Crossing Palms Doctors

-ON COMPUTER:

-'Robert Lomax.

'A man who's determined to hide the truth from us.

'Robert Lomax.

'Robert Lomax.'

It's not much. I'll pay you back.

OK, I meant...

I'll pay you that back as well, it's just...

I gave you loads of money as a kid.

All those jobs I was doing. And I helped you with the salon!

Because I'm your mother, that's why!

Oh!

Horleywood Haven?

Yeah, well, the GPS says it's right.

Right geographically, or as a match for the brochure?

Hopefully both.

-KNOCK ON DOOR

-Come in.

-You wanted to see me?

-Er, yes. Please take a seat.

What do you think?

They're not for eyesight purposes. No, I've got 20/20.

-Would be 21/21 if it went up that far!

-SHE LAUGHS

No, it's all part of my new image.

Valerie Pitman, executive clerk, how may I help you?

The frames are Danish.

Miss Pitman, I have something very serious to say.

Understood.

Remember when we talked about the importance of confidentiality

when I gave you your new role?

Yes.

Well, you have failed.

How?

You passed on confidential information from a closed meeting

about Dr Vere.

-I didn't.

-Yes, you did.

And you interpreted it in such an inaccurate fashion

that he believed that his position here was under review.

I didn't. I just...

-told him what had been said.

-You should not have said anything.

-You made Dr Vere feel unwanted and unvalued.

-I...

I want you to consider this a verbal warning.

For what?

For what I have just outlined.

And for not doing your job with more responsibility.

-I AM responsible.

-Then prove it.

I am sure there are going to be some other children here somewhere.

Yeah, I expect they're off playing.

Up in the woods, like Swallows And Amazons.

Now that is a story where children have an adventure.

-Can I help?

-Yes, hello. We have a booking.

-Name?

-Granger.

-And Carmichael.

My great-uncle came to grief in Kenya

at the hands of a man called Carmichael.

If it's an ancestor, I can only apologise.

No need, Reggie was a drunk and a philanderer.

Oh. Only two nights?

Well, we're just introducing our son to the joys of camping.

Of course.

You're over there, pitch nine,

by the facilities block. That's the WC and showers.

-Showers to be taken in the mornings only.

-Why?

That's when the hot water's on.

There isn't constant hot water?

No, it's off-season.

The brochure mentioned something about a camp shop.

As above. If, for some reason, you haven't come with foodstuffs,

there's a vending machine at the local garage.

We've come fully supplied.

There was also something about a children's entertainer?

If you had read closely, you would have noted that that begins in May.

We'll all have a marvellous time here, I'm sure.

GEESE HONK

Hi, Lyn from next door.

Have you got any matches? I've run out.

-I'll have a look.

-Oh, thanks.

SHE GASPS I wasn't...!

Get out.

Oh...!

The grass is well fertilised.

This is supposed to be where we're sleeping.

-Well, maybe you'll grow a couple of inches.

-HE LAUGHS

Right, where shall we put this tent, north-south or east-west?

Darling, it's a tent.

We're not positioning the nave of a cathedral.

Wind, darling. Do you want to be upwind or down with the donkey?

I don't think it particularly matters.

Daddy!

Yes? Oh, low battery alert.

OK, don't worry. We'll run the engine for a bit and recharge it.

I don't think running the engine's a good idea.

She must be aware of the 21st century.

-I wouldn't bank on it.

-Oh, blast.

-What now?

-Left the charger at home.

Oh, and I thought you'd remembered everything.

Everything to do with camping.

SHE SIGHS Right.

-That's it.

-What?

-Off we go.

-Where?

Into the woods. You wanted to chase this rural idyll.

Yes, well, we've got to put the tent up.

-We can do that later.

-But...

-Well, come on!

Well...

Fine.

BANGING ON DOOR

SHE WHEEZES

I know you're there!

I'll be back later.

Bark rubbing!

Yes! Like brass rubbing in churches.

So you lay your piece of paper over the bark, like this,

and then you rub with your crayon, revealing the pattern.

-Amazing what can happen with a bit of rubbing, isn't it?

-Ha-ha(!)

This is about recording the patterns of nature.

So let's see who can do the best one.

It might be a good idea to renew your prescription

before it runs out.

Angina is not something to regard lightly.

I know. I just...

haven't made it out much lately.

You can renew it online or by telephone.

Thank you.

I wonder...

Yeah?

I was just wondering about...anti-depressants.

-OK. Why?

-Well, I've just...been feeling...rather down

for a while.

Any specific reason?

-Um...

-Have you had a change in circumstance?

Is it emotional?

