Masood is stunned when his wayward brother AJ arrives on the Square, but it soon becomes clear why Zainab is not a fan. Kat's efforts to spend time alone with Alfie are thwarted.
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Do you mind?!
Forgive me. I wasn't watching where you were going...
What do you expect? Standing up in the way doing nothing.
Oi, you're not a forensic scientist are you?
-Or know any?
Plenty. Miami, New York, Vegas...
A comedian. Just what this place needs...
-Do I look like a comedian?
Actually you look like somebody who doesn't know whether he's coming or going.
Such a shame Denise can't make this.
She deserves it more than anyone else.
I mean, an ingrown toenail - how random is that?
I know what you're doing...
What? I'm getting ready to go.
Looking for a way out. Any excuse not to go.
Ridiculous. Why would I do that?
We'll be OK.
-Is a little trooper.
-Is a big boy now.
-Is stronger than you think.
Will be here. Always.
Come on, Zee. Go and enjoy yourself.
-You deserve this.
-I didn't even want it in the first place.
Oh yes, you did. You did. You did, deep down.
Otherwise you wouldn't have "won". I'll miss you, Zee. We all will.
-But we'll cope.
It's just two nights.
We'll be fine.
There you go. 100 brushes - just like a princess.
I'm not a princess. And I'm not a horse either.
Really. Seems to me you're turning into a right little mare.
What's got into you?
I'm growing up. There aren't any real princesses anyway.
Not like in the stories.
What'd you mean?
In books, they're nice.
These days they've all got eating disorders and having affairs.
That's what Mum says.
Why is that?
-It's called growing up.
PHONE VIBRATES What's that buzzing noise?
Sorry! Look, off you go, you're done.
-Did you hear that buzzing?
-Go on. Get your school bag.
Shirl. You OK?
Yeah, I'm fine. Why you asking?
No reason. So you starting the burger van up again?
No flies on you, is there, Benjamin?
D'you want any help?
Nah... I reckon I've had enough help from you.
This is something I gotta do on my own.
Hey, Sugar Ray?
Hey. Been trying to text you, babe.
Hey. Yeah, I know, I got your messages...
and thank you for my spa weekend.
-You're welcome, babe.
-Hey, have you seen what Denise's done to the colour of the B&B while I was away?
What, she's trying to improve it. Listen, are you busy?
-Only, I got a surprise for you.
-What, another one?
-Meet me here at 11 sharp.
Wear something comfortable.
Mm-hm. As in, something loose.
That's my middle name. Mm! Thank you.
Eleven o'clock. Where's Kat?
-You all right?
Another day off? Doing something nice?
-It's a surprise.
-Oh, is that right?
-Well, enjoy yourselves...
It's going to be explosive.
You hear that? There's going to be a "bang" today.
-See ya later!
-See you later.
She's no princess.
No? Then why's she got the prince?
You're going to be late. You've already got an umbrella.
It's back-up. It's called being prepared, Masood.
-It's the middle of summer.
-Yeah. The Great British summer.
Which means I'll need another scarf! Gloves!
Nah. She's not bonkers. She's just worried.
MUSIC: "Weird Fishes" by Radiohead
Any particular reason why you're standing there next to that car?
What, this car? The 1977 Blue Daimler Sovereign 4.2 litre?
-Yes. That one.
-I was thinking about nicking it.
-I beg your pardon?
-It's why I'm standing here.
Thinking about nicking this Daimler, taking it for a joy ride and then selling it for parts.
It's the Asian in me, innit?
Funny(!) You got a lip on you, mate.
Two, last time I checked.
Well, next time you check you might have a fat one,
if you don't jog on right now.
Couldn't point me in the direction of number 41, could you?
All right, Shirl?
I know what it looks like, Jay.
-But I'm off to start a business, not join the homeless.
-That's fine. Need a hand?
Yeah. Open the door for me.
There you go.
I think we should help her.
She don't want help.
Yeah, making burgers.
But she didn't say anything about advertising 'em.
OK. So how many we got? Ten? Ten, OK.
Brilliant. I'll be there for about one o'clock.
Nice. I'll call you back.
Babe, what are you wearing?
Somethin' loose. Took ages to decide. You like it?
It's my birthday! Didn't Dad say?
He got me the day off school.
What are you wearing?
What did you tell her?
Babe, I told her to wear something loose and comfortable.
And not to be late.
You won't have time to get changed before we go.
Make sure she gets on the train.
Make sure she understands that you'll miss her,
but you'll be fine.
I'll miss her and I'll be fine.
Yes. And she's to relax. And have fun.
Are we are talking about the same woman?
KNOCK AT DOOR
-I got it. Tam's got your suitcase.
Mas... Long -
What are you doing here?
Kamil needs to have a bath at 6.30.
And please, can you make sure that your father remembers to feed him this time?
-We were planning on leaving him outside to be reared by wolves.
-Tamwar, I am depending on you, OK?
Your father, he means well, but he's prone to distractions.
-So I need you to be my...
My eyes and my ears, Tamwar!
-Are you mad?!
-A little peeved, yes!
What are you doing here?
What do you think? I've come to see my brother.
Now? Without any warning?
What do you think Zainab's going to say when she sees you?
What Zainab always says when she sees me - "Oh, very bad man, very bad influence", yada yada yada...
I came to see you, bruv. It's been way too long.
What? Where are you going?
No. There's a cafe around the corner. Wait there.
No. Follow these rules. OK?
I knew I could count on you.
Least it's not too many(!)
Who was it?
-At the door, who was it?
Uh... No-one. Important, I mean.
I'm taking Mum to the station.
Nah nah. Doesn't matter... I'll do it.
Why don't you go to work or something?
Because I'm not working today, remember?
Well - go and get some fresh air or...you know.
I was. By walking Mum...
Whoever is walking, please, can we go now?
You will not defeat me, got that?
I've lived through all sorts, survived too much,
to be beaten down by a flaming griddle pan!
Yep. Me and Sasha do it every year on her birthday.
It's a tradition.
Whatever happened to pin the tail on the donkey?
It's kind of like that - but with guns.
MUSIC ON HEADPHONES
Are you getting anything?
-Are you getting anything?
Since you ask so nicely...
HE CLEARS THROAT
Haven't seen you around here before.
Er, no. It's my first time.
Oh. An East End virgin? How exciting.
Welcome to the manor.
Can I get that coffee to go, please?
Masood! Jaldi karna! Sara din eh gaya mere paas?
I don't want to be standing here all day.
-Come on, then.
-Where are you going?
Thought you might prefer the bus. Save a couple of pounds.
Why would I want to spend an extra hour on the bus just to save two pounds!
-What is it?
I-I just thought I might stop for a coffee on the way back.
That's a nice idea. I might get something for the journey myself.
What? No! No.
You don't want to be late...
Two seconds ago you were said why don't I take the bus,
now you're saying I don't have time for a takeaway coffee?
What is wrong with you?
What are you doing, Masood?
Just getting the door for you.
What, like I can't get the door for myself?
Oh, one coffee and one tea to take away, please.
You all right?
Now, it's Blues versus Blacks.
The objective is to get to this helicopter. Inside is a package.
Get this package to the clearly marked flag.
What? That's it?
Without getting shot. Two hits and you're out.
OK, everyone. You got it?
All right. Everyone ready? Let's go!
SHOUTING AND CHEERING
Flamin', stupid, worthless... get it to work...
BANGING AND CRASHING
I know you're in there.
You've found yourself a hobby! Do you need a hand?
No. I'm fine. I can handle this by myself.
BANGING AND CRASHING
THEY LAUGH AND BANTER
...she leans over and she goes "East End virgin? How exciting!"
Seriously, I thought she was going to jump me there and then.
Yeah, well, with Rose anything's possible. You had a lucky escape.
Yeah. We both did. What was all that about with Zainab? I know she don't like me, but...
