Distractions Doctors

I understand, sir, but surely, there must be somebody else.

No, that is...that is very kind, but I've got a few...

No, it's not really for me, you see, so, once again, apologies.

OK. Sorry. Thanks.

-Who was that?

-Work.

Oh. Anything interesting?

They want someone to do a community cable-telly thing.

-Doing what?

-PR need someone to give the police side. An interview.

-And they've asked you?

-Yeah, because they're desperate.

Apparently, Inspector Belgin is indisposed.

Is it not because of your natural charisma and your movie-star looks?

Aw! You're not going to do it?

-I've got enough on.

-Like what?

Training up newbies and mountains of paperwork.

-You'd give that a swerve.

-I don't anything a swerve!

All right, keep your hair on!

Aw, are you not going to do it?

Cos I've always fancied going out with a celebrity.

Ta-ra a bit.

You've got to be joking me!

PHONE RINGS

Gary? I was just answering your text.

I've been trying to get hold of you for ages!

Yeah, I should have got back to you and I didn't. I apologise.

Yeah. I've had an unfinished bathroom for three weeks now.

Listen, I could do the tiling today. Are you in now?

Well, I'm just off to work.

-DOORBELL

-Hold on. Bear with me.

Ta-da!

The grief I've had from Zara!

You're right to kick off, Doc. Look, I promise,

I'll have that bathroom fit for the Queen of Sheba by the end of the day.

-That's what you said last time, Gary.

-Shoddy show, I know.

Look, if I don't finish, you won't have to pay me for any of it.

I can't say fairer than that.

MUSIC PLAYS

PHONE RINGS

Lomax Plumbers can't get to the phone right now. Leave us a message.

Gary, it's me.

Look, can we please just talk?

I don't want this.

You have to stop punishing me like this.

Can we not run off, please? We're almost ready to go.

Sorry. Do you know how long it'll be?

-I've got to get back to work.

-We're just waiting on our police rep.

Drink this. It'll perk you up.

Good morning, campers. And how are we this fine day?

Full of delight and expectation

at a looming 48 hours of indulgence ahead.

What's that going to be -

a weekend of booze and boxsets, or are you getting your nails done?

I won't be doing anything other than trawling through this council-housing website.

Have you had enough of your new housemate already?

No, I'm not looking for me.

SID CHUCKLES

I was talking to Al.

She'll out-slob you any day, mate.

Ha! Check you out, wise guy(!)

So bold for one so young. Therapy must be doing you good.

-Come on, what's the secret?

-No secret, but, yeah, it is good.

I'm getting loads out of it. Clarity and stuff.

I could do with a dose of that right now.

I can't recommend it enough. Anyway, um...must get to work.

Wonderful! You're here!

Sandy Wheeler, director-operator.

Rob Hollins, Sergeant.

Yes! Thank you so much for stepping into the breach.

All a little last minute, I know,

but I'm sure you'll be wonderful.

-I'm not so sure about that.

-Yes, well...

Look, sorry to be brief. We've a lot to do, we're pushed for time.

Did they make you aware of what's needed?

Well, I've spoken to the press officer

and they've told me what you're looking for, evidentially.

We're covering the robbery at the jeweller's first

and you'll be filling in what the police have got so far.

And then we'll have you do a little piece of your own.

The friendly face of the constabulary.

Police and Pets. The public lap it up!

Anyway, I've got a few GVs to grab,

so we'll leave you to gather yourself. OK?

Oh, and this is, um...one of our witnesses to the robbery.

-Should I...?

-Yes, by all means.

-Hi. Rob.

-Oh, hi.

-First time?

-First time witnessing a robbery, yeah.

Oh, yeah. No, that's me being stupid.

To be honest, it's all making me a bit nervous.

Me, too. I just want to get it over with.

So, you're the person who nearly stopped the guy on the motorbike?

-It's in the report.

-Right, of course.

Yeah. Well, well done. Very brave.

I don't really know what else I can tell them.

