The Meteor Doctors

PHONE RINGS

Gregory?

Hello? What's the matter, love?

It's probably nothing, but did you move it?

Did I move what?

The meteor. It was in your study, now it's in the nursery.

No, I haven't moved it.

Look, it's all right. I'll be back as soon as I can.

It must have been me.

'Yeah.'

I must have moved...

Ignore me, I'm not thinking straight.

There's a lot on your mind.

Go get 'em.

'Hope the interview goes well.'

As soon as I'm finished...

Yeah, I know.

Hey. Emma's giving me a lesson in probability.

I was just saying I was at this private members' club last night.

And all right, I might have been playing a little blackjack.

Right. But it was a great atmosphere, fun people,

and most importantly, I won some money.

And on a school night.

Yes, well, it may surprise you, Sid, but I am over 18.

Anyway, I met this maths graduate from Cambridge,

and he turns out to be a professional blackjack player.

He has a system... Here we go.

1326 it's called - minimal risk, maximum potential for profit.

1326? What is it, the combination for the casino safe?

I don't know.

With blackjack, though, if you make the wrong call,

you can really throw everyone else's game.

Lot of responsibility. Mm.

I'm sorry, I'm wittering on.

How are you? What have you been up to recently?

Are you still doing your photography? Not so much.

Oh. How about the real-ale thing you were doing with Al?

Are you still going?

No, not really.

Right.

So is there anything going on?

I did get excited about the autumn previews for TV.

There's some good programmes coming on.

Really?

No, Emma.

I haven't really got much going on at the moment, that's all.

Well, some advice from a friend. You need to get a life.

I've got one. It's just not very interesting.

Hiya, is it OK to park here? I've got a house call next door.

I'll only be ten minutes. Is it OK?

Hello? The car.

What? Yes.

Are you all right?

Have you locked yourself out?

I'm just waiting. That's all.

You were at the surgery, weren't you? With Ruhma?

I'm Ayesha, a nurse at the Mill.

Is that your overnight bag?

Yes.

Why don't you wait inside?

Sorry, I'm just a bit anxious about the hospital.

It's just I need to be told what to do.

OK, well, how about I tell you?

Come on.

Is there anyone I can call?

My husband will be back soon.

Are you having contractions?

No.

But I've got to find out what things I need to get before he gets back.

It's very important. Things for the baby? Mm.

Well, I hope everything goes well for you at the hospital.

What's this? Lucky rock?

It's a meteor. Sorry?

Ignore me, I'm just a bit away with the fairies today.

But don't worry, Gregory will be back soon.

You know how hormones can make you.

So you'll be OK?

Of course. I've got my pet rock. I'm fine.

All right, see you.

It's all right.

Don't worry. I'll get what you need.

LOW HUMMING SHE GASPS

Oh, I thought Emma was in here.

Nah, just me. You'll do.

They're not really me.

Serious head on. I need an opinion.

This one says calm, ordered.

This one a little bit more fun. Someone who likes a laugh.

Which? Hmm.

I've got to get this right.

I need all the help I can get at this panel meeting.

Just be yourself. You're going to be a great foster mum.

Is it "fun mum" or "sensible mum"?

They just want a mum.

Oh, I wish I wasn't bricking it so much.

OK, that one.

This one? Thank you.

I'll get the things you need. I'll get all of it.

I just need to know where to...

LOW HUMMING

Right, I'll do that. I'll do that.

Hang on for me.

Oh, I saw something you'd like.

Oh?

A meteor.

No way. Way.

It was about this big.

OK? Fragments that size rarely make it through the atmosphere.

Where was this? I went on a house call.

The woman next door was acting a bit strangely.

Had it in her bag.

She'd have got it on the internet.

Or maybe...it came from Barwell.

You've heard of Barwell, Ayesha?

50 years ago. Collectors from all over the planet descended on it

trying to find such a fragment.

Maybe it was that, then.

My pal Professor Anton Vasiloff wrote

a fascinating document about it. Did I ever tell you about it?

