27/11/2011 EastEnders Omnibus

No, Mrs Jessop doesn't live here any more.

I'm her sister. Yeah, she's... She's moved on.

Am I happy with my internet?!

PHONE VIBRATES

Alfie, do you want to dress Tommy?

Still think you've lost the plot.

-No, my mate rang this morning. He was practically giving them away.

-Christmas trees? In November?

Shut up, you donkey! Alfie Moon is setting a trend.

Those Santas flew off the shelves so quick,

-I thought Rudolph would get a speeding ticket.

-Alfie, it's still November.

What you talking about? It's never too early for Christmas. Come on!

They're trees. They ain't got legs. Let's get a move on.

Well, if it's not Janine, then who's doing it?

-What about Dancer and Prancer?

-What, Syed and Christian?

I don't think it's their style. They'd do it in song.

Phil.

Phil!

-She's got a man in her room.

-Oh, no, that's her wireless.

-They were banging the headboard.

-There's no cause for vulgarity, Cora.

And it ain't the first time. She's pulled the vicar!

The Vicar? The Vicar's not for pulling.

We're talking your sister.

Me half-sister.

DOORBELL RINGS The Vicar. In my back bedroom?

Bit of cheap lippy, couple of G and Ts.

She wouldn't.

DOORBELL RINGS Would she?

Mrs Cross. Mrs Branning.

I am never drinking vodka again.

You said that last week, didn't you? There you go, darling.

-Do you want me to take you this morning?

-No, I'll be fine.

You seen my essay?

You're going to want some more of that?

-I'll get it myself then.

-Dunno who Shirley thinks she is.

-You took your time.

-She looks at me like I'm dirt.

-Have YOU seen my essay for English?

-I only said hello.

-I left it in here.

I still want those shoes, you know?

All right, I'm going back to bed.

Could you take Oscar in for me?

-Sorry. Busy.

-Please, look I want to get in early, I've...

-Look, I got your milk, didn't I?

-I can't do everything round here.

-Thanks a lot(!)

Abi! That's for Oscar!

Wasn't me. I'm invisible.

-More tea, Vicar?

-I wanted to have a little word with Rose.

Rose? She's out.

Said she'd give me a hand again with next month's church social.

Oh, she went out early. Very early.

Exercise, you see.

She loves her exercise. Can't get enough.

And, between you and me, I've got two tickets for next week at the Hackney Empire.

Oh, how lovely. Well, I'll tell her that you called.

-That'll be her now.

-Cora.

-Rose!

-Just a second.

Get your face down here. You've got a visitor!

And bring your friend!

Ah, didn't know there was a party going on.

Morning.

Er...

See you, bye.

-Lola!

-I've got fryers to clean.

Right, you want me to put that in a note to your teacher?

Look, I've had a letter from your school. You've been bunking off.

-Everyone gets them. They won't do anything.

-I could get a fine.

-It's a good job I'm working then.

What if they involve the social, eh? Do you want to go back to that home?

-Look, all right, Pops. Just chillax, all right? See you later.

-Lo...

-KNOCK ON DOOR

-So, this is where she keeps you locked up then, is it?

Do you want something?

I've been doing a bit of digging.

The bloke who died in the fire.

Borrowed Lauren's laptop, spent half the night on the internet.

-I can deal with it.

-Don't worry, I cleared all my search history and everything.

-Been a proper little Columbo. Not that Columbo had a laptop.

-Yeah, I said I can deal with it.

And there's nothing. His only relatives are long dead.

So whoever's sniffing round, it's nothing to do with him.

It's not about revenge or anything. So, it's going to be OK.

You think this is over, eh? You don't know nothing.

-I'm trying to help you here.

-Yeah, well, I don't need it, all right.

-You confided in me, remember? You chose to tell me.

-Yeah. And that was a mistake.

Come on, Phil.

You can go now.

I said...you can go.

-He nicked them two weeks early!

-What do you want him to do?

-Stick them in the ground and hope they grow again?

-I should open up.

-We're all in this together. It's only morning.

-No-one buys trees in November.

-They'll be inside a vacuum by Christmas.

-Shut up, you big girl!

What are you, a half-Moon? Sliver of the Moon? Moon by night? Come on!

Oh, hello, Patrick. You ain't been home, have you? You was wearing that last night.

-A gentleman never divulges.

-Oh, gentleman my elbow!

-Can't go wrong with a bacon roll.

-Patrick's getting his strength back.

-Oh, yeah?

-Spot of the extracurriculars, eh?

-Come on. A man's business is his business, all right?

You're just jealous that he's getting some.

Christmas trees in November?

See? I told you Alfie, didn't I?

You said the same about the Dutch Santas.

It's all about the branding.

I've told you, no story, no swans.

But I have been known to do a nice fried hack.

I hope Janine don't like her kneecaps.

Black coffee. Strong, please. Hello. You all right?

Have you still got that flu?

Er, yeah. Well, it's been a busy morning.

-You look rough, Tan. Are you sleeping all right?

-Bet you're not.

-Shh!

Why do we have to keep it so secret?

I want to shout it from the rooftops.

Except Zainab would be pushing you off them.

You know, for the first time in ages,

-I think I could be really happy.

-Two sugars.

-Not for me, Shirley.

-It wasn't a question.

Er...

Tanya.

I'd better make a move.

-I thought you were busy.

-I am.

What about your coffee?

Coffee, two sugars.

-I wanted a sandwich.

-Yeah, and I've made you a coffee.

-Someone's got her face on upside down.

-Why don't you crawl back down the drain that you come out of?

Must be hard. Phil getting all those photos and stuff.

Cheese and tomato, please.

Yeah, Jane'll serve you. Here, Jane, congratulations. You've just passed the interview.

Oi.

Oi!

I'm talking to you.

You think you're the only one with his secrets?

You going to pay for that coffee?

You don't even know what those photos are about, do ya?

What's she on about?

Those photos and the crank calls.

They're all part of the same game.

Yeah, well, maybe they're just kids.

Your dad thinks there's someone out to get him.

There's always someone out to get him.

