Granimosity Doctors


Granimosity

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-Right. Well, when do they need it?

-What are these?

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They're party bags.

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-Well, why can't she do it herself?

-Party bags?!

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No, I told Liam last night.

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-What on earth am I supposed to do with these?!

-Mum, put them down.

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Well, there's no way I can make this afternoon,

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so tell her they'll just have to wait.

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Why on Earth have you bought all this food?

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Fine, I'll tell her myself.

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-You know, I do go to the shops every day, Chloe.

-It's what he asked for.

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-Thomas, are you ready?

-Everything's always the last minute!

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-June will be here soon.

-Whatever for?

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-To give you a hand.

-Oh!

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Mum. Please. Just try and be nice.

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I'm not a child, you know?

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Thomas?

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We'll never do all of this in a week.

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-Ooh, what about this one?

-Chiusi? It's quite built up.

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-Oh, OK. Pi...

-Pisa. A long way from the villa.

-Pienza.

-Oh, Pienza.

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-Mm. 15th century.

-Lovely, idyllic. The view from the Palazzo...

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It looks gorgeous.

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Gorgeous is the word. And you're in the middle of wine country there.

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-You can't miss the Leaning Tower of Pisa though?

-Well, you can.

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I could do a photo like this.

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Please!

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If you must, but we have to visit the vineyards.

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-There is more to life than booze, you know?

-Booze?

-Yah, booze!

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Well, we really have more than enough already.

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You can never have too much, I always say,

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especially with children.

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Ooh!

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Right. There's fairy cakes, and some flapjacks.

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-Actually, we're trying to give up sugar.

-And pasta salad.

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-We've already got that.

-Yes, but you can't beat homemade now, can you?

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Cheese straws, and some chicken drumsticks.

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Really, you didn't need to go to all this trouble, June.

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Don't be silly, Gloria. What are grannies for?

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Hm.

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KNOCK AT DOOR

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Er... Come in.

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Oh, Dr Haskey. I had to sign for these from St Phil's.

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-Thank you.

-May I ask, how is your mother?

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Oh, yeah. I rang her and...she seems pretty much the same.

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-Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

-I'll go and see her.

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Soon.

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You know, it is very important that you stay positive.

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Great(!)

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What is wrong?

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More bad news to pass on.

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I should have done some sausage rolls really.

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There are sausages here.

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-And what about pop?

-Oh, no. No fizzy drinks.

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-Not in this day and age.

-Never did mine any harm.

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Well, are you sure, dear? Perhaps they were just big boned.

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-Nanny!

-Aw! How's my little Tommy then?

-Thomas!

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-Happy birthday, sweetheart.

-I'm starving.

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-Steady on.

-There you go.

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-Get yourself a plate.

-Oh, let him be.

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-It's his birthday.

-This looks lovely.

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Well, there's miles too much, of course.

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Mine's the homemade.

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-Well, you've got to make the effort.

-Come on, let's get you washed.

-Mum!

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Tommy.

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Aw, bless him. Spitting image of his dad, he is.

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I thought you said it was going to be warm.

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Well, it can get a bit chilly in the evenings.

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-Shall I put my thermal vest in then?

-That's not quite what I had in mind.

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Ooh, and these. These will be OK?

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-Are you planning on jogging?

-No, for the sightseeing.

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-I thought we could do something a bit more relaxing.

-Such as?

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The simple pleasures - food, landscapes, the light.

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-Hey, how far are we from Rome?

-Oh, good Lord, no.

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OK, Florence then. I know that is not far.

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-True.

-And then, you can finally show me

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-the "Uffizi and the Ponte Vecchio".

-Well done.

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Thank you.

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-Why ever did you get a shop bought one?

-This is a carrot cake, dear.

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-Not a Victoria sponge.

-My sponge is second to none.

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-Remember the wedding cake?

-Five pounds of raisins I put in there!

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It was huge.

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It lasted longer than the marriage.

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What? Stop it!

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Strawberry flan. That was always my Ian's favourite.