I'd better crack on.

Maybe we should get this lady in.

And she could bring the meteor in with her!

She seemed OK, just a bit distracted.

I think we should check it over. Check her over.

Right.

Hi, Sarah, it's me. Hope you're all right.

The first interview went OK,

I'm just waiting for the psychometric test.

But I wanted to say, we can get rid of that meteor if it's bugging you.

I want to do everything I can to make this easier.

Mr Garrod.

Got to go.

PHONE CHIMES

What are you doing in here?

The woman on the desk was looking at a jacket.

You can't just...

I thought you'd be at the hospital.

They sent me home.

I need some iodine. I was told you'd have some.

You can't just come in and steal stuff.

You don't understand.

I have to keep my side of the bargain.

I have to do what it tells me. What who tells you?

Look. You're not in any trouble. Just tell me what your name is.

Sarah. Sarah Garrod. But I don't have much time.

Who's telling you to do this, Sarah?

The meteor.

Why don't I give Dr Haskey a call, yeah?

He knows all about meteors.

Karen, is Al around?

OK, no worries.

OK, follow me.

Time waster.

Faking it.

SHE COUGHS

Typhoid Mary.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Come in.

Do you fancy coming to the Icon for lunch? For a change.

Sorry, I can't. I need to check up on this patient.

OK.

Anything else?

Yeah. It's probably nothing but are you worried about Emma

and this gambling thing?

No. It's just a bit of escapism. And who can blame her, eh?

She could lose some serious money.

I'm sure she can afford it.

You should stop worrying about other people and grab

a bit of escapism yourself.

You think? Yeah.

Why don't you come to the casino with us tomorrow night and

release your inner James Bond?

Yeah, OK.

SCOTTISH ACCENT: See you later, Miss Moneypenny.

That was dreadful.

No, that was Connery.

No. It wasn't.

Come on now, this is everything, everything that

you have asked me to do.

I've kept...

I've done my side of the bargain. Come on now.

Yeah, I'm still waiting here. So much for streamlining.

PHONE RINGS

Yeah, what is it?

I just wanted to talk to you about Sarah Garrod.

Who?

The meteor woman. She's taken some things from the surgery.

She says a voice is telling her to do it.

Right. Anything in her notes?

She had a depressive episode when she was 18. Nothing since.

'She's pregnant and her due date is any day now.'

OK, well, with her history, it could be auditory hallucinations.

OK. There's something else I wanted to know.

And this is going to sound really weird.

But she thinks there's something growing inside the meteor.

You're winding me up, right?

No!

She really believes it. She thinks the voice is coming from the meteor.

Well, those that made it to the ground never showed these

signs of life. But who is to say what is out there?

Yeah, thanks very much for that, Professor.

'Just keep me in the loop, with the research. Thank you.'

Helpful, great(!)

So, do I get an apology for having been kept waiting for so long?

I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting.

Is that sarcasm, Victoria?

Is that what you think it was?

Well, was that therapy there?

Believe me. I wouldn't have the time.

Shall we? Yes, let's.

Sarah, it's Ayesha from the Mill. Please let me in.

You're not in any trouble. I just want to help!

I know you've got everything that you need, but I'm a nurse.

Surely I can help too?

And my colleague who knows about meteors,

he's just told me all about them.

Thanks for letting me in.

You were making too much noise.

Leave it!

You don't understand, do you?

It's clear you don't know what you're doing.

It's OK. She won't interfere.

She won't stop. It's speaking to you right now?

You won't be able to hear it. It's made the deal with me.

Just stay away. You mustn't...

Looks like you've got everything ready.

Yes. It's helped me.

LOW HUMMING

It's nearly time! Look! See?

See what? HUMMING STOPS

Where did you get that?!

You weren't using it. Besides, this is an emergency.

What's inside it, Sarah?

I don't know what it is.

But I have to help it. Help it break through and live.

What about the baby? Shouldn't that be your focus?

It's all connected. I help it, it helps me.

How does it help you, Sarah?