It's different this time, Ben.

Why? Who do you reckon it is?

I don't know. But I will find out.

-There we go.

-Non-drop guaranteed?

Oi, oi, oi, 110% guaranteed, cupcake, thank you!

You know what, I reckon if I take one off you, I can turn a nice little profit.

-Oooh!

-Come on, even Alfie ain't doing that!

-Oi, you, shtoom.

-Well, you'd better watch and learn then.

-See? Watch and learn.

-All right, Rose, darling?

-Hiya. Patrick.

-Rose.

You are so busted!

She just wouldn't stay away from me, man.

You randy old goat, you.

Can't we just raise the tone a little bit, yeah?

Oh, someone's been a dirty stop-out.

-A tenner says I can get more than I'm paying for it.

-Thank you, done.

Come on, muscles, help the lady. Come on, chop chop, good lad.

-Come on, biceps will help you.

-All right, all right.

Good boy.

Nice?

-You all right?

-Yeah, why shouldn't I be?

Well, the last time I saw you...

I was drunk. Don't know where my head is half the time.

Kat? Look, I don't mean to pry...

but last night you said you'd ruined everything.

And I'm guessing that you weren't talking about the dinner.

The other week. Me and this bloke. It was only one night.

In fact it wasn't even a night.

Why?

I don't know why. There's never a why.

What, you're not happy?

Just, give me something good and I mess it up.

Look, you ain't messed nothing up, yeah?

You've got a roof over your head,

little tiger man here, eating his way through your fridge.

-You scared Alfie's going to find out?

-He knows. I told him.

And he ain't kicked you out?

Mate, the few men I've had, they'd have kicked me to the kerb, long time.

Well, Alfie ain't like that.

Cos he gets it. He understands.

You are a lucky lady.

He's dealing with it.

And if I do it again, he'll deal with that and all.

And I will do it again. Cos that's what I do.

I'll just rip his heart out, again and again.

-No, but you won't though.

-But I will though. And he knows it, but he just won't say it.

You want me to slap that dumb face of yours? He loves you.

Yeah, I know. But it makes no difference.

Oh, don't talk rubbish.

A leopard never changes its spots.

Everyone deserves a second chance.

I've had a second chance.

Well, third then, whatever. Listen, you've got a good man.

And he loves you.

So stop all of this moaning and self-pity

and put on your lip gloss and get on with loving him back.

She's not given you my hours?

I think she's giving me her own hours.

Don't get me wrong, it's nice to have you back.

-you know, what with Bianca and Ricky away.

-Don't worry, Carol.

She took one look at that frying pan and threw in the towel.

Well, the apron.

Oi, you, here.

I wondered when you'd show your face.

-Auntie Carol.

-I thought you were going to stop drinking.

Just having a laugh.

Are you still worried about her, Lauren?

Oi, oi.

-All right? Thank you.

-That's all right.

Ain't you going to stay and help me decorate it?

What you going to hang on it? Chips? You all right, Bill?

All right?

-Enjoy your tree.

-Thank you.

What?

Don't you think he's a bit old?

Ew, Pops, he was just dropping off the tree.

Bit hot in here for one of them, ain't it?

-Thought you were going to go to school.

-Well, I took a shift here. We can't all have breaks, you know.

-You're a bright girl, Lola.

-I hate school, you know that.

I just don't want you wasting your life on boys and rubbish jobs.

-This ain't a rubbish job.

-I'm supposed to be bringing you up properly.

I don't need bringing up.

I just...

I just think you could do so much better for yourself.

PHONE RINGS

Hello? Hello?!

Same crank again.

Fifth time today.

I know who's doing it. All of it.

Oh, hello.

I just saw Lauren.

-Rainie?!

-It makes sense?

-No, it don't.

If she thinks she's got something over you, she might think she can have you.

-Stop being paranoid. It ain't Rainie.

-How does she know about the photos?

It ain't Rainie.

-If it ain't her doing it, how come she knows everything about it?

-Because I told her!

Told her what?

What did you tell her, Phil?

You were out of control.

No, I wasn't.

-You were off your heads, both of you!

-Oh, don't be ridiculous, Carol.

She can't even remember what she got up to. Does she do that often?

-Er, well, no. I don't think so.

-She needs a better role model than that, Tanya.

-Look, Carol, we were just having a bit of fun, that's all.

-Yeah? Well, she doesn't look that happy now.

Has she said something to you?

Why? What is it you think she might've said?

Nothing, I just... Look, Carol, no offence,

-but you sticking your nose in, it's not really...

-I'm just worried about her drinking.

Well, she's not Billie! She's...

I'm so sorry.

I'm not on a mission. I am just worried about you. All of you.

-Well, I don't know why.

-Because you're family.

And you look exhausted.

It's just that Oscar's not sleeping well.

I've been there. I know what it's like. Bringing up kids on your own.

-I'm sorry, I'm just a bit busy...

-Doing everything yourself. You know, your sister up and down.

And I know... I know you're missing Max.

There's something else, though, isn't there?

Everything OK?

Yeah.

Er, yeah, Carol was just...just going, so... Thanks for popping in.

I know where you are.

-See ya.

-See ya.

What?

What?

It wasn't meant to happen. It was an accident!

Yeah, so you keep saying.

I didn't know that he was in there, did I?

Yeah, well, it ain't any of my business.

The insurance scam, the fire.

What, do you think I don't know who you are?

What you're capable of doing?

Do you think you could do anything that would shock me?

So why you giving me daggers then?

Because you told her.

You told that little crackhead and not me.

And you know what? You didn't even have to. She already knew.

That's why she's doing all this. Mess with your head.

Get straight in there.

Come on, you lucky people, get your Christmas trees.

Hello, how are you, my friend? Fancy a Christmas tree?

-You buy the trunk and we'll throw in the needles.

-It's a bit early.

-That's why they're guaranteed.

-Make a statement. Buy a couple, yeah?

-You can't beat a guarantee.

If it don't last, chop it up and have it as a manger.

One for the church, one for home. Special offer today - two trees for the price of one. Vicars only.

