Should I Stay or Should I Go Doctors


Should I Stay or Should I Go

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Transcript


LineFromTo

-Can I just say...?

-Emma...

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I hate these suits. I mean, look at them!

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They haven't even got a waist - I look like Michelin Man.

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-All right, you need to focus.

-What? Oh, yeah, OK...focus...

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EMMA CLEARS HER THROAT Right...

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Footprint is...facing towards the body.

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-You go that way.

-OK...

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-Aargh!

-Sorry... I'm sorry!

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I'm sorry.

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Let's take a break.

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The guy's officious, he's bumptious. He's full of himself.

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-Who is?

-Anthony!

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-Haven't you been listening to a word I've been saying?

-No!

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I've been focusing on this, like you should be.

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Good morning.

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I'm Grant Hodges,

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and I'm leading this forensics awareness course.

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The idea is...

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and this is right out of the manual...

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to become aware of the evidential value of forensic exhibits,

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preservation and contamination,

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specialist roles in recovering and analysing forensic evidence...

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and different recovery techniques.

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By the end, you'll know all you need to know

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to work as an FME on the crime scene.

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We're lucky to have Dave...

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He'll be playing the body

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in several of the scenarios we're enacting today.

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Before we get started, let's refresh ourselves on some of the basics.

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A...B...C...

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who can tell me...?

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Erm...

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Assume nothing,

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believe no-one,

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and challenge everything.

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Excellent.

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And APC?

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Erm...assess, preserve, communicate.

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-That's right.

-Yeah. So, assess...

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is the crime scene safe to investigate,

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does anybody need, erm, medical assistance,

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and is there any risk to anyone?

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And preserve?

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You're keen.

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-Can someone else answer?

-Erm...

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Preserve the crime scene,

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protect the evidence, and minimise contamination of the evidence.

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Spot on.

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And communication...

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..is pretty self-explanatory.

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So...

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let's go on to the duties of the first officer on the scene...

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You're being a bit head girl, aren't you?

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This isn't school, you know, it's a professional qualification.

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Trials, investigations - we're supposed to know our stuff.

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All right...head girl.

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Shut up!

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Of course there's a dress code.

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Anyone who turns up in jeans...or trainers...will be dealt with.

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Dealt with?

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Well, not allowed over the threshold.

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If you don't know me well enough to know that I have standards,

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then you have no business being there.

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Obviously.

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So, how are the...preparations coming along?

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Well, I've got the caterers coming, and waiters, of course,

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cases of champagne being delivered,

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and some desserts from the best patisserie -

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I should follow that up. I'm not sure if everything's going to be ready.

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If I give you a list,

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could you call round to check for me?

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I'd love to.

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That'd be a great help, Valerie. Thanks.

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If anyone asks, you could just say that you're my PA.

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Do you want us to call round all the guests,

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-make sure they're coming?

-Oh, there's no need,

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that's absolutely fine. I've got it all in hand.

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Oh, how some people live!

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Can't wait to see it.

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Sounds like heaven...

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Now, just be professional.

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Go in remembering your ABCs...

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And your APCs!

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..and the common approach path.

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What's the thinking?

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A path through the crime scene,

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avoiding the path taken by the killer.

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Suspected killer.

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Reach a conclusion.

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Does the evidence and your instinct point to a suspicious death,

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and are you entering a probable scene of crime?

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Enjoy yourselves.

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Nobody died!

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The body has no pulse and is cold to the touch.

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-Ready?

-Head girl is always ready.

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Oh! I'm sorry!

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I've forgotten to stick to the approach path.

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Can we start again?

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No problem. Come back and we'll reset.

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I'm sorry.

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-Are you going tomorrow night?

-No.

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I'd like to but...

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I feel bad going when Heston's stuck at home recuperating.

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What time's the home visit?

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20 minutes, so, as long as the traffic's OK, I'll be fine.

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Are you going?

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Don't know. If Emma goes, probably.

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Wouldn't it be funny if no-one showed up?

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Could you imagine Zara's face?