Well, I'm sure they'll just want to hear what you saw, I-I imagine.

I'll mess it all up. I'll say the wrong thing, I know I will.

You'll be fine.

Hey, come on. What's the worst thing that can happen?

-Sorry.

-Deep breaths and all that.

It's just, um...things have been a bit tough of late.

Yeah. I do know what you mean.

That was gorgeous, loves!

You were filming?

Nice to grab some naturals.

Now, if we could just go again?

This time, could you put your arm around...Bev,

as if you're just being told about the incident?

And if you could let go a bit more with the tears?

-Ayesha, have you got a minute?

-Busy.

Please? I just, um...

Bit awkward. What was that about?

Just a little tiff, resulting in a change in domestic arrangements.

Talking of domestic arrangements, the tiles in the bathroom...

Yes. I have asked Gino.

-Gino, the designer?

-Absolutely.

You may enjoy bathing in prison chic, but I do not.

Not at the prices that he charges.

Don't you think it's the least you owe me after the fiasco with that conman?

Your mistake, you pay.

They'll be done by the end of the day.

You got someone else?

Yeah. They're there now, cracking on.

-Who?

-Gary Lomax.

Not leave-you-in-the-lurch-conman Gary Lomax?

What happened to, "I'm never dealing with that idiot again"?!

Do you want it done or not?

I'll get Gino on standby, shall I?

-Strife?

-Yeah.

She wants me to use some sort of designer guy to do the bathroom.

But, no, I've got my plumber, Gary, back.

Gary Lomax?

Gary!

-Hey. You come to see me?

-What?

-You got my message?

-I'm just grabbing some stuff.

I've been working up at Doc Granger's.

I thought you said it was too soon to think of anything else.

I need the money, plus Granger's been hassling.

So, you can deal with work?

Oh, come on. We're in separate rooms, it's...

I don't know how many times I have to say I'm sorry,

but, please, I didn't mean what I said.

It was all in the heat of the moment.

-Rick had got to me...

-Yeah, but he was my brother.

-WHISTLING

-Yeah, just one sec.

Ha-ha! Is that your five minutes of fame?

Can we not just make this right?

You'd best get on.

Please, I-I can't go on like this.

Gary?

Camera turning.

-Quiet, please!

-Quiet, please!

And mark it!

OK.

Beverley Lomax is a key witness to the robbery at Rattigan's Jeweller's of June 16th

and tried to apprehend the assailants as they fled the scene.

So, tell us, what happened?

Um...well, I was going back to work after lunch.

I work at the hairdresser's around the corner.

And this guy comes running out of the jeweller's and jumped on a bike.

And I just... I-I knew something was up.

Um...so I tried to grab him, but he pushed me off and that.

But I saw his face and I got the, um...the...the licence plate.

-Yeah.

-A have-a-go hero.

-I just did what anyone else would have done.

-Not everyone.

Cut! Let's pick it up!

I've just had an idea, my lovely.

Let's say it again, but this time, point to where they came from

and where they drove to.

-What happened to the reconstruction?

-Less is more, darling!

We'll imply the movement with a whip pan and sound effects.

Let's go again!

You happy so far, then?

HRH will love it, I promise.

Yeah. Coming along nicely.

Look, I wanted to say about this morning, sorry I was so curt.

Oh, no, you had every right. I let you down. Won't happen again.

I just spoke to a colleague of mine, Dr Clay at the Mill,

and he told me about Rick. I'm sorry.

Yeah. I shouldn't have let things slide, though.

Well, maybe you should have said.

Yeah. Stupid.

I wasn't thinking, really. I should've just called. Huh!

It must have been tough for you recently.

Yeah.

He'd been ill with the booze for a long time.

It just all kind of came to a head and put a bit of pressure on us all.

It wasn't really a surprise.

Well, you were absolutely right to take some time out.

Yeah.

It almost came as a relief in the end.

He was in that much pain.

That's a nice watch.

Yeah.

It's about the only bit of his kit worth anything.

