Girls and Boys Doctors

Hi, Gina, it's Karen Hollins, again.

Did you get any of my messages?

Cos we were hoping you were going to put a care package together

for Adam and his mum, and we still haven't heard anything.

DOOR OPENS

Oh.

Hey, how was school?

Oh, that good?

I got a detention for, like, nothing today.

My maths teacher said the answer to this question was 42.

She was wrong, it was even in the back of the book.

But when I tell her she's an idiot...

-You told your teacher she was an idiot?

-She IS an idiot.

My friends were just as bad.

It's like they were going out of their way to annoy me.

This one girl spent the whole day in tears.

-Maybe something bad had happened?

-No.

When I asked her what was wrong, she said she couldn't even

remember why she'd started crying in the first place.

-It's not funny.

-I know, you've had a tough day. Go on,

get yourself changed and I'll make you a drink.

You got any Hobnobs?

Go on, off you go.

PHONE RINGS

Come on.

Pick up, pick up.

Oh, not seen that one before. I loved him on Strictly.

Talking of nifty steps, I know you're hiding them.

-Oh, sorry, we're all out.

-Really?

-Really?

-No! Not having them!

No!

It's good to be home.

Um, by the way, your mum rang and she wanted to know how you were

getting on, so I said you were driving us nuts, obviously.

So would you give her a ring, please?

-KNOCK ON DOOR

-Yep?

-Hi, I'm sorry to disturb you.

-No, no.

-I need a favour.

Can you cover my last couple of appointments?

-Yeah, something wrong?

-Long story.

-OK, well, I'm here if you need to talk.

-Thanks.

School's OK, nothing to tell.

I've wanted to come and see you. I've just been so busy, it's...

So how have YOU been?

Are you able to do a little bit more?

Dress yourself, and...?

Yeah, I know.

Anyway, I've got loads, loads of homework, so...

Yeah, I love you too.

You OK?

-Right, get your coat.

-What?

-We're going out.

-You never said.

-It's a surprise.

-Is it somewhere fancy?

-Should I get changed?

-No, you're all right as you are.

-YOU could smarten up a bit.

-Oi.

Cheeky!

Hello.

Have you been sitting in the dark all day?

Oh, Ayesha.

I've lost them both, Emma.

I know.

-Sorry for turning up like that last night.

-Don't be silly.

I'll sort something, I'll find somewhere.

You will not. That room belongs to you.

And besides, I've missed you.

Thanks.

Hey, it'll be just like the old days with Sid out, just us two girls.

Actually, Lena's coming over.

But don't worry, I'll cancel her.

No, why should you cancel YOUR plans? Anyway, I like Lena.

You sure?

Yeah.

Let's crack open that wine.

Hiya. You must be Shelley? I'm Karen, this is Adam.

All right.

What are we doing here?

Seriously?

-What?

-So you're the foster kid?

-Yeah.

-It's ever so kind of you to let us come over.

Danny said you would be the person to help.

-Who are these people?

-I told you, Mum.

You don't remember, do you?

What are you gawping at?

I'm so sorry, we're disturbing your tea.

Shut up and eat, will you? It took me long enough to make.

-Should we sit, or...?

-Suit yourself. I've got to get a wash on,

-sort out Mum's pills.

-Oh. Would you like a hand?

I could make us all a cuppa?

Ooh, wonder where the teabags are?

-I know what you're up to.

-I just thought it would be a good idea

for you to meet a young carer, and Shelley seems very nice.

-Milk and sugar?

-Milk.

-So are you at school or college?

-Farmleigh High. You?

Um, I'm at school, yeah.

I kind of guessed that. Which one?

He's at Park Head.

Are these all for your mum?

Yeah.

I hope she doesn't kick off as usual. We have to get going.

Going where?

Something else you didn't mention?

The whole thing's such a mess.

-Did I even do the right thing?

-Ayesha, you've given your mum

-so many chances.

-Yeah, but where's she going to go?

I don't know.

But you can't keep beating yourself up about her mistakes.