It was just a thought.

I want to help.

It's just we like to make an assessment and discuss

other treatment options before we prescribe anti-depressants.

-I understand.

-You can talk to me.

I know. Thank you, Dr Haskey.

There!

-Oh, Joe! We were all meant to take part.

-Boring!

OK, right. Why don't we look for mushrooms?

Fungi?

Yeah. Mushrooms.

-How do we tell which is which?

-Like what?

Which ones are edible and which ones are poisonous.

Did I mention that I was in the Guides?

Yeah, several times. But I'm wondering, does that qualify you

to determine which are edible and which might induce hallucinations

or major organ failure.

-I have a badge.

-Sewing or jam making?

-Field craft.

-Oh!

-So, mushrooms.

They are going to go really well with the sausages I bought.

-What sausages?

-Wild boar and juniper.

Wild boar and juniper?

Bet Baden-Powell never left home without those.

It's completely unfair. I am responsible.

-Well...

-I thought you were supposed to be my friend.

Valerie?

-What have

-I

-done?

Mrs Tembe had a go about making you think you were getting the push.

Oh, I thought... OK, it was me, but I thought...

-Should I go and speak to her?

-Not in the ladies'.

I mean, if you need to speak to somebody, speak to Mrs Tembe.

Lyn Buckley. Got an appointment with Dr Haskey.

OK.

Are you sure these are edible?

Fairy ring. Delicious.

-Ah. There's the receipt from your pitch.

-Thank you.

Goes particularly well with a sausage.

See? Never belittle the knowledge of a Girl Guide.

-You were a Guide?

-Yes.

-I seem to remember something about you being expelled.

-Expelled?

Not expelled, exactly.

Something about a joint camp with some Scouts?

I was 16. There was some confusion...in the dark.

Not in my day.

I see you have yet to establish your tent.

Well, we thought we'd have some fun in the woods first.

Get your bivvy established. Then you can have fun.

Do you usually let your donkey loose in the camping field?

CB Fry?

That's the donkey?

Named after CB Fry. Cricketer, athlete, intellect.

-And where did HE poo?

-Sorry?

Because this one has pooed all over our pitch.

-I can't see much.

-That's because I've been clearing it up.

See, the initiative fostered by the Guides doesn't disappear

with the ignominy of expulsion.

Are you just going to let her insult me like that?

You insulted her donkey.

Tent.

It's a really good idea to always have a full inhaler available.

I try.

SHE COUGHS

Still smoking?

Lyn, you are asthmatic.

The best thing you can do is give up.

There are stopping smoking classes, there are nicotine patches...

Do you any good?

We're not talking about me, we're talking about you.

So it's do as I say, not do as I do?

In this consulting room it is, yeah.

You need to stop before you have a serious asthma attack

-and you end up in hospital.

-I've got to have some pleasure.

Can you lend me 20 quid?

What?

If you want me to buy patches, or whatever. It's just I...

Lyn, I know your circumstances might not be...great for you,

but no, there is no way I would lend a patient money.

Must be nice.

What?

To be able to have whatever you want.

-Robert Lomax?

-What are you doing here? How did you...?

Is it true you have to notify police

of any sexual or physical contact with a woman?

I'm not speaking to you.

That's what the Sexual Risk Order entails, doesn't it?

The SRO. Isn't that what you're required to do?

There was no trial!

Only because it collapsed.

That isn't the same as a verdict of not guilty.

But the police know, don't they, Robert?

Even though the trial collapsed, the police knew there was something?

That's why they applied for the Sexual Risk Order.

And the judge granted it.

Because they know that you're a risk to women.

Don't they?

Don't they, Robert Lomax?

-It wasn't Valerie's fault.

-She gave you a false impression.

But I also got the wrong idea from what Daniel and Zara were saying.

And when I put two and two together, it seemed...

Which makes me think that you have issues with your own confidence.

Yeah. Well, actually...

I have been looking into a course which I think just might help.

Daniel already mentioned it.

Good.

I will book you on it as soon as possible.

You are a valued member of this team, Dr Vere.

But it is also important that you value yourself.

Thanks.

You're too short.

I beg your pardon?

Short pegs. Short pegs means slack guy lines.

You could try these.

Well, that's very kind.

There is a rental charge.

Actually, I think I can manage.

You know, I'm very disappointed with your facilities.

I believe they're adequate.

Not exactly the paradisical nirvana featured here, are they?

Those illustrations were from high season.

What is it you said you did again?

I didn't. But for what it's worth, I'm a doctor.

Hospital or general practice?

General practice.

Ah, I had a maiden aunt in Edinburgh with a GP called Carmichael.

