12/10/2012 EastEnders Omnibus

Well, that's the hard bit out the way.

Now you've made your plea.

It's only a matter of time, ain't it, before this gets sorted out?

Only a mug's going to believe that Alexa girl over you. Here, mate.

Lovely. Thank you.

You know, I...

Lola?

-Hey, how you doing?

-I'm good. How are you? Hello!

Are you all right?

I better get going. I'll see you in a minute, I won't be far behind you.

Come on, twinkle. I know, sweetheart.

-How's Abi?

-She's a bit shaken up, but you would be, wouldn't you?

-Those girls need stringing up.

-Tell me about it.

From now on I want to know where you're going and who with.

Paranoid parent alert.

-Right, how many am I catering for?

-I'm thinking about 15 to 20.

That's unless Abs has invited any of her new sixth-form friends. Abi.

-This party tomorrow. How many people have you asked?

-I don't remember.

-Do you want a proper cake with candles?

-It's not even her birthday.

I know, but we didn't get to celebrate the actual birthday, did we?

How can you go on about a party when Lola's lost her baby?

-What did you say?

-Mmm. Yeah, Lola got into a fight.

Then the Social Services come and they just took her baby.

-They can't do that.

-Well, they did, and it's all my fault.

-Of course it's not.

-She only got into that fight cos she was sticking up for me.

Now, you listen to me. As much as I like Lola,

it was only ever a matter of time.

-Till what?

-Well, I'm not being funny,

but that kid can barely look after herself, can she?

You know, it only turns out Ben Mitchell is the father.

Lola is a good mum.

I don't doubt that, I don't. But let's face it -

what kind of life can she offer that kid, eh? I'll see ya later.

Oi! Wait there.

I'm going to be late for work, Mum.

I sometimes think all that lacquer you work with has gone to your brain.

Mum, I don't know what you...

That kid has done everything she can for her baby.

What she doesn't need is people like you casting aspersions.

I haven't got time for this.

You might not remember where you came from, but I do.

People round here, Tanya, they take care of their own.

They don't leave people hanging out to dry.

It's none of our business, Mum.

It's everyone's business.

Lo... What's the latest?

Can I have a word?

-What you said about Ben...

-Why don't you just leave her alone?

Not until I get some answers. Is it true?

You think she'd lie about something like that?

It wouldn't be the first time she lied to get herself out of trouble.

-How did it happen?

-How do you think it happened?

Are you going to let her do any of the talking?

Now, I'm going to ask you one last time.

Is Ben the father?

-I said so, didn't I?

-Why should I believe you?

Cos it ain't exactly something I want to be shouting about. My baby's father's a killer.

-There you are.

-Did they call?

-Eh?

-Social Services! Did they call?

-It's a bit early, Lo.

-I'm going down there, then.

-You can't.

-She's my baby.

Lola, listen to me, listen to me.

We've got to play this by the book this time. OK?

You go down there shouting the odds it's going to be even harder to get Lexi back.

Where you going, Lo?

What are you doing here?

Avoiding Christian and his to-do list.

-Oh, how's it looking?

-Better than last month.

So we're back in the black?

-Thereabouts.

-What about the money that I gave you?

That will see us right, so stop worrying, all right?

My clever boy. Don't know what we'd do without you.

-Sy?

-We're in here.

-Syed!

-AJ. Tamwar. Family meeting in the kitchen.

-I just need five minutes, Masood.

-Too late.

What? It's pistachio. It's very rejuvenating.

-Next time try cement.

-It may have escaped your attention,

but we're getting married next Tuesday.

Seeing as my husband to be

is too busy making his first million, I'm going to need your help, again.

For you, for you and for you.

"Flowers, favours and centrepieces". Favours?

"Candles, fairy lights and confetti".

-Table linen?

-Yeah.

All the hours I've put into this wedding and you task me with table linen?

Question - where's my list?

Answer - give him a cow and he'll bring home magic beans.

-Trust me. It's easier this way.

-You can help me.

How am I supposed to pay for any of this?

Sy?

-We'll put some in.

-No, you won't, all right? You've done enough already.

You've given us the Argee Bhajee for the day free.

-Now, come on. Chop chop.

-When do you want these by?

Yesterday. Now scarper. And you, come along.

-Table linens?

-Yes, table linens.

-You don't need anything else from me?

Christian, don't you think this is all just a bit extravagant?

-What was wrong with keeping it low-key?

-Tell you what, I'll nip down the charity shop

and see if they've got a couple of suits.

-It was just a suggestion.

-I've had to listen to you

banging on about investments, business meetings, plans for expansion.

Now would be a good time to put your money where your mouth is.

Your little clip is so cute, man.

-Do you like it?

-Frames your face lovely.

-Sure you're not laughing at me?

-All right, Mr Branning. We were just having breakfast.

I can see that, Arthur. But where does it lead?

I mean, it might be breakfast now.

Next it'll be an invitation back to yours to play records.

-She'll end up pregnant, and you'll end up hotfooting it up the M1.

-Dad!

What? I suppose you've heard about poor little Abi.

Is she OK?

Lucky to be alive.

But that is why I want you to have one of these.

But I've already got a mobile.

Ah, but this is a special mobile. This has a tracking device.

-A tracking device!?

-Yeah. That way I'll know where you are at all times. Good, eh?

And you, come and see me later. I've got some business for you.

Did I just hear that right about the tracking?

He just worries about me, that's all.

Morning.

-Hiya.

-Where you going?

It's my day off. I was going to go to the market.

-On your own?

-Yeah.

Give me 20 minutes and I'll come with you.

-Babes, it breaks my heart.

-What does?

-Seeing them suffocate you like that.

-What do you think?

-Old lady jumble.

-I don't like anything too daring.

Every time you say that, a beautician dies.

-PHONE RINGS

-I can't stop this making noises.

All that work I put into your date with Anthony.

Is that why you've let things slip?

I didn't realise I had.

Classic case of denial. I see now the problems aren't just physical.

-They're psychological, too.

-I suppose I could get a trim.

Maybe get my nails done.

You see? You're talking like a fighter already. Come with me.

Your first fight, Abs. Now you really are a Branning.

That's not funny.

