04/12/2011 EastEnders Omnibus

Tan... Tan, you there?

Tan?

-Rainie, what are you doing?

-He was my dad too!

And you had no right...

..no right to take him away from me.

Rainie... Listen, I've told Mum... I told Mum how it was.

You didn't even let me say goodbye to him.

This is not the time. We can talk...

I'm sorry, all right. I am sorry.

You know... You know what I hope?

I hope that you're too late.

That you get to the hospital,

and when you get there they say that it's spread everywhere...

-Rai, you don't mean that. Rai, you don't...

-That they can't help you.

-What you doing?!

-Oi! Get off!

What was all that about?

Here we go. One, two...

What you doing here?

Is Tanya all right? Has something happened?

-Well? Come on!

-It's all right, Jack, it's all right, I've got it.

Come on.

Ah...you're as cold as a snowman.

-Any news from Tanya?

-No, I'm going to give Max a call in a minute.

I left a message saying they know where I am if they need me.

-You sure you're all right taking care of her?

-Yeah, course I am.

I just promised Derek a guided tour.

-PHONE RINGS

-See you later.

-I'll see you later, yeah?

-See you later. Come on then.

-Michael?

Hello. Hello, baby.

-Hello.

-You know the rules.

-I'm just... I'm saying hello.

-And you know there's an exclusion zone.

-I'm passing.

Right, so pass.

Yeah?

ALARM BEEPS You try and do the healthy option

and use the grill... End up burning the house down.

Well, don't just sit there!

-Nice one, Cora, been up half the night as it is!

-Excuse me for making breakfast.

-Nan!

-Don't you start!

-Shut up!

Take the battery out!

Why you cooking anyway, Nan? You don't cook!

It's called I'm trying to do my bit, stepping up!

That's what we all got to do, ain't it?

Right?

Cos...

Well...

You know why.

No, you're right, Cora. It was a nice idea.

I'm good with eggs. Any takers?

Anyone want an egg?

Ian, has Rose turned up today?

Well, if she ain't there in the next ten minutes,

you call me straight back, all right?

-Lola, what are you doing here?

-Social services just called. They want to come round.

-What?

-I don't know, it's some new guy.

-You ain't due a visit.

-Yeah, I know, it's weird, innit?

-Not unless...

-What?

-Not unless they've found out that you're pregnant?

-As if.

-Well, why would they turn up out of the blue?

-It ain't none of their business.

-Lola,

I'm meant to be super-granddad and there you go and getting yourself knocked up.

Who knows what they're going to say?

First one of the day. Roxy!

Yeah, all right, thank you. Thank you for coming to meet me.

-So, war's on.

-Yes, the war is on. You up for it?

I am always up for it. You want me to recustodise your kid for you, then that is what I will do.

Recustodise... that's not a word, is it?

I need ammo.

I need something that says,

"Jimmie, this here, this is your greatest weapon.

"You will slay that dragon."

-So what have you got?

-You're the solicitor.

Yeah, and I've had a look through your case notes, and you've got nada.

Zero. Zip.

Zilch.

-Don't, Mum.

-Don't what?

-Look at me like that.

It's how I always look at you.

I know what you're doing.

You're taking mental pictures and storing them away.

I used to do it with dad.

You've smudged your mascara.

Us Cross girls don't go anywhere without looking our best.

Abi, darling...

Is it because you think I'm still a baby? Is that why you just didn't bother telling me?

No, love, no. It's more that we didn't want to upset you.

Only we're going to need someone to lighten the mood now and then.

That was going to be you.

-What, like a clown or something?

-Let it go, girl.

Last thing your mum needs is you getting on her goat.

She's got enough on her plate.

-Steady on, Mum.

-Girl needs telling.

Girl's been told.

Better get myself ready.

What time's your appointment?

-You're coming to the hospital?

-Course I am.

I might've gone AWOL in the past, but that don't make me a deserter.

It's just Max was going to take me.

Oh...

Sorry, Mum, I need him, I do.

-What time's mum's appointment?

-12.

-All right, I'll get some petrol, then.

No need, Lauren. I'm taking her.

-No, I want to.

-I know you do, but your mum wants me there with her.

-What about me? I've been right there for her.

-I'm back now, ain't I? You've done your bit.

Why don't you come food shopping with me? Pick whatever you want.

Mind you, it'll all taste the same once I've nuked it.

Food shopping? Do me a favour.

Going to be a lot of that.

Everyone's emotions running away with them. You ready for that?

Yeah. Par for the course, Cora, in this house.

Tanya's counting on you, Max.

You're going to have to be there for her every day, every second.

D'you hear me?

So. The Big C, eh?

Yeah. Been the highlight of my year.

Well, that's not very Florence Nightingale of you.

Well, I'm hoping she's going to die, ain't I?

And before she does, I'm going to go see her

and I'm going to get a whole load of stuff off my chest.

Well...there must be a lot sitting on your chest.

OK. All right, look, Jack put his daughter in a wheelchair.

Sort of... I mean, ultimately, he was responsible.

-Like through a chain of events?

-Yes. Yes, exactly.

-No good.

-Why?

-Can't play Chinese whispers. We need concrete. Something solid.

-That's the best I can think of.

-What's the point turning up to the hearing?

-Most people would say that.

But then they ain't had to work for Phil Mitchell.

They haven't had their brains altered by his unusual take on how things work.

-I really hope I'm not paying you by the word.

-You are very attractive.

-Seriously, you push a lot of buttons.

-Keep your mind on the job, yeah?

OK, here's what I'm going to do.

Jack presents as an excellent father.

Butter wouldn't melt. But we all know no-one is that holy.

Not even me. So here's the deal. He's got real dirt somewhere.

You find some of that and you bring it to me.

OK, all right.

And if I do, there's a chance I could get Amy back?

Have a good root round. He ain't Jesus, is he?

What if they don't like me? Considering how horrible I was to them.