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Erm, no, cos that would be wrong.

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-I'm only thinking about it.

-Yeah, good.

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Besides, it's free food and drink - people will go.

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Right, I've got a baby to meet.

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Have you got a minute?

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-Pronounce dead?

-Yeah.

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Anything suspicious?

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-Fingernails?

-Mmm-hmm.

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Erm...signs of a fight, what appears to be blood underneath

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the fingernails, so... We would believe this is a suspicious death.

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Good.

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You're right.

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But...

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You both did well...

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-identifying and avoiding the path taken by the killer through the room...

-So, why the "but"?

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You thought, because you'd reached a conclusion,

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you were safe and lowered your guard.

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When leaving the scene, you contaminated what might be

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a vital piece of forensic evidence.

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Yeah, well, the scenario was over -

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I mean, it's not like this is for real.

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It's time you acted like it is.

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Excellent work, Jimmi.

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Heston sends his apologies.

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What about Ruhma?

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Well, I expect she'll feel bad leaving him to come to a party,

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which I understand.

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Of course.

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Anyone confirmed yet?

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Only Karen and Valerie.

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And my friends.

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Oh.

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Don't worry, it might just be you, your golf buddies

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and a load of fabulous women.

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PHONE BEEPS

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Talk of the devil!

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Excellent work.

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Very, very thorough.

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Just a couple of things...

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Are you going to this party tomorrow night?

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I suppose I'm going to have to go.

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I mean, you know what Daniel and Zara are like.

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It'll be the Spanish Inquisition for anybody who doesn't show up,

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unless they've got at least two notes from two doctors.

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Oh, well, you scratch my back...

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Oh. Deal.

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Now, put all that stuff out your mind and focus on this, otherwise you'll keep tripping up.

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Touche...

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-That was Gill - she cancelled!

-Oh.

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Some nonsense about...

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OK, what does it matter? It's probably best that it's Gill.

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She's hard work at the best of times, and who wants to sit around listening to her

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getting drunk and talking about her divorce all evening?

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-It's good that you're...

-We can have a good time without her.

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-Now, which of the other staff haven't answered?

-Jimmi, Al, and Emma.

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I really can't overstate how important it is that we do not

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contaminate the environment.

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Remember Locard's Law. Every contact leaves a trace.

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That applies to us, as well as criminals.

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Clearly it's going to be impossible to interact

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with the crime scene and leave no trace, but our job...

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is to always be conscious of this

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and leave as little trace as possible.

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EMMA'S PHONE RINGS

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I did ask for all phones to be switched off.

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I-I'm switching it off!

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Right...

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on to the next crime scene.

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Could I have a word, please, Jimmi?

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ZARA SIGHS

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What did Emma say?

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That wasn't Emma. That was Jennifer.

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Now she's cancelled.

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Aargh!

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OK, OK, everything will be...

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She's had some deadline dumped on her.

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She wishes us all the best and

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she's sure the party's going to be fabulous. Of course it's going to be fabulous without her,

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but it won't be fabulous with no guests at all!

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Enjoying it?

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Yeah, of course. I wouldn't be here if I didn't.

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Good.

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You've done well today.

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Thing is...

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some of our best people are part-timers,

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juggling police with NHS work,

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but...

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we also need full-timers with no other commitments.

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Now, there are...opportunities and scope for some managerial input.

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Are you suggesting I become a full-time FME?

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If you're up for it...yes.

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Well, I'm flattered, obviously, but...

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I'm a partner at a large GP practice.

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I'm not hearing "no".

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Look...I understand your GP work pays more...

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You became a Police Surgeon because it's not just about the money.

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I'd like to think about it.

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Take all the time you need.

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-What was that about?

-Nothing.

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I will speak to Sid, Ayesha, Al, and turn on the charm.

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-Charm?

-Yes, just to make sure they come.

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And Heston won't begrudge Ruhma one night out, surely?

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It's not as if they're joined at the hip.

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I have ways of making you come to my party.

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Do you understand?

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Good.

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So...

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repeat after me,

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"I will...

