Linda struggles to deal with her feelings after discovering a secret. Ian has difficulty coping with his past, and Max tries to cut his ties with Kirsty once and for all.
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MAN SPEAKS ON TV
Dad, what are you doing up?
It's, like, half five.
-Yeah, monkfish. For the new menu.
There's a new menu?
Yeah. We need a new menu. Need to keep it fresh, different.
There's all these websites out there -
bloggers, reviews, where to eat in London,
we need to be on there somewhere.
I'm going to close the restaurant at lunchtime,
so I can concentrate on getting this menu up and running, OK?
Now, what do you think, monkfish or halibut?
Yes, yes, turbot.
Herbert the Turbot.
It's all good. All good.
We don't have to tell her.
She'll be fine, but don't do sudden with your mum.
-I have to pick my moment.
-Stop stealing my dressing gown.
She won't want to know.
She's your mum, she loves you. I'll sort it.
Bobby, shift it!
Brass monkeys out there.
Oh, Pete, you got any kumquats?
-No. Funnily enough, I don't.
-Right, I'm off.
No, no, no. No, you're going to take Bobby to school.
I've got to sort all these ingredients for the menu.
Last night we agreed that you were going to take Bobby to school
-cos I'm busy at the B&B.
-Well, I'm busy too.
What, looking for kumquats?
-I've got bloggers to get into...
-And you've got a son
-that needs taking to school.
-Look, I'm really sorry, I'm busy.
-It's fine, I can take him.
Perks of being the boss.
Great, OK, I'm going to need texts.
-I need to know what we want for food tonight, OK?
See you later.
Something's not right.
Maybe he just needs to talk to someone.
-It's not like we haven't all tried.
-Not all of us.
Come on, skiver, holiday's over.
-How long till Kim's back?
Just call me when you get this, Carl...
Oh, yeah, yeah, you'll get the rent ASAP.
No, no. Wait up.
-Patrick's back, though, ain't he?
What's the betting he hasn't even sorted out the breakfast yet?
You know what? I sort that lot out at the house, I've got all this...
-I love being me.
Ian's helping out, though, right?
It's what couples do - support each other.
Thanks for the post.
You've done us both jam.
I want you to see what you can sort with some ready meals.
We need something coming out of that kitchen ASAP.
Dad, it's fine...
I don't know, lasagnes, curries, easy stuff. But decent...
The boy don't eat jam, he never has...
It's time he started.
Do you want me to do you some fresh with peanut butter?
This ain't a B&B. It's toast and jam or nothing.
What's going on, Bill? Listen, Bill, just give up, bro.
Don't you know she's from Lesbos?
Not the other night, she weren't.
-What, you and her?
Well, you know what they say, Dex. Nine times out of ten,
it's just cos they ain't met the right bloke, you know?
-You got the decorators in?
Your time of the month, is it?
These? These are not for me, these are for Lola.
Yeah, course they are.
Bill, don't look so down, you're probably just PMT-ing.
Well, at least she didn't punch me, did she?
Do you want me to finish that?
Maybe you should come and sit down,
because there's some stuff we need to talk about.
-I heard you. I heard everything,
and no, I don't want to talk about it
because I know my kids and he is not...
He's not like that.
Just give her time.
Tina. Tina, I was thinking
maybe me and you could go for a drink?
You want to buy me a drink, that's fine by me.
See, I knew it.
No, as a mate. We've done all this the other night.
It was a mistake.
Don't waste your energy on me, you're a decent bloke.
Yeah. Lonely loser, more like.
Cut it out with all the self-pity. You ain't no loser.
Shirl's told me loads about what you've done for Lola and Lexi.
You deserve someone, it's just not me.
See you around.
Peter, how could you forget to pick up the carrots?
-I forgot, I'm sorry.
-They're our bestseller. What's going to happen?
A punter comes, wants to buy some, we haven't got any -
We lose customers.
Are you happy to have your granddaughter
mix with that lot, are you?
-Peter, you need to keep on top of things.
I got distracted, all right? I'm sorry.
Look, it's just some carrots.
I run successful businesses, OK?
I keep on top of things. It matters.
It should matter to you. Well, does it?
Yeah, course it does.
Look, Peter knows he's messed up.
Look, I haven't got the time to check you know how to run the stall.
Look, come on, let's leave him to it. He can sort it.
Come on, let's go. Come on.
-She's seen us.
-Yeah, I know. Don't make eye contact.
Dad, shouldn't you say something?
How the hell am I supposed to find stuff?
Well, I did tell you to label the boxes, didn't I?
Do you want to come with me, sort stuff for the pub food?
She will come round, it's just the shock.
And I know who to thank for that.
So the whole thing with the jam...
that's your way of dealing with it, is it?
Making a point of treating the boy different?
I should have told you straightaway but it's still our Johnny,
-what is your problem?
-I haven't got one.
Ah! What are you doing?
You said you were tidying up this morning.
-I can't believe you.
It's 11 o'clock and some of us have already done a day's work.
-Where are you going?
Oh, another bout of doing nothing?
For a job interview. Sorry.
Ignoring it isn't going to make it go away.
No, cos it ain't working with you.
Your son is gay, he hasn't got a cold or anything.
You do know that's a pretty permanent thing? There's no cream for it.
No wonder he found it difficult to talk to you,
cos when I spoke to him, he was pretty desperate.
What do you mean, when you spoke to him?
The boy needed support.
I told you - when it comes to my kids,
wind that scraggy neck of yours in.
-Oh, do me a favour.
-You keep out of their lives.
Oh, behave yourself. Your own son was too scared
to tell you that he was gay.
the perfect caring mother.
Right, let's get the drawbridge down and let the hordes in.
What have you said to her?
..that hasn't been said before.
So was it in the face?
So could we do, say, 20 of these and the same with the curries?
Like a proper punch?
It was hardly a punch, I just...
Can we do the food?
You'll have to deal with my dad, I'm just covering for an hour.
-All right, but we could sort something?
-Don't see why not.
Well, I'll get my dad to speak to your dad.
-Nice to meet you.
He was all over the place, he had a right go at me.
Do you want to go and find him?
No, it's fine. He's with Sharon.
He's got himself all worked up about the menu and about...
Look, it doesn't matter, does it?
Oi, stop stressing about this.
It does matter. He is your dad, all right?
Go and make sure he's all right
and let me concentrate on getting us our own place.
I'm thinking something with a bit of crunch in it.
-I was thinking beans. French beans? What do you think, Sharon?
-Right, beans it is, then.
-Turbot, celeriac, peas.
Beans, it's all good, Ian. But you've got to slow down.
What, and do what? Let things get on top of me? I can't do that, Sharon.
I've got to get these menus right for the bloggers, OK?
Maybe there's nothing wrong with the menu, Ian.
Maybe there's other stuff that needs sorting.
Setting up in your own place, it's tough, you know.
Yeah, we know that, Pops.
That's why we're going to go private first.
You serious? There's no way he can afford that.
Well, I'm not going to let Lola and Lexi go without, am I?
I'll do whatever it takes. I'll get night shifts, extra work.
I mean, there's work out there, you've just got to find it.
Oh, come on, Pops, I was going to tell you when we found a place.
I wasn't going to just leave you, I wouldn't do that to you.
I just don't see why you've got to move out.
Because we want to be together.
Why doesn't Peter move in with us, then?
-There you go, winkle.
-Ta, mate. Keep that.
Thank you very much.
-Don't worry, I'm not here for you.
-I'm not interested, all right?
-I'm avoiding Lucy.
-I said you'd speak to her dad.
-I want her out.
Hold on a minute, sweetheart. What do you mean, out?
The food was really good.
I don't want you working here, you're sacked.
-What? Is she the boss now?
-I run this place.
I decide who does and doesn't get to work here.
Can we take this upstairs, please?
I want her out of my pub.
Your pub? You wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for me.
Do we have to do this... Please, Mum....
Don't you ever tell me how to behave in my pub.
It's our pub, it's the family's.
Yeah, exactly, our family, that's me, you and the kids -
it don't include old Bagpuss here.
Listen to it, kicking off.
Just because she just found out that her precious little boy is gay?
And it's no wonder, is it? With a mother like you.
-I shouldn't have shouted at Peter like that.
-He'll be fine.
I'm having a go at him over Lola,
-and then I'm shouting at him over carrots.
-It's a difficult time...
Yeah. Made worse by Phil.
Oh, that's not fair.
You can't blame him if you let stuff build up rather than deal with it.
He's the one who's laying down the law, shouting the odds.
-He's being protective.
Ian, come on, you know what he's like.
If the two of you just talked, then...
Yeah, right, like that's going to happen.
I'm shouting at Peter, Cindy's due back,
-and me and Denise, we're all over the place...
-You can't pin that on Phil.
I just want...
I just want everything to be quiet.
Everyone just to shut up. Just for two minutes.
I just want some quiet, that's all.
-You looking for Carl?
-Yeah, could I just...
-No, love, he's not here. I've moved in now.
-What? He's gone?
-Well, if he ain't,
he's playing a very good game of hide and seek up there.
-Where, where's he gone?
I heard he done a runner and I got lucky with the flat.
And if you do see him,
tell him he's got an unpaid electric bill, will you?
You ain't got a bowl of sugar for a new neighbour?
-You've moved in here?
-Or some coffee?
We could do that advert where I keep popping round.
Why would you do this? Why have you moved into the Square?
Because of you.
I want to be close to you. I've done this for you and the kids.
Well, I suggest get your deposit back, Terry, cos I'm not interested.
Oi, stop pushing in. Vodka, please.
What's wrong? Bad news?
Yeah, something like that.
You going to stop giving me evils or what?
Nothing like a public outing to make a bloke feel good about himself.
You done with that?
-Yes, handsome, what can I get you?
You know, I love this pub.
-That's lucky, innit?
-I really do.
You only have to walk in here and there's a familiar face.
I love the Square. It's my home.
Seriously, if you don't stop sulking I will punch you again.
-That's on me.
What are you doing?
I want to see you.
-What's the matter?
She'll get over it.
Yeah, she was just bursting to hug me.
What, and that's what you was expecting?