Do you think that'll count against me?

Oh, probably, yeah. They'll keep you waiting hours, days.

-Just to get back at you.

-Not funny, Max.

What if they think, "Here's that rude cow coming, we won't try so hard with her"?

Then they'll have me to answer to.

-What are you doing?

-I'm just opening the door for you.

I ain't got it in my arms.

Tanya!

I'm glad I caught you.

I know you don't want me going on, but I know how you're feeling.

Cos I had cancer. Different from yours.

And I felt scared and I kept it to meself,

wondering if me course was run.

But then, you see, I had young Dennis with me.

And he made me realise how selfish I was being.

I wasn't thinking of Jim and my friends.

And so I decided to deal with it. Face up to it.

And I had my operation and here I am. I'm still here.

So, if I can do it, so can you. D'you hear me?

Thanks, yeah, er...

Yeah, that's the plan, Dot.

That's exactly what she's going to do.

-Pat.

-Yeah?

-You ain't seen Lola, have you?

-No. Sorry.

-We've got a meeting with the social, and she ain't answering her phone.

-What do they want?

Don't ask. Rox, you seen Lola?

No, not seen her.

Going to sit on top of it, are you?

I thought you'd be long gone.

Maybe I'm your Christmas present come early, Pat.

-Rather have a puppy.

-Rather have a puppy. Very droll.

Derek. Come on, guided tour.

All right, Pat?

Excuse me a minute. Two coffees please, love.

And throw in a couple of them sticky buns.

I've got a terrible sweet tooth.

-I'd have thought they'd have put Pat out to pasture by now.

-All right, Jack?

Saw you earlier, palming Amy off. That's going to look really good. You not being there for her.

-No big deal. Carol's her aunt.

-You're never there for her.

Not really. What about the other kids? Richard? Sam says you never call.

-Well, maybe it's her not picking up the phone.

-Well, I'm going to bring it all up in court.

Penny, Richard. The fact you're that never there.

-Which pretty much makes you a rubbish dad.

-I'm rubbish?

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

-I like the fact that my kid's still alive, not drowned in a bath somewhere.

-Shut up!

-I went out, left her with Jay and Ben. It was a one off, and you know it.

-Well, you know what,

you bring up stuff, I'll bring up stuff.

-And near-death experience kind of trumps everything, don't it?

-For goodness' sake, you are not...

-Oi!

Do one, cutie. Disappear.

You ain't met Derek yet, have you?

You look scared.

Course I'm scared. Aren't you?

I've seen it all before. With my dad.

-That makes it easier, does it?

-In the case of your mum?

Yeah. Makes it more...

I dunno...palatable.

You'd better take that back.

Listen, your mum ain't everything you think she is. Trust me.

This, what's happening with her, let's just call it karma.

Wow!

You know what? I always thought you were weird,

but, really, you're just sick.

Stay away from us, yeah? Stay away from all of us.

Fighting talk, Lauren. You keep that up.

You're going to need it, girl.

PHONE VIBRATES

I met this woman here - Siobhan. She was having treatment an' all.

She was really lovely, you know? Loads of life about her.

We would've ended up being really good mates.

What do you mean, would have?

She didn't make it, Max.

I mean, you'd have put money on it, the way she was.

She was so, like, lively and full of it. But she didn't...

She just didn't.

Yeah, but Dot did.

That's what you got to be focussing on.

That skinny, frail, old thing defying all the odds.

Yeah. Sorry, it's just Siobhan was sitting right where I am.

Let's stand up, then, shall we?

Shut up.

You can beat this, I know you can.

Tanya?

Sam.

This is my specialist nurse, and my oncologist, Dr Morrison.

-Nice to meet you. I'm Max.

-Nice to meet you. You ready?

Tan.

It's all right, take your time. There's no hurry.

I know this ain't going to sound right...

but I need you.

You what?

Just for five minutes.

In what way?

-Ten minutes tops. That's all it's going to take.

-What will?

Just come home with me and I'll explain on the way, all right?

You've turned well weird.

No, no, look.

All I need you to do is nod your head,

be polite and tell the social that everything's brilliant. Pregnant or not,

-you couldn't be happier.

-You want me to pretend to be Lola?

Yes.

Please, Abs, I really need you to do this for me, all right?

-I can't find Lola anywhere, and, knowing her, she ain't going to show.

-I can't do that.

Abi, I'll do anything you ask, I swear.

Sorry, no.

So, what's this, a Van Gogh?

Only the best for Dad.

It's good, Jack, it's good.

So, this is all yours, is it?

Yep. Well, it's mine and Michael Moon's.

Michael Moon? There's a name from the past.

Thought he'd be dead by now.

-Well, he was never cut out for life, was he?

-I found a way.

Michael!

Derek.

Well, shake my hand, then.

-You're looking well.

-Keep myself in shape, know what I mean?

Might want to work on the handshake. Still a bit mincey.

Heard you was here. I hope you don't mind, but I was wondering

if you just fancied a trip to the nursing home to see your father.

What, right this minute?

Well, there's no time like the present, as they say.

We might as well go now, you know, just in case.

Dot, he ain't had a turn, has he?

No, I weren't saying that.

It's just I know that Jim would be ever so delighted to see Derek here.

-I know he would. So why put it off?

-That's a very fair point, Dorothy.

I've got off my shift early and I've got my car outside.

Oh, Jim, he won't be able to believe his eyes,

when he sees his firstborn. And such a gentleman too.

Thank you.

Dad would love it.

Why not?

I knew you was a good man. Ta.

See you later.

See you later.

Cheers.

What?

Good man?

-Leave it.

-Leave it? There was a reason he was banged up, Jack.

I said leave it, didn't I?

We all loved Siobhan.

But what she had and what you have - they're not the same thing.

PHONE VIBRATES

I'm sorry.

Are you, er...

saying I'm in a better position, is that what you're saying?

In a way. But it would still be good to get you restarted on the treatment as soon as possible.