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have fun...

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at Zara and Daniel's party."

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I will...

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have fun...

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at Zara and Daniel's...

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Daniel's...

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Daniel's...

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Daniel's...

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Daniel...

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Daniel!

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Yeah.

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Am I boring you?

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Erm, no... Erm, listen - why don't I talk to them?

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What, you think I can't be charming?

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Emma, just relax.

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He's got it in for me now.

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No, he hasn't.

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Oh, and he told you that, did he,

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when you were having your private little conference earlier, about nothing?

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He was commenting on some of my police surgeon work.

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You weren't even mentioned.

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He was...being very nice.

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Yes, well, if he was being nice,

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of course I wasn't mentioned.

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You...

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You weren't mentioned! W-Why would I lie about that?

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Are you two...ready?

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-Yup!

-Yeah.

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No pulse.

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Body is cold, clammy to the touch.

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Right, erm...

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no pulse...

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..no obvious signs of respiration.

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So, a death, erm...

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..cause - to be determined.

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Going by the amount of blood visible, exsanguination's a probable cause.

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What you're looking at are lacerations on the wrist.

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These are the only lacerations.

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Right,

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OK, so, erm...

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..the wound looks self-inflicted.

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A possible suicide?

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But the victim...

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wears a watch on his left hand,

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which would suggest that he's right-handed.

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And, if that's the case,

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then the wounds were inflicted with his left hand,

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but, there's no...obvious sign of any...sharp object

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that would have caused the injuries.

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-ATCHOO!

-Oh...!

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Just ignore that and carry on, please.

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Hay fever?

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EMMA LAUGHS

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-Focus.

-Sorry.

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Can you focus?!

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EMMA CARRIES ON GIGGLING

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Stop!

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I think we need to have a word.

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Well, I really don't see why I should take the blame.

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I mean, It's not like a cadaver's going to...

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jump up and scare the bejesus out of me in the real world, is it?

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You have to be prepared for anything.

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Expect the unexpected.

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ETU?

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What?

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-Another of your glib little...

-Anyway, erm, our hypothesis?

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Was correct.

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The death appears not to be suspicious,

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and if this was the real world,

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your contamination of the evidence wouldn't matter,

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this time.

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You don't think I'm up to this, do you?

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Some people adapt more quickly than others,

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but I do know you have a lot to learn about this job.

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Right, so...

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are you going to fail me?

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You need to grasp what the stakes are.

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I'm not some newbie, you know.

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I've been a police surgeon for years!

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Then show it.

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Look...what happened was an accident,

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so, maybe if we could try it again?

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I'll arrange it.

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Everyone makes mistakes.

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The important thing is to learn from them, and not repeat them.

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Pompous prig.

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I'm thinking...

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that Gill and Jennifer both cancelled

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because they can't stand each other.

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So you reckon they weren't being straight with you?

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Well, they were being polite.

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They tolerate each other because they're both so fond of me,

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and they can avoid each other in London but not at my party.

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I'm going to send them both a text saying it's such a shame

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because the other one can't be there.

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OK, erm...brilliant.

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Unless they both change their minds.

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And then they'll both come.

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How've you been getting on?

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Erm... Yeah, all in hand.

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You WILL come to my party,

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and you WILL have a good time.

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Yes, yes, I will, please...

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Please, please...just stop.

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No...no more prosecco!

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Hi...Zara, can I have a word?

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Can't it wait?

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I don't know. Is this...is this important?

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I'm just picking Zara's brains on breast-feeding.

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Oh...

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OK, fine. I can wait.

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Maybe he's right.

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I mean, not about the... crime scene stuff, but about the...

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exams, qualifications...I mean,

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you know what, I could not be less interested in all that stress.

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You're a medical professional. You have to deal with

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people's lives, and high stakes and stress every day.

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Don't start being sensible on me.

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Give me your wrist.

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What?

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Ow!

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Sharp pain like that should chase away all the distractions, get you thinking about

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-what you should be thinking about.

-You think I'm going to do that to myself, do you?

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Every now and again, just...

