Rock-a-Bye Baby Doctors

Bea?

Why aren't you at work?

You look tired. Love, you should get some more sleep.

Urgh...

I didn't get in till five.

It was kicking off all over the place.

I thought you weren't getting involved in fights any more.

When I'm the only doorman who can handle himself?

You should put some arnica on it.

It's fine.

So you're not going in today? Internet's down.

So, got to work from home again.

Right.

Morning, campers! Morning.

It's a bit early for a cold call.

Zara Carmichael.

Er...

Yes, I'm sorry. I've got a clinic this afternoon.

Mm-hm.

Oh...

Maybe next time.

Thank you.

Please...!

What?

Oh, one of the mothers from Joe's school inviting me to some

getting-to-know-you session at some pretentious yummy mummy cafe.

Sounds nice.

If you like spending your afternoon off

with a bunch of bird-brain uber mums

tacitly competing over their soya milk frappuccinos.

Bit harsh, isn't it?

Oh, you should see the school run...

Fleets of teeny women in their massive four-by-fours,

drowning in their fake fur gilets

and simply dripping with so much cubic zirconia

it's surprising they can even get out of their cars at all.

They certainly can't drive them!

What?

What?!

HE CHUCKLES

Oh...!

Why didn't you say something?

HE LAUGHS

I was going to wait till you'd woken up properly.

You know what you're like. Yeah. A megastud!

Just put me down.

Oh... Yeah.

Anyway, look, tests, they can give a false positive.

Oh, you clever, clever girl!

Mwah!

Go back to bed, love, cos you're going to be really tired.

You'll be exhausted tonight. Who cares?

This is amazing!

We should call the doctors, do tests and stuff.

No, it's fine!

Is the number in your mobile? Look, I won't get seen for days.

Vic!

Hello.

Yeah.

Yeah, my girlfriend's just found out she's pregnant.

HE CHUCKLES

You're not actually supposed to study on a study day.

It's just so the teachers can have a jolly.

We can't all spend our time ten-pin bowling

and brown-nosing Mum's boyfriend.

Huh. Won't be much more of that

since he found out I was fishing about Dad.

Yeah, well done, Sherlock!

You try, if you're so clever!

It's not fair on Heston. It puts him in an awkward position.

Oh, so we're supposed to just wait for Mum to spill the beans, are we?

He could be a murderer or anything.

It'd blow our lives apart if he's something really dodgy.

Hey, OK. Chillax, man.

I get the message.

So your last period was...?

I don't know, six weeks ago. I had a little bit of bleeding.

But I just presumed it was the menopause.

Your first pregnancy in your mid-40s.

That's got to be a bit of a surprise.

Understatement of the year.

So...a bit of bleeding, spotting.

That's not uncommon in an early pregnancy,

but we'll keep a little eye on it, given you're an older primip.

Older primip?

What is this, Planet Of The Apes?

Sorry, that's the technical term for first-time mums over 35.

So...you're sure that we're pregnant?

Yeah. Tender breasts, morning sickness, two positive tests.

I think it's pretty conclusive.

I'll send your bloods for test

and I'll refer you for a 12-week scan.

Do you want me to do another stick test, Bea,

in case the ones you bought were, you know, faulty?

No, it's all right. I did one about ten days ago

and that was positive, as well. Ten days ago and you didn't tell me?

I could kill you sometimes!

So...last period, six weeks ago?

Well, it weren't in June.

Remember, you had that big one on holiday. Talk about timing!

No. The first week in June. That was the last one.

But that would make you about 14 weeks.

Best get cracking.

She'll be popping it out in no time.

Well, you're through the first trimester.

That's when most miscarriages occur.

But you should see a consultant, though.

When you're an older mum,

there's a slightly increased chance of Down's

or complications. Complications?

That's not going to happen, baby.

Cos we're going to be super careful.

Have you always been on the small side, Bea?

Well, she's lost a bit of weight, actually.

I can't eat, cos I feel so sick.

So it's not me putting you off your food, then, eh?

well, try and eat as healthily as you can.

You know, little and often, keep your good fats up.

So that's avocado, oily fish, that sort of thing.

No seafood and no unpasteurised stuff.

I looked it up.

I'm going to push St Phil's for the consultant's appointment

and get your scan done as soon as possible.

So...have you got any questions?

OK. Any problems, you know where I am.

Aye, we do. Thank you.

We're really lucky.

we only met a couple of years ago and what with Bea's age,

we, er...only dreamed this would happen.

Bet you never thought you'd end up with a thicko like me, eh?

It's a miracle.

Yeah, yeah. So soon after... Ow! ..coming off the pill, as well.

Sorry. I, er...

I don't know my own strength. Yeah, well, some men don't.

OK, well, I'll, er...I'll see you out.

It's just along here.

There we go. Well, thanks again.