Right. And...

..that's today, is it?

Tan, the sooner you start, the sooner you get better.

You'll have chemo and radiotherapy as usual.

But we'll be accelerating the treatment, have you come in at weekends as well.

Tan, that's good.

It is.

And I'll be there, be right with you.

I can arrange a counsellor. Someone else can talk to you.

They'll be there whenever you feel you need them.

You promise?

Day and night.

No, it's, er...

It's all right. I, er...

It's going to be different this time.

I'll do it. Yeah, I can do this.

It's good timing. Carol's just popped out.

Pat.

Hello, darling. Hello, baby.

You've got about ten minutes.

-He's going to take her off me, I know he is.

-You better hope not.

That brother of his ain't somebody I'd like to leave a kid with.

I saw, I mean, I saw the way you were with him.

That's the only reason I'm here, really.

I've never seen a bloke scare you, Pat.

-Yeah, well, this one's something different. The things he's done.

-Like what?

He beat up my David, for one.

He went round terrorising anybody he could find.

In fact, he ended up in prison.

But I doubt that's had any effect. Some men are born rotten.

-Derek's one of the worst.

-I could use that.

-I could use that in court. Right?

-You'd better use something.

Your Auntie Peggy would, if she was here - she'd go in with all guns blazing.

You're forgetting who you are, where you come from.

It's time you stepped up.

DOOR CLOSES

What are you doing?

Dunno, really.

I'm scared too, Lauren - you're not the only one.

Me and you, Abs, right, we've got to be tough, right?

Put everyone else first. Help 'em out.

Being scared don't solve nothing.

Come through.

Sorry, the traffic and what have you, it's...

No problem, no problem. Do you want to sit down?

Yeah, thank you.

Would you like a tea, coffee?

No, I'm good, thanks.

So...Lola...is she around?

Yeah, er, sort of.

-Thing is...

-I actually need to speak to her alone.

-I knew it.

-Sorry?

-I know what this is about, mate.

-Well, I...

-Someone grassed her up? You know she's pregnant, don't you?

-Pregnant?

-Well, that is why you're here, yeah?

Actually, it was just a courtesy call to introduce myself and get to know her.

TAPPING

-Could I see Lola?

-Yeah, er, could you just give us a sec to get that?

Abi?

I'm, er...I'm here if you still need me.

SHE KNOCKS

What?

-I'm looking for Derek.

-Why?

He around?

Perfume, lip gloss.

You like a psycho, do you? Turns you on?

Look, when you see him, just tell him I called in, yeah?

You need your head examined, girl.

Seriously, go back on the crack, pronto - it's better for your health.

-I'll tell him you said that.

-What?

I said, I'll tell him how highly you think of him.

-What's the matter with you? It's banter, meaningless chat.

-You scared of him?

-Course I'm not.

-Yes, you are. You're scared. I can see it in you. What's he done to you, eh?

What's the big bad man done to you, Michael?

You don't mind your grandfather sitting in with you?

No, I want him here, really.

OK. So can you tell me who the father is?

Sorry, what does that matter? So what - that's not the point, is it?

Mr Mitchell, if you could let Lola answer.

Sorry.

It's Jay. Jay - he's my boyfriend.

And will he be helping to bring the child up?

Er, yeah, yes, he will. He promised me.

He did, he's totally ready.

Where do you intend to bring the child up?

-Er...

-Here. Here. She's going to get tons of support, ain't you?

Just between me and you, I reckon Jay wants to marry her.

You know what it entails... being a mother?

It's about what a baby needs. More than anything. Any kid does.

There's no-one more important than your mum. There really isn't.

Everything you are comes from how much your mum gives you.

Not the big things, the little things. The smiles.

The brushing of your hair when you just can't get it right.

Shopping for shoes. Telling her all your little secrets.

See, I know. I know it better than anyone.

We've got to pull this family together, Jack.

I mean, what's happened to it?

-We've had some rough times, Derek.

-We all have rough times, mate.

You seen Max or Tanya?

So I've just heard from my brief. He's done a bit of rooting around. And I have so got you.

YOU were told to disappear.

Derek. Derek Branning, I presume, yeah?

Haven't you been a bad boy?

Well, I think everything seems to be in order.

Great! Well, that's everybody happy, then, innit?

Thanks, Lola.

Bye.

-Abi? What you doing here?

-Lola!

Are you Lola Pearce?

Look, I can explain.

If this is what I think it is,

-then you have just gone and broken any bond of trust we had with you.

-Pops, what's he banging on about?

If we can't trust you to be honest with us, then how do we know you'll keep the baby safe?

-She's here now. I mean, can't we just do the interview again? I'll put the kettle on.

-I'm sorry,

but we're going to have to seriously consider whether the baby can even stay with you.

They're not going to let Amy stay with a bloke like that, OK?

-So tomorrow night, I get her back.

-Roxy, maybe now...

-Michael! Whose side are you on?

Michael, have you forgotten who I am?

I'm not scared of you.

You're intruding on a family moment.

-Now's not the right time.

-Tough.

-D'you want me to throw you out?

You touch me, and it comes out in court.

Touch you? Oh, it'd be more than a touch, love.

-Will someone please tell this idiot who my cousin is, for his own good?

-You're the one in the dark, darling.

You've got no idea, have you?

Tell her, Michael. Tell her what I do to trash like her.

Or maybe I'll just show her.

We'll see you in court.

Cutie.

MOBILE BEEPS

Denise, it's Jack.

I was just wondering if you're still up for looking after Amy?

It's not me panicking. Just a big day today, that's all.

Cheers, love.

It'll be all right.

Sorry, mate,

I was trying to be quiet.

Oh, don't worry about me.

I haven't slept past 6am in years.

No Rainie?

She popped out to get us a bit of breakfast.

-You've got her trained up quick.

-She volunteered.

Don't worry, mate.

Amy ain't going nowhere.

All right?

