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All right, champ!
What d'you fancy doing today?
You can't keep this silent treatment up. You're going to have to talk to me at some point.
TV: 'We've a team of researchers here in the park, tracking the elephants and letting me know....'
-Remind me why we're going to the pub at alky-o'clock?
-Cos I want to get a swift one in before we open up.
-Take the edge off.
-Still don't see why we got to work today.
Thought I was the slacker in the family, not you.
We've worked bank holidays before. What's so special about this one?
Here we go... one for you, one for you...
# Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday to you
-# Happy Birthday, dear Anthony... #
# ..Happy Birthday to you! #
-There you go. Bet you thought we'd forgot, didn't you?
-Course I didn't.
-25! I remember being that age.
-You got so much to look forward to.
-Yeah. And you could still knock back the booze without a raging headache.
Which is why our real plan for the day is a beer-fest in here...
followed by a special birthday surprise. Why are you worried?
Cos I know what your special surprises are like!
-Line your stomach with this, then.
-Shenice helped me make it.
Where is she? She was here a minute ago.
Here Birthday boy, come and blow it out, make a wish.
-'Hello, this is the Moon family. Leave a message. We'll call you back.'
'# Happy Birthday to you Happy birthday to you
'Happy birthday, dear Anthony... #
'How can you be 25 and I haven't aged a day?
'I'm sorry I can't be there. Have a good one, son.'
ANSWERPHONE: 'Messages deleted.'
Bet you can't wait to get back to the Spanish weather.
You won't get any summer colds over there!
Had a good time, though, didn't we?
I'll miss you and Alfie.
Can't spend your last day cooped up in here.
How about we...go for a picnic?
We could invite Tiff and Bobby.
Let's go downstairs and have some cake with the boys.
It's getting more homely, don't you think?
-What's that smell?
-It's the fish from the shop.
Lovely. You ready, then?
You sure you still want to come? I mean, after...
Look, just cos it's not going to be a double wedding any more
-don't mean I can't be involved in my daughter's big day.
-I wish you could come.
-More time I spend at work, more money we'll have in the bank.
He's right, and there'll be other wedding shows.
I doubt they'll all have the theme "brides on a budget".
Still, can't all be Kate and Wills, can we?
-Whatever we do, I know it'll be special.
-See you later.
-See you later.
-Were the police asking questions about Ryan again?
They're just worried. Cos he had to go away.
For a while, like Mum and Dad? Or forever?
I know that he's out there somewhere, and that he's safe.
But he can't come back to London. For a little while anyway.
That's why you've been upset?
-You've still got me.
You go upstairs and get ready for Shenice, OK?
What you been saying to Ryan?
-I haven't heard from him in days, and I know it's down to you!
-You don't know anything.
I know that we were fine before you stuck your nose in!
-What have you been saying to him to put him off me?
This is nothing to do with you. It's all down to me.
-Don't want to go.
-Shenice is going back to Spain tomorrow, isn't she?
-Don't want to go with YOU! I want to go with Mum.
-Mum can't have you, so tough! Bobby!
All right, Bobby? Come here, mate.
Bobby... Bobby! You listen to me, you are going to that picnic.
-I don't want to go with you!
-Whoa, hold on.
Your dad's going to no picnic.
He's going to have a drink in the bar with the lads.
Ant's birthday, more the merrier, eh?
And you, young man, go upstairs with Shenice and Kat. Good boy.
Have you or Mo said anything to anyone about...?
Course not! Schtum, innit? Come and have a laugh with the lads. Love to see you.
-Kat'll keep an eye on Bobby. Come on.
-I'd rather stay at home.
Here, I done you some breakfast.
I had my breakfast at the appropriate time.
And I ain't partial to fry-ups. Gives me heartburn.
-My Andrew loves a morning fry-up.
-That'll account for his size.
You eat it, stop it going to waste.
Food don't come cheap these days. That reminds me, you'd better get a job, start paying your way.
Cos I can't be worrying about bills. Dr Khan said I mustn't be put under stress on account of me migraines.
Oh, I was doing a wash, so I done your smalls.
"Small" being an overstatement. And I done some of your dresses.
-Unless you intend to hang around in that thing all day?
-I love my kimono! Comes from Japan.
Fancy yourself as a geisha girl, do you?
Out me way. What a mess.
-What do you think of my kimono, Arthur?
-Yeah, it's nice.
Oh, my days, I overslept! I'm s'posed to be working with Darren on the car lot.
Ain't you got time to have a few words with Whitney?
She needs her friends at the moment.
I'll try and see her after work.
Kinda thought she wanted her own space right now.
I shouldn't have thought so, Arthur.
Great strapping lad like you - you can't go to work on an empty stomach.
Here, I've done you a breakfast.
Don't see you in here very often.
Just fancied something quick and easy.
I suppose you don't do ready meals, being in the catering trade.
My Stace calls them No Mates Meals. On account of, you tend to...
I'm told the toad in the hole's very good.
How could he just go without a word?
I know we hadn't been going out that long, but I thought we had a real connection.
-You hardly know him, Lauren!
-You wouldn't understand.
No. Cos I've never had that with anyone, have I? Except for Billie, and he's dead!
-Yeah, and everyone else has been a user, or a liar, or just plain twisted up here.
I'm sick of your whining! Last week you said it's all about you. Who's it about now, Lauren?
Who's doing that now, eh? Have you even thought about how I might feel? In the last few days?
I've lost my brother!
And how I feel so sad about Rob, after everything he did to me.
And I don't even know why!
Sorry. I didn't think.
Just go... Just go.
I thought we'd go to the Vic for a drink.
I've got more important things to do with my time.
I promised Jim I'd make him a batch of fancies. That is, if I can find my cake tins.
You ain't shifted things around, have you?
-Cos you know I don't like no-one fiddling with my drawers.
-No change there, then.
-I'll go on my own then, shall I?
-I'll go on my own then, shall I?
-Yes, if you like.
Listen, sweetheart, I don't want you out all day cos you've got duties to do.
-Paddy's not here today and them glasses are not going to pick up themselves.
What'd your last slave die of?
-I don't mind.
-Thank you. See, you don't mind. Good girl.
I'm glad you changed your mind, mate.
-Like you said, it's good to be amongst friends.
-Shouldn't you be wearing black?
-Mate, I didn't say nothing. It was her.
-If it ain't Hugh Hefner!
Except Hugh Hefner doesn't have to claim his wife's dead to pull the birds.
-And he's twice your age!
-Who else you told?
Listen, Ian, mate, it'll be old news by tomorrow.
Look, who cares? Things can't get any worse. You going to come over and join us for a drink?
I'd love to, but I've got to keep a straight head to sort the picnic out. The lads'll look after you!
-You know the boys, don't you?
-They're the Moons.
-They'll be all right. Ant, Ty, got room for one more?
Want a cushion for that chair, Granddad?
-Why was Mo calling you Hugh Hefner?
I hate bank holidays. All this enforced jollity.
You're a hard woman you know, Cora Cross.
-I'll pop over and see my old friend, Dot.
-Patrick Trueman, you are going nowhere.
Now put your hand in your pocket. It's your round.
-Patrick? Patrick Trueman?
Dot has told me SO much about you.
-I'm her little sister, Rose.
-I didn't know that Dot had a sister.
She didn't mention me to you?
Yes, I remember now. She did mention it. Can I get you a drink, my dear?
I'll have a gin and it, please.
And I've got your number.
-The cars are all done.
-Right. Well, sure we can find you something else to do.
-Or you could give me the rest of the day off.
-I need you here!
Well, I will need you here, you know. It's going to get busy.
I put a special promotion online this morning. The punters are going to be flocking any second.
Darren, mate, bruv... It's gone three o'clock, man!
If anyone was going to come, they would have come already.
-Good times, brother!
-See you later.
Oi, come on. Are you two going to be like this all day?
-He started it.
You're meant to be here for Shenice, not wind each other up.
Whatever the problem is, for today, just forget about it.
-Tiff, you seen Whit?
-Yeah, Grandma Dot's with her.
When you come to stay, after you went away and there was all that trouble...
you was very quiet then.
You don't have to apologise. People don't have to talk all the time.
My sister, Rose, she's never stopped since she got here - chatter chatter chatter.
It's brought back me migraines.