Oh, you're very welcome. Can't wait to meet the little sprog.

We'd better start thinking of names, eh?

When did you come off the pill?

He looks happy.

Yeah, yeah, should be.

She's 45. The first?

Yeah.

And very lucky.

Yeah, she seems more in shock at the moment, though.

Mm, well, it does take some getting used to. Of course.

I'll see you later.

Give me caffeine, quick!

Intravenous or oral? Both!

Joe keeps waking up obscenely early.

Is he excited about school?

Bouncing off the ceiling.

They're very good at drawing in kids these days.

I'm very impressed with Shak and Alia's schooling.

He'll do really well. Fingers crossed.

I remember my first day at school. Utter trepidation.

Really? Book-boffin like you?

No, it was somewhat portentous. I was bullied for years.

SHE SIGHS

Hope the little blighter doesn't take after you physically.

He'll never be able to handle himself in a fight.

I, er...just got this feeling...

..it's a boy.

Are you all right? Yeah, I'm fine.

It's just that you've been a bit funny with me recently.

Yeah, well, it's probably hormones.

I was a psycho with PMT,

so God knows what I'm going to be like with the pregnancy hormones...

Right.

You said...you'd been off the pill two years.

Yeah, I have. So why would the midwife mention it?

My age. I've been on it for decades, so...

I thought you said you hadn't been with another bloke

for a while before me?

Why are you so possessive?

It's got nothing to do with you!

It has, if you're keeping things from me.

Ow!

Sorry.

I'm sorry. Bea...!

I'm not thinking straight.

I... I haven't slept.

Bea...!

Have you seen my, er...

Lightweight.

All these versions of possible Dad keep popping into my head.

I've been like that for months, years.

What's your favourite version?

Formula 1 champion.

Concert pianist.

Forklift truck driver.

We could search on the internet.

I don't think that's a good idea. Oh, don't be so negative, man.

We've got his name and a place of birth from the wedding certificate.

Can't be that difficult to find. Find what?

Er...

My MP3 player!

It's in your hand.

Duh...

Playing hooky again?

So that's where I get it from.

Just you try. No, I've got to get back to The Mill.

I forgot some notes on a meeting.

Mum... Mm-hm? What was I like as a baby?

Cheeky little handful. Like you are now.

Good job Alia took after you, then.

You were both...no trouble at all.

Making up for it now, though, aren't you?

Right, I will see you later...

losers!

Could you have been more obvious?

Well, I'm fed up with all this farting around!

Oh, hello again.

I need to see someone.

Sister Hanif isn't back until later.

No. A proper doctor.

She is a fully-qualified midwife.

So what is it about the word "doctor" that you don't understand?

I understand perfectly, thank you.

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

Earliest we have is tomorrow at five.

No, it can't be till tomorrow. It has to be now.

Dr Reid, your next patient has cancelled.

Would you mind fitting in Miss Ward?

I'd be so grateful.

Yes. Yes, of course. Follow me.

Right, have a seat.

How can I help you?

I want an abortion.

Right. OK.

Erm...well, let's have a look.

Well, I can see here that Sister Hanif thinks you are 14 weeks,

so that leaves you ten weeks until the legal cut-off point.

I thought doctors weren't supposed to make moral judgments.

I wasn't making a moral judgment.

I'm simply saying you've got some time.

So there's no need to panic.

Who's panicking? I'm not.

Well, you look rather stressed to me.

Well, you would be stressed if you wanted to chuck up all the time.

Er...

look, of course, this is absolutely your choice,

but you have spoken to your partner about this?

Yeah, and he's fine with it. Right.

And if the NHS can't do it now,

I'm happy to pay for it.

How much is it?

Well, it can be anything between ?500 and ?900.

And, erm...you can have a general anaesthetic?

Usually up to 18 weeks, yes.

Good.

Look, this is in no way a moral judgment,

it's just protocol that I ask...

You have considered this matter fully? Yes! Yes, I have.

I'm not going to change my mind.

OK, look, if your decision is the same, OK.

But I really would encourage you to take a bit more time

and to talk things through again with your partner.

Thank you.

BABY CRIES

I just don't know what to do. We changed her just before we came out.

She was fed? She's been fed.

Well, just check her over.

BABY CRIES

Look, let's just get her home and...

I need to see Dr Reid.

She's on lunch at the moment. What about the others?

Afternoon surgery doesn't start until four.

There we go.

Hiya, Bea.

Everything OK?

When will Dr Reid be back?

Is there anything that I can help you with?

No, I need Dr Reid.

Look, why don't we just go and have a little chat?

I'm fine. I'm fine. I will be fine.

Hey, come on.

Just for five minutes.

Please.

Why don't you take a seat?

I want a termination.

And I don't want any lectures, any judgments,

or any last-chance hysteria.

I've thought about this a lot and it's the right decision.

