Field Day Doctors

In a moment, I'll take you to the custody desk,

where you will be charged with murder.

I was the doctor involved in the case.

It was me who failed to take care of a vulnerable child.

Nicholas Cuthbert died because of the decisions that I made.

There's your story - a baby died and it was my fault.

I love a project.

You are going to need this.

You cannot seriously be suggesting that again we...

I'm not suggesting anything.

I'm just trying to think of ways that we can save money.

If there really is no alternative, then...

then I will tell her.

BIRDSONG

PHONE RINGS

Oh...

Darling...

No, no, all very quiet. Nice early night.

Oh, just a sandwich in front of the telly, you know.

The boys OK?

Good.

-Neeawww!

-Joe. Really. Just calm down.

What's going on? Joe? I thought we'd got rid of this stuff.

Do you have any idea how much sugar is in there?

We've got hardly got anything ready.

For the fayre!

Leave a list of things you want me to do...

Great. Could you make a start on these, please?

-Olives.

-Yes, it's rather a fun idea, actually.

You know how they have jars full of sweets,

and you have to guess how many there are in there?

Well, this is the healthier option!

After all, if we don't set an example, who will?

Look at how much salt is in them!

Can you just count them as they go, please? Joe?

Morning!

Goodness gracious, Miss Pitman!

You look most fantastic!

Very becoming.

I know the hair's a bit different.

But, well, it grew back grey.

I hear it's all the rage at the moment.

I'm just so glad to be out of those itchy wigs.

No offence.

Oh, none taken.

Well, here I am, ready and raring to go.

-I know I'm a little bit early.

-No, I am very glad to see you.

I just couldn't wait.

You know, it's days like this I live for.

Helping the community. Raising money for good causes.

It's just so exciting!

Yes, you are right.

Do you know, sometimes I don't know where I'd be without the Mill.

I really don't.

It's a lovely day for it.

Listen, sweetheart.

I know we did talk about breakfast, which would have been delightful.

But I am a bit pushed, to be honest.

Got this piece to camera.

About... Oh, I don't know - exams or something.

No rest for the wicked, eh?

And we were rather wicked.

I'll make it up to you next time. I promise.

Promise?

No.

No!

No, no, no!

-How's it that side?

-It's fine.

Where's your mate, anyway?

Oh, he's at the Bullring. He's not into fayres.

How's that?

It is very good, but it needs to be moved three foot to the right.

-Hope the weather holds.

-No, I'm sure it will be fine.

But I think we need to move this a little bit more forward.

I think it's a little bit small.

Dr Carter, we are not trying to create Wembley Stadium.

-Yes, but for the band I've booked.

-Band? What band?

Ruhma's friends.

Where are we supposed to put them all?

Well, we'll have to improvise.

No. There will be no more improvising today.

Who is going to do the punch stall?

-Well, Tash is helping.

-Oh, yes, of course she is!

Cos I'm rather busy with the bouncy castle.

What bouncy castle?

Excuse me, I have to arrange the tug-of-war.

Dr...

There is no... It is not on my list!

(Tug-of-war...)

We discussed this at length.

Thank you very much.

Friend(!)

Hmm.

No-one's going to want this, you know.

-Just get the henna cones, will you?

-Where are they?

In the red box, wrapped in newspaper. Then pick up those chairs.

-Hiya.

-Hey.

-Seen Valerie's new hair?

-Yeah.

She's rocking the silver fox!

-Yeah, it's good, isn't it?

-What are you doing, then?

-Mehndi. Traditional hand painting.

-Yeah?

Mm-hm. You?

Face painting. For the kids.

Nice.

And what about insurance? Health and safety?

PHONE RINGS

-Health and safety?

-Well, on your head be it!

Michael? Long time, no speak.

-MRS TEMBE:

-That is too low. You will have to raise it.

People are going to bang their heads.

Yes, of course, he's right here.

Marion. She's not coming, is she?

-I don't think so.

-You don't think so?!

-Hi, Mum.

-Darling, please stop. People have got to eat these.

-Yeah, we're fine, thanks.

-(No way.)

-Uh-huh?

-Darling, stop!

-Really?

-(October. At the earliest.)

-(She's at the airport.)

-In Crete?

Manchester. She's been diverted.

But what about the fayre?

Well, look, hold tight, I'll come and get you. Yeah.

Darling, please. This is disgusting.

What in heaven's name - Dr Carter?

Dr Carter!

Aw, that'll be great fun for the children.

Not if one of them gets hurt.

It's going to make us pots of money.

We'll be paying it all out in compensation!

-Dr Carter?

-Have you seen this?

What?

It's today's.

Have you two seen Dr Carter?

No.

