A poker game between the males of Albert Square separates the men from the boys. But as the stakes are raised, who will come up trumps: Phil, or Derek?
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Listen, if you want, Ian, I can get Roxy to hold the fort. We'll check out a few more places.
Nah, I don't think so. Where else is there?
All right, I get it - she stays out one night,
she's doing it to wind me up.
Stay out the whole weekend... What if something's happened to her?
Come on. You know Mandy can look after herself.
Yeah. Maybe she's realised she doesn't need me any more.
Do you know what else your mum used to like?
She used to like cheddar.
and spaghetti Bolognese.
Yeah. She used to have more Parmesan on the Bolognese than Bolognese.
-Shirl, we're out of milk.
-Can you go get it?
Me and George, we're all right here, aren't we?
You like Bolognese and all, don't you?
Just like your mum.
She ain't stopped talking to him about Hev all morning.
-It's just her way of dealing with it.
-Yeah, well, it's creepy.
It's better than her going after Andrew.
The more we can keep them apart,
less chance of her questioning that he did it. DOORBELL RINGS
All right, come in, mate. Shirley!
-It's my bed.
-It's your new bed, George!
It needs to go upstairs. Show him to your room, Ben.
-All right, Alfie?
-You all right?
Where you been all morning? Listen, I've had another delivery.
I got a batch of vodka that will put hairs on your chest.
Derek, I'm still trying to get shot of the electrical stuff.
Don't worry, I've found a buyer for all that.
Here, what's the matter?
I thought we had an understanding, me and you.
We do, just... I need to keep in with my boss.
Phil would have put the kibosh on all this
if he didn't have things on his mind. You all right, Phil?
He has though, ain't he?
-Phil. How's Shirl?
-Not now, Bill.
I'll drop the booze round later. And any other little bits and bobs that come my way. All right?
Don't worry, it's all good.
-OK. Thank you. Bye.
Yusef's money - it's cleared!
THEY SHRIEK AND LAUGH Oh, thanks again, Zee!
Yes, well, it's as it should be.
Yeah, too right, after what he did, innit! Thanks, Zainab.
So, can we get that big sofa I was telling you about?
Steady! We've got to sort the basics first.
Speaking of which - I came up with some more decorating ideas.
-You know, my shift at the Vic starts now, so...
DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
Not expecting company?
Give you a hand with that, if you like?
Janine's gone out on some errands so I ain't gotta rush back.
Nah, we're all right.
How you bearing up, Shirl?
I'm all right. Gotta be, ain't I? For this little fella.
I'll make you a cup of tea.
Here, you sit there, darling.
Keep your eye on him for a minute.
I think you've got more important things to be doing than that, don't you?
Like getting out there and showing Derek Branning who's the boss here.
I heard him talking to Alfie. Sounds like they're selling dodgy gear.
And you know he's sorting Janine out for the R&R and Manic Mondays?
So, him lording it up while you was stuck inside was one thing,
but he's still doing it.
I ain't got the time to deal with Derek right now.
He is getting his feet right under your table, and what you doing, eh?
Offering him a footstool! It ain't right.
I'll help Shirley with the tea.
Look, Dad, you gotta do something.
Otherwise more and more people are going to start getting suss.
They'll start asking questions.
All right, I'll go and sort it out.
You can help Billy finish this off, yeah?
As it happens, why don't you go and help Jay in the Arches?
Come on, mate. Come with me.
Billy can manage on his own.
'There's no point dragging it out.'
Dad's at the cafe all day. He won't be home for ages.
Lucy, if I wanted Ian to find me, I'd have come back before now.
So, you just wanted to watch some daytime telly
and have a free lunch, is that it?
I'm surprised you need a freebie.
Thought you would've snared yourself a new sucker by now.
You never did believe I actually cared about your dad, did you?
Just thought I saw him as some meal-ticket and that's it.
Cos if you really cared about him, you'd step aside
and give him the chance to find someone who's right for him.
What? Someone nice?
And sensible and stuck-up, like Saint Jane?
Someone who likes the same stuff as him, someone he can talk to.
Don't you find it a bit degrading,
-how he parades you around like an airhead trophy?
-He's proud of me.
When was the last time
he asked your opinion of a news story or a film?
or showed any interest in something you like? He doesn't.
Because even though he fancies you,
he just thinks you're a trashy bimbo.
You sound like my mum.
I'm not trying to be nasty. I'm just being honest.
D'you know what, Lucy, this won't take much longer,
and I'll be out of yours and your precious family's hair
before you know it.
If you need money for a bus...
You're not going to take the car my dad bought you, are you?
D'you know, actually, you're right.
I've already lined myself up a fella
with enough cash to see me travel out of here in style.
And this one has a wonderful article about feature walls...
-Lovely. ..How's Dot? Haven't seen her all weekend.
-Not so good.
Can't be easy for her, having Rose and Andrew living round the corner.
Gives me the creeps, that man still lurking round Walford.
You know, it's the brass neck of the bloke.
Hang on, girls! Innocent until proven guilty.
It's Shirley that I feel sorry for.
-We weren't the best of friends, but still,
-it must be very painful for her, no?
-It's painful for all of us.
But let's not go there with the blame game, eh?
Let's show a bit of support for everyone.
Alf, make it a double, actually.
Ian, come on, mate. You need to go easy.
Thought you were supposed to be over at the cafe anyway?
Oi, look, look, look.
-Something I can do for you?
-No. Why, should there be?
-You tell me.
See what he's done there? He's made the old schoolboy error
-with the wind-up technique.
-But she's doing herself no favours with the playing it hard to get bit.
You wouldn't know that tactic, would you, Peroxide?
What would you wait, what, a whole five minutes before you pounce...
-Ow, my BCG!
-Listen, let me tell you something.
At least I'm young enough to do a bit of pouncing.
-How did you pull Kat? Did you hit her with your Zimmer frame?
-Now that's below the belt, that is!
Come on, let's give 'em a helping hand? Kim, Ray!
-Ssh! Mate, you know what with Jean, she's a bit off-colour,
what with Friday night and all that,
hoping that maybe you could help out with the food?
We ain't that busy behind the bar so that'd be great.
No, no, I am not doing any more waitressing. Not for him.
Yeah, I mean, come on, Alfie. It ain't exactly her strong point.
Excuse me, what was wrong with my waitressing last week?
I can stick a few plates on tables. It's easy.
-Like stirring a pan on a stove, innit?
Don't blame me when she messes up.
You know what? Bring it on, food boy!
OK. All right, this has got disaster written all over it.
Nah, nah, they'll be working as a team soon. You'll see.
Hello, mate, what can I get you?
You tracked down Darren yet?
No. Well, I emailed him, but I'm not sure he's checking the account, so...
You better keep trying then, ain't you?
Phil, sorry about the other night. If I'd have known Shirley would react like that...
Never mind that. Listen, these deals you've had going with Derek
these last few months, they've got to stop.
They're not exactly deals. Just doing the odd favour...
Yeah, whatever. Just make sure that his gear is out of here
by the end of the day, understand?
-You're the boss.
-And I ain't forgotten the rent's due.
You've got till the end of the week.
Thought you was helping out in the caff.
-Oi. I'm talking to you!
-Marie's covering my dad's lunch break.
And if it weren't for him the place wouldn't even be open.
Why is Marie in there?
She told me you had some big emergency.
Yeah, I have. I'm conducting an emergency experiment
in how much whiskey it takes
for me to blot out an entire last year of my life.
Dad, you need to snap out of this.
People are relying on you. Bobby...
You've grown up.
Bobby - he'd rather spend his time with Shenice and Tiffany,
and Shirley, tell you what - she couldn't give a monkey's who runs that caff, the state she's in.
You know what, love?
I used to be someone round here.
People used to look up to me. They used to respect me.
Now look at me.
Is it any wonder Mandy did a runner?
Why don't we spend an afternoon on the sofa and watch movies,
like we did when I was little?
Dad, Mandy's gone and she's not coming back.
And why would she, now she's got a new bloke to tap up?
You know, you need to pull yourself together and stop the whole pity party.
-How d'you know she's got a new bloke?
Lucy, if you've seen her, you'd better tell me!
Come on, Lucy. Please.
She came to pick up the rest of her stuff, but she's gone now.
-OK, and where's she gone?
-I don't know.
-See you later, Phil.
-Cheers, Darren. Thanks, mate.
You seen my keys for the R&R?
Why don't you want me to be at home?
You don't trust me with him, do you? George.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You think I'm a freak. A nut-job.
Is that why you don't want me to go to the shrink? Cos they'll see it?
Just calm down, Ben, will you?
Why? Am I scaring you?
How could you even think that I'd hurt him?
I'd never hurt George.
I've been him. I know what it feels like to grow up without a mum.
Ben, I can't deal with this right now, OK?
Tell me you trust me with George.
-I'm so glad you're still here.
-Yeah, well. Not for long.
Mand, I was bang out of order last Friday.
I should never have believed all that rubbish your mum was spouting.
Come on, please come back home. I'll make it up to you, I promise.
It's too late.
Is that because of your new fella?