-Oi! 30 minutes.

-What?

30 minutes, I've been vacuuming. They're all in the batter.

That ain't really, are they?

-110% guaranteed.

-Yes, yeah.

-I think that means I get my money back.

Yeah, all right, all right. Here you are, quick.

You're killing me here, sweetheart.

-And 10%.

-You're killing me here!

-And my compensation.

-Compensation? For what?

-Do you want me to tell the whole market these are dodgy?

-OK, all right, thank you, Lola. Thank you.

Someone could have choked on one of those needles.

Oh, and my bet?

Thank you.

Boys.

Thank you, Billy. Brilliant.

110%

-He was totally humiliated!

-I didn't know he'd be here, did I?

-Where have you been hiding?

-I've been cleaning!

A man of God and you're parading your fancy man in front of him.

-He's not my fancy man.

-Hit and run merchant.

That poor man, comes all the way out of his way to see you

and you cast him aside like a pair of old socks.

I didn't cast him aside.

Oh, you was letting him down gently, was you?

I wasn't really seeing him, was I?

Under my roof!

Come on, she's a tramp.

-Cora Cross, wash your mouth out.

-I'm on your side!

This is my house. If anybody is going to question my sister's morality, it is me.

The Vicar is a respectable man.

You're just jealous.

How dare you!

I saw you dancing around him with your nightie on.

-I wasn't born yesterday.

-Take that back. I am a married woman.

She'll be after Jim an' all, if you're not careful!

Don't laugh at me. This is my own house!

Don't laugh at me in my own house!

Thought we could have a little chat.

Oh, look, they're all going to do this. What's the point?

-I don't know why I bother, really.

-Come on, they're only trees.

-We can sell them as firewood or something.

-Christmas logs.

Say they're from Lapland. Perfect for sleighs. Touched by elves.

Alfie, this is about the trees, innit?

Right lads. Think modern. Think style. Think Gok Wan. Think zhooshy.

Get some silver paint. We are going to spray these babies! Come on, boys, chop chop. Let's go.

I thought you would've known by now?

-You really are threatened, aren't you?

-Look, when I say stay away...

-You think I still want him?

I was bored. I was just winding you up.

I'm not going to tell anyone, am I? He was the one who chose to tell me.

The photos. The calls. They stop now.

It ain't me!

-The threats. The game's over, OK?

-Get your dirty hands off her.

You've got it so wrong, Shirl!

-I mean it. Five seconds and I'm calling the police.

-This is between me and her.

-I haven't a clue what's gone on...

-Just a misunderstanding.

..but this is my house and I've got a three year old here

-so find yourself another playground to fight in.

-I ain't going.

-You sure about that?

-This is nothing to do with you.

-If it's about my daughters...

then it's about me.

Just get out.

Never could fight your own battles, could you?

Nan!

Oh, look, five against one. Some people might say that's cheating.

-What's she doing here?

-She's just going.

-I ain't going anywhere.

-Now, this is my house. Mine!

That's my sister and my family. And YOU are a bully. And I don't do bullies.

Never have, never will. So if you think for a second - just one second -

that you can come barging in here and threaten any of us, throwing your weight around,

and playing your stupid little games, then you can think again.

Cos, believe me, right now, you do not want to push me.

This...

ends now. OK?

Thank you.

Put the kettle on, shall I?

She's chucked you out then?

You've got a week, Mum. And then you're gone.

-Fancy throwing her out like that.

-That woman was born in a sewer.

But it's me you're mad at. It's me that you're jealous of.

-I told you, I'm no such thing.

-I've seen the way you look at him.

Rose Elizabeth, you are a lady of easy virtue.

Do not tar the rest of us with your mucky brush.

If you can't forgive me for being happier than you,

I've only got one choice to make.

I've got to leave.

You know where the door is.

There you go. Cheers, darling.

-You all right? You been busy?

-You know me, darling. Busy busy.

-Ain't hardly seen you all day.

-That's why I'm back here now, make up for it.

You look fantastic. Kim, my little pumpkin,

can I get you something to tickle this with? And while I'm tickling you,

how do you fancy buying an exclusive silver Christmas tree?

-That was clever, that was.

-I was just having a laugh.

No, I mean it, though. You're a clever girl.

Bit more school, you know, you could go places.

You're just scared cos the teacher told you off.

I'm just trying to do the right thing.

I don't want to risk losing you again.

All right, I'll go back.

You mean that?

Trust me. I'm a good girl.

You are.

You got the purple one?

-It's just here.

-Oh, OK.

This one doesn't work.

Use that blue. There you go, try that one again.

Yes, it does.

-What had you done to her then?

-It was...

..silly.

So why did Grandma Dot throw you out?

Long story, darling.

-DOORBELL RINGS

-I'll get it.

Shirley told me. You know, about the calls.

And the photos and all that other stuff.

It's... It's nothing to worry about, all right?

-She said you think someone's out to get you.

-No-one's going to get anyone.

It ain't about... well, last week, is it?

Ben, it ain't about you, all right?

-And I'm sorting it.

-It's sorted.

Anything else?

No.

What have you done?

-That little skank ain't going to bother us again.

-I told you not to involved.

-We just had a little chat.

Too much time's passed. There's no witness, no evidence.

No-one's going to get us, Phil.

You and me...we're invincible.

It's over.

-RECORDING OF PHIL'S VOICE:

-'Do you seriously think I'm going to risk that again?'

-'You gave them to Kevin.'

-'Yeah, and look how he ended up.

'No more stolen cars, no more cut-and-shuts.

'What do you want to do? Get somebody else killed?

RECORDING PLAYS OVER AND OVER

-They called this afternoon.

-This isn't a good time.

-Nan and me thought we'd put some dinner on.

-Yeah, great. In a while, yeah?

-She's doing really great. Isn't she?

-I'm just checking in.

Why don't you give us five minutes?

-This is my decision.

-I don't think you understand.

-I understand everything.

-Go back to the hospital.

-What gives you the right to push everyone around?

You haven't been to a single radiotherapy or chemo session for the last two weeks.