It wasn't you. Well, it was partly you. She was going somewhere.
And I knew, if she saw you, she'd stay. That's all.
And it was important for her to go?
Because this trip is the first time, in a long time,
that Mum can even start thinking about being herself again.
Who is that?
Syed? Damn... You ain't changed a bit.
AJ, this is Tamwar.
Tamwar, meet my brother Amjad.
Uncle AJ. Yeah. I've heard a lot about you.
This is when it all starts to go awry.
"Awry"! Big words...
In here, Kat.
Did Alfie find you?
Didn't know he was looking.
He's been trying to call you.
Yeah, I left me phone...
Did he say what it's about?
Seemed a bit hacked off, though.
-Oh yeah? What?
I don't really know.
Um, if you're not busy,
there's someone that might be able to use our help.
# What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! #
So, you're Uncle AJ. The black sheep of the family.
Ooh, black sheep?
I suppose I can cope with that. We've all got a few skeletons in our closet.
You can say that again.
So...why are you here?
I wanted to see my brother, his family...
OK. Why now?
No. I mean - why now? And not ever before.
It's not like I've had that many invitations.
It's simple, Tamwar.
Your mum doesn't like me. She really doesn't like my wife.
-In fact, she called my wife ...
-We really don't need to go into any specifics.
-Why does she hate him?
-Does Zainab need a reason?
She has her reasons, AJ.
We may not agree with them - but she has them.
Basically, Tam -
I am a bad Muslim. And I'm a bad influence on your father.
Your mother thinks that when we...
get together, we, um...
y'know, egg each other on. Get into trouble...
Like sodium and chlorine gas being mixed.
Anyway, since you've arrived, Dad's lied to Mum several times over,
he's lied to me several times over
and no doubt will do it again several times over before you leave.
So, maybe Mum had a point.
Why won't you just fit? Why won't you work?!
-I can't understand this! I can't make sense of it!
Don't worry. Help is at hand.
Shirl, I used to run one of these vans in Southend back in the day.
We can make it work. Together.
Maybe the kid's got a point. Hell, he has got a point.
Maybe I have my faults, but I always wanted to be a great uncle.
And I didn't want to lose my brother.
-You want to call it? Or shall I?
-Your coin, your call.
Can someone please explain what's going on here?
This is my lucky Sholay coin.
Don't tell me you've not seen Sholay!
-We never got round to it.
-Brother, I'm disappointed!
Anyway. Heads I go.
Tails I stay and we catch up properly.
Sorry, are you actually suggesting basing such an important decision on the toss of a coin?
-No. It's fate.
Heads it is.
You lost something?
I don't know.
Run, Kim! Go, go!
KIM CONTINUES SCREAMING
I haven't even asked. How's Manchester? Aliyah?
Fine. Great. You know how it is...
How's everything been here? It's been three years.
How's Syed, Shabs...?
Fine. Great. You know how it is.
Tamwar's a good kid.
-A lot of his mum in him.
Oi! Don't say that.
Oh, come on! The gods are mocking us!
There's only one God, AJ.
Fine. The God is mocking us. You thinking what I'm thinking?
-Don't worry mate. Let me get back to you.
-Alfie, listen. I can explain...
-Don't worry. She already has, OK.
What on earth possessed you to let her take it to school, eh?
The kid got into trouble. You know the rules, all right?
-Sorry. Won't happen again.
-Come on, young lady. Homework. Let's go.
Hardly original, is it?
Jay's the brains of the outfit.
We just wanted to help ya. Not that you need any...
No, thanks to Andrew here. He's got experience in the business.
He had some good news today.
He's officially no longer a suspect.
So now the filth can concentrate on the scum that did do it.
-See ya later.
It looks good.
Thanks to you. Heck of a mess, weren't it?
I find cleaning quite satisfying, really. Good spring clean helps...
clear out clutter. Makes you feel lighter.
You're as mad as a box of frogs, you, ain't ya?
Where's my shopping trolley?
THEY SHOUT AND SING
I'm the king of the world!
Come on. Your bag!
THEY CONTINUE SINGING
Don't call me on this phone again. Ever. You got it?
In fact, don't call me at all. I'm done. This is done.
I didn't mean that, you know. I didn't mean to shoot you.
Let's hear it for the birthday girl! Yay!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything. I didn't know.
Seems like we're finding more out about each other all the time.
-Actually, you did get her something...
You know, I did, you know... My mind's going. I forgot.
A forensic torch!
This'll be perfect for when I start my work experience.
Is there a problem?
There might be.
I thought this was all sorted.
So did I.
Did your friend pull out?
He pulled out, you know. Something came up. Nothing I could...
But it's supposed to be happening in the next couple of weeks!
He can't just leave Sasha hanging like that.
What's his name? I'll have a word - I'll tell him how important it is.
He has got a name, hasn't he?
So what is it?
All right, look, the truth is, yeah, there's no mate.
And I only lied because I wanted to make Sasha happy. And Sasha, I'm really sorry.
I'm really trying, Sasha... Sasha!
-No, you've done enough damage, don't you think?
-But let me explain to her!
-Explain what? That you lied to a 14-year-old girl. That you got her hopes up.
-I didn't lie...
She's been telling everyone about this at school for weeks.
Do you have any idea how humiliating this'll be for her?
What's wrong with you, Kim, man? Don't you get it?
I'm starting to think you never will.
HE SUCKS TEETH
But Ray, can I just explain?
SHE SIGHS AND SUCKS TEETH
We are in so much trouble...
You don't know whose car that is.
Why, why, why does this always happen?
Yeah, but it was fun, wasn't it?
Yeah. I've missed that.
You know, it makes me wonder what happened.
Three years, Mas. Not one call returned.
You know, it's not a one way street, Amjad.
-You've done your own disappearing.
-I wouldn't disown you!
Disowned? Where'd you get that idea?
He said... He said Zainab convinced you...
-Inzamam?! Why, why? He's a liar!
-Why would you believe anything he says?
-Because it sounds like it makes sense.
Because it's been three years.
Because it sounds like something Zainab the Pure would do...
Oi! That's my wife you're talking about!
I've missed you, Bruv. So much it hurts.
Yeah. I missed you too.
It's like Women In Love, only weirder.
LOUD KNOCKING AT DOOR
Open up! Come on!
You wait here.
There has been an incident.
Someone has knocked the wing mirror off my car.
Would you know anything about that?
Yes! Two Asian-looking men ran from the scene but...
If he speaks again, you'll both regret it.
Now Masood, me and you - we've never had a problem, have we?
And as far as I know, you're a very good man.
So therefore, sort it by tomorrow evening and all of this will be forgotten.
Yes, Derek. OK. Of course.
Or else you'll give us a good talking to...?
< VACUUM CLEANER
SHIRLEY: # Somehow I made it through the heartache
# Yes, I did
# I escaped
# Made my way out of the darkness... #
-# Kept my faith... #
-HE TURNS VACUUM OFF
-It's 7.30. You'll wake Amy up.
She's already up. She's gone out with Roxy.
I've got to do some spring cleaning, get rid of some of this clutter.
Oh, it stinks in here. Look at it, it's disgusting.
Organised chaos, innit?
Yeah, just cos Roxy got out of it don't mean to say that you can.
Either love it, use it or chuck it.
What you laughing at?
-Hiya, I got a package for you.
Yeah, hang on.
Mas. It's not that bad. I could fix it.
I think you've done enough damage as it is!
Hello? I am a mechanic.
Yeah, but you are gonna need a new mirror.
It's a classic car. It needs to be done properly.
-Look at me.
Sorry. You know, I think he let you off lightly.
-I'm not scared of Derek Branning.
-Oi. You should be.
You all right?
Ah yes, I need you to sign for this. Oh. And this.
Not one of mine. Sign there.
-There you go.