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give it a little twang...

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take a second.

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Give it a go.

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Goodness' sake...

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What can I do for you, Daniel?

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Well, I was just wondering if you were able to come tomorrow night?

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I'd love to, but Trish has me locked into a prior arrangement.

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Well, that's... that's a pity.

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I mean, if there were any way you could get out of that...

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I'd be really pleased and you've no idea how happy it would make Zara.

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If there was any way I could come, I would, but

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this one's a three-line whip, I'm afraid.

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Ah, Daniel! I'm ever so glad I've caught you.

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Immie's coming home tomorrow night and we...

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well, me and Rob are going to have to cancel.

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No! No, bring her with you!

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No, I'd love to, but she's home so rarely and Rob's made this rule

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that, whenever she's there, everything else gets cancelled. I'm sorry.

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I understand.

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Do you want me to tell Zara?

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No...no, no. I'll...I'll do that.

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-OK.

-Yeah, OK. And...

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-Sorry.

-OK...OK...

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OK...

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Hey guys, just double checking...

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trying to keep on top of numbers, make sure we've got enough for everyone...

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Are you coming tomorrow night?

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No...we can't. Sorry.

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Can't persuade you?

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It's just I was talking to Zara, and we were saying how important

0:17:380:17:41

we think it is to get as many of the team there as possible.

0:17:410:17:43

Yeah...I guess...

0:17:430:17:45

Zara would be thrilled if you made the effort.

0:17:450:17:48

-You know...for the team?

-Well, I...

0:17:480:17:50

but, erm...I can't...

0:17:500:17:51

What's so important that you can't reschedule?

0:17:510:17:54

What, are you having life-threatening surgery?

0:17:540:17:57

No, but...

0:17:570:17:59

You will be when Zara finds out you're not going.

0:17:590:18:01

That's a joke.

0:18:010:18:02

Sorry, Daniel, we wish we could, but you didn't exactly give us

0:18:020:18:05

much notice and...we've got something we can't get out of.

0:18:050:18:08

So, in crime scene two, our assessment is that the crime scene

0:18:110:18:15

should be regarded as suspicious.

0:18:150:18:18

Our hypothesis is that the body was not moved,

0:18:180:18:22

but it still remains the primary crime scene.

0:18:220:18:25

In crime scene four,

0:18:250:18:27

however, our assessment was that the scene was also suspicious,

0:18:270:18:31

but, this time, it is possible that the body had been moved...

0:18:310:18:35

there were small drops of blood by the door

0:18:350:18:37

and the pattern of the footprints smudging these

0:18:370:18:39

suggested that they had been trod on by a suspect going in,

0:18:390:18:43

presumably with the body,

0:18:430:18:45

then leaving after placing the body at the scene.

0:18:450:18:48

Well?

0:18:520:18:53

Tiny thing -

0:18:530:18:54

we shouldn't offer an opinion of the causation of the footprints.

0:18:540:18:59

But apart from that...

0:18:590:19:01

well...sometimes I see people here who just have a

0:19:020:19:06

natural talent for this...

0:19:060:19:08

which is great...

0:19:080:19:10

but...what's often more gratifying, is seeing someone who...

0:19:100:19:15

you know...struggles with it at first,

0:19:150:19:18

but they listen, they learn, and they show they can do the job.

0:19:180:19:21

The assessments of those crime scenes

0:19:230:19:25

are spot on -

0:19:250:19:26

thorough and professional.

0:19:260:19:28

Well done.

0:19:280:19:29

So, we've passed?

0:19:290:19:31

This part of the course?

0:19:310:19:33

Absolutely, you pass.

0:19:330:19:35

Take a seat, we'll go on to the next group.

0:19:350:19:38

Don't look at it as...as pressure.

0:19:380:19:41

-Look at it...that we want you there.

-Look, Daniel...

0:19:410:19:43

I hate parties, OK?

0:19:430:19:45

I hate the fake bonhomie of having to talk to people I can only just stand when they're sober.

0:19:450:19:49

I hate cold, shrivelled-up canapes...