Someone to see you.

Oh! You scared the life out of me.

Lola, stay here if you like.

Beats sitting outside, don't it?

Feeling like everyone's looking at you.

Darling, you will get her back, you know.

-So you believe her?

-Well, why wouldn't I?

Cos Ben's...gay. At least he was.

-Ben's still gay, Mr Mitchell.

-How can he be?

What happened with Lola, it must've been a mistake.

What if it weren't? I always said that 16 was too young.

Kids get funny ideas in their heads these days.

-Ben was right about you. You never listen, do you?

-What am I supposed to think, eh?

He must've liked her. Otherwise how could he get her pregnant?

Unless you think she's lying?

Well, Lola wouldn't do that.

-Why didn't she say something before, then?

-Maybe she didn't want to.

Unless she's covering for Jay?

Them two are pretty tight, aren't they?

Lexi is not Jay's.

So I'm supposed to just believe that Ben's the father, yeah?

Do me a favour.

We were expecting a delivery this morning.

I told you all this before. I transferred the funds on Friday.

How am I supposed to run a restaurant without any food, eh?

Hello!?

-Ben Mitchell, a father?

-I know. Shocking, ain't it?

A gay man with a child.

-Are you serious?

-Come on, Mrs M. It's an open mic night, you know.

-Chance to prove all your haters wrong.

-My haters!?

When I say haters, you know, what I mean is

all those that ain't got to see your warm affectionate side. You get me?

We are in the middle of a double-dip recession, Fatty Boy.

What exactly do we have to laugh about?

Oh, darling, I was very sorry to hear what happened about your little girl.

-And look, if there's anything we can do...

-She ain't dead.

-I didn't say...

-So why are you talking about her like she is?

Lo, she didn't mean it like that, babe.

Well, this is just a big misunderstanding, anyway. She'll be back tonight.

I'm very glad to hear it. Those are on the house, by the way.

-I don't need your charity.

-And you wonder why they took your baby.

-Zainab, that's enough.

-No, no, no.

If you've got something to say, then flamin' well say it.

What sort of example are you setting your little girl? Fighting in the street.

-You don't know what you're talking about.

-Social Services don't take these decisions lightly.

Lola! Lola!

What if she hates me?

You didn't ask her to smack that Alexa girl, did you?

How could anyone hate you, eh?

I just want everything to go back to how it was, Jay.

And it will. I promise you.

-We can't.

-Why not?

How can we be together when Lola's lost everything?

She'd want us to be happy, Abs.

-Lola?

-Go away.

-I know what you all think of me.

-Is that right?

You think Lexi's better off in care, don't you?

I do, as it happens.

What sort of mother gives up at the first hurdle?

-You don't understand.

-You're right, I don't.

Because if I was you, I'd be banging on that door to Social Services

until my knuckles were bleeding.

Maybe it's all for the best.

Why are you saying that?

Everyone's a winner.

Lexi gets a new mum and dad

and you get to drink yourself into oblivion with your mates.

But don't stop there. Why don't you get a tattoo?

Dye your hair blue, go wild.

That ain't what I want.

You could've fooled me.

I just want my little girl!

Then fight for her.

What if they don't listen?

Then make them listen.

You don't shout loud enough now,

you're going to regret it for the rest of your life.

I'm so scared.

I know you are, darlin'.

-Here you go, my man.

-All the sat-fat I can eat.

You think Kim'll get up and crack a few jokes?

-I wouldn't count on it.

-Fats.

It's you and a stuffed bird if you don't get some names down.

-Yes, miss.

-It's good to see you and Alfie making a go of things.

What's that supposed to mean?

Look, what's happened between me and Alfie is none of your business, all right?

I was talking about this place.

About putting the Vic back on the map.

Sorry I'm late.

Don't tell me. The pound shop has a special offer on doilies.

-Don't start, Christian.

-Babe, where've you been?

Well, let me see - sorting out the suppliers.

Trying to get the bank off our backs.

Isn't that Tam's mess? You should let him sort it.

PHONE RINGS

I've really got to take this call. Sorry.

Can I have a word?

Yeah.

If it's training you're after I do boot camp on a Wednesday.

It's about Ben.

What about him, Phil?

Well, you got to know him pretty well, didn't you?

You could say that, yeah.

What would you say if I told you that Ben was a father?

I wouldn't put anything past him, Phil.

You can ask who you like. Facts remain the same.

You are a granddad.

-Does the offer still stand?

-Lo, where you going?

Listen, I tried to call Trish, but she ain't got back yet.

Lo, where you going?

-I'm going to get my baby back.

-You give 'em hell, d'you hear?

All this pussyfooting around, it ain't helping.

If I want Lexi back I'll to have to fight for her.

And just don't take no for an answer.

Lo!

I'm so sorry. I can't seem to turn this off.

Oh, don't worry. No-one's going to recognise you.

What's brought it on, this makeover?

Suppose I'm a bit tired of being Daddy's little angel.

So come on. Who do you fancy?

I liked Anthony.

-So you like them dark? Yeah.

-I guess.

Sporty or more of a thinker?

I hate PE. I got a netball in my face in Year Nine.

Right. So someone who's read a book, then.

I bet you like a bit of danger, though. Yeah? Someone mysterious.

-I guess.

-So I'm thinking, yeah - Mr Darcy meets

-Ryan Gosling in Drive. Am I right?

-Maybe.

Good luck with finding that round here!

Right. I think we're done here, Tanya.

I think we are, Poppy. Right, then, what do you think?

I tell you what I think.

I think you've made my beautiful little girl look like some cheap tart.

Now, hang on a minute...

Alice, come on. We're leaving.

Come on, we're going.

I'm not coming.

What?

Me and Poppy are going out tonight. We might go up town.

Over my dead body.

You promised you wouldn't interfere.

No, I'm not interfering, love!

I just... I just don't want you to make a fool of yourself.

I'm 18. I can do what I like.

-Alice...

-You heard her.

Alice, please.

You ain't heard the last of this, you.

Right. Shall we get you a little outfit sorted, then?

Billy and Lola have gone down Social Services.

Is that right?

-She's telling the truth, Phil.

-So everyone keeps saying.

-So what are you going to do?