Kat? Kat, you all right sweetheart?
We come down, I got him some orange juice.
I know you've been up half the night, ain't ya?
Yeah, he kept waking. I think his back teeth are coming through.
Yeah. Listen, why don't you take the rest of the day off, eh?
No, it's all right. Wanna be with you.
Wow. Did you hear that, Tommy? C'mon then.
Oh, look, we got a parcel as well, you wanna carry that for me?
C'mon then. Say "C'mon, Mummy."
Ray! Ray! Look, please, look. Please don't go, yeah.
I'm sorry, it was stupid. I was stupid.
Number one rule, Kim. No lies. Especially not to Sasha.
Phil's renting me the flat above Jack's place.
I'll grab the rest of my stuff later.
Kim, Kim. What's going on? The guests all heard you arguing!
Sasha's work experience, innit?
Well, why did you have to lie?
Why d'you think? Look.
You know what? I'll sort it. Yeah. I'll find her something.
Like living with Kim and Aggie, innit?
Do you think Shirl will ever be normal again?
I don't know, mate.
Double or quits. Heads you pay, tails I pay.
Mum, I'm fine. Dad's fine.
Kamil's fine. We're all fine.
-Where is she again?
What tone of voice?
-No, nothing wrong. Yep. OK, bye.
-See you tomorrow. OK, bye.
HE LAUGHS I'm starving!
-She nearly heard him!
OK. He has to go. Today.
Because if Mum comes back tomorrow and finds him here, she'll kill him.
And then you. And then me.
If Derek Branning hasn't done it already.
AJ, we agreed, loser covers all costs, right?
Agreed. Heads you lose?
Won't be a problem, will it?
Course it won't.
Couldn't lend me 20 quid, could you, just for a couple of hours?
I don't even know what that is.
Right, well I'm going to work then.
Is that all you're chucking?
-Love or use the rest, don't I?
-I've got to get to the burger van.
Oi. Don't pay you to work part time, you know that!
-Yeah, I know, I was erm...
-He's helping me. Spring clean.
Well, you can help me spring clean. The both of you.
Listen, when you getting rid of that stock car?
Well, I haven't raced it yet.
C'mon, Ben, you know that's never gonna happen, is it.
-Only need a bit of practice.
-Give 'im a break, Phil.
Get rid of it, will ya. Today. Get whatever you can.
Knowing your luck, you'll probably only get a fiver.
Only me! Still OK for me to have the day off?
Yeah, Nan's got Tommy. She's taken him to the dogs.
He'll learn some interesting words when she loses.
Tamwar! Couldn't lend us 20 quid, could you?
20 quid? Is that so you go now and never come back?
-Well, then no. Listen, Mum's gonna be back home tomorrow.
You can't be here when she comes back. Please.
You worry too much. It's very bad.
You should relax.
Syed? Little Syed? It's me. Your Uncle AJ.
Last time I saw you you were this high, look at you now, huh?
All handsome and wavy hair! How are you?
Your father's told me nothing.
Yeah. Good. I got a daughter and I live with...
Well, next door to Dad.
Yeah, your mum, she must love that!
Yeah. What happened to your...?
You wanna get some ice on that.
Will you excuse us please, gentlemen.
Now, I am a very patient man.
I waited for you to knock on my door all morning.
I want my car fixed.
HE BURSTS OUT LAUGHING
It's really nice that you can still physically do that...
Now, I'm a fair man.
You have got till 4.00 to sort it.
Do we understand each other?
Oo-oo! We made such a good team yesterday,
I thought I'd join you again today!
Well, you really don't have to.
Oh, I want to!
You know, you really shouldn't do that in here.
Fire, and health and safety.
There. It's going to be such fun!
-Only needed a bit of practice.
-Only a bit?
Yeah, just get the hang of it.
Listen, if you went on a race track, you'd be dead.
And so would half the other drivers.
Why have you got to be like that, Jay?
You and Dad, you're both the same, ain't ya?
I ain't that bad!
Look. Listen, soppy.
Maybe it's not such a bad thing us getting rid of this car.
Ain't done us any good, has it? Think about that for five minutes.
There's a number of times I've tried to impress Dad.
It's just embarrassing now.
Just wanted one more go at it, that's all.
Tell you what, mate, why don't we just call it a straight two quid.
-Is that all right?
All right, mate, it's Alfie Moon.
Amjad Jahangir Ahmed.
-Bit of a mouthful. Call me AJ.
-All right, AJ.
-I've got a proposition for you.
If I make these matches disappear, how about you give me a free drink?
Yeah, go on then.
THE MATCHES RATTLE
Just checking. Forgot myself then.
So where are they, the matches?
Oh, well, let's see. There.
THE BOX IS SILENT
Well done. Good stuff.
Pint of lager please, Alfie.
-I've gotta sort it out, Kat.
-What, for Sasha?
No, for Ray. If I want to keep my Raymondo,
I've gotta get that girl two weeks work experience!
You've really got it bad, ain't ya?
It's Sasha too, you know. I like her.
I'm not being funny or anything, but, she's not like a normal girl.
I mean, blood and gore, that's all she's interested in. I dunno what I'm gonna do, you know.
Hello, darlin', you all right?
Mrs Moon. I'm here later as a guest.
Just wanted to check... The mix up. About your cousin. Very awkward.
-Yeah, course, I've forgotten all about it.
Good, good. Many thanks. I'll see you at 3.00.
Yeah, I'll see you later.
-Here, ain't that that funeral bloke?
-What's he doing here?
Some old bloke from the market, it's his wake.
-What? At the Vic?
-Where else, you dozy mare?
How about I give you a second chance? Make it more interesting.
Tenner says you can't find the matches.
Go on then, AJ. Tenner it is.
So where are they? The matches?
Where are the matches, let me think. C'mon, I need to concentrate, all right.
The matches are there. There you go, AJ.
Never try and kid a kidder, all right, buddy. Thank you.
-Ah, well. You're good.
You ever heard of a bloke called Derek Branning?
AJ, listen. Do yourself a favour, all right, buddy.
Never ever try and scam Derek Branning. Never. Excuse me.
Yes, mate, what can I get you?
I could do this every day, you know.
Working in the fresh air.
Well, I'd hardly call it fresh.
We could be permanent. You and me.
We'd be like the Hairy Bikers!
Only not so hairy. And certainly not on bikes!
Yeah, well, don't get carried away, it's only been two days.
Course. It's just the right thing for you, this. Keeping you busy.
This time of life, it's not easy.
I just want you to know that I'll be with you every step of the way.
Now. I've had some ideas about some themed recipes...
It's Tuesday, innit? I got to be somewhere.
Oh. Well, I'll look after the...
Andrew? I've got a proposition for you.
How much you asking for it?
450 or 400 in cash.
How she run? Last one I got didn't make it out the garage.
Well, this is an absolute legend, my friend, and it runs like a dream.
-Yeah? I ain't never heard of it.
-Well, come see for yourself, we're taking it out later.
Course you ain't the only bloke who's interested.
Got a fella coming down this evening.
Call me. Let me see it in action.
I will do. Thank you.
What d'you say that for?
What? Well, he wants to see it run and you want another go, didn't ya?
Yeah, why not?
Hello, it's Jay.
Yeah, you got the recovery truck free?
Can I help you?
Was wondering if you had any...
Sticky toffee pudding?
Well, I'll just check out back for you.
This ain't a library y'know, dear!
Hey! You! Stop!
What? What's going...?
She grabbed them soon as you went.
I knew it! She had a dodgy look in her eye.
-Oh, thank you.
-Happy to help.
-Hey. Come in here. C'mon.
I want you to take this.
-It's a thank you. A reward.
I respect that. Getting involved.
There's not many people gonna do that.
Too scared what's going to happen to them.
What kind of world would we live in if everyone was like that, eh?
Exactly. I'm very lucky to have CCTV.
