16/06/2012 EastEnders Omnibus

You all right? How you getting on with the last one?

If you people stop interrupting me, I'll be fine.

Blimey. Listen to her.

Abs, I could teach you more than any exam.

Schooled at the university of life, I was.

Just ignore him. She's going to do us proud, ain't you, darling?

My little girl, all grown up. Look, even gets her own post.

You all right keeping an eye on the car lot while I go and see Satan?

-Satan?

-Yeah, the bank manager.

No. No, I've got to do Cruella's hair rehearsal. I did tell you.

She don't need her barnet doing,

all she's got to do is give it a scrub, get the spiders out.

That's what I love about you. Always so supportive.

-See you later, darling.

-See ya.

-So, you will do it or not?

-Yes, I can do it.

-Sweet.

-Sweet?

-Yeah, I'm down with the kids.

Look, don't worry about it, it's fine. It's only one sicky.

I'm so sorry, Dad, I'm never like this. I don't even really drink.

It is all right. You let your old man look after you, eh?

Poppy! Poppy!

Oh, thank you so much for doing this.

Honestly, with Gaynor away I am up to my eyeballs. Hello!

Hello! Don't be silly. It's me and you, ain't it?

Y'know - dream team reunited.

-Get under the brolly.

-Ta.

Never let it be said that my uncle is just a dodgy antiques dealer.

-What you on about?

-Been on the phone to Eddie.

He's transferred the money for the VAT.

Oh, has he? That's so good.

-Brilliant.

-Yes.

-Yeah, yeah. Good.

-OK, I'm going to take this out.

-All right.

What's she still doing here?

Kat, she's got a kid.

We said we're good for money to the end of the week. All right?

We need to be worrying about the money we lost, not her.

-Listen, sweetheart, about Michael, all right...

-I don't care

what Michael and Lady Muck think.

They're getting away with stitching us up and blaming Jean.

You think the little green men might've taken it away, do ya?

You actually believe them two over Jean?

Kat, sweetheart, listen.

Can me and you, can we just be happy for half an hour, yeah?

Can you do that?

-You need proof, and I'm going to get proof.

-Oh stop!

Jean! Get your shoes on.

Now, there ain't a hangover known to man that a bit a pork can't cure.

You go and take a seat, darling.

On your lonesome?

My dad's in Devon with my brother. He'll be back any time.

Not interested.

I know it was you that got her in that state last night.

Not my fault if she can't handle her booze, is it?

Now, how about you make us a couple of sausage sandwiches on the house.

I'll go over there and I'll forget that you said that.

How about you don't tell me what to do?

Now I'm playing nice, here. All sunshine and smiles.

But don't push it.

Don't push what, Mr Branning?

I've changed my mind. I don't think we should break in.

What? And let them two get away with taking you for a ride?

No, it's just I don't want to get into trouble with the police.

Janine! That's a bit careless, ain't it?

Janine?

Should've told me you was popping through, Mr Hardcastle.

Is there somewhere a bit less public we could have a word?

Oh, so this is an official visit, is it?

I've just heard a few things regarding a police raid.

Say no more, Joe. Say no more.

Tell you what, why don't we go back to mine and have a nice little chat, eh?

I thought we were going to spend the day together?

We will, sweetheart. We will.

Tell you what, you finish that, and then we'll head up west.

Hmm? Spend some quality father and daughter time. Yeah?

This won't take long.

-I didn't get you in trouble with your dad, did I?

-No, he's fine.

Must be hard having a crim' as a dad.

He's promised he's gone straight, Lucy.

I wish people would just give him a chance.

It's no use. If he's deleted the files at the gym

he's hardly likely to leave paperwork lying around about it.

He's too clever.

I always did love a compliment. Thank you.

-I told you it's not over.

-You say so many things, Kathleen.

Why can't you just stop lying? The truth will out. It always has.

I feel sorry for people like you.

Constructing little fantasies to get yourselves through the day,

living your grotty little lives,

seeing me and Janine - happy, wealthy.

Terrible thing, jealousy.

You think we're jealous of you?

You know what they say - problems at home, problems away.

I bet you wonder why you ever came back, don't you?

Tell you what, why don't we go and speak to the organ grinder?

I'm bored of talking to her monkey.

I mean, after Jode left it was well sad,

not Brad and Jennifer sad, but sad-sad.

Now though, it's like I'm reborn. I'm Brangelina.

Well, that's my mind at rest.

I got a plush flat in the city. I'm my own boss.

And the business is going really well.

-You are such an inspiration, Tanya.

-There are other words I can think of.

Oh, sorry.

And you, Miss Butcher. You've always been so independent.

I suppose that'll change now, though. What with the baby coming.

You think I'm just going to turn into some doting housewife?

Nothing wrong with that, is there?

Well, it doesn't seem to have agreed with you does it?