He got caught up in some very bad business involving a widow

and some chloroform.

You know, your family seems to have a lot of issues

with people called Carmichael.

There does seem to be an unfortunate pattern.

Where's Joe?

In the rec room, playing some games. Old Ted had a charger.

-Who's Old Ted?

-There.

We wanted to give him an experience of the great outdoors.

Yeah, but we also told him

that we were going to let him play with other kids.

Anyway, he's only gone for a couple of games.

Are you going to do them all like that?

If you're such an expert, you do it.

OK.

'But the police know, don't they, Robert?

'Even though the trial collapsed, the police knew there was something.

'That's why they applied for the Sexual Risk Order,

'and the judge granted it. Because they know that you're

'a risk to women, don't they?

-'Don't they, Robert Lomax?'

-BANG ON DOOR

Robert Lomax.

-BANGING

-Are you going to speak to me?

-Robert Lomax!

-BANGING

-Robert Lomax!

-BANGING

Robert Lomax. I had an appointment this morning

with Dr Haskey. I need to speak to him urgently.

-BANGING

-Robert Lomax!

Dr Haskey, I...I...

-Robert, are you OK? Did you get your medication?

-Yes, but...

I want you to talk to me!

There's someone outside. She's been following me, harassing me.

Who? why?

-I... They're...

-BANGING

Why don't you call the police?

I can't. I...

Robert Lomax!

Please. My arm hurts.

Robert Lomax, talk to me!

-Argh!

-Robert?

Are you still there?

Robert?

BANGING

Excuse me.

Can I talk to you about your neighbour, Robert Lomax?

What about him?

Do you know he's accused of rape?

Rape?

PUMPING

You call that straight?

What? It's the tent pegs, they're too short.

-You can't get enough tension in...

-It's called technique.

Teach you that in the Guides, did they?

We had a visit from the camp commandant.

She says we CAN have the hot water all day as long as we pay

the premium pitch fee.

How much is the premium pitch fee?

It's another £40. Per night.

I hope you didn't pay!

Well, I thought about it. For your comfort.

Funnily enough, she said she had a terrible incident with the

-hot water system involving a family by the name of...

-Loo roll.

-Hm?

Joe's stuck in the loo because there's no paper.

-Apparently you have to bring your own.

-Well, we didn't.

What? We can't just leave him there.

Fantastic.

That means I have to go and demean myself

in front of that dreadful woman.

-So he moved in a month ago?

-I haven't seen him much.

-His trial was in January.

-But you said he didn't get done?

The victim withdrew her evidence. It was his sister-in-law.

Why didn't she want him to go down for it?

She was scared.

Didn't want to get ripped apart in court by his barrister.

-So this thing you said he's under, the...?

-The SRO.

Sexual Risk Order.

The police applied for it after the trial failed.

They had corroborating evidence and the victim had bruising

caused by him.

-PHONE RINGS

-Excuse me.

Yeah. It's him.

I'm just talking to a neighbour.

OK, I'll upload any more footage I get.

-This court order...

-Mm.

-..you said it was because she had bruises?

One of the reasons he was deemed a risk.

Has he ever done anything to you?

It's normal, but we should get you to St Phil's.

I need to show you something.

'Robert Lomax has always denied he attacked her despite the evidence,

'but we think he simply got lucky when the trial collapsed.

'Laura was too afraid to take the stand and he knew that would happen.

'The question is, did he intimidate her?'

Laura and I had been having an affair.

One night we were together and Sally, my wife, had been ill

and I said, "I can't do this any more. I've got to tell Sally."

Laura went mad. And...

..then we were struggling, I was trying to calm her

but she was biting me and hitting me.

Did you hit her?

No. I was holding her, her wrists,

trying to calm her down. She did in the end.

I said, "I've got to tell Sally," and I sat at home waiting.

There was a knock at the door.

The police.

I didn't do that to Laura.

I would never hurt anybody.

-He did this to you?

-He grabbed me.

-We have to report it to the police.

-I...

Robert Lomax is dangerous.

If we report him now, we can prevent harm coming to other women.

-I'd need some support.

-We'll support you, all the way.

I mean money. Just something to keep going.

It would have to be expenses.

What, like, my bills?

We can help you, if you choose to tell your story.

-How much?!

-£7.50.

-I only want one roll.

-I don't split packs.

My son is in need as we speak.

Well, a good lesson for him is always to have the tools to hand

before you begin the job.

Perhaps your family hasn't yet had its worst encounter

with a Carmichael.

The police knew there was no case.

I'd told them about the affair and Laura confessed to it.