What is that?

That, gorgeous woman, is the most important meal of the day.

Now...

tell me all about the dirt you found on Jack for this interim hearing.

What?

Just drop it, OK? There's nothing.

Hey, you're Jimmie, right?

-Only I've got a massive headache right now.

-Try a chemist.

So, what's our angle going to be?

I don't know! You're supposed to be telling me that.

Not a real headache, obviously.

Billy, please! We're busy.

Look, you're fighting for Amy, right?

Well, I'm fighting for Lola's kid.

Only doubly so now.

Social worker's threatening all sorts.

I've been a right idiot, really screwed things up.

Message is eat up and shut up.

Listen, when I win this -

which I will, angle or no angle -

how about you and me get engaged?

Sorry, did you propose to Phil after you helped him?

Judge is a real perv.

Wear something next to illegal.

Hey, look, Rox, sorry about that.

You'll get Amy back, I know you will!

Kids...they have to be with their mums, don't they?

Especially with Christmas coming up, yeah?

(Yeah.)

Y-You've started snoring, you have.

No, I haven't.

You have, right at my lughole. It's related to a weight problem.

Oh, move over Casanova,

there's a new sweet talker in town(!)

What's that?

Not that daft cow again!

Rainie? She's already been told.

I'll deal with her when we get Amy back.

-No, give me the phone.

-Don't be daft.

She's messing around.

If she texts again, she'll have me to deal with.

Was I really snoring?

Did that...hurt?

No, I barely felt it.

Don't stop.

We can make out it's a conjugal visit.

Oi! Time and a place.

-Give us a minute, Jack.

-Derek.

I've got to get Amy's breakfast ready.

If you ain't put her off!

Hide your eyes.

What d'you reckon? Her new dress?

(Say it's nice.) Chose it herself.

You look beautiful, darling.

You look like a little princess, yes, you do.

Look at you!

Thank you, yes!

RAINIE LAUGHS

Daddy's going to go out for a bit, all right?

When I come back, I'm going to have you all to myself.

You know what that means, don't you?

That means we've got to write our Christmas list to Santa, yes!

You can see she's the only kid he's got left round here, can't ya?

And there it is, in black and white.

The end.

The divorce isn't complete until the religious divorce is confirmed.

Only in the eyes of Allah will it be final.

That is never going to happen to us.

This letter is like a pardon, a get-out-of-jail-free card.

The world is yours.

Well...ours.

Know what I'm dreaming of?

Karachi.

-Another holiday?

-Another life. We should go there.

To live, like we said we would.

I told you, now that Yasmin is here, we're staying put.

She'll have to come, too. In fact, we'll all go.

-Tamwar, Afia, Kamil, the whole family.

-We're not going anywhere.

Syed wouldn't let Amira take Yasmin,

so...

I said the whole family, Tamwar.

You don't even know if Amira would want to go.

-They could have a palace there. Why wouldn't she?

-You and Mum not being married won't go down well.

-And there's the Syed factor.

-Meaning?

He's not exactly your biggest fan.

-Tamwar!

-It's true.

Better think of another dream, Dad.

Does Jack know you're coming round?

Yeah, yeah, he called me

and it's sort of become a regular thing now anyway, so...

I just thought...

-Oh!

-Sorry, sorry, didn't realise.

-Morning, ladies!

Is Mr Branning...here?

One is, the other's taken Amy round to some bird's.

That "bird" would be me.

-Sorry.

-Knew he wasn't listening.

Nerves must've got to him.

-He's gone there, and you've come here?

-She's bright, that one(!)

Have you met Derek?

Good morning, good morning.

DEREK AND RAINIE LAUGH

Shirley! Phil!

What d'you think?

Bit early, innit?

-That's the point. Stand in front of it with me, quick.

-Cos?

Take some pictures. We'll show them that we're set for Christmas

and that Amy'll love being here.

-That won't float!

-It is!

Because this is a lovely, proper, warm family home full of...

-life and love and...

-Christmas.

-Christmas!

So just make it look like the only thing missing is Amy. OK?

How come I ain't in the photo?

Because you're Santa, and he's never seen.

Grin.

Perfect.

Hi.

You seriously need some home help.

If you're offering.

They have people for this, back in Karachi.

Women who wash, clean, cook...

childcare.

Are you selling time-share now?

I saw Syed a moment ago, out and about,

and I realised you'd be here.

Alone.

MASOOD SIGHS

You knew it was coming.

Still, it's weird to see it in print.

Have you heard from Zainab? She got a letter too, right?

I posted it.

But, no...I haven't heard anything.

Think I will?

Dunno.

Nearly 30 years, Mas.

You can't just write them off.

You've got stuff to work out,

who gets what, who gets who, all of that.

Maybe I should go round? Make the first move.

I had to talk to Ian, for Bobby's sake.

Excuse me, can you remind me what I'm paying you for?

The print shop said the photos won't be long,

I've gone for glossy.

Here, have a drink, a straightener.

Couldn't get it out with Phil about.

Turn up drunk, Shirley?

All I want you to be is relaxed.

Normal.

They're going to climb all over you, wind you up.

You're hot-headed at the best of times.

That's going to make me about ten times worse, innit?

What?

-There's something I've got to sort out back at the house.

-Shir...!

DOORBELL RINGS

Hi.

She's still asleep.

Yasmin hates having morning naps,

but luckily I love it when she does, so Mummy wins!

You could've had a tidy-up whilst you're waiting.

You still want Syed back, correct?

What do you think?

And how far are you willing to go?

You're too old, too wrinkly.

Pakistan far enough?

Pakistan?

Karachi. You, Yasmin and Syed.

Can you picture that?

Only, I can.

Syed would never go there,

-they don't allow the gay thing, remember?

-Who says he's gay?

Hello! Wake-up call for the doctor!

You and I both know that Christian poisoned him.

Got inside his head, turned him,

made him into something

he was never really comfortable with.