So they want me to go to this counselling place.
-They reckon it's for people like me. "Victims".
-People like labels.
Makes life easier for 'em, put people into boxes, give it a name.
But there's more to you than that, Whitney.
You have to have strength to move on and focus on the good things.
And you have got good things in your life. You've got your family.
-Ryan. Probably won't see him again.
-Oh, you will. Look at Rose...
I never thought I'd see her again.
There she is, large as life, more's the pity.
Can't wait to meet her.
She's down the pub. Some things, they never change.
But I suppose I could pop in if you wanted to meet her?
Well, thing is, Dot...with the police going round and that... I think there'll be talk.
Be strong, remember? Say it to yourself. I am strong.
I'll go and let you get ready.
No need to get up, I'll see myself out.
I'll see you later.
All right, see you.
Here he is, the birthday boy!
All right, lads.
Where's the old man?
I think he's seeing his secret bird again.
He's at that antiques fair.
Been going every August bank holiday for years.
Hold on, you're telling me that junk in Moon & Sons comes from actual antiques dealers?
Couldn't he give it a swerve though, it is your birthday?
I ain't bothered.
Did he get you a present, make up for it or something?
-Sore point, don't go there.
Dearie me, well, that is for you, baby brother.
Fats, come join the party, mate.
Better get cracking, only five years left!
-Whitney not with you, no?
-Nah. Why d'you ask?
Ain't seen her for a few days, that's all. What you drinking then?
We won't have to scrimp that much.
-I'm just going to look at these at home.
-Want me to come with you?
-No, you finish your drink.
-I need another payment.
Hmm. No. You get paid the rest on completion, as agreed.
-I can't wait that long.
-Then I suggest you try harder.
You need to be cosying up to him a bit, what you doing?
You don't even know where he is, do you?
Where is he? See, you don't know.
You want more money - earn it.
I need to see you.
-Happy birthday, brother.
Mate! Three more, please.
Dot, Dot! Come here!
Is that her? She's made friends anyway.
Dot, this is Patrick.
Well, I'm well aware of that, seeing as he's Jim's best friend.
-I thought Dot told you about me?
-And this is Cora.
You was at my Tanya's wedding. You're married to Max's father, right?
That is correct. And I believe you're Tanya's mother.
Yeah. I suppose that means we were family once.
Yes. I suppose it does, in a sort of a way. If you'll excuse me.
Alfie, could I have a tomato juice. Whitney, what do you want?
I think I'll leave you to it, Dot.
I can't believe they're sisters.
They're sisters all right. She's Baby Jane, and she's Blanche.
All they need is a wheelchair.
Your sister's a bit of a live-wire ain't she, eh, Dot?
Half-sister. I suppose that is one way of putting it.
Thank you, sweetheart.
You going to fill me in on the locals?
If you knew me better, you would know that I ain't one to gossip.
Of course. Do forgive me.
Mind you, his auntie by marriage, Jean, she's got an illness.
Passed down through the family.
Once you get started on the Slaters, you don't know where to stop.
It ain't your fault, you know? Ryan leaving like that.
You're a lot stronger than you think, Whitney Dean.
Hi. Fats, can you give us a minute?
Yeah, no worries.
Look, I came to say I'm sorry.
-How big of you.
-I was well out of order before.
I'm in shock, I'm not thinking straight.
We're still mates, aren't we?
Yep, done that.
No way. You can't have all done a bungee jump as well?
Bungee jumping, best fun I've ever had with my pants on!
Come on, you must've done one!
I'm sorry, lads, there is more to life
than fast cars and dangling off some giant elastic band.
This is true. There are women!
-Which is why, as a special birthday treat to Anthony,
we are going to a...
-..lap dancing club!
-Not after what happened last time.
-Nothing happened last time! Did it?
-I'm up for it.
Oh, well... I was thinking family only.
He reckons he's got to stay here for Shenice.
-He'll be all right. Try him again.
Oh dear, it's all a bit pony, isn't it?
If you don't want to go, put your foot down.
Yeah. Maybe I should.
All right, Whitney? Not until we've had a little chat.
You'll come, won't you Fats?
-I don't know, you know, bruv.
-Thought it was family only?
None of us are going, all right!
Half the tubes are down for engineering and a cab'll cost us a fortune.
-I could drive!
-There you go, we've got a chauffeur.
I'm still part of the party, aren't I?
Yes, all right. Got to get your kicks somehow, Hef.
Come on, bruv, it's been ages since we had a proper night out.
All right. Go on then.
Yes, good boy.
I was hoping for a friendlier welcome.
Just tell me what you want.
I've had the Old Bill sniffing round,
asking questions about my recently deceased mate.
-So I'd rather you left my name out
-of any future chats you have with them.
-Get your hand off me.
-Or you'll what?
-I said, get your hand off me!
-You all right, Whit?
-Go on, get out. And you never come back in here.
Cos I swear, I'll tell 'em every disgusting, dirty little detail.
D'you understand me?
It's cool, bruv, I got this one.
Leave it, yeah. It's not your fight, is it?
He's right. Save it for the ring.
-Who was that?
-Lee. Rob's mate.
-No. I know you got my back. OK?
See, I told you you was stronger than you looked.
Come on, let's get a drink.
Fats! You ready for some lap-action?
-We're off to the club, mate!
Ty, I don't know if this is going to happen.
You ain't bottling out on me, are you?
Me? Nah, course not, course not man! Let's do it, let's do it!
Here, have a dance on me. Have fun.
-Come on, boy.
Fatboy, let me take you through Tyler's Laws Of The Lap.
Number one, sit on your hands at all times.
Naughty. Number two...
-Where you all off to, somewhere nice?
-Just a club.
-Sort of...theatrical dancing.
-Oooh! How lovely.
-Yeah. We'll see you later, Mrs B.
-D'you want to go home?
-No. I'm fine. I just need a bit of fresh air.
-That Lee. He seemed all right the other week.
-I know, tell me about it.
I didn't think about how they all treated you, Whitney.
I should have been there more, instead of mooning over Ryan.
-He's fine. I'm fine.
-But are you?
I will be.
-What's the hold up?
-I'm a bit short.
You can pay me back.
-Jean, I can smell burning.
-So can I.
I see a dark cloud lifting.
Sorry, are you talking to me?
An illness? It's better.
Not cured, but better.
Your children, they will return.
-You have two right?
-What do you suppose she's up to now?
-Earning her keep.
I think I underestimated your sister.
Number 24, don't ask for champagne.
In fact, don't even ask for fizzy water.
No champagne. No water... Why?
Number 25, it ain't a fairytale in there, mate.
There are no happy endings.
And those, my friend, are Tyler Moon's Laws Of The Lap.
-Right, let the dog see the rabbit.
-Let's go and watch girls...
-You've perked up.
-Well, it's been a while since our last bender.
- Plus, it's me and you. - Come on.
-You definitely ain't coming in. Not after last time.
-Come on, mate!
-Nah, just leave it, Ty.
-The rest of us can still go in though?
-Didn't you hear rule 16? Never leave your wing-man!
Mate, you know what, I...
-I am gutted.
-Fats, sorry, mate. Another time, yeah?
Well, maybe, d'you know what I mean, like?
So how's it going?
She's a bit more quieter than usual.
I think she's putting a brave face on.
Reminds me of someone I know.
Can you have a word?
-And say what?
Tell her she can still come and visit, that we won't forget her.
Please, Alfie, you're better at this stuff than I am.
-Go back to the pub, hold the fort, yeah.
Hey you lot, give me five on the high!
Five on the low, five on the side, you're too slow!
Kitten, come here, I want to chat with you. Shenice come here.
Just want to say, right, me and Kat both feel the same way,
we've absolutely loved you being with us here this last month.
-Why does she have to go then?
-Cos she needs to be with her mum.
Not everyone lives with their mum.
Nana Pat and Grandma Carol look after us and we don't mind.
Though Grandma Carol won't make nuggets as much as mum.
Not quite the same though is it, eh, Tiff?
What if I want to live here more than I want to live with my mum?
Shenice, you know sweetheart, I'd love you to live here, but....
-So let her stay then!
-Please, please, please!
All right, let me see what I can do. CHILDREN SCREAM
I still reckon we should have gone to another club.
You've been chucked out of every other one.
-See you later.