-Let's think.

I'm going to get a takeaway,

go home and put my feet up in front of the box.

Cos you know what? I'm sick of looking out for people.

From now on it's every man for himself.

-Zee. AJ and I, we've been talking.

-The answer's no.

You ain't heard what it is yet.

I don't need to. The answer is still no.

It's not right Christian and Syed having to fork out for everything themselves.

Our son is a very proud man. He wouldn't want us interfering.

-But - what if it was a gift?

-What sort of gift?

Somewhere sunkissed. Hot, sweaty nights. Skinny dipping in the ocean.

-I'm sold!

-He's a genius, no?

-It's not my word for it, no.

-You know where the gays love, don't you?

-Gran Canaria.

-I'm sorry?

-It's an island off the north coast of Africa.

-I know where Gran Canaria is.

-What has it got to do with Syed?

-What better way of showing support than treating them to a honeymoon?

And how do you expect us to pay for this?

Tam and Kamil's savings that we put aside...

Masood, we can't touch that.

Come on Zee, he'd want to help his brother. We'll pay it back before he knows it's gone.

Well, I think it's a fantastic idea.

Great. That's decided, then. I'll call the bank first thing tomorrow.

I was hoping you'd call.

So what is this - business or pleasure?

That investment you were talking about.

I want in.

You all right, darling?

All that stuff I said earlier about Lola.

I do know she's a good kid.

I just don't want you getting caught up in it all.

I'm looking forward to meeting all your new friends.

-A couple of months and you won't have time to worry about Jay and Lola.

-Why's that?

Cos you'll have your exams, university applications.

Not to mention all the parties with the new friends.

Trust me, Abi. You're better off without them.

Ah! I hate my life.

You know what I hate? You moping around like a spoilt child.

That girl needs both of you fighting for her in her corner.

So why don't you drop these histrionics, get a grip

and help her!

So did he force himself on you?

What are you talking about?

-Ben.

-No. Of course not.

So how comes you and him ended up...

I don't know, Pops, all right. It just happened.

I can't get my head around this.

Ben! Our Ben!

You know another one, do you?

All the blokes you could've gone with...

Pops, please just drop it.

He's not even...you know.

Well, he did a good impression that night.

-Was it just the once, yeah?

-Pops. I told you.

I'm not going to talk about this any more. So just shut up.

Just drop it!

What's taking her so long?

Thanks, Kat. So how long have those two been giving each other evils?

-About two hours, I reckon.

-What do you reckon, Tam?

Reckon you can tickle them into submission?

-Bagsy the younger one.

-You should do our comedy night.

Me? Nah. Tam's the funny one here, man.

I'm just the Tom to his Jerry. The Tinchy to his Stryder...

-Oh, my days.

-Looks good, doesn't she?

She looks hot like fire! Where you been all my life?

What do you think of Alice's new look, Kat?

Proper little stunner, ain't she?

I should've known better than to ask you.

What's that supposed to mean?

You're not what you'd call an understated beauty, are you?

You'll be wearing that Scotch if you're not careful.

-I think I should go.

-No, you ain't going anywhere.

Take this and get a bottle of cheap Hungarian.

I've got something here for you.

All right. Me first.

-Jay Brown. Will you be my boyfriend?

-I said I wanted to go first!

You snooze, you lose.

Give me till tomorrow, yeah? Let me think it over.

I love you, you muppet.

I don't care what my mum says. You, Lola, Lexi. You're my family now.

Lola?

I'm sorry about what I did.

-Yeah. How is your hand?

-Nothing a tetanus jab didn't sort.

-Where is she?

-Let's talk in my office.

-You know Lola's pleaded not guilty.

-I just read the report.

-And her friend Abi, she said she'll be her witness didn't she, Lo?

-Yeah.

So when can she come home?

-It's not that straightforward.

-No, my solicitor said...

It doesn't matter what your solicitor says. We have procedures to follow.

-She loves that kid.

-I don't doubt it.

What's more of a concern is whether Lola's able to care for Lexi.

Sit down.

I think if my mum found out about this, she'd die.

Like, I mean literally die. And I don't mean quietly.

We're talking, like, spontaneous self-combustion.

So can I stick your name down or not?

Low-achieving Asian youth telling jokes in a backstreet pub.

Yeah, it can't be any worse than last time.

Disappointed, Alice. Very disappointed.

-Just ignore him, all right.

-I should go home.

No, no, listen, we've only just got here.

No, Dad's right. This just doesn't suit me.

Oi! You never let up, do you?

PHONE RINGS, THEN STOPS

-SHE SHRIEKS

-Oi!

You OK?

You all right?

-Can we have another one of these?

-Yeah.

You calmed down now? I'm just trying to look out for my little girl.

-Not that it's any concern of yours.

-You're suffocating her.

-Don't talk rubbish.

-Wrapping her up like she's some porcelain doll.

-Derek, it's just weird.

-You want to remember who you're talking to.

Does she? Why exactly?

Bottle of white to take away, please, Kat.

Threatening little girls, that's about your level, Del.

-You just can't keep that zipped, can you?

-Mum...

It's all right. I'm not scared of him.

What have you got to say, eh?

Carry on like this, and you'll frighten her away.

I don't need you to tell me how to look after my little girl, thank you very much.

I need some help here, guys!

Alice! Alice! Oh, my God. Sit down.

-Oh, my darling, look at your face.

-I'm fine, I just fell and hit my face.

-What's happened?

-Someone grabbed her bag.

-I'm going to kill him.

Mate, he was on a bike. I tried to grab him, but the scumbag was too quick for me.

-Let's get you sorted.

-You keep your hands off of her, you.

-I'm just trying to help, Derek.

-You've done enough already.

-What's that supposed to mean?

Come on, sweetheart, let me get you home. Come on.

Thanks.

All right.

So this interim care hearing tomorrow...

-Will determine whether Lexi remains in care.

-Till when?

Until we're satisfied you're able to parent her properly.

-How long?

-Up to eight weeks.

-What?

-No.

-During which time Lola will have our full support.

That makes everything all right, then, don't it?

She'll be asked to attend new parenting classes.

No, I don't need that. Tell her, Pops. I don't.