This would probably be easier with your mouth shut.

I think it's beautiful, marriage. Security, trust, commitment.

Y'know, if you're all right here for a minute, Poppy,

I'm just going to check on the car lot.

Excuse me, I've actually paid for two specialists.

Oh, don't worry, Miss Butcher.

It'll give us a chance to catch up on all the gossip, eh.

DRILLING

I'll level with you, Joe.

I ain't been no saint in the past. We both know that.

But that little girl over the road,

she's the most important thing in the world to me.

Why would I want to lose her again?

It's my job to make sure you aren't breaking the terms of your license, Mr Branning.

Yes, I understand that. Of course. Yes. That's right.

But did they find anything when they raided me the last time?

No they did not, Joe. No, they did not.

I'm a reformed character. I've been working over the car front

with my brother for the last two weeks.

I got my priorities right, mate. Yes.

Tell me, you got kids, Joe?

It's "Seph". Jo...seph.

Yes...I have.

Well, then you'll understand where I'm coming from, won't you?

Now, if there's nothing else,

there's a little girl waiting for a special day with her daddy.

Mr Branning...not a lot of people get a second chance.

Don't let her down.

Or me.

I told you, love, suppliers gone bust. Hands are tied.

Oh, don't give me that.

This is my family's livelihood you're towing away. Please, just...

-Just wait till my husband gets here.

-Max Branning?

You probably want to give him a call.

I've got work to do.

Max!

This stops now, yeah -

you and your freak of a fiancee - cos Jean's not on her own anymore.

This again.

Why would we feel the need to steal off of your peasant family?

Who knows why you do anything, Janine.

I'm surprised you ain't booked the synagogue again.

So you're happy about with Eddie clearing up Michael's mess, are you?

-Eddie?

-Yeah, he's lent Alfie the VAT money.

Will he also replace the money you spent when you had your...

What shall we call it?

..little holiday from your happy pills?

This stops today. All right? Or I'll call the law.

No, can we please just sort this between ourselves?

No. If she wants to play the businesswoman

we've got to do this properly.

So, you're going to call the police? On me?

You are joking?

Do I look like I'm joking?

I'm just saying it sounds a bit like a 12-year-old's party.

-Coming from the girl who done her ankle on the swings.

-Shut up.

Look, don't you just want to get hammered and chuck your guts up?

That's what you're meant to do on your birthday.

Nah, day up west'll be good, won't it, Jay? Getting out here for a bit.

Abi?

What?

Are you even listening to us?

I need to go. I should be revising.

Nice one.

Abi? Listen, don't worry about what Lola said.

I'm going to make everything perfect for your birthday.

I need some space.

Yeah, but where am I supposed to get replacement motors?

No, I appreciate that, but that's too short notice.

Give me the phone. I'll tell them what I think of their customer service.

Just what do you think you're playing at, eh?

No I will not change the tone in my voice,

how about you change the tone of yours, eh?

-Hello...? Well done, babe, very clever.

-Oh, don't blame me.

-That's really improved the situation.

-This is typical you, this is.

Why couldn't you tell me we were in trouble, eh?

Why do I always have to wait for some bailiff?

How am I supposed to know the geezer has gone bust?

Because you love it. It's right up your street, this.

Anything dodgy. Bit of secrecy, you're there.

I didn't hear you complaining when we was sneaking around.

At least Greg looked after his family.

So, that's what you want then, is it eh?

Mr sensible? Mr boring? Eh? Eh? Is that what you want? Go on then! Call him up, Tan, go on!

-We're throwing stuff about, are we?

-Am I such a big disappointment?

-Let's just smash the place up.

-Go on!

-That'll help things.

You going to get him sent back inside again?

-Excuse me?

-Everyone knows it's him selling all the dodgy booze round here.

Do you know how hard it is to try and start again?

How there's always people like you ready to point the finger?

Mr Branning's trying to make a fresh start.

What, and you actually believe that?

He's working for his brother. Looking after his daughter.

-Maybe you should give him a break.

-Working for his brother?

If that's the case, why don't you go and ask Max?

See if he's had a chance to get his cover story sorted.

Go easy. Slowly, slowly.

Good girl. Ooh-hoo-hoo! Go on then.

This is not going to work, it's a really stupid idea.

No, this is pint glass Jenga? What do you reckon, sweetheart?

-I think it looks fun.

-Course it's fun.

It's going to be the rage in every pub across London. Go easy.

Go easy.

GLASSES SMASH

Kat!

Go upstairs, make yourselves comfortable.

I told you, Alfie, no-one messes with my family.

Sorry.

What you sorry for?

I dunno. I just...

wanted it to be...

Just a bit rusty, ain't we?

I've got to go and help Poppy out. She's been with Janine all morning.

What you talking about? It's only money, innit?

We've got each other. Don't need anything else.