Lucy told me about him.
-So what is he? Better looking? Richer?
Obviously thinks a lot of you, letting you catch the bus.
-I didn't mean it like that.
-Yeah, you did, Ian.
Because you just think of me as some cheap slapper.
Like Lucy said - no better than trash.
No. Mandy, I don't!
Come on, let's go home, talk about it in the house, yeah?
Why? Are you embarrassed? Like you was the other night?
I know that's what you think of me, Ian,
because you were so quick to believe I could just jump out of your bed
straight into someone else's.
There is no bloke, Ian!
I made him up.
The truth is, you know,
I would rather be alone and sleeping in a gutter
than to be back with someone who thinks so little of me.
Mandy. Mandy, look, please...
..don't leave me.
Takes more than a ring, Ian.
Me and you, we're just...
It's just not going to work, Ian.
-We've got nothing in common.
-Yes, we have!
Or...look, we will have.
That comes from being together, from sharing stuff.
You're on the Beale family tree now, aren't you? Mandy...
Last week, I had a bit of a wobble, OK.
And I let myself believe
that you were like all the women from my past.
That you were going to take me for everything I had and throw me away.
But once you'd gone, I realised what a total idiot I'd been.
I'd forgotten, you're not like the women from my past.
You're different and I forgot that.
I spent the whole weekend trying to find you.
Mandy, if you come back,
I swear that you'll never think that you're trash.
I'll never take you for granted, and...
I'll never let you think that you are not everything to me.
Because you are.
You are everything.
Ding dong, Derek calling! New delivery for Miss Butcher.
Suppose I'm going to have to get used to calling you Mrs Moon soon.
-Dunno if I like that.
-No need to be so formal, Derek. "Phil" is fine.
I asked Janine to pop out so me and you could have a little chat.
-Is that so?
I appreciate you looking after things while I've been away.
But... Well, I'm back now, so I won't be needing your services any more.
That's unfortunate, Phil.
You're going to be hard-pressed to find a booze supplier who can match my prices.
Well, I won't need to.
I've decided to knock it on the head with Manic Mondays anyway.
Bit downmarket for my taste.
And Janine's all right with that?
I'm the majority shareholder. She answers to me.
Just like Alfie.
-No hard feelings, eh?
-None at all.
I was going to have to tell Janine we should wrap up our current arrangement.
Stocks are running a bit low. So, it's worked out well for everybody.
Excuse me. We ordered our vegetable bakes ages ago.
How much longer do you reckon they'll be?
I'm really sorry, there must be some kind of mix-up.
Can you excuse me a moment, please?
I shouted service about ten minutes ago. That food will be going cold.
Sorry. I didn't hear you. Just put it in the microwave, innit.
It won't taste nice reheated.
-They ain't going to notice.
-They work in a restaurant, of course they will!
Alf, I ordered mine after them. Am I going to get any lunch?
Just give us a second, Jack. Excuse me, what's the problem?
-She's allowing the food to get cold!
-He's having a hissy fit!
I'm not interested! Can we just get the food out? Thank you.
I'm really sorry for the delay. It should be any second now.
Better be careful with those.
Don't want a customer chomping down on one of your false nails, do we?
You know, if you're so worried,
why don't you serve your poncey food yourself?
-My food ain't poncey!
-OK, could we just get ANY food?
-Let's just get something at home. Alfie, forget it.
-No-one here wants to eat a bisque!
-Like you even know what a bisque is.
You probably think it's a bra!
-When it comes to underwear I know what I'm talking about!
-OK, well done. Well done.
This was not one of your best ideas, was it?
-You're losing money, Alfie.
-No, no, just give 'em a bit longer.
They've had their row, now they'll do the kiss and make up.
Oh yeah? You're such a romantic fool, you are.
And you know what you are, you're just an old cynic.
That's what you are.
-What are you going to tell him?
-Tell him the deal's off.
-I'll be fine.
-There you go, love.
-Ooh, ta. Cheers.
Glad to see that back where it belongs.
What's this rubbish we're watching?
It's that reality programme I like.
This girl's mum is such a nag.
We can watch something else.
No, it's fine. We'll stick with it.
Never know, might become my thing.
-What are you doing?
-You know, I would rather know what's going on in the world.
You're always talking about this "socio...economic deficit".
-What's it actually mean?
It's a bit hard to explain, really.
Well, the basic term "socioeconomic status",
that refers to a group or individual's position within the hierarchical social structure...
You don't really want to know this, do you?
How about, all right, we go out and paint the town red?
Or blue. Or whatever colour you want.
-Maybe we could go up West End, hit a club later?
I tried to get Phil to change his mind, but you know what he's like once he's made a decision.
You've got more chance of getting a rabbi to lunch in a sausage-making factory.
Like you said before, he's your boss. Not me.
Thanks for being understanding.
No, no! See, that's what people fail to get about me, Alfie.
I'm a very understanding man.
-No hard feelings, then, eh?
-No, none at all.
-This is business, it's not personal.
-No, course not.
-Is it, Alfie?
Cos if it was...
Look, I'd love to help, mate, but I've got to be
-three other places today.
-What's your fee? I'll top it.
Come on, I've got to get this done quick.
-All right. I'll get my tools.
Wow. That's never a real life builder, is it?
Was starting to think they didn't exist.
I think I found the last one. Got a bit of re-plastering needs doing in the gym.
I had the electricians in.
Got ancient pipes in there, I don't know what's going on.
But you would've thought I was asking for a rebuild, the time it's taken to find someone.
Jack, don't suppose you could give me his number?
The sooner I get quotes on the old place,
the sooner me and Kim can move out of that hovel Janine laughingly calls a "bijou apartment".
I'll send him your way when he's done with me, yeah.
-Yeah? Brilliant. Thanks, Jack.
-See you later.
Sorry, 'scuse me.
Listen, I know you've got some work to do, but I've got this B&B...
Bottle of your finest champagne please, Mr Moon.
Well, if it's not Walford's very own Posh and Becks, reunited.
I knew you'd be back, Mandy, if you don't mind me saying, love.
Listen, promise me, there's going to be no punch ups.
Cos I do not have a boxing license.
When you said we'd be painting the town red,
I thought you'd take me somewhere other than the Vic.
We're not going to stop here long.
-Here we go, guys.
-Thank you, Mr Moon.
-One for you,
and one for you.
-There you go.
Here we are. Here's to me and Mandy.
Back together and better than ever!
Ray, come here, mate.
Jean may be back tomorrow.
So just do me a favour... just stick with it, yeah?
Come on. Do it for me.
Hmm... I wonder what put him in such a lousy mood.
Think I got it wrong about those two...
Thank you! Thank you!
No, I'm thinking they haven't got the hots for each other.
-No, cos they are in love!
-You know what, listen... I tell you who is not in love.
-These two. How try hard is Ian? How try hard, come on?
But if he's got it, he wants to flaunt it. Good luck to him.
How about we go to the Argee Bhajee for a curry,
and then go onto the R&R and I could dance badly!
Is there anywhere in Walford you don't want to take me to?
I'm proud of you. I just want to show you off to everyone!
-What are you doing?
I'd rather have this at home. Wouldn't you? In bed.
OK. Alfie, I'll bring the glasses back.
-Yeah, have fun, you guys. Bye!
I was thinking about what you said earlier,
about us supporting each other.
Well, there's this book club that we used to have.
It weren't really about the books. It was more an excuse to down a few bottles.
I thought, you know, why not resurrect it?
Nice idea. Just tell me where and when and I'll be there.
I might even be able to persuade Dot to come.
Yeah, well, thing is...
Can't really use our current digs - too small.
So I wondered how you thought Tan might feel
about playing hostess. It's just, she used to really enjoy it,
but after everything she's been through, I didn't like to presume.
Tomorrow suit you? Tanya would love to get back to normal.
It's what she needs. What we all need.
Ssh. I've just got George off to sleep.
Shirl, just because we got him a bed...
When Darren finds out, he's going to want him back.
He SHOULD have him back.
But he ain't here though, is he?
He couldn't even be bothered to go and see Hev when she was alive.
And George, these days he knows me better than him.
And you, and Jay and Ben...
They back yet?
No, Jay's gone out with Abi. Ben ain't been home.
Phil, I know what's on your mind.
I've seen how uncomfortable Ben is around George. But...
He misses Hev. He's taken it hard.
I don't understand why you didn't come to me first.
It'll be an orgy of alcohol and saturated fat at Tanya's.
What d'you think you're playing at?
-I don't see anybody else here who's poached my builder.
-Oh no, listen!
I just mentioned to him that I wanted some work doing
and he insisted on taking a look.
I assumed he'd come straight back to your place.
Well, he ain't. Cos he's cancelled. He's got a bigger job.
Three guesses who that might be!
Look, I had no idea. I'm sorry.
What is it with your family?
I just went without lunch cos of that fruit-loop sister of yours, now you're doing this. What next?
Patrick going to pop up, slash my tyres?!
Don't bring my family into it. Go on, get out. You're barred!
Suits me fine.
You might've been more supportive!
Well, maybe if you'd supported ME, by asking ME to host book club...