There'll be three weekly contact sessions with Lexi.

Lola will be assessed on her ability to care for her.

She hasn't done anything wrong!

Oi. My Pops is talking to you.

We don't need no care hearing. She's learnt from her mistakes.

-I'm afraid it's out of my hands.

-What are you writing about me?

-Lola, leave it.

-No, I want to know what she has to say about me.

"Nappy rash. Suspected hangover." You'll like this one, Pops.

"Bad timekeeping. Late for three consecutive meetings."

I'll tell you what you can do with your poxy folder, shall I?

Now give me back my baby!

I don't think you realise just how serious this is, Lola.

Carry on like this and you'll lose Lexi for good.

CHRISTIAN GROANS

Sy?

Sy?

MASOOD: So you'll go to the bank first thing?

-I said I would, didn't I?

-Must have a few grand in that account.

I don't remember, Masood.

We can spare 500. Just think of his little face.

This is going to be the one wedding gift he won't forget in a hurry.

Hmmm?

This collar's making me itch.

What's going to happen, Pops?

We go in there and we make our case.

-What if it don't go our way?

-That ain't going to happen.

Yeah but Trish said yesterday...

Never mind about yesterday. OK? Lexi's coming home with us.

Denny, breakfast!

Scrambled egg on gluten-free bread for Little Lord Fauntleroy.

-Are they free-range?

-I laid them myself.

Yeah.

Don't mind if I do. Rrrr.

Is Denise about?

No she's off visiting Libby, can I help?

This place certainly seems busy.

Yeah, we're coining it...

Great news.

Because I need my money back.

Through there on the right.

We were all a little surprised to get your call, Mr Branning.

Oh yeah? Why's that?

You requesting to see an officer of the law.

In fact, we all assumed it was a wind up.

Seeing as we normally turn up here uninvited.

Why don't I just take down some details from your daughter?

And then what happens?

We'll issue a description of the suspect

-and then we'll take it from there.

-Is that it?

Realistically that's all that we can really do at this stage.

What about the phone? The phone had a tracking device on it.

Can't you find him through that?

I'm afraid that they're very easily disabled, Mr Branning.

-WHITNEY:

-Hello?

-You should've stayed up in Suffolk, love.

It's not safe for young ladies round in this Square.

-Why, what's happened?

-Alice got mugged last night.

-You all right?

-Yeah, it was just a bruise, that's all.

Don't worry, I'll protect you.

If I could just take down your name and date of birth, please.

-Alice Branning...

-Hold on a second, love. I pay my taxes, don't I?

Right.

Well, I have done.

So that entitles me to the best possible service you lot can offer.

-So if it's all the same with you, Sergeant Heathcliff...

-Heathcote.

Heathcote, I want every available officer on this case.

You can't just waltz in here and start making demands.

I am asking you as a friend.

And as a friend, I'm telling you to sling your hook.

Hey baby! I got some great news...

Not now. Dick Turpin here is trying to get her hands on my cash.

OK.

Why don't I just leave you ladies to fight this out?

Do you know there wouldn't even BE a Kimberley's Palace

-if it wasn't for my family.

-Excuse me?

Have you been hit in the head or something?

Or have you actually forgotten that it was your nutter of a husband

that burnt this place down?

"Blood money" you called it.

All I'm asking for is a loan.

-OK? £500 - that's all.

-What do you need a loan for?

You got a roof over your head? Clothes on your back.

Everything that meant anything to me was in this house.

Photographs, letters, my old silicone implants...

You know what? Just forget I asked.

You're lucky that I'm not suing you for post-traumatic stress.

Dee can't even look at a candle without breaking out into hives.

-TANYA:

-Here she comes!

-BOTH:

-# Happy pretend birthday to you, happy pretend birthday to you... #

I remember when you used to be up at the crack of dawn on your birthday.

-Say "16"?

-# Happy pretend birthday... #

-It's not my birthday.

Yeah, we know that but just humour us will you, please?

Happy pretend birthday.

It's a year long pass to the zoo.

So go any time you like.

She doesn't like it. She don't like it.

I said she'd prefer cash, obviously.

She's worried about her mate, isn't she?

You all right, Abs?

-I love it.

-Oh, good.

-Happy pretend birthday.

-Remember, Abi's got some

of her new sixth form friends coming later, haven't you?

Did we put carrot sticks on the list?

-Anyone special?

-There could be.

You never said you had a new boyfriend?

-Probably some science geek, I reckon.

-How's Lola?

The hearing should have finished by now.

That baby needs to be back where she belongs.

You heard what they said. It's only temporary, isn't it?

There'll be another hearing in eight weeks.

We just have to give them a bit of time, Lo.

Then they can see how good you are with Lexi.

They've had three months - stop being so flaming positive!

She ain't coming home. You know that as well as I do.

-But if we play ball with them...

-It doesn't matter. They're in charge.

It'll be paperwork, phone calls, poxy conference meetings.

-We won't get a look in.

-You can't give up now.

I'm not giving up but that's life, isn't it, eh?

Your life, Dad's life, my life...

and now my Lexi's.

-I bet you're pleased anyway, aren't you?

-How can you say that?

Because you never wanted me to have her in the first place.

-Hey, I love Lexi.

-So why didn't you fight harder?

And do you know that her cousin was attacked only last week, don't you?

-Yes, I do.

-Right, good.

So I take it you're going to pull a few people in?

Have an identity parade.

Absolutely, Mr Branning. I'll get right on it.

You know my brother was one of your lot.

Broke my father's heart.

So I suggest that you go back down the station

and you tell your Superintendent

that this is Jack Branning's niece we're talking about.

Eh? Good.

I'll phone you this afternoon to see how you're getting on. Good boy.

Oi, you! You pleased with yourself, are you?

Dressing my daughter up like some cheap tart.

Lucky it's her handbag that they grabbed and not her.

Oi, leave it out, Del.

You defending her? She practically pimped my daughter out.

-Oh, do you know what? I've had just about enough of this.

-Good, good.

-I've warned you, Del, lay off her.

-Is that a threat, Maxwell?

Can't you just get on with her for my sake?

-I'd hate for me and you to fall out.

-All I want is an easy life.

