Versions of Us Doctors

OK, people. Current status - Have just peed on this bad boy -

yeah, I know - too much information!

You will be the first to know the result.

Danny's snoring away next door. He has no idea.

OK. Here goes.

Deep breaths.

Oh, sh...

Sugar?

No, ta, I'm sweet enough.

Oh, morning! Have a good weekend?

Yes, thank you.

"How about you, Karen? "Did you do anything nice?"

Oh, come on, Valerie.

We're not going to have another week of this, are we?

Good morning, Dr Vere.

Since when does she call me Dr Vere?

Since she's had a personality transplant.

Should I go and apologise again?

You may as well get it written on a T-shirt.

You've apologised enough.

She'll come round once Daniel's satisfied that she's learnt her lesson.

Yeah. OK.

So much for the pill! How did that happen?

And no, I don't mean that literally.

All those sex ed classes with Miss Birkett -

putting a condom on a banana.

Put me off fruit for life!

No wonder I've been feeling shattered and bloated.

I've had sore nips.

Guess it's time to break the news.

I know exactly what he'll say.

He's wanted kids as long as I've known him.

Anyway, better turn you off for a bit.

See you later.

Morning, gorgeous.

Good morning.

Did you miss me?

-We only saw each other yesterday.

-You fancy meeting for lunch?

KNOCK

One minute. Come in!

Sorry - is this a bad time?

-Yes!

-No. Not at all.

I've typed up the letters that you requested,

and these are the invoices that you wanted.

Tell her you're taking the rest of the day off.

Thank you.

Well, that will be all.

So, how about 2.15 at The Icon?

I'll be wearing a red carnation and a smile.

Well, I wish I could, but I have a mountain of paperwork.

Oh, come on! A change of scene will do you good.

You'll get twice as much done after.

Not today. Another time?

Oh, all right. Hope you manage to get everything done.

I miss you.

I miss you, too.

OK, peeps - how do I look?

Hopefully a tad less Britney 2007

than my pregnancy-gobsmacked look earlier.

Anyway, update! The word is out.

I broke the news to Mr Frankland, and, as expected,

he was completely gaga.

DOORBELL

It's probably Mrs Blackwell from next door moaning about the bins again.

Anyway, next on the list is a trip to the doc's - sort out all

the boring medical bobbins.

RINGING

Katie, I know you're in - your car's in the drive.

Do you not answer your front door any more?

You could have texted.

Didn't realise I needed an appointment.

-I was vlogging.

-Might have known.

The Yoga Society's having a digital detox.

I nearly signed you up.

To what do I owe this pleasure?

You didn't reply to either of my voicemails about the caterers.

They need confirmation of numbers, Katie.

I know.

I also left a message about the florists.

They're provisionally booked but they need a credit card number.

I'll text it to you.

I'm sat here.

Why do we have to do everything through a service provider?

Because I'm going out in a minute.

What - into the real world?

Are you sure you'll be able to tear yourself away from a screen for that long?

Ha-ha.

I'm serious.

Ever since you started this vlog, I'd get more conversation out of my sat nav.

It's important to me, Donna.

As you'd know if you'd ever bothered to watch it.

Whatever.

Come over for coffee later, if you want to have a catch-up.

Fine.

I'll text you.

You all packed for Barca?

Yeah. You?

Just need a few props for the hens.

I'm not wearing L-plates, Donna.

I mean it!

All right! Keep your hair on. Where you off to, anyway?

Pedicure.

Pfft. All right for some. I'll see myself out.

Get back to my hen-do shopping.

RINGING

Hello?

Winifred, I know you're busy, but I've seen an ad in the Gazette -

second-hand bike for sale.

How much do you know about Chinese bikes?

What are the specifications?

500cc.

Needs a fair bit of work. Three grand.

What?

£3,000?!

It's in a showroom in town. I'm going down there over lunch.

Yeah, well, unless it is a reliable brand, do not waste your money.

I might offer them cash, try and get a discount.

Wait!

Where is the showroom?

Just off the high street - why?

Because you'll need someone to give you a second opinion!

But you're under the pump today.

Well, I will just have to make an exception for you.

You're a diamond, Winifred, do you know that?

I'll text you the address.

I'll see you later, alligator.

SHE SIGHS

Is everything all right?

Yes. Yes, everything is fine.

Mrs Tembe? Your tea?

Oh.

Yes.

Thank you.

-Valerie, I'm running low on gloves. Can you make sure we've got some more on order?

-Sure.

How was your weekend?

Mr Whitman?

I'm sorry, Nurse Lee.

I can only discuss personal matters during allocated work breaks.