Say hello to your dad for me, if he bothers to show.
-Thanks for the lift, Ian.
-So whose round is it?
-Get off, I'm not joking!
We can do this the easy way or the hard way.
Your choice, darlin'! Sorry, mate, don't mind us.
-One last chance.
-Is she with you?
Do you know her? I said, do you know her?!
-Sorry, mate, I haven't got a clue who she is.
-Who is he?
-Who is he?
-Get off me! Ian, it's me! Wait! It's me. Look, it's me!
-So you don't know her?
MAN GRUNTS Quick, Ian, run! Run!
Quick! Quick, where's your car?!
CAR LOCK BEEPS
-What you doing?
-Let me in!
-Ian, quick, they're coming. Pease let me in! Please.
HARRY: So...didn't work out with the wotsit, then?
Find himself a younger model, hmm?
Does it matter?
So, what can I do for you?
Well, come on. I haven't got all day.
I need your help.
Course you do.
There you go. You should be safe now.
What you waiting for?
Not one for big reunions, then?
I don't know what was going on between you and that bloke,
but I just don't want to get involved. My life's complicated enough as it is.
He was my boyfriend.
if I could just get cleaned up a bit, have a bite to eat...
I know we had our run-ins all them years back, but...
I have changed since then.
Same old Ian Beale.
Where you going to go?
Back to where you found me. Where else am I going to go?
See you in another 20 years.
Er, h-hold on. I can rustle you up a sandwich or something.
But that's it.
Jodie getting married.
Seems like only yesterday she was asking me for a wedding Barbie.
I know, and remember how obsessed she was with it?
I can't give her the day of her dreams, Harry.
Neither can Darren.
But you can.
You seem to be forgetting one minor point -
-she's not mine.
But you raised her. You loved her like she was your own flesh and blood.
Cos I didn't know the truth.
Are you telling me you don't ever think about her?
You don't miss her?
I mean, don't you want to be there? Be the one to give her away?
And what about you and me?
Two weeks ago, you wouldn't even take my calls.
I know, I know, and I'm sorry about that.
I'd really like it if we could just put the past behind us.
Try and be friends.
One thing you and me never were, darling, was friends.
I'm willing to give it a go if you are.
For Jodie's sake.
Well, I never thought I'd find myself back in Albert Square.
I can't believe you're still here.
-Is that who I think it is?!
-Er, yeah. Come on.
All right, Ian?
All right, Pat.
This is Pauline's old place, isn't it?
Yeah, it was, till she passed away.
Is, er... Is Mark still around?
It was a few years ago now, but he got to see the world before he went.
I was always telling him he should ride that bike further than Walthamstow.
He was a good mate to me, Mark.
Always getting me out of trouble.
Like you at the club, coming to my rescue.
It was nothing, doesn't matter.
Sorry for, er, kissing you.
It's all right. I didn't really mind.
KNOCK AT DOOR
Oh, they'll probably go away.
LOUD BANGING AT DOOR
-Look, it's your ex. He must have followed us here.
Look, this isn't your problem.
-I should just go out there and face him.
I'm not going to let him hurt you again, OK?
Just wait here. All right?
Well, where you going?
Come on, cheer up. It's still your birthday!
If the bouncer remembered me, d'you think the dancers will, too?
They'll remember all right.
-Thought you were at some strip joint.
-Talked him out of it.
It's his thing, not mine. I think it's degrading to women.
-Did Tiff get off all right?
Yeah. The other two are about to start their Harry Potter-thon.
-Thanks for talking to Shenice. She seems a lot better now.
-Yeah, she does.
-Alfie, I need some muscle.
-You came to the right man.
-Tyler, brring your brother. Come on, quick.
-You an' all.
Kat, hold the fort, darling.
-You got to admire her front.
-Oh, I'll say.
What do you think you're doing?!
Just earning the housekeeping.
I'll have no part in your ill-gotten gains.
Next round's on Rose.
Your sister has got an amazing gift.
I'm going to go put some more make-up on now,
just in case tonight's the night!
Meddling with things you don't understand. No good is going to come of it, Rose.
-I'm only spreading a little happiness.
-I'll drink to that.
I'll drink to almost anything!
Oh, what is it they say? Be careful what you wish for.
Can I, er... Can I help you?
-You'd better hope so.
-You throw another punch, you WILL regret it.
You want to throw your weight around, mate, start with me.
-Just leave it!
-Hold on. Whoa, whoa, stop! Both of you, can we just stop?
Nice to meet you. I'm Alfie Moon, I run the Queen Vic. We don't want violence.
Let's sort this out like adults. Can we do that? OK, good.
Just give me the girl and the money and we can forget we ever met.
-She doesn't want to be with you any more. Just accept that.
What you talking about?
Mandy. She doesn't want to be your girlfriend.
You mug! She told you she was my bird, and you believed her?
She's a tart from the club - my club -
and the only reason I'm after her is cos she robbed me of five grand of cash.
-You've got a stripper in there? Nice one!
-I don't believe you.
-ANTHONY: You went back to the club? ALFIE:
-She could be anyone, Ian.
-I know her.
So she wasn't lying about that, then?
-I don't think she took your money, OK?
-Why don't you go and ask her?
Come on, Romeo.
She WAS here.
HE SHOUTS: Where's my money?
I don't know, all right, mate?
I have idea where it is, or where she is.
You'd better hope I find her back at the club.
Otherwise, you - YOU - will be hearing from me again.
-You dirty dog, you!
-All right, all right!
-Was it the hot brunette?
Me and her have got previous, if you get my drift.
Lads, lads, time out. Go back to the pub. I'll see you there.
TYLER AND ANTHONY: # Oh, Mandy... #
I've got a surprise for you.
Your dad and I have been talking and, er, he wants to pay for your wedding.
I feel awful about the way we left things, sweetheart.
Let me make it up to you.
Even if you and this Mandy have got history, you don't know nothing about her, mate.
-She could up to all sorts, couldn't she?
-Yeah, she always was.
What was I expecting, trying to help a girl who'd just fallen out of a lap-dancing club?
-What sort of fool am I?
-You're not a fool. You're like the rest of us - red-blooded male.
Why don't you come over the Queen Vic, drown your sorrows? Come on.
Nah, I'm all right - not really in the mood.
Do us a favour though, and, er, keep Bobby overnight?
-Yeah, yeah, course I will.
-Just in case he turns back up.
-No problem. Talk to you later.
-All right, bud.
< DOOR CLOSES
-You two OK?
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Blimey! You're on a right old sugar rush.
Now I'm staying here for good, I'm going to put posters in my room!
Hadn't heard from you, so I thought, "If the mountain won't come to Mohammed..."
Phones out of order, are they?
Never liked phones. Too impersonal.
So, fancy going for a drink?
-Or we could see what's on at the flicks.
-I can't, I've got the kids.
Besides, why are you assuming I want to spend the evening with you?
Well, I really enjoy your company, Pat, and...
well, I had hoped it might...
I come round here with no warning, expecting you to drop everything.
No wonder you're less than enthusiastic.
How're you fixed for Friday? I've got two tickets for a skiffle band in Hackney.
Skiffle? I don't think so.
Norman, you're a lovely man.
It's just that I'm not in the market for a...
You know. Sorry.
I'll see myself out.
-It was a misunderstanding. Once I saw her face, I couldn't put it right.
-You'll have to!
-You know Shenice is better off with us.
-She's Martina's kid. We can't just steal her!
-We know what that feels like, remember?
Do you know how much work it is looking after an eight-year-old full time? How much it'll cost us?
I get it, all right. Just leave it with me, yeah?
What can I get you, darling?
Oh, hello, Jean.
What a lovely surprise.
-I was thinking about you earlier.
Not all day, obviously - just in passing.
-Anyway, how are you?
-Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, yeah.
Good - the reason I was thinking about you was that I took a lot of photos on Fete and Fortune Day,
-and you're in loads of them!
Alfie took some nice ones of us two together, actually.
-I wondered if you'd like to see them some time.
-Yeah, that'd be nice.
-Actually, I'm in a bit of a hurry...
-Later in the week?
Thing is, I've told Kat and Alfie that I'd help out in the pub most evenings. How about Friday?
-Do you like skiffle music?
-Yes! Love it!
-I've got two tickets for Friday night. If you'd like...