-Look...

-Sorry.

-If you're not feeling up to this, then...

-No, look, I'm shipshape.

-I went for the white grouting.

-OK.

Honestly, you'll really notice a difference.

And that is a 100% Dr Vere guarantee. OK?

This confidence, nay brashness, I'm finding it a tad disconcerting.

People respond better to positivity, Al. You should try it sometime.

Hm.

So, what is it Megan actually does to you in these sessions?

S-Sorry, what?

Is she a Jungian, is she a Freudian?

We've been focusing on CBT mainly, with some integrated techniques.

I suppose CBT has some evidence of efficacy,

unlike regression therapy.

You can't be putting your life on hold while you sort things out.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

What she's offering is a temporary fix.

You may feel braver, but you're not.

You're still the same old you.

So motivational. Thanks, Al(!)

Listen, most shrinks are more troubled than their patients,

but whatever floats your dinghy.

Gary?

SHE SIGHS

SHE SIGHS

ANSWERPHONE: Lomax Plumbers can't get to the phone right now.

Leave us a message.

-The bike was stolen, too?

-Yes, that's right.

From Ash Terrace the night before.

And then it was found on fire up Passon's Parsage

with the numberplates changed.

Oh, I said Passon's Parsage, that should be Parson's Passage.

Don't worry. Pick it up. Just, er...keep rolling.

Pick it up? Er...

Just, er...after lunchtime on Friday...

No, not the whole thing. Pick up the last bit about the bike.

-Right.

-You're doing fantastically, darling. Honestly.

Just, one note, it's all a bit on one level.

Give it a bit of flow. Is that OK?

So, "Stolen from Ash Terrace..."

-Yeah. sorry.

-Oh, no problemo!

Right, give it some oomph, some personality.

-And rolling!

-The bike was stolen, too?

Yes, that's right. It was stolen from Ash Terrace the night before

and then found up Parson's Passage shortly after 3:00pm.

And the numberplate had been changed.

So if you've seen these men, or if you've seen the bike,

or if you have any information,

please contact Letherbridge Police on this number.

Cut! Lovely! Let's move on.

Not as easy as it looks, is it?

The training helps.

Mrs Lomax. Hi!

Sorry, Dr Granger. I thought you'd be at work.

Um...I don't mean to intrude, but could I have a word with my husband?

-Sure. Come in.

-Thanks.

What are you doing here?!

Rick's stuff's gone.

Can't we talk about this later?

I wasn't saying get rid, I meant that we needed a fresh start.

I had to hand his flat back to the council,

it made sense to get rid of the rest of it.

So, does that mean we're moving on, too?

I don't know how many times I have to say I'm sorry,

but, yeah, all right, at that moment, I did.

I did wish he'd hurry up and die.

He'd just trashed our place again, Gary.

Stole my money, wet the sofa, got us arguing again.

I'd had enough.

I couldn't just turn my back on him, Bev.

Yeah, he was your brother, but I'm your wife.

Not now, eh?

You want me to go? Fine, then, I'll go.

I can't stand the way you look at me every day.

You OK?

I just heard about Rick. I'm sorry.

Oh. Gary said he'd let you know.

I didn't mean to interrupt.

I know you've been hounding him to get the job done today.

Sounds like you've all been through a lot.

Yeah. Still have.

How so?

Oh, this? No, no.

I got this the other day, trying to stop a robbery.

Trying to do the right thing!

Mind you, sometimes I wish he would just let it out.

Sounds like his brother was a handful.

He was ill. You know, I get that.

He was driving me mad!

Me and Gary, we were arguing all the time.

And I told him I wished his brother would hurry up and die.

Heat of the moment.

I don't think he'll ever forgive me.

It's all straight down the bottle, darling.

Right to the audience at home.

Benji's got the cue cards, remember?

-Shall we give it a little run-through?

-Yeah.

We would like your help with a crime that...

Do you know what? I might need my glasses.

We're looking for your help in finding...