I have to be really careful. I'm still on probation.

Valerie, we haven't got CCTV in here. Chill out.

Just a quickie while Danny's in the loo.

Thank you so much for all your lovely comments, guys.

Sorry. Am I being too loud?

What are you doing?

Vlogging.

I've got a video blog - on social media? Have a look.

Oh, not while I'm working.

I'll write the link down for you.

You should start one yourself.

"Confessions of a doctor's receptionist."

Oh!

Ooh. Are you OK?

Yeah. Must have slept funny. It's nothing.

Probably a trapped nerve.

Weird, though.

Do you know how much longer it's going to be?

The drop-in clinic's quite busy today.

There are three patients ahead of you.

Right. Can I use your loo?

Yep, sure. It's at the end of the corridor.

Mind you, I need a pregnancy test so I should probably save the wee.

Oh, right, well, I'll just get you a sample bottle.

Well, you're definitely pregnant.

So much for the pill.

Well, I'm afraid no form of contraception is 100% guaranteed.

You didn't forget to take it?

If I'm on a deadline, sometimes everything goes out the window.

Oh. Deadline?

-I'm a journalist.

-Oh.

Mad hours. Drives my partner up the wall.

And does your partner know about the test you took this morning?

Yeah. To say he's excited would be an understatement!

And what about you? Are you excited?

Guess I'm still getting my head around it.

When I missed my period, I just assumed it was stress.

Deadlines?

-That and I'm getting married in the summer.

-Oh!

-It's been full-on.

Now this.

Assuming I keep the baby, what happens next?

What would that version of my life be like?

Well, the first thing would be that we would make an appointment for you with a midwife.

Look, take these.

There's lots of information about nutrition, lifestyle choices,

the importance of taking folic acid.

And when you've had your first antenatal appointment, they may

give you an ultrasound scan and that will tell you when the baby's due.

But it's all in there.

It's really happening, isn't it?

It's funny how your life can change in an instant,

whether you like it or not.

Bye-bye, Mrs Palmer.

Ooh! That was a morning and a half.

So what you doing for lunch?

I thought I just might work through.

Valerie, you can take a break.

This job means a lot to me, Karen.

I know that, but you can still have a laugh.

Can we have the old Valerie back, please?

Oh, Mrs Tembe, let me get that.

So, have you got all your work done?

Yes, thank you, Mrs Hollins.

Has she told you about this JJ bloke?

No!

RADIO PLAYS

Are you sure you're all right?

Yeah, fine. Did you get your shopping done?

Not all of it.

Donna, I'm warning you - no chocolate willies, nothing tacky.

Lighten up, will you?

I'm sure I've got a bit more imagination than that.

That's what worries me.

I've booked the wine tour.

We've got our own limo and driver,

so we'll be able to get absolutely bladdered.

Great.

By the way - newsflash -

fit non-student bloke at the gym finally asked me out.

His name's Eliot and he's 33! Ancient!

Why is he exercising at a student gym?

It's open to non-uni.

You mean he's a cradle snatcher.

I'll need a plus one for the reception.

What about Danny's best man?

Dim Tim? You must be joking!

Speaking of the gym, I've got a spin class at three.

I'll just have a whaz.

Oh!

The doctor was really nice,

not that she could get a word in with Danny there,

asking that many questions!

He's gone back to work now and I'm waiting for my sister to arrive,

so it's time to sign off.

Laters!

What are you up to?

Watching a vlog. Katie Millar.

-Did she mention it?

-No.

-Her partner didn't come to the consultation, did he?

-No, he didn't.

That's very strange.

Oh, Dr Granger. I've put some referral letters on your desk that need your signature.

Thank you, Valerie. Keep up the good work.

KNOCKING

Donna, I need a wee.

Just a sec.

Sorry.

-Are you sure there's nothing else you want to tell me?

-No.

Will you hurry up? I'm busting.

RINGING

It's Eliot.

I'll speak to you later.

Hiya.

Yeah, I'm just on my way now.

SHE SIGHS

-After you.

-Thank you.

-Afternoon.

-Good afternoon.

What do you think?

Very impressive.

And expensive.

Sexy, though. Lean, mean, powerful machines.

Bit like yours truly.

Do you need any help?

No, we're just looking.

You should have asked him about the bike you saw in the Gazette.

In a minute - there's no rush.

JJ, there are no second-hand bikes here.

Must be out the back.

There was never any bike, was there?

I'm pretty skint, actually.

It got you out of the office, though, didn't it?

JJ!

I'm sorry! I just wanted to see you.

Come on - don't be mad. Give us a smile!

KNOCKING

Yeah. Come i...

