05/07/2014 EastEnders Omnibus

Ooh, no brown ones, that makes a change.

How're you feeling about today?

Bit embarrassed.

The last time I saw that consultant I ran off, do you remember?

He knows you weren't in the right head space.

-They going to give you a date for your operation today?

-Hope so.

If it's in a few weeks I'm going to ask Ian if I can get my job back.

You know, do a few extra shifts before I go in.

You shouldn't worry about work, you need to rest.

It's serving meals, not laying bricks.

Anyway, you shouldn't be baby-sitting me, you should be at the stall.

Mo's on the stall. I'm coming with you. It's important.

-Well, so is the stall.

-You can argue with me as much as you like,

I'm coming and that's that, all right?

Are you lot not up yet?

Shouldn't you be on the stall?

All right, sweetheart, just waiting for a delivery of new stock.

-I got Mo to set up.

-She's already covering for me and Bianca.

But it'll be here in a minute and once it is, I'll go sort it. Not a problem.

Where d'you get the money for the new stock?

Kat, listen, listen, listen... it's an investment, all right?

That was our last £70!

I know, but with what we've bought we're going to clean up.

But you ain't even sold the clothes you've got.

-Yes, but this ain't clothes.

-What have you done?

-OK, it's a surprise, but I found a gap in the market...

-Here we go.

No, it's going to dig us out of a hole.

HORN HONKS Oh, I've got to go. That's him now.

Listen, I'll talk to you later, sweetheart, all right?

Put your swollen ankles up.

Nice one. I don't like me eggs too runny.

It's for Tina. She needs to be on her game this morning.

She's got her performance meeting with Ian.

At least he hasn't sacked her.

She wouldn't be in this position if it wasn't for you.

Technically, I never asked her to help me.

I wanted to. If you can't help your family who can you help?

We should be concentrating on starting one of our own.

This could put a right spanner in the works.

It's going to be fine, all right? I've had a few days head start.

The caff is spotless, the takings are up.

Ian ain't daft. He knows when he's got it good.

Here you go. Don't say I'm not good to you.

Oh, I can't, I don't want to be late.

My meeting's first thing.

It won't go to waste, if you want to...

It'll be fine, all right?

Come to Daddy, you beauty!

You sure about this? £70 is a lot of dosh to spend on ice cream.

But it's not any old ice cream, all right?

According to Fat Elvis, it's only used the finest ingredients.

You won't get this in any supermarket.

-Morning.

-You all right?

-Yeah, how are you?

Good, thanks.

He's up to something. He's got that guilty look again.

He's all right. He always looks like that.

He can't even provide for his own family.

What woman would put up with a guy like that?

It was a long time ago.

Shouldn't you have cleared it with Vlad the inspector first?

I'll give him a bung if I have to.

As long as I get shot of this lot I won't have to, will we?

-As long as you know what you're doing.

-Yeah, it'll be fine.

Come on, let's have it.

So, what happened at Pride?

-Nothing really.

-Right.

So have they started giving you one of them now instead of a hand stamp?

You can still see this? I used Mum's cover stick.

That don't work. You want to use toothpaste.

-Does that work?

-No.

-SHE LAUGHS

-You going to see him again?

Oh, how was...um...

Pride?

Yeah.

It was good.

Good.

Please, don't tell me you're ringing Shirley again?

Ain't you got a swimming lesson to go to?

-Listen, have either of you two seen Shirley in the past couple of days?

-She ain't picking up.

Because she's probably off her nut and she's lost her phone.

It wouldn't be the first time, would it?

Maybe she's had an accident and she can't answer.

Oi, turn it in. She's fine.

-She'll be back for your birthday, wondering what all the fuss is about.

-You reckon?

She ain't going to want to miss out on a free booze, is she?

I got your message.

Yeah, sorry, I tried waking him up for work, but...

he's just been laying there.

You go off and do what you've got to do.

I'll look after him.

Thanks.

Stick it down there.

What did your last one die of?

I hope he's paying you.

Eh? Oh, no, just doing a mate a favour.

Couldn't do me one, could you? I'm looking for a big strong man.

If I see one I'll let you know.

Yeah, what do you want?

I just need a box of stock lifting.

I can't pay you either,

but I'm sure we could come to some sort of arrangement.

Yeah, I'm sure we can come to some sort of arrangement.

We'll sort it out.

Here, Teen. I've got a job lot of ice cream here,

-I thought Ian might want them for the caff?

-Maybe, what you got?

Your usual suspects.

Rum and raisin, mint chocolate chip, raspberry ripple. It's proper.

Nice, eh?

What's the matter?

Duck flavour?

I'll ask Ian, but somehow I don't think he's going to be interested.

Mo! Come here!

-What's wrong?

-What do you mean, what's wrong? Duck flavour?!

Stout flavour?! How could you have not known about this?

Fat Elvis just said he got it

from some fancy restaurant that went bust.

No wonder it went bust!

I've been stitched right up, ain't I?

Along with the right breast, we'll be removing the lymph nodes

in the armpit on that side.

After the operation, the nurse specialist will go through

some arm exercises with you.

It's important that we get the range of movement back

to how you were before the operation.

You'll have to look after the arm

and be careful not to lift anything too heavy on that side.

Again, the nurse will go through the dos and don'ts with you.

So what about the other breast?

Is it better to take that off so the cancer don't come back?

If you want a prophylactic mastectomy...

-Sorry, what is that?

-A precautionary.

It is available to you but by no means essential.

We could otherwise monitor the remaining breast with either

annual mammograms or possibly MRI scans.

And how long before I'm back to normal?

Everyone's different.

But the more extensive the surgery the longer the time to recuperate.

It could be anything up to six months,

especially if you had a reconstruction.

But it should be much less than that for you

as you are relatively fit to start with.

Now, whether you have the preventative surgery or not

is a big question.

I understand that you've been voicing your concerns with the nurse specialist?

We could arrange for you to spend more time with her, if you want?

Perhaps you'd like to talk it through with your daughter?

Yeah.

-Mmm, nice.

-Oh, go and have a shave.

-Oh, shut up.

-You shut up.

-So, this is the big surprise?

Duck flavour?

It's duck a la orange. It's gourmet.

Well, where's all the normal flavours?

-That's what I'd like to know.

-You didn't think to check?

Fat Elvis promised us various flavours.

-He didn't say what flavours though, did he?

-The bacon and egg ain't bad.

Here, have a taste.

I don't want none. Don't know what half of it is, do I?

-That's all right, that.