Right. I'll bring them along.
-I'll see you then, then!
I'm looking for a girl. Blonde, petite,
little bit grubby. She works this area.
What's it worth?
You're under arrest.
I still can't believe it, mate. Ian Beale pulling a stripper.
Worried he's moving in on your territory?
A stripper. I suppose that's all she is to you, isn't it?
-Does it ever occur to you she might have a name?
-I didn't have you down as a militant feminist.
-She's not. We don't like women being objectified.
'Scuse me, mate, it's 2011, and, actually, women are equal to men these days.
All right, so what exactly can you do better?!
Driving. Why else is Formula One all male?
You know what? He does have a point.
And poker. Don't get me wrong, girls can be good, but they lack the killer instinct that makes a player great.
-That is ridiculous!
Why don't you prove me wrong?
-Let's have a game - boys vs girls.
-Count me in!
Nan, you don't play cards.
-I do a lot of things you don't know about, darlin'.
-THE MEN CHUCKLE
Me too. I'm a real poker fiend.
Well, I ain't partaking, cos gambling is a sin.
I got better things to do with me time.
How about we have 20 quid stakes, then?
A tenner's enough.
All right, fine. Winner takes half the pot, and we split the rest amongst the groups.
But if there's four of you and three of us, we'll need another bloke.
What about you, Mr T? Can you play poker?
-It's like asking Beckham if he can kick a ball.
-Right, I'm going to go get the cards, then.
-I'm going to go toilet.
Listen...are you sure about this?
It's a tenner stake in a pub poker game against girls and grannies.
Hardly the Blackjack scenes from Rain Man!
Relax. I'm different now.
-Lauren, I've never played poker. Have you?
-We'll just wing it.
It's all about bluffing, innit? Besides, my nan and Grandma Dot's sister know what they're doing.
Is poker very much different from bridge, do you think?
Can't remember. Last time I played,
I had a bubble perm and shoulder pads was in.
I can't believe how much you want to pay for.
-Harry, there's really no need to take care of EVERYTHING.
-Least I could do.
I've missed so much already.
Like the engagement party.
-I take it you did have one?
-Aww. That's a shame.
-We didn't want a fuss.
I mean, It's a big deal, getting married.
Just because things didn't work out between me and your mum, it doesn't mean you have to play it down.
He's right, darling. You should have everything you ever dreamed of.
-Surely you agree with that, Darren?
My girl deserves the best, and that's what she's going to get from now on.
I'll open another bottle.
So, come on - tell me what ideas you've got, then.
Well, the colour scheme...
-Why you letting that creep worm his way back in?
-That creep is doing what you couldn't -
-giving my daughter a wedding day she'll actually WANT to remember.
-I'm still working on it.
You're still broke!
I'm sorry if Harry being back on the scene is a dent to your ego,
but the only person who really matters here is Jodie.
-I've only thought as far ahead as a buffet...
-Why're we leaving?
-Too many fish.
-Got a light?
In poker, you're either a fish or a shark.
Fish are novices, and beginner's luck can be very dangerous.
Catch you out every time.
Sleight of hand's more my game.
-Need a hand, Whit, you just let me know, OK, babe?
Oi! It's boys versus girls, you muppet. Whit's doing fine.
All right. But wait.
I am parched. It's my round. Give us a hand, bruv.
-You're in the middle of a game!
-They can sweat it out a bit longer.
Same again, please, Kat.
I'll bring them over, darling.
-What you got?
-Two pair. Why?
I've got nothing, yeah? Whit - she's bluffing it.
You've got this. Go all in, we split the winnings, yeah?
All right, all right, chill out, bruv! Victory is ours!
So, er...feeling pretty confident, are we, Whit?
All right, turn 'em over.
Whitney's got a pair of nines...
-..a pair of fours. Whitney, you win! Pair of nines.
-Do I?! I've won!
-Well done, ladies!
In your faces. She out-bluffed you. You guys are suckers!
Oh, and I'm taking this.
About the, er, strip club? Lying through his teeth.
He was gagging to go in. We got turned away.
Blokes - they just lie and let you down.
Yeah. Well, I'm definitely off them for the foreseeable, anyway.
I've laid the groundwork. Watch and learn, pal.
Watch and learn.
-I'm just going to stick this outside.
-You really surprised me tonight.
Yeah. The way you were with Jodie.
Much as she wants this big, lavish do, it means more to her that her dad'll be there on her big day.
It means a lot to me, too.
Shame you won't be there to see it.
-Oh, didn't I mention?
I'll do all the stuff I've promised on one condition -
that you're not at the wedding.
-Jodie'll never have it.
-You wouldn't have to tell her before. Cry off on the day. Say you've flu.
Thing is, she needs to get used to you letting her down.
Cos by the time I'm finished,
you won't figure much in my girl's life at all.
Why are you doing this?
Cos I can.
No, you can't. I ain't letting you do this again, Harry - to Jodie or Vanessa.
I'm sorry. Your dad ain't here cos he loves you. He wants to show your mum up.
-He just told her she can't come to the wedding.
-Is that true?
I think Darren misheard what I said. Isn't that right, Vanessa?
I know you was trying to help, but Jodie deserves the truth.
You're more important to her than him. You should be at the wedding, Vanessa.
-Darren's right, babe. I'm so sorry.
-Sweetheart, they've got it all wrong.
I've been such an idiot, just like before. How could you do this?
I think it's time for you to leave, Harry.
You won't even make it to the altar.
I don't want you to worry. Jack's raising my commission - I'll have loads more money.
We will get you the wedding you deserve. I promise.
You sure you don't want a solicitor, Mr Beale? You ARE entitled.
I don't need a brief. This is clearly a case of wrongful arrest.
And when you're forced to release me, I'll press charges against both of you!
I'm an upstanding member of this community. I know your bosses.
That's as may be, but you still offered my undercover colleague money for sex.
That's not what happened and she knows it, OK? I was out looking for my friend.
I believe your exact words were,
"I'm looking for a girl. Blonde, petite, a bit grubby."
-You have very specific tastes.
-That's what my friend looks like!
Just before you were picked up, we had a call from a local club-owner, Paul Ward.
-Is this man known to you?
Only, Mr Ward reported a female employee and a man fitting your description
who, coincidentally, lives at your address, for stealing £5,000 of his money.
Do you know anything about this?
I don't have to answer these questions.
That is your vehicle, isn't it?
And this is you outside the club.
-It's not how it looks.
-Want to know how it looks to me?
It looks like you turned up to case the joint,
then you returned, waited for your girlfriend to steal the money,
created a diversion and helped her make a swift getaway.
That's not what happened, all right? I can explain it all.
Really? Because we searched your car after we brought you in,
and this is what we found inside.
-That's not mine. I've never seen it before!
-Mr Beale, if I were you, I would get that solicitor.
Back in a minute, kitten. Be good.
Martina. Hello, darlin'. It's Alfie.
FRONT DOOR CLOSES
-How the hell did you get in?!
-Well, I... I never left.
I, er... I hid upstairs when I heard the farackus. I came back down and you were gone.
Have you any idea how much trouble you've got me in?! I got nicked for handling your stolen goods.
YOUR stolen goods!
No, that money was rightfully mine.
I only left it in your car to keep it safe. I can't believe you let the police take it!
-I didn't. They searched my car cos they nicked me for kerb-crawling!
-You're still kerb-crawling?
I came looking for you!
Yeah, well, I'm a stripper, Ian, not a hooker!
You know what, Mandy? I don't care what you are, all right? Just get out of here.
-Without that money, I have nowhere TO go.
-Well, it's not my problem.
Look...maybe I can talk to Paul,
-do a deal, get him to drop the charges.
He's not actually your boyfriend, is he? He's the club boss. What else have you lied about?
Nothing, I swear!
Know what, Mandy? You haven't changed.
You always were a cheap little slapper,
so just crawl back into the gutter you came from.
What I said earlier, about you being like Mark? I take it back.
Like I care.
He never wasted a day of his life.
But you? You're still in the same place you grew up, in a house full of ghosts,
STILL hanging out in seedy bars cos you can't get a real woman.
-I don't have to listen to this. Go on, out!
-I wish YOU was dead instead of Mark.
You might as well be!
-That one's nice.
Darren, what's the new limit on the dress?