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Oh, where is he, that boy of yours?

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Aberdeen, of course.

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What's he doing there?

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He's working, Mum. He's been there four years.

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And on his own son's birthday!

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He's very upset about it, but he can't just drop everything.

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Well, he dropped his wife and child, didn't he?

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-Mum, you know that's not true.

-He's got a very responsible job.

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-Oh, and I haven't?

-Responsible, huh!

-And what is that supposed to mean?

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-DOORBELL RINGS

-Ooh, shall I get that, dear?

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Thomas will get it. Thomas, can you come down?

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-After everything he's done.

-Well, money isn't everything.

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Can we just drop it now, please?

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Mum?

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-Aberdeen?!

-What's wrong, love?

-Is he all right?

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Thomas?

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Oh!

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You're not taking all those, are you?

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-I am there longer than you, remember?

-Tuscany By The Glass?

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Yes, that's one of Charles'.

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Although, probably don't need it now, do I?

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It's such a shame Mrs Tembe made a fool of him.

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He made a fool of himself.

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Ah, perhaps.

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Now, I have a case scale somewhere.

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He can seem a bit full of himself.

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-You should have seen him in the old days.

-Yeah, well, I'm glad I didn't.

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-People do change.

-Yeah, for the better.

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-Maybe there is more to Mrs Tembe than we think.

-In what way?

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-Well, maybe she has a hidden streak, bit of a wild side.

-Mrs Tembe?

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-There must be. I mean, if you think about it...

-Oh, no! I'd rather not!

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Oh, I am so sorry, but we are closed.

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-Perhaps you'd like to make an appointment.

-He keeps being sick.

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We need to see a doctor.

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Right. Dr Haskey. I don't suppose that you can see this young man?

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I'm really worried, Doctor. He's been really sick.

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-All right, come on through.

-Thank you.

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-If you ladies would like to take a seat...

-Excuse me.

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Right. And there was no sign before that?

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-No, I don't think so.

-He was fine this morning.

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-Poor chap. It's not the best way to spend your birthday, is it?

-So?

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I think it might be a case of the old food poisoning.

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-What?!

-Very mild food poisoning.

-Oh, no!

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There! I knew it!

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-Knew what?

-It's all that stuff she brought round this morning.

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-There was nothing wrong with that food.

-Maybe not when you made it...

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-When was that?

-Yesterday.

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-There. You see?

-Not that I get any gratitude!

-Gratitude?!

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-Will you please just shut up?

-Well!

-I'm only trying to help!

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Can you tell them?

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Yeah, um, perhaps it would be best if half of us left the room.

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It's this half right here.

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Come on, out you go. Reception's that way.

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Phew!

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Must be in the house somewhere. I had on my last trip.

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You don't think Shak or Alia have got it, do you?

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-DOORBELL RINGS

-Why would they?

-I don't know. You tell me.

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I'll get that, shall I?

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It's like the time we spent half the evening looking for that

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remote control, or when we couldn't find the backdoor key.

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Oh! Right.

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OK.

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And we need some proper tea cos they've only got that

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American rubbish over there.

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Oh.

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-Charles.

-Er, I'll go and make some tea, shall I?

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Have you got a moment?

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-You might as well go to lunch.

-Are you sure?

-Yes.

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-Can I bring you anything?

-Er, no, thank you. I have...

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Well, I have made arrangements.

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Right, Thomas, I've got a job for you.

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-You need to drink as much water as you possibly can.

-Do I have to?

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Thanks.

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-Are you OK?

-Yeah, I'm fine. It's just those two.

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Is that normal?

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Well, they've never really got on, but this is getting stupid.

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-Mm. Grandmother rivalry.

-No, it's just Mum.

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She's getting worse all the time, with everybody.

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Right. I do need to speak to her actually.

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You've had her results?

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-Could you get her to make an appointment with me?

-I'm really hot.

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Come on, love.

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Right. Mind how you go.

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Right.

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Lunch.