0:19:490:19:52

Zara's not going to serve up cold, shrivelled canapes.

0:19:520:19:56

Fair enough, good point. I'll give you that -

0:19:560:19:58

your canapes will be top notch, but you answer me this...

0:19:580:20:00

would you be attending this party if you didn't absolutely have to?

0:20:000:20:05

Yes, I would... Yes, I would!

0:20:050:20:07

And, look, I know you've been to parties before, so come on.

0:20:070:20:09

Yeah, but the hosts always bribed me before.

0:20:090:20:13

OK, erm...

0:20:130:20:15

we've got a cask of real ale.

0:20:150:20:17

-What kind?

-I don't know, erm...

0:20:170:20:19

Sounded something like, erm...

0:20:200:20:22

Old Scrotum, I think.

0:20:220:20:25

KNOCK ON DOOR

0:20:250:20:27

-Yes?

-We've got a problem...

0:20:270:20:30

I've spoken to Anthony, Karen, Sid, Ayesha and Al...

0:20:300:20:34

and none of them can make it tomorrow.

0:20:340:20:36

And Valerie just looked in - she can't make it either!

0:20:360:20:40

What have you done?

0:20:400:20:42

-Sorry?

-All of these people cancelling. It can't be a coincidence.

0:20:420:20:46

One of us must have offended them

0:20:460:20:48

and I know that I haven't offended anyone...

0:20:480:20:50

recently.

0:20:500:20:52

-Really? So, it's me that's offended your friends too, is it?

-Don't change the subject.

0:20:520:20:55

You were supposed to do one thing.

0:20:550:20:57

-It's all in hand.

-No, it's not in hand. This is now officially a crisis!

0:20:570:21:00

Our new neighbours will think we haven't got any friends.

0:21:000:21:03

They'll think the pariahs have moved in next door. This is so humiliating!

0:21:030:21:07

I'll go, then.

0:21:070:21:09

ZARA SIGHS

0:21:100:21:11

PHONE RINGS

0:21:190:21:21

Erm, hello?

0:21:260:21:28

Mrs Tembe!

0:21:280:21:29

Hi...

0:21:290:21:31

..Zara!

0:21:310:21:32

Wha...Dr Carmichael?

0:21:330:21:35

How are things going at...

0:21:350:21:37

erm...

0:21:370:21:38

-Kings Green?

-Oh, yes...well...

0:21:380:21:40

It is all very good.

0:21:400:21:42

Wonderful.

0:21:430:21:45

Look, I'll just cut to the chase...

0:21:450:21:47

Daniel and I are throwing a party tomorrow night,

0:21:470:21:50

at our new house...nothing spectacular, just a small affair,

0:21:500:21:54

and I know that it's very short notice, but...

0:21:540:21:58

I've...

0:21:580:21:59

missed you, around the place...

0:21:590:22:03

and so has Daniel,

0:22:030:22:04

and we would really...love for...

0:22:040:22:07

you to come...to the party?

0:22:070:22:10

Well, erm...

0:22:110:22:13

Well, I would very much like to come.

0:22:130:22:16

Oh, excellent.

0:22:160:22:17

OK then, well, could you please give Karen a call,

0:22:170:22:20

and she'll give you all the details, cos I've got to go - I've got a

0:22:200:22:23

patient coming. It'll be SO lovely to see you tomorrow.

0:22:230:22:26

I think head girl needs to buy teacher's pet a couple of drinks.

0:22:270:22:32

One to say sorry and the other one for bailing her out.

0:22:320:22:35

Well, I'm wiped out. And we've got the cars, so...

0:22:350:22:37

Oh, well, that's true.

0:22:370:22:39

Last thing we need is to get nicked for drink-driving.

0:22:390:22:41

I mean, who'd take the blood samples?

0:22:410:22:43

Jimmi...

0:22:450:22:47

Look...I...

0:22:470:22:48

I know that you've wanted to talk to me about Anthony.

0:22:480:22:52

The truth is...