TANYA GIGGLES

Urgh! You two are so gross.

Is that my revision on the floor?

Oh, Abi...

THEY CORPSE

I feel like a naughty schoolgirl.

CLEARS THROAT

Sorry. Mr Branning? Your daughter said to come in.

Here we go, we'll just have these - careful, they're hot -

then we'll make a move, eh? Wasted enough of the day already.

Thanks for this, Dad. I don't know what I'd have done without you.

You'd think I was a bit old for a bucket

and my dad holding my hair back.

Nonsense, you're my little angel. I'll always look after you.

MOBILE PHONE BEEPS

Thanks.

You all right? You look like you've seen a ghost.

-I've just got to nip out for a bit.

-I thought we were going out together?

We are. We are, darling.

Look, I'll tell you what, why don't you take this, get yourself a bit

of lunch, and I'll meet you outside that chicken place in an hour.

Dad? You do want to spend time together, don't you?

Course I do, sweetheart. Hmm.

Course I do.

I'll meet you in an hour. I promise.

Sorry about that. Just a bit of business.

As I was saying, this isn't an official visit.

Just wanted to check everything's all right with your brother at the car lot.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Yeah, it's going really well.

If a Branning can't sell you nothing, it's not worth having.

Max...

Oh, Joseph, twice in one day, what a treat..

How funny seeing you here, Derek.

I just wanted a quick word with your brother.

Yeah, all sorted now, ain't it? Cushdy.

So if you gents don't mind, I've got a bit of business to do.

-Like I said, straight as a die.

-Yeah, he's doing great. Employee of the month three months in a row.

So, can't say fairer than that, can you?

Can I have a quick word with you, Mr Branning?

Three months now, is it?

You know, I really started to believe you.

Thought you might actually be making a go of it.

For Alice if not for no-one else.

What kind of an idiot does that make me?

No Joe, look, you don't understand...

Oh, I understand perfectly. I'm done trusting you, Derek.

Kat, all I'm saying, sweetheart,

was there was no need to phone the old bill.

We don't actually know what happened, do we?

She's not a thief. Can't you see that?

He's twisting everything, that cousin of yours.

Oh, about time.

-Why's she with you?

-We told you to wait at home, Miss Butcher.

You don't think I'd miss this, do you?

Mrs Moon, we've received a complaint about you and Mrs Slater

using threatening behaviour towards Miss Butcher

and causing criminal damage to her property.

-You are having a laugh?

-It doesn't look like it, does it?

If we can go somewhere a bit more private and discuss this?

Why? I have got nothing to hide. Where is the nutcase anyway?

-Miss Butcher if you could refrain...

-Don't call her that!

-Let's just calm down yeah?

-Or what? Are you going to hit me?

Because I'm sure our little friends in uniform here

might have something to say about that.

Who said anything about hitting you?

Whoa, whoa, Kat! What you doing, darling?!

Whoa, whoa, enough!

We'll take into account all you've told us,

but any more behaviour like that and we'll have to arrest you.

Is that it?!

They'll do their best, I'm sure. You will, won't you?

Mrs Slater, these are very serious allegations of harassment

-that have been raised against you.

-Harassment?!

Hold on a minute. D'you think I wanted to call you lot?

You're my last resort and you're still not going to do anything?

We understand that you're frustrated, Mrs Moon...

Frustrated? You caught me on a good day!

CID will look into both the allegations.

In the meantime, stay away from Miss Butcher and Mr Moon

-and let us do our job.

-Hold on a minute...

If you want, we can take you both down the station and make these cautions official?

It was good to see the police being put to use today, right?

Hmm. Yeah. Come here, come here.

I want you all to myself before we have to start hating each other.

-What?

-That's what they do on the Square, ain't it?

Once you get married?

Oh, baby, how could I possibly hate you any more?

That's it. We're on.

Come on, one of us has to get to the office and tidy up that mess.

Get that... What's that no mark? Billy, get him to do it.

No point having a dog if you bark yourself.

I don't understand why they won't drop it. If Eddie's paid off the debts then...

I just don't get what the problem would be.

-Eddie?

-Mm-hmm.

-He's skint.

-Say pretty please.

-Don't mess me about.

-I need to speak to the gaffer.

-The gaffer's busy.

So you can talk to me or sling your hook.

-I don't think we've been introduced. Derek Branning.

-Kat.

Pleasure. You look like a woman

who knows a bargain when she sees one.

Yeah. I know a con when I see one, as well.

Now, if some booze happens to fall off the back of a lorry,

who am I to criticise how it was packed?

How much?

How much can you take? I've got thirty cases of spirits.

There's a ton in the till with your name on it. I'll take ten.

-Two fifty.

-Ton.

That is daylight robbery.

So if you're going to get robbed,

wouldn't you prefer it was someone that looked like me?