Money's no object. Choose what you like.
-There you go.
Just going to get this.
Darren's right, you know. There's no-one I want at the wedding more than you.
Except the groom, obviously!
This rise in commission. How much more are we talking?
Two per cent?! I thought it was going to be a little bit...
No, no. Jack! Course I'm grateful.
Oh, good, you're still here.
I was thinking about what you said.
And you're right.
What exactly is it you want, Ian?
I've got a spare room, OK? So, if you need somewhere...
..I'd like you to stay.
-Why has she summoned us?
-It's a surprise. Just wait.
Just relax. Nothing your big commission raise can't cover.
Vanessa... KNOCK ON DOOR
Look at you, early birds. I was going to surprise you.
Pops, you are literally going to have a heart attack.
You always give me heart attacks, Jodes.
Right, two each. On my signal.
-Vanessa, I need a word.
Mum, Darren, now!
Hello, my gorgeous bridesmaids!
-My rise in commission - it's only 2%.
Right, lunch break over, boys. Back to work.
I thought this was our belated father and son time? Seeing as you missed my birthday to buy stock.
-Aww, does Ant want Dad to crack open the jelly?
-Have you told Kat?
-Told Kat what?
That Shenice is allowed to stay.
No, no, no. Just keep it schtum, I'm going to surprise her later.
Can you just tell me please?
It's...erm... it's not what it looks...
I've been standing outside the chippy for ages. Don't think cos you ain't opening, I ain't getting paid.
Are you going to let her talk to you like that?
And you are fired.
And who are you? Lord Sugar's minging sister or something?
Well, I'm certainly not going to let you talk to me like that.
I'll show you out.
Turn that down.
# Everybody's starry eyed... #
No, give it, please!
# Woah, oh, oh, uh, uh... #
I can't help it. Come on.
Sssh. come on.
Kat? Kat, are you up here, sweetheart?
What you doing? What is it, annual leave?
Course he's not ill.
Hey, little man. Go to sleep.
-Listen, Kat, Martina called, right?
-Where's the baby VapoRub?
I don't have the baby VapoRub, do I? All right, Buddy?
Must be in here then.
Nan and her gammy nose!
Why hasn't Ian picked Bobby up yet?
Do you want to keep your voice down? I don't know. Ian's probably busy.
-Are you all right?
-I'm fine. I knew Shenice would give him a cold.
Ah, good news about Shenice.
-Martina's going to let her stay with us.
I don't care if you're moving in to Buckingham Palace.
-I want you at the club doing the stock take.
-All right, they're heavy, aren't they?
In a minute. I don't need you standing over me.
-What's the matter?
-Ian, he's just sacked me!
-Come on, grab a box.
Let's crank the combined strength up to, erm...feeble.
Is she actually paying you for this?
-I want paying.
-All right, move me in and we'll talk.
While you're at, Billy, dump any of Ryan's old rubbish outside
whatever cardboard box he calls home these days.
He's gone. Didn't you know?
Where'd you think you're going, eh?
Jean, I'm going to pop up to the council,
There might be a place for Shenice next term at Walford Primary.
I'll have a little word, give them a little nudge. You OK for your job?
-Yes. Plan logged. Ready for action.
-Good girl. See you later.
-Are you sure this is what Kat wants?
Yeah, course I'm sure. She said so. See you later. Be good, Bobby.
Jack? Tyler's opponent, yeah, he can do the 13th.
Um, well we can't do 13th. Private booking.
No, no, no, that's the only date he can do. Who's booked it?
Don't matter, does it? It's booked.
I know there's been some trouble but it's not your fault your mum had an affair with your dad.
I'll always think of you as a sister, Abi Branning.
Are you sure you don't mind?
No, of course not.
When Jodie asked I said I wouldn't have it any other way.
KNOCK ON DOOR I'll get that.
Oh, Jodie, you haven't got a third?
No, don't be silly. Two plus George as a pageboy.
I know there's limits.
Sorry. Mum said Abi was here. Oi, I ain't your personal servant.
You fell in at two, passed out with the grill on
and set the fire alarm off. Pardon me if I'm not with it today.
Oh, we can't afford three, can we?
I'll go without a car? I'll walk to the church?
-Go on then, I won't have you going without.
-Yeah, are you sure?
-I could hardly say no, could I?
-Whatever you can raise, I'll match.
-No offence, but you're as skint as me.
-Just let me worry about that.
Lauren, you've been like a sister to me.
Not a sister I'd borrow clothes off, or copy, or talk to.
But a sister nevertheless.
My gorgeous bridesmaid number three.
Oh, very pretty!
One, two, three, four, five...
-Here you are.
What? No, you're not supposed to put sugar on yet.
-No, I do.
KNOCK ON DOOR Just have some sugar.
-Ian, you've got a bit of something...
-I'm the nanny.
Ian, you appear to have forgotten to pick up your son.
Ooh, Ian you've got a little mini-me!
-Yes, that's Bobby!
-Oh, hun, your dad's really sorry.
I mean, look at his face.
-Well, just call him back.
Call him back and see how much he wants.
Oh, hang on a minute, Ty. Just a sec.
You know you said you wouldn't turn away a damsel in distress?
Well, I've lost an earring down Jodie's sink.
How could I sleep?
Ty, drop what you're doing for five minutes.
There's a damsel in distress needs you.
Just get round to Jodie's.
You've got your wish, Phil.
The only business partner that can actually count is here.
Why aren't you moving me into my house?
-They're working for me now.
-Phil's paying us. Properly.
-Yeah. Sorry Janine.
Why you saying sorry? We ain't her slaves.
Geez, you try and do the poverty stricken a favour.
Fine, Billy, forty quid.
Not a chance.
And I will make you Executive Director of Operations.
I'm going to need somebody to manage my property portfolio.
Package includes petrol allowance.
You better get a car for that petrol allowance.
Yeah. I'm sorry about this Phil.
There's something I've got to do first.
I'll be five minutes. Come on Lo, go. Go.
-You're such a mug. Give us that.
I'm just going to go and check the petty cash.
You can stay in there until every bottle is counted.
Oi! Phil, you can't...!
Kat and Alfie would like Shenice to get into Walford Primary.
Dig in, Jean. Munchkin.
Cos you know the Head, we thought that maybe you could have a word with him?
-Did I tell you I trained at the same place as super-nanny?
-The council could stick her anywhere.
She could be miles away with gangs and knives.
We ran up and down them mountains like the nuns out of the Sound of Music.
And Shenice has got friends at Walford Primary, Bobby and Tiffany Butcher.
-And you'd like Shenice to go to your school wouldn't you, Bobby?
I used to be a nun.
You see, the thing is, we just want her settled
in a nice school with some nice friends.
Jean, it's fine, OK. Just tell Alfie that I will see what strings I can pull.
Thank you, Ian. Thank you very much.
You haven't touched your pancakes.
No, I'm quite full with your porky pies, thank you.
You know, that sounds really important.
You should go round there and see that Head right now,
you know, talk to him, face to face.
There was this very strange girl there,
but anyway, Ian's agreed to talk to the Head. Kat?
-Everything is all right, isn't it?
Your booking. The 13th.
Yeah, Jay and his mates. What about it?
-It's double booked. There's your deposit.
-Cancel the other thing.
Well, then I'll be there on the 13th.
-£100, by way of an apology?
No. That better not be what it sounds like.
I will smash every one if I have to.
-Phil? Come on, take the money, will you?
Say "pretty please", Mickey, yeah?
And it's Michael.
You're paying for that.
Well, it's a good job I'm rich. What do I care?
Have you seen my phone?
-I bet that Jean nicked it.
-It's got all my business numbers on it.
Oh, no(!) What are you going to do without the frozen chips hotline?
I've got to phone the Head for Alfie, haven't I?
Bobby, you seen my phone?
Here, has your daughter still got any bits upstairs?
Bridesmaids for life!
Maybe I should learn some skiffle moves for the concert.
-Cos I told Norman I knew what skiffle was.
-Jean, it's a date. Just go out and enjoy yourself.
If Billy's account's anything to go by, it's not your dance moves that I would be working on.
Cheers, darling. What did you say to her?
Nothing the voices in her head won't drown out.
You've got nothing better to do than to drink in the afternoon, all alone?
Well, I don't know, I've got a new house to move into, a club to run,
three other properties on my books.