Could you put your hands up? You know, presenter posture.

Across your tummy?

It's, "on THE owners", not, "on owners".

Sounds a bit northern.

"On t'owners!" Huh!

Lovely accent by the way. Where from?

Yorkshire.

It also has a huge emotional impact on the owners.

BARKING

Do you know what? I don't think I'm cut out for this.

And action!

We need your help with a crime that has become all too regular of late.

-ICE-CREAM VAN JINGLE

-Dog theft.

-Oh!

Lunch!

Oh, let's try again.

Don't want to break crew hours.

Right, let's have some food. One hour exactly.

I'll be on the dining bus if anyone wants me.

Not stopping for lunch, Gary?

I've had enough interruptions. No offence.

I just wondered at what point today you felt that I was hounding you?

Just needed a little time-out, did you?

Sounds like things have been tough lately.

Emotions running high.

It's to be expected, isn't it?

Bev seems to have taken things particularly hard.

Seems like she's, er...really affected by what happened.

It's part and parcel of having an alcoholic brother.

You feel used and played all the time.

Well, then, maybe you shouldn't be punishing your wife.

I'm not.

Ah. Have you two sought some support for what's happened?

I don't need any of that nonsense. We know what happened.

Rick was not of this world.

He was never happy. He liked drugs.

He was always trying to get off his head, then he was dead.

You think he deliberately overdosed?

What did the postmortem say?

We're still waiting for the toxic thing,

but it's not rocket science, is it?

And so, you're blaming Bev?

Before Rick got really bad, me and Bev, we were great.

And then, as Rick needed more looking after,

it just all went down the pan.

We were arguing all the time.

It was really difficult for me because I was stuck in the middle.

And then we had this almighty row.

She said what she said and then we didn't speak.

She's sorry, you know.

Yeah, well, she only said it to me.

I said it to Rick's face.

"You're killing yourself anyway, so why don't you just hurry it up?"

From what I know, with chronic liver failure, Rick was on borrowed time.

Yeah, well, I probably helped him on his way.

It's done now, anyway.

It's not going to get your bathroom tiled, is it?

The glamour of low-budget production.

I just wanted to say thank you for giving me a breather.

It was getting a bit tough back there.

Alas, a selfish need. I'm diabetic, I have to eat.

Oh. Well, thanks, anyway.

She's on a tight deadline, but we've still got to have breaks.

She's...driven.

Huh! She's guarding her back.

Worried she's got new kids on the block.

Still, she's insistent on using you, so a bit of advice,

if we want to get home before midnight.

It might be a trivial thing you're reporting on,

but you need to give it a bit of weight. Yes?

OK, so dogs being nicked, it's not the most hard-hitting of reports.

Not the gritty, juicy stuff you lot see.

You know, the blood and guts and gore, but still...

Oh, no...you're an animal lover, aren't you?

PHONE RINGS

Ah. Hi, Simon. Thanks for getting back so quickly.

Yeah, I've cleared it with Dr Clay.

Uh-huh. It's about Rick Lomax.

Ready to go back on?

Replete with calories?

Sergeant?

Sorry? Er...yes.

Not going to be sick, are you?

You look a bit peely-wally.

Look, like I said, I'm not really cut out for this.

Pat head, rub tummy, it's all it is.

It's not really me and I don't want to let you down.

You can do it, darling.

Look, I asked for someone reliable and they sent you.

So someone thinks you're the man for the job.

-Hm!

-Shall we give it go?

Yeah.

Camera turning, and mark it.

And action!

We need your help with a crime

that has become all too regular of late.

And that's dog theft.

As well as being criminal,

it also has a huge emotional impact on the owners.

So I'm appealing for your help

to find Tyson, Flip and Rhubarb.

Three dogs that all went missing in the town centre

over a two-week period week commencing 9th June.

Hello, Sergeant! How are you?

-No, it's all right.

-Clear the frame!

It's all right. Hiya, Mrs Beeston.

We're just making a little local TV programme.