-Kat, you're pregnant. You eat kippers and plastic.

You could always flog it down your antenatal class.

Well, you got to think of something,

otherwise we'll be feeding it to the twins.

Whose going to buy any of this stuff? I mean, no-one.

Oh, come on. Don't let something like this hold you back?

The Alfie Moon I know can sell ice to the Eskimos.

I'm sure you can sell ice cream to Walford. I'll have one.

-See you later.

-See you later.

Right, you lucky lovely people,

to celebrate National Ice Cream Day we have the wonders of the Orient.

We have the delicacies of the Deep South,

we have the delicious flavours of darkest, deepest Africa...

Gourmet flavours that you can only dream about.

Come and try this, you lovely people.

Right, first of all I've got stout flavour. Try that.

What wants to try bacon and egg ice cream? Even barbecue flavour!

Seriously, you try that barbecue, sweetheart.

You, uh...

You think it's gone...

..and then when you... least expect it,

it just comes back and hits you straight between the eyes.

I had a dream about her last night.

It was so real.

When I woke up this morning I thought she was still here.

You know, I was just getting to the point

where I could wake up in the morning

and she wasn't the first thing on my mind.

When's this going to get any easier, Dad?

I don't know.

It's hard, I know.

OK, but you've...

..got to do something, OK?

You've got to get yourself out there.

It's the only way to get through the day.

I can't face it. I've got Luke out there covering the stall.

OK.

What are YOU going to do?

I don't know. Go back to bed?

Try again tomorrow?

It's not the answer, is it?

Peter, you need to do something to keep your mind busy.

OK? Stop you thinking. Something normal.

How about we cook lunch?

Oi. We're going to get through this together.

I know that having both off will reduce the odds of it coming back,

but I could walk out of here now and get hit by a bus.

What's the odds on that?

-I don't know, Mum. I just want you to get better.

-You heard him.

The bigger the surgery, the longer the recovery time.

I could be laid up for months.

Can you afford to take time off work and look after me?

This is not about the money. This is about your health.

I know. But we're struggling as it is.

And it just all adds up.

You've just got to get all that stuff out your head. Yeah? Let me worry about it.

You just concentrate on getting well again.

The quicker the better.

Right. I'm going to have what needs to be done just now.

And nothing else.

Are you sure that's the right thing? Why don't you just go back in

and tell the doctor you need a bit more time to think about it?

No, I don't need more time. My mind's made up.

All right. Whatever you want.

Shirley's missing. You heard from her?

No. Why would I?

-Thought you two might have made up.

-And I thought you two couldn't stand each other.

She's still your mum. I'd hate to think something might have happened.

I've been calling her all morning, but she ain't answering.

She might for you.

I said I'd sort things out between you two.

-Maybe it ain't too late?

-You're wasting your time.

I've not heard from her and I don't expect to either.

Shirley running off and coming back is how she gets attention.

Mick reckons she'll rock up for a free drink at my birthday.

-It's your birthday?

-Tomorrow.

Can't see how I'm going to enjoy it till I know she's all right.

Look, you're too nice a person to be worrying about the likes of her.

Don't give her the pleasure. You won't get any thanks for it.

You know what, you're right. If Shirley wants to act like a big kid, she can.

She ain't going to stop me enjoying myself.

Hey, you lovely ladies, one for the old man.

This is stout flavour - bit like aniseed to a dog.

Trust me, he'll be by your side for evermore.

And faithful, or I guarantee your money back. Fiver? There you go.

What's happening? You don't have a food licence.

-OK, what else have we got here.

-Stop this.

One for you as well, darling? There we go.

-That one's duck a la orange.

-I'm serious.

I'm on a roll here. Can't you see the place is buzzing?

I said you don't have a food licence.

I've got a few hours before this melts. Pretend you haven't seen me. Try that one. Curry flavour.

-You're going to like that one.

-Alfie, I can't keep doing this.

I see what you're doing - playing hardball?

I'll bung you 30 quid and we'll call it quits.

-Go on, try that one. Over here, sweetheart.

-OK.

-It's a nice one.

You can taste the bacon, can't you? It's lovely.

I'm issuing you with a written warning and a fixed penalty fine.

What are you talking about?

No, no, no! It's 90 quid! You're joking!

Make sure this is gone by the time I come back.

FOOTSTEPS

-Thought Mum was back.

-No, not yet.

What's Dad doing in there?

Same as you - hiding her presents in case she goes snooping around.

Don't see the point this year.

-Why?

-She's off on one about Shirl, I could probably leave this

under her nose and she wouldn't notice.

Dad reckons that won't last long.

-She'll be back soon. Where you going to hide it?

-Under my bed?

That's way too obvious. There's got to be somewhere she never goes.

Aha!

-Safe as houses.

-Yeah!

-Yeah.

Listen, Aleks. I was thinking maybe we could rip this up.

I'll bung you a little nifty 50 and we'll say no more? Eh?

I can't be seen to be bending the rules in front of the other traders.

Come on. Listen, cut me a bit of slack.

You know I've got a couple of hungry nippers on the way, eh?

If you'd come to me earlier

we could have arranged for a temporary food licence.

But as usual, you seem to think there's a rule for you

and another for everyone else.

I know. Listen, I'm sorry. I don't mean anything by it, you know?

It's just what I do, I'm a cheeky chappie. I can't help myself, can I?

That's no excuse, is it?

Last week, you were late with your fee,

then you had your friend working on the stall without a licence.

Where does it end?

Well, if you're going to hold that against me,

maybe I'll start shouting off my mouth about what I saw last week.

Are you threatening me?

-Who the hell do you think you are?

-I'm just saying...

You are going to move your foodstuff immediately or I'll have it confiscated.

And if you don't pay the fine by the end of the day,

don't bother coming back tomorrow. Yeah?

You know, I'm glad we can talk about Lucy and not be sad.

Yeah. Me too.

I sometimes feel that I need to talk about her, but I stop myself.

Seems to make other people uncomfortable.

I'm scared that if I don't talk about her, I'll forget her.

You won't. Not ever.

PHONE RINGS

You'd better get it. It's obviously important.

I won't be long.

Hi, Ian. I just wondered what was going on with my performance meeting?

It was meant to be first thing. Can you call me when you get this?

-What you doing?

-Listen, you've been with Aleks, a couple of months now?

-So how well do you know him?

-What?

-I mean, really know him?

I mean, no-one really knows much about him, only what he tells us, which ain't much.

You spend time with him - what's his story?