Jean, what have I told you about listening to that girl? She's poison.
Kat, I know it's none of my business and we both don't like sticky beaking
but who was on the phone earlier?
You would tell me if it was Stacey or Sean, wouldn't you?
Course I would.
So it was bad news?
What was it? Shenice's mum?
D'you know what, Jean?
Now isn't the time for a girlie chat, all right?
Mum. Come and join us.
Had a bit of a result on the jobs front. So, this is from Lola.
That's very good of you. Kids, eh?
Yeah. I know it's not much, but I'll get the rest to you as soon as I can.
-For the kids.
How is little Janet by the way?
She's beautiful, just beautiful. I'll see you later.
Mum, help me budget. Kill one or keep one - Madrigals or donation for the choir?
Uh, kill the donation, keep the madrigals.
That's what I thought but is it evil?
I've got to kiss goodbye to the madrigals, haven't I?
You'll get your madrigals.
-Ta-da! Look at that.
-That's lovely, sweetheart.
That is well good. Look, you've got Jean, there's me, you, Shenice.
Look at Mo! Like someone's thrown custard on her head,
like a bowl haircut, she's got.
Anyway, I've filled in all the forms for the council.
Ian's had a word with the head of the school, apparently he knows him,
might pull a few strings, so it's all good and it's all happening.
Why don't you go downstairs to Auntie Jean and give her a hand with her skiffle dancing?
-Good girl. Be good down there, all right?
Kat, sweetheart. There's nothing to be scared of.
Martina wants us to have her, all right?
I got a call today.
-Martina, I knew it.
-No, listen to me.
-I knew it.
-It wasn't her, listen...
Why do I listen to that woman, she's so flaky. That woman would change her mind on a sixpence...
No, you got to listen. It wasn't Martina.
What are you trying to do to me? I was going to have a heart attack then.
Thought I was going to have to send her in the post.
I've got to show you this bag I've bought her.
Cos once she starts school,
she's going to have loads of friends so I bought her something.
You've got the Walford Primary School, but you kind of get that with the school, but this one,
it's none of your old tat. I didn't get this in the market.
This is proper, cos all her mates have probably got the same thing. Kat?
Cheers, mate! Wooh!
-Made a sale!
-It's going to take more than a 2% commission on that.
Look, I'm going above and beyond here. You need to do the same.
I've had enough of this. Do you know how hard I'm working?
-I don't need you to question how much I'm grafting for Jodie.
-You've been a liability since day one.
-Max always said you were useless.
-Nah, me and Max, we were partners, we bounced off each other.
Oh, wise up, Darren. The only reason he kept you on
is because you were marrying my daughter.
You'd still be working down that curry house if I hadn't made him feel sorry for you. Up your game!
The 13th? Michael, that's not even two weeks away!
Ah, you'll be all right. Start training now and you'll be fine.
I mean, I don't think I'm ready to give up curries.
That famous Ali quote.
Seriously, mate. I'm not ready for a proper fight.
Big Andy says different. You wiped the floor with him.
Yeah, I mean, that was just sparring.
Listen to yourself, Tyler, you sound like an old woman.
No, worse, you sound like a no mark.
Come on, you've got to seize the chance, make something of yourself.
-Otherwise, you're going to be lugging tat around for the rest of your life.
-OK, 13th it is.
-Good man. That's what I like. Well done.
And I tell you what. Tonight, I'll take you out, my treat.
-We'll get bang on it, before the health kick.
-I'm on it. Quality.
-See you later, Michael.
So, everything you ever dreamed of?
Yeah. And more.
Must have been a shock, yeah?
Don't beat yourself up though. He probably got spooked cos of that drugs raid in the Vic.
Look, I don't know who do you think you're talking to,
-but I am your boss and I'm not your friend.
OK, well I'll see you tomorrow then.
-So, you managed to shift the P Reg!
-You legend. How much?
-Well, yeah, 18 would have been good.
But anyways, better than a kick in the teeth, ain't it. Go on, get yourself off.
-You enjoy it.
-Enjoy indeed. Here you go, Trace, I'll get that. Keep the change.
That is your last pint till we're celebrating on the 13th, yeah?
-What's happening on the 13th then?
-All right, how's it going?
-Didn't know you were coming.
-Course he's coming.
-He's Fun Time Ant, ain't he?
-So? What's happening 13th, then? Unlucky day for some day, eh?
Anthony, Tyler, come and give your dad a hand.
I'm starving. Let's all go out for a curry.
No, let's stay in.
-Look, we're having fun.
-Well, just give me some money and I'll go and get us one.
That better not be ruined.
Oh, come on, you were going to pay me for a lap dance last night.
I'm sure you can afford another phone from 1997.
Why is she wearing Lucy's clothes?
And what's a lap dance?
Um...It's where old men pay girls to dance
to the national anthem of Lapland.
-I'm trying to help you out, here.
It's not my fault you went to a strip club.
It's not funny, all right. That is my son.
No! It's your face. I can't believe you haven't noticed yet?
Take a joke. Ian! I've nowhere to go.
-I'm staying! I'm staying!
-Yes. Ian Beale. Total legend.
-I hate school.
-That's my girl.
Don't go talking like that at the interview. You're not in yet.
-Shenice! Get off that bed, yeah?
I'll leave you to it.
Shenice sweetheart, just keep an eye on Tommy for me, will you?
Oi, oi, what's all that about? Shouting at Shenice like that?
Hold on, is this about the phone call earlier.
This is moving too fast for me, all right.
I did not agree to her staying here.
Why do you put up with Janine?
Her ex has just left town.
So just be nice to her, all right?
-Is this yours?
-Oh, Michael, thank you.
Oi, give me my old job back and I won't tell anyone about your little sleepover.
-I said it's not what it looked like.
-Looked like you'd had a hooker over.
No-one's going to want to buy fish and chips off a bloke like that.
-Fine. Keep your job.
-Good. I'll see you tomorrow then.
-Ty? R&R, let's go.
-Woah, woah, hang on, they're just having a drink with their old dad.
Why? Do you want to go celebrate something?
-Just drop it, Ant.
Tyler, Anthony. Come on, let's go!
Dad spent his entire weekend working.
I'm sure he wants peace and quiet. Where were you again?
Antiques fair. Same as every year. Go on, off you go.
I'm not staying anyway.
I'm going back to the Emporium. You have a good time.
-Catch you in a bit. Call you later, yeah?
Yes, darling, what can I get you?
Excuse me sweetheart. Listen Kat, that girl doesn't have a place to call home.
Look at me when I'm talking. She's staying, so you might want to get used to the idea.
Yeah, do what you want. G&T, yeah?
Bridesmaids for life!
I know you're keeping something from Dad. So tell me now or I'll tell Dad you're up to something,
then he'll get it out of you.
-I've got a fight!
All right, OK, OK!
-Darren! Where'd you get it?
-It's my commission, ain't it? You know, I'm the exec salesman.
Just don't want you to worry about the budget, Jode.
Ooh, 1978 Bally game.
Looks like a factory original.
-Ah, you found the missing one then?
-Oh, yeah. Thank you.
Big Andy was different. That was a licensed amateur fight.
I mean, head gear. Gloves. The lot.
Unlicensed doesn't mean the rules go out the window.
I mean, they're not illegal. They've got doctors there, boxing gloves.
Then why the secrecy?
If Dad had his way,
Tyler would be wrapped in cotton wool till he was 50.
-Listen to me. He's not to know.
-Please, Ty, stop deluding yourself.
It's like being out with someone's granny.
Hold on, don't talk to him like that!
Less than two weeks away from the fight. You haven't got a prayer.
-Go home. I've had enough of you for one day.
-You ain't wanted!
FIRE ALARM RINGS
It's a false alarm, everyone, false alarm!
It's a false alarm!
-I knew I could smell smoke, Jodie.
-I knew I could smell smoke, Poppy.
-Whoops! Are you just going to take it?
-You think I'd let you raise my blood pressure, eh?
Call yourself a business women? You're a joke.
-Can't do the fight, mate. Too much hassle.
-Are you skiving tomorrow too?
Is Mandy coming back? She's funny.
Please don't burn alive. You're going to be so missed.
-Poor Janine has had a bad day.
-According to who?
All of your mates?