I haven't got time for this.

Tell Alfie it'll be round the back.

-S'matter with you?

-Nothing.

Never saw Lauren smiling like that when she had revision.

Well, that's because Lauren's a doughnut. I'm just nipping out.

All right, see ya.

-Hello, darling.

-Hiya.

Just like the good old days.

What?

You. Me. Sofa. Half of Walford walking in on us.

Except I'm not your scarlet woman.

I'm not saying that, am I?

I'm your wife.

Well, you ain't. Not technically.

But if you want to play dress up, fine.

It's not just about the sex.

I want... I want everything to be back the way it was.

Well, that sort of is how it was.

I'm being serious.

So am I.

Shall we do it then?

Do what?

Get married.

What?

Do you want me to get down on one knee?

Max Branning, will you marry me?

Again.

All done.

Well done. Now you take that.

Now I want you to drive this away from here

as far as possible and dump it.

-What do you mean dump it?

-Dump it. Get rid of it. Comprende?

There's a couple of grands worth of gear back there. Let me take it...

You don't understand. I'm finished with all of this. Clean break.

No ties. Now you get on your way. Go on. Scarper.

Babe, I'm not saying I don't want to, am I.

-No, you're just not saying anything.

-It's just not...

-No, don't.

It just not supposed to be like this is it?

Babes, it's supposed to be me going down on one knee, an' all that.

I was... I was waiting.

Tan, listen to me. Tan. Tan? Listen to me, will ya?

Course I want to marry ya, you soppy mare.

It's me and you, ain't it? All I've ever wanted.

-You're just saying that?

-Course I ain't.

Cos I don't want some sympathy husband...

I love you. I'm not going anywhere.

I'm sorry for acting like a brat today.

You didn't.

You know, I don't want to do all that fancy stuff for my birthday.

I don't care what we do.

As long as I get to spend it with you.

Abs, I ain't good at this.

Words. I just want you to know...

You know what I'm trying to say.

I love you too, stupid.

I couldn't live without you, Abs.

We gotta stop meeting like this, boys. People will talk.

Our special day you said. You promised. Where were you?

I'm sorry, sweetheart, I got held up.

Yeah, it looks like it.

No. Alice! Alice, please. Look... Alice, come back! Alice, please.

-Alice. Alice, stop.

-Mum, Joey, Lucy...

Everyone's right about you.

Why do I always believe you? You're vile.

Rotten. And you're never going to change.

Alice... Alice!

You dried off then?

You are like a bad smell.

This needs to be sorted now. All right? No police. No Michael.

Just you and me.

There's nothing to sort. Jean's lying.

And that is all there is to it.

She's got no need to lie.

She's obsessed with him, Kat.

He's really got you wrapped round his little finger, ain't he?

He's telling the truth.

KAT LAUGHS

Michael doesn't know the meaning of that word.

You've just realised what you're missing out on, haven't you?

If I wanted him I could have him.

-Damaged goods.

-You want to watch your mouth, Janine.

All right for a bit of a, y'know, fumble in the Costa Del Sol,

but not really settling down material, are you?

He's going to take you for everything you've got.

You don't know a thing about me and Michael.

And you're going to be the one left holding the baby. You deluded cow.

Me? Me deluded? Yeah. Yeah, that's a good one, Kat,

cos a little birdy told me Eddie's skint.

Oh, so where has that money come from, I wonder?

You don't think Alfie would lie to you, do you?

You want to wind your neck in, yeah.

I haven't even started with you yet.

You know, when I woke up this morning, I looked out

and I thought to myself, this is going to be a good day, Derek.

Sun's up, your daughter's here

and nothing's going to take the shine off of this.

You have got yourself a new start, son.

What do you want?

And, even when I came in here and had to take your lip,

I thought no, fair do's to the girl.

She's sticking up for herself. I admire that.

I want you to leave.

But life ain't as simple as that, is it?

Hmm? Being a good man. A father.

Going straight.

I'll ring someone, if you think I won't?

Who you going to ring? Your daddy?

We both know he don't give a monkeys, don't we.

The old bill? Nah, but I've already waved them away.

So who you going to ring? Hmm?

Thought as much.

You really don't get me, do you Lucy?

Hmm? What kind of man I am? What I'm capable of?

I haven't done anything.

Oh, yeah, but you have. You're a grass.

And if there's one thing in this world I can't stand, it's a grass.

You really don't know how much you've cost me today, do you?

Look.

But you're going to.

Do you understand me?

I said do you understand me?!

Good.

I'm going to be seeing you around. Hmm?

You can count on it.

No, I like the blue shirt.

No, go with the blue shirt - you look nice in that.

Yes.

Babe, are you going to tell her what you've done?

She's going to the tropics on the trip of a lifetime,

not some borstal in Croydon.

Right, and why did we find that stuffed down the sofa?