And Tyler?

I really liked him.

I thought he might be the one, you know.

Yeah, I know.

Should I have broken up with him?

That's a hard one. Clearly, he went about things the wrong way.

He paid my mum to stay away from me.

But he did it to protect you.

So you think he was right?

In my mind, I think he did the wrong thing,

but for all the right reasons.

DOORBELL RINGS

That'll be Lena.

-I'm not having those ones.

-Don't start.

-They make me sick.

-Mum, you know you have to take them.

I said no!

-Oh, love, I'm sorry.

-Doesn't matter.

Just as well I hoovered.

-Tea.

-Ta. Take a glug of that,

you won't even taste them.

-She's a good girl, really.

-Aww.

-You should hear what she calls me

the rest of the time.

Remember, I've got my youth group.

-Have you?

-I've told Anita next door.

Here's her number if you need her to come and sit with you.

Don't start buzzing me about your soaps, all right?

Shall we get going?

-Are you OK?

-I want to go home.

Danny said you'd give us a lift.

-I've missed my bus now.

-It's just some dumb youth club.

-Says the dumb kid.

-I said that I would give Shelley a lift.

What about me, what I want?

We're going. End of.

Now, I know you prefer a crisp - some might say wimpy - white,

but I weighed up the health benefits and the red wins hands down.

You know, less sugar and the whole carotenoids thing.

OK. Ah, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Come on, you're not going to drink after that pitch?

-Yeah, but you just assumed I was drinking.

-Yeah.

If I smash the whole bottle myself, then it unbalances

the whole health benefits.

OK, one glass for your good health.

And to YOUR good health, my fine fellow!

Cheers.

Mmm.

Red.

This is nice, isn't it? Just like old times.

Yeah.

Might need another bottle.

Oh, wow, look at this place.

It's all right.

-Good to see you again.

-Hi.

-Danny, man responsible for this chaos.

I'm also Shelley's support worker. Karen's probably filled you in?

-Not really.

-Thanks ever so much for doing this for us.

-It's been really helpful.

-No worries. Shelley's a great girl.

I thought she'd be a good person for Adam to meet.

Yeah, they're getting on like a house on fire.

Why don't I show you around? Don't be shy.

Anything takes your fancy, have a go.

We've got karaoke over here.

Not really my thing.

More a street-dance man?

Nah, you're all right.

If a guy can't be straight with you, then what's the point?

Deciding when I can and can't see my own mum.

Yeah, but this is Bren we're talking about.

Yeah, but what's next - clothes, money?

I'd rather be single forever than any of that.

Hear, hear.

That's why I hate being tied to him with this debt.

It's going to take me ages to pay it back.

Why pay him back at all?

I mean, it was Bren who stole from Tyler.

Yeah, and from what you've said, he was effectively enabling

your mum's addiction. His loss.

-No, it wouldn't feel right.

-So what are you going to do?

Speak to the bank, beg for a loan.

They'll charge you a tonne of interest.

Yeah, but what other choice have I got?

I could loan you the money.

What?

Well, just stick it on top of the rent. You can pay it back monthly,

no interest.

-You're the best.

-Yeah, well, I'll drink to that.

Aw.

-Thanks, Em.

-Aww.

-How was your veggie option?

-It was good, yeah.

Don't look so surprised.

You know they say going veggie is a MISSED STEAK?

And life is supposed to be for the living.

I totally agree.

Hang on, what's happened to the cynical Jimmi we all know and love?

-Something different about you.

-Yeah?

Yeah, I'm trying to put my finger on it.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.

Yeah, me too. Today, for example, I worked out that Tuesday

-is the most productive day of the week.

-Yeah?

Yeah, well, Friday - you're just thinking about the weekend.

Everybody hates Mondays - so much they wrote a song about it.

-Wednesday - you get the midweek slump.

-What about Thursday?

I forgot about Thursday. Thursday - you're thinking about Friday,

aren't you? There you go.

What if you don't feel productive ANY day of the week?

I'm afraid you're a partner, you're not allowed to say that.