I know, shall we ask Michael's imaginary friends what they think?
Oh, no, they can't speak.
That's because they only exist in your twisted mind.
Chuck me out then. I don't care.
Hello, Doctor Khan? It's Kat Moon.
Listen, I'm sorry for hanging up on you.
I just don't understand how the blood test can be positive.
How can I be pregnant?
-Hurry up, Jean! I'm bursting.
Sorry. Last-minute practice.
-Two left feet, me.
-It's a date, Jean,
not Strictly Come Dancing.
No, Poppy, you can't. Cos Gaynor's away and... I've got to be somewhere.
Right, well - I'm sorry about your headache, but sometimes you've just got to soldier on.
Keep the noise down... Some of us were handing out food parcels till half two.
Mum been snoring again, has she?
-Mmm, some lunch box.
I'm your Executive Director of Operations. I've got to look the part.
Since when could you afford a briefcase?
-Bought it off Beale.
-Oh, well, I hope you've had that disinfected. Slimy toad.
That reminds me. Can you ring the estate agent and tell him I won't make the ten o'clock?
All play and no work makes Janine a very naughty girl.
-All right, Bill?
Ah, there we go.
-I'd best be off.
Last night's a bit of a blur, to be fair.
Oh, yeah? Expecting an encore, were we?
Erm, a refund, more like.
Now, if you don't mind, I've got an empire to run.
If you're as much of a pushover in business as you were last night, you'll be broke in no time.
-It's only for one night.
-My bed's next to yours. I could've been violated.
He's homeless, not desperate.
You don't know him from Adam! I mean, I've got my kids in this house...
-Oh, you care about us now(!)
-Give him a break, OK?
Geoff lost his wife, his business is down the pan. There but for the grace of God...
I knew HE'D get a mention. It's been all of five minutes.
I don't suppose there's a chance of a brew?
Got it in one, sunshine.
-Hope you're proud of yourself.
-Park your horse, Rainie.
This born-again nonsense is getting right up my nostril.
-I'm doing something worthwhile with my life!
-Makes a change from getting off your face.
I told you. That was just a blip!
-Till the next time.
-Will you just give it a rest?
There won't be a next time. I've seen where I've been going wrong all these years -
-happiness is about helping other people.
Well, perhaps you'd like to help us, and pay your way?
Only, the Lord's a bit tight when it comes to the gas bill.
-Right, I'll get a job then.
-That's a miracle we'd ALL like to see.
-Kat, how do you want your eggs?
-I'm not hungry.
Look...let's not fight today.
-I'm not fighting.
-All Shenice wants is a bit of stability.
There's more than enough love to go round.
-Yes. Kat, you've got the biggest heart in Walford.
Listen, why don't we ask Tracey to do the double?
-So we can go with Shenice down to Walford Primary, meet the headmaster,
-and after that we'll all go out, like the Moons on tour.
-No, I can't. I, erm...
I promised Jean I would help her choose an outfit.
So, Jean, eh? Tonight's the big night, is it?
It's just a night out to see a skiffle band.
I tell you what I'll do, right. If you want, I'll sit down with Norman, man to man.
I'll have the talk with him - so he doesn't take advantage, eh?
Erm...would you get those photos printed? Cos I promised Norman I'd show them to him.
Yeah, course. And I'll get one printed for his wallet.
Oh... What are you like?!
At least we've got ONE happy face.
-How long's it been on the market...?
Beer lines need changing.
I'm your business partner, Phil, not your lackey.
You're a liability. Sooner you sell out to me, the better.
-Is Kat coming out with us?
No, Shenice, she's not coming out, she's really busy, all right?
Shenice... Listen, I'll tell you what, me and you later, we'll go to the West End, we'll have a laugh.
-Will you just pop into my bedroom, see if Tommy's dummy's in there somewhere, darling?
-Shenice, you found it yet?
-No. Still looking.
Pinball machine? OK, that's quite good. Well done. Did he fall for it?
Yeah... That's nice work, Vanessa, well done.
-(Aren't you a clever girl?)
-See you later, all right...?
-So...where's this gym of yours then?
-Yeah - sorry, miles away, Duncan.
It's just down here. I'll show you.
It's just been a long while since I've had a date. The last one would have been Ted.
-Yeah. Ages ago.
I scared him off.
People are funny about that sort of thing. My...problems.
-You're all right now, ain't ya?
I think I ought to tell Norman up front. You know - save any misunderstanding.
Jean, what the eye don't see...
Honesty is the best policy.
Yeah, I'll take your word for that.
This it? The back room in some flea market?
-It's an antiques emporium.
-No, gym's round the corner.
-My brothers didn't fancy the fight game.
-Don't wind him up!
He'll be all right. Didn't fancy peeling him off the canvas anyway.
-I'll er...go tape up.
-See you later.
Do a left, you can't miss it.
That...is my ticket to the big time.
Duncan Wilkins. 16. Junior ABA champion.
Sharp as a tack.
What sort of name's Duncan for a boxer?
Yeah. And in the blue corner - Duncan "The Accountant" Wilkins!
Few more of them, we'll be nudging the big time.
-Next stop, Las Vegas, eh?
-Anyway, what you doing tonight? Fancy a few pints?
Me and Carol have got plans.
-Come on, when was the last time we had a drink as a family?
-I think our old man's a bit worried we're going to show him up.
-We're all house trained.
Well, two out of three ain't bad.
All right, all right. Anything to shut you up.
Good man, good man.
Here you are, skiver. I just dropped by the salon, Poppy's doing her nut.
-Well, she'll have to learn to cope without me.
-You know what you need? A manager.
What, after the last time? Computer says no, Rai.
Thanks for your support(!)
What is that smell?
Vinegar. Want one?
-You're going to make me hurl.
Yeah, I'm all right, yeah. Listen, I've got a funny one for you.
How quickly can you do me a personalised boxing robe?
What's with the vinegar?
I may be speaking out of turn here.
I'm just going to say it.
Are you pregnant?
Do me a favour!
I had to get blood tests done just to make sure.
Oh, Kat! That is so exciting!
Alfie must be thrilled.
You haven't told him?
No. And neither should you.
-Oh, going for the glam rock look?
Always a winner.
Kitchen's covered in it, thanks to Tiff. Roll on the start of term.
-You might have a budding Picasso on your hands.
-Can I get you a drink?
No. No. It's about tonight. Change of plan.
Oh, better offer?
My boys have asked us out for a drink.
I mean, I'll understand if it's not your idea of a fun night out.
No... Why not? More the merrier.
-I'll see you later.
-Yeah. See you.
Alfie was supposed to be firing blanks!
It only takes one, Kat.
One little swimmer.
You hear about it all the time.
IVF couples who've stopped trying, suddenly, hey, presto!
Why us, eh? Every time we get ourselves back on track.
What is the problem?
Alfie is born to be a father.
Tommy will have a little playmate.
Honestly, you couldn't prise Stacey and Sean apart with a crow bar.
I already had a baby.
James wasn't yours though...
Yeah, but in my head, he was.
In my heart.
I can't change how I feel...
I don't think I can go through it again.
Well, I think you can.
I KNOW you can.
Well, you love Alfie.
Alfie loves you.
-Is that it?
-What more do you need?
-That was good timing.
-Do come through.
Ah, Michael. Was, er...was this you?
Sorry, mate. Forgot to cancel the order. Was meant to be a surprise.
Titan. Nice touch.
Yeah. Did have a nice ring to it, I must admit.
Better than Duncan "The Accountant" Wilkins, eh?
Keep it. Memento.
These two yours? Of course they are. Why would you have a picture of someone else's kids on your desk?!
Mind you, it could be your niece or nephew, couldn't it, actually? Cute.
Perhaps we should discuss the extent of your cancer.
-Is it serious?
-I'm afraid it is.
But with the right treatment, I think we can be optimistic.
This small patch of light? That's the cancer.
It's actually less than two-and-a-half centimetres.
-I appreciate there's a lot to take in.
I'm fine. It's fine.
The good news is, it's early.
A stage 1B1 tumour. Like I said, it's small.
Ideal for surgery.
Right, and that's...good news?
Yes. As far as cervical cancer is concerned.
The majority are cured with treatment.
But there's a small chance the disease may have spread to the lymph nodes in the pelvis.
-About one in seven.