Gordon Bennett, boy,
you want to cut those apron strings before they strangle you.
We agreed, you don't come in the pub.
I ain't playing stupid games any more.
My dad sees you, he will lose his nut.
-I can handle him.
-Of course you can.
-We can't sneak about like this for ever.
-We've just got to be a bit clever about it.
-I ain't going nowhere.
-I mean it. If I can't come up there, then I'm staying out here.
-The B&B over there.
Don't be stupid.
I've had you snatched away from me once,
I ain't letting that happen again.
I'm staying put and if your old man don't like it, he can stick it.
-There you go, babe.
-Cheers. Stick it down there.
I was going to ask her to marry me.
-Yeah, I bought a ring and everything.
A new one, not one of the ones I've had thrown back at me in the past.
We've done pretty well between us.
-I think the only people we haven't married is each other.
You were never my type.
Oh! You fancied me rotten when we were spotty teenagers.
No, that wasn't me.
We went out together, don't forget, all those little poems...
Look, I was a teenager, I fancied everyone.
So you said "Was." "Was going to ask her."
At Christmas, it was going to be a surprise.
She was, uh...
talking to Patrick and he told her.
Told her what?
-Told her I was going to ask, so I backed off.
If she knew I was going to ask, it wouldn't be a surprise,
I wouldn't know if her response was genuine.
-She'd only say yes if she wanted to.
-I wouldn't know if she meant it.
-Sharon, all right, I'm not stupid, OK?
I know I'm not some fantastic catch,
but...I'm a good man, I am.
Yeah, course you are.
Well, has she said anything
about knowing what you were going to do, hinted at it?
I mean, to be honest, you and Denise,
I don't think anyone saw that coming. I certainly didn't.
-Yeah, I know. But it works.
This is someone you were going to ask to marry you, not a new car.
Well, do you love her?
So, she knows you were going to ask her to marry you
and she's said nothing?
You need to confront it, not mope around feeling sorry for yourself.
-Oh, thanks, you're supposed to be my mate.
-I am your mate.
So why are you telling me to go round there and chase her off?
Ian, that is not what I mean.
Why do you always have to turn things around,
think everyone's against you?
No wonder you got ill.
Ian...Ian, I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean that.
Mick, I need those shifts back.
Shouting your mouth off was hardly the brightest idea.
Oh, come on, she's got a rod so far up her bum
she could be a ride on the merry-go-round.
It's a lot for her to deal with.
Throwing your toys out of the pram, that's dealing with it, is it?
I just don't need you gobbing off, it's not helping.
There you are.
Oh, big, successful brother in the building.
I thought I might find you here.
Brother, brother. My big brother.
You know, getting drunk, that's not the way.
Judge not lest ye be judged...
Look, it doesn't matter. It was just an interview.
-It's no big deal, there'll be others.
-No, there won't.
-Don't be daft, of course there will.
No. Not for a while.
Why? Why wouldn't there be?
Something bad's happened.
I was offered the job, the best job I've ever been offered.
That's great news, isn't it?
It's in Birmingham.
Pete, give us one of them. Cheers.
Oi. You all right?
Guess what? Pops is going to treat us to a takeaway tonight...
Are you sure he's all right about this,
he's not just doing it cos he don't want to lose you?
Yeah, maybe, but that's what families do, they help each other out.
Yeah, not all family does, though.
Well, let's tell him, yeah? Phil, come here.
-I want to tell you something.
-Tell me what?
We want you to know that me and Peter are back together again.
And here's some more news.
We're going to be together properly, cos Pops asked Peter to move in.
Didn't you, Pops?
-Ian, I was only trying to help.
-You think it's easy being me?
I'm 44 and I'm scared of having my head shoved down the bog
-by the bloke you reckon you love.
To top it all, I'm running around in circles scared
-I'm going to have another breakdown.
-Of course you're not.
What I do know is Denise might not be that mad on me,
she might not be the love of my life,
but she's the one stable thing that I've got in my life.
So I'm going to cling on to it.
Phil, will you just listen to me?
You should be putting a stop to it.
-Yeah, and Lexi's my family, ain't she?
Oh, and you think this loser can provide for you, do you?
-Yeah, I can.
-He is not a loser.
-Oh, do me a favour.
-You know what?
I don't even know why I'm even bothering with you
because this is sorted, OK? Right, Pops?
I'm not having my granddaughter brought up by a Beale.
She's my granddaughter, she's my life
and what was it you always tell me, Phil, eh?
You never turn your back on your family.
He is not...NOT moving in.
Yeah, they look nice.
Cute on her, wouldn't it?
Wish I could wear...
-I told you, I'm not interested.
-You got any towels?
Do I look like I sell towels?
-So you don't do towels?
-Are you having a laugh?
-You've got no towels?
-Are you for real?
No, I don't do towels. No. I do not sell towels.
We've got towels.
Is that it? Is that you trying to win me round?
Asking for towels?
What are you playing at?
The long game, son, the LONG game.
Ah, just the lady. I was hoping I was going to catch you.
Oh, yeah, the rent. Yeah, I'm good for it.
No, no, no. This came for you.
Not a late Christmas card, I take it?
Marriage - till death us do part.
Or at least until the post turns up.
TEXT MESSAGE ALERT SOUNDS
We've had a good few punters for a Monday lunchtime.
We'd have had more if we had some grub to serve them.
Yeah, well, I think Nancy, she's got some good ideas on that.
I know it's a shock.
It's not a shock.
-But, you know, all this...
-That's the whole point...
it's all because of me.
-Don't be stupid.
-He nearly died.
I've never known pain like that...
..seeing his little body...
-Just so still...
-I know. I know, darling, I know.
And then he came back. Screaming.
And that's when I knew, I knew I'd never let anything happen to him.
I'd keep him so close, I wouldn't let anything hurt him.
And nothing has.
He's still our little boy.
Him being gay, it doesn't matter.
No, you don't get it.
I've protected him his whole life, but men...
-..they'll hurt him.
He's sensitive, he's too accepting, you know,
men will just take advantage of him.
Nancy, right, she comes out fighting,
like with Wayne and the others because I taught her that, you know,
I taught her not to take any rubbish.
..I don't want him getting hurt.
Well, you're the only one hurting him.
Don't do this.
He needs us.
No. I don't want a...
a son like that.
I don't have a son like that.
I should have called.
No, it's fine. Come on through.
I'm sorry, I didn't even knock, I just barged in.
Yeah, it's just a bit of a surprise, that's all.
Yeah, I was in London shopping and I thought, well, you know,
-being so near and that.
I've just texted the kids,
-Lucy's going to swipe Bobby out of school, if that's OK?
It's good to see you.
-Yeah, I'm good. But are you...?
-Are you OK?
-Yeah, I'm fine.
Look, I can't stay for very long.
Four toilets back there to bleach...
Linda, we can't leave this hanging.
There's nothing left to say. We got a pub to run.
Right, which one of you handsome blokes needs serving?
-She did say handsome, so...
-Can I have...
Come on, now, your LL Cool J moustache, man! Come on, man.
-Like I said to Ian, I should have called.
No, it's fine.
Look at me, stood here, where's my manners?
-Tea. Yeah? You want a tea?
-Yeah, that sounds great.
Right. I'll stick the kettle on.
Oh! You got a new kettle.
Yeah, sorry, the old one weren't up to the job, was it, Ian?
-Kept cutting out before it boiled.
So, Ian never told me that you were coming.
He didn't know. I just took a chance and popped in.
Well, Jane, eh? Jane! Back in Walford!
The place looks exactly the same. Nothing changes, eh?
I tell you what, it's great, it's great to see you.
Here you are! Oh!
Look at you!
You seem to grow a foot every couple of months, don't you?
So, what do you mean you're going to turn it down?
I don't want to go to Birmingham.
Well, you must have known where the job was?
They're a big national firm.
They offered me something different to what I was being interviewed for.
Something better or something worse?
Better, a lot better.
I applied for a mechanic at their Camden set-up,
and they offered me assistant garage manager.
-I've never assistant managed...
-You've never assisted anybody.
No, but that's good, isn't it?
I mean, Syed, Christian, Yasmin, they'd love having you around.
I mean, they love chaos. They love mess.
I wasn't planning on packing my bags and going...
I like it here...with you.
So, it's a letting agency?
Not just that, it's like commercial properties,
really expensive ones as well.
And I run the whole business with Billy Mitchell.
So, I guess I'm in charge, really.
It sounds brilliant. So, you're enjoying it?
-Are you going to stay for something to eat?
-Oh, I'm not sure, Denise...
Yeah, I really love it. Negotiating with customers and making deals.
You sound just like your dad.
Except it's not just chips and bacon, it's real business.
Well, you do look the part, Lucy. Very young businesswoman, isn't she?
-Here he is, Mr Handsome.
-Come here, Jane!
You know what, I think I better be getting back to the B&B.
Oh, really? I'd love to catch up more. Will I see you before I go?
Yeah. Well, it depends on how long you're staying,
because Kim's away, and things are pretty full-on over there.
But it's been good. It's been really good to see you.
-I miss you.
-Well, I miss you more!
You know, I don't know what's wrong with Billy, but I'm telling you,
-he ain't going to get nowhere fast.
-Says Audley Harrison!
Oh, what, don't start all that! I'm talking about him, not me.
-You know what, top marks for trying, Bill.
-Leave it out, will you?
No, seriously, man, respect where respect is due.
Respect for what? What's he done?
It's more what he hasn't done, brother.
Sorry about them. Idiots.
He doesn't know when to quit does he, sweetie?
I don't know, if ever there was a bloke could turn a girl...
I won't embarrass the bloke by going into detail,
but put it this way,
there's more to Billy than meets the eye, if you know what I mean?
I don't think you should be watching that any more. No, I don't.
Aren't you going to stay?
No, I need to get back to the restaurant.
-Jane's only going to be here for a bit.
-Yeah, she came to see you kids.
If I don't see you before you go, it was good seeing you.
-I'm not rushing off.
Yeah, for a bit...
Can Mum stay, Dad?
Yeah, but she's only here for a little while.