Alfie, I'm sorry, I thought we were putting stuff behind us.

-I thought we were moving on.

-Yes, we are.

-Really? Really?

Cos this is the happiest I've been since you tried to ruin my life

and you just can't stand it, can you?

What? I want you to be happy. I'm looking out for you. Just watch him. That's all.

From what I understand from last week, you're the one that needs watching.

What? No, no, no! That was a misunderstanding.

-Is that what you call it?

-That's nothing compared to what he's up to.

-Which is what?

-I don't know. Cos I haven't figured it out yet.

You're pathetic, Alfie. Pathetic. Right.

Why don't you just stop with the character assassination and grow up and move on?

You all right? How's it been?

Slow. Could be worse. You could be him.

-There you go.

-Cheers, thanks.

Oi!

It's all grubby. How am I supposed to sell that now?

You must be doing all right, paying Mo half a day to work on the stall?

What you doing, box of chocolates, nice bubble bath?

Been to the hospital with my mum. It's her consultation.

-She all right?

-Yeah. Just talking about the operation.

Well, she'll be back on her feet in no time then, won't she?

Look, if you want anything... anything...

-you know where I am, right?

-Yeah.

Will you PLEASE stop leaving me messages?

I just wondered what had happened. Was meant to be my performance meeting this morning.

Well, I've been busy.

So have I. I've been cleaning for days.

You could eat your dinner off that floor.

The fridge is stocked, deliveries checked,

this place... it's been running like clockwork.

I've even done the rota for next week.

You haven't emptied the bins. That looks filthy.

And Marie can't do the late shift on a Tuesday.

All right. I've had a rush on. I've been on my own.

Is something sticky on the floor?

I spilled a coffee. I'll deal with that. All right?

Now, what about my meeting?

Right, it's only going to take two seconds.

Last week your coat was on a shaky nail.

This week, the nail's broke.

-What?

-You're fired.

You can't. I need this job.

Why? Tina, you don't take it seriously.

After your performance last week and now this - I mean, look at it, it's a pigsty.

I need someone I can rely on and that person's clearly not you.

Go on, get your stuff and go.

-Yes, mate?

-Coffee, please.

-Yeah, sure.

And I'll have a tea, thanks.

I'm er...sorry about that.

Marie, it's me. Any chance you can get in here this afternoon?

Brilliant. Thanks.

Here you go. Every penny I made today. All there.

I hope you're happy, taking a man's wages off his family.

Next time, remember who's in charge.

PHONE RINGS

Yeah?

OK, I'll be right there.

Where you going?

-To sort out a problem.

-I need a receipt.

Then you'll have to wait until I come back.

All right?

Just waiting for a receipt, ain't I?

So why are you on Aleks' laptop?

OK, Tam, just hear me out.

The other day he was on his laptop talking to someone in Latvian.

When I came in, he couldn't close it quick enough.

When I mentioned it to him, he went off his nut.

-So?

-So, he's hiding something, isn't he?

If I can find out what it is, he can take this and shove it where the sun don't shine.

Tam, please, you must know what the password is, yeah?

Do you realise how insane you sound? If you get caught, you can wave goodbye to your stall.

Do you think I'd be doing this if I wasn't sure?

You know your way around computers. Please, help me out here.

Just get in there and do this for me, yeah? Please.

Telling people he looks at naked ladies is not going to help him

-waive your fine.

-I'm not talking about bums and boobs here.

You should have seen his reaction. it wasn't right.

-Come on!

-You're already out of chances with him. Don't make it worse.

Tam, trust me. I'm not imagining things. OK?

I've never been so sure about something in my whole life.

Please? I'm begging you. Do your magic, yeah? See what it is. Please.

HE SIGHS Ah, Tam.

Alright, thanks.

Dean's right. Why should I worry?

-Yeah. Shirl always comes back.

-You just concentrate on your birthday.

You are going to love the surprise I've got you.

Will you be all right if I go for a little lie down?

You all right?

-Got a bit of a headache.

-Yeah, she's got a bit of a headache.

-She's gone looking, ain't she?

-Listen, I'd lay money on it.

So do you need any help today?

-I don't, no.

-Are there ANY spare shifts going?

-Must have something, what with the football and that?

-I'm sorry.

Can you have a chat with Ian?

You get on with him well. Maybe you can get him to change his mind.

Teen, I love you. But you've made your bed.

I can't help you. I'm sorry.

But what am I supposed to say to Tosh?

The truth. What's the matter?

Anyone would think you were scared.

Shut up.

-SCREAMING

-What have you done?

Laid a little trap for Miss Marple up there.

Oh, you found Chuckie, then?

You know I hate clowns.

Well, I might've put a few more up to stop you snooping.

You haven't!

-Just give in, Mum. You'll never find out what the surprise is.

-There's still time.

Lovely little thing. Ain't he lovely, eh?

Oh, here we go, the man of the moment.

Let me get you a pint on the house.

Cheers. What's that for?

Just to say thank you for having a word with the old woman.

WHISTLING

Nik! Flipping Ada!

-What you doing here?

-I got a key, remember?

No, I mean sitting in the dark like a serial killer.

You know it helps me to think. I got a lot on my mind.

-You've come all the way over here just to sit in the dark and think?

-No. It's the Steves.

They said I was really annoying.

I'm not annoying. Am I?

No.

Tel, they're buying their own place.

I've got nowhere else to go.

Sorry, I took so long.

Had to get Marie in, in the end.

It's all right. We're just giving Lexi a bath, anyway.

-Turned into a bit of a water fight.

-Yeah, I can see.

I just wanted to make sure you were all right.

Yeah, I'm doing a lot better. Thanks, Dad.

< Peter! Peter, come have a look at Lexi. Look what she's doing.

-I should...

-Yeah. Go on.

< What's that?

Mum, is everything all right with Nan?

Yeah. It's just me. I'm just being silly. That's all.

What happened at the hospital?

Nothing. The consultant just talked about the operation, that's all.

-And is she going to be all right?

-Yeah, yeah. She'll be fine.

-Look, I know when you're lying.

-Liam!

-Look, there's something wrong.

-There ain't. There's nothing wrong.

I don't believe you.

I'm not a kid any more, Mum. All right? Just tell me what it is.

Stop worrying. All right? There's nothing wrong.

No. Look, if you don't tell me, I will ask Nan.

Look, this is not your nan. All right? It's me.

I've done something stupid.

Ian knows he's got it good, does he?

-Is that why he sacked you?

-I just caught him at a bad time.