-Oh! Look!

-About stolen pets.

-I'll see you some other time.

-Yes.

Look, the clock's ticking and I...

Perhaps we should consider letting Rupert do this piece.

Is this you admitting defeat?

No, I can do this!

I really don't have any more time to waste!

I said I can do it. Honestly.

I could fix this tap for you, Doc.

What's she doing here?

I asked her to come.

Because I have some information about Rick.

I spoke to a colleague at the pathology lab.

There was no evidence of an overdose.

He died solely of liver failure.

So, no-one is to blame.

No drugs and no suicide.

Perhaps it's time to talk.

I am so sorry, Gary.

It was wrong to say what I did.

I loved him, too.

Please say you can forgive me.

I can't forgive myself.

I said it, too. I said it to Rick's face.

-What?

-Just before he d...

But...the way you...the way you looked at me!

-I'm sorry.

-That...that hatred!

-I didn't!

-You did!

You looked at me as if...as if you despised me!

You made ME suffer!

It seems to me that you've both said things that are damaging, OK?

But it's got to stop.

Gary?

-Gary!

-How could I say that?!

How could I say it to my own brother?!

Because it was tearing us apart!

-I've got to get back to work!

-No, no, don't worry about that.

Look, I promised I wouldn't let you down again.

And you haven't. What's left to do, a little bit of grouting?

So if anyone has been offered any of these three adorable pets,

then, please, we, and the owners, are desperate to hear from you.

Thank you.

And cut!

Did that work?

That was fantastic! Wow!

TRICKLE OF APPLAUSE

-I can do it again, if you want.

-That was amazing!

Couldn't have been better! Move over, Rupert!

Am...am I done?

That's a wrap on lovely Robert!

Mwah! Mwah!

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah.

Hey, Karen. These are for Mrs Khan's referral.

-OK.

-How's Rob getting on, have you heard?

No. I don't expect to either because there's no phones on set.

I expect he's dazzling them with his star personality.

He's bound to be. Hm!

Oh, Sid!

Hey. How's it going?

Good, yeah. Cracking on with it.

Listen, I've been meaning to say,

I'm sorry about all this stuff between me and Ayesha.

I hope you don't feel too caught in the middle.

No, I don't. It's between you two. I'm not going to be taking sides.

Good. Thanks.

We've been passing like ships in the night at the house.

I feel like I've neglected you a bit.

Don't worry, I'm fine!

How's things going with Megan?

Have you managed to sort through all the transference stuff?

Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

I've sorted some other stuff out, as well, so it's good.

Good. Great. Well, I'm really pleased.

Ayesha is doing fine, too.

She's doing really well at Al's and things with her and Bren are...

They're working. So...

Good. I really hope they do work. OK.

See?

Not bad. Eventually.

Maybe you were a little too quick to judge.

Really?

And maybe you should trust me a little bit more in future

with domestic situations.

Maybe if you hadn't mishandled the situation so tragically,

we'd never be here in the first place.

Oh. But a satisfactory outcome nonetheless, right?

Which probably deserves some sort of...reward?

How about test-driving the splashback in the shower quickly?

Maybe.

-DOOR CLOSES

-Hiya, love.

Ah! You're back!

-Yeah.

-How'd it go?

It was interesting.

-Are they going to ask you to do it again?

-I think it's a one-off.

-Really?

-Well, you never know. Good experience.

Aw! Well done. Mwah!

I'm gasping!

-ROB:

-So if you've seen these men, or the motorcycle,

or have any information, please call Letherbridge Police on this number.

God-awful! So unnatural.

What am I going to do?

Cut him completely and I'll do it straight to camera.

You're marvellous, darling! Let's do it!

The cancer has spread.

There are no more treatment options and I will die.

Why is your council block being demolished?!

You're like a walking advertisement for death.

I take that as a compliment.

You need to tell your fiance that he needs to leave immediately!

Wash all my troubles away! Scrub-a-dub-dub!

Wash that man right out of my hair, is it?!