The Collector Doctors

I'm nearly done.

I hope you're not turning me into Frankenstein's monster.

Well, it's a rather fetching duelling scar.

En garde!

-What were they protesting about anyway?

-Oh, the usual.

Anti-austerity, save public services. Eat the rich.

-Do you know what they hit me with?

-Go on?

A papier-mache puppet of David Cameron.

There's an example of cuts for you!

To be honest though, I feel sorry for them.

-Kids today won't be able to buy a house till they're 102.

-No.

-But whacking you over the head isn't going to help them, is it?

-True.

-At least it gave us a chance to catch up.

-Yeah.

KNOCK AT DOOR Come in.

Hiya. I've got another customer for you when you've finished here.

-Protester?

-No, a shoplifter.

A 62-year-old woman got caught shoving a frozen chicken up

-her jumper. If you could give her the once over.

-OK.

Well, my services are needed elsewhere. So I'll see you later.

See you.

Hello. Elizabeth?

Hello.

-I'm Dr Reid.

-I'm so sorry to be such a nuisance.

Oh, you're not being a nuisance.

I'm just here to examine you, make sure you're OK.

I didn't even need the thing.

I just had this strange urge to take something.

-Do you know DC Talbot?

-Yes. Yes, I do.

Well, he'll vouch for me. We're old friends.

Really?

It would be so nice to see him.

It might help me to calm down.

I tell you what, why don't I examine you and then I'll let him

know that you're here, all right?

Good.

RINGS DOORBELL

-Hello, Dr Clay.

-I almost didn't recognise the place.

-You been having a clearout or something?

-The students had a party.

They still have some clearing up to do.

I am refusing to touch it. It is their responsibility.

Thanks. Hello, there. I believe you wanted to see me.

Where's my daughter's phone?

I'm sorry... Do I know you?

Hang on a minute, I thought you said that you two were friends.

Oh, I know this man. But we're a long way from friends.

-It's Mrs...?

-Gunn. Elizabeth Gunn.

-I'm Ellie's mother.

-All right.

Ian, you don't have to talk to this woman if you don't want to.

No, it's fine. Mrs Gunn, I told you everything I knew at the time.

We looked inside the car. There was nothing at all there. No phone.

I don't believe you.

-She never went anywhere without that phone.

-She must have lost it.

No, if it was lost, the battery would have died.

I've been dialling the number.

-Her phone keeps ringing, so somebody has it!

-I can't explain.

If you wish to make an official complaint, you can.

You are not going to stitch me up again! You're a liar! A thief!

-A grave robber!

-All right, can we have some help in here, please?

Calm down. That's enough.

-Whoa! That is enough for a school night, Mrs Tembe.

-Yes, of course.

Oh, it is very nice to have you here, Dr Clay.

Of course, I got on very well with my colleagues at King's Green,

but there was no-one that I really wanted to invite round for supper.

Well, I'm honoured.

And it's great to have you back as well.

You know, these last few months,

it's almost like it's been a bad dream or something.

-Yes, indeed.

-Wow!

Now, I was not sure what you wanted to eat, so I have made us

a smorgasbord.

When did you have time to make all of this?

Well, I did not sleep very well last night,

so I thought I would start the food preparation.

-Is that because of the students?

-Yes, they have been a little...

THUMPING MUSIC FROM NEXTDOOR

-KNOCK AT DOOR

-Come in.

Ian, I am so sorry. I thought she was genuine.

She's genuine. She's just confused.

Grief does weird things.

Well, we both know that, don't we?

-How long is it since you lost Helen?

-Five years ago tonight.

I'm surprised you came in.

Oh, I could have missiles thrown at me just as well as the next person.

I know, but... When does your shift end?

Ten minutes ago. I'm just catching up on paperwork.

Oh, for goodness' sake. Go home. Take the rest of the night off.

You've already been beaten to a pulp by the Prime Minister

-and screamed at...

-I'd rather be here.

Fair enough.

Well, at least let me get you a fresh cup of coffee.

That's not actually coffee, is it?

Been a long day.

Come on.

Let me take you home.

-So, it's Verity and Nicola?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-OK.

-Hi, Karen, Rob. So glad you could make it.

-Yeah, so are we.