It was me.
HE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY
I'm sorry. I wanted to talk to you.
Why else would a beautiful woman talk to a man with one of these, eh?
An' I got this fella threatening me. It's making my head go funny...
Totally out of my league. Three leagues ahead.
So...who is this fella then?
Local bloke. Derek Branning?
-You sold it?
-We found a bloke who's interested.
He wants to see it in action.
Oh, what, and you thought you'd show him?
Phil know about this?
Good, cos he'd kill ya.
You got room for one more?
-I ain't half missed this, ain't you?
Hey. What're you doing here? You're not invited.
Look, I'm here for Sasha, innit.
-You see him?
Know who he is? Work experience.
Kim, you can't. If Ray finds you here, you know he's gonna...
I'm doing it for Ray! And Sasha! Obviously!
Listen, Ray is the best thing that ever happened to me.
I gotta sort this out.
Ray, I'll take that.
-You sure, mate? I can...
-Yeah. I got it, I got it.
Listen, you couldn't cover for ten minutes, could ya?
Just, I got to get to the market.
No problem at all, man, you take as long as you want. OK?
I miss Walt so much.
Never been the same round here without him.
You remember him? I'm surprised you were even born when he left.
Was his biggest regret, leaving Walford.
I wonder if I could have a word with you about a young lady, I know.
She's got an interest in your profession.
Look, I'm sorry, but I've met your uncle...
Yeah! We met! Me and Christian. Your l...
I can't say it.
I can't say the word, Syed. Your...
Look. Uncle AJ. I'm not going to apologise for it.
I should have told you. I'm gay.
Gotcha! I thought I was the bad Muslim!
What about your mum? She must have gone mental!
Until she realised what a gorgeous couple you both are.
Any chance you can lend me 200 quid. Just for today?
Ben. C'mon. You both got to have a go.
You go first.
I don't mind. It don't matter.
Course it does! This could be your last chance to drive it,
the pair of you. C'mon, after three.
-THE ENGINE REVS
Pretty good at this, ain't he?
I reckon you ain't gonna do too bad either.
I promise Sasha won't let you down.
It's a good thing that we met, isn't it?
It's like Alfred, I mean Walt, brought us together.
No doubt he did! You send Sasha to me.
It'll be a pleasure.
Thank you very much. I will be in touch.
I didn't know you knew the guy.
I didn't. I just did what I had to do.
Work experience is sorted! She's doing it with him.
Hold on. So...you gatecrashed a wake?
Is everything a joke to you?
No. Actually. I took this very seriously.
-I thought you'd be pleased!
-Well let's ask Sasha what she thinks. Sasha!
Two weeks work experience with the busiest undertaker in East London?
No way! Awesome! That would be amazing!
You can thank me an' Mr Coker!
Thank you, Kim!
That's all right, my love. I knew you would like it.
High five. Yeah. What you having? Orange juice?
Alfie. Shenice's at Bobby's. Did you wanna slip off for an hour?
Just you and me.
Yeah! Lovely. Yeah. C'mon.
What was my time?
Better than his.
Go on, how rubbish was I then?
Mate, you absolutely smashed it.
What? I beat you?
You're the winner.
Well done, champ.
400 we said, right?
420 and we got a deal.
You done a good job. Shame about that business yesterday.
If you hadn't taken the Michael I might've quite liked you.
Bit late for that though, ain't it? Hmm.
Alfie? Tracey said she'll be fine for an hour.
All right, sweetheart, Shenice had a bit of a fall out with Bobby
so, I said we'd watch a film together.
Yes, that's right, don't do that to me.
Don't you do that to me. Ohhh!
Hello, Mummy. Hello, Mummy.
Kisses. Where's my kisses?
You and me. Are we...
Look, I know I can be a bit... You know.
But that's just me though, innit? And you? You're...
I don't wanna mess things up, that's all I'm saying.
You are something else, you know that, Kimberley Fox?
And is that a good thing?
But you know you got some serious making up to do tomorrow.
SHE GIGGLES AND PURRS
So it's all fine then?
Yep, yep. Well... Car's sorted so.
I've been terrified all day. I mean.
Zainab's not back until tomorrow. Why don't I stay?
We can celebrate? Heads I go.
Tails I stay, we party!
I don't need to toss a coin to answer that.
Hey, your uncle's staying another night!
No! No that's not really a good idea, is it?
We need pizza. This is a lads' night. Nobody goes in the kitchen!
Oh, and call Syed, my favourite oldest nephew
and Christian, of course!
You having a glass?
Tamwar, my favourite middle nephew?
Such a good Muslim! Ah well, more for me!
Yeah, thick crust.
You know, where you put the cheese on the outside.
What's that? What's that? Look. Funny.
That's a funny man on the telly.
Where you going? Get up here.
Aww, it's your favourite programme, look!
-Aw, this is my favourite bit.
-Kat, hurry up, love, you're missing it.
Yeah, I'll be there in a minute.
Sold the stock car.
Yeah? How much you get? Tenner?
Ben sold it to a bloke all by himself, didn't you, mate?
I tell you what. 200 quid each.
Thanks a lot. I'm gonna go and put mine somewhere safe.
Yeah, yeah. Put mine in my tin.
You done well, son.
I sold the burger van an' all. To Andrew.
He seems to like it. Jean, she was getting on my wick.
How much you get?
SONG: "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen
-I'm supposed to be at work now.
Well, go. We'll keep an eye on them.
Why have I never met this guy before?
What the hell is going on in here? Tamwar?
Now it makes sense.
RADIO: 'There's piles of texts coming in,
'about ten messages in fact from Kim in Walford,
'so I think we should read one out...'
You don't mind if I go to one of Kim's classes tonight, do you?
And leave me here to manage on my own, me and Tommy fending for ourselves?
I don't have to go, you know.
No, I'm winding you up, you go and get sweaty.
As long as you come back here and bust some of your moves for me.
All right, sweetheart?
Listen, all hands on deck
while Mrs Moon goes and shakes her booty at Kimba.
Oh, didn't Kim tell you? Class has been cancelled.
-Not enough members, apparently.
I heard you pacing about last night.
Yeah, I couldn't sleep.
Oh, if it isn't our own little Jenson Button.
You and Jay decided how you're going to spend the money yet?
I'm going to let Jay decide.
How about going to a festival or a nice little camping trip?
What do you reckon, Jay?
I'm late for work.
Haven't you forgotten something?
Hi. How are you? A present from Tyler and Anthony.
I lacked the heart to tell them she can't read yet.
I don't know. Maybe some cards or flowers...
Somebody must have asked after us.
Scarlett, yeah. But for us - why would they?
I spoke to the nurse and she said that you could
really use a trip out, you know, a bit of fresh air.
I can't. I'm fine here.
What if she needs me?
Scarlett needs her mother to be rested and healthy.
See? Hannah knows.
-What will you do?
-I'll stay here. Keep watch.
So nice of you to put some clothes on.
I took the liberty of packing your bag for you.
You didn't have to do that.
Believe me, I did.
What was that?
We wouldn't want to delay you on your journey any longer than is necessary.
How come there aren't any photos of your wedding here?
So you didn't look your best, Zainab -
it was the '80s, we all looked a state.
Enjoyable as this is, I should be out finishing my round.
He never stops, this brother of mine. Come here.
OK, well don't, leave it so long next time, you hear?
AJ's a busy man. I'm sure we're at the bottom of his list of things to do.
Come to think of it, my train doesn't leave until this afternoon.
-Why don't I treat you both to lunch in the Vic?
-We'd love to.
Yeah, wouldn't we, Zainab?
The week before Ramadan, you want to go to a public house?
Oh, the Imam would be so proud.
-I don't think so.
I've been thinking about an evening class over at the community centre.
Oh, yeah? What's brought this on, then?
I just fancy a change. A hobby, maybe.