-Peter, why don't you tell Jane about you moving out?
-Eh? What's this?
It was good seeing you again.
Oh, for crying out loud!
-You want a hand?
Er, there is a bell!
-I'm looking for a room.
Funny you should mention that...
Er, sorry. Yeah, single's good.
-OK. How long you staying for?
-As long as it takes.
Right. Stupid thing! Come on!
-Not your day, I take it?
Anywhere I can get a drink around here?
Yeah, there's a pub just across the Square.
Yeah, I was thinking more somewhere without an overprotective dad
and a shotgun. Not really my day either.
Not my week, if I'm honest.
No, that's fine, mate. I can come to you.
Don't know. About a half hour?
All right, I'll see you then. All right, cheers. Bye.
That's your copy, innit? I've already got mine.
So, I sign this, and that's it, it's done.
Yep, get them signed, put them in the post for me.
So, divorce papers, then we're finished?
Well, yeah, that's generally how it works.
But it won't, will it, Max?
We've already tried signing the last set of papers.
We can sign all the documents going,
but it won't change what we've got.
It'll always be there.
Me and you.
You coming out, or am I going to lock you in?
I've got say, sweetheart, you've got a bit of a crowd in here.
Just picking up on what you set up, sweetheart.
-Go on, on the house, those two.
-Lovely. Thank you.
NANCY CLEARS HER THROAT
-Enjoying the view?
-No, we're just having a drink.
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-She's older than she looks.
Yeah, but she has got some serious circumference, man.
-Wow, that's my mum!
-Eyes up, Fats, man, come on!
Do you reckon it's true what they say,
about the daughter and the mother, you know?
Hold tight. Wait. You and Miss Fisticuffs?
Are you serious? You don't? You do!
Listen, I know you're under it in here.
If you want to go and get a bit of fresh air, just let me know, yeah?
Same again, was it?
He's still the same boy.
Same again, sweetheart?
-So, how are you going to manage?
-We just will.
He's all loved-up - what else matters?
Er, council tax, food bills, electric...
That's why we're moving in with Billy first,
-till I get some more money coming in.
-And how's the stall going?
Yeah, it's all right, actually.
I mean, there's a bit of competition from those Pound A Bowl stalls
up on the high street, but, yeah, it's not too bad.
Apart from you close up early to see me?
Yeah, well, some things are more important.
Yeah, yeah, they are.
I stood there like some idiot.
It's not as though she's not old enough to make her own decisions.
-Well, you're both grown-ups.
Try telling that to her old man.
Coming in, telling us what we can and can't do.
Tell you what, at the end of the day,
the only people you've got to be true to is yourselves.
-That's why I'm staying put.
-Good for you.
Life's too short to spend it worrying what other people think.
What is it that you young people say, you say...
-Yeah, you only live once, innit?
It's like my sister, Kim. She's always...
wading in, telling me what she thinks of my fella.
As if I care that he's not the most...
exciting man in the world.
He's a kind man.
And don't you start, because you don't even know him.
I ain't starting nothing.
So, what's Denise said? Is she worried about him?
Denise is Denise.
What are you going to say to him?
To be honest...
I don't know.
I need another drink.
Will you pack it in?
Just because you don't need to take the edge off your life.
Everything's always perfect with me!
AJ, you made a New Year's resolution to find a new job and you have.
-A new job doesn't necessarily mean a better life.
OK, you're a grown-up.
I'm not your dad. You do what you want.
If you think getting drunk is a way of dealing with this,
you're a bigger fool than I thought.
Seriously, come on...
-I knew it wouldn't take him long.
My dad and arm wrestling - it's going to be a long night.
-Do me a favour, mate, I wouldn't want to hurt you.
I'm undefeated, all right?
I've beat geezers who are built like brick walls
and I'll tell you for why. It's all in the nut.
Right, I'll tell you what. We'll do it another time, yeah?
What's the matter with you? Dexter and Fatboy!
You look like semi-strong lads! Get yourself over here.
-I think you're in trouble, boys.
All right. Sit down there.
Everybody. Dexter and Fatboy. Arm wrestle. What do you reckon?
-What? OK, come, come...
I know. It's times like this I appreciate my life choices.
You don't see many arm-wrestling dy...gay ladies, do you?
-Yeah, and them.
No, but I know a few diesels who'd give these a run for their money.
One arm behind your back.
Let me buy you a drink?
And why would I do that?
Because you want me to sign the papers,
and I want a quick drink before I do.
-Stick another one in there, will ya?
-Come on, Fats!
-Nice one, Alf.
-Look, Fats, listen. Boy to boy.
-Please, just let me win?
-You must be mad, innit.
-Whatever you say.
Shush! The pair of you.
-I weren't ready!
-Do you know what? I'm left-handed.
-Come on, Dexter. Come on, Dexter.
So, this is the new centre of the Beale empire, is it?
Well, it's complicated.
Didn't the club across the road used to be called Scarlett's?
Fair enough. It's a bit random, but...
I'd have probably gone a bit more with the location.
-Turpin's or something like that.
Well, certainly not Scarlett's. It's not quite what I expected.
In what way?
Out there in the restaurant, it's a bit...
The colour, the decor. Those lamps... I mean, what are they about?
-And the linen, really?
-Right, so I take it you don't like it?
-It's not very you.
-Well, what is me?
You tell me.
-Why are you here, Jane?
-Peter called me.
-Elbows, Alfie, elbows.
-Go on, Alfie! Slam him!
Come on, Fats, man! Grit your teeth!
COME ON! COME ON!
He's going to be gutted he lost.
I reckon he's got his eye on your niece.
Even though she knocked him into the middle of next week?
I think that's what did it for him.
Well, he ain't got a chance, has he? She's all loved-up.
With a bloke? I mean, I'm assuming she's not another one of your mob?
No, no, it's just the two of us in our family.
-So, that's 2-1 to the Carters, innit?
Well, you Mitchells, just got Ben? Unless my hunch about Phil's right.
Well, I wouldn't say that too loud in here!
All the signs are there, ain't they?
You know, the shaved head, the "bit of rough" look.
You want to check his CD collection - any Judy Garland... Just saying!
Oh, yeah? Come on, respect, Bill.
-Eh? What was that all about?
-Ain't got a clue.
SHOUTING AND CHEERING
Who's the daddy? Eh, Fats?
Mick. Let's have it.
Yeah. Got to hold my hands up there.
I tell you what, listen. Let's liven it up, right?
We'll have some readies on it.
Head to heads, who's up for it? Come on. Readies. Come on.
I'll give it a go, if you promise not to stop when I say I submit.
Sorry, love, I don't do tag wrestling.
Oh, don't look at me, darling, he's big enough
and ugly enough to look after himself.
Come on. Who's up for it? Put your hand in your pocket.
What's happening. Let's get involved.
Go on, Shirl. Go on, Shirl. Right. Challenger for my sister.
Who's up for it? Come on.
Come on, then. Whoa, hold up. Hold up.
-That's fine by me.
-Don't. Don't do this.
Why not? It's not like I'm going to break her arm or anything.
Dad, just stop them.
If she is as strong as she is hot like fire, brother,
-this is going to be over quickly.
-Will you pack it in when I'm around?
-It's him not me, you know.
-Hey, it's her circumference, you know.
She's old enough to be your mum - she IS my mum.
Maybe back in the day, when she was flopping them out in the papers.
-What did you say?
-One minute, what did you say?
If I win, I get my job back.
I win, you move out.
So, since when is how I'm doing a concern of yours?
-I care about you, Ian.
-Yeah, I remember how much.
I don't need my son calling you, telling tales.
Peter didn't call me to tell tales - he called me because he loves you.
As do all your kids, and they are worried about you.
Right, so you drop everything and just turn up here?
To do what, Jane? I mean, why are you here?
To let you know you're not alone.
To make sure you know that your kids love you,
that your friends are concerned about you.
And I still care that you're OK.
I'm fine, OK?
I am. I'm busy, which is good.
I'm always chasing my tail. You know what I'm like.
But it's pressure, all right? It's not stress.
I mean, stress is when you're not in control.
But I am in control. Sometimes, there's times when I'm pressured...
but I'm in control...
You know, don't you?
Come on, Shirl!
-All right, Mickey, fiver on your sister?
-Go on, Shirl.
Can't take your money, mate, because who ever wins, I'm stuffed.
What do you reckon?
We could have our own little wrestle if you like...
I'd let you win.
-I have got nothing.
-Try typing in "topless" or something.
I've typed in "topless", I've typed in "naked", I got nothing...
-What you guys up to?
-We're trying to search for the treasure.
Yeah, supposedly Nancy reckons her mum used to do
-a bit of topless modelling, bruv.
Yeah, but we can't find the pictures anywhere!
Yeah, we just keep finding pictures of Lynda Carter, Wonder Woman.
Yep, I remember that. Saturday nights, back in the day.
I used to watch both of them. Right, here's the deal.
Last one to find them has to buy the other two drinks. Go.
You still here? Come on.
Come home, before Ian starts charging you rent.
I thought you weren't my dad.
No, but I am your big brother.
Yeah, and you won't let me forget it.
I wouldn't be doing my duty if I did.
So, this job, good money?
-Cheaper cost of living?
Tam and I don't want you to go -
as annoying as you are,
it's been great having you here.
So, there's only one way to decide this...
It's how you used to decide everything.
Big decision, you toss a coin.
AJ, I only want what's best for you.
Heads, you stay, tails, you go.
So, what's it to be?
Walford and the same old or Birmingham and who knows what?
-Heads, I stay, tails, I go?
Tails, I go.
Looks like I'm going to Birmingham.
-I'm with someone and guess what?
His name's Ian, only it's spelt with an extra I.
That's obviously where I went wrong, then!
Is he nice? Well, obviously he's nice.
-You and Denise, I didn't see that coming.
-No, me neither.
I'm really pleased you're with her, though.
-She's good with the kids.
Yeah, it's good.
-Yeah, it's good we're all happy, isn't it?
I'd better go.
Yeah, I've got a restaurant to run.
-Some important critic coming or something?
Bloggers? Right, well, good luck with that.