Dr Carter?

NEWS ON TV

Well, at least wear a decent tie, man.

KNOCK ON DOOR

-Heston.

-Morning.

-I can't thank you enough.

So, how's the back?

Actually, it's loosened a little now.

I know we've met a few times for dinner.

I'm not actually your personal physician.

I know. I'm sorry.

And I am rather busy. And it is a Saturday.

To be honest with you, Heston, I'm in a bit of a spot.

I'm sorry?

-My wallet's been stolen.

-Oh.

Well, I don't want to bore you with the details.

But suffice to say that I'm not really in a position to go home

and get some extra money.

Why not?

Certain...reasons.

Oh, I see.

So I was rather wondering if you might be able to help me out

with a little extra cash?

Well...

Just for a taxi into work, I've left my car there.

And, of course, if there's anything I could do

-to repay the favour...

-Like what?

Anything. Anything at all.

-Well, actually...

-Name it.

-We're having a summer fete this afternoon.

-Ah.

And as you're quite famous...

Well, I WOULD...

I don't think under the circumstances,

that's too much to ask.

I did mention work? All afternoon.

Something about exams.

Any other time. You have my word.

Heston, just imagine what would happen if this got out.

The papers would be all over me!

You are a true friend.

Um - I don't suppose you could pay the bill on the way out, could you?

Here are your raisins and breadsticks. Not too many.

Don't snatch!

Must be a constant battle.

-I keep trying. But there are temptations everywhere.

-Terrible.

Well, those aren't going to help, for a start.

Oh, these are just my home-made Eccles cakes.

We should be setting an example, Valerie.

Look at you, lady!

It's for the tombola. Don't blame me. They're all from patients!

..up to one in five results,

leaving many here to question

whether the current marking system can be considered fit for...

-Oi-oi!

-Do something.

-Hello, Mum!

Shoot them, if necessary!

Shocking morning. Still, could be worse.

Nearly got dragged into some dreadful summer fayre.

A fete worse than death!

That today's?

Aaaah!

Is that really necessary?!

Have you seen this?

No, you will have to put that over there.

Mrs Tembe, we've got a slight change of plan.

No, we cannot have a change of plan!

Yes, we're not doing the "pin the organ to the body".

-It won't work, it's too complicated.

-What?

-Instead we're going to do, "guess your own blood pressure."

-Dr Haskey!

Sorry, coming through!

This is terrible.

Yeah, it's the last thing we needed.

Do you mind if I...?

Sorry, Sid, thank you.

Thank you very much. Has she seen this?

I don't think now's the time.

-I spy with my little eye a Glen Caldew?

-Not bad, eh?

That's 30 years old!

Hands off!

Where do you want the band?

Go into the hall, please. That way. Go, go!

MUSIC: Disco Inferno by the Trammps

Have a good afternoon.

Mum, do you even know what you're doing?

Yeah, it can't be that hard.

Yeah, it looks really easy, Ruhma.

Hiya. Hello. I'm doing Mehndi, which is a really ancient art form.

Come on, mate, take a seat and I'll get you sorted straight away.

Do you know, this takes years and years to perfect.

Mehndi dates back thousands of years,

to the ancient Vedic customs.

Also known as "the awakening of the inner light".

Or I've got some designs that you might actually like.

Why don't you come and have a look with me?

This one...

-I know, how about him?

-Yeah.

Perfect, take a seat.

First customer.

Hiya.

OK, give me the money.

Take your shoes off.

A bouncy castle! You like bouncy castles. Let's go!

-Jolly good.

-Come on!

Hello.

Madam, there's a queue.

There you go, darling. Off you go.

-Don't bump into each other.

-Ready. Ready.

Higher. Come to the front, darling.

Be careful.

Jump higher.

Is everything all right, Dr Carter?

Very well!

MUSIC: Celebration by Kool & The Gang

There you go. Don't drink it all at once.

Go on, then. It's £1 a go.

You might want to come in and see me about that. Karen?

Oh, no, 37. Ah, that's bad luck.

Was that the Glen Caldew?

Yeah, she was dead chuffed.

Said she was going to put it in her cocoa.

-What? Keep an eye on my stall for me.

-What?

Hello. It's £1 a go.

I was saying... What?

I have to admit it is all going very well.

Really?

The bouncy castle was a very good idea.

And the band, they were wonderful.

And I nearly got us a celebrity.

Thank you, Dr Carter.

-KAREN:

-Bad luck!

Guess the olives in the jar?

-No, you are not having any cake, Joe.

-Aw.

-Oh, you couldn't do me a favour, could you?

-What's that?

Take Joe to the bouncy castle? Only for ten minutes.

I'm due on the coconut shy.