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-I was such an oaf.

-I wouldn't say that, just a bit clumsy, that's all.

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I had no idea she was friendly with the chap.

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-Yes, that was rather unfortunate.

-But I really didn't mean any harm.

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So, do you think there's any way back?

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-She can be very decisive, single-minded.

-Stupid man!

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-Ever since the divorce...

-Stubborn, even, at times.

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..I've just been such a clown with women.

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It's one false dawn after another.

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But I really believed there was a chance this time.

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-You know, some common ground, something to build on, you know.

-I thought so too.

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And you're sure there's nothing I could do to make amends?

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Sorry, Charles. I think she's made her choice.

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Wotcha!

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How's all going then? All right? Not bad here, is it?

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Look, I am so sorry. This is a mistake.

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I do not know what I was thinking. Me asking you out - it is...

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-Look, I think we should just both...

-It's par for the course.

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Don't worry.

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What is?

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Women. Asking me out. Happens all the time.

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Shall we?

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I've never been so embarrassed in all my life!

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There is nothing wrong with this food.

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Then why is my grandson lying in his bed on his birthday?

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It was all fresh.

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We're lucky, I suppose. I mean, it could have been worse.

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It could have been half the school.

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-This is it. This is the stuff.

-It was no such thing!

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That's been stagnating in your fridge.

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-It was not!

-And these? What were you thinking of?

-They're organic!

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I'd be surprised if they're even chicken.

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-Oh!

-Well? I told her this. I said you were as bad as each other.

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Who, might I ask?

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Well, you and your son. I mean, it's one thing after another.

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Oh, this is Ian's fault now, is it?

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You know, it's Thomas I feel sorry for.

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-It was your daughter who wanted a divorce.

-Well, can you blame her?

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She hardly saw him.

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And who do you think's still paying for this house?

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Keeping a roof over your head!

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Oh, I see! Well, it all makes sense now!

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-What does?

-Well, you want this house!

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That's why you're poisoning us!

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-What did you say?

-Well, you've done it this time.

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You meant it, I'll have to call the police!

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-Oh!

-What's going on?

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June?

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-The truth hurts!

-What have you said to her?

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-And take your chicken legs with you!

-Oh!

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What...?

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Er...

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-How about tuna, or something?

-I... I am not really very hungry.

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Oh, come on. There's must be something here to tempt you.

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Apart from me!

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Right, well, steak for me. And it better still be mooing!

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You know, this was your idea.

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I know.

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-I know. I did try to explain...

-So, at least have a drink, eh?

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All right.

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Well, I will have an orange juice and a green salad.

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Yes, that's it.

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So, is this your regular then?

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No, not really. It's just convenient for the surgery.

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So, are all your mates down here then?

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What about the opera then? Cracking night, eh?

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Yes. Yes, I did enjoy it.

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I thought the baritone was a bit off at times,

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but you can't beat old Mozart for tunes.

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No, you cannot.

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Heston, you know me. I am not a snob.

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Any more. But to be fair, a porter, for goodness' sake!

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I can't find the scale.

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It doesn't do an awful lot for one's self esteem.

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I'm sure he's really nice.

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Oh, no doubt he is, though I do have to say, he doesn't look it.

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-Not everyone does.

-But what could they possibly have in common?

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-A woman like that!

-Have you packed the tea?

-Which one?

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There's about ten different kinds in there.

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Perhaps I should take a leaf out of your book, old man. Take a holiday.

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-Good idea, Charles. Nice break. Change of scenery.

-Mm.

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-But not much fun on your own though.

-Oh, I don't know.

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What about the villa?

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-Sorry?

-You could come to Tuscany.

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-Oh, I couldn't possibly impose.

-Oh, no. Not with us.

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Heston's staying on there a bit longer, aren't you?

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Are you really?

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Yeah, cos I've got to come back for the kids.

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-Yes, but...

-And you can both go to the vineyards together.

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-I think it'd be perfect.

-Well, of course.

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-That would be marvellous!