My car's parked in the Square. I'll pop in and say bye to the kids.
It's good to see you.
Are you OK?
-What's this? The search party?
-Peter said you might have gone, Mum.
Love, I do have to leave now.
But I wouldn't go without saying bye to my best boy, would I?
Bobby, we should let Jane go.
Well, I need to find my car.
Hope it hasn't been towed or clamped or something.
I'll see you soon. I promise.
Come on, we'll see her soon.
Is Dad all right?
It's not me he needs, Peter.
What do you mean?
I mean, you've got to deal with this as a family. And I am...
He's with Denise now, she's the one you need to turn to, not me.
Max, why pretend like it's not going to happen, eh?
Kirsty, please just back off, all right?
It ain't going to happen. We're done!
Tanya said you'd traded down.
-Oh, are you the bloggers?
-Sorry, I've had to close early.
-We've been invited!
-So, when did you last see her?
Move, move, move!
Is she OK?
She's more than OK, Max. She's good.
She's with someone.
This one's a keeper. Someone that treats her like she deserves.
What's the matter, Crowface, nothing left?
-Oh, I could do this all night.
There's nothing wrong with you backing down, calling it a draw...
What's this, the naughty corner or something?
No, no, just browsing... The boys were going on about Linda...
doing a Page Three kind of thing...
But we can't find the picture.
Here he is... Maximus Branning!
Mick, it's all right, mate. I got this. Let's go.
-What are you doing? You rescuing me?
-Yeah, I am, yeah. Let's go.
Nancy, sort this out for me, please.
-Right, it's a draw.
-What did you do that for?
-I was just about to win!
-Oh, wind it in.
No, you wind it in, all right? The pair of you.
No-one's interested. It's done. Shirley's back on the rota.
Listen to me, listen.
She's going to stop spouting off,
and you are going to leave her alone.
Let's focus on serving some punters, please?
Yes? Ladies and gentlemen, who ain't got a drink?
-Bobby, your bath's ready.
-I just want to finish this.
No, you're having a bath now...
Was this for me?
I will marry you.
I am in need of a coffee. You all right?
You all right?
You've got to be kidding me? What, is she upstairs right now?
Well, unless she walked back to the B&B in her bare feet.
Her shoes are in the living room.
No, please do not say anything, though, Lauren.
I can't face a row.
And he accuses me of being immature!
Wow. One of the nicest ones you've bought, Dad. Congratulations(!)
-Did I not say?
-Yes, you did, yeah.
-That you'd come out with something cynical.
I wonder if my last bridesmaid's dress will still fit?
Eh, who says you're even invited?
Anyway, it's not that big a deal.
Just think of it as our last desperate stab
at some sort of respectability.
-When's the engagement party?
-Who said we're having a party?
Actually that's not a bad idea, Lucy. I think we should do that.
I'm going to call Mick, see if we can book the Vic.
How much is that going to cost?
I'm off to work.
You know, I am actually pleased.
Out of all my mums, you're definitely...
in the top three.
Well, you're my third favourite daughter, so that makes us quits.
Aw, hello, you! Who's a beautiful boy?
It's a girl.
-Oh, sorry. Don't take it personally.
-She clearly likes you.
Normally she's very choosy about who she licks.
-Yeah, well, I'll take that as a compliment.
-What's going on here?
-He's just given me a flyer.
Looks more camp than the Girl Guides, if you ask me.
-Looks well exciting!
Really? Not really my cup of tea.
Anyway, I'll see you. Bye-bye, girl.
Excuse me, can I have a couple of them flyers?
Course you can, darling, there you go.
Nah, that's all right, mate. No, no, it is what it is.
All right, see you later.
Lauren, I've got a favour to ask you.
David's just called, he's got to slope off.
I've got to go to a car auction, so I need
someone to keep an eye on the car lot, if that's all right?
Is that all right?
-I like your jacket.
The colour's a little bit dated, but whatever.
No, that's all right. Go on, Lauren.
You got something to say, Lauren, just say it.
-Guys, do we have to...?
-When were you going to tell us, then, eh?
Probably about the same time you were going to tell me about Mum's new fella.
Yeah, and don't pretend you don't know, cos I saw Jane. She told me.
Hiya. Any of you two got a hairdryer you can lend me?
-Lauren's got a problem with you staying over last night.
-Dad! I didn't say that.
-No big deal, is it?
Geezer sleeps with his lawfully-wedded wife?
You going to watch the car lot for me or not?
I'll get you that hairdryer.
-How did you know?!
-So I'm right then?
-No, how did you know?
-Call it male intuition.
Seriously, did we say anything?
Didn't have to. You were so shocked, and not upset.
Well, not in that way. So I put two and two together...
Well, I got two.
Thanks. But don't go spreading it around, will you?
-No, course not.
-You're all right, you are.
-Tell madam that.
-She still saying no?
I'm playing the long game. Slowly, slowly, catchy monkey.
SHE LAUGHS What time do you call this?
What's that you've just give her?
-Yes, you did, I just saw you!
Look, forget that. He wants to take you out, but he's too scared.
-I never said that!
-Where to, where to?
I dunno. Round mine if you like?
-I got a new telly.
-I've got me own telly!
I'll work on her.
-Here you go.
I'll put it back in your bedroom soon as I've finished with it.
-Yeah, well, I'm going to go. So I'll see you later.
-See you later, Abs.
This is where we say, "Alone at last."
Actually, I've got all these e-mails to catch up on.
Come on, we can go back upstairs.
And this time we can make as much noise as we like.
You know you want to.
Actually, I need to get to work.
You need to dry your hair, don't you?
He's a nice bloke, what's the matter with her?
I gave up a long time ago trying to work out why
Bianca's the way she is.
-Two quid, please.
-There you are.
So he's got a bit of baggage, like she ain't.
More baggage than a jumbo jet, that girl.
Can't you say something to her?
Anything I suggest, she does the exact opposite.
-So suggest the exact opposite. See ya later.
-See ya later.
-Can I have a coffee, please?
-All right, darling.
You all right?
I know we're not together, but if you're upset...
You up for it?
-Oh, come on, it's free entry and half-price drinks till ten.
-Shirl's going, aren't you, Shirl?
-I'm going to wear my sparkly tights.
-See, how can you say no after that?
-Not really my thing.
Well, he used to say the same thing about milk when he was a little boy. Look at him now.
Nance, you have a word, he listens to you.
-I'm staying out of it.
-And so should you. Will you tell 'em, Mick?
-No, I'm with Nance.
-Just leave him alone!
Sorry, Linda, I don't understand. What's the problem?
"Since when was it such a big deal for a man to sleep
"with his lawfully-wedded wife?"
-Is that what he said?
And I'm like, "How has he got the nerve?"
-So what did you say?
It was only going to cause another argument, weren't it?
What you've got to understand is...
Can you not try and defend him, please?
I'm not saying he's not been an idiot.
But I put myself in his shoes, and I can see why.
He's just found out your mum's got a new bloke.
That's a massive kick in the teeth.
He's lonely, he's upset...
Me and you would've reached for the bottle.
He's reached for her. What's the difference?
I miss you.
Don't do this, Jake. We agreed.
Do you miss me?
HE SIGHS DEEPLY
You can say no if you want to...
..but I've got the house to myself tonight.
Sadie's taking Bella to a swimming gala.
She won't be back till around ten.
-How can I slag him off for it and then go
and do exactly the same thing?
-It's just, every time I see you...
-I said DON'T.
Best we avoid each other completely from now on then, yeah?
-I've been thinking about our engagement party.
I think we should have it at Scarlett's.
Scarlett's is too posh, Ian. People will feel uncomfortable.
But it's my place, OK? We can do what we want,
-have it as informal as we like.
-But I've already booked the Vic.
-I thought you wanted to make me happy?
Well, what's going to make me happy
is having our engagement party at the Vic.
-All right. Fine. Whatever.
See you in a bit.
What do you want?
Have I got that right? You're actually marrying him?
You've really gone and done it now, innit?
-Turned yourself into more of a challenge.
You all right to do a shift in the pub tonight?
Only Tracey wants the night off.
Shirley and Tina are still trying to get me out to this club.
And what have you said?
I just wish everybody would back off.
Here, you'll like this. I've had that Denise on the phone.
She's getting married to Ian.
Guess who they've asked to lay on the engagement party?
-You need to have a word with Shirley and Tina.
They're ganging up on Johnny, trying to
get him to go to this club opening tonight.
You do realise what kind of club it is? Don't walk away
-from me when I'm talking to you.
-We're out of scratchings.
He's vulnerable, and the last thing he needs is
-those two shoving their noses in.
-How come's the back door's open?
-I was taking out the recycling.
-Where's Lady Di?
She was down here, and you've left the back door open?
Probably disgusting, but it's only for cooking.
Never had you down as MasterChef.
Yeah, well, I'm not, but I'm making an effort.
-Me and Max are back together.
How many times does that make it now?
# Love is in the air... #
Oi, you, you either buy something or you get out.
I'm window-shopping. Checking out the merchandise.
I thought I'd made it absolutely clear to you -
-this one ain't for sale.
-But I can look, can't I?
-Everything all right, D?
-Yeah, yeah, I've got it handled, Fats.
-You sure? Cos I can...
-I don't do damsel in distress.
So knights in shining armour need not apply.
Right. You've got till I count to three.
-And then what?
-I like bossy, it turns me on.
-So come on. Do your worst.
-LADY DI BARKS
-Hey, hey, hey.
-What you doing?!
Aw, who's a beautiful girl?
I got bitten when I was a kid! I can't deal with that.
-See him? That fella over there?
Oh, don't be so ridiculous. She's a lovely dog. Ain't you, girl?
Huh? Only being friendly.
Ugh, Lady Di!
LADY DI PANTS
-What you doing here?
-Can go where I want.
Nancy don't want nothing to do with you, so what are you doing here?
-It's a shop. I'm shopping.
-Only he's not.
Sorry about this.
Oh, no, don't worry about it, she's a sweetheart.
I'll make sure it don't happen again.
Come on, girl.
Ooh. Always did like a tough guy.
Yeah, I know all that, mate.