Oh, I'm so sorry - I'm interrupting your sandwich! Shall I come back?

No. Is it important?

I am just so relieved to hear that you're happy with my work, Dr Granger.

Because you have no idea how difficult it's been,

the morning I've had...

Everyone asking me about my weekend, which I'm dying to tell them,

and then Karen was asking about JJ - who I'm certain was on the phone to Mrs Tembe earlier!

And don't get me started about the patients!

Valerie! For goodness' sake, take a breath before you combust.

I'm sorry. It's just...

I feel like I've spent the morning on a leash. Can you imagine that?

And the patient confidentiality!

-Go on.

-Oh!

Would it be a breach thereof if I

told a doctor something a patient told me but not them?

This one particular patient seems to be painting

an entirely different version of events on social media. What do I do?

Valerie, you know this stuff. Trust your instincts.

If something feels appropriate, then say it.

-Do these social media posts reflect badly on us?

-No. No.

-It's just... I don't think this person's being entirely honest.

-Hm.

You will support me, won't you?

Of course.

Now, if you don't mind...

Oh, yes. Of course.

Thank you! I feel so much better.

So? Which one am I buying you when I win the lottery?

You do not have to buy me anything.

But let's say I win the jackpot, money's no object?

Well, perhaps this one?

It is versatile, comfortable, good chassis.

You or the bike?

Here - what about this beast?

1,250 CC, four-cylinder, one of the fastest bikes in the world.

Get you to Spain in a day.

It is a little too flashy for my liking.

There are more important things than speed.

Like what? Good bodywork?

Solid build?

Something reliable, dependable - good all-rounder.

Enough about me. What about the bike?

Hey, mate.

Oh - Dr Reid!

I've got Katie Millar on the phone.

She thinks she's having a miscarriage.

Katie? It's Dr Reid. What are your symptoms?

I've got a really bad pain in my lower abdomen, like a shooting pain.

And I've had some bleeding.

OK.

I need you to stay calm for me, all right,

and just take some deep breaths.

Have you had any other symptoms?

Um... No. No.

-Are you sure?

-Am I losing the baby?

Not necessarily, Katie.

Emma!

Hang on a second for me.

She did mention another symptom - when she was here earlier -

she said it was a weird pain in her shoulder.

Katie, have you had a pain in your shoulder today?

It's just a colleague of mine has just mentioned it.

Yeah - it was nothing. It was just a muscle spasm.

Where exactly was it?

At the tip of my shoulder, where it meets the top of the arm.

OK.

Can you call an ambulance?

Katie, are you at home? I'm just going to call an ambulance.

I don't want you to worry. I just want you to stay calm.

Is this the one?

In my dreams.

What are you doing?

Arranging a little test drive.

Wait, JJ, no!

Come on. Don't be shy.

Look, unless you intend to buy the bike, do not waste this man's time.

It's only a laugh, a bit of fun...

I can give 'em a shilling a week.

Well, if you want to go for a test drive, that is your prerogative,

I will wait here until you get back.

Actually, mate, we'll leave it. Another time, maybe.

Thank you.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put you on the spot.

Let's go and have a nice long lunch, eh?

My treat to make up for being a plonker?

KNOCK

Katie?

How are you doing? Are you OK?

They said the pregnancy was ectopic.

Yes.

How did you know?

The pain in your shoulder.

It's rare, but it can sometimes be an indication

of internal bleeding.

I'm so sorry about the baby.

I feel like it's my fault, for not being sure if I wanted it or not.

It's not your fault.

Your sister's on her way.

What? How does she know I'm here?

Well, she's listed as your emergency contact.

I can't see her like this.

Well, I don't think you should be on your own.

You're here.

I know, but I'm afraid I can't stay.

I have to get back to the surgery.

Katie, I do understand how hard this is.

Listen, just back me up, will you? Whatever I say.

Katie? Are you all right? What happened?

It was fibroids. Wasn't it, Dr Reid?

I'm afraid I...

But I'm fine now.

I'll be able to go home soon.

Fibroids?

Really?

Yeah.

Why are you lying to me? I saw the pregnancy tester!

That's why I asked you if there was anything else you wanted to tell me.

I thought I might have made a

mistake or the test was wrong -

until I went online and watched your vlog.

I can't believe you'd tell a bunch of complete strangers

that you're pregnant, but not me!

I lost the baby, Donna.

So does any of that really matter now?

I'm sorry.

But you should have told me.

I'm your sister and I want to be there for you.

Where's Danny?

Oh, he's away on business.

According to your vlog he was with you at the doctor's this morning,

so he can't have gone that far.