Ian. Come back to bed.
We can try again.
It's probably just all the champagne. Happens to loads of fellas.
Just go back upstairs! Please.
DOOR SLAMS Was it...?
You two you made up, then?
You could've at least used your own room.
I'm going to need years of therapy to get over this.
Just give it a rest, why don't you?
What happened to the new bloke?
You could at least look happy, Dad. I thought this was what you wanted.
Don't worry. I'm not going to stay for round two.
I'm going to go pick up Bobby from Holiday Club.
And try and make yourself decent before we get back.
Looks like someone don't want to go home.
It's all right, it's all right. No need for that. I don't bite.
We used to get along, once upon a time, me and you.
Eh? When your old man was detained at Her Majesty's pleasure.
You know, Ben...
You can always come to me, you know.
I want you to think of me as a sort of... Well, as a surrogate father.
Anything you want to talk about, any time.
Oi, get away from him. Get away from my son.
I don't think Ben's got a problem with me sitting here, have you, Ben?
I will say this as clear as I can, so I don't have to repeat myself.
Stay away from my businesses, stay away from my family -
and, most importantly of all, stay away from my son.
You heard my dad.
Only shooting the breeze. No harm meant.
But if that's the way you want it...
The line's been drawn.
Derek, I told you, mate, I can't take no more at the Vic, all right?
Nah, this is different.
A proper job.
You do still need cash, don't you, Alfie?
Cup of coffee please, darling.
Sorry. Maybe next time.
Well, it's your decision. Oh, Alfie.
-I thought you might want a rematch.
You do still play cards, don't you?
Course I do. Just say when and where.
OK, let me have a chat with Jean, see if she can take care of Shenice, all right?
Good. I'll get my brothers together.
You bring your cousin, make up the numbers.
Sorry, I thought I told you it was book club.
Yeah, I just didn't realise it was tonight, that's all.
I was going to cook us a dinner and Abi was going to take Oscar out.
We was going to have the whole place to ourselves.
I can't really back out now.
-Well, we'll do it another time.
Well, I suppose this means you want me out from under your feet, is it?
Women only, yeah?
It's all right, there's a car auction.
I'll go to that.
-Lovely idea, Max.
I thought you loved poker.
I do, but not as much as I love my arms and legs.
Which I won't have much longer if I keep dipping into Phil's rent, will I?
Granddad, you will be fine, all right?
A bit of blag, a bit of charm - it's what you do best, ain't it, eh? You can't lose.
Come on, you going to Tan's book club tonight or what?
Who says I've been invited?
Anyway - bothered? Not my thing. Move your foot, please.
They won't mind you pitching in, darling. It'll be fine - Jean can take care of Amy.
-I bet it hasn't been a barrel of laughs round your place lately.
-That's an understatement.
Nah, me and Tanya, we're not exactly bosom buddies, you know?
Rox, just put out the hand of friendship like that.
Weren't you always telling me
that you and Ronnie were the social lifeblood of the Square?
Nah, you know what? Even if I fancied it, let me tell you something.
The last book I read was probably...
-the photo stories in... the My Guy annual, 1988.
I remember them! You've just got to blag it.
Go on one of these online book stores, check out the reviews. Come on, job done.
Come on, Cinders, keep sweeping.
I do hope Tanya's not going to make those awful vol-au-vents.
They're not a patch on my samosas.
-I'll put the kettle on.
Wicked Witch of the West ain't about, is she?
If you are referring to my friend and colleague Denise, she's busy.
Good. Can I get a bottle of scotch, please?
Unless I take my money elsewhere.
What you doing? He's barred!
Come on, isn't this a little bit childish now?
-He started it!
-No, you did,
when you stole my builder. Give us the scotch. Here you are.
Thank you, Zainab.
Oh, that man... He's asking for a slap!
-Count me out. Getting fleeced by the Brannings ain't my idea of fun.
You got better things at home to do with the missus, eh? Good lad.
Oh, don't tell me, trouble in paradise again, is there?
No, it's, erm...
Have you had times, you know, with you and Kat, when, erm...
Me and Kat what?
I'll tell you what, it's like you've got a new car,
but the engine won't rev.
-Ian, what you talking about? New car?
-Never mind, don't worry.
-All right, love?
You left early today.
Yeah, got a lot to do. With the stall and running the caff and stuff.
Right. Well, look, I thought, what with Bobby and Lucy out,
maybe tonight we could snuggle up with a DVD.
Little glass of wine, relax...
Look, I'd love to, but I've got to dash, all right?
I promised Alfie and the lads I'd play cards tonight.
It's not really my bag.
And you agreed to this because?
Cos I needed the brownie points. I told Derek I was going to ask you.
-If you don't come, you'll look like a wuss - up to you.
-Thanks, cousin, very thoughtful(!)
All right, Phil? What can I do for you?
You and Derek looked very cosy in the caff earlier.
Listen, you don't need to worry about that.
All the stuff that was out the back, he's cleared it all out.
-Check it if you like.
-I think I'll do that.
You going to this game later?
What you on about?
This poker game at Basher's.
I thought you knew. Derek set it up.
Good. Come on, then, if you're going.
Ooh, you've changed your tune, have you?
Should be a laugh.
-Mind if I sit down?
-No, go on.
So, you not been invited to book club either?
Oh! Is that where they're all going?
-Oh. Sounds tragic.
-You know it.
Sorry, I've got to...wipe it.
You know what? Me and my sister used to do this before we went out.
What, get tanked up before you hit the clubs? Been there.
You know what, though?
It was kind of, like, our way of kicking off the evening.
Not the highlight of the night, but...
Are we the tragic ones?
Well, there's only one way to find out.
We should've brought a bottle.
Would you rather shell out on these or on food for the kids?
Anyway, they don't notice.
-Oh, cheers, Tanya.
Where you sneaking off to?
The Vic...for wine.
Well, I'm sure Tanya's got a vat of it in the kitchen.
This wouldn't be about a certain someone who works there, would it?
Fine. Just don't blame me when we run out of booze, yeah?
I don't know why I let you talk me into coming here.
I mean, I only read the Bible nowadays.
Modern books are full of fornication and violence.
I mean, there's enough in the world as it is.
Ain't about the books, though, is it?
It's about neighbours getting together to break bread
and support each other.
You don't have to go to church for that, Dot.
Cora, it ain't the same at all.
Do you know what? I love what you've done with this room, Tan.
Oh, thank you.
It's much more modern than what other people do round here.
Didn't you ask Shirley to come, then?
It didn't seem right after how she reacted last week in the Vic.
Can you blame her for being so upset,
with her best friend's killer walking around the Square,
bold as brass?
We don't know that yet, do we?
-Who else could it be, though, really?
-Sorry, Dot, didn't mean to upset you.
-Right, so shall I put some music on?
-Yes. Good idea. It's over there.
Could we make a start, please?
Because I went down to the library and picked up some potential choices.
I thought you said we wouldn't have to talk about any books!
And seeing as we haven't done many classics, I thought how about a Bronte sister?
Oh, Zainab, bore-off!
Excuse me, who invited you two?
Well, the door was on the latch so we thought it was an open house.
We didn't come empty-handed.
Oh, I've actually read this.
You think it's going to be about some weird medical disorder
and it actually turns out to be a really good psychological thriller.
It's quite gripping, actually.
Yes, well, that's very nice.
But I think we're a bit full up this time round.
Maybe next time.
What happened to community spirit?
Yeah, Dot's right.
The more the merrier.
Make yourselves at home, girls.
Just keep her out of my way.
Let us raise the first glass to Tan.
Now, Tan, she's had a real battle on her hands these past few months,
but she's come out even stronger the other side, ain't she?
It's great to see her back so fighting fit.
Anyway, so here's to Tanya.
No, I'm all right. I like to keep a clear head when I'm playing cards.
Yeah, playing Snap with Bobby don't count, though.
Come on, don't knock the Beale.
-Pulled a cracker like Mandy, didn't he?
-Fair play to you.
That's why you've got bags under your eyes, eh?
Keeping you up at night?
-Max ain't going to make it back in time.
-Let's get started, then.
Make it a bit more interesting.
What do you say we play cash-only tonight, if that's OK?
I wouldn't expect anything less.
..can't be too careful when there's Moons about, can you, eh?
-Very suspicious mind there, Derek.
You're not worried about losing, are you?
-Wouldn't be the first time you played dirty.
-Lads, lads, come on. This is fine. It's OK, it's OK.
Sorry, mate, we're closed.
Well, you weren't going to start without me, was you?
Grab a pew.
Unless there's any objections?
I thought we were going to play with yours, Derek. No?
Alfie's the dealer.
It's his choice.
This is nice, isn't it?
You fancied Syed?!
-Yes, before I realised he was gay, OK?
He's been out two years - get over it.
-You know who I think's fit?
You don't fancy Michael Moon?!
Me? No! I just think he's a bit easy on the eye.
That why you went out with his dad, get a bit closer to him? Yeah!
# Carol and Michael sitting in a tree... #
All right, all right, all right, can we go back to Tanya? Who is it? Who is it?