Problem is my business partner's indisposed,
-and I need someone to watch the shop, so...
-I can do it.
Hang on, mate.
-Like you asked me to.
-I'm here, aren't I?
Yes, mate. No, scrap all that. I can be there after all.
Yes, I'll be leaving in two minutes. All right. See you then, bye.
So what's brought this on?
Well, I'm sorry about this morning. Not for me to judge.
If Mum can do it, then so can you.
So what's he like, Mum's new fella?
What's she said about him?
Kat's been trying to twist me arm all morning to change me mind.
"Terry's so kind, Terry's so nice, Terry this, Terry that."
I'm getting sick of it.
Kat wants you to go out with a nice bloke?
What a cow.
Listen, I'm on your side. None of her business.
If you don't like him, you don't have to go out with him.
-I didn't say I didn't like him.
-What, are you telling me you do now?
It's his ex-wife I don't like.
Oh, I didn't realise, she's going to be there as well?
All right, I get it.
All Kat is saying that not all men are as nasty as...Tony.
Anyway...going round his flat, ain't exactly a date, is it?
Why would I want to go to a gay club, Danny?
I dunno. Because it'll be fun.
-Yeah, for you.
-And for you.
So you're telling me that there'll be no ogling whatsoever?
Who said anything about ogling?
Well, if you want to go, you can go. Have a great time.
I don't really want to be a part of it.
Yeah, all right. OK. On one condition.
We don't talk about you-know-who.
I'll see you at half seven.
He said he's cooking. Dunno what I'm letting meself in for.
-There you go.
-What's with the book?
-None of your business.
-Is that the one Terry give you?
-Why do you care?
None of your business either,
but I've decided to go round Terry's tonight after all.
Oh, yeah? What brought that on?
Just one condition - that we don't talk about Nikki.
Good for you. No, hold on. Give that...
-You are joking!
-Give it back. Shush!
Twins?! Aw, when did you find out?
Last week, but don't tell anyone, all right?
-Not till I'm past 12 weeks.
-I bet Alfie's over the moon! Aw!
-Oh, I promise I won't say nothing,
-but just tell me everything!
Have you seen a photo of him? This "Tim"?
Tim. What sort of name is that anyway?
-So when did she first mention him?
Lauren, it's fine, you don't have to
try and spare my feelings, I just want to know.
All right. Six weeks? Two months maybe?
So it's serious then?
Must be serious, if she said to you not to mention anything.
Well, it's good, Lauren. I'm...pleased for her. It's good.
Everyone's moving on, so...it's really great, so...
Right, I'd better make a move.
Listen, I had a couple of sniffs earlier.
So if they come back, get all their details, tell 'em I'll get straight
back to 'em. But no haggling, all right? Leave that to me.
-All right, I'll see you later.
You are allowed to be unhappy, you know.
Who said I am?
See you later.
That shirt don't look right.
-Ain't you got nothing tighter?
Yes, you have, that one with the V neck.
-Why can't I just wear what I want to wear?
He just don't get it, does he? Typical man.
Maybe he needs, like, some gel in his hair or something?
Look, I've agreed to go, ain't I?
-Can you all just back off!
-What do you think you're doing?
Getting Johnny ready for his big night.
-He's working in the pub, and he knows that. Don't you, Johnny?
Mum, do you like this dress?
Got to take it back to the stall tomorrow.
You never told me what Kat said
when you told her that you'd changed your mind?
-I got a secret.
Swear you won't say nothing, promise?
-What? To do with Terry?
-Nothing to do with Terry.
That's not the big news. She's only expecting twins!
But I didn't tell you, so please, promise, swear you won't say nothing?
-No, no, how long has she known?
-End of conversation! What do you think?
I think it looks gorgeous, yeah. I am so pleased you
and Terry are getting back together and sorting out your problems.
-But, listen, just one thing that needs to finish that off.
Hang on a minute...
-He's not home yet.
He's going to be well happy. Guess what?
I've only gone and sold two cars at sticker price!
-Aw, well done.
-When did she move all that in?
< Is that you, Lauren?
-Since it's my first proper night back, thought I'd mark it.
I hope you're both hungry.
"Press OK on the remote control for the autotune to start..."
Well, I've done that!
I've done that.
TOP GEAR PLAYS ON TV
Yeah, I'm coming!
So you're married to her?
Yeah. Mick, mate, don't worry about it, it's a long story.
Surely it's a good thing you're back with her, no?
You want the truth? I only married her
cos I was lonely, and she was there.
-Stupidest thing I've ever done.
-So what are you doing back with her?
Yeah. That's the question. See you later.
-I like your earrings.
-Oh, thanks. They were me nan's.
-Me mum dug 'em out for me.
-They look fantastic.
You look fantastic, really.
ENGINES REV ON TV
What're you watching?
I wasn't really watching anything, to be honest.
I was just, eh, trying it out.
-Where's the kids?
-They're staying over at, um...
Oh. She who must not be named.
-So, do you like it?
-Yeah, it's really nice.
-Oh. Well, yeah, it's a telly.
Nice. What do you want me to say?
It'll be brilliant when I've worked it all out,
cos you can record on it and everything. Only thing is
you need a degree in computers to work out the remote.
Shall I get the wine?
-So, do we invite Winston?
-He'll just invite himself, won't he?
Make sure they all know it's only the first drink that's free.
-I had a thought...
-Do be careful, Ian.
No. About Scarlett's...
What do you think of the name "Scarlett's"?
It's all right.
I was thinking about renaming it to...
I dunno, "Turpin's". On account of it being on Turpin Road.
Yes, I do get the idea, Ian.
Thought it would give it a highwayman feel.
Well, prices are daylight robbery.
What about Tracey?
We're going now, Johnny.
Why don't you come with us if you like?
-Don't worry about your mother. I'll deal with her.
-Just go. Please.
Linda. There is one good thing to come out of all this.
Having a gay son. You'll be able to go shopping together.
You ever try anything like that again,
I'll take them sparkly tights of yours
and wrap 'em round your throat.
Are we clear?
I never had you down as a Take That fan.
-Never went for 'em meself.
All them girls wetting their knickers over 'em. Don't get it.
Bit sad really.
Oh, look, you've got a scratch on your telly.
So, take it back to the shop!
I didn't get it from a shop.
So where did you get it?
Two more minutes and I think we're there, you know.
RAIN PATTERS ON WINDOW
-Mmm, smells good.
-So tuck in!
Mmm. Didn't know you could cook.
I can't really, but it's simpler than it looks.
So, erm...how was the auction, sweetheart?
Yeah, it was all right, thanks.
Never guess what, Dad. I've only gone and sold two cars today.
What was the last thing I said to you, Lauren?
I sold them at sticker price.
Well, that's not the point.
If I tell you not to do something, Lauren,
-I don't want you to do it.
-But surely if she
-got the sticker price?
-Was I talking to you?
What is this anyway?
"Chicken chasseur." What is chicken chasseur?
Chicken in white wine.
Don't eat it, Lauren.
-It's no big deal.
-No, she's got an alcohol problem, and you're
cooking her chicken in white wine?!
What are you, brain of Britain?
-The alcohol evaporates.
-It don't evaporate!
You talking about, "evaporate"? I can smell it!
-Take it away, Kirsty, please.
We'll have something else, beans on toast or something.
Max, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking...
I just want you to take the dinner away.
Can you just take the...?
Take the dinner away!
Know what, Kirsty? I think you should leave.
So if you didn't get the telly from a shop, where did you get it?
Can't we just enjoy the food?
Don't you like it? It's me speciality.
-Used to cook it for her, did you?
-Oh, come on, Bianca, this is daft.
Where did you get the telly?
Why does it matter where
-I got a flipping telly?
-Did she give it you?
All right. She was upgrading to a 3D.
It's just a telly!
Well, you might like cast-offs, but I don't!
Get me coat.
Go on, Kirsty. Get lost.
I didn't invite you round last night cos I wanted you...
I felt sorry for myself! I'll get myself a hooker next time.
Go and play with your ex-wife's telly.
All right, I will!
Suppose we should get this cleaned up.
-I'll get a cloth.
It's his mess, he can clear it up.
What's the matter with you, Lauren?
Don't start pretending you liked her all of a sudden.
So all that was for my benefit, was it?
Where you going? Lauren?
If we invite Mo, that means we end up with Fat Elvis and Chinese Dave
and every other lowlife Walford wants to bring along.
OK, Ian, so you're saying we invite Kat and Alfie, but not Mo.
-But they live in the same house, Ian,
so how does that work out?
Do you mind not leaning against my gate?
What you going to do, clamp me?
I'd like you to move.
Cool. No problem.
See ya later, Denise.
Do you know that guy?
Oh, he must come in the shop or...
-How does he know your name?
-I don't know!
Where is it?
SHE KNOCKS ON DOOR
You still on your own?
Can I come in?
"What for?", she says! You're only getting married!
Who told you?
You did. You and Ian were talking about your engagement party.
Which Fats still hasn't got an invite to.
Come on, of course you're invited.
Anyway, right now I'm a little bit
more concerned about a lost earring.
Look, do you mean this one?
Oh. What an idiot.
An idiot for losing the earring? Or for marrying Ian?
-Wake up, everybody, rise and shine!
I'm up! How come you slept there?
Cos Tina passed out on my floor at 4am and I
was getting drunk off the fumes. MICK CONTINUES BANGING POTS
Some of us are trying not to throw up here!
-Good night, was it?
-Yeah, you missed out.
-Did you pull?
Don't ask. Your Auntie Shirl, she was a hit.
-Do I look like a lezzer?
Yes, Mick, you gorgeous man, you.
Right, you 'orrible lot. I want all hands on deck.
We've got our very first engagement party in the pub!
-Whose engagement party?
-Ian Beale. Runs that restaurant.
You know, he looks a bit like a...
A weasel? THEY LAUGH
-But it's all sorted.
-Yeah, but I've been up half the night
worrying about it. The catering's got to be top notch.
I run a restaurant, after all.
Oh, really, Ian(?) I thought you flew rockets to the moon.
You, erm...you off already?
Thought I'd take my stuff round Lola's - well, ours - before work.