Why, Tanya? Why have you stopped your treatment?

I'm still moving out.

Good.

Oh, don't forget your make-up.

It's all over the bathroom.

Oh, I thought I couldn't have those shoes cos you were skint?

That's it, there.

Lovely, innit, eh? All of us here together.

You do know it's November?

And it's SO tacky.

-You hate tacky.

-No, it's lovely.

You going to put lights on the front of the house as well?

Yep, all over it. Reindeer on the roof.

One of them great, big blow-up snowmen. The works.

When's it going to be back on?

You know what, I'll find someone else to pick Amy up.

-Jack, I'll have her.

-No.

No, we set up ground rules.

I'll take her to the park. She'll love it.

No, I'll find someone else. Responsible.

Yes, that's it. That's it. There's another one in there, too.

KNOCK ON DOOR

I'll get it.

-Abs, I said there's one under the stairs...

-I've got school.

It's not like it's Christmas tomorrow.

You know what daughters are like. Hormones.

I've arranged you an urgent appointment this afternoon.

-Right, well I'm busy this afternoon.

-Tanya...

I had to call in a favour.

So uncall it.

I'll ring 'em later.

Twice in two days?

Yeah, Dr Khan was just wondering if I had any work at the salon for Afia, that's all.

So he's out looking for work for his daughter

when he should be at the surgery?

No wonder the NHS is in such a state.

Come on, it'll only be an hour. The playgroup's got a power cut.

-I'm working! And I'm going out.

-You won't know she's here.

-Why not get her yourself?

-I'll tell them you'll be there in two minutes.

-Jack!

All right, Abs?

What do you want?

-Did you bring any cash with you?

-I'm meant to be at school.

Whose is...? Is that...?

Lola, are you pregnant?!

Abi, I'll need you to look after Amy for me in a few minutes, yeah?

No, I'm meant to be at school!

You better have brought some cash with you,

because I am starving.

Today's a three.

If this is about me and Alfie, we're fine.

We're just getting stressed out about Christmas, that's all.

You don't have to work, you know. Go back to bed if you want.

No.

Today, I'll beat it.

I'll be OK.

Not going in today?

The salon can run itself.

Did Doctor Khan really come round about his daughter?

-Yeah.

-Only you look like Death warmed up.

Well, I'm just tired, Mum, that's all.

You keep wiping them plates, you'll wipe the print off.

Put the cloth down.

Mum, honestly. I'm fine!

This "flu" of yours.

Well, there's been a lot going round, hasn't there?

Only it ain't flu, though, is it?

What, are you a doctor now, or...?

How much did you have to drink last night?

-That's none of your business, Mum!

-Come on, I've seen it all before with Rainie.

I know a drink problem when I see one.

Hello! Pot? Kettle?

Thought about where you're going to live yet?

-Right, change the subject.

-I said a week. Now it's six days.

-Nobody said it was easy, being on your own.

-I'm not joking.

Don't take it out on me. I'm trying.

You've got until the end of the week. Then you're gone.

Max, Greg, me.

You keep pushing everyone away, Tanya,

and one day there's going to be no-one left to push.

I don't have any extra hours, Rose.

Just another morning a week, Dr Khan?

-My little face, to brighten up your day?

-I'm sorry.

You see, I'm thinking of getting my own place,

-and London is so expensive.

-Rose, the work's not there.

And you're sure you're OK?

Scabs, it's just a baby.

-Coffee to take away?

-Yeah, yeah, please.

Um, he's going to find out.

Yeah, he can find out when I've finished my drink.

Hello, my baby.

How are you? Hello.

Auntie Carol said Uncle Jack said that...

She's my daughter, Abi.

Yeah. But if he finds out, then...

I'm not going to tell him, am I?

She IS her mum.

Come here, baby. Come to Mummy.

Oh, hello.

It's funny, I don't remember school looking like this.

Starts late today.

Staff training.

Lo, you promised me.

Yeah, and I'm going to go.

Bye, then.

All right.

Cheers, love.

How am I supposed to serve meals?

Lister said there was too many on the pavement.

He doesn't have to fight through a forest with a Sausage Surprise!

We're here to help you, aren't we? Me and Alfie. Together.

Yeah, see? Jean, why don't you go and have a lie down, yeah? Go on.

Why does everybody want me to lie down?

I don't want to lie down. If I wanted to lie down, I'd go and lie down

but I don't want to lie down because I'm trying to do a job

and I'd be able to do my job if I didn't have half of Epping Forest in the way!

We've run out of milk. I'm going to the shop.

-Jean, get me a scratchcard, will you?

-That is NOT in my job description.

Is it too early for a vodka?

No! It's never too early for a vodka.

You better get me one, while you're at it.

Of course! Why don't I get everyone a scratchcard?

Scratchcards!

Scratchcard, Alfie?

Scratchcard, Kat? I could put some mash potato on the top.

Little bit of gravy?

They're white, Alfie. I find that very, very scary.

ROXY LAUGHS

Look, I think maybe you should just...

OK, all right, OK, I'm going.

Oi, hand her over.

-Jack...

-Auntie Carol just asked me to help out.

I said, give her back. Come here.

All right?

What were you thinking?

-It's not Abi's fault.

-Yeah?

-I ask you to do one thing.

-She's just helping me out, OK?

-She can't stop who comes into the cafe.

-One little thing.

Come on, darling, I think that playgroup's open again now.

-Say bye.

-Bye.

-Bye, Daddy.

-Don't blame Abi. It was me, OK?

-Get out of my sight.

-She's my daughter!

Yeah? You should've noticed months ago.

-You've got no right to stop me seeing her.

-Yeah?

I'll see you in court.

That's right. Passing her round anyone that'll have her?

Cos that's really being responsible, isn't it?

You happy now?

-She was trying to help YOU!

-Yeah? I really trusted you, Abi.

You've let me down, ain't ya?

Abi!

But it says you've got vacancies at the B&B.

I forgot to flip it round, honey, sorry.

-Is anybody working?

-Dee's sick today, sugar lump. So you got me instead.

You shouldn't advertise if you've got no vacancies.