Ray, Morgan's dad. What?
And he's a chef, ain't he, so he's good with his hands.
Well, Bianca should know.
Well, that was years ago.
Right, so if it's the chef thing,
maybe you've got the hots for Ian, too?
No! Oh, sorry, Mandy.
Don't be. I know Ian's not an obvious choice but, believe it or not,
-he's got a lot more going for him than you might think.
Yeah, like his bank balance.
No. He can actually be very sweet and very romantic.
He can't have been that bad, can he, if Jane was with him all them years.
So, does anybody else think that Ray's fit?
Oh, Mrs Masmood!
What? I have eyes!
-Do you know who I'd pick?
Don't say anything to Kat, she would scratch me eyes out!
-Are you serious?
He's a laugh, ain't he, he gets on with everyone,
and he's got a naughty little twinkle in his eye.
Actually, now you say it, I could...
Oh, hands off. You bagsied Ray! You can't have all men.
No, no, no-one bagsied anybody, yeah? That ain't how it works!
-Anyway, Alfie is just... Alfie. That's it.
-Too nice, no edge.
Nothing wrong with a little bit of nice.
Yeah, edge is over-rated when life throws you a curve-ball.
Right, so if you could choose one quality, what would it be?
What's that word when someone's, like, always making an effort,
and really spoils you?
-Attentive. But not suffocating.
-Yeah. Good with the kids, obviously.
Honesty's far better.
Kind. Never underestimate kind.
Faithfulness, like my Jim. Not some fly-by-night.
Makes you think you're the only woman in a packed room.
Someone, yeah, who is on your side,
who just makes you feel like it's you against the rest of the world.
-About, that, do you reckon?
-Nah. Think big.
I know what Bealey goes for. Bealey goes for blondes, don't you, eh?
I'm more of a leg man, myself.
Nah, I like a nice round rump, like Pippa Middleton.
Yeah, she's the drop for me.
Now, if Janine wears a wedding dress like that, happy days.
Thought it was the bride who talked about the frocks, eh?
You handling the flowers and the cakes as well, are you(?)
Actually, there is a real art to a good wedding cake.
What's happened with your marriage plans, Ian, eh? Got cold feet?
Wouldn't be surprised. I've met classier alley cats.
So where's your bird, Derek?
Decent bird, though, she wants a bit of privacy, Derek.
Not going to get very far crashing on his couch.
Well, I'm pickier than most. How's Shirley? Bearing up, is she?
I came here to play cards, not chat.
Right, we'll let the girls do that.
Wonder what they chat about at these book clubs anyway.
Mind your own business. Anyway, not as long as Denise here.
Don't turn this around onto me.
Yeah, you can't ask her that, can you? How long?
Must you be so crude?
Give me a whisky and a fag over a fella any time.
Denise, you want to get back out there, hon, or that is the future.
You know what they say, though, innit? If you don't use it, you lose it.
I'll get some more wine.
Denise, I have an idea.
-Can I give you a hand with anything?
-No, you're all right.
OK, I know my lot and your lot haven't exactly seen eye to eye lately,
and I really just want to say thank you for not kicking me out earlier.
Anything to keep Dot happy.
Oh, look, the truth is I owe you, don't I?
Covering for me at the salon all those times I was having treatment.
-No. It's fine.
-No, it's not.
-You must've thought I was a right lazy cow at the time!
-Yes, I did.
Only cos I didn't know you had cancer! I'm so sorry.
It's all right, don't be stupid. You can say the word.
I have got used to hearing it now. I've had to.
You know what? I think you're amazing.
-I do. The way you've dealt with the illness
and the treatment, and the pressure it's put on you and Max.
What you saying?
I'm dribbling on cos I'm drunk.
Yeah, see. Join the club.
I am not going on a blind date!
But I have the perfect man in mind!
Come on, we all know there's no such thing.
Men! Men, men, men, men, men! It's all you've talked about all evening!
You've got family and friends, ain't you?
Ain't that enough?
And you've got a future - not like poor Heather,
'taken from us before her time. Brutally murdered.'
Phil? You in or not? Phil?
Not one of you has mentioned her all night.
It's as if she's already been forgotten.
Course not, Dot.
It's just hard to know what to say.
Why don't we have another toast?
To Heather, absent friend.
Here, anyone know how to make that cocktail that she loved? What was it again? Woo woo!
Roxy's the expert.
Bring me all your booze. Just all of it!
Forget it. I'm out.
And I'll raise.
Nice one. Nicely played, sir.
-Did you say something?
We both lost out tonight, eh, Derek?
Well, someone's got to lose. Knowing when to pick your battles.
It's been a pleasure.
Pleasure was all mine.
Now I've got the other stuff but I got no peach schnapps.
Oh, we can't have any woo woos.
-Nah, let's go to the Vic and get some!
-It's past last orders.
There's always the R&R. And Ray might have gone there for a nightcap.
I think I've had enough fun for one night. And you...blind date?
Oh, anything to shut you up!
-I ain't coming, I'm skint.
-Look, I'll get the first round! You're coming as well, Karen.
-I want to get a kebab first.
You joining us, Mum?
No. I better get back, make sure Dot's OK.
What's Max been telling you, about him and Tanya?
So what was all that about before with Tanya?
You talking about them being under pressure.
SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
You misheard me!
Seriously, come on, as if Max is going to tell me
anything about his marriage!
Shall we break into my last fiver and drown our sorrows?
Get back to Mandy. Where would you rather be, eh?
Crying into a beer with me, or curled up on the sofa with her?
-If Kat was around, I know what I'd choose.
-Yeah, see you later.
See you, mate, take care.
Lucky Michael told me about the game, otherwise I'd have missed out.
about this week's rent.
It'll be tricky, especially after tonight.
Well, that's the deal and you need to stick to it.
Don't want people round here thinking I'm going soft, do I?
Out. The coast is clear for you and Roxy.
She told me everything.
Then do you want to tell me? Cos I don't know what you're talking about.
You two must have been getting very cosy.
How else would she know about your recent marital problems?
I ain't got a clue, Cora. Probably been gossiping with Jack.
It all makes sense now, how you've been doting on Tanya.
Why wouldn't I dote over her, Cora? She needs looking after.
Or you've got a guilty conscience.
All right, you want the truth, do you?
Roxy made a move, and I knocked her back.
Don't surprise me she's trying to stir things up,
cos she's a woman scorned.
That it, yeah? We done?
Dinner's getting cold.
Get your phone out. You're going to get her over here.
Then we'll see who's lying.
Hold on. I've got to go. I've got to go.
No, no, no, I'll see you later! Go, go.
-Why don't you go with her?
-Baby! I've missed you!
Hold on, you promised you'd never go to McKlunky's!
Oh. Umm... I'll make it up to you.
Hey, Mandy's told us all about the real Beale.
Everything, yeah! Pretty shocking stuff.
Oh, no, not about that!
All have a good laugh, did you?! I should've let you leave yesterday.
Oh, Ian! It happens to every man once in a while. Get over it!
What's so urgent?
Cora's convinced me and you are having some passionate affair.
Do the decent thing and put her straight, will you?
Then maybe she'll stop these stupid ideas and go back to watching her Howard's Way box-set.
Cora, I've already told you, yeah. We've been through this.
Tell her the truth, Roxy.
All right, fine. You want to know the truth, yeah?
Me and Max, we talked a few times, OK?
I was feeling low, after everything that happened with Amy...
Spare me the self pity.
I flirted with him.
OK. More than that, I offered it up on a plate.
Max wasn't interested, so I backed off. End of.
What sort of shameless scrubber throws herself at a bloke
whose wife's getting over cancer?!
I know. I know, I'm sorry, OK.
Coming here tonight, talking to Tanya,
it made me realise what an idiot I've been.
And I swear to you, I will never try it again.
Too right you won't.
Cos if you do, I'll drag you through the square by those cheap extensions of yours
and let everyone know exactly what you are.
Now get out.
I don't know, Alf.
I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with a Mitchell on the firm.
No, Derek. Derek, you can trust Billy, I promise you.
I'll have to take your word for that.
So, why the change of heart?
Well, try and make back some of the money I lost tonight. And then some.
-I'll be in touch.
-I'll let you out.
Even a tart like Roxy Mitchell needs some sort of encouragement.
Something tells me I'm only getting half the story.
Yeah? You believe what you want.
I won't have my daughter put through any more pain.
Never stop being grateful she's still here, Max.
..I started a thing with a married man.
Are you judging me?! I knew you were going to judge me!
No, Rox, no. Look at my face.
-Look, come on - no judgement.
-Yeah, well, it might be your poker face.
-Weren't much good tonight, the amount of cash I lost.
-Oh, no, you didn't! How much?
Stop changing the subject. About this fella. Come on.
OK. We backed out before anything happened. Well, he did.
And then tonight, I got this text and...I should've ignored it.
But instead, I went rushing round to see him...
..and I made such an idiot of myself.
And I didn't even like him that way anyway, yeah.
And now, I've been rejected by a man I don't even like. How sad is that?
Are you comforting me, or what?!
Rox, so you got a knock-back. So what, sweetheart?