-I'm only going to be round the corner.
-Yeah, I know. I know.
This is silly. I'm going to see you tonight anyway, at the Vic.
You know, you don't have to bother.
-If you're not in the mood? With the party.
-No, I am. I am.
I know you think I'm fussing, but it's our engagement party,
-I want it to be special, OK? See you in a bit.
There's no way I'm working at Ian Beale's engagement.
All right, well you can drop my car keys off at the garage.
Got a bit of fan belt trouble.
-Party bag. Next time you're coming with, OK?
-Let's have a look!
-There you go. Now, has anyone thought about food?
-KNOCK ON DOOR
-We're not open until 11, mate.
-All right? It's about tonight.
Yeah, yeah. My fiancee, Denise,
she made the booking, which would have been fine in Alfie's time,
but I need a few more details before I can finalise the reservation.
-Yeah, who's the chef?
That'd be me.
Right. What're you planning on cooking?
Well, we usually do sandwiches. Right, Mick?
Look, you might not have heard of me,
I've got quite a reputation round here, no offence,
but people will be expecting a bit more than cheese and pickle.
Really? Well, maybe you haven't heard of me yet,
-but I'm not the sort of woman you want to...
-The thing is, Ian,
we've been in the pub game about 20 years. We know a thing or two
about throwing a party. No disrespect to Alfie, but I'm
the guvnor now and I think you're going to love the way we run things.
So, why don't we have a sit down, we'll have a nice cuppa tea
and we'll all work out a menu we can agree on. Yeah?
-All right, Lauren? Where'd you get to last night?
-It's a car, Max, not a woman.
-Yeah, this motor will do more for
business than any woman ever could.
Dad! I find that statement insulting on many levels.
-Nice to see you've taken my advice, Max.
-What's that, then?
The niche car market, I mentioned it a few weeks back.
Finally swallowed your pride, eh? Good man.
He reminds me of someone.
-Ain't you got the message yet?
I just thought that if we both slept on it...?
What? You thought I might just forget the last year ever happened?
Look, I'm skint, Max. The B&B's still after a week's deposit.
You found a way out of that problem last time.
Yeah, but we are technically still married!
Well, we ain't married, Kirsty. We're not!
Not if you sign the papers, we ain't.
What am I supposed to do?
You just chucked me out like a piece of rubbish.
I'm a person! I have needs!
-All you're going to get.
-Well, we're looking forward to it.
-Where are you sourcing the ingredients from?
-Because seasonal produce is a must.
And we've got a very special arrangement with our supplier.
-Don't you worry about that, Ian.
-OK. Mick, pleasure to finally meet you.
Just close the door on your way out, yeah?
-When you said about "the supplier" you meant the shop next door, innit?
How are we going to get all this done, eh?!
I can't even say half this stuff.
I mean what's a blinny when it's at home?!
Blini. Don't worry, I'll help you, Mum.
You and me make a crack team. SHE SIGHS
-There you go, love. Cheers.
-So, you just up and left?
-Too right I did. Swiped the remote an' all.
-What did you do that for?
Should've heard him, Kat!
"What does it matter where I got me telly?!" Flash.
Let me get this straight, because I'm a bit confused,
he cooks you a slap-up meal, treats you like a lady,
doesn't mention his ex once, until YOU bring her up,
and then you stomp out in a huff with his remote shoved up your top?
Oh, Denise, it's gorgeous.
Ian can really surprise you sometimes, can't he?
-Anyway, I'll see you tonight.
-See you tonight.
Oh, engagement party at the Vic. You coming?
-Oh, yeah, sure.
-Bro? My leaving drinks?
Erm... Both at the Vic?
-Yes, because we can muddle in together, can't we?
I would have thought my brother would've sorted out a special meal,
cake, organised some dancing girls to see me on my merry way, but
muddling in with Ian Beale's 87th engagement party is totally fine.
You're buying these. Leaving gift. I wonder what they are?
-I didn't say anything.
-Then I'm happy for you.
You know, I still can't believe The Fox is going to marry your dad.
-No, I'm saying, I think they're going to make a good couple.
-Be good together.
-You all right? You left pretty sharpish this morning.
Said I'd tell you, didn't I?!
So, you coming then?
-I dunno. It's a bit awkward, innit.
-I never told you!
Me and Johnny had a little kiss.
But he ain't called me back, so I don't think he's that interested.
Well, that doesn't necessarily mean anything. He could be shy.
-Wish he weren't.
He's the first guy I've liked since Tyler.
Who is? Johnny?
Keep your voice down.
You know what, to tell you the truth I kind of thought he, erm...
You know, he was like... You know...
-No, he's not.
Do you think?
Well, I wouldn't give up just yet.
Pretty girl like you, I'm sure you don't get turned down too often.
Anyway, I'm going to go. I'll see you later, all right?
-Take it easy.
Ain't you worried?
Oh, look, just forget it!
Oh! Just been speaking to Carl's mum.
She hasn't spoken to him since New Year's Eve.
Weird, don't you think?
No, the only thing that's weird is you banging on about it to me.
Dodgy stuff happens round here and you're usually involved.
How are you even his sister? You don't look like Mick.
-I got all the looks.
-Oh, yeah? Older or younger?
Just make sure it's in by lunchtime. Yeah?
Shirl. Can I have a word?
Remember when you spilt engine oil on Mum's new carpet?
Remember?! Her screams still echo through my nightmares.
How long was it before she spoke to you again?
I dunno, like a couple of weeks and a lot of washing up.
Always thought it'd be Dad who'd have the problem with me being...
Weird, innit, she used to have a right laugh with her hairdresser.
Always nosing in on his sex life.
Oi, stop moping about and get stuck in with the party.
She will come round, you'll see.
Here you are.
-She don't even call me that any more.
There you go.
-Well, a thank-you would be nice.
-I take it this belongs to you?
Not really, Tina got it for me, I didn't ask her to...
Just don't leave it lying about, I'm trying to keep a tidy ship here.
What you doing here?
You're unbelievable, you know that?
Help you, shall I? Begins with S. Ends with an "orry".
-What was all that about last night?!
I'm scared, Tel.
I just don't want to get hurt again.
Look, I'll never let that happen again.
Why don't we give it another go?
-Even after last night?
-KEY TURNS IN THE LOCK
-Has she got a key?!
-Have you got a key?!
Got a spare cut when I had the kids.
Rosie said you hadn't done much.
Is it safe to enter or have you got a turkey sandwich in your pocket?
You can't just come tramping in here like this, Nikki. You know that.
-I haven't got time to bicker, Tel, I just need the kids' passports.
-Because I've got stand-by tickets for Lapland to make up for Christmas.
-No. That ain't happening.
-They'll be back in a couple of days.
-Yeah, and they've got school.
Travel is an education in itself, Tel.
-I'll see you later, then.
There's a party in the Vic tonight, I'll see you there, yeah?
So, the passports?
-What's in the bags?
He chucked me out again. Won't even give me the time of day
and Carl's not picking up the phone either.
Can you blame them?
Look at you, wandering the streets like a stray dog, whining.
-Are you asking for a smack?
-Fighting talk? My type of language.
Yeah, well, I'm not a dog, all right?
Then don't act like one. Look, get some self-respect and move on.
Don't let the slime balls round here hold you back.
What am I supposed to do? I don't even have any money.
-Max's just left me high and dry.
-You've got brains, haven't you?
Try using them before they're pickled for good.
-Mum, I'll do that. Go and sit down.
-I know what I'm doing.
Oh! Flamin' box!
Will you tell your dad downstairs ain't a storage room
while he paints upstairs!
-What time's this party starting again?
Wow! How did you not get bullied at school?
-I could ask you the same question!
-I smelled burning, what's happened?
I sorted it.
Oh! Whose crime against fashion was this?
Blimey, Mick, even I remember that!
I've been looking for an '80s jacket like this for ages.
Oi, that's '90s, that is! And that's a man's article of clothing.
-Swore blind it'd been thrown out.
-Must've snuck its way back in.
Used to think he was the nuts in it.
He'd like swing it over his shoulder and lean on stuff.
THEY LAUGH You fell for that, Mum?
Oh, he was the best-looking boy in the school.
Urgh! I saw tongue then!
Were these mine?
-Tracey's fending off raging traders out there...
-What is it?
-What is it, Shirl?
Yeah, all right. Look, leave it. I was young and naive...
And cold, by the looks of it.
Yeah, all right. That's enough fun for today,
Johnny, put that box up in the loft, please, pronto.
-Do you think I'm being paranoid?
What do you mean?
Terry says he wants to give it another shot
and he says there's nothing going on and I do LIKE him, he makes me
laugh he's a good dad and I really fancy him but
say this is my last chance of being happy and not just someone's mum?
And then on the other hand, she's got herself a key cut. Who does that without asking?
Unless he's told her to do it without saying it, you know?
And that's what worries me, because I am not being made a mug of again.
-Not by that silly little cow.
You are in a state, aren't you?
I don't like seeing you like this, darling.
What should I do then?
He wants to meet me later in the Vic.
Well, don't go. I know you're good together,
but Nikki is always going to be part of the Terry package, isn't she?
She was his first love. And that runs deep, trust me.
You don't want that hanging over you for the rest of your life, do you?
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah. I might not wear it. Spur of the moment thing.
It might be, I don't know, a bit young for me...
-A bit young? Shut up.
-So, cooking for Peter, are we?
Yeah, it's his first night with us, so...
-Never cooked for me.
So, you got your family coming tonight?
-My daughters can't make it.
-For your own engagement?
Well, they would if they could, it's just, you know,
I gave them such short notice. They're busy girls.
-They'll be at the wedding though.
-It don't matter anyway, cos Patrick'll be there, won't he?
No, actually, he's come down with the lurgy.
That's £12.65, please, darling.
Splashing the cash, aren't we?
Yeah, well, he's worth it, ain't he?
Denise, I really think you should wear that dress.
Trust me, you're going to look good. See ya.
Damn straight. Hello again.
Have you got a death wish? If my dad sees you!
Being brave just for you, babe. Laters.
Why are the bad ones always so sexy?