-Is that too much to ask for?

-That's all any of us wants.

-So bury the hatchet will you, please?

-I'd love to.

Look, look, you're my baby brother, Max.

I'd do anything for you.

Just as soon as she apologises.

Ma?

Your father wants to send you to the Canary Islands.

What're you talking about?

Your honeymoon - he wants to surprise you with some tickets.

-He doesn't have to do that.

-I know that.

But you try talking to your father

when he's got his mind made up about something.

He thinks I'm at the bank right now, Syed.

OK, so I'll talk to him.

He can't know that I gave you that money.

-It would break his heart.

-What do we do?

-£500 - that's all I need...

-Ma, look it's all tied up.

I know, but please, you must have access to it, surely?

-Please, I promised your father no more secrets.

-Ma...

Syed?

This needs signing for.

It looks very important.

Yeah, it's just a new business credit card.

Well don't go mad, we've only just got on our feet.

You haven't seen your mother, have you?

Not since yesterday.

OK.

Hey...

This time next week, YOU will be married.

DOOR SHUTS

He's gone.

-So what do I say to him, huh?

-I'll sort it.

How?

-Syed!

-Just leave it with me, all right?

SIREN BLARES TRAIN RUMBLES

I need your help.

Yes, that's good.

-Come on, Denny, that's enough now, baby.

-Come on, he's enjoying himself, aren't you, mate?

I just don't want him thinking fighting's the answer, that's all.

The boy has got to learn to defend himself, hasn't he?

-He's six, Jack.

-Yeah, didn't do me any harm.

That's debatable.

I mean look at you. Your stance is all wrong, isn't it?

You should be standing with your feet shoulder-width apart.

What do you reckon Dennis? Sounds like fighting talk to me.

Here he is - the man of the hour.

It's nothing.

What you talking about? Derek's had you practically knighted.

Oh, yeah? Perhaps he'd like to volunteer for Fighting Fit.

So you got the official nod?

RAY CLEARS THROAT

So what happens now?

Once we get the money in the bank then we open the doors

-to the local kids...

-Street rats.

Then we get them to ditch the gangs and then they start boxing with us.

Just make sure you keep them in line.

Cos the last thing I need is a bunch of hoodies giving me grief.

Don't listen to him, Ray, I think it's a great idea.

Thank you, Shaz. Listen, have either of you lot seen Kim at all?

No, not since this morning.

That woman, man!

-You know what, just tell her I'll be at the gym, yeah?

-OK.

Come on then, where were we?

I just knocked you out.

-Really? I think I would've remembered that.

-My Dad was a boxer.

-Was he now?

-Before he left to join the army.

He had a helicopter and a medal.

-Is that right?

-Except he died saving his...

Comrades. Right, come on, baby. Let's get you in the bath.

We've got a party to get to, remember?

His old man sounds too good to be true.

He was.

Please, Phil, I wouldn't ask if we weren't desperate.

I don't see what I can do.

Get one of your flash lawyers, anything that can help our case.

It's your problem, you deal with it.

Do you know what our life's going to be like over the next few months?

And for what, eh? Because once that lot make up their minds about us,

me and Lola, we ain't going to get a look in.

-Close the door on your way out, will you?

-She needs your help, Phil.

Everyone that girl's ever loved has been taken away from her.

Billy, don't you think I've got enough on my own plate?

You think I've got time to sort out your mess as well?

Good old Mitchells, eh?

Always there for each other when the chips are down.

Don't blame me that you can't keep your own family in check.

Stupid thing!

I can come back later if you like.

Do what you want.

It's just Mum's throwing me this party later...

I just thought you might want to get out for a bit, that's all.

How's Lexi?

Haven't seen her since Friday.

But you are going to get her back, aren't you?

-Not if they get their way.

-There must be something you can do.

Pops reckons we've just gotta do as Social Services tell us.

Maybe he's right.

No! No, Abi, I'm sick of it.

I was supposed to take her to Stratford, you know, shopping.

I had tickets for the London Eye.

All the things I never got to do as a kid.

And her poxy foster parents aren't going to know

what Dizzee Rascal song gets her to sleep.

-CRYING:

-She needs me,

she needs her mum.

It's OK, Lola. It's all right.

Come on, you.

What you looking for?

What happened to that money I left out this morning?

Yas needed a cardigan - not to mention a winter coat.

What do you expect me to do? Let her freeze to death?

Of course not. It's just Mum's a bit short, that's all.

What, you bailing them out again?

Is that the time? I've got to get back to the restaurant.

We've got stuff to do. We need to talk about DJs, caterers...

-Tonight, I promise.

-There's not going to be a wedding at this rate.

-I said I would, didn't I?

-What is up with you?

This is supposed to be the happiest day of our lives.

-It will be.

-So what's with the face?

What face?

The face that looks like you don't want to be here.

PHONE BEEPS

Yeah, it's me again.

I need a favour.

Why does she take so long?

First rule with women, Dennis - be patient.

Well? How do I look?

-BOTH:

-Beautiful.

NOW can we go?

Look, I'll catch you up, OK?

Yeah, well Abi's expecting us.

-Yeah, I'll be five minutes, Jack.

-Oi.

Phil! Phil, hang on.

I've heard about Lola.

What about it?

Well, will you tell her I'm thinking of her?

Is it true what they're saying about Ben?

-Well, have you told him yet?

-He's got enough to deal with, hasn't he?

It's his daughter, Phil.

He ain't a lot of use to her in there, is he?

It's a good job they've got you on the outside then, isn't it?

-Lola ain't my problem.

-Well, Lexi is.

And it's your job to protect them, no matter what.

-Sharon, I don't need the hassle.

-I don't believe you.

You fight for them, Phil.

Because right now they're the only family you've got.

I can't believe they just took her.

Do you reckon there was more to it?

Like what?

I don't know.

Maybe she, like, left her on a bus or something?

Lauren...

No, seriously, you don't just take a kid for lamping someone, do you?

You girls got something you want to say?

So you still coming to Abi's party then, yeah?

Um, no, I'm going to stay in with Tyler tonight.

Come on, Whitney, you can do that any night.

Please, do not leave me with my family, come on.

-We're a bit old for a 16th anyway.