That's part of the problem. I'm not sure my heart's in it.

-Oh, well, just take the money and run.

-Like you did with your app?

Yeah. That was a rare philanthropic moment.

Yeah, maybe.

Or maybe, just like me, you can't get your head around the whole

business mentality of putting money before patients.

I tell you, there are some patients I would pay not to have to see.

Don't get me started. The whole thing with Anthony still bothers me.

Yeah, but you know, silver linings. You've now got Mrs Tembe,

-haven't you?

-Yeah, and there's Daniel and Zara.

The arch-capitalists. But say what you want about Anthony,

he knew how to pull the wool over their eyes.

He appealed to their baser selves.

-Vanity.

-Exactly. Some people are really that simple.

But you, on the other hand...

Thank you, that was delightful.

-Everyone here's a young carer?

-Yeah. It's good for them to be able

to share their experiences, talk to others in the same boat.

We offer advice, training on things like wellbeing, first aid,

healthy eating. So it's an important resource as well as a break

for these kids.

-For some, the only one they get.

-Once a week.

-I wish. We've only got the funds to run this monthly.

-No?

-That's such a shame!

-Well, we do the odd day out and respite care

where we can, but you can see why this means so much to them.

MUSIC STARTS

Right, that's my cue. Sure you won't change your mind about joining in?

OK! Let's start off with a hop and, at the same time, bring your hands

in front of you.

Go on!

And push off that foot back to centre and do the same thing

in reverse.

And repeat!

Quicken up. Good!

Ah, look at Shelley, she's great!

OK, and now we're going to take the right foot forward.

Oh, you normally love this stuff!

Back to centre.

All this sudden altruism. Rosie, for instance.

It's not altruism, I'm supporting her after what she's been through.

It's good she's agreed to go to counselling and you'll be there

-to see her through it.

-Yeah, well, I'm not going to be around forever.

None of us are, mate. Hey, Mark Twain.

What?

Mark Twain is born the same year that Halley's Comet comes

to the Earth and he says, "I will leave when it comes back again."

-Did he?

-Yeah, course he did. 76 years later, comet comes back

and he dies of a heart attack a few hours later. Genius.

And that is relevant to me how?

Well, specifically, I'm not sure it is, but I think it's

in the general spirit of, you know, let's all eat, drink and be merry.

Right.

Or we could delve into the muddy quagmire that is

human relationships.

Now you're talking.

Tell me everything.

You should have seen her face! She thought she'd won!

Until we pulled out the piece de resistance.

Oh, yeah, the video! So there was the video with everything,

everything that she'd tried to deny.

Oh, I wish I'd been there!

High-five for girl power.

Doesn't guarantee she'll do the right thing.

No, but at least she's been true to her word.

She's got in some sexism ambassadors.

Oh, they've got their work cut out for them.

What do they actually do, these ambassadors?

Oh, I don't know, play fun exercises or something to challenge

-people's thinking.

-You mean they tell a bunch of pumped-up guys

how to play nice?

-Oh, so cynical and for one so young!

-Let's just drink some more wine.

-Hurrah!

-Hurrah!

-Hurrah to more wine!

Hurrah!

What are you planning on doing when you leave school?

Social work. I know, you're thinking I'd have had enough.

I was wondering about your mum.

Yeah, no chance of me escaping.

I'm sorry, I...

Danny got us a place at the local college. It's mad.

Only a few years back, I was nearly kicked out of school.

How long have you been looking after your mum?

My dad did a runner when I was five.

For years, it was just the two of us.

-How come nobody knew?

-Mum would go mental if I had anyone round

-and my mates wouldn't get it.

-Oh, but you don't know that

for sure.

Most kids are totally clueless, obsessed with the latest tech,

some rubbish pop act.

So what's up with your mum?

Adam. You don't have to answer that.

She's bipolar.

Gets depressed, has these anxiety attacks.

But she's not disabled. I mean, she can still do stuff.

-See what I mean?

-I'm not stupid.