We've got tea and coffee over there

and we'll make a start in five minutes.

Oh, I don't want anybody picking on me,

making me stand up and tell my life story.

Oh, come on. We'll be fine.

And we can back out at any time.

I'd forgotten how big your place is.

Have you ever thought of getting lodgers?

-I can't think of anything worse.

-Really?

-Yeah. Sometimes, I think

having people around can actually make you feel lonelier.

Especially if they're not the right people.

-How long were you together?

-22 years.

I read some article about grief.

It was calculating how long until it, you know, becomes bearable.

You have to take your age and then divide your granny's age and...

Oh, something.

I'm not sure it really ever does become bearable. It changes.

But I think it's always with you.

I'm going to spend the evening in with my opera collection.

Well, I could maybe stay and listen to a few arias with you.

Make us a cup of coffee?

Thank you.

Now, can I tempt you with a slice of vegetable puff?

I think it's anatomically impossible.

-What about some tortilla?

-Do you know what?

If I eat anything else, I'm going to have to apply for stomach stapling.

Now, I wanted to talk to you about something.

Do you think we should have an obesity awareness week at the Mill?

Um...I'd be careful about starting too many initiatives.

That was Anthony's problem. Well, one of his many problems.

-MUSIC PLAYS NEXTDOOR

-Yes, indeed.

VOLUME INCREASES

-Do they never stop?

-It has got steadily worse over the week.

They must have finished their exams. They are letting off steam.

-Have you not had a word?

-On several occasions.

Sometimes they pretend to be out.

Sometimes they promise that they will stop.

As you can hear, they have broken their promise.

-I tried not to get angry.

-Honestly, that would drive me round the bend.

Well, enough of them. What about you, Dr Clay?

-We have not had a chat for a very long time.

-Erm...

I can't complain.

You don't sound very enthusiastic.

Mm. You know, life.

It's a bit like this music sometimes. It just goes on and on.

SOPRANO SINGS

Ian?

Oh!

Sorry.

-Isn't she extraordinary?

-Mm.

She might not have the most beautiful voice,

but she's got a way of just sort of getting inside you,

make you feel her pain.

-Are you all right?

-Yes.

Yeah, I've just had a weird deja vu.

That plastic sippy cup that you've got in the cupboard.

I had one very similar for Sam.

Was it Helen's?

Yeah, it was.

I don't know why I kept it. Guess I couldn't keep her.

We see people in their possessions, don't we?

It was so painful.

We never had kids, but I had to feed her as if she was an infant.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up.

No, it's good to talk about it.

If I'd talked about it at the time, maybe I wouldn't have...

Here's to Helen and Sam.

Yeah.

Helen and Sam.

I think it was thinking about, you know, Howard dying, it made me

think, if I wasn't here now, would it make any difference?

-Or have I ever made any difference?

-Well, of course you have!

Oh, Dr Clay! You improve the life of everyone you come in contact with!

Hm.

Now, can I tempt you with some sticky toffee pudding?

-Is that just to stop me talking?

-No. No, of course not.

I think you need a challenge.

When you get stuck in a rut, you have to pick yourself up

and climb the highest mountain.

Mm. Yeah. What if you're afraid of heights?

Then, don't look down.

You see me? I like to keep myself busy.

I have the food bank, the hospital library scheme, the Mill,

the campus and, of course, my church.

-Don't you think you do too much?

-What do you mean?

Well, I wouldn't want you to burn out.

We go on about too much alcohol, too much sugar.

Too much stress can cause real damage to the body.

I wanted to grow old with Helen.

Just the two of us.

Pottering about in some seaside town.

But she was old and wizened by the time she was 42.

I'm sorry.

I wish I'd done more to support you at the time.

No, I kept pushing people away.

-Did some really stupid things.

-Haven't we all?

No.

-No, not like this. I...

-DOORBELL

Hang on.

Please!

-I don't want to row. I just...

-How did you get my address?

You're not the only one who is devious.

You've got no right to be here.

I just want five minutes to talk with you.

Look, you know you could go to prison for being here.

I'm in prison now.

Look, I've told you all I know.

We looked in the car, checked her handbag. No phone.

I don't believe you.

Mrs Gunn, I don't think anything my colleague says is going to

persuade you. Please go home.

Of course.