0:22:520:22:53

he doesn't bother me like he bothers you, so...

0:22:530:22:56

..I don't really know what you want me to say.

0:22:570:22:59

Yeah, I'm not sure either.

0:22:590:23:00

Well, no, actually I wanted you to agree with me.

0:23:010:23:04

I wanted you to say that we could find a way to get rid of him, but

0:23:040:23:07

I know you can't lie, so...

0:23:070:23:09

I'm going to be straight with you...

0:23:090:23:11

it's clear that you haven't been happy for a long time.

0:23:110:23:14

I don't know. Maybe it's time that you moved on, you know?

0:23:140:23:17

Found a new challenge,

0:23:170:23:18

not that I want you to!

0:23:180:23:21

-Are you trying to cheer me up?

-EMMA LAUGHS

0:23:210:23:23

Here...

0:23:240:23:27

I think your need is greater than mine.

0:23:270:23:29

I'm sorry I can't be more helpful.

0:23:300:23:33

I think you're being cruel.

0:23:570:23:59

Well, then let's just say something...

0:23:590:24:01

No, let them stew. It'll be a surprise.

0:24:010:24:03

Goodnight.

0:24:030:24:06

Maybe we should postpone. Ayesha could be right, you know?

0:24:060:24:09

It's short notice.

0:24:090:24:10

Postpone? We can't possibly do that, it'll be so humiliating.

0:24:100:24:14

We're going to have to cancel.

0:24:150:24:16

We'll have to tell them...

0:24:160:24:18

tell them that your mother died!

0:24:180:24:19

What?!

0:24:190:24:21

Zara, Daniel...

0:24:210:24:23

This...

0:24:230:24:25

was a wind up,

0:24:250:24:26

that's gone too far.

0:24:260:24:27

The idea was that we'd surprise you by turning up.

0:24:270:24:31

Whose idea was that?

0:24:310:24:33

Well, it was everyone's, really. We wouldn't have missed it.

0:24:330:24:36

Well, well done. You...

0:24:370:24:38

you had us.

0:24:380:24:40

And we'll see you all tomorrow.

0:24:400:24:42

To be honest, I knew that it was all just a jape.

0:24:420:24:45

Although, how they got Gill and Jennifer on board, I've no idea.

0:24:480:24:52

It will be...

0:24:520:24:53

like that tenth circle of hell that Dante was too frightened to describe.

0:24:530:24:58

He'd had people dipped in excrement,

0:24:580:25:02

whipped for all eternity,

0:25:020:25:04

but even Dante drew the line

0:25:040:25:06

at a Zara Carmichael dinner party.

0:25:060:25:09

Beware, all ye who enter there!

0:25:090:25:13

I ain't going.

0:25:130:25:15

What you said earlier,

0:25:250:25:26

about me being a good fit with the police...

0:25:260:25:29

were you serious?

0:25:290:25:31

Absolutely.

0:25:310:25:34

I've got a pretty good idea you walked Dr Reid

0:25:340:25:36

through the course...

0:25:360:25:37

..which reinforces what I said.

0:25:390:25:41

Yeah, I'm up for it.

0:25:430:25:44

Great.

0:25:460:25:47

You understand, this would

0:25:470:25:49

involve leaving your practice?

0:25:490:25:51

Mmm...

0:25:510:25:53

Yeah, thinking about it, erm...

0:25:530:25:55

the way things are at The Mill...

0:25:550:25:58

..maybe it'll be the best for everyone.

0:25:590:26:02

-Are you happy?

-I will be...

0:26:060:26:08

once my friends explode with envy at my perfect life.

0:26:080:26:11

Sweetheart, what time are your friends arriving?

0:26:110:26:13

So, you are having other guests - I was beginning to wonder...

0:26:130:26:17

How's it all going, Julian?

0:26:180:26:21

"Chef".

0:26:210:26:22

Did you not get the message about smart attire?!

0:26:220:26:24

-Oh, yeah, yeah.

-Zara, it doesn't matter.

0:26:240:26:26

No, no! This is important!

0:26:260:26:28

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