-Cheers.

-Well, I dunno. You tell her, then.

I ain't going to tell her, am I? I'm busy.

What, planning my mind-blowing proposal?

You're still married, ain't ya...Mrs Jessop?

Not for much longer.

Anyway, I got a business to save. See you later.

-Bye-bye.

-See you later.

I can't! OK, I love you too.

Bye. Bye.

Good luck.

-See you.

-Bye.

A police caution for harassment.

I mean, even they don't believe me

and they're supposed to be the experts.

Tell that to Andrew Cotton.

Look, the tax man's been sorted out now, so stop worrying.

I'm going to have to thank Eddie

for coming through with that money so quickly.

Still got to pay him back, though, ain't we?

Jean, everyone knows you're solid gold and Michael is a snake with a cesspit where his heart should be.

That's what worries me.

Go and get us some milk, yeah?

Cheers.

Hey! So how's my two favourite girls, then?

You're good at that.

You didn't touch your fruit salad, darling. That was a special treat,

for now that your exams are finished.

Thanks. Can I go?

-You've been working so hard.

-Which is why I want to hang out with my mates.

Which is...which is why me and your dad thought that you deserved a special treat.

More fruit?

Well, yeah. Definitely. Pineapples, actually.

And, er... sun, sea and some big turtles.

What are you going on about?

Costa Rica!

I've given them a ring and I've told them you're going!

-You what?

-No, I know you were scared to tell us, cos you're worried about going all that way on your own.

But you'll be fine! We'll set up the internet phone thing again

and we'll talk all the time. I mean...

Don't bother.

The only thing that got me through all that revising was the thought of summer with Jay and my mates.

So you can get rid of that...

..because I'm not going.

Hey! Hello, stranger!

What's going on?

Hey, Pops. Pops, come on, girl!

I'm telling you, Jack, I'm not one of them who can do messages. It ain't my thing.

I'd do everything I could to make it right - show my daughter what she means to me.

-Chocolates! All right, Janine?

-Sorry, bye.

-We heard you were back.

-Only to help Tanya with Janine's bridal look. I should be done by today.

We heard you're a big shot now - can't fraternise with the likes of us, eh?

Oh, no! No, no, no.

-I can't get there AFTER the client - Tanya'll kill me!

-I thought you was doing her a favour.

-Janine!

What, are you trying to force me into some sort of early labour?

-Sorry, just slipped up, didn't mean to.

-I don't know what you're smirking at.

-KAT:

-Glad to see whose side you're on, boys.

What?

This has just became a family conversation.

Like it or not, I'm going to be one of you soon.

Which is why I'd appreciate it if we forgot all of this nonsense and you came to the wedding.

-Only cos you ain't got enough mates for a conga.

-Ugh!

Talking of the Moons, I was thinking of tapping Eddie for a loan,

-to tide us over. What do you reckon?

-Dad?

We had to pay a speeding fine for him the other week.

Sorry, Kat, he's potless.

SHE GROANS

Jean, do you mind? These floors don't clean themselves, you know.

I want to be served by Kim.

She served me last time I won.

Where is Kim?

-It's not Kim you need, darling, it's a reality check.

-No, it's your negativity that's making me unlucky.

-Michel Platini, Euro '84 - that's all I'm saying.

-Oi, oi, oi!

Lest we forget Bobby Moore, the greatest, most capped outfield player there's ever been.

Nothing to do with the fact he's West Ham, then?

I can't believe an Orient fan's talking about international football. You ain't got a clue.

Correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't Bobby Moore overtaken by King David,

whose first team, as much as I hate to rub it in, was Spurs.

Listen to Roxy Mitchell - head full of football stats.

-Good looks...

-For her age!

-Oi, oi, oi!

Why, I think the girl's got it all!

-Yeah? Not everything.

-So if you were a betting man, what would you put your money on?

So now that my talents have been acknowledged, does that mean I can be your right-hand woman?

-What?

-For the football team!

-What? Yeah, come on, then. Why not?

-Oh, get in!

-Come on!

-Don't touch my hair.

-I won't.

-Good.

See you again soon, then. Thanks. Bye.

How we getting on, ladies?

Why don't we start with a massage? Help you chillax.

I'm perfectly chillaxed, thank you.

You all right? I've got college, so I can't stay long.

Whitney, you're my chief bridesmaid. College can wait.

No wonder you're all knotted up.

All that business with your in-laws-to-be. Nightmare!

Please can we just get on with what we're here for?

Poppy's a successful entrepreneur, aren't you, Poppy?

I wish I'd had my head screwed on like you when I was your age.

Yeah, I have done quite well, haven't I?

Can I have my water, please?

Poppy? Janine's water.

Oh. Yeah. There you go.

THEY GASP

Oh, I'm so sorry. I am so sorry.

It's all right.