But in Pakistan, away from all the reminders...

I think Syed would get back on track.

Back to how he was.

We'll all be there to make sure of it.

I'd love to believe that, I really would, but it's just...

Open your eyes, Amira.

You had a child together, think about that.

How could that be possible if...

underneath it all he wasn't...

for want of a better word, normal?

All I'm saying is Zainab and I are going back to Karachi.

She doesn't know it, but as soon as she realises you're bringing Yasmin,

it's going to happen.

All I need is for you and Syed to be on that plane with us.

Are you kidding?

After your little DNA fraud?

He hates your guts.

Then you'll have to make him love me again, won't you?

SHE SIGHS

I really thought you were on to something then.

Listen to me.

Christian could come back any day

and get inside Syed's head.

Then where would you be?

Kamil should be happy for a bit.

I've put his favourite DVD on.

I'm not sure what I wanted to say.

Now I'm here...

..seeing you...

..I'm lost for words.

Well, I never thought...

Neither did I.

I always thought we would be this...

..what we were...

..forever.

Does that even make any sense?

Did anything with us?

It used to.

Yes.

Yes, it did. It made perfect sense.

This was never meant to happen, Zee. It wasn't part of the plan.

Well, it is what it is.

It's neither of our faults,

or it's both of our faults.

Who knows?

Either way, we're just...

names on a letter now.

HE SNIFFS

-You going to be all right?

-Are you?

I asked first.

Yeah, I guess I'll have to be, just like you.

Well, we mustn't do...

Yes?

I really don't want us to fall out over the children.

Well, more with Kamil, I mean.

-You know what I mean.

-(Yeah.)

-We put his needs first.

-Absolutely.

No fighting.

-That's not going to be us.

-Definitely not.

Even though there isn't an us anymore.

-You know, when those divorce papers came through, my heart...

-I know.

-..flipped over.

-Mine, too.

I had to sit down.

I was lucky, I was already sitting.

So it's just the...religious divorce, and everything's confirmed.

That should be tomorrow, so...

There it goes again.

SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

I'm glad for the good times, Zee.

Oh, there were good times?

(Joking!)

That's very funny.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Ha-ha.

I'm glad for them too, Mas.

So, should we shake hands?

I dunno, do we?

Zee...

-..thanks for...

-Yeah, you, too. Thank you.

(I mean it.)

DOOR CLOSES

Dirty, little skank! She thinks she's so clever!

-Shirley, leave it, you ain't got time.

-Are we ready?

-Five minutes!

Shirley, seriously!

OK. Let's go get Amy.

Daddy's going to be right back, OK?

So you just think presents, yeah?

-We'll be in the Vic later, celebrating.

-You sound confident.

-Not turning up to lose.

-Let's move. Got to meet Rainie outside.

On second thoughts, Derek, there's no way you two can come.

Be a bit like inviting Burke and Hare, won't it?

I see you've kept your sense of humour!

-If the judge knew you two were near Amy...

-OK, fair point!

I'll meet you in the Vic later. How's that sound?

Yeah, go on. Mine's a Scotch.

Come on.

Who's Daddy's little girl, eh?

-Been phoning you about five times.

-Sorry, had my phone on silent.

You look sad.

What? I'm not sad.

Is it us? Me and Yasmin.

What you on about?

We could move. If we're getting in your way.

-Cramping your style.

-Did I say that you were?

You don't need to. We're obviously not what you want.

-Hmm.

-Mmm.

Did you see her?

Yeah.

And?

It's probably the kindest we've been to each other in ages.

That's a lot better than me and Ian.

The religious divorce is due tomorrow and...that's it.

Gone. Everything. Forever.

Oh! I wanted to cry, Jane. I really did.

Imagine that, a man of my age!

What did you expect? You don't just skip off into the sunset.

That'd be a sight.

Listen, you've got me, all right?

So you do what you've got to do, you call me, don't call me.

I'm not going to put any pressure on you.

Now you're making me want to cry.

What are you like?!

Roxy? Roxy?

Keep that picture in your head.

Somebody else with your kid. We ain't having it.

All right?

We are not having it.

I'll meet you in the Vic afterwards.

And I want some good news.

Come on.

-We could get out of your hair.

-Did I say I wanted that?

You never say you don't.

Well, I don't, OK?

Having you and Yasmin here is great.

It's really nice to hear that, but...

I just don't think it's good for Yasmin living in the flat.

She might start picking up the vibe.

She's way too young for that.

OK, don't get angry, but...

..there could be a chance that I could go to Pakistan.

Since when?

-It won't be forever.

-How long?

-Just be a temporary thing.

Why? What you going to do over there?

Well...

I've got this great idea, OK?

So don't go blabbing it.

-The Olympics.

-Yeah, think I've heard of them.

Well...it means there'll be...

loads more visitors to London.

And what do you do when you visit a new place?

You buy a souvenir.

A souvenir that I've had manufactured in Karachi.

When did you think of all this?

I made calls, my uncle has a factory out there.

You're not taking Yasmin away from me.

Then come with us.

-I'd go down a treat over there(!)

-I'm really surprised at you.

-We could live like millionaires.

-I'm happy here.

If that's happy, I'd hate to see you sad.

I'm happy, all right?

I need to get back to work.

There's nothing here for you anymore.

Nothing.

What?

Shouldn't be too long now, eh?

I'm Derek Branning.

So?

I'm being polite.

Well, be polite...somewhere else.

Jane.

Look, can I ask you something?

I want you to be honest, don't worry about my feelings.

D'you think Christian's ever coming back?

Nothing's changed since the last time you asked, sorry.

Right, just wanted to be sure.

You know, Syed, do yourself a favour.

Let go. Christian's gone.

Well?

Yeah!

Oh, you won!

Your faces!

Party time, eh?

Let me get the drinks.

She didn't have a leg to stand on!

Jack, Jack.

-You joining us?

-Phil. Roxy'll be needing you.