-Joey, tell her.

-Tell her what?

-That it's not a party without her.

-She's got a point.

-Is Lucy coming?

She's working. So you've got me all to yourself.

Huh.

All right, Trace? Just a lemonade, please.

You know sometimes I think this family's jinxed.

Four generations in care.

How's that for luck?

-It ain't going to happen again, Bill.

-Ain't it?

She blames me, you know?

Of course she don't.

Jay, I'm supposed to be looking out for her.

And what do I do, eh?

I let that lot waltz in and take her baby.

There was nothing you could do.

When I think of what that girl's gone through.

Living in care, losing her old man...

She don't deserve none of this.

Listen, this ain't your fault.

Try telling that to Lola.

I don't...I don't know why I'm surprised.

I'm a disappointment to everyone, ain't I?

Just a big, fat waste of space.

You sorted me out, didn't you?

Didn't do a very good job, did I?

Moved in with Phil as soon as you could.

Yeah, look where that's got me.

What's...

What's happening with Lexi then?

Jay, you know what those places are like.

Once they get their claws in, they ain't letting go.

What if we lose her for good?

-Not going to happen.

-How do you know?

Because she's got you, hasn't she? Fighting for her.

-I don't think I've got any fight left in me.

-Yes, you have.

You're Billy Mitchell.

BILLY SCOFFS

Ray?

Sorry about that, man.

So come on then.

What are we celebrating?

Don't tell me. Sasha is going to boarding school.

That was a joke.

You're going to take me to an all-inclusive in Cancun?

I've been given the official go-ahead for my project.

Of course. Thanks to yours truly. Ooh!

Well done, babe!

How about you lend me £500 to get Eva Braun off my back?

I didn't think so.

So come on, let's open up the bubbly.

I've got five Polish coming in at three.

Is that it?

What?

-Look, I've done my bit, Rocky, it's down to you.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But a little bit of support wouldn't go amiss.

-I DO support you.

-When it suits you.

HE SCOFFS

What?

What are you talking about?

Oh, Ray!

All right, how about I put on some boxing gloves?

Then we can work up a sweat.

Yeah?

DOOR SLAMS

-He's not here yet, you know?

-Who?

Abi's new boyfriend.

-I reckon it's some geek from school.

-Yeah, well I don't care who it is.

Anything's an improvement on the last one.

-Want a drink, Whit?

-Oh, yeah.

Right, come on then, give me the low-down.

-Who's the first to kick off?

-My dad.

Usually followed by Uncle Jack.

Oh and just for the record...

If you're planning on sitting down for Christmas Day,

I'd avoid putting on a DVD.

Long story.

DOORBELL RINGS

Babe, it's all right, I'll go.

You all right, Del? You all right, Alice?

-How are you feeling, babe?

-It's just a bruise, I'm fine.

Well, she's lucky she never wound up in the mortuary.

Go on, go through.

Oh, Del, I've got something for you.

It's from Tanya.

Oh, very nice.

You know what women are like. Can never admit they're wrong.

-Think it's her way of making it up to you.

-You know me, Max.

Never one to bear a grudge.

So let's just enjoy the day, shall we?

Yeah, I'll be on my best behaviour.

What's he doing here?

Well, seeing as you've had the good grace to apologise,

we shall say no more about it, Tanya.

Apologise about what? What's he on about?

-Where's the birthday girl?

-She's just coming.

Oh, look at you.

You look an absolute knockout, Abs.

Chip off the old block.

-I bet you broke a few hearts in your day, eh, Cora?

-I had my moments.

Here Jack, Jack...

I phoned your lot three times today

and they still haven't got back to me.

-Do you think I should go down there?

-I wouldn't bother.

What's that supposed to mean?

It's just the police are so overloaded these days.

-Excuse me, who's talking to you?

-Derek, she's right.

-Muggings are ten a penny in this city.

-What am I supposed to do then?

Just sit back whilst my daughter's been violated?

Hopefully in a few weeks' time Alice will have forgotten all about it.

-She's really starting to get on my nerves.

-I beg your pardon?

-Derek...

-I'm trying to talk here. Do you mind?

-Oi.

-It's all right, Jack.

-I can handle myself.

-Oh, can you?

-Yeah.

-Well, this is family business.

Would you mind keeping that shut, please?

Oi, Derek! Do you want to just play nicely?

Top up?

Remind me, Sharon, where do you stand on the '80s?

Bad perms and tragic jumpers mainly.

Forget it, Tan.

-You're not going to turn her into Jane.

-Come to think of it.

You don't have any more Bananarama have you?

Have I got any more Bananarama(?) Do you hear that, Max?

She only wants to know if I've got more Bananarama.

DOORBELL RINGS

-I'll get it.

-Is that him, Abs?

-It could be.

MUSIC: "Love In The Third Degree" by Bananarama

For anyone who doesn't know, this is my boyfriend...

Jay.

Well, that's a first.

Asking for a return before I've even made the investment.

I can't thank you enough.

I don't make a habit of lending money to strangers, you know.

It's just as well I like you.

-Cheers.

-So that's twice in one week.

Does that mean we're officially dating?

Listen, you have to go.

-I come all this way and I don't get a drink?

-Next time, yeah?

-Well, when will I see you?

-Not here.

Listen, we're business partners now.

You're stuck with me.

I'll call you, yeah?

Who was that?

Oh, he works for the caterer. Told you I'd get things sorted, didn't I?

You coming?

Did you see my mum's face?

My heart's still racing, you know.

Do you think we should go back in?

There's no rush, is there?

Nice one, Abs.

Lola...

I'm so sorry if, you know,

the makeover did have anything to do with what happened.

Oh, don't be silly, it was my bag he was after.

-You were lucky Ray was there, weren't you?

-He was amazing.

Yeah? Your knight in shining armour?

Yeah, I never really got to say thank you properly.

You should, go and find him.

What, now?

Yeah, if you want.

CONVERSATION INAUDIBLE

Don't worry about your dad.

Tell you what, why don't you give him this?

I think he'd appreciate it.

-Thank you.

-It's all right.

Quite easy on the eye, isn't he?

-I hadn't noticed.

-No?