I was sick of looking at the perfect brides, anyway.

You all right?

I'm fine, yeah.

-Tracey...

-Hi.

-Did you know that Madonna doesn't like hydrangeas?

I could tell that just from looking at her face.

That was the kind of expertise I brought to the job...

when I worked here.

I wonder, could I help you out again?

Well, we have got a couple of weddings coming up

and Lila is looking for someone to help.

Go on, then.

-Now?

-Yeah.

-Cash in hand?

-All right.

Oh! Thank you.

HE SIGHS

You look like you've just lost a winning lottery ticket.

What you doing here?

Come to see the fittest boy in Walford, if that's OK with him.

RADIO: 'Sophie from Ilford.

'How you doing, Sophie? Answer this question correctly

'and you'll win an expenses-paid trip to Miami.'

Sounds lovely, don't it?

'Which rapper has had a hit with Miami?

'Will Smith, 50 Cent or Chipmunk?'

Chipmunk, innit? It's Chipmunk! Yeah, come on, Chipmunk!

'Is it...Will Smith?'

No, Sophie, you idiot!

'Sophie from Ilford, you...

'have just won a trip to Miami!'

SOPHIE SQUEALS

Sorry, how many GCSEs did you say you got?

You saying I ain't got skills?

Well, come here, you little brainiac. I'll show you a few skills.

Sorry, I just need some air.

-Well, I'd better be getting back to the car.

-No, I didn't mean...

-Listen, you want to stop - we stop.

Well, I didn't say that.

I would never push you away.

But I think if we split up, you'd be all right after a day or two.

But then if I weren't with you, it'd be nothing.

Just...there's nothing left.

-How many times do I have to tell you I feel the same way?

-No, you don't.

-If you knew what I've...

-Well, like you said before, I don't know anything, do I?

Abi!

-I don't like it.

-She loves it!

-SHE CHUCKLES

-Simon Cowell does that, don't he?

I hate it!

Why do I get to look like Alex Reid in drag

while she looks like Kate Middleton?!

A bride is mean to look innocent and fresh-faced.

But you're about to give birth...

Oh, is that what this is?!

Look I'm really sorry, Floppy, or whatever your name is.

-Poppy.

-It's going to take a miracle to make the perfect bride

with the perfect wedding, and, no disrespect,

but I just...I'm not convinced miracles are your thing.

I'm going to go.

You can't go looking like that!

Please! Please, let me fix it.

-Come on, Abs...

-No, Jay!

-Just listen to me.

-No.

-Why not?

-Abi! What's happened?

-Please, Mum, I don't want to talk to him.

-Don't cry, babe.

-Just leave it. Are you all right?

Are you sure?

-You go and help Poppy out at the salon. I'll come and find you in a bit.

-Abi!

No, you wait.

Come with me. You and me can have a little chat.

Give me a minute.

Wo-hoo! Look!

Go on. Treat yourself!

-Yeah, we'll see.

-Yeah, I've heard you've been having some money problems.

Listen, for what it's worth, I'd take Jean's word over Michael's any day of the week,

no matter what medication she's been on.

Here, do us a favour, Kat. Help me choose something for my little girl.

I say little - she's 18 now.

All right, let's have a mooch.

You should get that top.

Don't want to let yourself go, do you?

Is that right?

How about this?

So did you spend a lot of time with my husband while I was away?

Single man of a certain age comes to rely on his local.

I'm sure the Vic weren't the same without its landlady.

Don't get me started about Blondie. She ain't up to it.

Who wants scrag end when they can have prime rib, eh?

Yeah, but some people like a bit of both, don't they?

Ooh, that's nice.

Thank you.

Well, you're obviously very broad-minded,

letting her shack up with your old man.

I mean, she's not the type of girl that likes to take no for an answer, is she?

And you're not the one to cause trouble, are you?

Buy the top.

-There you go, darling.

-Thank you.

It's obvious what all that was about.

Me and Max have had our moments with you, haven't we?

But that's...that's cos Abi's...

She's our little girl.

In some ways, she's still so young.

She's not like Lauren - she was backchatting from her changing mat.

It's not that we doubt the way you feel about her.

It's obvious - you love her to bits, don't you?

So let her go, darling. You got to let her go.

Go where?

Costa Rica.

The...er... The eco...thing.

The scholarship. She must have told you she'd applied for it.

Oh.

Right. I thought that was why she was upset -

cos you didn't want her to go.

Oh, Jay, it's the opportunity of a lifetime.

I mean, they've only chosen 12 people, out of hundreds.

And it's all sorted now. The flights, accommodation. I've even booked her in for her travel jabs.

-Oh, look, it's only for eight weeks.

-It's for eight weeks?!

Jay, wait! Wait.

You just said you loved her, yeah?

Now, if that's true, you'll make sure she goes.