When it came to the trial, she couldn't even...

She knew she was in the wrong.

So what does this journalist want from you?

She wants to try me again, in public.

I'm afraid to go out. I'm afraid to be seen.

Because of this.

There's 130,000 subscribers.

130,000 people who think I am a danger to women.

What's that?

-'So Robert Lomax attacked you this morning?

-Yes.

'That's where he grabbed me.'

No! I never.

She lives next door.

In view of that, I'm contacting the police.

What? She can't!

You've got to go out there and tell them, I didn't do anything!

Lyn, what do you think you're doing?

-Dr Haskey. I...

-We're filming an interview.

And broadcasting it live. You're putting Mr Lomax under great duress.

I think you'll find he puts women under greater duress.

-Isn't that right, Lyn?

-Well...

Stop!

Why don't you just...stop...and...leave?

Right, ambulance. Tell them suspected heart attack.

She probably thinks of herself as the height of good taste,

but she is just a grubby little extortionist.

What a place!

At least we've got the tent up

and the inflatable mattress is inflated.

It's... It's got a puncture.

What are we supposed to sleep on?

Well, there's a groundsheet.

Daniel, there is no way that I am sleeping on the floor!

OK, OK. Well, I for one am starving,

so why don't we get the stove going?

Ah...

-What?

-Well, I...

I forgot to pack it.

You packed everything, you said!

But you didn't pack Joe's charger, or the loo roll, or even the stove!

How are we going to cook?!

-We could make a real fire?

-Yay!

Yep, we'll go and get some wood from the forest

-and then we'll build a real fire. Proper camping.

-Can we?

I think that it's a splendid idea...

-OK.

-..and we have no choice.

We have no choice. I'll race you. Come on, let's go!

Sid has had complaints.

And his name kept coming up in meetings

so I just mentioned it to him.

-What's so bad about that?

-What is bad about that, Miss Pitman,

is that you are repeating your error once again.

Yeah, but it's only Karen.

I have given you a verbal warning. Consider this your final warning.

I have no choice but to take away your extra duties and monitor

how you deal with confidentiality until you can be trusted again.

-But...

-No! No.

I have tried to give you a chance but I don't think you appreciate

how important this is.

-Mrs Hollins will supervise you.

-I don't think...

OK.

You know, this really doesn't change anything. We should still...

-I can't.

-Why not?

Because this morning,

his wallet was there,

and I was desperate.

When he grabbed my wrist he was just stopping me.

-But he hurt you?

-Not really.

-You're sure you don't want to go ahead?

-Sure.

I'd say your work here is done.

Not by a long way. I know what the truth is.

Then you must have been granted the ability the rest of us don't have.

-BREATHILY:

-Wait...

Tell her I'm sorry.

Who? Lyn?

Not her. Laura.

For what I did to her that night.

For everything I've put her through.

Ah!

You could be more sympathetic.

Why? Because you dumped our entire dinner into the fire

while burning your thumb? That's not even the worst thing you did today.

-What's that then?

-Bringing us to this godforsaken hellhole

-in the first place!

-You said it looked fine.

-In the brochure!

You wanted the great outdoors.

I thought I was going with someone with at least some aptitude.

-I thought it would be a good experience for Joe.

-It is.

What, sleeping in the car?!

At least it's not as uncomfortable as this, with a leaky mattress

and a lopsided tent. Ugh! This is such a waste of time!

At least I didn't bring the whole Guiding movement into disrepute!

-Where are you going?

-Away from you!

Daniel!

Daniel, you had better get out here right now!

What are you doing?

Oh, OK...

Didn't you buy a fire-resistant one?

I thought they were all fire-resistant!

How could this have happened?

-Maybe you built your fire too close to the tent.

-Well...

What the hell are you doing?!

-Mostly waiting for a fire extinguisher.

-Well, oh...

Don't tell me you don't have any?

-They're under maintenance.

-It's a legal requirement!

Oh! Evacuate. Evacuate the site!

The campsite is closed until...

Argh!

THEY LAUGH

I'd say that was a pretty good innings for CB Fry, wouldn't you?

Considering the amount of refunds she's going to have to give,

I'd say that was the scent of victory.

Burst water main. We're going to dig up the road.

You haven't started yet and I'm just the other side.

Oh, that's bad luck, isn't it, Andrei? So near, but yet so far.

BELL RINGS

Om...

You wanted us to fail.

Everything that's happened, the tent, the beds.

You brought the beds.

Whatever it is, I don't need it.

-I don't need it either.

-Neither do I.

-Well, we're in agreement then, aren't we?

-Yes, we are!