I don't know. Pottery? Or Italian... I haven't thought about it yet.
You're winding me up, right?
Why do you say that?
Oh, Kat, sweetheart, think about it, darling.
When God was handing out brains,
you were standing at the back at the queue, asking for a spray tan.
-Well, I think it's a great idea.
-Thank you, Jean. At least someone's supportive.
-You know, I think I might join you.
Well, I really enjoyed working with Shirley on the burger van,
-but it turns out my services are no longer required.
-What about that, eh? Study partner!
That's a stroke of luck. Genius!
-Tommy needs changing.
-I'll go and get us a brochure, shall I?
Jean, I've been thinking, sweetheart, what do you reckon
about putting up a trophy cabinet behind the bar?
Aren't you getting ahead of yourself?
-You haven't won a match yet.
-It's only a matter of time. The lads are playing really well.
They're going to put the Queen Vic back on the map.
How are we doing?
Short of sticking Mo up a chimney, you mean?
-It's all my fault.
-Jean, stop, sweetheart, look at me.
I don't want to hear no more of that, OK?
Give me a smile. Good girl.
We'll bounce back like we always do, all right?
All right? What's the van doing here?
Shirley asked me to give it the once over for Andrew.
Well, I've been thinking how to spend our money,
so what do you reckon to a brand new sound system for our room?
Two-way-speakers, built-in amplifier...
I bet he's really relieved now he's off the hook.
Yeah, I suppose. We're looking at about 400 quid, though,
so I thought maybe if we, you know, split it down the middle...
Who do you reckon the Old Bill are going to want to tap up next?
Why are you asking all this?
I was just thinking. You know, cos they've got no leads,
so they're going to want to try and find that picture frame, ain't they?
Good job you dumped it in the canal, weren't it?
Yeah, what else am I going to do with it, eh?
Well, it's got your prints on it.
I wonder what would have happened if they'd have found that?
That won't happen.
You took care of it, didn't you, son?
I just said I did.
Right, so what the hell is it doing stuffed under your mattress, then?
So I'll give you a call when it's ready, mate, all right?
-I can explain.
-I don't want an explanation.
-I meant to throw it away.
-So why didn't you?
I'll tell you why, cos you ain't right up there, that's why.
-Don't say things like that, Jay.
-Hev's blood was all over that frame.
And you've hid it under your mattress like something to be proud of.
I can't live like this, Ben, all right? I ain't eating.
-I ain't sleeping.
-Just give it a few months, all right,
-and I promise you, it's going to get easier.
-Like it has for you, you mean?
-I loved Heather.
-You killed her!
-You was there, you could have stopped me.
-I tried to!
You obviously didn't try hard enough.
We just - just got to look out for each other.
Look out for each other?
-I can't even stand to look at you.
-You don't mean that.
I warned you, didn't I?
I said any more stunts and that's us, we're finished.
That's it now, innit? No more surprises.
Well, you kept my hoodie. What else have you got stashed away?
I mean it, that is it, all right? This ends today.
Yeah, you said it, son.
Jay, what are you doing?
Something I should have done months ago.
No, we're Mitchells. We don't grass.
I'm Jay Brown. I ain't one of you lot.
-Not now, Shirl.
-No, you keep an eye on Amy for me, will you?
-I've got to run.
I'll be five minutes, I've got to sign for a delivery at the club.
I'll need to take an early lunch.
Meeting someone special?
The bane of my life, that's who.
Someone who has caused me nothing but misery and despair.
You might want to narrow that down.
You ready for our lunch date?
Is anybody here serving?
Oh, sorry. How's the little one?
Oh, yeah, she's much better, thank you.
That's a relief.
Give her a cuddle from us when you see her.
That's £1.80, please.
And I'm on the mend too. Thanks for asking.
I started to wonder whether word had got back to the Square,
-seeing as nobody bothered to come and see me.
-Why would we?
If it was one of your precious book club members, I'm sure you would...
-How is it different?
Well, you're not in book club.
Well, thank you, it's reassuring to know that I'm bringing my daughter back
to such a caring community.
Oh, has the kettle just boiled?
We was only taking five minutes.
Employment law clearly states
that we are entitled to 20 minutes' rest break.
You can take as long as you like.
In fact, I've got a little something for you both here.
What is it, then? Our P45s?
No, it's just an extra twenty on top of your wages.
To say thank you for all your hard work.
Can I ask you both a question?
Generally, do you think I'm a good boss?
Is that a trick question?
I know that I'm not the easiest person to get along with...
You said it.
..But I don't set out to make things difficult, do I?
Can we go now?
CAR HORN BEEPS
ENGINE REVS LOUDLY
Come on, then. Put your foot down. Let's end this here and now.
Are you scared?
Come on, then, show us what you've got, big man.
Come on, then!
Phil was right about you. You're a joke.
Why are you doing this?
Four months ago, right, I had everything, I did. I was happy.
I had a bloke who did more for me than my old man ever did.
I had a girlfriend. Ben, I had a future.
And you - you took that away from me!
-Yeah, and I'm sorry about that.
-Yesterday, when were driving that car,
I felt like I had my brother back, know what I mean? Then I find this
and I'm back to that night, back to looking at somebody I don't know.
-I just want things to go back to how they were.
-Well, they can't.
Please, Jay. I can't do it without you. You're all I've got.
And I can't feel like this any more. It's driving me mad.
I'll turn myself in, then.
As long as I know I've got you on my side, then I can do it.
I know I can do it, Jay. Please.
Please just give me this last chance to put things right.
Take the frame.
Never trust a Mitchell.
Now, how about "embellish your lampshade"?
-What can I get you?
-Two St Clements, please.
-Ooh, you're pushing the boat out.
-Make mine a pint.
-Carpentry for beginners?
Don't usually see you in here this early.
Oh, well, today's an exception to the rule, believe me.
Get to grips with your garden - now, that sounds like it could be fun.
I'll bring them over. We don't have a garden, Jean.
How's Aliyah doing?
Yeah, still ruling the roost.
It's a shame she couldn't make it.
Well, it's difficult for her, you know, ever since...
1990. What was it you called her again?
-I don't remember.
-It certainly wasn't the kind of language I'd expect from a lady.
-You know what? She provoked me.
-Ah, I remember what it was now...
Here you go. Just to let you know, the kitchen's now open. All right?
I'm glad you two are together.
Still no children?
What? I'm just asking.
Unfortunately, we're still not blessed in that department.
Such a tragedy. I can't imagine life without my four.
I've missed out on so much.
Yeah, Shabnam's mood swings. Syed's tantrums.
The three years Tamwar was locked up in his room... Believe me.
-You're better off out of it.
-Yeah, but you know,
in the middle of it all, there's you two.
Strong as ever.
Move out of my way, mate.
Oi, Jay! Jay, you'll never guess what.
Janine's only gone and given me a bonus.
So what do you say we go down Stratford
before she changes her mind?
Jay? Jay, I'm talking to you.
Get off me, Lola.
What's your problem, eh? Jay? I'm talking to you.
Get off me!
You scared me.
Amy, give me the picture back. Yeah, come on.
This isn't a game.
What are you two whispering about?
-Just a game, that's all.
-Have you and Jay thought about how you're going to spend the money?
Well, we've had a bit of a bust-up.
-You never really know with him, do you?
-How do you mean?
-Forget I said anything.
-No, what are you trying to say, Ben?
He's just lost his temper a few times, that's all.
-That don't sound like Jay.
-Yeah, well, you've never seen him get angry.
What, has he hit you or something?
I probably deserved it. Just sometimes...
He scares me, Shirl, all right?
When I look at him, it's like I don't know him any more.
I'll have a word with him.
No! You can't... I mean, he won't listen to anybody.
Come on, Ben. You're a good friend to him.
Yeah, I know, we're brothers though, aren't we?