No big deal.
There's a million and one fellas out there that would love to meet
the East End's most lovable unnatural blonde. Eh?
It's not just that. It's, like, when I was in Ibiza, I was,
like, the original party girl and I loved it.
I really did.
And now, it's like I'm the only one who's trying to be naughty,
I'm the only one who's trying to keep up the party.
And everyone's just gone home.
Then let 'em go home. You stay at the party!
With who?! With who? Christian's all loved up, Ronnie's...
And those lot, they are not...
They are not my mates.
Excuse me, sister?
What am I? Chopped liver or something?
You can be Cinderella, I'll be your prince. I can take you to the ball, can't I?
What a pair we are, eh?
OK, come on, then - how much did you lose?
Oh, don't. Just...well...
enough to keep Phil and the taxman on my back.
No, no, I'll tell you why. Because I have a plan.
See, now I'm not worried. I wasn't worried.
Because you may be old,
but you are the magnificent Alfie Moon,
and you always come up trumps. You do.
And you are the lovely Roxy Mitchell. And I promise you, sweetheart,
you may think you'll never meet the right bloke but I promise you will.
And when you do - you'll know all about it.
And you will live happily ever after.
I do love you, Grandad. You know that, don't you?
Oi. Stop with the blubbing, you'll make your mascara run.
And mine as well. Come here.
Come here, you can't go home looking like that with your panda eyes.
Look at me. Clean 'em up like that. There we go.
Listen, you're going to be fine, all right?
Yeah. But I do mean it, though, you know?
I love you.
You're always on my side, aren't you?
-# And a hundred lonely housewives
# Clutch empty milk bottles to their hearts
# Hanging out their old love letters
# On a line to dry
# It's enough to make you stop believing
# When tears come fast and furious
# In a town called Malice. #
Yeah, I know, I've got a loan with you already.
Well, the thing is, I need a new telly,
so I just thought I could increase the loan?
So, you have to pay the old one off first, yeah.
Warm me up, Alfie.
-There you go.
I thought we'd just go over the details for later.
Well, the job is as straightforward as it seems, ain't it?
We wait for Trev the drayman to turn his back
and then we steal the booze from his van.
-12 grand's worth of booze.
-Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
Well, like you say, it sounds straightforward enough.
No, listen, I've got convictions, and I stand to lose everything.
And I don't just mean the pub.
Kat's not the most forgiving of women.
There's no backing out now, Alf.
Remember, I'm not the most forgiving of men.
You've no idea what's in them, have you?
Winston said it's all good stuff.
Said the supermarket only chucks it out cos the labels are torn.
That lot's never seen labels. "Dodgy" is written all over 'em.
Beggars can't be choosers.
Oh, last night, I had this really great dream.
Can't remember all the details,
but that bloke from Captain America was in it.
And I know I was having a really good time.
Then I woke up. Back to reality, eh?
Reality's not that bad. Anyway, you've still got a great figure.
Yeah, I've had this skirt for years, who needs money?
We're better off than some and you know what? KIDS SHOUTING
I've been there before, dreading the post, the knock at the door,
starving myself so that you lot can have dinner. Things get better.
If we don't get a new telly, the kids will kill each other.
Or I am going to kill both of them!
I never get to watch what I want!
Oh! My head is banging from last night.
Yeah, tell me about it.
Interesting conversations, though.
Oh, sorry, we don't do oysters or what was it? Rhino horn.
Meant to perk you up a bit, innit?
That meant to be funny?
Ian's face when you blurted it out in front of everyone.
Yeah, well, least I've got a fella, eh?
Who you got keeping you warm at night?
-Looking good, Kim.
-Thank you, thank you.
What do you think?
I take it you're trying to impress someone.
And if I was, would it work?
Some might say, you've got all your goodies on a plate.
But you, being my ever-loving sister, you would say...
You look lovely.
Don't I? I know.
So, this is all for Ray's benefit, I take it?
Oh, come on, I saw your face last night
when everyone said how fit he was.
Well, they need to realise that he's desperate to get my attention.
He's going to be looking out of his little hatch all night,
watching me behind the bar, lighting up the pub with the life,
the soul, curves, booty.
I guarantee, by closing, he'll be putty in my hands.
Oh, so, you do want him to be putty then?
-I'm getting lost whether you want him or not.
-No, I never said I wanted him.
But that's not to say that I don't want him wanting me.
You see? Let me tell you a little something, yeah?
It is better to be wanted than to be had, yeah?
You might want to think about that a few times, yeah?
Pay you later.
You've not had an easy couple of weeks, have you?
I drove myself over to see Jim today
and I was bracing myself all the way to tell him about Heather, you know?
And when I got there, I realised I couldn't
because what does he need to know for?
He don't need upsetting.
Anyway, what's bothering you?
I feel stupid now. Look, I should have thought.
Yeah, you should.
But you can be a bit selfish, Ian.
Anyway, you're here now, might as well tell me.
I feel old.
Must be awful being in your early 40s.
I'm not going anywhere in life.
I mean, I had dreams and ambitions.
I mean, look at me now, Dot, I'm running the stall that my dad ran
-and that his father ran before him...
-Drink your tea up.
-I can't listen to no more.
You should count yourself lucky you're alive.
-Dot, I'm sorry...
-If you're looking for sympathy,
not me, not today.
I mean, I was supposed to being going to church tonight,
you know, it's Maundy Thursday
and I couldn't face telling Jim about Heather
and I can't face going to church and I can't even talk to Jesus.
I'm afraid...you're knocking at the wrong door.
-He seen me earlier.
-Checked that I was all right for tonight.
-Yeah? What did you say?
What do you think I said? I'm skint, ain't I?
Thing I don't get is you agreeing to be his dogsbody.
Whoa, stop. I'm no-one's dogsbody.
Oh, right, so you're partners now, are you?
Come on, Alfie, don't kid yourself.
I mean, how much money are you actually making out of all of this?
Or should I say how will Derek let you keep?
Enough to pay rent for the next six months
and keep the tax man off my back, all right?
I don't know if you've noticed but the Vic is hardly standing room only.
Only at lunchtime, hardly enough people to start a darts team.
I'm just trying to claw back any profit wherever I can.
And you ain't got any ideas of your own, eh? You?
BILLY SCOFFS You surprise me.
Ladies and gentlemen, Kimberley Fox is in the building.
Kim. Ray wants you.
Tell me something I don't already know.
R&B MUSIC PLAYS
Ooh, hello, you're looking very filet mignon today.
-Filet mignon, the best steak in the world.
You saying I look like a bit of meat?
-Look, Roxy said you wanted me.
Yeah, listen, I need some help in the kitchen tonight. Alfie said you're it.
I don't think so, young man.
Cos, tonight, I'll be lighting up the pub out there.
-Ooh, I'm afraid not, babe.
-No, no, no, no time for buts, babe.
That stuff over there needs filleting.
And don't throw away the heads, we'll be boiling them for stock.
Right, so, you both get to pick a can
and then, whatever's inside, that's your dinner.
What? Go on, just pick. Who else gets to have surprise food?
-Other poor people?
I wonder what this could be, then?
Could it be spaghetti hoops?
Or beans and sausages?
Right, this one... feels a bit more lumpy. Guess what?
-Don't be stupid.
I'm not, for all we know, it could be.
I'm not eating dog food.
As if it's dog food!
Well, I wonder what this is, then.
Smells delicious, whatever it is.
..can we talk? You know, about...?
I don't want to, if that's OK.
Well, I do, all right?
Look, see these?
D'you know what keeps them up there? A good bra.
Without it, they'd be a lot lower and you wouldn't have been so keen.
-We're all getting older.
-I don't want to talk about it, all right?
Which is why we have to compensate.
I bought you these.
They're herbal and they work, well, so I'm told.
You just take one and 40 minutes later...
I don't need those, OK? It was a one-off, I'm fine.
OK, good, well, um...
..shouldn't be any problems tonight, then.
Mandy, look, I've got to do the VAT and stuff.
-I'm not going to be in the mood after that.
No, I mean, that's just great, Ian.
This is it, is it?
You just avoid the situation and I get frustrated?
It's like we've been married 30 years.
You know what? Get a grip Ian, all right?
Because if there is a problem, then sort it,
cos I for one - I need some excitement in my life.
No-one's even ordered fish.
It's not for tonight, it's for tomorrow.
It's a big day for fish, it's Good Friday.
Then, why couldn't you do it in the morning?
Probably, since I get paid more per hour than you do,
it's cheaper if you do it.
-OK, kids, here you go.
Are you calling me cheap?
-Er, what are they doing here?
Look, they were hungry, all right? Don't make a fuss.
-You all right, B?
-Alfie, you seen my kids?
Erm, the kids?
Yeah, yeah, listen, they're just in the hallway,
having something to eat.
-Yeah, I bet they are.
-No, they're fine, darling.
-Bianca, all right. Don't, don't...
-It's just chicken and chips, you know?
You know, whatever you want,
whenever you fancy some for yourself.
-..I found a letter in Morgan's school bag.
-He's been picked for the football team.