I recommend we perform a keyhole procedure,
assess the lymph nodes.
If they're negative, we'd want to proceed to a hysterectomy.
That was an "if", that's not a done deal, is it?
If there's any evidence of spread to the lymph nodes
we would advise not having the procedure, but going straight to radiotherapy with chemotherapy.
Am I going to be OK?
The majority of women do survive cervical cancer
and we are going to give you the best possible care.
I'd like to book you in for the laparoscopy for two weeks' time,
with a view to performing the hysterectomy the following week.
Your husband... He couldn't make it today?
-Well, then, your family? Do they know?
I don't know...
"Have you tidied your room yet? And by the way, I've got cancer"...
I'm sure they'll do everything in their power to support you.
-You'll love this one...
An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Italian
-are off to a fancy dress party...
CORA SCREECHES WITH LAUGHTER
Oh, do you mind if we use the telly?
I'm entertaining my friend.
Yeah, well, you guys can drink in the kitchen. It's my house too.
On THOSE chairs?
With MY back?
Right. If that's the way you want it.
What, woman, are you trying to get me drunk?
Whatever gave you that idea(?)
MUSIC BLARES FROM UPSTAIRS
She's a Cross, all right.
-Kids, tea's ready!
-Go upstairs and wash your hands.
-Bit dressy for the Vic, innit?
-I don't need YOU judging me as well.
-I'm not judging you.
-Eddie's boys are going to be there.
-Ooh, a family night out, eh?
No, it's not like you have to rush out and buy a new hat.
Seriously. Do you think he might be "the one"?
-Is anyone "the one"?
-You said David was, once.
-Yeah, and where's your son now? Halfway round the world.
-Don't dodge the question.
Yes, he was.
Didn't do much good though. Not that YOU approved. I've still got the bruises to prove it.
You gave back as good as you got!
Water under the bridge, eh?
Exactly. You can't live in the past.
It doesn't do anybody any good.
Norman is a nice bloke. I mean, what have you got to lose?
You don't "fall" for nice. You "settle" for nice.
Well, is that such a bad thing?
You can't beat perfection.
Frank had style, charisma...
Nobody could carry off a bow tie quite like him.
That man stole my heart and never gave it back.
Ugh... I'm done with all that.
If you ask me... that's the fear talking.
Come on, kids, it's cold!
This...is a matter of life and death...
Shhh! SHE GIGGLES
BEEP Oooh no!
Oh no...oh! I've done it again, you're too good for me.
I went to see the doctor last week, I said,
"Doctor, I feel like a pony".
He said, "No, Alfie, you're just a little HOARSE." HE CHUCKLES
-It wasn't THAT bad.
-I don't want to play any more.
Shenice, sweetheart, listen,
I know Kat can be a bit cranky, but I promise she'll come round.
No, she won't. She doesn't want me here.
What are you talking about? Of course she does.
Oi... Has she said something?
-Oi, oi, oi, look at me.
Has she said something?
So what is it, then?
-You look fantastic.
-I taught the old man everything he knows.
-Quick lesson, then!
Right, what can I get you?
-I'll have a gin and tonic, please.
-Who's in charge of the whip?
-I am. Tenners in.
-Oh, right. Here you are, tenner.
-No, no, put that away.
-I'll drink you under the table.
-That's fighting talk, that is.
-Talking of which...
-Where on earth did you get that?
-Archive for East London.
I ordered you a print.
You did that for me?
Memento. It's all too easy how things get forgotten otherwise.
You always remember the glory days.
Everyone round our way knew my name.
Thank you, son.
Ooh... You were a looker once.
I'll get these.
I tried everywhere.
No-one'll give me the time of day. Not one.
I'm sure you'll get a job soon.
I asked myself,
-"What would Jesus do?"
"Seek and ye shall find."
You look nice, Kat.
How's Duncan the donkey shaping up then?
Duncan the donkey's got one thing you can't teach. Hunger.
-Well, I only backed out to get Ant off my back, didn't I?
-So what you saying?
I want in. On the fight.
Tyler. The punters that come to unlicensed fights. They bet big.
-So, they don't want to see some 12-round knockabout.
One of you ain't getting up.
-Listen, I know who the smart money's on.
Michael, please, mate. I'm your brother.
You've seen what I can do.
Tyler, don't do this to me.
Not a word to anyone.
-You say a word to anyone...
-make one of them an orange juice. Titan's in training.
Is this what passes for recreation these days?
Shouldn't you two be at the bingo?
You lot think you invented a good time, don't you?
So what do you suggest?
NOW you're talking!
Like mother always said.
"Never go calling empty-handed".
The last way I'd have described Lydia was "ladylike".
Thanks for your message.
-I didn't think you'd want to see me again.
I owe you an apology.
No, no, no. My fault.
I got carried away.
I know how this tune goes.
It's not YOU. Really, it's not.
Listen, I would go down on bended knee right now if I thought you'd say yes...
I've been down the aisle four times. Doesn't that tell you something?
I'm hardly a novice.
You just haven't met the right man yet.
But I did, didn't I?
I never could quite measure up to the old smiler.
Frank always considered you a good friend.
Makes two of us.
CORA AND JAY: Three, two, one, go!
Come on, Abi!
Aye, aye, aye...
Looks like I'll be doing a few hours' overtime.
Never liked it anyway!
Sounds like World War III in here. You'll wake up Oscar!
-About time we saw your face. Come on. You and me next.
-You mind your back, won't you?
-I think I like you.
-Great to see you crack a smile.
But first... To the winner!
No, please. I don't feel too good.
-FRONT DOOR SLAMS
-What is going on in here?
I think I'm going to be...
-What time's he here, Jean?
it's so stuffy in here. I'll pop out for some fresh air.
-Sorry I'm late.
Are you? I didn't even notice.
You look very smart.
Oh, thanks! Not that it makes any difference.
-Would you like a drink?
-No. I don't want any sort of payment...
-I'm just glad the tickets are going to a good home.
You two enjoy yourselves.
is this your idea of a joke?
Either we work together or we don't. It's your call.
Well, good luck. Shirley'll go ballistic when she finds out.
Well, I don't have to live with her.
-Is this all your tiny brain could come up to wind me up, eh?
-Oh, I'm just warming up.
I'm really sorry.
Just get out. Get out, the pair of you.
See you later, Abs.
What? We were just having a bit of fun, that's all.
You call plying kids with alcohol "having fun"?
It was only a couple of shots. What's the big deal?
What's the big deal? Go and ask Carol Jackson.
You got up to a lot worse at Abi's age.
And you wonder why Rainie can't take responsibility for her life.
Oh, here we go.
Tanya, the patron saint of martyrs.
-We let our hair down.
We needed to, thanks to you
hanging over the rest of us like a black cloud.
-I don't have to listen to this...
-Perhaps you should.
Losing Greg was your fault. No-one else's.
Take it on the chin and move on. Give us all a break.
You've got no idea, whatsoever.
I know we get what we deserve in life.
Right, that is it.
Pack your bags, Mum, and get out.
-I mean it. Just go!
Why do you have to make everybody's life such a misery?
Yeah, yeah, early night. Lot to take in today.
-I've got something to tell you.
-Kat, we can't leave Tracey on her own, it's busy.
-Close your eyes.
-We ain't got time for this, darlin'...
Tommy's going to be a big brother.
I know, I know!
My head is mush,
but I went to Dr Kahn for a blood test to be sure.
We're going to have a baby!
D'you hear what I just said?
Well, say something.
Who's the father, Kat?
Or don't you know?
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
E-mail [email protected]
Ian finds himself in a dangerous dilemma when he bumps into a face from his past. Dot is aghast when Rose takes the opportunity to meet the locals of Walford in her own unique style while Whitney struggles to adjust to life without Ryan. Darren is forced to take a stand when Harry returns to Jodie's life wanting to pay for their wedding while Vanessa continues to circle Eddie at Michael's behest. Kat keeps a secret from Alfie little knowing that Shenice has stumbled on the truth. While Tanya heads to the hospital alone, Cora has a night in with Patrick, Jay and Abi with unfortunate consequences.
If you are affected by any of the issues in this episode of EastEnders, please click on the link below for information regarding sources of help, support, and advice: http://www.bbc.co.uk/eastenders/news/news_20081104.shtml.