Oh, what, you and your sister fallen out? Me and Denise? All the time.

Could I pay for this milk, please? I have customers.

Yes, my love, you can.

All right.

That's it, Delia?

A scratchcard for Mo.

And a scratchcard for Mrs Cross.

I just needed some space.

How about one for you as well, Jean?

-I've got the lucky touch, lucky fingers.

-OK, OK!

OK, that's three pounds for the scratchcards. Thank you.

So, all this because of you and Pops?

Dot doesn't approve of pensioner jiggy?

Just one room for a couple of nights.

I can do you a scratchcard.

Oh, look, do you remember when you brought these home from playgroup?

Well, you probably don't.

There was more glitter on your face than there was on the cones.

What was Nan asking you?

She thinks I've got a drink problem.

Maybe...

Maybe you should tell her.

What, and have her tell half the Square?

But if she thinks that something's wrong...

No, Lauren, I don't need her. I've got you, haven't I?

Do you still speak to Siobhan?

Siobhan?

Yeah, Siobhan, she's doing well. Really well, yeah. She's going to go travelling.

We should do that when you finish.

Yeah. What like, Thelma and Louise? We just get in a car and go.

See, I knew we'd beat this.

My mum, the fighter. Yeah.

Yeah, it's going well. Really well.

Yeah, life's good, innit?

Oh, look.

Is there no school today?

Look, what I said... I'm sorry.

All right? It's just me and Roxy. It's hard.

It's not always to do with you, you know?

Yeah, well, I shouldn't have snapped at you.

You're a good kid, Abi.

It's all one big mess.

Mum's acting weird and she won't say what's wrong

and she thinks that I don't know but I know something's up, I'm not stupid.

Jay's always busy and Lauren...

all she does is go out drinking.

And Nan's been chucked out by Grandma Dot but Mum don't want her round

and Auntie Rainie's in some sort of trouble with Shirley, and Dad...

Dad's just disappeared.

And I'm just in the middle of it.

Invisible.

Abs, sweetheart.

My whole family.

Everything's falling apart.

Come here. Come here.

It's all right.

Jean, sweetheart, do us another couple of shepherd's pies?

Just a bit more shepherd this time, all right?

Hello? Jean?

I've won £8,000.

What?

-Carol put you up to this, did she?

-Tanya...

-Or was it my mum?

-No, I just saw Abi.

-Oh, Abi. Great(!)

She's worried you're not coping.

Sorry, Max leaves and nobody worries.

Nobody bothers to help. Nobody says anything.

-Yeah well, that's not true.

-I get drunk ONE night

and you're all running about like I'm some sort of charity case.

-Look, I know this must be hard for you.

-Do you?

Do you, Jack?

Why, cos I'm bringing up three kids on my own?

At least I still see my kids. All of them.

This isn't about me, is it?

Yeah, it's always about you.

What were you thinking, taking Roxy's kid off her?

What's Ronnie got to say about this?

You stopping her own sister from seeing her daughter.

-Have you got any idea what that feels like, Jack?

-Yeah.

Terrified you'll never see your kids again?

-You want to drop it?

-You've just remembered you've got a daughter!

All those months, "Oh, my baby's dead."

All along you had a little girl, did you think about her? Did you bother? No.

Yeah, well, that ain't fair, is it?

-What about the rest of your kids, eh?

-Tan, what's going on? This ain't you.

-Your other kids fled the country - that'll go down well in court(!)

-What's going on?

Your wife's banged up for child snatching.

-Oi, calm down.

-I'd make the most of my time with Amy.

Another court hearing coming up. Get ready to say goodbye.

-That's none of your business!

-No?

Well, my business seems to be everyone else's business round here.

It seems fair it works both ways.

Shall I spell this out in words of one syllable for you?

Make it easy for you, shall I?

I. Am. Fine!

Tell you what, Jean, if anyone deserves it, darling...

It's me. She ain't the one who's homeless, is she?

Cora, can we let it go, sweetheart? You want some bubbles, yeah?

-Bubbles?

-If I hadn't asked for one, you'd've won nothing!

Well, actually it was more Kim...

-Mo, bubbles, darlin'?

-I'd have shared it!

-Right(!)

-No, you wouldn't!

-Maybe I should share it.

-You ain't sharing nothing.

-No, keep it. Or you'll have us to answer to.

-Whose side are you on?

-She bought it.

-She won the money.

-End of story.

-Thank you.

-You had no right!

-She's 15.

-I remember. I was there.

-She's worried about you.

-No she's not. She's only worried about herself.

-Mum!

The world revolves around you.

Let me and your mum have a word...

I suppose she's tried to scab some money off you?

Get you to buy her shoes cos her cow of a mum won't pay.

-I didn't ask him for anything.

-You want those shoes, Abi?

Ask your dad to pay maintenance. You'd have to find him first.

-Tanya, come on.

-In fact, you want them so much,

why not get Jay to nick you some? The way you're heading, that's next on the list.

I hate you!

PHONE RINGS

DOOR SLAMS

You're fine, are you?

Shouldn't you be in court or something?

Tan, it's all right to admit you're missing Max.

You know, no matter what they done, love don't go away, does it?

You know, Ronnie won't see me.

I spent the whole morning with the solicitor trying to find a way to make her.

So, you're not the only one who's hurting.

Come here.

Phone for you.

Please just go, Jack.

-They won't say who they are.

-I'm not in.

-They're insistent.

Look, I'm here for you.

DOOR SLAMS

You heard her.

See ya.

Oi.

So this is double maths, is it?

I took an extra shift. I thought you'd be happy.

-Come on, we've been through this.

-Yeah, personal responsibility, blah, blah, blah.

Do you want me to let Ian down?

Want to work in a place like this your whole life?

No, and I ain't going back to school.

-How will you afford your rent?

-I'll get my own place and a load of benefits.

"Get your own place." Yeah, right.

No. They'll give me what I want.

I'm going to have a baby.

Yeah, course you are(!)

Swear down.

I'm pregnant.

Hey, Miss Fox, no flies on you, are there, sweetheart?