MUSIC: "Scream" by Usher

# Get on your back # If you want to scream, yeah... #

-If it wasn't your birthday, he'd be out on his ear.

-Hmm.

# I'll take you there

# Get you going like a... #

Let me help you.

No, I can manage, thanks.

How's...

How's Anthony?

Tyler, you mean.

Oh, yeah. Same difference I suppose.

Either way he's punching above his weight, isn't he?

-Is that right?

-Yeah.

Trust me, babes, it's only a matter of time

before something better comes along.

-Like you, you mean?

-You said it, not me.

You're so full of yourself.

Why did you...?

-Why did you do that?

-Because I could.

Look at him standing there disrespecting you.

He's all right, Del. A good kid at heart.

-He's an accessory to murder!

-Have you got something to say to us?

No, Derek's just wondering how Lola's getting on, that's all.

Well, she's lost her baby. How do you think she's getting on?

Yeah, nasty business.

Least that little girl's got someone who can look after her properly now.

My daughter was right.

You don't know when to shut your mouth, do you?

Tell you what, how about a toast, eh? To the birthday girl.

Hold on a minute, hold on a minute, where's Alice?

I came to say thank you...

for helping me yesterday.

Was there something else?

It got me thinking.

Maybe you could teach me some self-defence?

Stop my dad and brother worrying so much.

What, you really think I've got time to start training you

on top of everything else?

RAY SCOFFS

Sorry.

Alice!

12 o'clock sharp tomorrow, all right?

Did you get the money?

-I told you I would, didn't I?

-Yes, yes, yes.

Zainab?

Not a word to your father.

In here.

-Well, how did you get on at the bank?

-See for yourself.

Yeah!

We can give it to him next week.

Let Syed choose where he wants to go. You know what?

I have got a good feeling about this wedding.

-Let's not tempt fate.

-No, I mean it.

Syed's doing wonders at the Argee Bhajee and as for Tam...

Well, he'll find his own calling.

And what about us?

I feel like I've got my wife back.

-I haven't been anywhere.

-You know what I mean.

There's been a great, big cloud hanging over this family.

But not any more.

-No, this is our time.

-Yeah.

# You would still have me

# We'll work together, you'll see... #

-So, enjoying your birthday?

-Why has it always got to be about them?

I know and they think we've got problems(!)

DOOR SLAMS

-Any sign of Alice?

-What's it got to do with you?

-Oi! Don't talk to her like that.

-Everybody just calm down.

If anything's happened to that little girl...

Don't you think you're overreacting a bit?

At last, someone's speaking some sense.

She's probably gone to see a couple of mates.

-I thought I told you to button it.

-Derek, I said that's enough.

Jack, it's all right. I've taken on bigger bullies than him in me time.

-Have you?

-Yeah.

-You want to watch this one, Jack.

She ain't had a lot of luck with fellas.

Stick around long enough and you might end up

with a knife in your back like poor little Dennis' old man.

Oi!

I thought it was common knowledge that his old man got murdered.

-See what you done?

-Denny?

-Sharon?

-Just stay away from us.

Just when I think you couldn't stoop any lower,

you go and pull a stunt like that.

Well I didn't know the little fella was standing there, did I?

-Get him out of my house.

-It's all right, he didn't mean any harm.

I'm sick of this. Why will you never stand up for me?

Fine! I'll do it myself, shall I?

YOU stay away from me and my family. Do I make myself clear?

Go on, you heard her.

Big mistake, Tanya.

Big mistake.

SIREN BLARES

DOOR SLAMS

MUSIC: "Please, Please Let Me" by The Smiths

-You look comfy.

-I am as it happens.

Don't you want to know what I've been up to today?

-Not really, no.

-Been on the blower to Trish.

Lexi is coming for a visit tomorrow.

-What?

-It's only three hours. But it's a start, isn't it?

Come here!

BANGING ON FRONTDOOR

All right, all right, I'm coming!

SHE LAUGHS

-Now's not a good time, Phil.

-Is Lola there?

What do you want?

I'll help you get Lexi back.

But we do it on my terms.

What's it to be?

We don't need your help, Phil.

This is my family.

We do it my way.

SIREN BLARES

Sharon. It's me...again.

Denny!

Hiya. Right, what you having?

I ain't hungry.

-Oh, come on, Lo, my shout.

-I know what you're trying to do.

You're trying to prove that everything's different,

but it's going to take more than a bacon roll.

Abi. She must have a guilty conscience.

-Oi.

-Look, what difference does it make if Jay and Abi are together?

They're still your mates. Only thing that matters now is Lexi.

-And you don't think I know that?

-Look, I know you're a great mum...

Yeah, but just saying it don't make it true.

You ARE a great mum, but I can't prove it unless you help me.

They're never going to see me as anything more than a care home kid

that can't look after her baby or stop getting into trouble.

We've got this visit this afternoon, yeah? Supervised. Three hours long.

Well, over that three hours, me and you are going to prove to anyone

and everyone that Lexi belongs with you.

We ain't got no choice, Lo. We got to play them at their own game.

-Yeah, well, that sounds impossible.

-It's not.

We can do this if we just stick to the rules.

So come on, eh... Stick to the rules.

Stick to the rules.

Marie, bacon roll, lots of ketchup.

Do you know, Sharon's still not answering?

Morning. You all right?

She's not talking to you.

Yeah, and I'm not surprised. Derek threatened her, Dad.

What's going to happen, Mum?

Nothing. It'll blow over.

This is Derek we're talking about.

He's not just going to let you embarrass him in front of everyone, is he?

-Don't go to work.

-What's wrong with you two? This ain't the Sopranos!

Well, I'm glad I got to say my piece.

Someone's got to stick up for this family, haven't they?

-I'm off. See you.

-Uh! Before you go, you come here, you.

Don't you ever go off without telling me

where you're going again, young lady, do you hear me?

I want to be kept in the loop, as to your movements at all time,

especially in the evening.

Sorry, I was knackered. I had an early night.

Well, I wasn't to know that, was I?

I mean, you can't just go walkabout in the middle of a party, can you?

I just went to thank Ray.

Well, why didn't you say that?

I mean, you caused a lot of bother, Alice.