-Are you serious?

-Of course.

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Thank you.

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So, you go out a lot then, do you, to the opera or whatever?

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No, not really.

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I am usually busy. I do not have the time.

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Oh, right.

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-Anyway, you're obviously not from round here.

-Botswana.

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And you? What is a Londoner doing in Letherbridge?

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You know? Have bike will travel!

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Never thought about settling down?

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-Now and again, but I told you about the kids?

-Yes.

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-Yes, you said you were married, yes?

-Yeah, been there, done that.

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I never really took to it though.

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-Right, so you have a problem with commitment?

-No, no. Just monogamy.

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And you?

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One thing I should tell you though up front.

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I was a bit of a naughty boy, going back.

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Oh, good grief!

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Did a bit of time. Nicking cars, joyriding.

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It was all kids' stuff really.

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Look, so, there you go. A rebel without a cause.

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But look at me now, eh? All grown up.

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Well, after a fashion.

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-Well, I've never trusted that woman.

-Mum!

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Swanning in here, taking the place over.

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She was only trying to help.

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Ian this, Ian that. That great big lump.

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-Anyone would think that the sun shone out of his...

-Mum!

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He was my husband!

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I never ever saw what you saw in him.

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Did you buy these?

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I've no idea.

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-Well, did you or not? Because I didn't.

-Chloe, what's your problem?

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Well, they're ten days out of date.

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Oh, I suppose that's my fault too, is it?

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Just... Just look after Thomas for me, will you?

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Thank you.

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-What about old Gupta? Big cheese at St Phil's.

-Oh, he's just a friend.

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Funny, I thought he was more your cup of tea, really.

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Let's face it. We're not exactly made for each other, are we?

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Why would you say that?

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Well, I'm not much of a catch. For someone like you, I mean.

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What do you mean, "someone like me"?

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Proper. Respectable. An upright, model citizen.

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Yes. I like to think so.

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And here's me, some scruffbag biker,

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not the sort of chap you take home to mother now, am I?

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You can just see me, can't you?

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In my leathers, walking oil all over the carpet!

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So, have you always owned a bike?

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Or are you just going through some kind of midlife crisis?

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Oi, saucy!

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-So, do you just own the one?

-A couple, as it goes.

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Plus various bits and pieces, scattered around mates' garages.

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-I'm what you call a man of many parts.

-So, it is a hobby?

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It's my life.

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It's the one thing I've always been good at.

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Did you build that one yourself? The one on the internet?

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Hey, been having a crafty peek, have we? A sneak preview!

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No, I just noticed some very impressive modifications.

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-What? The colour?

-No!

0:18:570:18:59

-So, what brake horsepower is it?

-The engine or the back wheel?

0:18:590:19:03

Well, with those modifications,

0:19:030:19:05

I would imagine it is a 60 horsepower at the back wheel.

0:19:050:19:10

65, actually.

0:19:100:19:12

That's very impressive.

0:19:120:19:14

So, where did that come from?

0:19:140:19:18

Well, I am a woman of many parts.

0:19:180:19:23

I'm really sorry. It was Mum's mistake, not yours.

0:19:280:19:32

-I'm ever so sorry.

-What was it then?

-Sausages.

0:19:320:19:36

-It should be her who's apologising then, not you.

-I know.

0:19:360:19:39

-I know she's your mother, Chloe, but that was uncalled for.

-Yes, it was.

0:19:390:19:44

Talking to me like that. It's disgusting!

0:19:440:19:47

She didn't have one civil word for me all day.

0:19:470:19:50

And to start accusing me of a thing like that!

0:19:500:19:53

Come on, sshh.

0:19:530:19:54

Oh!

0:19:540:19:56

Come on. Let's hear it.

0:19:590:20:02

My father was a mechanic. He had his own business.

0:20:020:20:06

So, you did have oil on the carpet.

0:20:060:20:08

I used to work with him every day after school. Salvaging parts.

0:20:080:20:13

-In Botswana, nothing is wasted.