Thank you so much. Just a minute.

There you go, darling.

Don't spend it on any treats! Or anything sweet of any kind.

Hi.

Mike Dunaway. Midlands Focus.

Hello.

I couldn't help noticing you.

-And why would that be?

-Well, the truth is,

I just wanted to ask you a couple of questions, if that's all right?

-What about?

-About one of your work mates - Dr Reid?

Have you got a cat?

These ones are more for wedding ceremonies, festivals.

Can you do a rabbit or something? Or a cat?

Well, these are for adults, really...

Nice one, Mum, top saleswoman.

You love pussycats, don't you, sweetheart?

I'm sure I've got something for kids...

Oh, look, there you go! Come on!

-I told you.

-Right, I've just got to do the black bits now.

-Hiya.

-Do you do cats?

Erm, I can do...

tigers. Rarr!

-All right, that'll do.

-She's not allergic or anything, is she?

No. She's had it done loads of times.

Great. I'll be with you in a minute.

-You got it, then?

-She drove a hard bargain.

Michael. I didn't think you were going to make it.

Well, we wrapped early. So I thought, why not?

-Well, that's very good of you.

-Least I could do.

-So you're going to say a few words?

-Um...I don't know.

Now, Joe, remember what Mummy said.

Hello, Joe, what can we do for you?

I really don't think he should be gambling.

In that case, would you like one of these?

There you go. Oh, you want that one?

Oh, bless.

Is this really necessary?

You did say "anything."

Oh... Can you all hear me? Good.

I hope you're enjoying our summer fayre and you're

buying lots of things.

We've got a local celebrity, who I'm sure you'll all recognise,

who'd like to say a few words of welcome.

So here he is, Mr Michael Dunaway.

Hello, everyone.

Hi. Excuse me.

-And welcome to this wonderful event...

-How exciting!

..to raise money for cancer charities,

run by the Mill Health Centre.

Now, I have been living and working in the Midlands for most of my life.

One of the things that most stands out for me

is the pride we all take in our local communities...

Very well done, Dr Carter.

All in a good cause.

..Getting on that train to Euston and never looking back,

but not any more.

Our local universities, interests...er...

our local industries and, yes, our health services too

can hold their heads high, ranking, as they do,

with the best that Britain and indeed the world has to offer...

You do know why he's here, don't you?

-Because I asked him?

-He's trying to dig the dirt on Emma.

-What?!

-He wouldn't do that.

-Heston, he's a reporter.

-He's also a personal friend.

OK, he's been asking me lots of questions.

And he left this on my stall.

That's just a coincidence.

What makes you so sure?

I have my reasons.

People stop me in the street from time to time and say,

"Michael, where are all the good news stories?"

I do not trust this man.

What do you want me to do?

He could say anything up there!

Heston, she's right.

We are duty-bound to report them,

whether they show our city in a good light or not,

but as a respected colleague once said to me...

when I was a fresh-faced trainee just out of college,

"It's the facts, Michael! The facts that count."

To which I replied...

Thank you. Thank you very much.

I hadn't quite finished.

Michael Dunaway, everybody. Thank you.

-Who is that bloke, anyway?

-No idea. There you go.

Do you want to look in the mirror?

-Aw! You look gorgeous.

-There you go, sweetheart.

Thanks a lot.

This is a disaster.

Not on my watch.

FEEDBACK FROM MICROPHONE

Um... Hello...

-Do you want one, mate?

-I think Joe's had enough already.

-Actually...

-Is there a problem?

-His mum will kill me!

I am very proud to say that I work

at the Mill, the greatest health centre in the world!

Yeah!

The doctors, nurses and other health professionals you see here

-today...

-It gets worse.

..are, to my mind anyway, the best there is.

Hear, hear.

Their dedication and commitment is second to none.

But I have also been a patient

and it is no exaggeration to say that I owe my life to our

Health Service and to fantastic men and women like these.

And I would like to give something back.

And I urge you all to do the same.

To help them fight diseases like cancer

by funding research and just by showing our support

for the fantastic work they do.

APPLAUSE

I would like to finish by saying a really big thank you

to all the wonderful people at the Mill.

You mean the world to me, honestly.

You're like my very own family.

True local heroes.

Yeah!

Spots! She's covered in spots!

-I did ask you.

-Aaah!

-Al?

-It's going to be fine.

-I did ask if she was allergic to anything.

Yes, well, I wouldn't expect this from a group of doctors, would I?

-Sorry.

-OK, let's try and remain calm. Hello, tiger.

Can you stick your tongue out for me?

Where did you get those face paints from?

-From the discount shop.

-Oh, my...!

Well, we are supposed to be raising money for charity, Mrs T!