-So, if you want to help us out,
he does need a new pair of football boots.
Yeah, course. Yeah, no problem.
Look, maybe I could watch him play sometime?
Yeah, look, you can take him training, if you like.
I'd really like that. Thank you.
The one you wore the night we met.
What if it is?
I remember it. I mean, you looked proper hot in it.
-You still do.
Well, you've let yourself go.
Come on, kids, let's go. Home.
-You're welcome, Son.
-Oh, come on.
-Greens are good for you.
-So, where's Billy?
-He can't make it.
-What do you mean, "Can't make it"?
Well, he's got a hospital appointment.
No, it's not him, it's his granddaughter.
She's, you know, she's got to do a scan
or one of these 'natal classes or something.
15 and up the duff. That's what's wrong with this country.
I thought he was looking a bit shifty this afternoon.
-What's his game?
-No, no, no, no. It's not a game.
-He's doing right by the girl.
Well, so who are you going to get? Better be someone we can trust.
Yeah, well, I don't know about trust, but I've got someone in mind,
but he might have done a few dodgy things in his time.
It's like I said earlier, right?
I can't afford anything to go wrong any more.
Neither can you, Derek.
You know, neither of us like prison food, do we?
So, erm, it's your call.
It's her fault you're being like this.
No, it's me.
WHY are you being like this?
Look, I'm sorry, Lucy, if my life annoys you,
but that is what it is, OK? It's my life.
You're only going to be here for another year or so,
and you'll make your first million
or find some nice fella and drive off into the sunset.
I'm stuck here till they cart me off to the cemetery.
You know the really sad thing?
I even know where they'll bury me.
Little plot between my dad and my gran.
It's so close, I could probably walk to it.
Dad, you need to snap out of this.
Think of Bobby.
What about Bobby?
Well, do you think he wants to see you like this?
-Dad, you're his hero.
Yeah, of course you are.
Look, you need to open your eyes
and realise it all went wrong with Mandy.
No, it was going wrong before that.
I guess it went wrong when Jane left.
Do you miss her?
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know, OK? Maybe I do.
Tell you what I have missed, though, and I've realised it this week,
I've missed being in the caff.
It's... Being back at the heart of everything, it was...
Yeah, that's it.
-I need to get the caff back off Phil.
-I doubt he's going to sell it.
If I make him a good enough offer, he will, he's bound to.
Lucy, that is what it is. We need the caff back -
it'll give us back the excitement that we've missed.
Yes, well, you've seen now, haven't you? And I'm fine.
Yes, but, Dot, it's at times like this that you need...
What? Your friends? Is that what you was going to say?
We ain't friends, are we?
We're neighbours. I always say hello.
Well, Heather was a true friend.
We shared things, you know, happy times, sad times.
There was more of the sad times than happy times,
but that's what friends are for, aren't they?
And now, she's dead
and you all feel bad and you want to help.
Well, I'm sorry, but it's a shame
that you didn't help her when she was alive.
Fine. Next time, I won't bother.
KNOCK AT DOOR Who is it now? What do you want?
-Oh, hello, Vicar.
-Mrs Branning, is this a good time?
Oh. Yes, yes, of course, of course.
-Is your sister...?
-What, Rose? No, she ain't here.
-Is it her you wanted to see?
-Oh, no, no, I've come to see you.
Oh, well, what can I do for you?
Well, you can make me a cup of tea
and then maybe find me a nice slice of your cake
and then run me a bowl of tepid water.
So, where is he, then? You sure you got the right place?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, course I have.
This is weird, cos, well,
Trev, he text to say that he was here, you know.
Nah, something's not right. I can sense it.
Let's leave it, Alfie. Alfie, leave it. Come on, pull off.
-No, no, no, look.
There he is. That's him.
-All right? Trevor, this is...
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
So, where's the van?
I've just got a gun stuck in my face.
-Couple of blokes.
Car pulled up, I thought it was you.
Next thing, they order me out the van, driving off with it.
-It was only a few minutes ago.
-Are you all right?
Course he's all right. He's alive, ain't he? I don't believe this.
No. I told you something wasn't right.
You know who this is down to, don't you?
Phil Mitchell, hmm?
This has got his name written all over it.
Hospital appointment. I knew we couldn't trust Billy.
No, no, Billy...Billy's fine.
-There's no maybes about it, Alfie.
I told him the line was drawn.
Well, now, he's just crossed it.
You know, you've weighed very heavily on my heart,
these last few days.
I had hoped you'd come to church as planned.
Yes, well, I've been busy.
Of course. So I thought to myself,
"If she can't come to the church, the church shall come to her."
But there is no need.
Well, I'm sorry to disagree with you, Mrs Branning, but I think there is.
If there was any time in your life to let your faith slip,
-it certainly isn't now.
Friendship is one of the most important things in anyone's life.
Jesus knows what it was like to lose a close friend.
Not in such circumstances as yourself,
but tragic nonetheless.
Yes, I suppose.
And on this very night,
the night he was betrayed in the Garden of Gethsemane,
betrayed by someone he loved.
let me wash your feet.
No. No, I ain't worthy.
It's a Maundy Thursday tradition, Mrs Branning.
I ain't got pretty feet.
-Mrs Branning, I'm sure they're beautiful in Jesus's eyes.
The real reason you were feeding the kids
-is that you want to get back with the mother.
-Kimberley, Kimberley, Kimberley.
-Don't "Kimberley" me.
-Oooh, I like you jealous.
-I'm not jealous.
You know, babe, it's perfectly fine, you know. Totally understandable.
Just don't take it out on the fish, yeah?
No, babe, you've got to cut it through, don't hack at it.
-Here, let me. Come on.
-I don't need showing.
-Emergency! Emergency! Help!
-What? What? Kim?
-I didn't mean to, it was an accident.
-I cut off Ray's finger!
"After they had eaten, Jesus poured water into a basin
"and began to wash his disciples' feet.
"Afterwards, he dried them with a towel."
"Simon Peter says unto him, 'Lord, not my feet only,
" 'but also my hands and my head.' "
She...she... she was the sweetest girl.
She wouldn't hurt a fly.
She struggled all her life...
but she had the biggest smile.
And that little boy...
That little boy'll never know what a wonderful mother she was.
Emergency! Emergency! We need a doctor!
There's a man dying!
-So, what do I get?
-Well, if Morgan's getting football boots, I want something.
What? When one gets a present, the other does too.
But the thing is...
The thing is we're poor and our TV don't even work.
But Morgan gets what he wants cos his dad's here
and I don't cos mine's gone!
-No, no! It's not like that.
-Yes, it is! I hate you!
-I hate all of you!
-Oi, spoilt little madam.
No, she's not, though, is she?
-She ain't had nothing for months.
She needs a new coat, her shoes are too small.
Right, come on David Beckham, bath time.
Hello? Yeah, I'm looking for a short term loan.
No. No, I haven't had one off you yet.
Well, I just need enough for a new telly.
Yeah, that's great.
Well, I was thinking,
well, you know, like, one of them plasma ones.
I will never pick up a knife again.
Look, it was an accident.
You heard what the nurse said, man, it was just the tip,
they'll be able to sew it back on again.
I was fine cutting that fish on my own, you know.
So, what? It's my fault for getting in the way?
-Actually, yes, it is your fault.
Flirting with Bianca.
Look, I flirt with all women, all right? It's part of who I am.
Your finger ain't part of who you are now though, is it?
You need to calm down. You're getting a bit too worked up.
You know what? I'm fine, yeah?
I'm just hot.
So, if you're hot, put some ice on your neck then, innit.
I touched it!
-But you don't know it was Phil.
-Well, who else could it be, Alf? Eh?
Erm. I don't know, anyone.
No, not anyone, Alf. Come on, wake up and smell the coffee, mate.
Phil Mitchell nicked that booze, our booze.
12 grand's worth.
So what you going to do then?
I'm going to think on it. Hm?
That's the difference between me and him.
He's all action and no brains.
I'm going to think on it and then I'll pounce.
You're not well, are you? You've gone very quiet.
I was just thinking about what you said about flirting with all women.
Why do you do that?
Well, from what I hear, you do the same.
Ask yourself the same question.
Look, I know why I do it, but I just want to know why you do.
I don't know. I just do.
Well, you shouldn't.
Cos if you're flirting with everyone,
how's a girl to know if you really like her?
Wait. You chop off my finger
and then you tell me how I should and shouldn't be?
You are some piece of work, you know that?
-I ain't a piece of work, you know.
-Yes, you are.
-No, I ain't.
-Yes, you are.
Cos you're just trying to get me to tell you how much I like you,
which is kind of insulting,
considering it's pretty clear that I do.
Why else do you think I swung it
so, that way, you'd have to spend the evening in the kitchen with me?
It wasn't because I wanted to admire your new dress,
which I think makes you look cheap.
No, seriously, it annoys the hell out of me
because, you know, when you actually do open up to me,
and we actually get close
and this becomes something,
I don't want my woman walking around dressed like that.
Oh, is it hurting?
Oi! There's an injured man in here, bleeding to death.