-So, you learned the trade?

-Mm.

0:20:130:20:17

We used to strip engines together every day,

0:20:170:20:20

right down to the last bolt.

0:20:200:20:21

And of course, when I put them back together again,

0:20:210:20:24

there was always something left.

0:20:240:20:27

And he said to me, "Start again."

0:20:270:20:31

-Good man. What sort?

-Mostly small two-stroke engines.

0:20:310:20:36

-We did have bigger ones, 600s.

-Japanese?

0:20:360:20:39

-And 650s.

-Did you give it a re-bore?

0:20:390:20:41

-Of course. Adjusted the tappets.

-Screws or buckets?

0:20:410:20:44

Old school screws and locknuts, of course.

0:20:440:20:47

It was wonderful.

0:20:500:20:51

We used to go out together first thing in the morning before

0:20:510:20:54

going to school...

0:20:540:20:55

-So, if one were to take the tour...

-Mm-hm.

0:20:550:20:57

..where would be the best place to start?

0:20:570:21:00

-Anywhere around Siena, really.

-Cheers. Cheers.

0:21:000:21:03

-Montepulciano?

-Chianti.

-Ah, is that close by?

0:21:060:21:09

About an hour or so.

0:21:090:21:12

Very nice.

0:21:120:21:13

-I found a lovely vineyard along the way.

-Lots of body.

0:21:130:21:18

Now, where was it? There was a chapel.

0:21:180:21:20

There were ruins on the left.

0:21:200:21:22

It'd be rather like that film. You know, those two chaps in California.

0:21:220:21:26

Asciano. They have this lovely Nobile Riserva. Sumptuous, in fact.

0:21:260:21:30

You know, this reminds me of the other one. Not the Barolo, the um...

0:21:300:21:33

Brunello.

0:21:330:21:35

-Of course.

-The Big Three.

0:21:350:21:37

For that, you'd have to go to Montalcino,

0:21:370:21:40

which is a treat in itself. It's a beautiful place.

0:21:400:21:43

It is?

0:21:430:21:44

Yes, we'd have to start at the villa here and then you keep going west.

0:21:440:21:49

-Ah, towards the sea.

-Mm.

0:21:490:21:51

How is he then? Poor little mite.

0:21:570:21:59

-He'll be OK.

-No thanks to her.

0:21:590:22:02

You just tell that woman from me, I'll never speak to her again,

0:22:020:22:06

-as long as I live!

-Oh, June!

0:22:060:22:08

Thinking I'd do something like that! To my own flesh and blood!

0:22:080:22:12

-She didn't really mean it.

-Why did she say it then?

0:22:120:22:16

She hasn't been herself these past few months.

0:22:160:22:20

-Hasn't she?

-No, she hasn't.

0:22:200:22:22

-What's wrong with her then?

-I'm not sure yet.

0:22:250:22:28

Chloe...

0:22:310:22:33

I'll phone you tomorrow.

0:22:330:22:35

-Good lunch?

-Yes. Yes, it was fine, actually.

0:22:420:22:46

Did you go anywhere nice?

0:22:460:22:48

Just to the Icon.

0:22:480:22:50

With a friend.

0:22:500:22:51

Aw. From church?

0:22:510:22:53

No.

0:22:530:22:55

Dr Haskey, please.

0:22:560:22:58

-Oh, do you have an appointment?

-No, sorry. But it's urgent.

0:22:580:23:01

-How's Thomas?

-Asleep when I left him.

0:23:110:23:13

-Is he OK?

-Yeah, he's got his nan there.

0:23:130:23:17

Um... I'm sorry, but I'm really worried about her.

0:23:180:23:23

Of course you are.

0:23:230:23:24

So, can you tell me, please? You've had her results back.

0:23:240:23:29

Yes, I have.

0:23:290:23:30

And?

0:23:300:23:32

I'm sorry, I can't say.

0:23:320:23:35

-It's dementia, isn't it?

-I really need to speak to her first.

0:23:350:23:39

-When?