-Clear your stall up.

-Are you serious?

Why have you been asking all those questions?

I was just interested, that's all.

Remember what I saw earlier? You don't want that coming out.

I'm sorry. Is that a threat?

Your castle's going flat.

I'll be back.

MUSIC: Freedom by Wham!

My baby!

Let's get her inside, shall we? Come on, tiger!

-Now!

-Come on!

-Oh-oh!

-Look after the coconut shy?

-Huh?

-The money!

Oh, yeah. Come on, Joe. This way.

Can I be of any help?

Oi, you! What do you think you're doing?

Now, Joe, please just stay there.

Can we have a go then, mate?

Oh, no, we're closed. Sorry.

It's a shame, innit, boys?

Ow!

-No way, no way!

-Joe? Joe?

Joe?

Why did you do that?

Spoiling everyone's fun!

Rob Hollins, where are you when I need you? Honestly!

Don't see why I should get the blame.

-Of course not.

-It wasn't my fault.

Still, could be worse.

You could be Emma Reid.

Sorry, what did you say your name was again?

Michael. Close friend of Heston's.

Know her well?

Emma? Oh, yeah. I live with her. She's ever so nice.

Maybe a bit too nice?

No, I wouldn't say that.

MUSIC: The Locomotion by Kylie Minogue

There you go. Down you go.

What happened?

Some nasty little yobs.

And where's Joe?

Sid, what have you done with him?

Sid, I trusted you.

Hi!

Marion?

Darling.

Oh, it was such an awful flight.

Yes, I heard.

Where's Joe?

Well, where's Daniel?

He went home to get things ready.

Jo-oe! Grandma's here.

Why aren't you with him?

Well, he thought you might be needing some help.

And I couldn't wait to see my little man.

Well, where is he?

Don't tell me you've lost him.

Joe?

What on earth is going on? Joe!

Joe!

You've got yourself quite a bump there, mate. Where's Joe?

Does seem a bit unprofessional of her, though?

No, I don't think so.

So you think she was just being naive?

She was just trying to help the poor girl.

-And she didn't stop to think?

-Excuse me.

-Sorry?

-I just wondered if you could sign this?

I watch you on the news all the time.

My pleasure.

So you're a reporter, then?

-Oh, he's very famous.

-Well, hardly.

You must think I'm really, really stupid.

Just because he's on some rubbish little programme that nobody watches.

-You little rat!

-There's no need for that.

-What's going on?

-He was trying to find out stuff.

-About what?

-That doctor in the paper.

Well, I'm sorry but it does happen to be my job.

Give me that! I did not say you could use anything...

Out! I said, get out.

Take your hands off me! What is the matter with you?

You should be ashamed of yourself. This is a charity event!

Now go! And do not come back!

MUSIC: Sound Of The Underground by Girls Aloud

Joe!

Joe!

-Joe Granger-Carmichael.

-Joe! Joe!

Where are you? Come here this very minute!

Joe, I am warning you.

Joe!

Joe!

Found him!

Joe!

Who are these boys?

They're a bunch of louts.

Luckily our local lout is feeling much better, aren't you?

Here he is, all safe and sound.

Thank the Lord.

Oh, you poor little mite.

Weren't they looking after you?

-What happened to Michael?

-Mrs Tembe got rid of him.

-Serves him right.

-Nasty little worm.

Poor little chap. Has Mummy been giving you too many sweets?

As a matter of fact, I've been trying, all afternoon,

-to keep him away...

-You haven't been trying hard enough, dear.

JOE RETCHES

Oh!

Oh, Joe! Joe, darling, are you OK?

-Oh!

-I can't believe it. This is because of all the chocolates that you ate.

I told you not to eat so many sweets and now you've been sick...

I think we should go home.

All over Grandma.

I think maybe we'll skip the tug-of-war.

Yes, I really cannot cope with anything else going wrong today.

EXCLAMATIONS

Mrs Tembe!

Oh, my...

We're home! In you go, sweetheart.

-Hi, Mum.

-What a day!

-Here, let me.

-We had a bit of an accident.

Well, more than one, if truth be told.

Well, this is great. We're all together.

-Where did you put my cases?

-Landing at the top of the stairs.

I really must go and get changed.

-Hey, babe.

-Don't speak to me!

What a wonderful day, I've really enjoyed it. Thank you.

Thank you very much.

CHURCH BELLS START RINGING

Any indications this is nothing more than another dead homeless person?

Don't. It's a suspicious death so we don't want to risk contamination.

I will soon be your full-time team-mate.

Daniel said it was your favourite boutique.

-I was worried you wouldn't like it.

-For me?

"Will you walk into my parlour?" said the spider to the fly.