Might have known you'd be in cahoots.

Thanks.

You do know that your story keeps changing, don't you?

-What?

-Well, at the police station, you said the car was empty

and now you've just said that you checked her handbag.

Which is it?

So, one thing I can tell you.

There's nothing as rewarding as looking after children.

It's a job that loves you back. Sometimes with a great big hug.

But sometimes, it can push you right to the limit.

At the moment, there are 2,000 children in Birmingham

either in foster care or in need of foster families.

And some of these children have been let down time and time again.

But that's enough of the waffle.

We'll take a quick break and then we'll do some exercises.

-OK?

-Everybody seems so confident.

Oh, it's the confident ones that you need to watch out for.

Best to be a bit cautious. Do you want a coffee?

I was with Helen at her bedside.

When she died.

And then suddenly, 42 years of life over.

She had this book by her bedside. It was...Three Men In A Boat.

She'd only got to chapter four.

And I thought, I want to keep this. I want to keep the moment.

No-one can blame you for taking the book, but what else have you taken?

Sometimes, at an RTC or a suspicious death,

I nearly always take something.

A keepsake.

What sort of something?

Tiny things, trivial.

But they mean so much.

Do you remember Old Bill,

who used to beg at the bus shelter on Pond Street?

-The guy with the dog?

-Yeah, that's it.

The dog died a few years ago. Bill died last year of hypothermia.

I was called to the scene.

When I got there, I found this.

It was in his pocket.

It's his lead. It was the only thing he owned.

If I hadn't have taken it, it would have been incinerated.

But why do you do it?

Why do we do anything?

It's to keep the moment.

If I can't save them, I can save the moment.

-But you must know that this is wrong?

-Of course I do.

I've tormented myself. I feel so lonely.

It's like being in a room full of people and I'm invisible.

And then I come back here and I remember Helen, Bill, Daniel,

Mohammed, and I feel alive.

What about the phone?

That's the one thing I regret.

It was devastating.

Ellie was the same age as Helen, 42, and I couldn't save her.

But I could save this.

It wasn't yours to take.

Oh, that woman has had months of sleepness nights.

-Oh!

-I know. What am I going to do now?

The damage is done.

You have to give it back to her.

Now, I've asked you all to write down the ten most important

things in your life at the moment.

-Rob, can I hear some of your list?

-Yeah.

Well, number one, my wife, obviously. Family, kids, fishing...

That's great.

Now, I want you all to cross out number one. Cross it out.

Numbers two, three, four, five, keep number six.

Cross out seven to ten.

That's it. Cross it all out.

Imagine you have to get rid of 90% of what you value the most.

Family, friends,

hobbies, pets. This is what foster children have to do.

For reasons they may not understand, they're taken away

from their old lives and put into the hands of complete strangers.

And some of them feel as though they've been dumped.

As foster carers, you'll have to get used to losing things.

Losing sleep, losing order in your life,

so you really have to ask - am I doing this for the right reasons?

And am I ready for it?

I couldn't do it. How can I explain?

-Ian...

-I'm just looking after it.

-Keeping it clean. Dust-free.

-No, it's not yours to keep.

You could lose your job over this.

You do know what they do to police officers in prison, don't you?

-It can hardly be worse than what I'm doing to myself.

-MOBILE RINGS

Oh, my goodness! You keep it charged?

I'm keeping it alive.

No, you're keeping that woman in limbo. You're tormenting her.

Hello?

Hello.

Who is that?

You know who it is.

-Sorry.

-I knew it!

'I knew it!'

I want my daughter's phone back!

Please, you can come back round.

Mm.

Mm-mm-mm-mm!

Mm!

MUSIC THUMPS FROM NEXTDOOR

Mrs Tembe, if ever I was on death row,

I would like you to cook my last meal for me.

Well, I hope it does not come to that, Dr Clay.

Me too, but if you've got to go!

You know? I have been thinking about having a summer fete at the Mill.

We could raise some money for Miss Pitman and her Hodgkin's lymphoma.

It would raise the profile of both surgeries.

-The ones at the church, they are so much fun.

-Mrs Tembe?

-Yes.

What was I just saying about you not taking on too much?

MUSIC VOLUME INCREASES

Please sit down.

I've kept it safe.