-As soon as she can.

0:23:390:23:42

And is that why she's being so nasty all the time?

0:23:430:23:46

Um...

0:23:460:23:48

-It would be a possibility.

-But it's not like she's an old woman.

0:23:480:23:53

-No, she's not.

-She's never even been ill, not really.

0:23:530:23:56

You're right.

0:23:560:23:58

And now I'm going to lose her, aren't I?

0:24:010:24:03

She won't even know who I am.

0:24:050:24:07

Chloe... I know how hard this can be, believe me.

0:24:090:24:13

I'm going to do everything I can to help.

0:24:130:24:17

I absolutely promise.

0:24:170:24:20

Yeah, well...

0:24:200:24:22

At least I know it wasn't my mum talking.

0:24:220:24:24

-OK, I've got English Breakfast, and the Lapsang Souchong.

-Great.

0:24:370:24:41

-Are you sure about this wine trip idea?

-Yeah.

0:24:410:24:44

I think it'll be a nice change after all the sightseeing.

0:24:440:24:47

And you are both going to love it, it'll do Charles the world of good.

0:24:470:24:50

I think you're right.

0:24:500:24:51

-So, are you going to weigh these?

-Where did you find that?

0:24:510:24:54

-In your side pocket.

-I looked there.

-Yeah, man looking!

0:24:540:24:58

SHE GIGGLES

0:24:580:25:01

-I think he's feeling a bit better now.

-Good, I'll go and see him.

0:25:060:25:10

I'm ever so sorry, dear.

0:25:100:25:12

-What about?

-About the sausages, of course.

0:25:120:25:15

I was sure I only bought them the other day.

0:25:170:25:19

Mum, it's not about sausages.

0:25:190:25:21

How could you talk to June like that?

0:25:210:25:23

-I probably was a bit harsh.

-She doesn't deserve that.

0:25:230:25:27

-I know. But she gets on my nerves!

-Mum, please.

0:25:270:25:30

-We're going to have to go and see the doctor tomorrow.

-Are we?

0:25:370:25:40

Right.

0:25:440:25:46

Then that's what we'll do then.

0:25:460:25:48

How about something to eat?

0:25:500:25:52

After all that, I haven't had a thing all day.

0:25:520:25:54

Have you been following me?

0:26:160:26:18

-I was just cruising around.

-A likely story!

0:26:180:26:22

-I would have brought another one, if I'd have known.

-I hardly think so.

0:26:220:26:25

A quick spin around the block, do you the world of good.

0:26:250:26:28

No, I have never been a very good passenger.

0:26:280:26:30

-Don't you trust me?

-And could I? On that?

-No, not really!

0:26:300:26:34

That's the fun of it!

0:26:340:26:36

-Now, the weekend.

-What about it?

0:26:360:26:38

I would say tonight, but I'm working, sorry.

0:26:380:26:41

You are a very presumptuous man!

0:26:410:26:43

-I do my best.

-And also, incredibly impertinent!

0:26:430:26:46

-Oh, really?

-Yes!

0:26:460:26:47

-Really!

-You don't know the half of it.

0:26:470:26:50

What in heaven's name do you think you are doing?!

0:26:520:26:55

This is my place of work! What if one of the patients had seen you?

0:26:550:26:59

Oh, JJ! Please!

0:27:000:27:02

Have you ever had the feeling you're not who you think you are?

0:27:100:27:13

I'm not sure I follow.

0:27:130:27:15

-I'm here for my son. Which room is he in?

-Sorry?

0:27:150:27:17

Why do you want to leave your current position

0:27:170:27:19

-and join this practice?

-I feel it's time to move on.

0:27:190:27:22

Something's not right. I've got a hunch.

0:27:220:27:24

If I had a pound for every time I heard you say that.

0:27:240:27:26

What are the qualities within you, Sid,

0:27:260:27:28

that made you choose this career path?

0:27:280:27:30

Sorry, I wasn't really expecting that one.

0:27:300:27:33

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