Bea...

I'm sorry, but this morning, you know, Vic, he seemed very keen.

He was over the moon, in fact, and I...

Well, I just wonder, is there a reason

why you haven't brought him with you?

Yeah. Just let's all tiptoe around Mr Nice Guy, as usual!

Cos what about my needs?

Why don't you sit down? I don't want to.

OK. Bea, do you feel pressurised by Vic at all?

What does that mean?

Well, I'm...

I'm picking up on what you said, you know, about tiptoeing around him.

Do you...?

Do you sometimes feel a bit bullied by him?

No.

Emotionally? Physically?

I don't know. I don't.

I noticed you pull away from him,

you know, when you were leaving and...

He's a big, strong man.

Do you ever feel intimidated by him?

How dare you? You're making assumptions about our relationship!

This is totally unprofessional!

What kind of place is this?

Twice I've come here

and I'm asking for a procedure

and I'm getting met with arrogance and amateurism!

I'm going to make a formal complaint.

And I'm not coming back here.

Bea...

DOOR SLAMS

Vic? Oh, you're here.

I don't feel well. I'm going to have a rest.

What's this?

I don't know.

Well you've been looking at it.

When you type in "maternal issues" all that sort of stuff comes up.

So why would you look at it?

Please, don't be angry.

Why?

It's what we both want, isn't it?

Isn't it?

You said I was the love of your life,

the only man you've ever wanted to have kids with.

I'm having second thoughts.

About kids?

Or me?

I made you some tea.

Come on, don't sulk. I'm not!

Well, you're doing a pretty good impression.

So I'm supposed to feel exactly what YOU tell me to now, am I?

Talk about being a control freak. I'm not being a control freak.

Not much.

"Oh, we can't look for him, he might be a murderer or something."

Well, he might be! Don't be so ridiculous.

Seriously. What are the chances of him being a murderer?

I just don't understand why you want to rock the boat.

Mum's happy. We're happy.

Then why can neither of us stop thinking about it, then?

I bet you know exactly what he looks like in your own head, don't you?

Look, Mum's not going to like it, for whatever reason.

But this is our right, Alia.

We've got a right to know who our own father is.

He's not dead or anything. She would have told us.

But what if he is? Exactly.

We would never have known who our own dad is.

HE SIGHS

Look, I could start searching without you, easy.

But I don't want to.

It's me and you or nothing.

Alia...

Are you going to wait another 15 years?

OK, then.

Let's do this.

SHE SOBS

All right, Bea, love, I bought these to...

What are you doing? You're going to harm the baby!

There's not going to be a baby! You don't mean that, Bea!

Get off! Get off me!

Please! Please...! Come on, it's all right.

SHE PANTS AND SOBS Whoa...

SHE PANTS AND GASPS

PHONE RINGS Why does everybody ring when we're closed?

Because they're checking we ARE closed.

Mill Health Centre.

It's Vic Morton. Is the midwife lady there?

Bea's gone ape.

Erm, could you hang on a minute?

It's Vic Morton. He's worried about Bea.

Oh, thanks.

Hey, Vic, it's Ruhma. Is Bea OK?

No. She was weightlifting,

then she went nuts at me and now she's having a panic attack.

Right, OK.

Stay with her and keep her calm, I'll be there as soon as possible.

Shall I do the breathing into the paper bag thing? 'Yeah.'

If she's feeling faint, do.

OK, bye.

SHE PANTS AND GASPS

Easy. Hey. Come on. Shhh...

Everything all right?

It's Bea. She's having a panic attack, lifting weights.

She really doesn't want this baby, Emma.

18 Marsh Street. 18 Marsh, thanks.

Do you want me to come with you? No, it's fine. It's on my way home.

I'll call you if I need you. OK. Night.

Here you go.

Why is it that men never make a swift exit unless it's to the pub?

Need to rescue Joe from the child minder. Or vice versa.

Funny.

Either way, they costs a small fortune.

How did you cope with Chris?

I befriended the other mothers

and then we would take it in turns to do the after-school stint.

Friends in the playground... Yes, it can be very useful.

Especially for finding out what's going on.

What, like who stole who's Transformer?

No, more of which of Joe's friends to invite for a sleepover

and which ones are likely to end up on drugs.

And most importantly, who's sleeping with the head.

If we're talking subterfuge, that's right up my street. Mm.

I find befriending the classroom helper the most useful.

They can tell you what the teacher really thinks.

I've got no problem with recruiting an in-class spy.

Hm, you'll be head of the governors in no time.

Bea...

Bea, it's Ruhma from the surgery.

Are you OK?

SHE SOBS QUIETLY

Why don't you come and sit on the sofa, you'll be more comfortable?

You seem really anxious.

Did you two row or anything?

A bit.

She wanted a termination.

She came to see you about it?