Your mum's not totally dependent. She doesn't need you to, like,

-wipe her bum.

-Adam!

-Do you know what it's like to spend a whole day

at school wondering if she's turned the gas off, blown up the house?

I've had her wake up the whole street at five in the morning

-bashing on doors.

-I'm sorry.

Once, she decided to jump from the top window.

Had to be sectioned to stop her killing herself.

Will that do you?

I didn't know!

I didn't know.

Do I regret marrying Cherry?

Yeah, we just weren't compatible.

And Heather?

Oh, come on. What is this, the third degree?

That was a really messed-up time in my life, wasn't it? So...

-Your turn.

-Me? I never regret anything I do,

-least of all relationships.

-Right.

-Jas?

-Ah.

-Mel?

-Hmm.

-Niamh?

Well, you know...

You miss her?

Odd occasion.

The one that got away?

Yours?

I don't know.

What's the name of that police woman?

Eva.

Eva.

-Can we just go?!

-Not without saying goodbye to Shelley.

She won't talk to me.

# I'm here, just like I said

# Though I'm breaking every rule I've ever made

# My racing heart is just the same

# Why make it strong to break it once again? #

Go on! If that's not an olive branch....

Go on!

# And I'd love to say I do... #

-BOTH:

-# Give everything to you

# But I can never now be true

# So I say

# I think I better leave right now before I fall any deeper. #

SHELLEY'S PHONE RINGS

Not really a singer, eh?

# I'm feeling weaker and weaker

# Somebody better show me how... #

Is everything OK?

# I think I better leave right now. #

APPLAUSE

One of my boyfriends got his mum to dump me.

You're joking?

I thought he was perfect, but actually he was gutless.

-Aren't they all?

-When was this?

-1985.

Hang on, so you would have been 12!

He was the year above. I should have known better!

Well, I once dumped someone in their sleep.

What?

I was seeing this guy who talked in his sleep and he kept banging on

-about my friend who he was in love with.

-What, seriously?

Yeah, and then he didn't understand why I didn't want to talk to him

-the next day!

-Sounds like a loser.

Even in their sleep, men are morons!

Oh, no, come on. There's got to be some decent ones out there.

AYESHA SIGHS

Yeah, well, you can't go back, can you? Change the past.

Not without a Time And Relative Dimension In Space device,

otherwise known as a TARDIS.

Sorry, you're talking, I'm listening. Go on, talk.

It made me realise something, why I keep repeating the same mistakes

-over and over.

-No, no, I'm not having that.

It's not your fault that Cherry and Heather were such harpies!

Sorry. Pray continue.

I pushed Cherry away, made it impossible for her.

If you can't love yourself, it's pretty hard for someone else to.

You're such a sensitive soul, it touches me very deeply.

Come on. I'm trying to be serious here.

Did you read that on the back of some greeting card or something?

There is only so much navel-gazing that we can do.

Relationships will always be the biggest conundrum the universe has

for us.

Now who's talking in cliches?

I've got one for you.

It's really difficult for someone else to make you happy

if you can't make yourself happy.

In other words, you're much better off just having a nice night out

with a mate. You know, a like-minded soul.

You reckon?

I love you, Jimmi.

I love you too.

No, seriously, I don't know what I'd do without you.

The neighbour says Mum's freaking out, wants me there.

-Can you take Shelley home?

-I'll get the car.

I can't leave now, but I'll call as soon as I'm finished,

check everything's OK.

-Thanks.

-I'll phone your mum's CPN first thing tomorrow,

ask her to pay a visit.

-Fun's over.

-I'm sorry about your mum.

-You weren't bad up there.

-For a dumb kid.

Anyway, I thought you'd hate that song.

I do.

-Can I ask you a question?

-Maybe now's not the time.

It's all right.

Do you ever, like, resent your mum,

wish things were different?

Of course. You've seen her.

But she did it for me when I was a baby, so I owe her.

-I'm sorry about tonight.

-Sorry about what?

Well, you know, it's been a bit volatile.

Poor girl's had her heart broken.