We're sorry all right, but Roxy will get to see Amy now and then.

That's not what she wanted, is it? Besides, Amy's a Mitchell.

So you only got her on loan.

Yeah, well, don't hurry back.

We should...go and see Amy.

Tell you what, let's all go, eh?

-Make a big fuss.

-Yeah, go on.

I'm proud of ya, son. Proud of ya. Well done.

We're due back in court next month,

I will build the best case ever.

Solid gold, 24-carat with hallmarks,

I guarantee it.

Rox.

All right?

I can't believe it.

You're sacked.

-Phil?

-Bill, show him the door, will you?

-Let's not be hasty.

Just do one, yeah?

Don't rush off, all right?

-Thought we could have a chat.

-You still got that headache?

-Give it ten minutes, meet me back here.

-OK.

How'd it happen?

Took all of five minutes for them to come to a decision.

How can that be right, doing that to a kid?

I don't care about the cost, I'll hire someone else.

Didn't even get him to show my photos.

You may have lost this hearing,

but you will win the next one, we'll make sure of it.

I'm going home.

Bill, go with her, will you?

Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything stupid.

We'll be along in a bit, all right?

-We should be there for her.

-Hold up.

Look at that.

It weren't Rainie.

Would you mind looking after her for a bit? I need to make some calls.

-Calls?

-I've got this great idea for a business.

Didn't have you down as a businesswoman.

Full of surprises, me!

But wish me luck.

Cos if all goes well,

me and Yasmin could be headed to Pakistan.

Syed can't be happy about that.

Funnily enough, when I told him he had this look...

..like he was excited.

I think he's tempted!

She did say Pakistan, didn't she?

Must be something in the air.

Hold up, Jimmie. You're saying that I can adopt Lola's kid, yeah?

There's a special guardianship order you can apply for.

It's not adoption, get that word out your head,

cos that would make you both the kid's dad and her great granddad,

and that's enough to confuse anyone.

You can fight that for me?

I can fight any time, any place, Mr Mitchell.

Mr Mitchell - I like the way you say that!

You look nice.

Do I?

Just threw this on.

I thought we could go out.

-Love to.

-Not here, somewhere in town?

-Meet you at the tube?

-Whatever you say, Mr A.

Well, how about that?

You didn't see that.

There's not going to be anyone left here. Everyone's moving on, Syed.

Everyone but you.

-So, how was Amy?

-Good as gold.

Got a few Christmas present ideas for you. Hope you're minted.

Well, I would be, if Michael paid his way at the gym.

Listen.

When I took her to the playgroup, she seemed...a bit nervous.

Nervous?

Yeah, of the other kids.

Well, that's what having Roxy as a mum does to you.

-She hardly ever took her out to meet other kids.

-Anyway, better get off.

-Cheers, Denise.

-Yep.

Well, you're bringing me luck.

-Of course I am.

-Oi!

-DOOR BANGS

-Oh!

-Sorry, they just barged in!

-What's this?

Out.

-Like I'm going to do what you tell me!

-You, get out.

-No chance!

I wouldn't argue.

It's all right, ladies, it's all right.

RAINIE SIGHS

-This is sooner than I thought.

-You thought I wouldn't work it out?

Work what out?

All them texts, the letters, all that grief you've been handing out.

-You've got the wrong person.

-Let's go somewhere else.

Well, I'm not budging, if that's what you think.

-I want that memory stick with my confession on it.

-That's long gone.

Yeah, I've been stupid, thinking that.

You hand it over and I'm out of here.

It's all right, Jack, I'm here.

In here.

Things would be a lot different if Amy weren't through there.

This is the last time you set foot in here.

You take this, you disappear, all right?

I've got Amy, that's all that matters.

-Hang on.

-What?

-It ain't here, is it?!

-Don't try it on!

Look for yourself. Someone's taken it!

-Who's been in here?

-I don't know! Half the Square's been through this flat.

I ain't buying that, not one bit of it.

Well, you should, if you knew what else I had on ya.

It was a file.

All right? A back-up, in case you got too big for your boots.

You've got a file on me?

Had a file, Phil. Ain't here, is it?

What was on it?

Everything.

Morning, Ted!

-Well, hello.

-Well, hello.

Got anything for me to sign?

Er...

I'll need your signature right here.

Oi. Later, potato.

There you go, Kamil baba. I've got find your arm bands.

Very nice of Daddy to take you swimming.

Isn't he a kind daddy, eh?

I'm off to work. Are you OK?

Pakistan will be the best move we ever make.

I'll make sure of it.

-GIGGLING

-Jane! Will you just take this inside?

-Tam, give your dad a break.

-Teenager more like.

Look, I know Jane and I are...

-Sick-making.

-Tam, I am here.

What about Doctor Evil and your mother?

They're sick-making as well but... at least they're doing it discreetly.

Last year, yeah, Christmas morning...

I actually resented her for waking me up at, like, stupid o'clock.

Do you know what I would give for that now?

I know.

Now she's going to be over there

with that nasty ex-con, opening up her presents, this Christmas.

I mean, how can they possibly say

that is in the best interests of my child?

How can Jack say that's OK?

-Alfie?

-What?

I've got umpteen cases of the finest vin rouge. 80p a litre.

-Oh, yeah?

-Sure it's not window cleaner?

Fat Elvis assures me it's legit red wine from Nigeria.

Oh. I wouldn't put that on my chips. It's, like, 100% proof.

So, it's exotic.

Chuck in a few oranges and stuff, and viola. Mulled wine.

And I'm going to make my lucky mince pies.

Well, you certainly got the lucky touch, Miss Millions.

You sure you're all right running the bar without me?

It'll be a marked improvement.

Well, as long as it don't make me punters go blind,

I reckon I could turn a nice little tidy profit.

Here's to Fat Elvis.

Zainab?

Ah...you're ruining the mystique.

I forgot my packed lunch. House details.