-I think this is a bit more important than work.

-What are you doing?

-Ringing him.

-No, Donna, don't.

Why not, Katie?

Has he changed his number? Cos it says it's disconnected.

Katie? What's going on?

Fine. I'll ring his work.

No! He won't take your call, OK?

You can try him on any number you want, but he won't, OK?

Are you happy now?

Well, thank you for lunch.

-What do you fancy now - a little stroll?

-Hm.

You're not still mad at me, are you? The test drive...

I was only having a laugh.

I know, I know.

If I wasn't skint, I'd buy you one of them bikes in a heartbeat.

Why would you want such an over-priced toy

when you have the skills to build one yourself?

Much more rewarding.

You're one in a million, you know that?

Am I?

"Happiness, not in another place but this place,

"not for another hour but this hour..."

Hm. Walt Whitman. But you are paraphrasing.

I haven't seen Danny in over three weeks.

So he just disappeared?

He ghosted. He left for work one morning,

everything seemed normal, but from that day forward

he... He stopped taking my calls, blocked me on social media.

Deleted me.

But his clothes... I saw them on the...

He left everything as it was.

Just never came back.

Katie, are you absolutely sure that nothing has happened to Danny?

Yeah, I phoned his work. They said he's there, he just...

He wouldn't take my calls.

And he never gave you a reason?

No.

I know it sounds mad, but it's like he's died.

I'm sorry.

How come on your vlog you talked about seeing him today?

I kept hoping he'd come back...

or that I'd wake up and it was a dream.

I felt like such a loser. I've got so many followers,

it was easier to lie, to pretend that we were still together.

Another version of us.

Katie! You don't know any of these people from Adam!

I know. I just... I didn't want to let everyone down.

That's why I didn't say anything to you.

You were so excited about the hen...

There's a hen do?

This week.

For a wedding that will never happen.

The irony is Danny always wanted a child.

I didn't.

It's probably one of the reasons he left.

And now that's dead, too.

Katie! Stop making excuses for him!

There's absolutely no justification for the way he's treated you.

I've a good mind to go round there and punch his lights out.

Danny's the loser here and one day

he's going to seriously regret what he's done.

He was never good enough for you and this proves it.

You're gorgeous. Intelligent. You've got a great job and your own place.

And you don't need a spineless wimp like that in your life.

Donna's right, Katie.

Maybe one day you'll discover that Danny's probably done you a favour, as cruel as it's been.

And if he can't be bothered collecting his stuff,

when we get home, we'll bin it.

But what about the hen?

There's nothing to stop you from going, once you've recovered.

Might do you good.

Your mates will be well up for that.

And remember, Katie - this relationship never ends.

I will always be here for you.

I'm sorry. I should have trusted you.

It doesn't matter now.

I love you.

I love you, too.

-Fancy going in?

-Hm.

Mrs Tembe!

Oh! Dr Carmichael! Are you enjoying your day off?

Oh, I wish.

I have a list as long as my arm of Easter crafts Joe needs for his end of term activity.

You don't happen to know of any craft shops, do you?

I tried Benson's, but it seems to have closed down.

I think there is one on Edmonton Street, opposite the printers.

Oh, brilliant! You're a life-saver.

-Right, well, I will see you tomorrow at work.

-OK. Bye.

-Goodbye.

Shall we go in?

OK.

Was beginning to think you'd done a runner.

Story of my life.

No chance.

I was rallying the troops!

Surprise!

-Hi, babe.

-You OK?

Thought you could do with some backup from your real mates, not some faceless bods online.

I've been thinking. I'm going to delete the vlog.

-Yes!

-About time.

Are you OK?

Yeah. Starving, though.

Naz has got a bag of chocolate willies, if you're peckish.

Go on, then.

LAUGHTER

Here you go.

Erm... I really need to be getting back.

Why didn't you introduce me to your friend?

Well, she, er... She was in a hurry.

You weren't embarrassed to be seen with me?

That's what it felt like.

I am sorry. It's just... This is all new.

You do know how I feel about you?

Yes, yes, and I feel the same.

-Then let me walk you back to the surgery.

-No.

Look, Winifred, if I'm not good enough for you, then you'd better be straight with me.

Because I've had it up to here with people playing games.

Now, are you serious about this relationship or not?

Fine! I'll see you around.

Evening, all.

Anita, wow.

Just Anita will do.

Hello, gorgeous, ladies.

-No. Stop it.

-Come on.

-No!

Daniel, you'll never guess what's happened.

Mrs Tembe is going out with a biker.

I want him to come crawling back.

Does he seem like a right chancer to you?

I don't know what to think.