"Kimberley Fox, you're hired."

-It's a bit random, but...

-You knocking my lucky touch?

-Don't knock it till you try it.

-You don't know where he's been.

-Half the Square knows where HE'S been.

-And half the Square will never forget!

Do me a favour! Hey, Alfie, I called the Gazette.

-Shut up!

-Yeah, bit of free publicity.

Thank you very much. Yeah.

Oh, hello, my love, fancy a scratchcard?

Auntie Kim has got the lucky touch. Come, let me show you. Come on.

Rose?

Rose, what's the matter?

SHE SOBS

-Lola, will you listen to yourself?

-I'm keeping it!

-You haven't thought this through!

-I've never had anything of my own.

-Well, I'll buy you a goldfish then!

-You think I'm joking, don't you?

Come here.

It's a baby, Lola!

-A baby!

-Yeah, I know.

-I'll get a flat and then I'm just...

-No, no.

Wait, you're not going to get a flat.

They don't just give people flats any more.

-Yes, they do. Two girls from my home did it.

-This is not a game!

Didn't say it was, did I?

And it's not even about the money, the flat or anything like that.

You're 15 and you're pregnant!

And how old was you when you had my dad, eh?

What, you wish you never had him?

No. Of course I don't.

Wish you never gave him up?

-So whose is it?

-Mine.

-Who's the dad?

-I don't know.

-You must know.

-It doesn't matter.

-Is it Tyler? I seen him hanging round you yesterday.

Could be anyone's.

I'm your grandad!

Yeah.

You're going to be a great-grandad soon.

She's your sister.

My half-sister.

Your half-sister.

You know, we all say things we don't mean.

You know, I've got three brothers, two sisters.

We always row about something, fall out. It's what families do.

You don't know Rose.

She's always been the same.

These last few weeks, all I've done is prop people up.

I didn't come to you.

-No, I'm not saying that, Dot. We're not so different, you know?

-What?

-We're always there for other people, picking up the pieces.

-Oh.

And sometimes that gets lonely.

You know, sometimes... we want someone there for us.

Is that what you think?

You know, when I came back...

I hoped that, you know, Eddie would still be here.

-And you think that is how I feel about the vicar?

-No.

I don't. I meant Rose, all right?

Dad's in the home. You're lonely.

And right now, you need your sister.

You ready?

That stunt you pulled yesterday...

-Yeah, well, you did sell me a dodgy tree!

-Got to say...

I admire your style.

I can see it now - "Head Chef Wins Perfect Meal Ticket."

-He's trying to take my photograph!

-"Shopkeeper's Lucky Touch."

This is my moment!

Oi! I want a word with you.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-What are you doing?

Will you just let me have my moment!

I never get to have a moment!

Not a whole one!

-Come with me.

-Alfie, Kim, please!

CAMERA CLICKS

You got her pregnant!

-Pops!

-I got no-one pregnant!

What, you think I'd go near a kid like her?

-I ain't a kid!

-She's 15!

-Exactly, you ought to be ashamed of yourself!

-Listen, back off, old man.

Why did you tell him I got you pregnant?

-I didn't. He's got the wrong idea.

-Don't cover for him.

I ain't covering for no-one!

It ain't Tyler.

You really pregnant?

You happy now?

Yeah. Yeah, I couldn't be happier(!)

One day I think you're taking your life seriously,

the next, you're throwing it all away.

Mummy's a long time on the phone, ain't she?

Tanya?

Mrs Jessop?

Come in.

Rose?

I'm very sorry I embarrassed you.

With the vicar.

And Patrick.

-And?

-And I'm willing...

to forget all those horrible things you said to me.

Things I said?

I forgive you.

Good.

Well, I wouldn't like to part on bad terms, so...

you will give my love to Andrew, won't you?

Dot, we agreed!

I never agreed nothing, Carol.

I'm too busy to be lonely.

And in my humble opinion...

siblings are too much like hard work.

Even half-siblings.

You can collect the rest of your stuff tomorrow.

Come on, Rose.

Barrel's gone.

-Alfie...

-Huh?

I love you, you muppet.

Today...

Today is a nine.

No, actually, it's a nine and a half!

I know you think I'm throwing my life away, but I ain't.

Every time I think I'm doing right by you,

every time I think we're getting there...

You are doing right by me.

No, I'm not.

Lo, you're 15, you've stopped going to school.

You're pregnant. And you don't even know who the father is.

So? It doesn't matter.

-Yes, it does matter.

-Well, the baby don't need a dad.

It's got you.

Oh, hello.

Yeah, I let myself in.

Rose is in the front room. Dot's thrown her out.

You all right?

-No, I just had a run-in.

-Having a day of it, aren't you?

With Tanya.

You too?

I've never seen her like that before, she was crazy.

I mean, you got Abi worried.

Lauren's a mess. There's something not quite right here.

I tried to help her, she told me where to stick it.

-You know, Dot's right. It's too much like hard work.

-I'm serious, Carol.

I think we need to get hold of Max, tell him what's going on.

Yeah, and how are we going to do that? We don't even know where he is.

You know, don't you?

After all this time?

Look, he made me promise.

Why? Where is he?

Jack, where is he?

He's with Derek.

Just come inside and talk about it.

Don't give up the fight!

It's my decision.

Of course it is, but...

And can stop ringing my house, stop calling my doctor.

You're scared, I understand that.

Do you?

What do you understand? What exactly do you understand?

Cancer is a disease we can treat.

Right, like you treated my father?

I don't know your father.

Pumped him full of chemicals, like a load of dry cleaning.

It did him the world of good(!)

Or like you helped Siobhan.

I can only talk about your case.

That's all I am to you, isn't it?

Just another case.

Fighting this thing like it's some sort of noisy neighbour.

But it's not, is it? It's in...

It's in me. It's part of me.

-So how am I supposed to fight that?

-Just...

Let's talk in my office.

-Now, we've been trying to get hold of you for two weeks.

-No.

-You missed a number of sessions.

-There's no point.

There's no point. You can't do anything.