So we've just got to stick together.
(I need the photo back. Please.)
What's gotten into you, eh?
I've got a good mind to call the Old Bill on you, cos that's assault.
You want to watch who you're pushing around,
cos if my pops was here, well... Jay!
-What about sugarcraft?
Winter flowers and foliage. Royal icing...
You even get to make little sugar people.
Actually, that's quite creepy, isn't it? Well, the only other thing is...
Tantalising Thai Tasters.
Jean, will you stop banging on about it?
Sorry. I've just got a headache.
You don't want to do this course with me, do you?
I didn't say that.
-No, you didn't have to.
-I'll just get on with my recycling.
-What was all that about?
-Alfie, could we settle the bill, please?
You took my advice, then.
I understand you got into a bit of a run-in with Derek Branning.
Two minutes! Two minutes you've been here,
and you've fallen out with that slug.
-I rest my case.
-Right, here it is. £22.60. That includes food.
I've only gone and left my cash in my other jacket.
Well, I don't have any.
I'm sorry, gentlemen, you leave me no other option
but to call the village constable.
Zee, one hour, you said.
You know we've got stock check this afternoon.
Good. Pay the man, Denise.
Yeah, £22.60, please, sweetheart.
One of life's charmers, isn't she? There you go.
-It's you again.
How come I didn't see that before?
-Have you two already met?
I nearly had him arrested yesterday.
Until she fell for my considerable charms.
Didn't waste any time, did you?
-First sniff of a married man, and you're all over him.
I think you will find that it was him that tried it on with me.
Denise, may I introduce my brother, AJ.
-What was that thing you mentioned about stocktaking?
-Yes, go ahead.
I think I'll stay here, keep AJ company.
-No, he has a train to catch.
-I ain't in any rush.
AJ's a big boy. He can find his way home.
You're only staying to wind her up, aren't you up?
You're damn right, I am. So where was home for you?
This place is as good as any. Drink?
-Michael, why have you left her?
-No, why have you left her?
-Hannah and Rob are doing the lunchtime shift.
-Just be cool. What's that?
-Oh, it's a cheque for Jean Slater.
£50,000, are you mad? That's double what we owe her.
Yes. I don't care, all right? I just want rid of her.
-Do you know what she said to me on our wedding day?
She said that my baby would never be loved.
-Oh, she's mad and old and gibbers a lot.
-Yeah, well, I don't care
what you think. I just - I want shot of her.
You think you can buy everybody out?
It's going to cost more than 50 grand, darling.
It's a start, and I really don't want to bring Scarlett home
to a place where everybody hates us.
What are you doing?
We pay her what we owe her. Nothing more, nothing less.
What are you going to say to her?
It's my debt. I'll sort it.
Here it is.
This is the song I want playing at my funeral.
MUSIC: "Mama Do The Hump" by Rizzle Kicks
OK, so come on, what's old misery chops like as a sister-in-law, then?
That woman! You know, she makes Stalin look like Teddy Ruxpin.
And how comes your wife's not here?
You'll have to ask her that.
Oh, sorry. Problems at home.
She doesn't understand you and...
Oh, I'm sorry.
I don't know why I feel like I've heard it all before.
She left me two weeks ago.
Oh, did you tell Mas?
And have Zainab crowing from the roof?
-I think I'll give that one a miss.
-What right has she got to lecture you about marriage?
Mas and Zainab are rock solid. They always have been.
Sorry, is that what she told you?
Mate, they're not even married!
She's got hitched to the local doctor. And as for Mas...
He bunked up with my mate from the caff across the street.
You're winding me up. Mas!?
Yes! Yes, I swear to you.
They've had more bust-ups than Burton and Taylor.
Jean, look, I've got felt-tip pens here and some of Tommy's stickers.
There's no need to humour me, Kat.
Maybe Alfie's right. I should stick to what I'm good at.
Pouring pints and cracking dirty jokes.
How about a girls' night, yeah?
Face packs. I might even have a go at Nan's moustache.
It's not important.
-Do you want me to serve him?
Through the worst, hopefully. I've got something for you.
-Janine threw in an extra grand there, you know.
Just to show there's no hard feelings.
Do something for me? Just throw her a smile or something.
-Oh, I don't know about that.
-Go on, just show you're the better person.
-Shall we go?
Why are you making it so difficult, Jay?
I mean, I'm trying to look after you,
but you ain't making this easy for me.
Cos I don't need you to look after me, that's why.
So what happens when the police find out
you've been stashing that picture frame underneath your bed, eh?
I mean, cos it won't be long till they start piecing it all together.
And why would I want to kill Heather?
You've only got to look at your old man
to see that you're a wrong 'un, Jay.
Everybody knows Jase was a thug.
Why would his son be any different?
You wouldn't do that.
I'll do whatever it takes. You should know that better than anyone.
I'll look after you, Jay. But you gotta start trusting me.
What about the photo frame?
It's back at the house.
Look, we'll dump it tonight, all right?
No more stunts. We'll finish this here and now.
Are you with me?
It's gone. It was there. I left it there.
I swear to you.
You're doing it again, ain't you?
I'm being serious.
I put it in the bag and left it in that corner.
Right, so where is it now, then?
I don't know. Someone must have taken it.
Can I have a doughnut and a strawberry milkshake, please?
I hope that's not Zainab's call you're cancelling.
It's my little afternoon treat. What about your train?
I missed it.
-What time's the next one?
-There isn't one.
Well, I'll call them up.
Where are you going?
She's gone, Mas.
She left me.
Why didn't you say anything? You've been here three days.
Didn't seem like the right time.
If we can't be honest with each other, what's the point?
OK, come on, let's go.
What about Zainab?
You leave her to me.
Can you cancel the doughnut and the strawberry milkshake?
How many more times you going to go through that dustbin?
-The frame ain't in there!
-At least I'm trying to do something.
-Freaking out won't help.
-We've got to work out what we're going to do.
-What we need to do is tell Phil.
-Is he giving you a hard time again?
-No, we're all right, aren't we, Jay?
-Gone to get a takeaway. He won't be long.
Look, Shirl... Where's all the rubbish?
In the rubbish bin where it usually is.
He didn't mean normal rubbish. He's after something else.
Why? What's wrong?
-Go on, Ben. Tell Shirley what we're looking for.
-I'm not asking you, Jay.
I've lost my spare hearing aid, that's all.
And why would it be in the rubbish?
I thought you might have chucked it out by mistake, when we were clearing out the other day.
Dad would do his nut if he finds out I've lost it.
It might have found its way to the loft. Phil said he was going to put stuff up there.
-I'll go and have a look.
-No, you're all right. We'll have a look.
Thank you very much for the Pinot Noir, darling.
That's all right. You're welcome.
You see, I thought we could start off with that
and then we could move on to christening the flat,
-if you get my drift.
-I do, babe. But I'm kind of busy tonight, darling.
Look, some of the lads from the team are coming round to talk tactics.
That's all right. I can do a bit of football talk.
You'd be bored out of your mind, babe.
All right then.
Sasha's going to be with her mum this weekend, yeah?
So I'm thinking that maybe...
we can have ourselves a little...
flat christening tomorrow instead.
OK. I suppose you're worth the wait.
-You know it.
-OK. Make sure you keep that on ice for me, yeah?
-See you later.
-See you, babe.
Well, I can handle Phil if he kicks off.
Look, I don't want to cause no trouble. We'll find it.
Here, Jay? Can you throw us another one down, please, mate?
Fish and chips do you?
What's all that banging upstairs?
Oh, I must have put something in one of them bags
that we were clearing out. The boys are having a look for me.
They won't find it up there. Jean came round on some recycling drive.
I gave everything to her.
I won't be long.
Grrr. I can't get the middle right.
Shush! You'll wake Kamil.
-Or someone's scared he'll be caught fraternising with the enemy.