You all right?
-Johnny, listen. Mick, is that your dad?
Yeah, he's not out the front, is it all right if I leave his keys here?
-Sure. Sorry, meant to move that.
-No, don't worry about it.
-All right, cheers, bruv.
Rosie's on her way to see Santa's house.
Well, you wouldn't like it.
It's freezing cold and you have to eat fish NOT in fingers
and everyone knows that Santa's gone on holiday in January.
-Imagine how the teachers'll kick off when she's not there on Monday.
She's having a sleigh ride pulled by huskies.
Right, that is it. No texting at the dinner table.
I bet it's Nikki sending these flaming texts.
Don't you think that Terry would be there, right now, in Lapland
if he wanted to be with Nikki, huh?!
-Now are you coming to the Vic or not?
Do you know what I'd give to have your choices again, Bianca?
You're still young and yet you're standing there frightened to
live life in case something bad happens to you.
Well, I've got news for you, it's going to happen to you whether you
like it or not, so you might as well get out there and take a chance.
Right, Peter said he's going to meet us there.
-Oh, well, Lola said she was going to cook him a meal first.
Beans on toast does not qualify as a meal.
No, that ain't mine.
Oh, that's Jane's, she left it here the other day.
Said I'd put it in the post to her.
Right, come on.
You look lovely, Mum.
It's just me.
Same as before.
Same as that little baby you had in the hospital.
I was tiny, weren't I?
Hard to believe an actual human foot fit in these.
Only two pound!
But you were strong even then. I held out my little finger and...
I gripped it back.
Are you absolutely sure?
Because that Whitney, she really is a lovely girl
and you looked so good together.
Why don't you just try, eh?
-To the happy couple.
-Maybe move onto the cava next.
Yeah. Happy life. Er, wedding. What is it? Engagement thing.
Smooth, Tam, smooth.
Prepare yourselves, prepare yourselves, cos
this ain't for the faint-hearted.
Oh, my days! Is that Linda Carter, bruv?!
I've been looking for that high and low.
Why is the world so cruel? Just as I'm about to leave the Square, a goddess appears in our midst.
Hello, boys, looks like you're having fun there!
-Mini beef burger?
Mini beef burger?
Good luck, darlin'!
-Now, let me have some of that first.
-Get involved, my love, get involved.
-You look nice, Lauren.
-Oh, thank you. So do you.
-Dad, shall we go sit over there?
-Yeah. All right?
Save us a seat, would you? My feet are killing me after today.
-Thanks for coming. Appreciate it.
-Thanks. Thank you so much. Thanks.
-Bill, have a look at this, mate.
-She'd eat you for breakfast.
-Mate, any time of the day or night.
-What are you doing?
Babe, Pops, I wasn't looking! Dex, tell her I wasn't looking.
He wasn't looking...
Because I'm happy. I've got everything that I need at home.
-You're so beautiful and voluptuous...
-Kind, and sweet...
-I can't watch this.
You're a pig!
Denise, is Wayne still at the B&B?
No, no, he's checked out. He's bad news, that one, you know.
SHE SLURS: Max, Max, come here, come here, come here...
What's the matter with you? What's the matter with you? You're drunk!
-Just get off me, will you?
-All right. I'm going!
-Same again, Tracey, please.
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.
You didn't take my advice then?
What makes you say that?
Something about holey socks makes me really sad.
Has anyone got any chewing gum?
-Why? Who're you kissing?
-Shut up. See you later.
-Right, that's it. Get me make-up, Tiff.
She ain't coming.
I had a chat with her earlier, she made it perfectly clear, Terry.
Time to give up, mate.
Give us a small whisky, please, darling.
Congratulations, this is from both of us.
Oh. Thank you.
I didn't sign it.
No, but look, look, you gave us a little kiss.
CAR HORN OUTSIDE
Peter. Get yourself a pint. Welcome to the family.
You're all right, Bill, I've already got champagne.
It's a bird's drink, isn't it? You're living with a Mitchell now.
-Right, I'm off to get Lex.
-All right then, I'll see you later.
Max, there's something out here you might want to see.
Oi! What are you playing at?! Get out of there!
You wanted a divorce. You've got it.
Cheap at the price.
I had to have one last cuddle, didn't I?
Oh, and, by the way,
when you were picturing Tanya, I was picturing someone with hair
and muscles. And a little bit more downstairs.
Here you are.
Come on then, Dad. She's gone, it's finally over, innit?
You owe me.
-What you doing out here?
-Just going to head home.
It's only early, babe.
Yeah, well, Ian Beale's engagement party don't really do it for me.
-I'll see you at home, yeah?
Feel this. Could get better quality down the pound shop.
And these blinis, THAT is like cardboard.
And what on earth is that supposed to be?
Denise, I was just wondering why you've still got your coat on.
-You're not shy, are you?
You look fantastic.
Told you you'd look gorgeous.
-Tonight is seriously making me reassess my upper age limit, you know.
-Me and all.
-If I had a time machine, I probably...
-You have not?
-I'm being silly.
So, do you like it?
Yeah. You might want to pop a cardi on.
Hello, Whitney. You're looking beautiful.
Johnny'll serve you, right, love?
Vodka tonic, please.
Glasses to clear, Dad's orders. Sorry.
DOOR CREAKS OPEN
Oi! Bruv, I'm looking at the paper!
-What are you doing?
-That's my mum!
-Do you want it, yeah?
Get off him. Mick, Mick, leave it!
They were looking at you. They're perverts!
They were looking at this?
Think that makes them perverts?
Come on, Johnny, they're only blokes!
Perfectly normal, innit?
-Why're you being like this, Mum?
Stop whining and grow up, Johnny!
-What you having, Ian?
-No, I'm fine, thanks.
-What am I doing?
-I have no idea.
Listen to me. Listen, listen.
-Don't put it up.
-Mick, I want to.
I just wish they still looked like that.
-He's gone for a walk.
Right. Who's for another drink?
-I'd like a packet of nuts, please.
-Make that two.
Ain't it about time you made a little speech for the bride and groom to be?
Are you OK?
You don't have to be embarrassed.
About your mum.
I think she's great.
You don't want this, do you?
Johnny, you know you can say if you ain't interested.
-It's not a big deal.
-It's not you...
-Please don't finish that sentence.
So you just used me?
I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm doing.
I shouldn't have done that.
Right, ladies and gentlemen, could I have your attention, please?
We all know why we're here.
We're here to celebrate the engagement of Ian and Denise.
Now, I've not known them very long, but I think we'd all agree
they make a wonderful couple, don't they?
Ian, get yourself up here
and say a few words about your lovely wife-to-be.
First of all, thanks to everyone for coming.
You're probably wondering what a beautiful,
funny woman like Denise is doing with a bloke like me,
and to be honest, I wonder that every day.
She really is a very special lady, and...
Denise, where are you?
-Has anyone seen her?
As most of you know, I've been married...
once or twice before, but I promise you, this is the last time.
As long as I find her.
She's done a runner already, Ian!
Oh, it's not...
Oh, no, no, we're not...
The point is, this is the last time I'm doing this.
Not your colour, darling.
Well, anyway, we are really glad that everyone's here
enjoying themselves and the food.
And I promise you, when we do get married, I will get professional caterers in.
To Ian and Denise, ladies and gentlemen.
Here she is.
I love you.
I love you too.
Yeah. I'm celebrating, ain't I? Single at last.
Same again, please.
Carol didn't say she'd be late, did she?
Don't look so sad, Tam.
You can visit your Uncle AJ whenever you want.
Here you are.
You don't seem surprised.
-Well, it sort of makes sense.
Well, you didn't fancy me, did you?
Right, come on, why are you so confused?
It's like my whole family's watching me,
expecting me to go crazy all of a sudden.
Something just don't feel right.
I couldn't even go to a gay club with my aunts.
Well, I wouldn't have the guts to go anywhere with your aunts.
And then there's my mum, who's chuffed to bits(!)
So that's what that was about earlier?
-Johnny, she will come round.
She's never been like this with me before.
We're normally so close. Nance calls me the spoilt brat.
It's not just her fussing over me,
it's...it's like we need to be near each other.
That's why I didn't go into halls - I was worried she'd be too upset.
Why are you being nice to me?
I get it, I suppose.
Feeling like an outsider.
I really wish I didn't fancy blokes.
Join the club.
-Do you fancy something a bit stronger?
Oh! I thought you weren't coming?
Terry's gone home, darling.
-What do you mean?
-Well, I told him you weren't interested.
-Darling, we've spoken about this?
Yeah, but I've changed my mind.
Come and have a drink with your old man instead.
-I'm going to go and see him.
-Where's your mum, by the way?
-Is she not in there?
-Well, she left ages ago.
-I'll see you later.
Oi, what is Mum's problem? She's fine with you.
She never give birth to me.
Do you think she's like properly homophobic?
I think most people are a bit.
-Most people say that, an' all.
You're a dark horse, Linda.
Don't. I was young and the photographer conned me into it.
-Mick made sure he'd never do it again.
Didn't he mind every bloke in Walford staring at your chest?
Secretly he loves it.
He's the one that gets the 3D experience, after all.
Glad you're over that little blip.
-Yeah, yeah. We're engaged now.
I'm happy. I am.
Let's face it, when you get to our age,
-nothing's completely perfect, is it?
Hey, Pops. Hey babe, listen, I just phoned to say sorry.
About looking at that picture.
You know, it was just boys being boys.
But it was a mistake...
and, um...it won't happen again.
And, er... But, yeah, if you get this, give me a call back, all right, babe?
Oh, I know what you're thinking - yes, it looks bad -
but it was just a moment of madness, it was five minutes.
Five minutes, or a moment, Denise?
Cos one's like this...
and the other's considerably longer.
What're you going to do?
Order a G&T. You got lucky, girl.
-Spreading gossip doesn't particularly interest me.
That's good because I love Ian.
I really do.
And that was just a distraction.
If anything, it's made me see things much more clearly.
Same goes for excuses.
You've known Ian a while, haven't you, Max?
What's with him and Denise?
Well, it just looks a bit odd from the outside.