Now, if someone don't get in here quickly, trust me,
I will show you the true meaning of Accident and Emergency, yeah?
D'you know, I love it when you get fired up.
Look, I don't know if you're playing me or not, yeah?
There, I said it.
If you're playing me, let's call it a day now, cos I...
I ain't playing you, man. I'm being 100% sincere.
What about you?
Promise not to make me jealous?
You and Bianca?
Look, she's Morgan's mum, that's all.
She can't compare with you.
This is true.
So? Did he fall for it?
Yeah, course he did.
Well done, Trev, mate, you played a blinder. Take care.
-Pleasure doing business with you.
-Nice one, Trev.
-Are you sure Derek ain't going to be suspicious?
No, he thinks Phil did it.
-What? No, Alfie, that is not good.
-Billy, Billy, Billy.
Come on, Phil can take care of himself, you know that.
As long as Derek doesn't find out it was us
that nicked his precious booze, we'll be fine, won't we?
Like I told ya...
..I'm no-one's dogsbody.
Can I see George?
I swear that was cheaper last week.
Yeah, tell me about it!
You're the one with the price gun.
(I know she agreed to a blind date the other night but she was drunk.)
(So what? Drunk, sober, she's still desperate for a man!)
(Yeah, but a blind date? Anyway, I'm not sure he'd be keen.)
(Of course he'd be keen, he's a man!
(It'll appeal to his vanity, to his carnal lusts.)
-(But what if Denise has got...
-You leave Denise to me.)
(Just make sure that you get him there for six.)
Yeah, yeah, so you put these prices up any more
-and I'll be going elsewhere.
-Yeah, you do that.
You know it's a free country.
I mean, you're paying for the convenience, aren't you, Tanya?
What's all that about?
Ah, she's moaning about two pence on a can of beans.
Have you seen what she charges for a permanent wave?
-Are you kidding?!
What, just for one car?
No, this ain't happening!
Thought you was going over the park.
He's out there, ain't he?
-Wanting to see George.
-Who was that on the phone?
The coroner's releasing Hev's body.
Four grand, they want.
Four grand for a basic funeral!
They're releasing her body?
They've said if I can't afford it then she'll have to go in a public grave with all the others!
It's like she's nothing!
I'll pay for it.
Call them back, tell them whatever you want, yeah? I'll cover it.
You'd do that for Hev?
And for you.
Rita, I promise you, darling, they will fly off the optics.
Yeah, eh, eh, that's the girl. Good girl.
Are you all right for delivery tomorrow morning, darling?
No, no, it won't be me.
No, thank you, I'm a happily married man, thank you for asking.
All right, take care, sweetheart, bye-bye. Randy old mare.
-Rita Castle, runs the Mortician's Arms.
Must be 70 if she's a day. She makes Mo look like a devout nun!
Anyway, she has got herself 12 cases.
-Look, you all right to do delivery, yeah?
-Yeah, course I am.
-Janine's out of town, so I'm my own boss. Here?
Who's this pair on the back of these 50s, eh?
-Look a right miserable couple, don't they?
is there any chance of a bit of help down there?
-Cos Kim reckons she's too traumatised to work.
-Oh, she cut off Ray's finger.
-The tip! They've sewed it back on.
They're all over each other like spotty teenagers. I told you they were right for each other.
-See, you should trust me when it comes to lurve.
-Is that right?
Right then, something is going on and I want to know what. Now.
Blimey, give her a black wig and some safari roadkill, could be Kat, couldn't it? Ow!
You've got guilt written all over your face, OK,
-and there's more money here than I've ever seen in the till.
Remember when we had the idea to fleece Derek?
-My lips are sealed.
I can't see Phil Mitchell nicking from you.
-He ain't that stupid, is he?
-Course he is.
That lot's got no respect.
I'm moving out.
What? Where did that come from?
Mitchell's been running this manor for too long.
Needs a change in management
and I won't be doing that from your sofa, will I?
I need bricks and mortar around me.
Well, if you say so. Where you going to go?
I've been thinking about that.
Carol and Bianca are always strapped for cash, aren't they?
Big house like that, no man on the premises.
Ain't right, is it?
Well, good luck if you think Bianca's going to agree to that.
Oh, here she comes.
Thinks she's the Queen of Hearts.
Oi, she's good for Max.
Jack, we're Brannings, we don't need women to be "good for us".
-You can get that.
(Oh, stop it.)
Charming, your brother, ain't he?
I'm glad I've caught you. I've got something to put to you.
Well, I have got a friend...
-..a female friend...
I don't need fixing up!
I'm not trying to fix you up!
All right, I'm trying to fix you up but...
Oh, look at you, spending every night in with Derek
fighting over the remote -
and I can guess who wins every time.
It'll do you good to get out, won't it?
And who knows what it might lead to?
What's she like, then?
She's funny, bubbly, great figure. You're going to love her.
Is that meant to be a joke?
Oh come on, when was the last time that you had any fun?
He's a lovely man. He's very tall, very dashing...
Is he very psychotic?
Are you my friend or are you not?
Well, sometimes, you know, I do wonder.
Believe me when I tell you that this man is perfectly sane.
Ah, well, if he's so perfect, why is he single?
That is a very good question!
And one that you can ask him tonight over dinner.
I suppose it does give me an excuse to get out the house.
-Kim's nursing Ray.
Well, by that I mean playing doctors and nurses.
Well, you see! Why should she have all the fun?
-But you're loaded.
-Oi, I gave you a score on Monday, didn't I?
Yes, and I spent it! It's not the 1950s any more, you know.
-20 quid's fish and chips twice!
-Has she got to be here?
Er, chill out, will you? He's told me all about you ripping off old man Branning.
-It's all right, Alf, you can trust her.
-Another 20 quid, then?
I thought I could hear your dulcet tones.
You all right, Derek?
No, I'm not, as it happens.
-Did Alfie tell you what happened last night?
-Yeah, I filled him in.
Yeah, yeah, nasty business.
Oh, and that's the first you've heard of it, was it?
Cos my instincts are telling me...
that that had a Mitchell's finger prints all over it.
-Honestly, it's got nothing to do with me.
-I told you, it's not down to Billy.
So, remind me, hm?
Where was you that meant you wasn't with us last night, eh?
Oh, I can tell you that.
Cos he wouldn't shut up about how me being pregnant
was SO inconvenient for him.
It's not my fault I have to go to stupid hospital appointments and classes, is it?
It's bad enough having a sarky midwife making comments
without this one banging on in my ear about letting you down.
"What will Derek think?"
I just told him to grow a pair...
or don't family matter?
No, family does matter.
That's a clever girl you've got there.
Very clever girl.
That's gotta be worth another 20 quid, right?
RACING COMMENTARY ON RADIO
I wondered what was keeping you quiet. Perhaps...
on this occasion, you could forego your gambling,
seeing as today is the day that Jesus was crucified for your sins.
Hello, kids, how are you?
Oi, don't be rude! Say hello to your Uncle Derek.
I've got a surprise for you two, hm? Now, close your eyes...
Close 'em. Close 'em.
Nice and tight.
-Now open them.
-BOTH: Thank you so much!
You can't open them till Sunday - you know that, don't you?
-Take 'em in the kitchen, then I can keep my eye on them.
-No trust, is there?
Take them football boots off! You'll ruin them!
So, what you after?
Oh that's nice, innit? Can't a man buy his great nephew and niece
a bit of chocolate at Easter, eh?
Oh, and that reminds me, this is for Liam.
I thought he was a bit too old for...
Oh, all right, all right, all right!
I've been thinking...
-You've got problems, right?
-I have not got problems, what...
Financial problems, hm?
And that's where I can help...you know?
-That's what families are about.
-I am not a charity.
Look, see, I've got a new telly. I don't need your money.
Yeah well, you did a few weeks ago and you do now, so drop the act, OK?
It's common knowledge round the Square that you're...
finding things a bit tight, yeah? And that's where I can help.
Actually, we could help each other.
I'm moving out of Jack's, I was thinking Pat's old room.
-No, my mum's in there.
-Surely you've got another room free, eh?
-It's what you need, a man around the house. A man of means.
-I don't need...
-I don't need a man. No, sorry.
Do you want me to say it? Really?
It's Pat, innit?
If you move so much as your Brylcreem in that room,
she would turn in her grave.
But thanks for the Easter eggs.
You know, it's the first time in days
that I feel clear in my head.
Did it help?
All that staying up all night praying, starving yourself?
It's called fasting, Cora, not starving, and yes it did.
I feel much more myself now.
I'm pleased for you.
Just for the record, I'm not mocking it.
If it helps you, it's good enough for me.
On the night that Jesus was betrayed, he stayed awake all night praying.
The vicar came round yesterday. He washed my feet.
On account of Jesus washing the disciples' feet on Maundy Thursday -
-it's a tradition.
-And he come round here?!
I didn't want him to do it at first. I didn't feel worthy.
If you're not worthy, Dot, I don't know who is.
Anyway, he prayed with me
and after he'd gone I felt something was lifted from me,
and I realised that I'd been trying to deal with everything -
you know, what happened to Heather - by myself,
and not letting Jesus in because of my anger about what had happened
to that poor dear girl.