It gives me my baby.

It's natural to feel anxious and scared

when you're about to give birth.

It can seem like a terrifying thing to do.

I can't leave it. It made the deal with me.

So, what, you help it hatch, and it ensures you deliver a healthy baby?

No. It gives me my baby back.

It completely reinvents the genre, it's very meta.

I like that, and who doesn't love Bernadette Peters?

OK, well, thank you for your thoughts on Deadpool, Al.

And for the latest on Doctor Who.

But perhaps we should get down to business?

Yes, perhaps we should.

OK, so you were referred for a fasting blood glucose test by...

Come on.

It was Dr Salter. You were at a convention.

Yes, I was.

It was interesting that you wait until you'll know I'll be at

Sword and Sorcery before coming in for your test.

What are you inferring, Victoria?

So you've come for the results?

That's if you can access them.

I can't at the minute. Gremlins.

So tell me the symptoms that made you want a glucose test.

My symptoms are going to be with my records.

Which are temporarily awol.

Besides, I like to hear it direct from my patients, and as

you saw Dr Salter, and not me, symptoms?

All right. Symptoms are thirsty. I'm thirsty a lot of the time.

And?

Your records haven't updated with ours yet. Yeah.

Thanks for your help. Bye.

I've spoken to St Phil's.

But it can be all right. It can all be OK. It said so.

I'm so sorry, Sarah.

Now you know why I've got to...

There's no other way, is there? I've been offered a second chance.

But this won't bring her back.

Listen, I can help you.

There are people you can talk to.

No. They will understand this and they can find ways to help.

All right.

Just give me a moment, yeah?

OK.

Sarah! Please let me in. Sarah, please open the door.

Stay away! It's coming. LOW HUMMING

It's nearly time!

Open the door!

So, tiredness. Increased thirst. Increased frequency of urination.

Is that everything?

It'll be nothing.

Just wanted to tick it off the old list of possibilities.

Al, you know these symptoms justified having a glucose test.

You know that this could be diabetes.

Well, we're not going to rush to any conclusions, Victoria.

Yeah, but the time you're taking, we're not.

I want you to try and think sideways.

Think outside that particular diabetes-shaped box.

OK. Have you made any lifestyle changes since we last spoke about

your raised sugar levels? Yes, I have.

I walked to Lichfield. That is 38 miles.

Excellent. Good. OK, any other forms of regular exercise?

HE MUMBLES

Nope.

OK. What about beer?

It's a bit early. But as long as you're buying.

HE CHUCKLES

Come on, you walked into that one.

You joke when you're nervous, don't you?

I'm not nervous.

Dr Salter wasn't like this.

The thing is, Al, you chose me as your regular doctor.

After researching all of us.

I thought you appreciated my directness.

I do.

OK. How many units do you drink?

Let's say three?

SHE SCOFFS

All right, fine, eight?

Eight, OK. A week? Don't be silly.

A day?

On average. You're factoring in weekends and stuff.

Yeah, about eight.

Sarah! Please, just open the door. Who are you?

I'm Ayesha, from the Mill Health Centre.

What's happening?

She won't let me in.

She's convinced that the meteor is trying to help her

and it'll give her a second chance.

She's been obsessing over that thing since we...

Sarah, it's me!

Go away!

I should never have got it!

How long have you had it?

A couple of weeks.

It was from my uncle.

But Sarah kept talking about it.

She's fascinated by it.

She thinks it's offering her a way back.

Sarah! Please.

Open the door. We can talk.

We never talk.

This is my problem. I'll sort it out myself!

I'm talking now.

I don't know what to say.

I'm sorry I haven't talked.

I feel dreadful but I've kept a lid on it.

A lid because maybe you needed me to stay in control,

be strong for the both of us.

I don't know.

And part of me felt I wasn't justified to feel the same hurt.

I'm the one who lost her.

No-one's to blame.

I've hated seeing you in so much pain.

But I'm devastated...we lost her.

All that's left are scan pictures and baby things that'll never be...