-Thank you.

-And I've just seen Masood with Jane.

Yes, I've already heard all the gossip.

Bet your surgery's alight with it.

I can't believe Masood parading that Beale reject around,

shoving that information down people's throats.

She hasn't an ounce of self respect, throwing herself at him.

You have every right to have your head held high.

Your behaviour throughout the separation has been impeccable.

But we don't have to worry about any of this soon.

I'm not worried about it now.

OK, cheese sandwiches, extra cucumber, lots of mayonnaise.

Now your divorce is finalised, we can avoid all scandal..

It couldn't have come quick enough for me.

-And I've made you some dhal...

-..by getting married in Pakistan.

Rose can heat it up. Thanks.

So...did you...?

Did you just propose to me?

I assumed that's what you wanted?

-Well, not like this.

-Well, you...

stopped our physical relationship, so I assumed.

Because it wasn't right, you here.

We were waiting till we get married, weren't we?

You do still want to be with me, don't you?

Well, if this is as romantic as it gets.

And this is before the wedding? I can't wait for Pakistan(!)

-Zainab, I...

-You know what...?

..don't make too many assumptions about me.

This is late for you.

I haven't got any bookings, this morning.

Tanya's not been around.

The salon's taking a bit of a nosedive, to be honest.

Nice to have a break from greasing

-all those sweaty backs and spotty clefts.

-Hang on.

I wouldn't have to do that if I set up a business in Pakistan.

Hey. Booga!

No, seriously, how much do you get per massage?

I get richly rewarded.

Arthritic fingers, that's where you're heading.

Oh, come on, it'll only be temporary, just until we set up a business.

And, who knows, we could get a little holiday out of it.

Then, in 2012, we could walk away with a huge profit.

We're going to need it cos Yasmin has acquired some very expensive taste.

Why isn't dad telling me this himself?.

I've only just decided.

Why don't you and Tamwar come for a while? See if you like it?

Tamwar doesn't trust anyone else to run the restaurant.

-I don't want to be late.

-Please, Afia.

What's that on your hair?

Coconut oil.

My mum used it on all of us...

in Pakistan.

You should try it sometime.

You know...

I couldn't have asked for a better wife for my Tamwar.

-How long do you leave it on for?

-I'd miss both of you. Terribly.

Your ends need a trim.

My mum used to do that.

She said our hair was our crowning glory.

I'd sit on her lap and she'd plait it.

Whisper silly jokes in my ear.

We'd spend ages choosing which coloured bobbles to wear.

Your father would be crushed if you didn't give it a go.

My husband would be crushed if we DID give it a go.

DOORBELL RINGS

Got your message.

SHE RAISES HER VOICE: I couldn't sleep, last night, thinking about Pakistan.

(Syed thinks it's temporary.)

(But, once I get him out there, he won't be coming back.)

-Oh.

-Sorry.

Come on, you lucky people, get your silver Christmas trees direct,

I mean direct, from the West End.

Lucky pies!

Oh, I'm so sorry!

-It's all right, love.

-Oh! Oh, have one for free.

No, thank you very much.

Sorry, mate, have a drink on the house. Mo, sort him out.

That'll take the hair off your gorgeous rugged chest.

-Yeah, all right, Mo.

-Big man like you needs feeding up.

-Thank you.

-Listen, as a way of apology,

I'll give you one of my silver trees at half price,

direct from the windows of Bond Street. Keep the missus happy, eh?

Unfortunately, I haven't got a missus.

-Nice try though.

-That's all right.

-I'll take one. Impress the new man in my life.

-Oh, hark at her, eh?

-Thank you, sweetheart. Take the big one at the end there, all yours.

-Thanks.

-Can I have a word with you?

-'Course you can. What's the matter with you, you dopey cow?

Yes, mate?

-You've got a very good touch. I'm in sales myself.

-Oh, right.

Fridge freezers.

That's handy this time of the year. The amount of food you get.

I just happen to be recruiting new agents at the moment.

Man of your talents, could be right up your street.

Obviously, I'd have to take a percentage off the top.

But I could let you have them at cost.

-'Course, no such thing as a free lunch, is there?

-Guaranteed profits.

All totally legit.

You see, my warehouse got flooded.

The stock's all good. Just looking for a new home.

And you, silver tongue, you can have first refusal.

-Why don't you have a think about it.

-Yeah, yeah, 'course I will.

The name's Derek. Derek Branning.

Right, yeah. I'm Alfie. Alfie Moon.

Yeah, I know who you are.

Cheers.

Come on, everyone, get your mulled wine, best in Walford!

All those hours to kill in the sunshine around our private pool.

-You didn't waste any time.

-Kamil and Yasmin running around, inseparable.

Oh, yeah, best mates, just like an uncle and niece should be.

Afia! It's unbelievably cute. I could eat them.

But never really knowing their Auntie Afia.

Me and Tamwar are happy here.

"Do you want any naans with that?" Very rewarding(!)

And dumping your kid on an underpaid nanny while you go shopping.

Something to be really proud of(!)

Amira is setting up a business there. Your father thinks it's a fantastic idea.

I knew he was proud of me.

You know, Yusef is beginning to mean so much,

especially after everything with my own father. PHONE RINGS

Not on good terms?

I don't know if you know but, yesterday,

me and Syed saw something...

You know what, is there anyone left who hasn't seen Masood and Jane together?

Oh, no.

No!

Anything been taken?

Obviously ain't smackheads, is it?

Someone with a vendetta.

This is down to that Phil Mitchell.

Who the HELL does he think he is?

-Sorry, have I missed a chapter?

-He wants something I ain't got no more.

I had a mate from the old bill dig out some dirt on him for me.

-What you got all that stuff for?

-I was going to use against him

-if he carried on giving me grief. Remember what he was like?

-Where's it now, this stuff?

-I dunno.

-Mitchell obviously doesn't believe me, does he?

-Do you want me to go and have a little chat with him?