And Mick wasn't much help. So much for looking out for family.

Don't worry, I'll find another job.

-We'll get the money for the treatment from somewhere.

-I don't think you're getting this.

Cos apart from the Vic, I don't think you've got a lot of choices left, have you?

Aunt Babe? It's me. It's Teen.

You know that little job you mentioned a while back?

Is it still going?

Dig us out of this hole, you said. And look what we end up with.

No money, a 90 quid fine, and a load of dodgy ice cream

melting in the kitchen and Vlad out to get us.

It'll be all right. I'll think of something.

-DOORBELL

-Like you did today? Save us the bother, yeah?

-All right?

-Is Alfie in?

Lord Sugar? Yeah, he's in there.

Tam? All right?

What you said earlier got me thinking. I got into Aleks' laptop.

Pretty generic password. Wasn't hard.

-And?

-I read his messages.

The person he's talking to in Latvia...

is his wife.

If I had known, I'd have treated myself to some nicer undies

while I still had the chance.

I might do a little bit of housework today.

-Then get something in for tea.

-No, you don't.

The only thing you'll be lifting is the TV remote.

PHONE RINGS

They're still calling. You can't just ignore this, Mum!

Listen...

-I'm handling it, all right?

-I think we should tell Nan.

-No!

You can't breathe a word of it to her.

She's got enough on her plate, ain't she? Just trust me, yeah?

HE SNORTS Did you just do that?

Hm? I don't know what you mean.

HE SNORTS Seriously?!

Come on, there's only one pig at this table and that's you - the sexist one!

Hey. I was only joking.

I like the way you eat. It's refreshing.

-Refreshing?

-Charming.

How do the girls in Latvia eat?

-Like chipmunks.

-Seriously, come on.

How am I so different from the girls in Latvia?

You're far more beautiful.

Why don't you ever talk about your home? About your mum and dad?

Because you're more interesting.

-And charming?

-Yeah.

Tina, great. I'm glad you're here. I need you to work.

You need to see a doctor, Ian. You sacked me.

-Maybe I was a little bit hasty.

-Has Marie called in sick?

Tina, please, I really need you to work.

-No can do. Sorry.

-Why not?

Cos I've got myself a new job -

one that don't involve greasy plates, rude customers

and my feet throbbing like there's a techno beat in my trainers.

-All right. I'll give you a pay rise?

-50p an hour.

-Deal.

2.50.

Now...

A very simple question - would Madame like her croissants

before or after her birthday present?

After. Definitely after.

You better unwrap it, then.

Mum...? Oh!

-RADIO VOLUME INCREASES

-It's not normal.

I don't know anyone whose parents fancy each other as much as they do.

-Yeah, but how many of our mates' parents are actually still together?

-I know! Think of the mental scars.

-Exactly, that's why we're lucky.

-No. I'm talking about our mental scars.

-PHONE BEEPS

Who's it from?

No-one. Whitney.

Oh, the boy you met at Pride - was he called Whitney and all?

-Morning.

-All right.

-Tracey let me in. Where's your mum?

She's, er, having a...lie-in.

-You deaf or something?

-No.

-That's exactly the problem.

Did you buy a birthday card?

-Yeah.

-You can leave it here if you like.

Nah, I want to give it to her myself.

-See you later.

-OK.

-LINDA:

-Aw, Mick!

-MICK: Happy birthday, baby.

Don't suppose you've got the hairdryer, have you?

No, but I've got straighteners.

I can't even remember you with hair now.

Well, it was before the last ice age.

-You are funny sometimes.

-Thanks.

Try under Rosie's bed.

Hairdryer.

Nik...

Look, I know you're in a bit of a spot at the moment and

I wouldn't want to see you homeless or nothing like that, but...

Don't worry yourself, Tel, I've got an interview for a flat-share later.

Flat-share? Bit old for that, ain't you?

-Charming!

-I didn't mean it like that...

I just don't want to see you living with strangers.

Got no choice, have I?

TV TURNS ON

TV TURNS OFF

So, look, I got these cut for you.

You officially asking me to move in with you?

No, you plank. You know, you stay over most nights.

I just thought it would make more sense, that's all.

But if you're going to get weird on me...

I am very honoured. Seriously.

-Come here, come here.

-SHE LAUGHS

Have you thought about what you're going to do yet?

No, she won't let me nowhere near her to say anything.

Whereas someone who wasn't briefly married to her...

-No.

-Tam. Please? Come on. I wouldn't say nothing if it wasn't important.

Look at him. He's a slimeball.

I can't have her heart broken again. Come on.

Cora said you were off.

I'm going shopping - just wondered if you want me to get you anything.

Oh, sorry, I didn't know you had company.

It's very kind of you, Carol, but I'm perfectly capable

-of getting me own provisions, thank you very much.

-She's offering.

How many times do I have to tell you, Charlie? I am not ill.

I wouldn't dream of saying you were.

I thought I had one of me migraines coming on, but it's gone off.

Seeing as you've got the day off,

-what's the harm in putting your feet up and chilling out?

-Chill out?

I'm putting the kettle on. Anyone want a cup of tea?

-What you doing?

-Nothing.

As if I'd... Gross.

Do you want something?

If you knew something bad about someone

who otherwise seems like a decent person,

would you tell the person

that person was going out with or stay out of it?

I'm too hungry for this.

-Cheers.

-Hi, Tosh, it's me. Guess what?

I just got my job back!

So, do you love me again or what?

I'll show you what I'm doing so you know for next time.

Nah, don't bother. I'm rubbish at that sort of thing anyway.

I thought women were supposed to be independent these days.

Oi, Phil, so apparently in Latvia they have a name day,

which is like a birthday, but to celebrate your name!

Fascinating.

So, I'm thinking we start on Oxford Street...

Oh, hang on, Mum, Mick's looking at me funny.

Just window shopping.

..then we work our way up to...

What?

I know Sue's going through it,

but at the end of the day it is just a cat.

It's not like her husband's died, is it?

Well, how was I to know her husband's left her?

Yeah, all right.

Fine. We can do it next week instead.

All right. Thanks, Mum. Bye.

She's stood me up. She's only known this Sue six months.

-I've been her daughter for 37 years!

-Aw, diddums.

It's all right. Nance'll go with you.

-Will you?

-Yeah.

Course I will, Mum.

-Aw.

-She's so lovely, ain't she?

Hello, Aunt Babe, it's me.

Listen, I was wondering if you could get a move on with that package.

What's the matter with keen?