Besides, that's what happens when you take in all these waifs

and strays. You're practically a public service.

No, it's not like that.

I'm only teasing.

You're a good woman, Dr Reid.

MUSIC NEXT DOOR: Girls And Boys by Blur

-What IS going on?!

-Come on!

I've missed this! I love Girls And Boys!

Yeah, I've missed them too!

-Honestly, I've had it with men!

-Yeah, well, I'll drink to that.

No, seriously though, I'm thinking about swapping to the other side.

-Oh, really?

-How about you two?

Could shack up tonight!

-Actually, I should get a cab.

-Oh, OK.

Oh.

-Oh, well.

-Ruined your night.

-No, you haven't.

Yes, I have, I always do. I always just go a bit too far.

Will you stop beating yourself up?

Oh, God, this is what she does. I'm just like her.

No, you're not. You're nothing like your mother.

No? Had a gorgeous bloke...

and then I blew it.

Come on. Time for you to go to bed.

No. I thought he was the real deal, Emma.

I know. We always think they're the real deal.

Ooh!

Oh, I am cream-crackered.

Bet you are too.

Good though, no?

I know what you're doing. You want me to go and be with my mum.

Adam, I don't want you to go.

I just...

I wanted to show you that I think you can do it with help.

I know it's scary and I know that it's not what you and your

mum planned, but you can't hide out here forever and pretend

that it's not happening. She needs you.

OK.

So I think that this is from Gina.

-She must have dropped it round.

-What does it say?

Can you pass me my glasses?

So it's a care plan.

She's suggesting the carers pay a set number of visits every day,

take care of your mum's needs.

Do things like dressing her and taking care of personal needs.

So I won't have to do that?

No, but it's not a magic wand. There will still be lots of things

-that you're going to have to do for her.

-Like what?

-Like cleaning and stuff?

-Cooking.

I'm a Bake Off expert. I make the best Victoria sponge.

Adam, there's going to be loads of changes for you.

-When do I have to decide?

-We'll talk it all through next week

when we go to Norfolk. Bit of sea air.

What are you going to tell Gina in the meantime?

I don't want Mum to think that I'm...

Oh, she knows how much you love her, and that's the most important thing.

Your parents are supposed to be the ones who understand you

above all others, but not mine.

Yes, my dad leaves a message on the answerphone and he somehow

manages to fit the G word in.

G word?

Grandchildren. I have half a mind to disown him.

-Like

-I

-did?

-Sorry.

-No, it's fine.

I still owe you a debt for what you did.

-No regrets.

-Nope.

Couldn't see it at the time, but...

..clearly something was coming to an end, and I can't keep blaming

my dad for all the bad decisions I've made in my life.

-Sure.

-I've got my own house in order.

OK.

You're starting to sound just a teensy little bit Christian, there.

Right, well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about because

I'm moving on, I've discovered something else.

Oh, thank goodness, cos, I tell you, I'd had that religiosity up to here.

I know you, I know you really well, and you are not in the God squad.

Sorry, you were going to say something, go on.

Um, yeah, I just...

-Time's getting on, maybe we should get the bill.

-Yeah, yeah.

You need your beauty sleep. Garcon?

-Come on.

-Do you need a hand?

I think I've got it, but thanks.

-What are you doing?

-Texting Tyler.

-Do you really think that's a good idea?

-Mm-hm.

-Come on.

I tell you what, why don't you sleep on it and see how you feel

in the morning? I'm just going to give it to Lena for safekeeping.

-(Thank you.

-No problem.)

Come on! You'll thank me in the morning.

-I won't thank you in the morning.

-Yes, you will, yes, you will.

I thought that the doctors might get...

Seriously?

-Have a good day pushing your drugs.

-And you, pushing your pen.

-Something's come up, so I need to get out.

-Really?

It's not really a request.

Slow burn, sustainable success. That's the Holy Grail.

If you build it, they will come.

What is this "we"?

Two out of the three partners weren't even consulted.

Two out of the three partners weren't even here.