-Your father's going to evening prayer.
-OK. Well, I'll get ready.
OK, baba. You play.
Maybe you'd like to join them?
-Um, I've got a bit of a headache.
Sure it's not a hangover?
From all those drinks at lunchtime with Denise?
If you will insist on staying longer, then you could at least follow our rules.
You know, regular prayers, no alcohol.
Zee, come on. You know AJ's not religious.
It's no surprise Aliyah's had it with you.
I mean, she may not have the highest of standards,
-but if this is how you behave in your own home...
-You told Zainab?
Of course he told me. We share everything.
Perhaps if you and Aliyah had done the same,
-you wouldn't be in this mess.
Let Zainab speak. I'd value her advice.
You've always had such a strong marriage.
Remind me, how many years has it been now?
years without a blip.
That's really quite something.
-And neither of you have ever been tempted to stray...
-Of course not!
-How dare you suggest such a thing!
-I'm sorry, forgive me. Maybe...
You've always had such a perfect, flawless relationship. No squabbles,
no affairs, no disharmony of any kind.
-It's really unusual in this day and age.
-Actually, it's not.
Not if you have good communication
-and mutual respect.
-And you keep a devout Muslim household
where you practice Islam to the letter.
Well, we try.
That's why it surprises me, you two sharing the same room
and, I imagine, the same bed, when you're no longer married.
Should have got beers in. I don't think Ray's that big a drinker.
Not usually, but he's only just moved into the flat.
Got to mark the occasion in a bit of style.
Throw him a party, that's what we've got to do.
Ray having a housewarming or something?
-Who told you that?
-Oh, no-one. It's just I assumed, the way...
-that they were going on.
-No, no. They're going to talk about footie
-Oh, that's all right then.
Well, I suppose if you wanted to know exactly what Ray's got planned
you could always just ask him.
You know, Dee, I checked my bothered pocket and it's empty.
-OK, whatever you say.
-I thought you'd have learnt by now that honesty...
always the best policy.
"Oh, Kim, I love the colour of the B&B!
"I would never repaint it the colour of boring while you're away."
-I never said I loved it.
-But you said it was all right.
-But you agreed to change it.
-Not to that!
-It looked hideous.
-That's Denise for you.
Only happy to tell the truth when it suits her
or concerns somebody else. Isn't that right, Denise?
You want to go through the recycling?
I'm in the middle of sorting it. I've got a system.
Yeah, well, it's just our stuff.
There's something I need back.
Oh, come on, Jean. We're meant to be mates.
Can you be quick?
Cheers, darling. You all right to hold the fort? I've got to pop to Rays.
-Apparently, half the team have cried off.
-Yeah, yeah. It's fine.
Seriously. I'm not up for getting wasted, mate. I want to go to the gym tomorrow.
Unbelievable. One hat-trick he thinks he's Pele.
Listen, you want to relax. Even he had the odd session here or there.
-Yeah, so did Gazza and look at him now.
-You ain't Gazza, are you?
-Don't worry about the gym, mate.
-I don't think the manager would agree. Hey, Alf?
One night'll be all right.
So, is there going to be any hot women there?
Nah, mate. Sorry. Lads only, yeah? Besides, mate,
-I ain't even on the market and neither's Max or Alfie.
Just cos I've got a Porsche indoors, doesn't mean I can't look at a Ferrari.
Just cos you lot have settled down, don't mean we all have to suffer.
-Here, what's going on?
She's well clear of the place tonight.
While the girl's away, the boys will play!
No wonder you didn't want me cramping your style!
You don't have to leave.
Zainab will be OK.
-Yeah? You reckon?
She'll be exhausted after a good row with Denise.
She won't have any energy left for you.
What did she say to you exactly?
Er, a few things.
Including that Zainab wasn't the only one who strayed.
What was this Jane like, then? Is she still around?
She's moved on.
We all have.
And Zainab got back with Yusef. I still can't believe it.
How did you deal with that?
-Didn't she tell you?
-She said I should ask you about that.
-It's a long story.
Three years is a long time to catch up on, Mas.
I'm sure plenty more's happened besides all this.
Syed marrying a girl, fathering a child
and then becoming a friend to Dorothy's not a big deal, then?
It wouldn't take a genius to work it out.
What surprises me is that you didn't tell me.
-Syed, your marriage breakdown...
Is that why you've been keeping me at arm's length?
What did you want me to say, hey?
AJ, by the way, my marriage has collapsed
and one of my sons has moved in with the Muscle Mary from next door?
It's more interesting than,
"Weather's been really nice recently."
I don't know why I didn't tell you, right.
And you were very forthcoming about your problems when you got here.
Not so different after all, are we? No matter what Zainab thinks.
Although I've sorted my marriage out.
You could show a little remorse.
Would you rather that it came from someone like me
who has a sympathetic understanding of the situation,
or would you rather it had just come from any old gossip around here?
Oh, so you separate yourself from the other gossips, do you?
Look, AJ would have found out sooner or later.
I mean, surely you was going to invite him to the NEXT wedding?
That is, assuming you would actually ever get round to it.
When are you, by the way?
Mas and I will set a date when we feel we are ready.
I just think that you would feel a lot less stressed if you just,
you know, got on with it.
And I am available to be your matron of honour.
-Or whatever the Muslim version of that is called.
-You know what?
I shall be asking...
someone I trust.
Babe, listen. Me and the rest of them...
Look, we've got a different opinion of constitutes a boys' night.
-Ray been a bad boy, has he?
-How should I know?
I wasn't spinning you a line.
Look, I've only got eyes for one WAG, yeah?
And that's you.
Cos someone knows how to keep her bloke on the straight and narrow.
Kat, you know you're more than welcome to adopt the same approach.
Mwah! Come on, Raymundo. Let's go.
Come on, boys!
Ah, to be a young man again with all that stamina and energy.
Young? That lot?!
Teetering on the brink of a mid-life crisis more like.
They wouldn't know a good night out if it smacked 'em in the face.
And I suppose you do?
As it happens, I do.
I had something completely different planned.
You care to join me?
-He's steering clear of you.
Zee, ease up on him, please.
He's been through a hard enough time at home.
Us! Us is what's wrong.
All these lies for AJ. It shouldn't be like this.
But he knows we're divorced now. We can go back to how we were.
I don't want to.
No...I do want to.
But I want things to be how they were...
before that man.
I want us to be married again.
Yeah, well, so do I. I've only been waiting
because you wanted to.
Yeah, but it's not a question of wanting to or not.
It doesn't feel right, does it? Making arrangements for the Nikah
-with Tamwar still around, Afia just having left.
Don't you think he'd want us to be happy? Tam's not a selfish boy.
-If anything, he'd probably welcome the stability.
-You think so?
-I do too.
-See how naturally that rolls off the tongue?
So shall we make a date?
Since we're making it official...
-Masood! What if AJ comes back?
-Come on, I just want a cuddle.
-Masood, stop it!
All right. Well, we should tell AJ everything about Yusef.
It's better that he hears it from us than anyone else.
Do you really think Ray's going to behave himself with all them?
If he says it's going to be low key, it's going to be low key.
You've seen enough drunk blokes in here to know once they've had a few,
they egg each other on and all good intentions go out the window.
No, no, no. Not this time. Ray is on a very strict training regime.
He takes his health very seriously.
You'd better hope Jack doesn't invite any of his "friends" over.
But if you were there, it might stop him from playing up, hey?
Yeah, but I can't just turn up on his doorstep like that, uninvited.
Not on your own maybe. Oh, come on, Kim.
I'm gagging for a break from this place.
What d'you reckon, Rox?
I just told Christian I'd be back in an hour for Amy.
I can get him to watch her a little bit longer if you want.
Hey, Dee! What you doing tonight?
Can I help you?
-Kat. Shirley's upstairs.
Can you hold the fort? I've got to pop out for a bit.