I left some stuff upstairs.

Er... And I was helping Alfie with the football thing.

I never thanked you, did I, for stepping in while I was away?

Alfie says you've been a real godsend.

Well, that's all right. He's a good mate, ain't he?

He told me about your friendship.

Did he? What did he say?

That my hair always clogs up the sink?

I can see why any girl, you know, who's a bit lonely,

kid to look after, not as much of a catch as she was,

-would want to be round Alfie.

-Little bit uncalled for.

Alfie...er...makes girls like us feel good.

He sees past the stuff that other people see and he sees what's underneath.

You know, that's special.

OK. Er...

All right, look, Kat...

I'm not going to lie to you, OK?

SHE SIGHS

It was a little crush. A tiny, silly little crush. MY crush.

And Alfie made it perfectly clear that he belongs to you.

So even after he knew how you felt...

he carried on living with you and working with you.

-You was practically his wife!

-I meant, nothing happened.

But you wanted it to, yeah?

So while I was away for months looking after my sick dad,

you was singing round the campfire like the Waltons?

Kat, he wants you.

You paid off our debt, didn't you?

It wasn't a handout. It was just a loan.

KAT CLEARS THROAT

This should be your last shift, OK?

And...um...

this little chat stays between us, yeah?

Yeah.

All right, Marie? Just a ham roll and a cup of tea, please.

Er, actually, make it two teas, will you?

Mmm! You'll smudge.

-TEARFULLY:

-I can't do anything right.

Me either.

You know, I haven't had a client yell at me in...

Well, like, months at least.

It's like I'm cursed at the moment.

What's it all about, eh?

Here you are.

All right, darling?

Have you spoken to Jay?

No, why?

SHE CLEARS THROAT

Where's Janine?

Oh. She...er...

She... Yeah, can I talk to you?

You've told him, haven't you?

You got me out of the way so you could tell him about this stupid trip!

You can't wait for me to get me away from him!

-Abi, I thought you'd told him. You should've told him yourself.

-I'm not going!

Oh, you make me sick! Sending me away, lying, trying to brainwash my boyfriend.

-Who do you think you are?

-Your mother, Abi! That's who.

-Abi, come back!

-Leave me alone!

Look, Abi just needs a bit of reassurance, Jay, that's all.

She's thinking you're going to move on to the next one.

Which you ain't.

I mean, some people say it ain't natural, don't they, two people staying together?

But trust me, mate, there's nothing better than finding someone you can be yourself with.

You can share all your secrets, watch each other's backs.

Anyone can find a pretty face, can't they? You know, a little bit of company,

but all that other stuff, mate, it's...

Well, it's nearly impossible.

So once you've got it, why do you want to lose it?

Stop telling me how stupid I am!

-I just know that you'll regret it if you don't go...

-I want to stay here. I want to stay here with Jay!

Why? If he loved you, why would he want you to hang around here, anyway? What, with Ben?

Ben, who's already been in prison,

and Lola, who's what? 15 and pregnant by God knows who?

If he really loved you, he would want better for you!

-You know nothing about me and him.

-I know everything about it! I've been there. I've been you.

No, you haven't!

And the more you tell me what to do, I'll do the opposite because your life's a mess!

Yeah. Yeah, it is, actually! Do you want to know how I spent my day?

I spent the whole day trying not to scream at Janine while she bossed me around.

How do you think I know I'm right, Abi?

You stay round here, you're going to end up just like me.

That's the thing about life. You don't always get a second chance.

Is this about cancer?

Why does it always come back to this?

You can't guilt trip me into going.

All right.

Once you've stared death in the face,

you question everything you have ever done,

every decision you've ever made.

I tell you this - if I had my time again, I wouldn't be here now.

Alice.

Alice. Please, talk to me...

-I told you to leave me alone.

-Talk to me, please.

I forgave the past.

The one thing I asked was that you try and be a good man.

Maybe you can't change.

Oh, I've changed, Alice, more than you'll ever understand.

Look...

I'm never going to be a nine-to-fiver -

a milkman or a cab driver.

This life is in my blood.

But...

But I don't want it any more.

And that's cos of you.

But who's going to give me a job, eh? Eh?

An ex-con with a record as long as the Magna Carta.

I swear to you...

I swear to you, I'm trying to change.

To be good enough for you.

How can I believe a professional criminal?

If I lose you...

I'm finished.

Don't say that.

I-I got you a...

It's a dress. I...

I was hoping that you might wear it to my friend's swanky wedding.

That's if you'd do me the honour to escort me.

I don't regret having you three. Of course I don't. How could I?

All I know, darling, is that...

if I'd had your brains and your opportunities and...

I hadn't got distracted by boys and parties and...

What could I have been, eh?

What might I have done?

I just want so much for you.

To at least live a bit before you start turning things down or settling for stuff.

