I thought he'd never die.

What have they done with all his money?

Left it to his company, perhaps.

Didn't leave it to me, that's all I know.

It's likely to be a very cheap funeral for I don't know of

anybody to go to it.

Suppose we make up a party and volunteer?

I don't mind going if lunch is provided, but I must be fed,

if I make one.

Let's hope he didn't die of anything catching.

THEY LAUGH

Spirit, show me see some tenderness connected to death,

at least.

And so they moved on,

to a churchyard, walled-in by houses,

overrun with grass and weeds.

And there a solitary figure beside a tiny grave

No? No, not the boy?

Spirit?

Are these the shadows of the things that WILL be,

or of things that MAY be, only?

Am I the man who lies in this lonely grave?

No, Spirit, oh, no, no!

Hear me, I am not the man I was.

I will not be the man I must have been but for this intercourse.

Why show me this if I am past all hope?

Pray, good Spirit, assure me that I yet may change these shadows

you have shown me by an altered life!

I WILL honour Christmas in my heart and try to keep in all the year!

I will live in the past, the present and the future.

The spirits of all three shall strive within me!

I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.

Tell me...tell me

I may sponge away the writing on this stone.

Spirit? Spirit?

Spirit?

Scrooge found himself back in his own home.

The bed was his own, the room was his own.

Best and happiest of all, the time before him was his own,

to make amends in.

I will live in the past, the present and the future!

The spirits of all three will live within me!

Oh, Jacob Marley, heaven and...

..Christmas-time be praised for this!

The shadows of the things that would have been may be dispelled!

They will be!

HE LAUGHS THEN SOBS

Oh, I don't know what to do.

I am as light as a feather.

HE LAUGHS

I'm as merry as a schoolboy.

I'm as giddy as a drunken man.

A very merry Christmas to everybody!

A Happy New Year to all the world!

Hello, there. What's today, my fine fellow?

Today? Why, it's Christmas Day!

How is that possible?

Why, the spirits have done it all in one night.

Well, of course they can.

I haven't missed it, then.

Boy, do you know the poulterer's on the corner?

I should hope I did.

An intelligent boy, a remarkable boy.

Do you know if they've sold the prize turkey that was hanging

up there?

What, the one that's as big as me? It's hanging there now.

Then go and buy it! I am in earnest.

Tell 'em to bring it here,

that I might give them the direction of where to take it.

Come with the man and I will give you a shilling.

Yes, sir!

I'll send it to Bob Cratchit's.

HE LAUGHS

He won't know who sent it!

It's twice the size of Tiny Tim!

Scrooge was early at the office next morning.

If only he could only be there first,

and catch Bob Cratchit coming late.

And he did.

Bob was a full 18 minutes and a half behind his time.

Hello...

What do you mean by coming here at this time of day?

I am very sorry, sir, I am behind my time.

Yes, I think you are.

It's only once a year, sir.

It shall not be repeated, I was making rather merry yesterday, sir.

I tell you what, my friend, I am not going to stand for this sort

of thing any longer.

And therefore, I am going to raise your salary.

Sir?

Merry Christmas, Bob!

HE LAUGHS

A merrier Christmas, my good fellow, than I have given you for many

a year.

I'll raise your salary and endeavour to assist your struggling

family and we will discuss your affairs this very afternoon

over a Christmas bowl of smoking bishop!

Scrooge was better than his word.

He did it all, and infinitely more, and to Tiny Tim...

..who did not die...

..he was a second father.

He became as good a friend, as good a master,

and as good a man as the good, old city knew

Some people laughed at his alteration

and he let them laugh and little heeded them.

His own heart laughed and that was good enough for him.

He had no further intercourse with spirits.

And it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well...

If any man possessed the knowledge.

May that be truly said of all of us.

Merry Christmas.

And, as Tiny Tim observed...

God bless us, every one.

# God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay

# Remember Christ our Saviour was born on Christmas Day

# To save us all from Satan's power

# Where we were gone astray

# O, tidings of comfort and joy Comfort and joy

# Oh, tidings of comfort and joy

# Now to the Lord sing praises, all you within this place

# And with true love and brotherhood each other now embrace

# This holy tide of Christmas

# All other doth deface

# O tidings of comfort and joy Comfort and joy

# O tidings of comfort and joy. #

APPLAUSE

AUDIENCE: Bravo! Bravo!