It's never been used.

So you say.

No, no. Really.

I should have given it back to you.

But I just couldn't bear it.

It was my last call of the evening.

I'd spent the day giving a talk on road safety.

And then I was called to this...horrendous,

soul-destroying accident.

I couldn't save anyone.

They were all long gone by the time I got there.

The car was a wreck.

There was this phone. It was perfectly preserved.

-And I felt this urge to look after it.

-It wasn't yours to take.

I just felt an urge to protect it.

The night she died,

I wanted to protect everything she had.

I went to her room and there was the dent in her bed where

she used to sleep.

I'm never going to let anyone sleep in that bed.

But the thing I wanted was her phone.

With all her contacts.

All her photos.

Her breath.

Her fingerprints.

I'm sorry.

You lied to me.

I wasn't thinking straight.

-You lied.

-I just couldn't bear to let it go.

Ian, are you all right?

-I need some water.

-Let me get you some.

-No, no. I'll get it.

You look after Elizabeth.

I'll be back in a moment.

Now, having looked after the child, you then have to hand him

or her back to their birth parents.

However hard, you mustn't say anything negative

about the parents, even if you think they've let their child down.

You would usually have a social worker to help you with this.

But not today.

And instead of using a child,

we're going to use this rather beautiful...

flower!

-Karen and Rob.

-Yeah.

I would like you to play the foster carers.

OPERA MUSIC PLAYS

'I know what he did was...'

Well, I'm struggling to get my head around it.

But believe me

when I tell you he's been going through hell the last few years.

We're all in hell.

I've spent months wanting an answer.

Where's the phone?

What's happened to it?

Now I've got it in my hand, and I feel utterly empty.

THUD

MUSIC POUNDS FROM NEXTDOOR

It has been a most memorable evening, Dr Clay.

I am sorry about the noise, but we all have our cross to bear.

Oh, hi. Hi?

Yes, could I order a cab, please? VOLUME INCREASES

22 Brunswick Street.

-BANGS ON WALL

-Will you please be quiet?

Morning, noon and night! Thud! Thud! Thud! Thud!

-You are selfish, ignorant...!

-Mrs Tembe.

SILENCE

OPERA PLAYS

KNOCKING ON DOOR Ian? Can you let me in?

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Ian?

Oh, no!

Ian?

Can you hear me?

Oh, no! No!

I only wanted the phone back!

Ian, stay with me. All right?

You stay with me!

I think he's left a note.

"Dear Emma,

"thank you for listening and thank you for believing in me,

"but I've hurt too many people and I'm tired now."

Look after him. I need to phone an ambulance.

Oh, please.

I didn't want you to do this.

Oh! Thank you ever so much for coming and having fun

and I promise that I'll get you some fish fingers next time.

-LAUGHTER

-I don't know what to say.

-That's all right. That's OK.

Well, bye-bye, Susan. It's been really lovely to meet you.

Oi! Where's my kid?

-Sorry?

-I haven't got time for this. Come on.

Oh. Right. We're just saying goodbye.

-Well, you've said it now. Come on.

-We just need another minute.

Is that OK?

Oh, you think you're so high and mighty, don't you? Give me her.

-No, I don't think I'm going to do that.

-What?

You're being rude and aggressive,

so Susan is going to stay here with us until you've calmed down.

-You've no right to do that!

-You think I'm going to give

a little girl back to an abusive parent?

I think Social Services might have something to say about that.

Actually, Rob, you need to find a way of handing the child over.

The way you've behaved, that is not going to happen!

So you think that having the child taken away from you by force

-will help her?

-By force? I'd like to see you try that!

-Rob!

OK. I think this is something we all need to talk about.

Sometimes, you don't always go with rules and regulations. If I...

Or if we are responsible for a child, then

I am going to do everything in my power to make sure it's kept safe!

-You've got some moves on the dance floor for a...

-Man of my age?

I did not say that.

I hadn't planned on it being a musical presentation,

but I could easily throw in a few woo-hoo-hoos.

Everything about your symptoms suggests substance abuse.

-Great talk! Absolutely brilliant!

-Thank you very much.

She might as well have had a sign on her neck saying,

"Al, I fancy the pants off you!"

You don't have to change for my sake.

I love you just the way you are.