Is there any reason why she would have changed her mind?

Well...

I guess we haven't been getting on too well lately.

I've not slept for weeks, so I'm moody.

But she's even worse. A proper ratbag!

Have your fights got heated?

Who said anything about fights?

I wouldn't hurt a hair on her head, if that's what you mean.

Oh...I get it.

Just cos I'm a big bloke, eh?

Perhaps you should just leave us alone for a minute, yeah?

I do not hit her!

No, don't leave, Vicky! Don't go!

Vicky!

Hey, hey, I'm here.

It's all right. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I love you so much. I'm so...

I know.

I know. Come on. Come up here.

Come up here.

Come on.

That's it.

There we go.

Just sit down there.

That's my girl.

How's my ba...?

No!

I didn't do anything. It's not you.

But she is terrified of something.

Bea are you worried about this baby?

Hey?

Is it the baby being inside?

Is it the birth?

Shhhh...

Is the thought of giving birth terrifying you?

SHE SOBS

Come here... Shhh, it's OK.

Hey, come on. I've got you.

SHE SOBS

Every time I think I'm getting somewhere,

these sites just want money.

And I'm on page 43 of the name search results.

Nothing.

This site claims to be free.

Amir Hanif...

Hang on, it's searching.

2,480 results.

USA, Canada, France, Dubai.

How are we going to get through all these?

Profession...

construction worker.

Now it wants me to register. So? Register.

What if they start sending letters? or e-mails and Mum sees?

Just invent a fake name.

I'll bet they want money in the end, anyway.

HE SIGHS

Why can't it all just be simple?

Fear of childbirth is a well-known medical condition.

It's called tocophobia. Really? Mm-hm.

I tried to fight it, but...

..I convinced myself I was all right for five minutes,

then I'd remember and I...

Just, I want to rip myself out of my body.

I can't eat and I can't sleep

and I'm driving Vic mad. I'm just tossing and turning.

You've been in a state of hyper-arousal since you found out.

It's very exhausting, Bea.

Look, can you think, was there a specific trigger for the phobia?

Yeah, I guess.

My mum had a stillbirth when I was six and...

..she just started haemorrhaging.

Red, there was...glistening on her skirt

and dripping...

and her crying and...

..my little sister never arrived.

You never told me that.

I didn't realise how frightened I was until I became pregnant.

I just thought I didn't want to have kids,

you know, just never find "the one".

But you did come off the pill, so...

you know, you must have wanted a child.

Just seemed...

right with Vic.

And I know how much he wanted one,

so I finally stopped five months ago.

Five months?

You said two years. I'm sorry.

I'd have been so frightened, we'd never have had sex.

I just...

I'm a freak.

No, you're not.

At least you got back in time to stop me hurting the baby, eh?

It's going to be all right, isn't it?

It's unlikely that you've done any harm.

I'm so ashamed.

Don't be.

Tocophobia, it's much more recognised these days -

and with talking therapy, relaxation classes,

a clear birth plan,

even women with the severest form overcome it.

What is if that doesn't work?

We would refer you to a specialist team.

Look...

..if you really can't go through with this...

you don't have to.

But...

if you want to give it a try...

..then I'll hold your hand all the way.

No matter how much of a ratbag you are!

Hey?

I really want to try. I want to have your baby,

but I just...

Hey, Bea...

just one day at a time.

Yeah.

No pregnancy is without anxiety.

Lord knows, I've got two of my own, but...

Please, just try.

Cos it really...

it really is worth it.

I think I owe you an apology. Nah.

It's understandable.

I am a bit of a bruiser and I do get carried away sometimes.

Don't we all?

GUNFIRE ON MOBILE GAME

Do you have to do that? I was on level six!

Do you want to find Dad or not? Yeah. But how?

Come on, we need to be more forensic about this.

He worked on building sites. Maybe he worked his way up.

Foreman, surveyor, engineer...

Let's search for professional websites for builders.

What about this one?

"Construction Exchange UK...

"..Amir Hanif."

Nothing.

What about this one?

It's all Pakistan.

Well, who's to say he's still in England?

Well, I just presumed that. Me, too, but..

What about this one?

"Professional networking sites

"for the construction industry in Pakistan."

Worth a try.

"Amir Hanif, bricklaying, builder."

Do you think that's him? Click on his name.

No way...!

I'm busy.

Can I just say, how excited I am

to be the winner of the community arts scheme?

Do you have any idea how difficult it was to get this project approved?

There are people on the arts committee

just waiting to stab me in the back.

Have you got one of those recording things?

Turn it off. But...

No, go on. Let's see what happens.

GLITTER BALL CHIRPS A "YOOHOO"

# Oh, it don't mean a thing

# If it ain't got that swing

# Doo-wa, doo-wa, doo-wa, doo-wa, doo-wa! #

Strictly: Mission Fabulous continues