Derek, no, please. I'll deal with this my own way.

I don't want any comebacks.

Maybe you're right. We've got our little Amy to think about, ain't we?

I could just do without all this attention. All this aggro.

I mean, who's to say he ain't going to go to social services?

Listen, Jack. As much as I love Amy,

with my record, maybe I shouldn't be under the same roof.

Maybe I should go and stay with Max.

Might not be a bad idea. I'll check with Tanya. Yeah, come.

And you, I don't want you to worry about anything.

Right, let's get this tidied up.

Your hair looks nice.

One day, Masood. One day was all you had to wait.

Today. OK, because today is the day

that you and I are officially divorced in the eyes of Allah.

Right. I'm sorry.

Where's Kamil? I promised him I'd take him swimming.

I had to make sure that fancy woman of yours wasn't around getting in on the act.

It is too soon for Kamil, do you understand that?

Flaunting her like that in public.

It's spiteful, it is disrespectful!

Add to that, evil, creepy, insidious,

and you've summed up perfectly the parasite sucking out your brain cells.

-Yusef Khan. The name alone used to make you cower.

-He's asked me to marry him.

And it couldn't have been more romantic.

Congratulations(!) Divorced and engaged in one day. Well done(!)

So it'll be legitimate then, won't it, Masood?

Kamil having someone else to call Daddy.

RAP MUSIC PLAYS FROM INSIDE

Tamwar, turn that down!

We thought we were so cool, listening to this.

Our little rebellion.

On the Walkman.

Over and over again.

Sharing the headphones.

Cheek to cheek.

We can go back to that place, Zainab.

And I will make it my lifetime's work

to make you happy.

If you'll please say...

yes.

Be my beautiful wife again.

You're just as beautiful as when we married in Pakistan, if not more so.

The most soulful eyes.

All the wisdom and intelligence, love and honour shining through.

So?

I didn't quite catch that.

-Yes?

-Yes.

-SHE GIGGLES

Care for a dance?

I hope this makes up for this morning's assumptions.

-# Don't push me...

-# Cos I'm close to...

# The edge. #

Hopefully our children will see we're a strong family unit and they'll follow us.

Why don't we... announce it at the restaurant?

Have a special family meal. In fact...

let's go for a drink straight after surgery. Show the...

DOOR OPENS

You're cocking your leg up the wrong tree.

Well, how could that file just go missing, eh?

Same way as the USB stick. I'm not entirely thrilled that some freak's been going through my personals.

-I don't know what your game is but if you want to have a go, do it now. Come on.

-It...wasn't...me.

-The court gave me everything I could want for yesterday.

-Now you're rubbing it in.

-While Roxy's killing herself?

-No. All I'm saying is Amy's my only priority.

You're going to regret wasting your time on me,

taking your mind off the ball, when this real culprit strikes.

So who's been in your flat lately?

It was chaotic, all right? Take your pick.

-Who?

-The night that Amy nearly drowned,

the entire square went through my flat.

Face it...who haven't you made enemies with round here?

You pick on me again... I've still got a lot of mates in that nick.

Marsden even. They'd be very interested in your murky past.

Things will blow over here.

Dad, don't go.

Zainab's so fragile.

Pakistan will mend her. She's extremely keen. What can I do?

You promised me after mum died...

you'd never leave me on my own.

-Then come with me.

-Tam doesn't want to.

All Tamwar wants is you.

He'll follow you to the moon and back.

Afia, whatever happened to that fearless woman who wanted to see the world?

Is this where you really see yourself?

Neighbours to thugs like the Mitchells.

Serving masalas to make ends meet.

You sound like Amira.

Anyone would think SHE was your daughter.

You're my princess.

And you can live like one out there.

THEY LAUGH

It's always been you and me. Since mum.

I'm not saying Zainab could ever replace her.

And I'm doing this for Zainab.

It's what SHE wants...

for me to marry her.

I'll propose but only if you say it's OK.

I respect your opinion.

I understand this could be hurtful.

What do YOU want?

To be with my family.

My family is Tamwar.

So is mine.

And I could really use your support.

Zainab cares so much about what people think of us together.

She's desperate to avoid shame.

We can do that in Pakistan.

Married.

Go ahead. Ask her.

I can't stop you, can I?

Can't stop what you do or where you want to go.

I'll give you and Tamwar everything you need out there.

And you won't lose the restaurant. I'll sort it. Anything you want.

Please...Afia.

In memory of your beautiful mother.

Don't let us break our promise.

I can't be bothered re-doing it when it's not ours in the first place.

Only got to look at him funny and bang goes the lease.

-You got the rent?

-That time already?

Just get it, will ya?

Sorry to hear about Amy.

LAUGHTER

Phil, stupid question but I'm going to ask it anyway.

Will you sell me The Vic?

-Like you could afford it.

-What if I could though?

-So we could call it ours?

-Yes.

If you ever got a deposit together maybe I'll talk about it.

-You're not in trouble, are you?

-I'm not saying I will sell it but...

maybe I'm thinking about a change of scenery.

Your sister loves it out there. Wouldn't you like to spend some time with her?

Afia, why are you packing our bags?

-Tam...

-No, OK. Just. no.

-I've never been without my dad.

And I want to be here for MY dad because it's going to tear him apart if Mum uproots with Kamil.

Your dad is a big boy now. He can cope without you.

-But can I cope.

-Afia, you've got me. I'm your husband.

Table number seven, please. I feel lucky.

-You did it then.

-With your permission.

Sorry, you knew?

Er...most people say congratulations.

-Same again?

-Yeah, cheers.

Just killing time before I go to Aunt Sal's.

This one's on the house, all right?

To what do I owe this little pleasure?

Right, well I thought we could have a few drinks here.

-Nice little takeaway and a bunk up in the B&B with you, skinny pins.

-B&B?

Yeah, just for tonight.

Just till Max clears it with Tanya for me to stay with them.