I'm not having any more treatment. I've had enough. My treatment's over.

I'm not sure you fully understand.

It's my decision.

You should respect it.

In stopping your treatment, there is a strong chance that you've made your prognosis worse.

There is even a possibility that the cancer could have already progressed.

Are you sure this is what you want?

Of course it isn't what I want. None of this is what I want.

Without treatment, you're highly likely to get worse.

And in my experience, there is a strong probability you may die.

It could be a year.

It could even be less.

You think I don't know that?

"You've got to fight this."

"Be brave."

"You can win."

Well, I'm not brave.

And I'm not strong.

And don't... Don't tell me to pull myself together, cos...

there's nothing left to pull.

I'm out of fight.

I've got no strength left.

I'm the one that's going through this, right?

I'm the one that this is happening to. Not you. Not anyone else.

So this is my choice, it's my life.

And I'm going to live what's left of it in whatever way I choose.

Are you sure she's related to Grandma Dot?

-KNOCKING

-Mum?

Yes, love?

You want to hurry up? There's other people in this family, you know!

No, I know, I won't be long.

Are you all right in there?

Yes. Course I am.

Rose Elizabeth Beauchamp?

It's got...character.

It's hideous. That's not a Christmas tree, it's a fire hazard.

-At least she's making an effort.

-Bathroom's free.

Mum, what are you doing?

Getting rid of this eyesore. What was you thinking, Tanya?

-Nothing wrong with making an effort, is there?

-That's what I said.

This is you making an effort?

I was worried it might be another example of you behaving... erratically.

-What do you mean, "erratically"?

-Sleeping all hours. Drinking too much.

Letting your kids run wild.

You're lecturing me?

I'm worried about you.

Well, I'm fine. My kids are fine.

The only thing "running wild" around here, Mum,

is your imagination, and the thing you should be worried about is finding somewhere to live.

Abi, what are you doing?

-Looking for money.

-For lunch. Yes. Right. How much do you need?

-20 quid.

-Are you still going on about those shoes?

Yeah, the sale ends today.

-I told you, no.

-Yeah, I got the message. See?

Do you think you're going to find 20 quid down the back of the sofa?

I would've borrowed it off Lauren except I don't know where she is. She didn't come home last night.

-I thought you knew?

-Well, as long as she's not running wild.

All right, Pops?

Nice threads.

You ain't got a tenner I could borrow, have you?

What for?

Er...lunch. I'm eating for two now, ain't I?

Lo, sorry. Skint. So's the kitty, before you ask.

Okey doke.

Lo...

Listen.

I want you to know that I'm here for you if you want to talk,

-you know, to...support you and that.

-Pops, I ain't telling you who the baby's father is.

-Why not?

-Cos it's none of your business. Besides, you'd only do something stupid like beat him up.

I swear I'm not going to beat anyone up.

Look, it doesn't matter. Cos I don't know who the baby's father is.

-I don't believe you.

-You're calling me a liar?

-How can you not know who the father is?

-So much for supporting me, eh?

Lola.

-Just leave it.

-Lo!

What do you think you're doing?

I'm showing you the evidence.

-Evidence of what?

-The injury I have suffered doing the job that your cleaner, Rose, was supposed to do.

-This isn't going to help.

-Dot's your sister. She needs you.

I can think of a few things that Dot needs.

-I'm not one of them.

-Well, we'll see.

Oh, good. I hoped it was you.

One moment.

What did I tell you?

If I've missed anything, I'll be sure to send it on to your forwarding address.

Goodbye.

You were saying?

Thanks, Whit. No, she hasn't seen her since nine o'clock last night.

She thinks she went clubbing with Anthony and Tyler.

-Clubbing? Well, that's a relief.

-Just going straight to voice mail.

Why didn't you tell us about this earlier?

It's not like it's the first time. She's doing it to get attention. And it's working. As usual.

She's got a point there.

PHONE RINGS

Lauren?!

How many times do I have to tell you, will you just stop calling me?

Just double glazing.

Mum? Calm down, yeah. Lauren'll...

-What are you still doing here? You should be at school.

-I wanted...

Abi, for goodness' sake!

If you want those shoes badly enough then you just find a way! Use your initiative for once in your life.

Abi...

PHONE RINGS

-Don't answer that.

-It might be Lauren.

Mu...

Hello?

Yeah.

OK, yeah, yeah.

What?

No, no.

That was Gaynor.

You're wanted at work.

I'm not going anywhere till I find my daughter.

Yes, you are. You're going to work to earn a living. I'll take Oscar to nursery. Rainie'll look for Lauren.

-Right?

-Of course.

-But I...

-No buts.

We're your family.

And we're going to help you whether you like it or not.

You need to get a grip, Tanya.

I'm not letting them run wild.

I don't why know you've come back here persisting, Carol.

I'm late for the launderette as it is.

I've said my piece and that is it.

-That's not like you, Dot. One word when a sermon will do.

-Ladies...

I've found that in this case actions speak louder than words.

I can see that. Packing me up and out of your life that quickly.

Enough! Listen to the pair of you!

You've found each other again and now you're going to throw it all away? Over what?

-Not what. Who.

-What d'you mean, who?

Oh, come on, Dot. You know it's all about Charlie. Always has been and always will be.

It's not about Charlie. It's about me trusting ya.

-Dot, Rose is your sister.

-I had a half-sister.

I know you disapprove of me, Dot.

But that doesn't change the fact that I'm still your sister.

I knew my half-sister as Rose Elizabeth Taylor.

Then she erroneously became Rose Cotton, having bigamously married my husband Charlie Cotton

while I was still his wife.

My sister did not have a passport, or so she told me.

And my sister's name was never "Rose Beauchamp."

So who this woman is, I ain't got the foggiest idea.

-You've been through my things?

-I've come up with more than I bargained for.

It's not what you think.

No, Rose. With you, it never is.

Rose?

Just wait!

Look, make sure she takes all her belongings with her.

I've got to go now.

A measly 20 quid, and she reckons she's skint.

-Maybe she is.

-Yeah, except for when she's getting bladdered with Lauren down the Vic.

While she barely has time for me. Why're you defending her, anyway?

I'm not. I'm just trying to see her side of things.

Don't.

All right.

-Well?

-Well, what?

-Have you got 20 quid or not?

-Did you ask?

-What do you think I've been doing for ten minutes?

-Complaining!

-Read between the lines, Jay.

-Actually, d'you know what, I'm skint as well.

You could have told me that ten minutes ago.

-What am I supposed to do now?

-I don't know. You heard your mum. Go and improvise.

You all right?

Yeah. No. I've got something of yours.

Ten quid? You can keep that.

Thanks, but no.

-Uncle Jack.

-All right? Does your mum know you're not at school?

-Cup of tea, please.

-All right, sexy. How's it going?

-Late for work. How are you?

Preggers. Give us a bit of toast.

Rose ain't here, I'm afraid. Didn't she show up for work?

Nah. First day and all. S'posed to be cleaning Ian's place.

Now Mandy's gone and chipped a nail scrubbing out a sink, she's started screaming blue murder.

-Talking about law suits. Oh, dear.

-Drink?

-Eh? Nah, I shouldn't.

-You look like you could use it.

-Go on, then.

Come on, Bill. What's the problem?

Is it that obvious?

-Frankly, you look like Eeyore without his Prozac.

-Cheers.

Is it work?

Janine?

No. It's...family troubles.

Lola? What's she done now?

I'm going to be a great-grandfather, Pat.

Oh, my God.

Anthony!

Anthony!

Carol? You seen Lauren?

Not since last night. Why? She not come home?

Nah, she ain't answering her phone neither.

-I'll let you know if I hear anything.

-Ta.

Tyler! Tyler!

-I'll need a receipt.

-Yeah, I heard you the first time.

-If Billy thinks I'm paying...

-Lauren. It's me.

-Give me a call me as soon as you get this.

-Should you not be focussing?

-It's called multi-tasking.

-You all right?

-Yes. Why wouldn't I be?

-I just saw Abi. She didn't look happy.

-She's a 15-year-old girl, Jack. She's never happy.

-About that multi-tasking...

All right, Tanya?

-The next person that asks me that...

-I heard Lauren's missing.

She's not "missing". She just hasn't come back yet. OK? If you don't mind...

She's multi-tasking... Ow!

PHONE RINGS

Lauren? Rainie? What you..?

Stay there. I'm coming. I'm coming.

-Er...

-Sorry.

Look what you've done! You've maimed me!

Can you come back, you mad bint!

Oh, I can't believe it!

Thing is, I'm trying to be grown-up about the whole thing,

but every time I think about it... Every time I think about some bloke being with my Lola, I want to...

Go round there and shout the odds?

I want to rip his scrawny little head off.

But I know that that's wrong and I've gotta rise above it.

That's good of you, Billy.

Maybe you could do it.

-I think my days of ripping heads off are long gone.

-No, I didn't mean...

I meant, maybe you could talk to Lola.

You know, woman to woman. About the responsibilities of having a baby.

That's a good one.

You're serious, ain't ya?

Me and Lola don't exactly get on. I don't think she'd want to hear it from me.

Now Julie's gone... Lola's got it into her head that this is all going to be easy.

That she can live it large off single mother's benefits.

She's not even 16, Pat.

You want me to explain that there are people that can help?

That there's no shame in asking for help.

I just think it'll be better coming from a woman.

It always is, Billy. It always is.

I knew I could count on you. Thanks, Pat.

Er... Oh!

You want to worry about something? Worry about that.

It was at Tyler's. Anthony heard her say she lost it. They thought it must be at the club.

The club they left without her. Why?

She stayed.

Alone?

No.

-Right. So, we don't know where my daughter is, who she's with or if she's all right.

-It could be worse.

-Really? How?

-A police car's just pulled up.

Is it Lauren? Is she OK?

-Who's Lauren?

-Lauren Branning. My daughter.

She told us her name was Abigail.

What do you know?

It got worse.

Abi now? And Lauren missing as well?

You gotta do something, Jack.

I already have.

RUMBLING

Tyler.

Tyler! The door!

That's not the door. It's roadworks.

Who are you?

Not Tyler.

Although I'm beginning to wish I was...

-Tyler?

-No.

Alfie.

Colder!

Phil.

-I've got morning sickness, you know!

-I give up, then.

-You ain't got 20 quid, have you?

-Oh, were we playing for money?

No. I could just use 20 quid.

Seeing as you asked straight out and no messing about.

Thank you.

Who else knows, then? I cannot wait to see Ben's face.

Whatever.

Come on, then. Who's the father?

No idea.

All right, Bill.

Jay.

Lo, you got a minute?

Depends. What's in it for me?

Me getting off your case for a bit.

Sold! See you later.

Laters.

There's no rush, is there?

Sorry, what?

There's no rush. Have some lunch or...whatever.

Thanks, but no.

Have you seen my bag?

My phone?

You lost it. Last night.

Remember?

Think it's probably best if I just get out of here.

You don't know where "here" is, do you?

Outta control.

I'm not out of control.

What's my name?

Can you just call me a cab, please?

What are you doing here?

Don't worry, Dot. I'm here to wash. Not to talk.

That'll make a change.

What's cooking?

A baby. In your belly, apparently.

Yeah, what's that got to do with you?

Billy asked me to talk to you, woman to woman.

OK, then.

Talk.

D'you want a drink?

-Pat!

-It's all right. It's all right. No. I shouldn't really.

But you'd like one?

Well, yeah. If I weren't pregnant.

So you do know you gotta make sacrifices?

Yeah, of course.

Good. Cos giving up drink is the easiest of 'em.

Having a baby is one big sacrifice after another.

It's the single biggest responsibility you will ever undertake.

The hardest, most painful,

most unrelenting thing you'll ever face in your life.

-And that's just the next nine months.

-Pat.

So you gotta be sure about this.

If you're not, there are options.

There are doctors who can help.

On the NHS, so it's clean and safe, not like it was in my day.

Pat!

What, are you saying you want me to have an abortion?