I don't know. Who knows anything about anyone's marriage?
It's like me and Tanya, you know.
Everyone thought we were a happy couple.
I was lying, cheating.
-I was going behind her back with a girl nearly half her age.
What you got to look for is the little clues,
you know, like the little tells.
There's always something that's going to give them away.
Mate, you are going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow.
Yeah, exactly, he's just gone through a bad break-up and he's drunk.
-No, he's fine.
-I'm going to take you home.
Dad, please. For me.
And he thinks we've got issues.
Oh, it's you.
I saw the light on.
What you doing here?
I just never get any peace at home.
And, you know, I found your spare keys.
Bianca said you was coming over the Vic to Ian's do.
I had to suffer him making a speech about love.
-When did you see Bianca?
-She came over the pub.
Oh, right, well, she must be sorting it out with Terry.
Not if she listened to me, she's not.
She come to me for advice, Carol.
Look, I don't want to talk about her.
I want to talk about you.
-Where're you going?
-I'm going to try and make Bianca see sense.
I brought it back, didn't I?
-I could have left it in the bin.
-You cheeky mare!
-It's only a flippin' telly.
-That's not what you said last night.
Can we just forget about all that? Look, I want to try again.
I've blown it, ain't I?
I've missed you.
I missed you too.
What's in these again?
-D'you know what, who cares what my mum thinks?
I'm 19 years old, I'm at uni, I've got my whole life ahead of me.
-So what - I'm gay.
Yeah, so what! So what!
-And if she can't accept it, then I'll...
Call her bluff. She'll crack before the night's out, anyway.
What if it backfires?
You can stay here.
-Till she changes her mind.
-Would that be OK?
Yeah. Yeah, I'll check it with Bianca first, but it should be...
Thank you, Whit!
-How should I know?
Has she not come home?
It's like Piccadilly Circus in here tonight.
Looks like your plan didn't work.
Plan? There was no plan.
We need to get this sorted once and for all, David.
You need to promise me you'll stay out of Bianca's love life
-because you can't keep doing this.
-Have the hospital been in touch?
We're talking about our daughter.
Yeah, our 36-year-old daughter.
Who, as you keep saying, is a grown woman
and whose life is none of our business.
Yet here we are.
Are you going to tell me or not?
Have you had the results?
There's a direct flight going out to Karachi tonight, but it's pricey.
-There's my uni fund.
-Oh, no, Tam, we'll put it on the credit card.
How long are you going to be out there?
-My new job starts Monday.
-I'll probably come back then too.
I was thinking about it, bro, maybe I shouldn't go.
Not go to your own mum's funeral?
I'm just saying, you know, it's bad timing.
The car's already packed, I've got to prepare for a meeting.
There's so much stuff to do. My new flat.
Am I hearing this right?
You can't be bothered to go to Mum's funeral
because you've got unpacking to do?
Does it matter if I'm there or not?
Do you have any idea the sacrifices she made? Do you, AJ?
She was up before dawn to go and work in a factory
so that we had enough to eat, so we had enough for new clothes.
And she never once complained.
We'd walk though the door
and you'd be greeted by this warm smell of cooking
and it would wrap around you like a hug...
and we knew everything was going to be all right.
That's a nice picture, bruv. See you left Dad out of it.
Oh, so this is about him, then?
You might want to make out that our childhood was one cosy meal after another,
but, Tam, that's not what I remember.
And if Mum cared about us so much, why didn't she stand up to him more?
Like when I married Aaliyah, for example?
Why don't you tell him how I got this scar?
That doesn't mean anything.
The fact they're taking a while. The lab's probably backed up.
-I know. You're the one keeps going on about it.
-How are you sleeping?
-Have you told Mr Postie?
-That's none of your business.
-I just want to know you're getting the right support, Carol.
Oh, so sitting over the Portakabin in the dark is perfectly fine behaviour, is it?
I mean I don't need anything, all right. There is no news.
-I'm just waiting.
-Well, we can wait together.
It's not the waiting that bothers me particularly.
-I'm here for you, Carol, whatever happens.
Right, so when my hair starts to fall out
and I can't drag myself out of bed cos I'm as sick as a dog
from the chemo and they have to cut my breasts off...
Are you going to be there for me, then?
Why do you think?
OK, OK, Dad was wrong.
He's traditional, you know that, and besides, he's an old man now.
Who knows exactly which buttons to press.
I swore I wouldn't go back until I could look him in the eye
like the man I am now and not the boy he made me feel like.
I'm sorry, Mas, I'm not ready to face him yet.
This isn't about you, AJ.
This is about family. This is about paying your respects.
Besides, I'm going to be the one to get the flak this time, aren't I?
Divorcee, gay son, in love with a white woman.
You've got this exciting new job, you know, you've got prospects.
AJ, please, come on.
I'm asking you to do this for me, all right?
-I can't do this on my own.
I'll come over in a month or two when the dust has settled.
It's a good job Mum isn't here to see you now.
She'd be ashamed.
-Get off me!
Get out of my sight.
Why did you say all that stuff to Sadie?
It's Jake, innit. He's just sitting there all smug.
Does my nut in, you know, after what he done to you.
He just preyed on you when you were vulnerable.
No, it wasn't like that, Dad.
Just pleased you've ended it with him, that's all.
Couldn't have been easy.
I'm proud of you.
-From now on, right, I'm going to keep my head down...
and the rest is going to be family.
You and Abi are going to have my undivided attention.
My mum's dead, Tam.
Go to her funeral.
Did Mas send you out here?
This hasn't got anything to do with Dad.
OK, this is about you.
You need to say goodbye to your mum.
Not because you should...
..but because...you need to.
Dad's taxi's going to be here in a minute.
No, I'll make my own way there.
Here's a little present for you.
See you later.
See you later.
D'you think he's all right out there on his own?
He's 19, Linda. It's London, not Afghanistan.
-Why d'you say that?
-Because it's the truth.
You blame me, don't you? For Lee being out there.
-Don't be so stupid.
-Wouldn't have mentioned Afghanistan otherwise.
You think I pushed him away and now I'm pushing Johnny away an' all.
You're putting words in my mouth.
Then try putting a few of your own in there. Save me the trouble.
I don't get it. OK, we didn't expect it
and I don't want to hear about the nitty gritty, but it's his life.
-It doesn't change anything.
-Not now, Nancy, please...
-No, I need to talk to you, it's important.
-Stay out of it, Nance.
-Johnny? What you doing?
-I'm moving out.
-Don't be so ridiculous.
You obviously don't want me here. Do you?
Don't be silly. She's been having kittens all night.
Course she wants you here. Tell him.
Well, I ain't having this. I'm not having it.
Any danger of a drink here, Mick?
Wait here, don't even think about moving.
Dad, let me talk to Mum.
I'm going to deal with it.
Just go and serve him for me, yeah?
-Mick, pint, please?
-Tina will serve you.
D'you know what - forget it, yeah.
Any better at pouring shots, Tina?
Well, that depends if you want it in a glass or straight down the hatch?
-Right, darling, shall we call it a night then?
I know you don't want to go.
And I know you don't want him to go either.
So talk. Sort it out.
Because nobody is going to bed until you do.
Right, well, this is pointless, I'm off.
-He your boyfriend then?
-Who is then?
I don't even know if I want one!
And no, I don't mean I'm not sure - I know I'm gay -
-it's not just like I've woken up and everything's changed.
-Cos that's what it feels like to me.
Because you're not who I thought you were.
All this time you've been lying to me.
Making out like you're one thing
-when really you're someone completely different.
-But I'm not!
I didn't mean to lie, you know, I just didn't want the fuss.
I kind of hoped you'd guess.
I mean, didn't you already have a hunch?
I just thought you were my Johnny.
I still am.
So you're ashamed of me?
-Course I'm not.
-Then what is it?
When they put you in that glass box...
..tubes running into your tiny little body...
..I sat there feeling so helpless...
..wanting to hold you so much that my arms were physically aching.
And I made you a promise -
that if you pulled through,
I'd never let anything bad happen to you ever again.
And you haven't.
But I can't stop bad things happening now, can I?
The world is a cruel place
and you...you being gay is going to make things so much worse.
It doesn't have to be...
-Overnight you've made enemies you never knew existed.
Then that's their problem.
Then there are the men you'll fall in love with
who are going to break your heart.
You're soft, Johnny - I've made you that way because I thought
you'd meet a nice girl who'd take over and look after you for me.
But that ain't going to happen now, is it?
I'm not a little boy any more, Mum.
I'm a man, I can deal with people not liking me.
I just can't deal with losing you.
-Course you haven't.
Good, cos I've missed you.
And your cocoa.
Make you one now, shall I?
-You coming up?
-Yeah, in a sec, I'll just lock up.
I'm proud of you.
He's my boy, ain't he?
Yeah, I mean, she seems OK.
It's early days, I guess, but...
Thanks though, Whit. I really appreciate it.
All right, bye.
Better go and check
that Tina and Nancy ain't started a rave downstairs.
Johnny, cocoa's ready.
-MOBILE PHONE RINGS
Mum... me and Terry are back together.
Linda struggles to deal with her feelings after discovering a secret.
Realising Ian is having difficulty coping, Sharon gets him to talk about his emotions.
Lola accidentally reveals her future plans to Billy, but will he offer her his support?
Ian has regrets about his past decisions; will the Beales pull him out of his funk?
Max wants to cut his ties with Kirsty once and for all, but Kirsty has other ideas.
There is trouble brewing at the Branning house, but Lauren is surprised when some words of wisdom come from an unlikely source.
Shirley and Tina try to take Johnny under their wing, but Linda has other ideas.
The Beales have reason to celebrate, but is everyone as happy as they seem?
Johnny explodes when he sees some of the locals leering at his mum.
Denise takes pleasure in being the centre of attention, but she is upset when Ian clearly doesn't appreciate the effort she has gone to.
After some frank advice from Shirley, Kirsty takes matters into her own hands to get what she wants.
Denise is consumed by guilt, but will she be able to make things right?
With everything on her mind, Carol realises that she is not alone and has someone she can confide in.
Whitney gives Johnny some advice, but will he take it?