-Course you were angry.
-And so I decided to give it all over to him.
All my hurt, and confusion and my anger...
and listen to what He wanted me to do.
-And has He told you what He wants you to do?
Yes, He has.
KNOCK ON DOOR
Oh, Bianca, I'm so sorry, I'm just going out.
That's all right, Dot, I was just quickly popping in to get my wages.
Your wages? What wages?
-For the laundrette.
I thought you was just helping out - I never realised you wanted paying.
Of course I was just helping you out.
Course I was, Dot. I was only, erm...
Well, I was just popping by just to say, er...
I just don't think I'm going to have time to do it again. Sorry.
Look, George, I'm sorry.
I know you don't understand but...I am sorry.
-She's having a shower.
-Dad, I can't ignore him.
-Well, you're going to have to, ain't you?
-He won't be here for much longer, anyway.
-You spoken to Darren?
-I'm working on it.
Shirley needs to move on and you need to keep your mouth shut.
She's going to kill you, you know that, don't you?
You can't tell her. She can't find out.
-You all right, Bianca?
-All right, Jack.
-Oh, look, you've missed a bit there!
-Yeah, very funny.
What are you two doing out here gossiping? You wouldn't think you got a new telly in there.
Morgan's ripped his football boots!
What?! Oh, you can't have! You've only had them two minutes!
I told him to be careful but he never listens to me.
-I bashed my foot! It hurts.
Look! Do you know how much they cost? Do you?
Well, you can forget about joining the team as well
because I can't afford to buy you another pair!
Didn't think I'd see your face around here again.
Not after what happened in the Vic.
Yes, well, I'll come straight to the point.
I've come to offer my services. You know, with the funeral.
-You know, when Heather's...
-They released her this morning.
Oh, well, of course they would've done cos that's why He told me to come.
-What are you doing?!
Listen, I didn't see you.
-Oh, right, you think this is funny, do you?
-You did this on purpose!
-Just because I poached your builder!
-No, I swear, all right, I didn't see you.
-I've just had my hair done!
You know what? You're going to pay for this.
I swear to ya!
I didn't know George Michael wrote so many songs.
I mean, we don't want nothing jazzy.
Although, I suppose there's nothing to say
that a funeral shouldn't be joyous
but not when you're walking the coffin in.
I should know what she would've wanted.
I should've known what she'd have wanted without thinking.
Well, maybe you're thinking too much, Shirley.
Let's leave it, eh?
And then chances are that it'll come to you in the middle of the night.
That's what happens, I lose something, I wander round looking for it
and then three o'clock in the morning I sit bolt upright in bed
and remember where I put it by mistake -
in the fridge.
You know, there was one.
Not that you'd know of it, but...
she used to say that the words, they spoke to her.
I'm supposed to be her best mate!
She would've known what I'd have wanted!
Yes, well that's cos she cared.
Well, that ain't to say that you didn't care...
but she was interested.
I mean, she used to buy me squashed fly biscuits for my birthday
cos she knew they were my favourite, you know.
Every year without fail.
And then she'd sit down and scoff the lot.
She'd hardly leave me one to dunk in my tea!
Everyone knows how much you cared for her.
You got it from Tamwar?
Yeah, just now.
I suppose that leaves it to me to break the news.
What are you going to say?
I don't know, but...
Well, once we get the funeral out the way
and George goes to live with Darren, things will get back to normal.
Darren? Darren, yeah, it's Phil Mitchell.
The thing is, we've been trying to ring for the last few days. Only...
Well, there's a bit of bad news.
You need to get back to England.
You could have used your key.
I, erm, didn't want to.
I just wanted to pick up the last of my stuff
and leave before Auntie Dot gets back.
How are you?
Talking to me.
Most people don't.
They shout stuff at me but they, erm...
They don't talk.
It's a mess!
How's your mum?
She thinks we should go back to Southend...
but I ain't running away.
Is that Auntie Dot?
-I've just been over to Shirley's...
I don't want no rows.
I'm just picking some stuff up. I ain't going to stick around.
How did you get on with the funeral?
We didn't get very far.
Shirley couldn't think of a George Michael song that Heather would want.
You Have Been Loved.
It's on the Older album.
"It's a cruel world
"We've so much to lose
"And what we have to learn
"We rarely choose."
I'll just get my stuff and I'll be out of your hair.
-Ooh, look at you, making an effort! To try and look nice!
Where is he, then?
Oh, he hasn't arrived yet. Please.
I tell you what, Zee.
If I get stood up tonight you'll never hear the end of it,
I'm warning you.
Here, have some chutney.
Rather have some vodka.
All right, just the one.
We don't want people thinking you're dependent on alcohol.
Oh great, that's all I need, innit?
-Jack Branning sat opposite me when I'm on a date.
-I'm here to meet someone.
Here she is! Jack, this is Denise. Denise, this is Jack.
You are kidding me, aren't you?
Ow! Stop kicking, will you?
It's all right, you don't have to go.
Yeah, I do. I ain't being battered to death in the middle of a laundrette.
Oh, "charming," you said! "Kind hearted," you said!
Why don't you sit down...
-He's about as charming as a great white!
-I was told she had a sunny disposition!
-She has her moments.
Yeah, not to mention, "witty", "playful"...
-Oh, really? Playful?
I bet that's the one that got you to come tonight, innit?
What, you think I was some teenager
that you could talk into bed like my daughter?
I don't need to talk women into bed, sweetheart.
So you want playful, do you?
How's that for playful?
You've got a lot of explaining to do.
All right, you having a break?
Little one. Been shopping?
Oh, I certainly have, yes.
I've managed to pay Phil off his rent and...
I bought this.
What do you reckon, eh?
I reckon it's not your colour.
Yeah, very funny. Well done. Go on, try it on.
-Yeah, yeah, go on, try it on.
Listen, I'll stand out on the landing. Give me a shout when it's on, all right? Good girl.
I had to guess his size but I can always take them back if they're wrong.
-Oh, I saw him this morning, with his poor little torn boots, B.
I've told him he can't have new boots.
And you can't buy your way in here with a pair of football boots!
Oh, what a mess!
We don't keep no money in there!
So you come on out or I'll call the police!
What are you doing in here?
I just needed to feel close to Heather.
I've just had the social worker on the phone.
He's coming back to England.
He's going to take George.
What am I going to do?
Come here, come here.
I need to tell Dot.
-Wowa, wowa, wow-wee! Yes! Wow.
It's good, it's good... It's a little bit big
but it doesn't matter cos you can't tell.
It needs to be a bit bigger, but I think she's going to love it.
Do you think she'll like the colour?
Yeah, I think it's perfect.
Yeah, that's what I thought, you see. I wasn't 100%, but I am now.
Listen, thanks for trying it on, darling.
That'll put a smile on her face. Right, do you want a cup of tea?
She should be here, now...
fussing about George...
telling me about her day.
Same old Heather...
..only with a wedding ring on her finger.
-A ring that I put on her.
Yeah, "well" what?
You might think I killed her.
I don't care.
I don't care about anything.
My life's over.
No, it isn't.
..and she was my life.
You only knew her five minutes.
She was my life after five seconds!
You don't get it, do you?
I've never been like other blokes.
I've never had much success with women.
Never even know what to say to them.
Then she comes along and she gets me...and I get her...
And we know.
we have to be together. We both knew that.
Now we can't...
..cos she's gone.
And I don't care that people think I killed her.
I don't, really.
Because whoever did kill her...
killed me too.
That's just silly talk.
What do you know about it?
You've never had love like that, have you?
My dad treated you like a door mat.
-What do you know about it!
-I know that he left you for your sister.
Shows you how much he thought of you.
And you told Mum you only married Jim for companionship.
Well, that ain't true. She's wrong! I love Jim!
It breaks my heart that we can't be together no more!
If that was Heather in a home, I'd be there every minute I could be!
I'd sleep on the floor of her room just to breathe the same air as her.
What am I going to do without her, Auntie Dot?
It breaks your heart, doesn't it?
When you love someone and you can't be with them.
What are you doing with him?
I can go where I like. The police released me.
Yeah, well, don't kid yourself,
-you'll be back behind bars soon enough.
I believe him. He didn't kill her.
I mean, look at him. He loved her too much.
-You what? Yes, he did!
-No, he didn't. I know it, I feel it.
He loved her as much as you and me loved her. Perhaps more.
No, he never, Dot!
Don't fall for his pack of lies.
They're not lies!
I know he is.
I don't care what you think any more, Dot.
But one thing is crystal clear -
you believe him and you were never Heather's friend.
You keep away from the funeral. You hear me?
Both of you!
A poker game between the males of Albert Square separates the men from the boys. But as the stakes are raised, who will come up trumps: Phil, or Derek? Across the road, there are surprising revelations at the newly reformed book club, while Roxy comes to a shocking realisation about her feelings for one particular individual. Dot's conviction about Andrew's guilt starts to waver in the face of his declaration of undying love for Heather, while Ian finally tracks Mandy down and begs her to return home by offering back her engagement ring.