I reckon I've got a nice little angle here at the cafe.

Cos I got my job back and everything, yeah.

I can do subtle.

Listen, "Tea, sir? Certainly, sir. Fancy a herbal and all?"

Listen, I got to go. Ian'll be back in a minute.

I just wanted you to know I'm ready and raring to go. All right.

Nice one. Got to go.

-What can I get you? Sticky bun?

-No.

-You're not on a diet, are you? You'll snap.

-It's Ramadan.

What's that? Where you don't eat for, like, a month?

No. That would be physically impossible.

-You don't eat during the day.

-What you doing in here, then?

-ALFIE:

-Tam. I'm here. Come here.

Good lad.

Sit down. Do you want anything? Do you want a muffin?

-No, I've already told you.

-OK, just hear me out.

-I know Roxy can be a bit of a...

-Psycho.

Loudmouth. But she's a pussycat, really.

What I need you to do is go up to her, blurt it out and run.

-I'll do the rest.

-Run? Why do I have to run?

-Well, in case she turns a bit...

-Psycho?

I thought you said she was a pussycat.

She is. She's got sharp claws - that's all.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Listen, mate, I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.

Right, I'd better get to work.

Yes. You don't want them giving you your cards.

-I'll call in on my way home, all right?

-You don't have to.

How are you feeling?

Fine. I'm fine.

-Have you finished with that nasty old chemo?

-Yeah.

-When are you having your operation?

-I don't know exactly.

-But you are having it?

-Yeah, course.

Cos I know you'll be a bit scared.

It's the final stage of a really unpleasant process,

but it's good cos it means I'm nearly at the finishing line.

Anyway, I'm just having the one off.

Oh. Really?

Ah, Tamwar. Good.

Can you help me find some of that weird bread that Aleks eats?

It's a Polish shop, so...

So?

Wait.

There's something about Aleks you should know.

Did Alfie put you up to this?

No, I just...

He likes sauerkraut as well.

I mean, what do Bianca and Sonia say about it?

-About what?

-Come on, Carol.

They support me. You know, they've been fantastic through all this.

In a funny way, it's made us closer.

Well, you'll want to be around for them as long as you can, won't you, Carol?

Now, don't think I'm judging you.

I just don't want to see you making the wrong decision.

Neither do I.

But, you know, Sonia and Bianca - they've got their own lives

and I'm proud of that.

You're not thinking of giving up, are you?

Course not. Of course not, but it's complicated, Dot.

Yes, well, if I'd died when I was your age with mine,

I wouldn't have met your father.

Nor Charlie, nor Arthur.

I mean, you could have years of life ahead of you, Carol.

Bit near the railway track, innit?

You're such a softie, worrying about me like this.

Don't be stupid.

-That must be them.

-All right, go on, then. Good luck.

Now, that's what I'd call being mugged off.

-Eh? Oh, no, no, that's my ex-wife.

-Cheat on you, did she?

How do you know it weren't the other way around?

-Yeah, but it wasn't, though, was it?

-Cheeky, ain't you?

To be honest with you, it was a lucky escape -

high-maintenance women ain't my thing.

Well...see you, then.

Will you promise to try on a dress?

I won't make you buy it, I just want to see what it looks like

and maybe take a photo on my phone - just one. NANCY GROANS

Oh, please, Nance, it is my birthday.

Fine! I'm definitely not letting you take a photo, though.

Hey. Glad I bumped into you. Happy birthday.

-Aw!

-Oh, you silly. You didn't need to get me a card.

Ah, lovely. Thanks. I'll pop in next week.

That's cool, although what're you up to now?

I've just had a cancellation.

That's a good idea, ain't it?

-Well, I would, but me and Nance have got plans, ain't we?

-I'm fine.

Every woman deserves to feel like a princess on her birthday.

Exactly.

Oh, all right, then.

But don't think I can't see straight through you, Nancy Carter.

Happy birthday. Mwah!

-Bye, baby girl.

-See you.

-This way.

-Oh, thank you.

Yes!

Look, I've already told you, she's not going to be home today.

-Well, how long is she going to be, then?

-Sorry, who are you?

-Look, please, just go.

-Liam?

-Bianca Butcher?

No, I'm her mother. Why?

-But you live here, right?

-Yeah. What's going on?

Hang on, I've got the mother here. Two secs.

We've been trying to get hold of your daughter.

-Will you just have a word with them?

-Why? What?

-Please, listen.

Hello. Who is this?

Loan company? No, we don't owe any money.

Rox, Rox, Rox, just hear me out.

I'm not going anywhere till you do.

You might as well hear what I've got to say. Please.

Whose birthday?

It's Aleks's name day. It's a Latvian thing.

Well, get on with it, then.

Rox, I'm only here because I care, all right?

You're a special girl

-and you deserve someone who's going to appreciate that.

-Oh, sorry,

-I was just a bit sick in my mouth there.

-And it was never me, but it's certainly not Aleks either.

I don't know what's going on with you and Kat, Alfie, but you're starting to look pathetic.

-Want me to get rid?

-No, it's all right. I can deal with him.

I'm not here to stir up anything.

-Roxy, you need to know the truth.

-All right. Which is what?

That Aleks has got a wife back home.

-Course he has(!)

-No, listen, I'm not lying to you, Roxy.

If you don't believe me, ask Tamwar - he found a load of e-mails and pictures on his computer.

Look, just because...

Just because you treated me like dirt does not mean every other man is going to do the same.

OK. Now, I have moved on. I suggest you deal with it.

-Close the door on your way out.

-Phil, I swear to you.

-You heard her.

-You OK?

-Yeah. He's a loser anyway.

-DOOR OPENS BIANCA:

-What's the matter?

I ain't really got time to come home at lunchtimes.

Liam's told me everything.

Only because the loan company have sent a lackey round with

a mobile phone because you've been ignoring their calls.

So you want to take the sand out of your ears,

cos we've got to pay them 350 quid by tomorrow.

I'm sorry, all right?

-Only you could make the same mistake again, Bianca.

-No, it hasn't

exactly been easy. Dad went off and left us high and dry

and you was in the middle of your chemo, but the bills don't just stop coming in.

I didn't want you to have to worry about it.

All right, we'll sort it.

Look, I've got some new stock coming in on my stall.

I've made 35 quid today already.

-Where are you going?

-Going to ask Ian for my job back.

The pittance I get from benefits isn't going to cut it.

-You can't do that - you're not well.

-I'll be fine.

I'll have to be.

So, what do you think of the place?

It's very...trendy.

Makes me feel old.

Don't be so daft. You fit right in.

So, what shall we do?

I don't know. I wouldn't want to be unfaithful.

Unfaithful?

It's just I've been going to Mario for 12 years and he would know

in a second if anyone else laid a finger on my hair.

No, I completely understand.

Why don't I give you a nice shampoo and blow dry, eh?

-Perfect.

-Step this way.

Oh, don't you have a girl for that?

Told you, Linda, you're getting the VIP treatment all the way.

Carol, I would, but I've just taken Tina back.

I wouldn't ask, Ian, but I'm desperate.

Bianca's taken out a loan and we're up to our necks.

-Go on, then.

-What? Now?

Yeah, grab your apron.

Oh, right. Er...where do you want me?

Dishes or customers. Your choice.

Oh, er...

..dishes.

She's going to think it's a cop-out, you know.

When you've been with your mother as long as I have,

surprises are in very short supply.

I don't know. As far as relationships go, you two set the bar pretty high.

It's almost intimidating.

Is this anything to do with the, er...

vampire bite on your neck?

So, go on. What's he like?

Don't know. I've only met him the once.

So meet him again.

Don't get me wrong - I love your mother with all my heart,

but getting together with her so young -

a whole lot of life we missed out on.

You get to have all that. Don't be scared.

All right? Oh, please, don't tell me

you sent your mother up Oxford Street on her jack, please?

No, we're not going. She's in Blades having her hair done.

-You've got competition.

-Who, me?

No, Sausage Boy. Dean's bidding for surrogate son of the year.

Oh, you jealous?

That's the thing with Nance -

she's just not interested in her appearance. Even as a little girl,

I'd try and get her in cute dresses but she'd just yank 'em off and

-walk around in her vest and pants no matter what the weather was like.

-Linda?

-Yeah?

Do me a favour - close your eyes and take a deep breath.

-Sorry. Am I banging on?

-I just want you to relax.

-Nice?

-Hm.

-Ta-da! Happy name day.

-How do you know about name day?

Because I'm not just a pretty face. Make a wish.

Or is that something we just do here?

Yay!

Sit.

Sit!

Now, I have got sauerkraut

and I have got the weird bread you're always banging on about.

That's, er, very sweet. Unexpected.

You know, it's not my name day today.

Yes, I know - it's the 17th - but I wanted to do something nice

for you and it is the right month, isn't it?

It's not Latvian bread.

Right, you know what? I was just trying to get to know you better, but I shouldn't have bothered.

Roxy. Roxy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean...

It's lovely, really. Cheers.

Cheers.

How is this ever going to work?

I'm a loudmouth Londoner.

You are from a country where they eat pickled bleedin' cabbage.

Why does that matter?

Because there's all these things about you I don't know.

There's all these blanks.

Fire away. Shoot.

OK. Did your mum make you a cake back home?

Yeah, sure. Biezpienmaize. Kind of a cheesecake.

-Delicious.

-Girlfriends?

Girlfriends?

You must have had some before you came here.

-Nothing serious.

-You never wanted to settle down?

-Have kids?

-I never met the right person.

Until now.

So we're serious, are we?

I think so.

Don't you?

Hey, I don't think we're very different.

Now, how about I pop out and get us

a nice bottle of wine to wash this lovely cake down with?

There's one right here.

Yeah, I know. I was thinking of something with...

a bit more body. Yeah?

Lovely, thank you.

-Could I have some help?

-Yeah, one sec.

You all right?

-What's up?

-They've given the room to someone else.

-You're joking?

-Lucky escape. Place was a dump.

Well, let's celebrate that news with a nice pint of beer.

Tel, am I all right to stay another night at yours?

Yeah, course you can! Come on.

Get out!

Get out before I do something I live to regret! Go on.

How dare you!

High-five, Mrs J!

LINDA SHRIEKS

Private members' area for Mrs Carter and family.

Here we go, sit yourself down there, baby. There we go.

Now, your surprise has been slightly delayed.

What?

I just need you to be slightly patient.

It'll be here at the weekend, I promise you.

This is getting to be a habit, Mr Carter.

-You remember Valentine's day?

-Yeah...

-Madame?

-Yes, please.

They thought I was too old.

No, they probably just went for another bloke, didn't they?

Tel, they asked me if I liked Foals.

I said, "Yeah, they're really sweet, but I'm not really a horsey person."

They're talking about the band, you wally.

I know. I looked 'em up on my phone when I left.

Tel, when did I stop being cool?

Well, to be fair, your taste in music's never been the best, has it?

Yeah, it has. I liked Lauryn Hill and...

Yeah, S Club 7, Steps, Westlife...

Oi! Never complained at the time.

Well, must've been in love, mustn't I?

All right, Trace. I'll have a lovely pint of lager, please.

-And white wine?

-Yeah, please, Trace.

-Thanks.

Roxy?

Tamwar. Oi, take me to your office.

-Excuse me?

-I want to see them.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Stop messing about and show me the photos.

Excuse me? Hello?

You can't just charge over here making demands -

-we're getting ready for iftar.

-If what?

-Exactly.

I must warn you that I am very hungry

and when that happens I can be violent.

Well, I've just found out that my boyfriend may have a secret wife

and that tends to make me violent, too.

I'm sorry, but what does that have to do with my brother?

Because apparently your brother has evidence on a computer in his office.

Don't you?

Yeah, well, come on, then, Tamwar, show the woman.

Your ex powdering her nose, is she? Might as well get comfortable - we could be here days.

Hey, leave it out. She ain't a total bimbo.

-You're the one that said she was high-maintenance.

-Yeah, but I was just joking, weren't I?

She's actually quite a laugh when you get to know her.

-Why don't you come and join us?

-No, I'm all right here, thanks.

Suit yourself.

Got us a table, didn't I?

-Why did I do it?

-What?

Let go of the kindest, most decent man I've ever met?

-I'd like to meet him.

-Tel, I'm serious.

How much have you had to drink?

Ain't you even a little bit tempted? Try again?

-There we go.

-Oi, Dean.

Want a word with you.

Showing me up with a pampering session with my old woman.

And she loved it by the sound of it. Sit yourself down.

Oh, I don't want to gate-crash.

No, L, tell him, he's family now.

Course he is. Sit down.

Your mum, she's still AWOL.

Well, I'm staying out of it. Johnny, get another chair.

-Long day, eh?

-Yeah.

Especially as I was doing most of the work

while you sat around chatting to customers.

And what's my reward? 25 measly quid.

Same story my whole life - one big hamster wheel,

round and round till you drop off.

-Sorry, I've had a day of it.

-Maybe you've come back too soon.

I don't have a choice.

I heard you talking about money problems earlier.

Look, if I let you in on a secret, will you promise not to tell anyone?

-What secret?

-The only reason I'm saying it is

cos I know that your family's in trouble.

-Mine too - that's the only reason I'm doing it.

-Doing what?

The reason I've been a bit slow today...

..is because I'm doing a bit of business on the side.

That's how much I earned.

You interested in coming in?

In on what?

Selling weed.

DOORBELL

SHE COUGHS

-Oh, thank goodness you're up.

-Tina! What are you doing?

-Have you got a minute?

-No, I'm not, I'm busy.

-I really need to speak to you.

-Shhh! The kids are still asleep. Come on.

Just doing some housekeeping. What do you want?

I need to talk to you about last night.

-I don't want to go through all that again.

-Yeah...

I've told you, I do not want to get involved in your drug deal.

I know. I know it's ridiculous,

and it's criminal and we ain't in Breaking Bad.

And...?

Well, I realised that you were right.

-That's what I come to tell you.

-Really?

Yeah. And I've taken Aunt Babe her stash back.

Bit early, ain't it?

Yeah, I was just going through shifts with your mum.

-But we're sorted now, yeah?

-Yeah, we are. All right.

-All right, see you later.

-See you at the grease pit.

Yeah. Right, that's 16-odd quid in coins.

I should have some more upstairs somewhere.

Oh! Even when Amy's at her dad's, I can't get a lie-in.

You should have stayed at mine.

I'm sure I could have convinced you to stay in bed.

Hmm. Not keen.

I'm sorry.

-Did I do something wrong?

-Like what?

You tell me.

My favourite girl.

Makes it sound like you've got others.

It's a figure of speech. What's the matter with you?

-Roxy?

-No, no, no, no, you're right, you're right, you're right. Look.

You're right. I have been off. And it's not fair on you, is it?

I can handle it.

Tell you what, you come over tonight, OK, and I'm going to make it up to you.

Tonight is going to be all about YOU.

-Give you something to look forward to.

-I can't wait.

Me neither.

-I'll see you tonight, then.

-OK.

Oi.

Hey. Are you busy later?

Here's the 35 quid there from the stall. That should bump it up a bit.

-What? I had a quiet afternoon, didn't I?

-Well, it's nowhere near 350, though, is it?

-Closer than that two quid, innit?

-Bickering's not going to get us anywhere, is it?

-I've got a few quid.

-No, it's all right, Whit.

No! Look, we ain't got nowhere near enough money for the bailiffs. Sorry, Whit.

I live here, don't I?

KNOCK ON DOOR

Don't let them people in, because the minute you let them

in your house, they just take whatever they want.

I know what I'm doing. Just let me handle it, Bianca.

-Sort the kids out for me, Whit, yeah?

-Yeah, course.

Kids, can you start getting ready, please? Breakfast in ten.

Right, I want proof of identity and breakdown of charges.

We've sent you plenty.

No breakdown, no payments.

-No payment, I begin to dispossess.

-It don't matter. Here. Take this.

-All right, we'll get more tomorrow.

-I'm here today.

Where do you get off? We are trying our best here!

If you let me in, we can sort this out immediately.

What difference would a few more hours make to you?

-I can see through your curtains you've got a wide-screen TV.

-Back off, cos you're not coming in.

Now, we'll get the money. We just need more time. Oh...God!

Mum, are you all right?

-Look, if we can just go inside...

-Just lay off, all right? Can't you see she's sick?

She's got cancer, and you're just standing there, threatening us!

-Bianca!

-No! She's had to give up work. That's why we're in this mess in the first place.

Tell him.

-Here.

-I've started work again.

Look, it's a touching sob story, love, but I still need the money.

OK, you can have the end of the day for your efforts.

-What have you done now?

-Shut up, Sonia!

Oh, mate. I feel like I've been beaten up.

-Anyone would be tired after that much action.

-You what?

You don't remember? That's a shame.

-I thought I'd made an impression.

-How drunk was I?

Well, we came back here and I showed you how flexible hot yoga's made me.

You said you liked the downward dog.

I don't remember that at all.

No? I could remind you, if you wanted.

Well, the kids are here, ain't they?

I'm kidding. We came back here and you was crashed out.

Drooling on yourself by 11.

Bet I still looked sexy though, didn't I?

Oh, I love waking up like this.

Mmm.

All of the good and none of the bad.

Maybe we've grown out of the bad. Gone for good.

Like your hair.

Do you remember any of what we spoke about last night?

Yeah. Yeah, about getting back together and trying again.

I don't want to push you. Just think about it, yeah?

Right, I gotta go. Them overpacked cases won't weigh themselves.

See you later.

Sorry!

-See you later.

-See you later. HE GROANS

The last thing Mum needs right now are bailiffs at the doorstep.

-It ain't exactly enjoyable for any of us, is it?

-How has this happened?

Like I said, Mum stopped working and we needed more money. Simple.

So you took out loans?

-Bianca!

-I didn't know what else to do, did I?

-Haven't you learnt from last time?

-Shut up, Sonia. Don't start bringing that up.

-Bianca, you keep making the same mistake and expecting other people to bail you out.

-No, I don't.

-You know, this is all starting to make sense now.

-What are you talking about?

-This is why Mum's having the single mastectomy, isn't it?

-What has that got to do with anything?

She's having it because the recovery time is shorter and she don't want to spend as long in hospital.

-And is that what she wants, or what you want?

-WHAT do you mean?

You didn't even try and persuade her, did you?

This is HER decision, Sonia.

Yeah, well, it suits you, doesn't it, eh?

So she can get better quicker, so she can help you out with your mess.

-Like she's doing now.

-You do not know what you are talking about,

so I am just going to go to work.

I don't want any of you to worry, all right?

Yeah, but there must be something we can do to help?

Well, I'm not going to work today. I'm going to help Bianca on the stall.

No. It's all right. Me and your mum are going to sort this out between us.

-I really want to do something to help.

-All right, you can get Tiff moving and take Morgan to school.

That would be the biggest help of all.

These must be worth lots.

You're not giving away your stuff, Morgan.

Yeah, look. Auntie Janine got me these. They might be worth a bit.

Liam, no. None of you are going to give away your things, OK?

But is Mum going to go back to prison?

Of course she's not, darling.

Listen, I'm going to give away most of my stuff,

before I give up any of yours. OK?

Come on you two, school.

-I'll see you later.

-See you later.

See ya.

Tiff, hurry up, please. We're going now.

Lovely, thank you, sweetheart. Nice. You all right?

-Shouldn't you be up west, squeezing the dosh out of tourists?

-No, I took the day off.

You don't look too good.

I feel rank. Don't fancy a hair of the dog, do you?

Got to take the edge of this somehow.

Ah. Hangover. That's a different kind of illness, that is. Look at me.

Looks like you've had your own nurse looking after you.

What's this, Fruity Fuschia? Who you been snogging, you dirty swine!

Get that off your face. What's the matter with you?

Wandering around with lipstick on. Who's that, then?

No, it's nothing new. Old flame.

Oh! Ginger firecracker, eh?

No. Nikki, actually. She wants to try again.

Yeah, well, don't look too excited about it.

No, I am! I am! It's just...

You know, if we're going to do it again, it's got to be different this time.

It can be different. Make her feel special. Forget chance, come over to mine.

I've got something that'll make you look a million dollars.

-Here, give him a Full English, will you?

-Yeah? And who's paying for it?

-Shouldn't you be at work?

-I've got the day off.

What's all this? Fat Blasters?

Wasn't that that group you joined the other year?

Yeah. I'm going to set one up in Walford. I think it'll get a lot of interest.

Probably. There's a lot of vain women around here.

-It ain't about vanity.

-What's it about, then?

Health. Look, with everything you've been through,

I thought if I could help people understand about getting healthier...

What are you laughing at?

How's weighing yourself in the community centre going to help?

Cos there's going to be activities as well.

And sometimes talking to someone in the same situation as you can help.

Maybe you should think about that.

What's that supposed to mean?

-You and your mastectomy.

-Oh, d'you know what, I do not want to talk about that.

-No. You want to avoid it.

-No, cos I've got bigger things to think about, that's all.

Bigger things? What is bigger than this? This is your life!

Sonia! I've made my decision.

-But it's the riskier option!

-No, it's not. No.

-I don't have cancer in my other breast so I don't need to have it removed.

-It's preventative.

There's no evidence to say that it helps.

Mum, why would you want to go through all that chemo again?

If you can lessen your chances?

There's no proof.

This is all about Bianca.

She wants you running around,

sorting out her problems instead of facing up to your own.

-Is that your engagement ring?

-Yeah. Should be able to get a bit of money for that.

I really think you should stop and think about what you're doing.

I'd do the same for you. Remember that.

Are you free tonight, then?

I thought I'd take you out somewhere nice.

Yeah, well, meet in the pub first, if you want.

I dunno, about eight o'clock? All right.

-Roses, definitely.

-Eh?

-Well, you need to give her roses, don't you?

No, he don't. A man like Terry doesn't do cliches like that, do ya?

Well, I weren't thinking about flowers, no.

-See?

-But now you come to mention it...

-We'll do peonies and daisies, then!

-What does that say?

That you didn't have the balls to do roses.

-You just said to me that roses...

-I'm teasing you, you nutter.

Don't mind her. I'll put you something together really nice.

All right, well, I'll have um, I'll have some roses.

Some peonies. Oh, just shove it all in.

-Ooh! You are getting your panties in a twist.

-My panties are fine, thank you very much.

Good luck!

I mean, I always prefer like a pastelly colour for the summer.

Or Russian red.

What is this? Oh, no, that's a killer, that one.

-Oh, my God!

-What is this?

Oh, it's from Peter.

To say sorry for being grumpy on my birthday.

-It's your birthday?

-Yeah. 18.

Well, what are you doing here with me?

You should've said no when I called!

-Don't be silly.

-You should be out celebrating with him.

Yeah, well, he isn't that easy to talk to any more since Lucy, so...

Is he going to take you out later?

-Unlikely.

-Have you got any lashes?

Yeah.

So here's what's going to happen.

You're going to put mine on, I'm going to put yours on.

-And that is my birthday present to you.

-Really?

-You got any more clients today?

-No.

-Good, because we need our war paint.

Now listen, we're going to have lashes, we're going to have lips, the lot.

Then you're going to call that boy and you're going to tell him you want taking out.

Then we're going to go to the Vic and have a drink, then we're going to head up west.

I thought you were seeing Aleks later?

-I am.

-Is he coming too?

Unlikely.

Yeah, just go through there.

Nan! Carol's here to see you.

Sit down, if you want.

I'm fine.

Got ankles like elephants today.

Is that why you're not on the stall?

She won't be long. Can I help?

No, it's all right, I'm just clearing out some old stuff.

Sorry, Fat Elvis had a delivery of Alvin Klein perfume.

I've had to spend an hour hand painting the Cs.

-So, what can I do for ya?

-Just thought you might be able to give me a better price than the pawn shop.

Suppose I'd have to find a customer called Carol.

Carol is a common name.

Yeah, all right. Well, there's an engagement ring in there.

Let's have a look.

That's not bad.

Well, I can't give you anything without a proper valuation from Fat Elvis.

Well, how about just a rough estimation?

These will go, all right? I know it.

Yeah, well, we'll see.

-We'll give you an advance.

-What?

No, no, it's all right. Just give me something when you've sold them.

No, wait. Nan, these will sell, all right? Trust me.

Here you are, take this. Don't leave me hanging.

I was asking Mo.

It's one and the same thing.

Bianca's always doing me favours, like covering for me on the stall.

If you won't take it for yourself, take it for her. Please?

-Go on.

-All right, cheers. See you later.

-See ya.

-That's mine.

Slashed prices! Everything half price!

Here, Cora - I've got just the thing for you. Look. Perfect.

For my granddaughters, more like.

It's a modern world! No-one's too old for a bit of leopard print!

Even if you will ignore me.

-Bargain prices all day!

-You're going to lose your voice like that.

Well, if I lose this stock, then I'll be happy with that.

What is it? Some sort of aggressive sales technique, is it?

-Just trying something new.

-Is it working?

-Sort of, yeah.

Well, I've been on the end of a Bianca rant, haven't I?

You want to be on the end of another one?

-No. I'm just saying maybe you're scaring off the customers.

-What else am I supposed to do?

It's just a slow day, innit.

I can't afford a slow day, let alone a slow week.

-Are you all right?

-Yeah.

Look, I know I'm probably the last person you want to talk to about things, but...

No, I really appreciate it.