It was just a spur of the moment...Tanya's idea.

Oh, I see.

Look, Dad, I know you want to make up for 18 years' worth of worry,

but you've got to relax.

Nothing's going to happen to me.

I've even got a self-defence class later.

Who with? Why didn't you come and speak to me about that?

I mean, I could have shown you how to look after your...

What did he mean? Why did he say that about Dad?

-Not now, Denny.

-But I want to know!

If you'd come downstairs when I called you,

I'd have had time to explain, wouldn't I?

Was Dad stabbed?

For the last time, Denny, forget about that man. He's a liar. OK?

Sharon.

-I'm late.

-Listen, can I see you later? I'm worried about you.

I said, I'm late.

But what did that man mean?

Was it a knife that Dad was stabbed with?

Tell your boss to drop his prices or we'll go somewhere else.

I liked you in that suit.

I suppose I could get used to seeing you in this.

Suppose you're way too busy to help me out?

Wouldn't want to get sweaty before a meeting.

-You don't like dirty work, then?

-Depends who it's with.

You seem to have a lot business round here, lately.

Well, when my investment comes through, I'll be able to

afford to pay someone else to do all this.

Shame. Won't be as nice a view.

You know when Lexi comes round, I thought I could put all her

toys on the sofa, so it's like Christmas or something.

-What do you reckon?

-I reckon that's a good idea.

This your action plan is it, Billy? Big breakfasts?

Listen, Phil, we ain't going to be bullied here.

-When he lets you down, yeah...

-You'll have a long wait.

Oi, don't listen to him. He's just jealous, ain't he?

He knows all I need is my Pops, right?

Yeah.

-You all right, Bill?

-You all right, Max?

Max, take a pew.

I was beginning to think I was disowned.

It's all right. I'm not a man who bears a grudge.

I'll admit I was a bit out of sorts after some of the things

that your missus said to me last night.

Being turfed out of a family event like that.

Still, at least I know I've got you in my corner, eh?

Del, how am I supposed to defend you, eh?

After what you done last night? You know, you upset everyone.

-You threatened Tanya...

-By calling a spade a spade?

I'm backing her on this one, so...

You know, when you first brought Tanya round for Sunday lunch,

she didn't eat the fat on her lamb.

Do you know what Mother said to me afterwards?

After you took her home?

She said, "High maintenance."

She said to me, "Derek, watch her.

"Any girl that far up herself will cause wars in a family like this."

Well, thanks for that, Derek.

So the gloves are off now, ain't they?

Your mouthy missus has made it perfectly clear

what she thinks of me.

Maybe it's time that she learnt a few home truths about her old man.

Del...

All right, sweetheart?

Put me through to Jimmie, will you? Phil Mitchell.

Never mind what I want, just put me through to Jimmie - now!

# You know you like it but it drives you insane

# You know you like it but it drives you insane

# You know you want it but you're scared of the shame

# What you want what you going to do

# You know you like it but it drives you... #

That's your contract. Signed, sealed...

Delivered.

You property hunting?

Yeah, I was looking at some penthouses not far from here.

There's always opportunities. You've just got to know where to look.

I might have to pick your brains sometime. Nothing like a bit of local knowledge.

-Sure. If you're interested.

-I'm very interested.

PHONE RINGS

I'll leave you to it.

Christian. Whoa. Whoa. Calm down.

DOOR BUZZER

DOOR BUZZER AGAIN

DOOR BUZZER AGAIN

DOOR BUZZER AGAIN

Come on!

DOOR BUZZER AGAIN

DOOR BUZZER AGAIN

Oh what, you proud of yourself, are you?

I slept like a log, thank you very much.

Oh, I stopped you getting your leg over. You're upset. I get it.

No. You don't get it, cos you never do.

It's called looking out for family, Jack. A rare thing these days.

-But don't worry, I've got your back.

-You know what?

The truth is you can't stand seeing anyone else happy, can you?

How could you have forgotten to send out the invitations?!

It wasn't intentional.

Babe, they were supposed to have been sent out weeks ago.

I fail to see how having a go at me is going to speed things up.

You trying to tell me something? Is that it?

Don't be stupid.

DOOR BUZZER

Look, I hold my hands up - I've been distracted with the business.

I have, and I'm sorry.

-Hello.

-Hey.

I have an appointment for you both. Five o'clock. It is a surprise.

Zainab, I'm really not in the mood.

I've just found out that Sy...

that somehow the invitations haven't been sent out.

I didn't do it on purpose.

OK, never mind. Come to mine, I'll help you get them out. Come on.

That buzzer's been driving me mad.

I wasn't sure if you were going to let me in.

-Yeah, well, if I'd known...

-I've been so worried about you.

With you not answering any of my calls...

Yeah, I dropped my phone in the bath.

Right.

Look, I'm going to take Oscar swimming after school.

Do you want me to take Dennis as well?

-I've got to get on, Tanya, OK?

-Sharon...

We are still mates, ain't we?

-You've got to believe me, I never told Derek...

-Oh, save it.

Look, I don't how he found out. The man's poison.

I swear, I never told him - I never told anyone.

I never spread stuff. Not stuff like that, I wouldn't...

Sharon...

I've always prided myself on being a trustworthy friend.

Me and my mate Jane, we used to put the world to rights,

the stuff she's told me I swear I'll take it to the grave.

Jane's stuff weren't half as bad as the things you...

I'm making things worse, aren't I?

Look, you do believe me, don't you, Sharon?

I don't know who to believe, Tanya.

All I know is I've got a little boy

who doesn't know if he's coming or going...

Well, then let me take him swimming.

Please, let me do something nice for the two of you.

-You know, after the shock he's had. I can take his mind...

-All right.

His costume's at the school, OK?

Great. Well, maybe I'll give him his dinner an' all.

And then we can put them in front of a DVD,

-maybe open a bottle of wine...

-No, you're all right.

I'll pick him up and give him his tea.

Sure. Whatever suits you.

Hello. Lexi, it's Mum.

We are just going round and round in circles.

OK, what about my earlier suggestion?

We cannot write on the invitation.

'Partners permitted, only if happily married!'

-Why not?

-Because it's ridiculous!

I agree with Christian.