We'll take a rain check on the face packs, yeah?
When you said something different,
it's not what I had in mind.
Didn't realise Coker's first delivery would be quite so big.
I like this.
You making yourself useful?
Cos at your age, that's an achievement.
Go on, make me feel even older.
with age comes wisdom.
When I think of some of the decisions I made as a young man...
the women and them...
-I got no regrets there.
-That's the difference
between you and me.
Only one man ever meant toffee to me.
Oh, I loved that woman, you know?
I've got to admit I do miss having company,
especially when the nights get cold.
I've never minded my own company.
That's the other thing with the young.
gassing on their phones.
It's like there's not a second
that's not filled with a distraction.
-I don't envy them that.
-Don't envy their dress sense either.
What is this? A hat...
or a tea cosy?
It's not so bad.
Didn't you hear me shouting?
Anyway, Jean took everything.
Dunno what all the fuss is about anyway.
Jean took all the rubbish?
Yeah. Shirley's over there now, going through everything.
-Why is everyone so obsessed about a load of rubbish all of a sudden?
-No, we're not.
-Just tell him, Ben, will you?
-Later. We've got to get to the Vic.
Tell me what?
Now, Ben. We ain't got a choice!
You know the photo frame...
that I used on Hev?
I didn't get rid of it.
It's been here the whole time. Well...
..at least, it was here.
All right, boys. Get those down you.
-No, I'm all right, thanks.
-I'm fine. Here you go, Jack.
You having a laugh?
-I'm trying to give them up.
-Come on, boys.
We're meant to be training, keeping ourselves in peak condition.
So, Raymundo, what exactly have you got planned for tonight then, mate?
Right. Match analysis. I was thinking we could do a few charts.
You know, discuss formations, what worked, what hasn't worked...
Your faces! Do you really think I'd bring you lot around here
to talk some boring team talk?
Come on, man. Step this way, gentlemen.
-You looked me in the eye and said it was in the canal. You told me it was gone.
I went down there with it, I swear. I was trying to build myself up to chuck it in.
-But there was something stopping me. Dad, I was scared.
-No, no, no.
Now is the time to be scared cos the minute Shirley finds it
she's going to hand it in to the old bill and you're going to go down for life.
And the way I feel right now, you deserve it and all.
-Where you going?
-Where do you think, eh?
Well, let me go, all right? Cos if you just charge in there,
-Shirley will get suss.
-You want me to trust you after this, eh?
I'll go with him.
And when we find it, I'll make sure he chucks it in the canal.
KNOCKS ON DOOR
We thought your little party could do with livening up a bit.
Where are you?
I found it,
my hearing aid. It was back in my room.
So I've been through all this lot for nothing?
The things I do for you boys.
You should get off home anyway cos Phil's been wondering where you are.
We'll tidy all this up.
Yeah, too right you will.
Why shouldn't we be in there?
Listen, babe. I really don't think this is your scene.
Yeah? Well, we'll see about that.
I can't believe what that man put you through. I wouldn't have made fun if I'd known.
Just because we've broken up, doesn't mean I'm going to let you bad mouth her. Well, not much anyway.
I really think that...
you should try to reconcile.
With the Aliyah that you detest?
She's not so bad.
So, we'll never be bosom buddies but...
I really think you should try to save your marriage.
You belong together.
That's what we thought about you and Zainab.
-We came back to each other.
-Yeah, and now we're stronger than ever.
Do you want her back?
She should be so lucky!
I'm serious. Be serious for once, AJ.
Maybe we don't have what you two have.
Oh, you do. But it takes work.
-Really hard work.
-Well, you know how I feel about hard work...
-plays havoc with my nails.
-You can't laugh this one off, AJ.
What if she doesn't want to know?
We'll be here. Won't we, Zee?
-Come on. Where is it, man?
-It's got to be in here.
What are you doing?! Where's Shirley?
Well, she had to go.
We'll tidy up when we're finished, Jean. I promise you.
No! No, I'm not having this.
-We've just got one more bag to do.
-No. You cannot treat this like some sort of rubbish tip.
This is our home. Now, will you please leave?
-If you'd just listen, Jean...
-I said, get out!
TV: That's what defenders do...
Come on, Rox. Free booze, dancing... It'll be fun.
I've seen livelier care homes.
Look, I can't help it if my man wants to save his energy
for something more important, like yours truly.
Well, I've had enough of this.
-Oi, come on!
-Come on you lot, let your hair down.
Well, those of you that have got it. Come on, have a laugh.
-You can restart training next week. Ain't that right, Alfie?
-Now you know why I married the girl!
-I'm going to get some sambuca.
-I'm putting some music on.
I'm going to open this then.
-I thought I told you I didn't want to do a big party.
-What's going on?
-Oh, I know. Sorry.
Still, if you can't beat 'em...
-I'm not so little any more.
You will find another girl. You trust your Uncle AJ, OK?
-Goodbye, my lovely nephew.
Let's catch a drag show next time I'm in town.
Yeah, it's not really my thing.
-200 quid. Didn't I say I'd pay it back?
There's still that £20 you owe me and that bill you left with Denise...
Yeah, that might have to wait. Aliyah froze all the accounts.
-I'd better get an invite to that wedding.
I don't think so.
-All right, if you need anything, you let me know.
-Yeah. Thanks again.
And if Shabnam becomes a lesbian, and I don't hear about it...
Catch your train, please.
-We've got go back in there sometime.
-He'll kill me.
-There was nothing we could do, not without Jean going ballistic.
-Dad ain't going to see it like that.
Suppose you think I've got it coming?
Well, I certainly didn't want any of this.
We're still brothers though, yeah?
Just go and face him, will you?
What took you so long? I've been calling you.
Went on a detour to get this.
Oh, nothing. Just...
Just a bit of an accident. Don't worry about it.
Did Ben tell you about losing his hearing aid?
There's no harm done, he's found it now.
Phil, you need to go a little bit more easy on him,
try and learn to trust him.
Don't tell me what I should do with my own son, all right?
I'm only saying.
-You think you know him, but believe me, you don't.
-I can't talk to you when you're like this.
Careful, it's in one of its moods.
I can't do it, Syed!
-Move your arm!
-The green one, ma!
-Follow the colours.
-I'm trying to follow the colours!
-No, don't touch it. You made it go wrong!
-No, you did it.
Didn't there used to be something there?
Yeah, A pair of gold lions?
Oh, yeah. That's right. Hideous. I can't bear...
Stop it! I can't bear the things,
-but we found out they were worth... How much?
I knew it. I knew you'd screw it up!
It weren't Ben's fault. If we'd carried on arguing with Jean,
-she'd have got Kat and Alfie involved and it would have been made into a massive deal.
Well, let's see her say no to me.
Ready? One, two. Let's have it.
-I've never seen you dance before.
-Then you've been missing out.
-How's Alfie put up with that?
-It's all front, innit?
Um, is this a private party
-or can anybody else join?
-We're only messing about.
Come on, babe. You've got to learn to have trust, you know what I mean?
Chill out, babe.
He has got a point you know.
Coming across as a bit, um...
Yeah. Come on, let's crack that bottle open shall we? Come on.
She's getting rid of the evidence, isn't she?
-That frame will be gone for good.
-Yeah, what about the tea towel?
We burn it. Then it really is over, isn't it?
What do you reckon?
Who brought that in?
Jean, I think.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
Masood is stunned when his wayward brother AJ arrives on the Square, but it soon becomes clear why Zainab is not a fan. Kat is left frustrated after her efforts to spend time alone with Alfie are thwarted - with her mystery man still pursuing her, will Kat succumb to his charms?
Jay's world soon comes crashing down around him when he makes a shocking discovery about Heather's murder, and Kim is left feeling insecure about her relationship with Ray after she watches him flirt with a guest at his flat-warming party.