HE CRIES SOFTLY

I cry.

I just don't let you see it.

You haven't got diabetes.

Thank you, Erasmus Darwin!

But your blood sugar levels are still as high as last time.

Yeah. Or you could say that I'm stable. In a way, I've plateaued.

You had me worrying needlessly with your doomy assumptions,

and I have plateaued.

Presented with the evidence, Al, I was justified to say...

It was scaremongering, Victoria. Let's be honest.

You would have come to the same conclusion.

But the wrong conclusion!

Look, I thought that we were two supposedly professional people

discussing every possibility with candour.

I thought you preferred my straight approach.

Candour. I think I'm going to go with Dr Salter. I liked him.

Whatever. But think about one thing.

What caused these symptoms if it wasn't diabetes?

OK, thank you very much. Goodbye.

I've spoken to one of the doctors and he's put the wheels in motion.

Right. What do you think it is?

It could be something called postpartum psychosis,

but let's just wait till the mental health team get here.

And people with it usually behave like this?

There are a range of symptoms but hallucinations are common.

I think it might be a good idea to get rid of the meteor.

It seems to be a trigger for Sarah.

But the meteor came just before.

That must mean that they're connected.

What's happened to you is dreadful. But it's not connected.

Sometimes when you want something so badly,

you'll make bargains in your head.

We'll get through this.

Do you want to know what I think? I'm sure you're going to tell me.

I think it's raised because you are drinking too much.

And I'm sure I could look you up on the real-ale forums and see

you boasting about having a Splunge or a Fenton's Straight Finger.

I don't drink to excess.

But regularly enough. We've spoken about this before, Al.

Yes, we have.

Why do you come here, then? Hmm?

If you don't want my help?

You chose me out of all of the GPs in Letherbridge.

At first, I was flattered.

But you list the symptoms and then reject any interpretation.

You reject any discussion.

Al, you have sugar levels that could be classed as pre-diabetes.

Can we say, "impaired glucose tolerance," please?

We're not in America now. OK, whatever you want to call it.

And granted, it's not diabetes today.

But do you realise what this means for you if it does happen?

Yes, I do.

Potential nerve damage, loss of limbs, blindness,

erectile dysfunction, heart disease...

You're being an alarmist.

But that's what you need. An alarm - a wake-up call!

I don't want to see you back here, Al,

until you've made some lifestyle changes!

Hang on a minute, are you giving up on a patient?

No, I'm not. I'm just fed up of talking to myself.

I have other patients - out there -

who actually listen to what I have to say!

And you're already running really late.

If that's all?

SHE SIGHS

Hey. All set. What?

I have spoken to Emma and she's cool with

me coming to the casino with you tomorrow night.

Oh. Great, as long as you promise not to do your

Sean Connery impression again.

Oh, he hasn't been doing that, has he?

Oh, come on. It's the only one I can do!

Sid, back me up. THEY SNIGGER

You could do Daniel Craig

and come out of the lake just in your Speedos.

I won't be able to unsee that, ever again.

Since I cut back on prescribing antibiotics,

I could be Doctor No, couldn't I?

You can come as whatever you want tomorrow,

as long as you promise not to make a Royale idiot out of yourself.

See what you did there! Fine.

Well, if you lose big, don't expect me to give you any solace.

MILD LAUGHTER

I'm done.

Where's Al?

Blofeld's in his room. OK.

SCOTTISH ACCENT: See ya later.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Yeah.

Thanks for the advice earlier.

Oh... Yeah, everything work out OK?

It did for you.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Is that it?

Thought you'd be doing cartwheels the way you were banging on

about it earlier. It's...it's amazing.

All right, well, don't get too excited.

So you see, I'm thinking it's a warning.

My great-grandmother had second sight. Maybe I'm the same. Sh!

Get off the road, you stupid woman!

Come on, everyone. Your right of way.

Your consultant says that your memory loss may return.

That must be something of a dark cloud?

I try not to think about it.

There are more important things in life than a business meeting.

It wasn't a business meeting.