But if I go, he'll find someone else.

Well, then, he wasn't the right one.

Oh, as if!

As if he will find anyone half as special as my Abi Branning.

You know, sometimes you need to get away to realise how special you are,

-how much you do deserve.

-What, like you and Dad?

Oh, promise me you will never compare yourselves to us!

How could I ever forgive myself if... if you only lived half a life?

Yours isn't that bad.

You're 15.

All right! Nearly 16.

"Not bad" is not enough.

It's nowhere near enough for my baby.

All you ever need to understand is that I want the best for you.

And if you can't have the best, I want you to go down kicking and screaming.

I'll go.

Just wondering how my bridal flowers were coming along.

-Ripping Tracey off as well, are we?

-Oh, no, I'm just a local businesswoman, you know,

supporting the community.

Only the buttonholes, though. I'm not totally insane, like, er...

It would make your life so much easier if I was insane, wouldn't it, Janine?

-You all right, Jean?

-Yes, she's just looking for another police warning to go with her collection.

Where's Tracey?

You know, the sad thing is,

you could afford all the flowers in the world -

rare orchids, gold-plated roses -

but your marriage will still stink.

Cos you're both rotten to the core!

You heard this, Trace?

Are you going to say sorry, or do we have to cancel our order?

SHE SIGHS

So, was that a "I've been working so hard I deserve a drink" sigh

or was that a "get me out of here, I'd prefer to be signing on" sigh?

Bit of both.

I bodged it today, Fats.

So? Why don't you go back and do your own thing? You know, be your own boss.

Honesty hour?

OK.

I'm not a successful shellac nail technician.

And I've been evicted.

I was going to ask Tanya for a job but I've totally lost my A game.

Who'd want me? I don't know.

Come on, come on. Stop with the tears, stop with the tears.

Look, gimme that. Gimme that, OK? Come on, all right?

Look, I'll tell you what we'll do. I'll tell you what we'll do.

I will take you down to the Vic, all right? I will buy you a large drink, OK?

I'll put some big tunes on the jukebox, we'll bust a little move, all right?

And you can come back with us until you sort yourself out.

Ugh! Never have kids, I'm telling you.

Oh, darling, don't get upset about Janine. She could make Cliff Richard swear like a navvy.

And please, please, tell me you can stay -

-at least until she's made her mind up about what she really wants.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah? Good.

We'll turn that stroppy mare into a blushing bride if it kills us.

See?

I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

PLANE FLIES OVERHEAD

Come on.

-Look who it is! Hello, stranger. Long time, no see.

-Hello. You all right?

Yeah, lovely. Right, everybody, listen up.

The Queen Vic football team is about to take the footballing world by storm,

so all you amateurs get your names down, all right?

Oi, young lady, shouldn't you be on that side of the bar?

Well, you got your landlady back, haven't you?

So no more Girls Aloud back-to-back on the jukebox.

I came to say I won't be seeing you again.

Alice, look, I can change. I...

No. Mum read the texts on my phone. She's furious I've been meeting you.

Well, is it just because your mum's kicking off but, apart from that, you really want to see me?

I thought maybe I could help you.

Then we're laughing, aren't we, eh?

Cos what your mum don't know won't hurt her.

I can't keep lying.

You're an adult now -

it's your choice.

Mum and Joey reckon that you ruin people's lives.

Do you promise you won't ruin mine?

Angel, I promise.

Now, you take this back. We'll go to my friend's wedding

and I'll be the proudest dad in the world.

I can't.

Dad, it's awful.

THEY CHUCKLE

-But the chocolates are my favourites.

-Ah! Well, see? I know my little girl!

Well, looks like Derek's got his way again.

I think she's really sweet. Don't you, Alfie?

-Don't forget, you've got team talk and the nutmegs.

-What's this?

-Rox's going to help me out with the football team.

-Right.

-Well, I think, as landlady and your wife...

-Right.

-..I should be your right-hand man.

-Oh, right.

-In fact, look at this...

-Have a look.

Oh!

-What's that? FATBOY:

-Ah, check that out!

-Go on, girl!

-Ta-da!

CHEERING

Go, Mrs Moon!

Wahey! All right!

-Do you like it?

-I love it. And you know, more importantly, I love seeing you like this.

We might be skint but at least we've got the tax man off our backs, eh?

-Got Eddie to thank for that, ain't we?

-Mwah!

Right, who's next? What can I get...?

I...er...got you these.

It looks a really nice place. You'd be mad not to go.

Really?

I've been running round all day like a loon,

just trying to get some money.

I think we should go together.

To Costa Rica? I don't think you can just turn up...

Not on your trip, you doughnut.

Sit down.

On our honeymoon.

If I can't stand the thought of eight weeks without you,

how am I going to last a lifetime?

I love you, Abi.

Stay here and marry me.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd