16/10/2011 EastEnders Omnibus


16/10/2011

Yusef's meddling pushes Zainab to breaking point. Christian and Syed's lives are turned upside down. Tyler tries to impress Whitney, and Rose harbours a secret from Dot.


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Transcript


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Tanya!

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Tan!

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Get out!

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Calm down, love. Only doing my job!

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I'll use this, I swear to you, I'll use this!

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Oh, good, I'm glad you and Brian have got acquainted.

0:01:080:01:11

How did you get in here?

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-You don't feel too hot.

-Yeah, but I feel terrible.

-There.

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Go on, sit down for a bit.

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I want a full inventory on fixtures, fittings

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and general tat.

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Do me a favour, get out of my flat before I call the Old Bill!

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Hang on. Pause.

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Your flat?

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Not according to this.

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If you have any problems with the big words, just... OK?

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Oh!

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Is that your child? That is not normal.

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Excuse me, what have you stepped in?

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-You filthy pig!

-I'm going to add that to the list.

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Replace carpets.

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The increase in your rent should cover it.

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I don't get it.

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The playgroup called you.

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Yeah, about my CRB check. ..Thanks.

0:02:180:02:20

If you don't call them back, they'll think you're not interested.

0:02:200:02:24

What's the point? They know I've been done for shoplifting. They're not going to want me.

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It's only work experience.

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At the poxy community centre.

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-Dunno why I bother!

-I didn't mean it like that.

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No, it's not art college, but then, we're not all as talented as you, are we?

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Who says I'll even get in?

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You will. Must be nice. Things always working out for you.

0:02:430:02:50

Argee Bhajee To Go. New name, new menu.

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I thought you were working at the salon today?

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-I am. I just thought Mum could do with a bit of support, you know, after everything.

-How is she?

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No! I said drape, not droop.

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-Nobody wants bunting in their aloo gobi.

-All right, Zainab.

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The flat's looking really brilliant. We'd love it if you came for a visit.

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Oh, so sorry, you need to speak up.

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My inconsiderate neighbour was playing thumping disco music all last night.

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The eardrum, Christian, is a very delicate organ.

0:03:200:03:23

-What is it now?

-I don't think your mum's a fan of Lady GaGa.

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-Was it too loud?

-No, no. It's fine.

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Suppose I'll have to get used to it.

0:03:290:03:31

-We'll keep it down. Won't we?

-I'll see you later...poker face.

0:03:310:03:34

PHONE RINGS

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ANSWER PHONE: 'This is the Masoods. We can't take your call - please leave a message.'

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'Aunty? Uncle... It's me, Amira.'

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-We know you ain't ill, you know.

-I am actually. I've got a temperature.

-Yeah, and a bad case of skive-itis!

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Give her a break, will you? She just wants a day off. Where's the harm?

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-And what happened to "Thou shalt not lie"?

-Right, Abs, school please.

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-If your head gets any worse, take two of these.

-I could be dying.

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-This could be the last time you ever see me.

-No-one's dying, Abs.

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How comes madam there can bunk off but not Abs?

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She's not bunking off. She's driving me to the wholesaler's, thank you. Abi, school please.

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Look, if your head starts getting any better maybe you could have a sleepover with one of your friends?

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-Who?

-Why don't you make your mind up, on the bus

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on the way to school!

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Bye... DOOR SHUTS

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17, 18...

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19.

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My business card.

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With all my contact details.

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So?

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So, last time I was in here I noticed that you had a bit of an issue with filth.

0:05:090:05:16

-Yeah.

-And my property management company has a subsidiary division...

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..in office cleaning.

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Never underestimate the power of filth.

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See, I take a deep breath, smell the sweat, smell the stench

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of masculine vapours - tells me I'm in a real man's gym,

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not some establishment frequented by ponces in leotards.

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Filth. Filth augments ambience.

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Filth. A precious commodity.

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Well, I'll take your word for it.

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21...

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I see you got things sorted out with your dad.

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-I could have a word with him if you like.

-He's gone.

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He's on a job. I don't know when he'll be back.

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Oi, Rocky, shouldn't you be in assembly?

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Oh, nice shiner, well done!

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My old man says if you ain't had a few bruises, you ain't lived.

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Eddie Moon. Specialist subject - talking cobblers.

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Yeah. Like father, like son, eh?

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She says she's going to stay at Lola's.

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I hate lying to her.

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You can't say nothing. She'll freak out if you tell her.

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-Yeah.

-She won't understand that there's nothing to be scared of.

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Yeah... It's not that different to one of them spa days, really, is it?

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-Bit of a lie down, refreshments on tap.

-Tanya Jessop?

0:07:110:07:14

That was quick. Just getting into Katie and Peter's Dream Wedding.

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-I'll take you to the radiotherapy room now.

-Bring it on.

0:07:180:07:23

Right, yeah. Bring it on.

0:07:230:07:25

PHONE BEEPS

0:07:340:07:36

-OK if I head off to the salon now?

-Yes, of course. You should go.

0:07:430:07:48

Actually, Syed...

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Mum, I told you you'd feel better once you got out here.

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You've got nothing to be ashamed of.

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Everything's going to be all right.

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-I got a call from Pakistan last night about the interview.

-Yes. Good.

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It's to be expected, you know. This tiredness.

0:08:050:08:08

-The withdrawal from the sleeping pills can take...

-No, Yusef.

0:08:080:08:13

I am tired because that creature Christian has got no respect.

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Always be Masala Masood to me.

0:08:200:08:22

-Has she lost weight?

-Zainab? Can't say I've noticed.

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She doesn't seem herself.

0:08:280:08:30

She tried to kill herself, I doubt she'll be in the best of moods.

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I gave her a divorce cos I thought it'd make her happy.

0:08:340:08:37

Does she look happy to you?

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Only one way to find out, isn't there?

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It's a common misconception. Don't worry, everyone asks.

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I'm not vain, it's just I run a beauty salon,

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so I'm like a walking advert. Some people suit being bald, don't they?

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I've got a funny shaped head, so...

0:09:040:09:07

The radiotherapy isn't targeted near your head.

0:09:070:09:09

And your chemotherapy can cause a bit of hair thinning, but you won't lose it.

0:09:090:09:13

-Thinning. Right, yeah.

-You'll hardly notice.

0:09:130:09:18

-Shirl! Whoo-hoo!

-The one and only.

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In the flesh.

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-So Tina's back on her feet then?

-Yeah, on her feet.

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in her stilettos and on the razzle. Phil told me to keep an eye on you

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while he was away, and he weren't wrong.

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That house, Hev! If that's not curry on my kitchen tiles, someone's for the high jump.

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Well, I'm not to blame, I don't live there any more.

0:09:480:09:51

-I've moved in with Patrick.

-Urgh! Dirty old...

0:09:510:09:55

No, no, no, not moving in like that.

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I'm staying at the B&B. Didn't Phil tell you?

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No, he flaming didn't. What else did he miss out on, Hev?

0:10:000:10:03

I can't talk now. I've got a queue.

0:10:030:10:05

No, Marie can manage. Right, you lot. There's free curry out there.

0:10:050:10:09

Gratis, all for nothing. While stocks last. Go on.

0:10:090:10:13

Do you want to see my white bits?

0:10:150:10:17

Hev, home. Now.

0:10:190:10:20

Your daughter gave us a CD.

0:10:280:10:30

Thought the music might help relax you during your treatment.

0:10:300:10:33

What is she like? I couldn't be more relaxed.

0:10:330:10:36

All set, then.

0:10:370:10:39

I'll be in the control room but we can still talk to each other.

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If you've got any worries, wave your hand.

0:10:440:10:46

We can stop the machine at any time.

0:10:460:10:48

Definitely curry sauce from the chippy.

0:11:120:11:15

This ruck Phil had with Patrick, did he apologise?

0:11:150:11:18

Yeah. Once he'd chucked Kat and Alfie out the Vic.

0:11:180:11:22

-But they're back there now.

-So why are you still at the B&B?

0:11:220:11:25

-It's only going to be for a few more days.

-Good.

0:11:250:11:29

-Till I move into one of Janine's flats.

-Janine?!

0:11:290:11:32

Have you had a bang on the head? Do you think you're a yuppy?

0:11:320:11:35

No. Darren sorted me out with some money

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and I've spoken to the social about benefits.

0:11:370:11:39

-Oh, you want to meet Elvis again.

-Eh?

0:11:390:11:41

That's what happened last time you were living on your own!

0:11:410:11:44

-You were that close to a duet with the King of Rock 'n' Roll!

-Look, it's a nice place.

0:11:440:11:48

-Me and George are moving in this weekend.

-You're back!

-Buenos dias.

0:11:480:11:53

They let you off, did they, to come and join the welcoming committee?

0:11:530:11:56

Sorry, I was just... What's happened to your eye?

0:11:560:12:00

He's been down the boxing gym, I bet!

0:12:000:12:03

So, how do you fancy a slap-up lunch? I'm been dying for some English food.

0:12:030:12:07

-Chinese suit you?

-Pork balls!

0:12:070:12:10

I'm going to get the menu.

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MUSIC: "Barbie Girl" by Aqua

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This used to be my little boy's favourite when he was a baby.

0:12:190:12:22

Try to keep as still as you can.

0:12:220:12:24

Yeah, sorry.

0:12:240:12:25

Sorry.

0:12:250:12:27

Don't come complaining to me

0:12:310:12:33

-if it burns a hole in your carpet, that's all I'm saying.

-Yeah, yeah.

0:12:330:12:36

Citizen's advice.

0:12:360:12:38

Who, what, where?

0:12:380:12:40

Is that supposed to be a question?

0:12:400:12:42

Yes. You look like the kind of person that would know.

0:12:420:12:46

-I look like someone who has legal problems?

-Yeah.

0:12:460:12:48

That's £7.38, please.

0:12:480:12:50

You know, as a responsible shopkeeper,

0:12:500:12:54

Denise should report this excessive chemical purchase.

0:12:540:12:57

-Pardon?

-You're either very clean or a potential terrorist threat.

0:12:570:13:01

-And I know which one I think is more likely.

-What is your problem?

0:13:010:13:05

-Staff discount?

-Zainab, if you don't mind me asking,

0:13:080:13:11

-but is everything...

-Zainab? You'd better come out here.

0:13:110:13:14

Excuse me! We're having a conversation...

0:13:140:13:16

That'll be in my head all day now!

0:13:230:13:25

Good. It's supposed to take your mind off things.

0:13:250:13:28

Took me back to that karaoke bar in Cyprus, you remember?

0:13:280:13:31

Your dad hated it.

0:13:310:13:34

Hello. I'm Sam. I'll take you to the chemo suite now, if you're ready?

0:13:340:13:38

Idiot Waseem! As if we'd give away free food!

0:13:410:13:45

Where does that boy get his stupid ideas from?!

0:13:450:13:47

Maybe someone wants to spoil your launch.

0:13:470:13:49

-PHONE RINGS

-I'll get it.

0:13:490:13:52

No... no. It's fine.

0:13:520:13:55

'It's me again. Amira.

0:13:550:13:58

'How many more times before you actually speak to me?'

0:13:580:14:01

-After you've done this, we can go home. Have a pizza.

-Lovely.

0:14:040:14:09

-A Hawaiian. Bit of garlic bread...

-Right. Ladies?

0:14:120:14:16

Actually, Lauren, would you go and get me a quick drink?

0:14:160:14:20

-I'm supposed to keep hydrated at all times.

-You've been reading the leaflets.

0:14:200:14:25

Haven't got much choice with this one. Not tea, it tastes like mushroom soup.

0:14:250:14:29

Right, let's get you started, shall we?

0:14:290:14:32

You agreed that it was for the best.

0:14:420:14:45

You said you were on my side.

0:14:460:14:48

I did and I am. But maybe we underestimated her.

0:14:480:14:52

She's not going to give up, is she?

0:14:520:14:54

-Perhaps it's time you let her speak to Syed.

-No. Never.

0:14:540:14:57

-But Zainab...

-If she divorces Syed,

0:14:570:14:59

then Christian will have free reign

0:14:590:15:01

to go ahead with this civil marriage partnership nonsense.

0:15:010:15:06

I will not let that man get his claws any deeper into my son than he has already.

0:15:060:15:10

Syed'll never forgive you if he finds out you've lied about Amira.

0:15:100:15:13

It's my duty to protect my son.

0:15:130:15:16

You promise me you won't say anything. Promise.

0:15:160:15:18

I promise.

0:15:200:15:21

-They're ready for your mum now. Any idea where she is?

-She's in there.

0:15:280:15:32

No, she ain't.

0:15:320:15:34

Certainly attracting the crowds.

0:15:370:15:39

Crowds of scroungers wanting something for nothing.

0:15:390:15:42

-What?

-Someone spread the rumour that we were giving away free food.

0:15:420:15:47

You wouldn't happen to know anything about this, would you?

0:15:470:15:50

Course not! Why would I do that?

0:15:500:15:52

I want this business to be a success as much as you.

0:15:520:15:54

Zee, you look exhausted.

0:15:540:15:57

Why don't you go home and rest up?

0:15:570:15:58

-I'm not an invalid!

-That's not what I'm...

0:15:580:16:01

Amira. It's Dr Khan.

0:16:130:16:15

I spoke to your father a while ago. ..Yes, that's right.

0:16:160:16:20

Well, maybe we should meet.

0:16:220:16:24

You ain't got a light, have you?

0:16:350:16:37

Oh, nice hair! Where'd you get it from?

0:16:370:16:40

Don't tell me, one of them online places. America, I bet.

0:16:400:16:45

Eh? No. This is all my own.

0:16:450:16:47

Oh.

0:16:470:16:49

-You here to visit the House of Death, then? Cancer ward?

-You?

0:16:490:16:54

No way.

0:16:540:16:56

Fit as, me.

0:16:560:16:58

All the lippy in the world ain't going to help.

0:17:050:17:08

There you are!

0:17:100:17:12

Yeah, hi. This is Whitney Dean. I think you wanted to talk to me?

0:17:190:17:24

Yeah, I'll hold.

0:17:240:17:25

Whose idea was it to change the name then?

0:17:250:17:28

It was a rebranding.

0:17:280:17:30

It's a lot to take on, though. If I'd been through what you'd been through...

0:17:300:17:34

Waseem, put the lid back on the pilau or it'll dry out.

0:17:340:17:37

If you don't want to talk to me, it's fine. But give Mas a chance.

0:17:370:17:41

-He deserves that.

-What is this? The Denise Fox relationship helpline?

0:17:410:17:45

Remind me, how many husbands have you had?

0:17:450:17:48

-He's worried sick about you, you know.

-Just leave it.

0:17:480:17:51

-I have customers.

-You don't make it easy, do you?

0:17:510:17:53

-No wonder he's walking on eggshells.

-Whatever, Denise.

-Yes, that's right!

0:17:530:17:57

He's worried if he says the wrong thing, you'll try and top yourself again...

0:17:570:18:01

Oh...

0:18:010:18:03

I'm sorry, Zainab. I didn't mean...

0:18:050:18:07

Zainab!

0:18:080:18:11

Oi!

0:18:110:18:12

-Are you mad?

-Lauren, it's my decision.

0:18:130:18:16

-She's got you there, Emo.

-Who are you?

0:18:160:18:19

Thought you could use a referee.

0:18:190:18:21

Once they start dripping this poison in,

0:18:210:18:24

-I'm going to be no good to anyone.

-What are you talking about?

0:18:240:18:27

Your dad's gone AWOL. I just... I can't be sick, Lauren.

0:18:270:18:31

Not now! I mean, who's going to make sure you all do your homework on time,

0:18:310:18:36

and stop Oscar running riot, and make you rice pudding and toast when you're ill,

0:18:360:18:40

and let you watch DVDs till the pain goes away?

0:18:400:18:42

I can do that.

0:18:420:18:44

No. All these treatments, they have side-effects.

0:18:450:18:49

The major one being that it might just save your life, Mum!

0:18:490:18:52

I could go into early menopause, maybe not be able to have kids.

0:18:520:18:55

-You don't want any more.

-Well, I'd like to have a choice!

0:18:550:18:59

Right.

0:18:590:19:00

So you're just going to die, then.

0:19:010:19:04

Thanks. Thanks a lot, Mum.

0:19:040:19:06

What about me, Abi and Oscar?

0:19:060:19:08

You're so worried about the kids you ain't even had yet, you've forgotten about us!

0:19:080:19:12

We need you to get better, Mum.

0:19:120:19:15

Gobby little mare, your daughter, ain't she?

0:19:210:19:23

Don't let no-one push you about, Blondie. You do what you want to do.

0:19:230:19:27

-Maybe she's just not ready.

-She is. She'll be here. You just need to wait for her.

0:19:440:19:48

How could she do that to me?

0:20:030:20:05

-Don't worry, it'll soon blow over.

-Blow over?!

0:20:050:20:07

Everybody's out there gossiping about what I tried to do.

0:20:090:20:13

How will I show my face at the mosque again?

0:20:130:20:15

No-one will believe you'd ever harm yourself.

0:20:150:20:18

If the community finds out, I will lose what little respect I have left.

0:20:180:20:22

-Shhh...

-PHONE RINGS

0:20:240:20:27

-I should go.

-Pakistan.

0:20:310:20:34

Oh.

0:20:350:20:36

I'll call them back. Tell I've cancelled the interview.

0:20:360:20:39

-But your job...

-There'll be others.

0:20:390:20:41

I don't feel comfortable leaving you with all this going on.

0:20:410:20:44

I could stay.

0:20:440:20:46

We could face people together, Zainab.

0:20:470:20:50

I can make sure these rumours don't get out of hand.

0:20:500:20:52

Keep Amira away from Syed.

0:20:520:20:54

It's up to you, of course.

0:20:540:20:56

Tell me what you want, and I'll do it.

0:20:560:20:59

I don't know.

0:21:060:21:07

I can't ask...

0:21:100:21:12

Do you want me to stay, Zainab?

0:21:130:21:15

It might feel a bit cold when it first goes in, yeah?

0:21:300:21:34

-You made it then?

-Siobhan.

0:21:350:21:38

Today is your lucky day, I ain't snuffed it yet.

0:21:380:21:41

-We'll never get rid of you now, will we?

-I'm a size zero now, Sammy. Tasty, ain't he?

0:21:410:21:45

-If I had hair, eh...

-You wouldn't be any more beautiful.

0:21:450:21:49

You said you weren't a patient.

0:21:490:21:52

Yeah, well. I don't like to brag about it.

0:21:520:21:55

Right.

0:21:590:22:00

Are you ready, Tanya?

0:22:010:22:03

Mum?

0:22:030:22:04

Come on, it's the least you can do. I've had the day from hell.

0:22:160:22:19

Look at my face, it needs cheering up.

0:22:190:22:21

Sy is not in the mood for a flat-warming. He'll never agree.

0:22:210:22:24

Make it a surprise, then you don't have to tell him.

0:22:240:22:27

And who'll get it in the neck from Zainab for the noise and drinking?

0:22:270:22:30

D'you know what, old Mother Hubbard really needs...

0:22:300:22:34

-to chill out.

-All right, Doc?

0:22:340:22:36

Don't suppose you've got a cure for foot in mouth?

0:22:360:22:39

She's right. A party might be just what Syed needs. Zainab wouldn't want him to miss out.

0:22:390:22:44

There you are! You heard the man!

0:22:440:22:46

Come on!

0:22:470:22:49

Don't eat all the spring rolls, Hev. How many more times?!

0:22:520:22:56

We could have DVD nights round my new place.

0:22:560:23:00

Do you want that one?

0:23:000:23:01

Come on, Hev, move back in. The place ain't the same without you.

0:23:010:23:05

-Richard Gere gives her an appetite.

-I love a man in a suit.

0:23:050:23:08

KNOCKING

0:23:080:23:11

It ain't Phil. You promised me he wouldn't be here.

0:23:110:23:14

-He'd use his key.

-What if he's lost it?

0:23:140:23:17

-You all right?

-Yeah, I'm fine. She was a laugh, wasn't she?

0:23:240:23:28

Siobhan. She's my new text buddy.

0:23:280:23:31

Oooh! Lauren! Lauren!

0:23:310:23:34

Guess what? I called the playgroup.

0:23:340:23:36

-Yeah, and?

-And...

0:23:360:23:38

-The R&R sound system?

-Yes, you know, speakers, mics, the lot. It's for a special occasion.

0:23:380:23:43

-No!

-Come on, Tuesdays are rubbish down the club anyway.

-Good point!

0:23:430:23:47

-Go on, Shirl.

-I want it back in mint condition.

-Get in!

0:23:470:23:51

-You won't regret this.

-I better not.

-Ben, I owe you one.

0:23:510:23:54

Hey, step away from the carbs! Greedy, greedy.

0:23:540:23:58

-So, screaming, puking rugrats.

-Yeah, I know, I love it.

0:24:000:24:04

I can't wait! I've got my induction tomorrow.

0:24:040:24:06

I don't even know what one is!

0:24:060:24:08

-Congratulations. How many days a week you doing?

-Just the one.

0:24:100:24:14

They don't mind the shoplifting, as long as I'm good with the kids.

0:24:140:24:17

-Only one day's work experience. It's a start though.

-Yeah, great!

0:24:170:24:21

Anyway, got to go. Going to see what I need to wear tomorrow!

0:24:210:24:25

-See you later.

-See you.

0:24:250:24:26

Right.

0:24:260:24:28

-Say cheese!

-OK, Butcher,

0:24:350:24:37

you can wipe that smile off your face.

0:24:370:24:40

You can't do anything till you've served me notice.

0:24:400:24:43

I've had legal advice, OK?

0:24:430:24:44

Come on, Janine. What you did was out of order.

0:24:440:24:47

-At least she deserves an apology.

-OK.

0:24:470:24:50

In which case... Stop, please, I have an announcement to make.

0:24:500:24:54

I, Janine Butcher, hereby give you, Roxanne Mitchell, notice that

0:24:540:25:00

as the owner of 29B Albert Square,

0:25:000:25:03

I'll be entering the premises every single day for the next two weeks

0:25:030:25:07

to try and restore this building to a habitable standard.

0:25:070:25:10

Every one of you, witnesses.

0:25:100:25:14

-Yeah. I might have known.

-What? Just enjoying the cabaret.

0:25:170:25:21

You know what you can do, don't you?!

0:25:210:25:23

Don't give them the satisfaction. Come on.

0:25:230:25:26

There aren't many people that live up to their reputations.

0:25:260:25:30

But if I had a cap, I'd be doffing it in your general direction.

0:25:300:25:34

I don't suppose you've got any plans for lunch?

0:25:340:25:37

I have, yeah.

0:25:370:25:38

Ian has an enormous saveloy with my name all over it.

0:25:380:25:43

Maybe some other time, eh?

0:25:430:25:45

Maybe. We'll see.

0:25:460:25:49

-It's a classic!

-I ain't watching it. You know I'm allergic to jazz hands.

0:25:530:25:57

Dad told you, didn't he?

0:26:050:26:07

What I told him.

0:26:070:26:09

He left a few things out.

0:26:090:26:12

Oh... No, he didn't do this. He didn't hit me or anything.

0:26:130:26:17

Do you think he'd still have his legs, if I thought he had?

0:26:170:26:20

He's a miserable git.

0:26:200:26:23

Still...

0:26:230:26:24

..he is who he is.

0:26:250:26:27

Just like you are.

0:26:280:26:29

And I wouldn't change nothing about the pair of you.

0:26:290:26:33

Come on. Must be going soft in my old age.

0:26:350:26:38

Nah, you're all right sometimes.

0:26:380:26:40

So are you.

0:26:420:26:43

In small doses.

0:26:450:26:47

Dr Khan?

0:27:080:27:09

Oh! I thought we were having pizza. What you been cooking up?

0:27:150:27:19

You know, opened a few tins, turned a few knobs.

0:27:190:27:22

A bit of cordon bleu?

0:27:220:27:24

Oh, darling.

0:27:270:27:28

Well, you used to make it for me when I was ill.

0:27:280:27:32

Now it's my turn.

0:27:320:27:34

Thank you.

0:27:360:27:37

-Where's Syed?

-All in good time.

-You said he'd be here.

0:27:410:27:44

I need to see him.

0:27:440:27:46

You can talk to me about the divorce.

0:27:460:27:47

-That's not why I came.

-Then we have nothing to say to...

-This isn't about me.

0:27:470:27:52

This is about her.

0:27:520:27:54

This is Yasmin.

0:28:040:28:05

Syed's daughter.

0:28:070:28:09

What else, mango chutney?

0:28:180:28:20

Mm-hm. Right, I've got to go.

0:28:200:28:22

The aching muscles of Walford won't heal themselves.

0:28:220:28:25

Ooh, that makes you sound like a doctor.

0:28:250:28:28

I like the idea of being married to a doctor.

0:28:280:28:31

You just like the idea of being married...

0:28:310:28:33

full stop.

0:28:330:28:34

-What and you don't?

-Bye, hubs.

0:28:340:28:37

-Sounds all right, I guess. See you, Rox.

-Bye.

0:28:370:28:40

I actually thought he was never going to leave.

0:28:420:28:45

And I thought I'd have to watch you play doctors and nurses.

0:28:450:28:47

Yeah, well you'd have liked that. Right... Where were we?

0:28:470:28:51

My favourite bit - booze.

0:28:510:28:53

You are going to behave tonight, aren't you?

0:28:530:28:55

Oh, come on, I need cheering up after Cruella de Janine's...

0:28:550:29:00

evil plot to make me homeless.

0:29:000:29:03

Don't worry, I've got your back. And if you go missing and I see her

0:29:030:29:07

wandering around in a yellow-haired coat, I'll call the RSPCA...

0:29:070:29:10

Paws up!

0:29:100:29:13

Amira, it's Doctor Khan.

0:29:130:29:15

I can't stress enough the importance of keeping your daughter's existence hidden from the Masoods.

0:29:150:29:21

I'd hate for them to come between you and your child.

0:29:210:29:24

You know that family would smother her.

0:29:240:29:27

-Do I look all right?

-Yes, yes, apart from these.

0:29:270:29:30

You might stand less chance ending up in A&E.

0:29:300:29:34

Do you think the kids are going to like me?

0:29:340:29:37

Yes, of course. If I was one-and-a-half, I'd love you too.

0:29:370:29:41

Oh, thanks... Shut up.

0:29:410:29:42

-Listen, good luck, yeah?

-Thanks.

0:29:420:29:45

Listen, I'll pop round after the induction thingy, you know I mean. It's only going to take a few hours.

0:29:450:29:50

All right, cool.

0:29:500:29:51

Do you know what, this is the start of something new.

0:29:510:29:54

I can feel it. I can. Right, I'll see you later.

0:29:540:29:59

See you later.

0:29:590:30:00

-Was that Whitney?

-Mum, you look awful.

0:30:050:30:09

Thanks. I wasn't going to go on the pull, was I?

0:30:090:30:11

I just got a text from Siobhan. I thought I might give her a ring.

0:30:110:30:15

Can't you just do that another time?

0:30:150:30:17

You're meant to rest after treatment.

0:30:170:30:20

-Yes, Miss.

-I'll bring you up a cup of tea, yeah?

0:30:220:30:27

Yusef. Don't suppose you've heard from Qadim?

0:30:280:30:31

If I had, yours would be the first number I'd ring. I promise.

0:30:310:30:34

-It's just all I can think about.

-Maybe you shouldn't pin everything on this.

0:30:340:30:38

-How do you mean?

-Well, isn't happiness the most important part in your relationship?

0:30:380:30:42

-You've changed your tune.

-I'm just trying to be realistic.

0:30:420:30:46

And I'd hate to think your obsession with getting a divorce could colour what you already have.

0:30:460:30:51

-No Zainab today?

-No.

0:30:560:30:59

Flirty Floozy?

0:31:070:31:09

-I beg your pardon.

-That lipstick - "Flirty Floozy". It's mine.

0:31:090:31:12

How many times have I told you not to leave your things dotted around the place.

0:31:120:31:16

You look lovely, Dorothy.

0:31:160:31:19

Thank you ever so much, Cora.

0:31:190:31:21

Mrs B! You're looking sharp.

0:31:210:31:23

Loving the hair, the earrings and I'm feeling those garms!

0:31:230:31:27

Is that what passes for a compliment these days?

0:31:270:31:30

Absolutely, straight up and down. So, you going anywhere nice?

0:31:300:31:34

Only to the launderette cos of Heather wanting to change her shift, I don't know why.

0:31:340:31:41

Sometimes I don't know whether I'm coming or going.

0:31:410:31:44

Where's me...?

0:31:440:31:46

-You seem a little fraught.

-No.

0:31:590:32:02

Last night I was fraught but now I'm calm.

0:32:020:32:06

I've had a chance to think things through clearly.

0:32:060:32:10

Meaning?

0:32:100:32:11

Meaning I shouldn't have said what I did.

0:32:130:32:16

Why so cold all of a sudden?

0:32:190:32:21

I was up all night thinking things through.

0:32:230:32:29

There can be absolutely nothing between us.

0:32:290:32:31

Tamwar and Afia should be our priority.

0:32:310:32:35

I don't want to see them condemned them like that.

0:32:350:32:37

But what if you came with me when I have my interview...to Karachi?

0:32:370:32:41

I thought you'd cancelled it?

0:32:430:32:45

Not yet.

0:32:450:32:47

Still could. Or we could both go.

0:32:470:32:51

No-one would know either of us.

0:32:540:32:57

Just imagine that. No twitching curtains, no need to worry about how it would look for Tamwar and Afia.

0:32:570:33:02

Just the chance to enjoy ourselves, to be happy, Zainab.

0:33:020:33:06

When was the last time you could say that?

0:33:060:33:08

I would have my interview. You could relax, see how it feels.

0:33:090:33:14

See how it feels?

0:33:150:33:17

You mean if I wanted to stay?

0:33:190:33:21

Why not? It's a beautiful country.

0:33:210:33:24

People would respect you there in a way you've never been respected here.

0:33:240:33:28

I just...

0:33:280:33:29

I can't just leave my children.

0:33:290:33:32

Shabnam's in Pakistan anyway and I hate to break it to you,

0:33:320:33:35

but Tamwar and Syed aren't children any more.

0:33:350:33:37

Besides, Kamil could come with us and we could afford the best education, a big house...

0:33:370:33:42

Just stop it, all right? Just stop what you're doing.

0:33:420:33:47

What?

0:33:470:33:49

-What?!

-You sound like a tourist brochure, OK?

0:33:490:33:52

I am not a gullible customer, I am a person, Yusef.

0:33:520:33:55

That is the end of that.

0:33:550:33:57

You're an impossible woman! An emotional mess.

0:33:570:34:00

I try and be honest, to listen to you and you throw it all back in my face.

0:34:000:34:06

Please...go.

0:34:090:34:11

Heather?

0:34:240:34:25

Heather? I've got us some special biscuits.

0:34:270:34:30

Oh, no. Where's she gone?

0:34:330:34:37

-It's definitely not her birthday.

-Anniversary?

0:34:550:34:59

When did her and Jimbo get hitched?

0:34:590:35:01

-February.

-I don't know then, man.

0:35:030:35:07

-50 years!

-Listen, no offence to Mrs B, but I think she's a little bit...

0:35:110:35:15

No, she's been working at the launderette for 50 years.

0:35:150:35:18

-She said something about it last month. Today must be the anniversary.

-Whoa, that is heavy.

0:35:180:35:23

I didn't even know they had washing machines back then.

0:35:230:35:26

So what did her boss get her?

0:35:260:35:29

Nothing.

0:35:330:35:34

What do you mean, nothing? Nothing as in nada, as in zilch, as in a big fat zero?

0:35:340:35:40

She was looking all nice and fresh this morning. This is a job for Fatboy and friends.

0:35:400:35:44

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-All right. Come on then.

0:35:440:35:48

Targets, bruv, that is the key. Last week was good,

0:35:480:35:51

but we are not some sailing boat coasting along, reliant on the next puff of wind.

0:35:510:35:56

No, we are a turbo-charged speed boat,

0:35:560:35:59

we gun the engine, we see the returns...

0:35:590:36:03

All right?

0:36:030:36:05

All right.

0:36:050:36:06

-Where you off to?

-Playgroup.

-I'll play with you if you're bored?

0:36:060:36:11

Got better things to do than play, Tyler.

0:36:110:36:14

Oi, come on. Work to do. Stick that in that box.

0:36:170:36:21

-She still not well then, your friend, Mrs Masood?

-Excuse me?

0:36:210:36:25

Lovely woman. Such a shock.

0:36:250:36:28

It makes you wonder though, doesn't it?

0:36:280:36:30

I'll pass on your concern, shall I, next time I see her?

0:36:300:36:35

Shall I send in the next patient?

0:36:350:36:37

Wait. Just give me a minute.

0:36:370:36:39

It's Yusef Khan. Salam alaikum.

0:36:410:36:43

He dragged me down here. It better be good.

0:36:500:36:53

I'm missing Diagnosis Murder for this.

0:36:530:36:56

Right, check this, yeah?

0:36:560:36:58

I find out that Mrs B has been nose to the grind stone for a good 50 years.

0:36:580:37:02

And I think I can speak on behalf of all of us when I say that is heavy, yeah?

0:37:020:37:07

So here I am, DJ Fatboy Fats sending the shout out for the biggest and best mix and blend. You getting me?

0:37:070:37:14

-You feeling me, ladies?

-What's he on about?

0:37:140:37:16

-I don't know, but I like it.

-Ladies, man's got a plan!

0:37:160:37:21

-I hope you know how all of this goes together?

-No. Why would I?

0:37:210:37:24

Because you used to be a DJ?

0:37:240:37:26

And you are supposed to be a bloke.

0:37:260:37:28

You're butch enough for both of us.

0:37:280:37:30

-And you're gay enough for both of us.

-Do we know any real men then?

0:37:300:37:33

If we did, I wouldn't be stood here single, would I?

0:37:330:37:37

Call Fat Boy.

0:37:370:37:40

Good idea.

0:37:400:37:41

Do you have to do that here?

0:37:460:37:48

MUSICAL RING TONE PLAYS

0:37:480:37:50

Yes, bruv? What's going on?

0:37:540:37:58

What, a party?

0:37:580:38:00

It's all popping off tonight, man. Yeah, but I can't,

0:38:000:38:03

I'm busy, all right? I'll give you a bell later, innit.

0:38:030:38:06

All right, bruv, peace.

0:38:060:38:09

Bit moody, ain't he?

0:38:090:38:11

I think there's something's going on between him and Mrs Masood.

0:38:110:38:15

Imagine washing smalls for 50 years.

0:38:180:38:21

Enough to put you off men for life.

0:38:210:38:24

Dorothy, she gets a kick out of it,

0:38:240:38:28

erasing life's little stains.

0:38:280:38:31

Me, I like creating 'em.

0:38:310:38:34

Can I help?

0:38:360:38:38

Is Mr Khan in? It's a personal matter.

0:38:380:38:41

Is that right?

0:38:410:38:42

Bushra, thought I heard you. Come in.

0:38:420:38:44

When you mentioned Zainab, I felt I had to drop everything.

0:38:440:38:48

Thank you, Rose.

0:38:490:38:51

They're brown bread! You just got them!

0:39:010:39:03

Someone forgot to feed them.

0:39:030:39:04

They're not my fish!

0:39:040:39:05

It's like a symbol for you and Whitney,

0:39:050:39:07

the fact your love was...

0:39:070:39:09

-cut tragically short(!)

-Aw, still having no luck?

0:39:090:39:11

He's tried it all.

0:39:110:39:12

Even strung two sentences together - closest you've been

0:39:120:39:15

to a long-term relationship.

0:39:150:39:17

Just cos I don't practise in front of a mirror

0:39:170:39:19

-before I talk to a girl.

-Lads, lads!

0:39:190:39:21

Come on, gather round. Come on, come here.

0:39:210:39:24

Come on, I need a circle of trust

0:39:240:39:26

before I dispense with my precious pearls, all right?

0:39:260:39:29

I'll say this, only once!

0:39:290:39:30

OK? I'm about to give you the Alfie Moon guide

0:39:300:39:32

to getting the girls.

0:39:320:39:34

THEY LAUGH What?!

0:39:340:39:36

No, no, hear me out.

0:39:360:39:37

I'll show you how to get the key to her heart,

0:39:370:39:39

-the magic ingredient to sealing the date. The piece of resistance!

-He ain't got a clue.

0:39:390:39:43

No, it's very simple. You fall over.

0:39:430:39:45

-What?!

-That's all you need.

0:39:450:39:47

-Do something daft, it endears them, they'll want to mother you.

-Mother who?

0:39:470:39:50

This is where you hide when there's a beer delivery?

0:39:500:39:53

Hello, love of my life, helping Tyler with a conundrum -

0:39:530:39:56

why the beautiful Whitney Dean is refusing his charms?

0:39:560:39:59

You mean, why hasn't she jumped into bed yet?

0:39:590:40:01

Wahey!

0:40:010:40:03

It's her loss. Look, I don't chase women. End of.

0:40:030:40:06

Cos moping around's more dignified.

0:40:060:40:08

Right, want my advice?

0:40:080:40:10

-Whatever Alfie tells you...

-Yeah?

0:40:100:40:11

-..do the opposite.

-Oi!

-Beer delivery...now!

0:40:110:40:14

On my way, darling.

0:40:140:40:15

Don't listen to her. Trust me, lads, you can't go wrong.

0:40:150:40:18

Always works. I'm watching you. Later.

0:40:180:40:20

Sometimes, I just wish the law had never been passed.

0:40:220:40:25

That sounds terrible, I know, but it just gets so complicated.

0:40:250:40:29

You know what I mean? Choice.

0:40:290:40:31

The option's available and if you don't do it,

0:40:310:40:33

it's like you've chosen not to,

0:40:330:40:35

whereas before,

0:40:350:40:37

not doing it didn't mean anything.

0:40:370:40:39

I am committed, no question,

0:40:390:40:41

but...do we really need to get married to prove it?

0:40:410:40:45

-Janine!

-Hmmm?

0:40:460:40:48

Sorted out the sound system yet, bruv?

0:40:480:40:51

-What?

-The rave at yours, man.

0:40:510:40:54

It's going to be banging!

0:40:540:40:55

What rave?

0:40:560:40:58

HE MOUTHS

0:41:000:41:01

Bushra!

0:41:060:41:07

Zainab.

0:41:070:41:08

As-salaam alaikum.

0:41:080:41:10

Wa alaikum salaam.

0:41:100:41:11

I was in the area, so I thought it would be a good chance to catch up.

0:41:110:41:15

You've gone awfully quiet on us, recently.

0:41:150:41:17

-Have I?

-Bumped into Yusef.

0:41:170:41:20

Did you?

0:41:200:41:21

He didn't say anything,

0:41:210:41:23

but you know how intuitive I am.

0:41:230:41:26

When he mentioned you'd been at the hospital, well...

0:41:260:41:29

I put two and two together.

0:41:290:41:31

I feel terrible, Zainab.

0:41:310:41:33

You're such a dear friend.

0:41:330:41:35

I should have known you were falling apart.

0:41:350:41:38

-Party?

-So? D'you wanna go?

0:41:420:41:46

-With you?

-If you're going to be all school disco about it, don't bother.

0:41:480:41:52

Yeah, that's funny! All right, I will. Yeah.

0:41:520:41:55

Aye, aye.

0:41:580:42:00

ANTHONY LAUGHS

0:42:000:42:01

-Taking Alfie's advice, are we?

-Yeah.

0:42:010:42:03

(Oh!)

0:42:030:42:05

You all right?

0:42:090:42:10

Listen, about my brother.

0:42:150:42:17

He really likes you.

0:42:170:42:19

-If you knew him, that's a first.

-So, I'm meant to be flattered?

0:42:190:42:22

You can make out like you're not bothered.

0:42:220:42:24

Or pop your head round and say hello.

0:42:240:42:26

It's not hard, is it?

0:42:260:42:28

It's only one word.

0:42:280:42:30

OK, so Hev reckons

0:42:340:42:36

that she can delay Mrs B for about 20 minutes max,

0:42:360:42:39

so we've got to get moving, people.

0:42:390:42:41

Can't we have a little sherry to get us going?

0:42:410:42:43

A party in a laundrette - my life has peaked(!)

0:42:430:42:47

No, no, ladies! We've got to keep it moving, all right?

0:42:470:42:49

So, can you sort out the nibbles, and the food and stuff?

0:42:490:42:52

And can you sort out the bar?

0:42:520:42:54

I'm going to sort out the tunes.

0:42:540:42:55

You see, we are going to smash the competition.

0:42:580:43:00

What competition?

0:43:000:43:02

Christian and Roxy have got a rival party planned.

0:43:020:43:05

But they're not celebrating 50 years

0:43:050:43:07

working in a laundrette, are they?

0:43:070:43:09

Junk, junk, and more junk.

0:43:110:43:14

No wonder his daughter was so keen to off-load it.

0:43:140:43:16

We'd have to pay people to take that.

0:43:160:43:18

Don't know what you mean. Whoo!

0:43:180:43:20

Don't. Get it off!

0:43:200:43:22

It's probably got fleas or something, stop it!

0:43:220:43:24

TYLER LAUGHS

0:43:240:43:25

Atchoo! See?

0:43:250:43:27

Something funny?

0:43:270:43:28

Yeah. Just this freak of a bear.

0:43:280:43:31

Aw, I think it's really sweet.

0:43:310:43:33

Your childhood must have been seriously disturbed

0:43:330:43:36

if you think this is sweet.

0:43:360:43:37

What?

0:43:400:43:41

I've got feelings but you wouldn't get that.

0:43:410:43:43

Why, cos I'm shallow?

0:43:430:43:46

-Seen puddles deeper.

-I like to have a good time.

0:43:460:43:48

Why's that wrong? You should try it.

0:43:480:43:50

-I do, plenty.

-Yeah?

0:43:500:43:52

How come I've never seen it?

0:43:520:43:53

Maybe you're not as funny as you think.

0:43:530:43:55

-How much is this?

-Usually, 30,

0:43:550:43:57

but...seeing as you're the best looking woman

0:43:570:44:00

to come in here all day,

0:44:000:44:02

I could probably find it in my heart to do a special price.

0:44:020:44:06

Sorry, I didn't realise you had a visitor.

0:44:110:44:13

(Hi.)

0:44:130:44:14

It's fine. The more the merrier.

0:44:140:44:16

In fact, we should make this a regular thing.

0:44:160:44:19

Now that Masood and I are separated...

0:44:190:44:22

Divorced.

0:44:220:44:23

..I find that I'll have a lot of time on my hands.

0:44:230:44:27

Maybe I could get involved at the mosque again.

0:44:270:44:29

If you're up to it that would be wonderful,

0:44:290:44:31

although I'm sure no-one expects anything of you.

0:44:310:44:35

-I think I'd enjoy it.

-Of course you would.

0:44:350:44:38

But remember what they can be like at mosque - so cliquey.

0:44:380:44:41

And you haven't been for quite some time now, have you?

0:44:410:44:44

I'm sure I would get back into the swing of things.

0:44:440:44:46

And knowing that you're there, Bushra, fighting my corner.

0:44:460:44:51

Naturally.

0:44:510:44:52

Although, I should probably warn you...

0:44:520:44:54

the fact that you two have become so close

0:44:540:44:56

hasn't gone unnoticed in certain circles.

0:44:560:44:59

What? Which circles?

0:45:010:45:03

I really couldn't break any confidences.

0:45:030:45:06

Who's been saying what, Bushra, exactly?

0:45:060:45:08

I don't understand how they could think that cos it's not true,

0:45:080:45:11

it's really not true...

0:45:110:45:13

It's not any of their business.

0:45:130:45:15

I'm sorry, but they are nothing but the idle assumptions

0:45:150:45:18

of malicious, ignorant minds.

0:45:180:45:20

I quite agree. I didn't mean to offend anyone.

0:45:230:45:25

Well...I'll leave you two to it.

0:45:280:45:30

Lovely to see you, Bushra.

0:45:320:45:34

Yusef.

0:45:350:45:36

-Where is she?

-I'm getting cramp down here!

0:45:470:45:50

Hev said they were round the corner.

0:45:500:45:52

-Hey! Whose hand is that?

-Sorry.

0:45:520:45:54

-Control yourself, Rose.

-Shhh, think I can hear something.

0:45:540:45:57

..that couldn't wait is beyond me, Heather Trott.

0:45:570:46:01

ALL SHOUT: Surprise!

0:46:010:46:04

Oh, my God!

0:46:040:46:06

You nearly give me a heart attack!

0:46:060:46:08

-Happy 50 years of working here, Mrs B.

-Oh, 50?

0:46:080:46:12

Is it 50? I wouldn't have known. What a lot of fuss and bother.

0:46:120:46:16

Oi, please! I want to celebrate the first day of work experience.

0:46:160:46:20

And I promised Fats that I'd save him from Dot's sister.

0:46:200:46:24

I'm not really in the mood, Whitney...

0:46:240:46:26

-Why?

-She says yes.

0:46:260:46:28

-What?!

-Well, I didn't raise my daughter

0:46:280:46:30

to be a stick-in-the-mud.

0:46:300:46:33

It certainly isn't in the cross genes. So, go, please.

0:46:330:46:35

Have fun. That's an order.

0:46:350:46:37

Ha!

0:46:370:46:38

Come on!

0:46:430:46:44

All right, come on. Who, em...

0:46:530:46:55

Who wants a Roxy Reveller? Yes, come on!

0:46:550:46:58

Told you - no decent party ever starts this early.

0:46:590:47:03

We'll just have to make our own fun.

0:47:030:47:06

Look, our first bit of bait.

0:47:060:47:08

Who invited you?

0:47:080:47:09

-Syed. You know, the person who lives here.

-Wait.

0:47:090:47:12

Syed knows about the party?

0:47:120:47:14

-Hey!

-Surprise!

0:47:140:47:16

THEY LAUGH NERVOUSLY

0:47:160:47:18

Can I have a word?

0:47:180:47:19

-What's wrong?

-A party?

-Yeah.

0:47:280:47:30

Engagement-cum-flat warming. For you!

0:47:300:47:33

-For us.

-Don't pretend you're doing this for me. You're doing this to wind up my mum.

0:47:350:47:39

-This is your petty way of getting back at her.

-With what?

0:47:390:47:42

-A party!

-Back up a minute.

0:47:420:47:43

What can you hear?

0:47:450:47:46

Hm?

0:47:470:47:48

Why's there no music?

0:47:480:47:50

This isn't my way of getting back at your mum.

0:47:500:47:52

I just want us to celebrate being together.

0:47:540:47:56

Is that so bad?

0:47:580:47:59

D'you know what?

0:48:020:48:03

Come on, everyone. It's supposed to be a party, isn't it?

0:48:070:48:10

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

0:48:100:48:12

You know me, I'm always there for my friends.

0:48:120:48:16

Your son sleeps through this noise, does he?

0:48:160:48:19

He's with Masood right now.

0:48:190:48:20

Of course.

0:48:200:48:22

Poor child.

0:48:220:48:24

They're always the collateral when a marriage breaks down.

0:48:240:48:27

Kamil's a very happy, little boy, actually.

0:48:270:48:29

Now maybe, but just you wait.

0:48:290:48:32

I wouldn't be surprised if he turned out like the other one.

0:48:320:48:35

MUSIC PLAYS Oh, no, no, thank you.

0:48:380:48:41

What? Your mum was so right. Look, even your nan's more fun!

0:48:410:48:45

Fine.

0:48:450:48:47

Good.

0:48:470:48:48

Right, listen. I want to talk to you about Tyler?

0:48:480:48:51

Oh, my goodness!

0:48:510:48:52

You've got to save me from the blue-rinse crew, man.

0:48:520:48:55

Like vampires - draining my youth!

0:48:550:48:56

So, what's the deal for real, ladies?

0:48:560:49:00

Was just telling Lauren, Tyler's a skank.

0:49:000:49:02

The way he thinks he can get any girl

0:49:020:49:04

and they'll fall at his feet.

0:49:040:49:05

So what, you really don't like him then?

0:49:050:49:07

Give me some credit! What about you and that...

0:49:070:49:10

What's her name?

0:49:100:49:12

Faith...Olubunmi?

0:49:120:49:13

We're just kinda seeing how it goes, you know?

0:49:130:49:16

But you could do so much better.

0:49:160:49:18

-You think?

-Yeah.

0:49:180:49:19

What is this music about?! Sorry.

0:49:190:49:22

Arthur.

0:49:240:49:25

It's a good job Mr Hoppa Poppa ain't here.

0:49:250:49:28

I'd be getting my P45.

0:49:280:49:32

Don't worry about him. As long as you're having a good time, Mrs B.

0:49:320:49:35

A good job your young friends are here.

0:49:350:49:37

Can I ask you a question, Arthur?

0:49:370:49:40

Yeah.

0:49:400:49:41

If you are so keen on Whitney,

0:49:410:49:44

why are you courting that other girl?

0:49:440:49:47

-What do you think of the old place?

-Lovely.

0:49:480:49:50

-Scrubs up pretty well, eh?

-Yeah.

0:49:500:49:52

If you like middle-of-the-road.

0:49:520:49:55

Do you know, I actually feel quite sorry for you two.

0:49:560:49:59

Got no real friends of your own,

0:49:590:50:00

so you gate-crash a party where nobody likes you.

0:50:000:50:03

Right, she must have used both of her brain cells for that one.

0:50:030:50:07

Go easy, Janine.

0:50:070:50:09

You're right, like taking candy from a baby.

0:50:090:50:12

What's she ever done to you? Or maybe...fitter than you?

0:50:120:50:15

Fitter?

0:50:150:50:16

-SHE LAUGHS

-Good one.

0:50:160:50:18

He's kidding.

0:50:180:50:21

Yeah, cos he's a right laugh that way, Janine. A right laugh.

0:50:210:50:25

I'm knackered, can't we just go home?

0:50:250:50:27

Ten minutes at your brother's engagement party is a bit insulting.

0:50:270:50:31

Five more, however and we're bordering on acceptable.

0:50:310:50:34

Not leaving already, are you?

0:50:340:50:36

Ah, no, no.

0:50:360:50:38

You seen Syed?

0:50:380:50:40

Ladies and gentleman, your attention, please!

0:50:420:50:45

To commemorate 50 years of service, Mrs Branning.

0:50:450:50:48

-Cheers!

-ALL: Cheers!

0:50:480:50:50

ARTHUR: Whoo! Whoo-hoo!

0:50:500:50:53

Oh!

0:50:540:50:55

Oh, I say!

0:50:550:50:58

And that's not all.

0:50:590:51:02

Heather, Arthur and I...

0:51:020:51:03

-And me.

-..and Cora, of course,

0:51:030:51:05

have clubbed together to get you a little something.

0:51:050:51:09

Travel ticket confirmation.

0:51:110:51:13

Oh! 'Ere.

0:51:130:51:15

A trip to Ireland!

0:51:170:51:19

Ireland is right up your street, Mrs B.

0:51:190:51:21

All those churches -

0:51:210:51:22

it'll be like going on tour with the big man himself.

0:51:220:51:25

I don't live in a church, Arthur!

0:51:250:51:27

DOT LAUGHS Thank you ever so much, all of you.

0:51:270:51:30

Rose, you better get packing.

0:51:300:51:31

What?

0:51:310:51:32

It's a trip for two. Got to keep an eye on you,

0:51:320:51:35

keep you out of trouble.

0:51:350:51:37

What you doing?

0:51:430:51:44

Phoning a solicitor.

0:51:440:51:47

I'm fed up of having my life dictated by other people.

0:51:470:51:50

I just want this divorce over as soon as possible.

0:51:500:51:53

Are you sure?

0:51:530:51:55

I can't always live my life trying to please everyone else.

0:51:550:51:58

It's what I want.

0:51:580:52:00

What we want.

0:52:000:52:02

So yeah, I'm sure.

0:52:030:52:05

What did they say?

0:52:050:52:06

They're closed.

0:52:080:52:10

So much for the big romantic gesture.

0:52:110:52:15

Don't worry about it. I love you anyway.

0:52:150:52:17

Me too.

0:52:190:52:20

Come here.

0:52:200:52:22

No. You come here!

0:52:220:52:24

-CHRISTIAN LAUGHS

-What will the neighbours say?

0:52:240:52:28

Sorry to ask you to leave, but my head's really banging now.

0:52:280:52:32

It'll be the stress.

0:52:320:52:33

As well as coping with that racket on top of everything else.

0:52:330:52:37

It's making a mess of a neighbourhood like this, mind you.

0:52:370:52:39

Honestly...

0:52:390:52:41

Syed Masood!

0:52:410:52:42

This is something else!

0:52:420:52:44

Behaviour like this is completely disgusting!

0:52:440:52:48

You knew he was living next door, didn't you?

0:52:480:52:50

Dear God, Zainab!

0:52:500:52:53

First, divorce.

0:52:530:52:54

Then, attempted suicide.

0:52:540:52:55

And now you let your gay son shack up next door?!

0:52:550:52:59

You watch your mouth!

0:52:590:53:01

Doesn't he make you sick?

0:53:030:53:04

Aah!

0:53:080:53:09

I'm your friend!

0:53:120:53:14

No, you're not! You came here today to enjoy my misery,

0:53:140:53:18

and that isn't friendship!

0:53:180:53:19

And my son...

0:53:200:53:23

my son is not the sick one, Bushra Abbasi,

0:53:230:53:26

you are!

0:53:260:53:27

Now get out of my sight!

0:53:270:53:29

I will make sure everyone knows about this.

0:53:290:53:31

Everyone!

0:53:310:53:32

ROXY APPLAUDS

0:53:500:53:52

ROXY: Go on, Zainab! Go on!

0:53:520:53:54

Yusef, what are we doing? I can't...

0:55:080:55:11

It's OK... you're practically divorced.

0:55:110:55:15

You can finally listen to your heart.

0:55:150:55:17

PHONE RINGS

0:55:200:55:23

You're in no state to talk.

0:55:250:55:27

Go and freshen up,

0:55:270:55:29

I'll get this.

0:55:290:55:30

Hello?

0:55:380:55:40

You're in Walford? Why?

0:55:420:55:45

No, I told you.

0:55:450:55:47

Besides, Syed's not here, you're wasting your time.

0:55:470:55:51

Doctor Khan?

0:55:560:55:57

I knew something was going on with Mrs Masood.

0:56:020:56:04

I've got a sixth sense about these things.

0:56:040:56:06

It's called ears.

0:56:060:56:08

I'm in shock.

0:56:080:56:09

I'm actually on Zainab's side for once. It feels wrong.

0:56:090:56:13

But it...

0:56:130:56:15

It's a bit like when Darth Vader takes off the mask!

0:56:150:56:18

Stop it, all right. I can't.

0:56:180:56:21

I need to go and talk to Sy, he looks upset.

0:56:210:56:24

Excuse me.

0:56:260:56:28

Oi! Hello, you two. Long time no see.

0:56:280:56:30

Saw you yesterday.

0:56:300:56:31

-Did you? I noticed the chippy was shut. Where you been?

-To the dogs.

0:56:310:56:35

Oh, don't be so hard on yourself, love.

0:56:350:56:37

Oi! It's not like you to close up the shop and go on a jolly, is it?

0:56:370:56:40

Well, you know what they say - all work and no play...

0:56:400:56:43

So, did you have a big win?

0:56:430:56:45

No, but losing someone else's money doesn't have quite the same sting.

0:56:450:56:49

-It's only money, innit.

-Are my ears working?

0:56:490:56:51

-Are we going to have that drink, or what?

-Yeah.

0:56:510:56:54

I've got a idea. Why don't we go and hang out, yeah?

0:56:540:56:56

"Hang out"? Look at you, getting all down with the kids.

0:56:560:57:00

-I'm up for it if you are?

-I'm good enough for you now, am I?

0:57:000:57:03

Oh, come on, let's go.

0:57:030:57:05

-You all right, Carol?

-Yeah. You all right?

0:57:090:57:12

-You're looking nice.

-Oh, cheers. How's your brother?

0:57:120:57:16

Yeah, he's all right. Over the worst of it.

0:57:160:57:18

Good.

0:57:180:57:20

Meeting someone?

0:57:200:57:21

No. No.

0:57:210:57:23

-Pity Dad's in Spain then, eh?

-Oh, right, is he on holiday?

0:57:230:57:27

Well, not really, it's more of a permanent thing, he reckons...

0:57:270:57:31

but you never know with my old man, do you?

0:57:310:57:33

-Nice to see you.

-Yeah.

0:57:340:57:37

Come on, what's up with your face then?

0:57:400:57:44

-Where is everyone?

-You mean "Where's Whitney?" don't you?

-No.

0:57:440:57:47

-I mean everyone - it's dead.

-Probably at that party.

0:57:470:57:50

-Party?

-At Christian and Syed's.

0:57:500:57:52

What? There's a party that I don't know about?

0:57:520:57:55

Didn't get invited, did you?

0:57:550:57:58

Mate, I'm in love.

0:57:580:57:59

Excuse me. Do you know Syed Masood?

0:57:590:58:02

-Yeah, funnily enough, we're just going to his party now.

-Oh.

0:58:030:58:08

You're shaking.

0:58:110:58:14

It's... It's just I wasn't expecting...

0:58:140:58:17

I know. I'm sorry.

0:58:180:58:20

Don't be.

0:58:200:58:22

Who was on the phone?

0:58:310:58:33

It was the imam.

0:58:350:58:37

What?

0:58:390:58:41

I didn't want to worry you.

0:58:410:58:43

-Bushra's called him already?

-He wasn't happy.

0:58:430:58:47

Well, I'll...

0:58:480:58:49

call him up, I'll explain...

0:58:490:58:51

You hit another woman in public.

0:58:510:58:53

How do you explain that?

0:58:530:58:56

I'll tell him what she's been saying to me all afternoon.

0:58:560:59:00

You know, that...

0:59:000:59:02

I'll... I'll make him understand.

0:59:020:59:05

Do you really think the imam will take your word over Bushra's?

0:59:050:59:10

-What do you mean?

-You heard her today...

0:59:100:59:12

you have no standing in the community any more.

0:59:120:59:14

You're a fallen woman.

0:59:140:59:17

Bushra was taking a risk even associating with you.

0:59:170:59:20

-How can you say that to me?

-It's not what I think,

0:59:200:59:24

but you have to be realistic.

0:59:240:59:26

There's nothing here for you but shame...

0:59:260:59:29

So what do I do?

0:59:310:59:32

-There's nothing you can do.

-Please don't say that.

0:59:320:59:35

There must be. There must be a way to make them understand,

0:59:350:59:39

to explain what I've been going through.

0:59:390:59:42

-Come with me now, tonight.

-What?

-To Karachi.

0:59:420:59:46

-Run away?

-No, just for a break,

0:59:460:59:48

let things blow over.

0:59:480:59:50

Besides, what other choice do you have?

0:59:500:59:53

Bushra could be calling the police right now.

0:59:530:59:56

-The police?!

-Assault.

0:59:560:59:57

There were plenty of witnesses.

0:59:570:59:59

-She'd have a good case.

-You're being silly.

1:00:001:00:04

She wouldn't go that far, would she?

1:00:041:00:06

Oh, Yusef...

1:00:081:00:09

I'll have a couple of doughnuts, please, Marie.

1:00:161:00:19

Kids'll kill me if I come home empty-handed.

1:00:191:00:22

You all right, Lauren?

1:00:221:00:23

Fine, why? Where you been, anyway?

1:00:231:00:26

I've been staying with Sonia.

1:00:261:00:28

-You all right? Have you been drinking?

-What?

1:00:291:00:32

-No, not really.

-"No, not really"? Is that code for getting lashed?

1:00:321:00:36

Look at you, it's not even six o'clock.

1:00:361:00:39

Right, and what happens when it's six o'clock?

1:00:391:00:41

D'you turn into something other than a moody cow?

1:00:411:00:44

You don't even know what week it is, do you?

1:00:461:00:49

Right then, enlighten us then, Carol...

1:00:491:00:51

what week is it?

1:00:511:00:53

It's a year since Billie died.

1:00:531:00:55

Don't expect you to remember, you were wasted that night, too.

1:00:551:00:59

Wait, Carol...

1:01:001:01:02

Hey, Kat, listen. I've got a plan, right?

1:01:041:01:07

To get Ian to see the light.

1:01:071:01:09

-What are you talking about?

-Mandy.

1:01:091:01:12

-I thought you liked her?

-Yeah, as a fling, she's all right,

1:01:121:01:14

but she's too attached to his wallet for my liking.

1:01:141:01:17

-Well, he don't seem to mind.

-That's cos the bloke is in denial, see?

1:01:171:01:22

They're called breasts.

1:01:221:01:25

-Have you got a plan?

-Yeah. It's called a honeytrap.

1:01:251:01:29

-I'm not coming on to Ian!

-I'm not talking about you, you dope!

1:01:291:01:32

I'm talking about me. I'll be the honeytrap for Mandy.

1:01:321:01:35

What are you looking...? You saying I'm not honeytrap material?

1:01:351:01:38

Well, it worked on me, didn't it?

1:01:381:01:41

CHATTER AND LOUD MUSIC

1:01:421:01:46

-What is wrong with you?

-Aren't you worried?

1:01:501:01:53

No. Everyone's happy cos Mum finally told Bushra

1:01:531:01:55

where to stick it. I am partying, OK?

1:01:551:01:57

-Did you see Mum?

-Yeah, I know.

1:01:571:02:00

-Amazing, wasn't it?

-Have you been drinking?

1:02:001:02:03

No.

1:02:031:02:05

No!

1:02:051:02:06

Hello, mate, you all right mate?

1:02:091:02:10

Thanks for coming, yeah? Appreciate it.

1:02:101:02:14

Sort yourselves out, yeah?

1:02:141:02:16

Oh, look at those young men.

1:02:161:02:20

They are so cute!

1:02:201:02:22

You want to watch that one.

1:02:221:02:23

He'll marry you and take all your money.

1:02:231:02:27

Suits me, darling.

1:02:271:02:29

-What happened to that girl?

-The goddess?

1:02:321:02:34

Yeah. Thought she was with us?

1:02:341:02:36

-No-one's here either.

-Would you just call her and ask her out?

1:02:361:02:40

-Who?

-You see? That is your problem, bruv.

1:02:401:02:42

-I don't have a problem.

-No?

-I don't!

1:02:421:02:44

All right, all right.

1:02:441:02:47

Ladies.

1:02:471:02:48

Hello, darling.

1:02:481:02:50

Right, everyone, listen!

1:02:501:02:52

I've got a little announcement to make. Roxy!

1:02:521:02:55

'Pipe down everyone. You especially, Tambo.'

1:02:551:02:59

'OK, look...'

1:03:031:03:05

some of you already know this, but we haven't made it official,

1:03:051:03:08

but the real reason for this party

1:03:081:03:10

is to celebrate the fact that Christian and I are getting married.

1:03:101:03:14

-ALL:

-Ahh.

1:03:141:03:17

Right now, I feel like the luckiest man on the planet.

1:03:171:03:21

ROXY RETCHES

1:03:221:03:25

What?

1:03:251:03:26

Amira, wait!

1:03:301:03:32

I'm sorry, it was thoughtless of me.

1:03:351:03:39

And I do remember, I just can't believe it's been a year.

1:03:391:03:43

You're telling me.

1:03:431:03:44

Well, how're you doing?

1:03:471:03:48

I was holding it together until Bianca called...

1:03:481:03:54

and that did it.

1:03:541:03:55

Does it get any easier?

1:03:581:03:59

I'll let you know.

1:04:011:04:02

Lauren? What's wrong?

1:04:061:04:09

It's just...

1:04:091:04:10

..it's been a bit of a rough week. It's nothing.

1:04:121:04:15

Don't look like nothing.

1:04:151:04:17

It's just, erm...

1:04:191:04:22

..Mum.

1:04:241:04:25

She's...

1:04:261:04:27

I dunno, she's just...

1:04:291:04:32

She's not doing very well.

1:04:321:04:34

Very well? What...?

1:04:341:04:36

Come on, you can tell me, Lauren.

1:04:361:04:39

No, it's ever since her and Greg split...

1:04:421:04:46

I'm just really worried about her.

1:04:461:04:48

Right, and that's why you've been drinking, is it?

1:04:481:04:52

Look, if you want to help your mum,

1:04:521:04:55

don't give her something else to worry about, right?

1:04:551:04:57

Lay off the booze, yeah?

1:04:571:04:59

I'm sorry.

1:05:071:05:08

You heard all that about me and Christian...

1:05:081:05:11

But I am glad you're here.

1:05:131:05:16

Are you?

1:05:161:05:17

Yeah.

1:05:171:05:19

We can sit down like adults and finally sort this out.

1:05:201:05:24

What do you mean?

1:05:241:05:26

Have you spoken to Doctor Khan?

1:05:261:05:28

The divorce. That's what all this is about, isn't it?

1:05:281:05:31

I'm not here about a divorce.

1:05:331:05:35

Well, then why...?

1:05:361:05:39

I'm here about our baby.

1:05:411:05:43

KNOCK ON DOOR

1:05:491:05:52

DOOR SLAMS

1:06:221:06:24

SHE LAUGHS

1:06:251:06:28

How is this even possible, Amira?

1:06:421:06:45

I know we were trying, but...

1:06:451:06:47

the test...the test was negative.

1:06:471:06:49

-No. That was Chelsea's.

-What?!

1:06:491:06:53

I'm really supposed to believe that?

1:06:531:06:55

Thanks for showing me such respect(!) That's your forte.

1:06:551:06:58

What do you expect? You turn up out of the blue, making wild claims,

1:06:581:07:02

I mean, where is it, this imaginary baby?

1:07:021:07:04

Here.

1:07:071:07:09

Go on, look.

1:07:111:07:13

-It's a baby. They all look like that.

-The eyes.

1:07:201:07:24

Look at her eyes.

1:07:241:07:26

You see it, don't you?

1:07:291:07:32

They're yours.

1:07:331:07:34

And I have to look at them every single day.

1:07:351:07:39

I'm her father?

1:07:421:07:44

Sy?

1:07:471:07:48

Christian, I'm a dad.

1:07:501:07:52

This was a mistake.

1:07:521:07:53

-You had a baby?

-Get back.

1:07:571:08:00

I want to see.

1:08:001:08:01

-Argh!

-Amira!

-What is the matter with you?

-Rox...

1:08:011:08:04

-Are you all right?

-Yeah, I'm fine.

-Get off me.

-Rox!

-You're a vicious cow.

1:08:041:08:08

-Rox! Just leave it, Roxy.

-Come on.

-Why'd you do that?

1:08:081:08:11

I told him to get back.

1:08:111:08:13

You see, this is the reason why you can't be involved in Yasmin's life.

1:08:131:08:16

-Yasmin? That's her name?

-Don't go getting any ideas.

1:08:161:08:19

I'm leaving. I've got a taxi coming.

1:08:191:08:21

No, no, no, look, I just want to talk to you.

1:08:211:08:23

No pressure, no anything. You and I sitting down for a civilised conversation.

1:08:231:08:28

-I'm sorry, I can't.

-No, I'm not letting you go.

1:08:281:08:30

Sorry, Amira, this is too big a bombshell for you to just drop and then walk out.

1:08:301:08:34

OK.

1:08:361:08:37

Great. Just...sit down and I'll get us some drinks.

1:08:371:08:41

I just need to go to the ladies.

1:08:431:08:45

-Better than Diagnosis Murder, eh, Cor?

-I'm waiting for the murder.

1:08:461:08:50

Now's your chance, Agent Moon.

1:08:581:09:00

OK, all right.

1:09:001:09:02

Go. Go, go.

1:09:021:09:03

All right, Mandy?

1:09:081:09:09

I'm glad I've got you on your own.

1:09:091:09:11

You got any nuts?

1:09:111:09:13

-Yeah. Salted or dry roasted?

-Definitely dry.

1:09:131:09:16

Over there.

1:09:161:09:17

-Another drink?

-Oh, please, yeah.

1:09:171:09:19

Well, I'm pleased for Ian. You know, having you on his arm...

1:09:271:09:30

he must feel like all his Christmases have come at once, eh?

1:09:301:09:34

So, er, you approve?

1:09:341:09:36

Yeah, of course I approve. Yeah, course, yeah.

1:09:361:09:38

Can't help feeling a bit of the pang of the old green-eyed monster.

1:09:391:09:45

-Yeah?

-Yeah, well you're a gorgeous-looking bird... girl...woman.

1:09:451:09:48

You know, a beautiful girl.

1:09:481:09:50

Yeah. Well, you got Kat, ain't you.

1:09:501:09:53

Yeah. Yeah, course.

1:09:531:09:54

Yeah, me and Kat are great, you know. We are great.

1:09:541:09:57

But, you know, doesn't stop you wondering though, eh?

1:09:591:10:02

-Well, it's only natural.

-Yeah.

1:10:021:10:05

Yeah, it is, you know, er...

1:10:051:10:07

Long as you don't do anything about it.

1:10:071:10:10

No, no, course not, no. But if you were to...

1:10:101:10:14

and no-one knew and no-one got hurt...

1:10:141:10:18

Are you flirting with me, Alfie?

1:10:191:10:22

No. No. But...

1:10:221:10:25

-would you like it if I was?

-Well...

1:10:251:10:27

Nice try,

1:10:311:10:33

but, well, this little shop's closed for business.

1:10:331:10:37

SHE GIGGLES

1:10:391:10:40

Amira!

1:10:491:10:51

-What are you doing here?

-I needed to see you.

1:10:561:10:58

Come away from there.

1:10:581:10:59

Why?

1:10:591:11:01

You're hurting me! Ow!

1:11:011:11:04

Why're we hiding?

1:11:061:11:08

Zainab's fragile at the moment.

1:11:081:11:10

-This news may tip her over the edge.

-Fragile?

1:11:101:11:13

It's complicated, Amira.

1:11:131:11:14

-She attempted suicide a few weeks ago.

-Zainab?!

1:11:161:11:19

-Why ARE you here?

-I'm not a child, you can't just push me about.

1:11:191:11:23

Anyway, you lied. Syed is here.

1:11:241:11:27

You've seen him?

1:11:281:11:29

You stupid girl.

1:11:291:11:30

How dare you? What would my dad say if he heard you talking to me like that?

1:11:301:11:34

He'd agree. Don't you see? This is what I was trying to warn you about.

1:11:341:11:38

Syed will do everything he can to get her off you.

1:11:381:11:41

He wouldn't.

1:11:411:11:42

They're desperate to adopt. Why else would I warn you off?

1:11:421:11:45

-What do you mean? They can't just take my baby.

-He is her father.

1:11:451:11:49

If only you'd trusted me.

1:11:491:11:51

I do.

1:11:521:11:54

Please, Doctor Khan. Please, help me.

1:11:541:11:57

Go home. I'll call tomorrow.

1:11:571:12:00

We'll get a solicitor.

1:12:001:12:01

Everything will be fine.

1:12:011:12:03

-You promise?

-Of course.

1:12:041:12:07

It didn't work.

1:12:181:12:19

What, she resisted the Moon charm? Never(!)

1:12:191:12:23

You sure?

1:12:231:12:24

Yes. Ian, I know when a man is coming on to me, trust me.

1:12:241:12:28

I mean, you're not the most subtle of the species.

1:12:281:12:31

All right, guys, you got enough drinks and everything? Lovely!

1:12:311:12:35

-What's going on?

-What you talking about?

-I've told him.

1:12:361:12:39

No, it's not like that, all right?

1:12:401:12:43

I was just being friendly, that's all.

1:12:431:12:46

Oh, give it up, Alfie, we've been rumbled!

1:12:461:12:48

"We've"? Were you in on it, too?

1:12:481:12:50

In on...what?

1:12:501:12:52

Is this...

1:12:561:12:57

This what I think it is?

1:12:571:13:00

OK, just hear me out, all right?

1:13:001:13:01

I want to apologise. I overstepped the mark,

1:13:011:13:04

but, listen, come on, we're all friends here, ain't we?

1:13:041:13:07

-We're close friends, aren't we?

-Course we are, yeah, exactly.

1:13:071:13:11

Do you know what, I never knew you were so open about it.

1:13:111:13:15

I mean, we're all consenting adults, aren't we?

1:13:151:13:18

There's no need to feel awkward about any of this, Alfie.

1:13:181:13:21

This is how it works, isn't it?

1:13:211:13:23

SHE LAUGHS

1:13:281:13:30

Come on Kat, where's yours?

1:13:301:13:32

She's done a runner.

1:13:371:13:39

-Didn't I say?

-We'll catch up with her. She can't have gone far.

1:13:391:13:42

No. I've got to do this on my own.

1:13:421:13:44

Besides, I want a boyfriend who can actually see, come tomorrow.

1:13:441:13:47

Come on you, drink. Drink.

1:13:511:13:54

Is that the interval?

1:13:541:13:55

Save my seat.

1:13:551:13:57

Keys in a bowl? Ian, this ain't the '70s!

1:13:591:14:02

All right, fine.

1:14:021:14:04

But what I don't get is why you were trying it on with Mandy?

1:14:041:14:07

And why YOU were just going along with it?

1:14:071:14:10

Well, it's to set me up, innit? You know, prove I'll go with anyone.

1:14:101:14:13

-Smart girl, this one.

-Listen, I was worried about you. No offence, Mandy.

1:14:131:14:17

No, look, there's none taken, all right?

1:14:171:14:19

-Why?

-Because you've been acting out of character lately.

1:14:191:14:22

Yeah, I know! It's great, innit?

1:14:221:14:24

But - no offence again, Mandy -

1:14:241:14:26

just that, you know, you've got a bit of a...reputation.

1:14:261:14:30

Says the man married to Kat Slater!

1:14:301:14:33

-Whoa, that's a bit below the belt!

-Kat don't mind.

-Why should I?

1:14:331:14:36

-He's got a point.

-See?

-You all right?

1:14:361:14:38

Why wouldn't I be?

1:14:381:14:40

Right, who wants some music?

1:14:401:14:43

Yes.

1:14:431:14:44

-Oh, go on, then.

-Yes!

1:14:441:14:46

I don't even know what I'm packing. This is madness.

1:14:501:14:53

I mean, what if Masood has taken Kamil out?

1:14:531:14:56

-I can't leave without him.

-He knows you're coming to collect him.

1:14:561:14:59

Right.

1:14:591:15:01

OK, I can't... I can't do this. It's too sudden. I mean, why tonight?

1:15:011:15:04

You have no choice. We'll be fine. Once we're on the plane, we can relax.

1:15:041:15:08

KNOCK AT DOOR

1:15:081:15:10

-Don't answer it.

-What? Why?

-Don't.

1:15:101:15:13

PHONE RINGS

1:15:131:15:17

Yes?

1:15:191:15:20

You're what?

1:15:221:15:23

Hi. I thought I'd bring him back as we were passing.

1:15:251:15:29

-Thank you.

-Are you OK?

-Of course. Why?

1:15:291:15:31

-What have you heard?

-Nothing. But you didn't answer the door.

1:15:311:15:34

Are you sure? I can see you're upset.

1:15:361:15:38

-Masood...

-Everything OK?

1:15:401:15:42

Ah, I see.

1:15:451:15:47

There I was...

1:15:481:15:49

getting all worried about you and thinking you might do something stupid again,

1:15:491:15:54

when all the time you're merrily shacking up with him.

1:15:541:15:57

What's happening to you, Z?

1:15:571:15:59

I don't care what you think any more.

1:15:591:16:01

I don't care what anyone thinks any more.

1:16:011:16:04

Fine.

1:16:081:16:10

Good luck to you.

1:16:101:16:11

DOOR SLAMS

1:16:141:16:16

The sooner we leave, the better.

1:16:181:16:20

-I'll... I'll go and pack my things.

-Can you get me some pills, Yusef?

1:16:201:16:24

I thought you were trying to come off them?

1:16:241:16:26

-I am. I need them for the plane.

-We don't have time.

-Yusef, please.

1:16:261:16:31

Won't be long.

1:16:451:16:46

DOOR SLAMS

1:16:481:16:50

Amira?

1:16:531:16:54

I thought I was seeing things, but it is you.

1:16:541:16:58

-Uncle-ji.

-You're a sight for sore eyes!

1:16:581:17:01

Ah...

1:17:011:17:02

What is it?

1:17:041:17:06

So he leans over the bar, cocky as you like and he says,

1:17:081:17:11

"You're a beauty and I'm the beast."

1:17:111:17:14

And I say, "Sweetheart, if you're a beast, I won't be having nightmares tonight."

1:17:141:17:18

THEY LAUGH

1:17:181:17:21

Listen, listen... I've got one...

1:17:211:17:23

Oh, hang on, here we go.

1:17:231:17:25

You all right? Where'd you disappear to then?

1:17:291:17:32

Mate, that party was a washout.

1:17:321:17:34

I had to fight to get away from them two old biddies.

1:17:341:17:37

What you watching?

1:17:401:17:42

On the way home, Ty, I bumped into Megan Fox.

1:17:421:17:46

She tried it on with me, didn't she, but I turned her down.

1:17:461:17:48

I said, "I know you're a super-hot Hollywood actress,

1:17:481:17:51

"but that type of thing don't impress an Hammers fan."

1:17:511:17:55

Yeah?

1:17:551:17:56

Yeah.

1:17:561:17:57

MOBILE BEEPS

1:17:591:18:01

Ha! Yeah! Yes!

1:18:031:18:06

Calm down, calm down. Did she say yes, then?

1:18:081:18:11

-Yeah!

-Show me, show me.

1:18:111:18:13

What are you looking at?

1:18:191:18:20

What you doing in here?

1:18:271:18:29

Oh, just getting bored of listening to Ian's old jokes.

1:18:291:18:32

Why, what's wrong?

1:18:321:18:33

No, nothing, sweetheart. Nothing.

1:18:331:18:36

Well, I like him, the new Ian.

1:18:361:18:39

I ain't laughed so much in ages.

1:18:391:18:41

Come off it, you're not falling for that old...

1:18:411:18:45

easy-going bloke stuff, are you?

1:18:451:18:48

He's not exactly getting down on one knee.

1:18:481:18:50

They're doing their thing. I respect 'em.

1:18:501:18:53

-Respect them?

-Yeah, cos it's honest.

1:18:531:18:56

It's you that's got the problem.

1:18:561:18:58

What you on about, Kat?

1:18:581:19:00

You won't let him change.

1:19:001:19:02

No matter what he does, or what he says, he's the same old Ian.

1:19:021:19:05

Right, that's it. We is off home for an early night.

1:19:051:19:09

Oi, oi! Have a good night, guys.

1:19:091:19:11

-See ya.

-See ya. Thanks.

1:19:111:19:13

I'll go downstairs, see if Tracey's all right.

1:19:181:19:22

-Sorry, I can't find my phone.

-You won't need it in Pakistan.

1:19:261:19:29

I have to speak with Tamwar, I have to tell him what's happening.

1:19:291:19:33

We'll be late. Use the one in the car.

1:19:331:19:35

-I'll just check upstairs.

-Stop stalling.

1:19:351:19:37

Just one minute, please!

1:19:371:19:39

-Perfect.

-Ironic, considering how she came into the world.

1:19:391:19:43

I've got to go.

1:19:431:19:45

-It was lovely to see you.

-You too.

1:19:451:19:47

-You will stay in touch?

-I don't know.

1:19:471:19:49

Wait!

1:19:491:19:51

You can't leave..

1:20:011:20:03

..until you promise me I can see my baby.

1:20:041:20:07

It's not YOUR baby, Syed, it's OUR baby.

1:20:081:20:11

Can I see her again?

1:20:141:20:15

The photo?

1:20:171:20:19

She's beautiful.

1:20:281:20:30

We all know what a piece of work she is.

1:20:381:20:40

She's probably out there with Syed, making plans.

1:20:401:20:42

Where does that leave you? Hm?

1:20:421:20:45

Out in the cold, that's where it leaves you.

1:20:451:20:47

-You're right.

-I know.

1:20:481:20:50

I should be a part of this.

1:20:511:20:53

Well, come on.

1:20:541:20:56

Silly girl, falling in love with a gay man.

1:20:591:21:04

He did marry her.

1:21:041:21:05

I'm not talking about the Asian girl.

1:21:051:21:07

Dad, where are you?

1:21:091:21:10

-Just listen, Afia. Do you have Tamwar with you?

-'Yeah.'

1:21:101:21:14

Good, cos I have some news.

1:21:141:21:15

Zainab and I are going on a last-minute holiday to Pakistan with Kamil.

1:21:151:21:19

'What? Is Zainab OK?'

1:21:191:21:20

Don't worry, she's fine. We'll call when we arrive.

1:21:201:21:23

I can't speak now, we're driving.

1:21:231:21:26

Did you get through?

1:21:281:21:31

ENGINE STARTS

1:21:311:21:33

They've gone. They've taken Kamil.

1:21:351:21:37

"Gone"? What do you mean "gone"? Gone where?

1:21:391:21:41

Pakistan.

1:21:411:21:43

OK...

1:21:451:21:47

I swore I wouldn't do this, but...OK.

1:21:471:21:50

Baba.

1:21:561:21:57

You are her dad, you should be able to see her.

1:21:591:22:01

-Thank you.

-Syed.

1:22:011:22:03

-But there's one condition.

-Anything.

1:22:031:22:06

I don't want HIM anywhere near my baby.

1:22:091:22:11

ENGINE STARTS

1:22:221:22:24

And...send.

1:22:291:22:31

Alfie, do you put kisses on your texts?

1:22:331:22:37

-He don't even send 'em to me!

-You're well OTT with yours. Why do you ask?

1:22:371:22:42

No reason.

1:22:421:22:43

In real life, Jean, people don't just send kisses for no reason, all right?

1:22:431:22:47

Why not? What's wrong with a bit of affection?

1:22:471:22:49

Cos it doesn't mean anything if you do it to everybody, that's why!

1:22:491:22:53

Listen, can you finish this for me? I'm running a bit late, I need a shower. Thanks, sweetheart.

1:22:531:23:00

-Why don't you two go out?

-Another night off?

1:23:001:23:03

You can save that worried look for someone who needs it.

1:23:051:23:09

Morning, Granddad.

1:23:221:23:24

SHE PURRS

1:23:251:23:27

RADIO PLAYS

1:23:351:23:38

RADIO STOPS

1:23:451:23:46

It's going to take a while to get your head round it.

1:23:501:23:53

Tam.

1:24:011:24:03

-Is your mum about?

-Mum? Er... No.

1:24:031:24:06

Is she still at the Minute Mart?

1:24:061:24:09

Er... No.

1:24:091:24:11

She's in... She's in Pakistan, I think.

1:24:131:24:17

-What?!

-She's in Pakistan.

-Where's Kamil?!

1:24:201:24:25

He's with them.

1:24:261:24:27

-Seriously, you can't leave it there!

-What's all this?

1:24:291:24:32

Apparently Alfie did a deal with some mate. It's almost out of date.

1:24:321:24:36

We're going to have to shift this lot.

1:24:361:24:38

Go and find him, will you, Trace?

1:24:381:24:41

-You look thrilled, darling. Mark.

-Hello, Mark.

-Oh, like that?

1:24:411:24:45

OK, I could get used to that.

1:24:451:24:48

-Do you do this cheesy routine on all your customers?

-No.

1:24:481:24:52

-Only the one's who are game.

-Well, I ain't.

-That's a shame,

1:24:521:24:55

cos I bet you'd be really good at it as well,

1:24:551:24:57

-when you're in the mood, like.

-I'm the best.

1:24:571:25:01

But I'm retired.

1:25:011:25:02

The best ones usually are. Shame.

1:25:041:25:06

OK. If you have a problem, if no-one else can help, and if you can find...

1:25:061:25:12

YOU ain't funny, Alfie.

1:25:121:25:15

-She'll come round.

-Usually do.

-Yeah.

1:25:171:25:20

Here you go, buddy. I think it's all there.

1:25:201:25:22

-You know, keep it schtumm, yeah?

-Lovely.

-Take care. Cheers, mate.

1:25:221:25:26

All right, Tyler? All right, buddy?

1:25:261:25:29

Oi! LAUGHS

1:25:331:25:34

-Are you trying to impress the girl, doing the old trip routine?

-Eh?

1:25:341:25:38

Oh. No, I'm just a bit, you know...

1:25:381:25:40

I'm taking Whitney out later for a meal. You know, wine and dine her.

1:25:401:25:45

Shut up. You the man. Yes, well done.

1:25:451:25:46

I know, but I'm going to have to play it a bit differently.

1:25:461:25:51

-What's the word on the side of them boxes?

-Upright?

1:25:511:25:54

No, the other one...

1:25:541:25:56

-Fragile!

-Oh, yeah. With you.

1:25:561:25:58

That's what Whit is, so I've got to be, you know, sensitive.

1:25:581:26:01

Shut up. What you talking about? Just be yourself!

1:26:011:26:04

-Butch, macho self, all right?

-Alf, Alf, come on, man. Everyone knows that don't work.

1:26:041:26:09

You know what? You, young man, are a genius.

1:26:131:26:15

-Thanks, love.

-PHONE BEEPS

1:26:241:26:25

Oh, hang on.

1:26:251:26:28

Oh, no!

1:26:281:26:30

You're here! You haven't answered any of my texts!

1:26:301:26:34

I wasn't sure which one to reply to. There were 14 of them.

1:26:341:26:37

-Well, 15 now.

-The one about dinner.

-Oh, yeah.

1:26:371:26:41

I was wondering...if...

1:26:411:26:45

you might like...

1:26:451:26:48

a home-cooked meal sometime.

1:26:481:26:50

-Oh, that'd be lovely. What we having?

-Sausage surprise!

1:26:501:26:56

I'm known for it round here.

1:26:561:26:59

-Saturday night, perhaps?

-Perfecto.

1:26:591:27:02

You know that film Fatal Attraction?

1:27:051:27:08

The one with the bunny boiler? Yeah, why?

1:27:081:27:10

You're in it.

1:27:101:27:12

PHONE BEEPS

1:27:121:27:15

Oh, no!

1:27:151:27:16

-That'll be her.

-That's 16 now.

1:27:161:27:20

I always keep a well-stocked first aid kit,

1:27:231:27:26

cos Heather is a magnet for catastrophes.

1:27:261:27:30

Now, you better have some of these cos I shan't be here,

1:27:301:27:33

I'm going on me holidays. I'm going to Ireland with my sister, Rose.

1:27:331:27:36

Mind you, she don't seem too keen on the idea,

1:27:361:27:39

she's going around with a face like a wet weekend in Walford.

1:27:391:27:43

-You excited?

-One doesn't like to appear smug.

1:27:431:27:47

And excitement is very overrated in my book.

1:27:471:27:51

That is when Heather Trott tends to have her calamities -

1:27:511:27:53

when she's in that state.

1:27:531:27:56

-Well, I'm going on a date later.

-Oh...

-With a boy.

1:27:561:28:00

Yeah?

1:28:001:28:02

I ain't told no-one about it.

1:28:021:28:04

We've known each other for a little while, you know?

1:28:041:28:07

For ages I didn't want to know cos he's so full of himself. He's smug...

1:28:071:28:11

Well, every boy has the potential to be somebody's Prince Charming.

1:28:111:28:16

And every girl is waiting for one, no matter what she tells herself.

1:28:161:28:21

Hmm... He's no Prince Charming, believe me(!)

1:28:211:28:25

Do you get butterflies in your tummy?

1:28:261:28:28

-Eh?

-That was Ethel's test. Swore by it. Close your eyes.

1:28:281:28:34

Go on, close 'em.

1:28:341:28:38

Now, think about him.

1:28:381:28:41

I need to get back on the stall.

1:28:431:28:45

-THEY LAUGH

-Never fails.

1:28:451:28:48

How could I forget? Me, Ian! Me?! Alfie Moon, of all people!

1:28:521:28:57

Kat can't even see me.

1:28:571:28:59

She looks through me like I'm practically invisible.

1:28:591:29:02

-And you know why?

-I'm sure you'll tell me.

1:29:021:29:04

Yes, tell you what, cos I'm always there. That's why.

1:29:041:29:07

Every time she turns round I'm standing there with a cup of tea and a smile.

1:29:071:29:11

-I found myself hanging around outside the khazi for her the other day!

-No!

1:29:111:29:14

Mate, that's too much information.

1:29:141:29:17

-If you want to be useful, close those curtains.

-Yeah, no problem.

1:29:171:29:22

-Listen, also about last night...

-Yeah!

1:29:221:29:25

-Sorry for that little misunderstanding.

-With all due respect, I was trying to tell Kat

1:29:251:29:29

-how wrong I think you and Mandy are. Talking of Mandy, where is she?

-Dunno. Probably gone shopping.

1:29:291:29:35

That's what I'm talking about! She's off doing girl's stuff, spending your money!

1:29:351:29:39

-And you're here in your pants doing bloke's stuff. That's the way it should be!

-Should it?!

1:29:391:29:44

-Page one in the Bloke's Manual. Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen.

-Keep 'em keen.

-Thank you!

1:29:441:29:51

-If you're 17!

-No. no, not 17.

1:29:511:29:54

It's no age...it's any age!

1:29:541:29:56

Ian there's a time I was the Fonz and now I'm Mr C! How did that happen?

1:29:561:30:00

It's called life, mate!

1:30:001:30:03

Are you my mate?

1:30:031:30:05

No, please, don't go roping me into anything, today all right,

1:30:051:30:08

-cos once we left you last night we came back and had another...

-Are you my mate or not?

1:30:081:30:12

-Yes!

-Of course. I need to borrow some readies.

-Just dip in the till! You got a pub!

1:30:121:30:17

I can't! Kat will know I've taken money out the till.

1:30:171:30:20

-I need to keep her guessing, create a bit of mystique. Come on.

-Under the fruit bowl.

1:30:201:30:25

Really? Good man. Cheers buddy.

1:30:251:30:28

-You're worse than Mandy!

-Oh, stop whinging, you're like a big girl.

1:30:281:30:31

Also, I need to borrow some wax or some sort of hair gel.

1:30:311:30:34

Peter was always leaving it lying around.

1:30:341:30:36

-It's in the drawer.

-Yeah? Good man.

1:30:361:30:38

Oh, look at that, well done, mate. HE LAUGHS

1:30:381:30:41

Fantastic, look at that! Yes!

1:30:411:30:44

See. Women like a bit of friction, Ian.

1:30:461:30:50

They don't always want it their own way.

1:30:501:30:52

It's about nature.

1:30:521:30:55

And you cannot mess with nature.

1:30:551:30:58

And you! You'll be my wing commander.

1:30:581:31:01

-wing commander of what?

-Blokes.

1:31:011:31:03

We've got our very first mission. See, I bought a load of dodgy lager, I need to get rid of it.

1:31:031:31:08

That's why we're holding Walford's very first Beer Festival, Ian!

1:31:081:31:11

-No. Not today, Alfie!

-Yes! Yes!

1:31:111:31:15

Hello, Stranger. Hey!

1:31:151:31:17

Actually, Dad, I was on my way out.

1:31:191:31:21

-Did you not hear what I said? Your mum's gone to Pakistan.

-Water?

1:31:211:31:24

-No.

-It's not gay water. HE SIGHS

1:31:241:31:27

Look, we both know Mum needed a break

1:31:271:31:29

and as hard as it is for you to accept,

1:31:291:31:31

-you and Mum are divorced. She can go wherever she wants.

-What, with Kamil?!

1:31:311:31:35

Without telling me?!

1:31:351:31:36

-Without even a goodbye! Doesn't that sound strange to you?!

-Yusef will take care of them.

1:31:361:31:41

That's what I'm worried about! Who knows what he's got planned.

1:31:411:31:45

Shabnam's in Lahore. Maybe they're planning on visiting her.

1:31:451:31:48

I've left her messages this morning.

1:31:481:31:51

-Look, if she or your mum calls, it's imperative that you tell me straightaway. Syed?!

-Yes!

1:31:511:31:57

Maybe I should just go straight to the police.

1:31:571:32:00

-They've kidnapped my son!

-It's a holiday! Yeah. I'm chasing a cab.

1:32:001:32:04

Yeah, Albert Square, Walford. Oh, it's outside? Great.

1:32:041:32:09

-Ta.

-Cheers.

-Cheers. Look, I got manners, all right.

1:32:131:32:16

I can do chiver...chival...chiv...

1:32:161:32:20

You can't even say it, mate, can you!

1:32:201:32:22

There's no way you can go a whole night

1:32:221:32:24

with no corny lines, no fast moves. And no innuendos.

1:32:241:32:27

That, mate, is Mission Impossible! You know it is.

1:32:271:32:30

C'mon, we got loads to shift.

1:32:301:32:33

See you later, Alfie!

1:32:331:32:35

Celebration of beer? Don't we do that every night?

1:32:361:32:40

-It's a good point.

-No, it's about re-connecting with things behind the drinking!

1:32:401:32:45

-Yeah, like alcoholism?

-No, no, camaraderie,

1:32:451:32:47

-comradeship. Fraternity, innit?

-It's more like a Man Festival.

1:32:471:32:51

Eh, me and Ian both believe that manliness is underrated!

1:32:511:32:54

It's great being a bloke, innit, eh?

1:32:541:32:56

Don't know 'bout that, Alfie. For me it's about TV dinners and nose hair.

1:32:561:33:00

-It's growing out the front of my nose now. The front!

-I think I'll leave it at that.

1:33:001:33:04

This is woeful.

1:33:041:33:06

It's the ultimate, being a bloke! Help me out here, Paddy.

1:33:061:33:09

-You're absolutely right, brother Alf. Absolutely right.

-Thank you.

1:33:091:33:13

-Has he done something to his hair?

-Beers all round? Lovely.

1:33:151:33:18

-PATRICK:

-Rum for me!

1:33:181:33:20

-IAN:

-It's a beer festival!

1:33:201:33:21

Oh, Rose, I wonder where we'll be eating this time tomorrow?

1:33:211:33:26

-Won't be al fresco, that's for sure. Weather report's terrible.

-Rose, what's the matter with you?

1:33:261:33:32

Your face ain't cracked a smile since I invited you.

1:33:321:33:35

-Talk about being ungrateful!

-So ladies, are you all packed?

1:33:351:33:38

-Yes.

-You got your Euros? Passport?

-I haven't got a passport.

1:33:381:33:44

That's all right. All you need is ID. Driver's licence will do.

1:33:441:33:48

Arthur, I hear you've made plans for later on...a tryst.

1:33:481:33:53

-What? No rendezvous?

-No, not me.

-Must have got my wires crossed.

1:33:551:34:01

There is someone I wouldn't mind getting a bit close to, you know,

1:34:021:34:05

now that me and Faith are done.

1:34:051:34:08

But, you know what, I think I'm hexed, you know.

1:34:081:34:10

Every girl I like, every girl I'm feeling, like the proper buff ones,

1:34:101:34:14

they don't like me! Well 'part from Cougar Kim.

1:34:141:34:17

What's with that? Is my face butters or something?

1:34:171:34:19

-I mean am I second-rate, or what?

-Arthur, you have got a lovely face.

1:34:191:34:24

How long will I have to wait? Do you get what I'm saying?

1:34:241:34:27

-What am I?!

-Arthur...Chill!

1:34:271:34:29

Your face ain't butters! I'm very fond of it!

1:34:291:34:32

Anyone says otherwise, then they are a skank, you feel me?!

1:34:321:34:36

That's a hussy, only worse.

1:34:361:34:38

Just thought... I haven't got a driving licence.

1:34:381:34:41

-Muhammad Ali!

-What about Elvis? He had it but he lost it.

1:34:451:34:50

-What they on about?

-The perfect bloke.

1:34:501:34:52

That's easy. Filthy rich and mute. Hah!

1:34:521:34:55

What's brought this on? You been watching Gok Wan again, ain't ya?!

1:34:551:34:59

See my perfect bloke would be kind.

1:34:591:35:01

Good hearted. Not too young either...

1:35:011:35:05

Distinguished. And into skiffle.

1:35:051:35:09

I think Alfie's acting like a right tool!

1:35:091:35:11

What?! He's on perfect form today. Everyone's been saying!

1:35:111:35:15

-Got to be someone historic! Like Gandhi.

-He only made one film, didn't he?!

1:35:151:35:18

Oi, I was only joking. I love your hair like that.

1:35:201:35:23

-Bobby Moore! Come on.

-I was thinking, later on you and me could stay in...

1:35:231:35:27

I tell you what, go out with the girls, have a laugh, yeah?

1:35:271:35:31

-Go on. Take that. Bobby Moore, eh? How many caps, Bobby Moore?

-108.

1:35:311:35:35

See, Bealy knows his football cos he's a bloke. THEY LAUGH

1:35:351:35:39

SHE SIGHS

1:35:431:35:46

# You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals

1:36:111:36:14

# So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel. #

1:36:141:36:18

-You ain't funny, Anthony!

-# You and me baby ain't... #

1:36:181:36:22

He'll be here in two minutes.

1:36:221:36:24

FRONT DOOR OPENS

1:36:241:36:27

Thank heavens for that.

1:36:291:36:30

I packed your case on account of the haste, I was forced to go through your drawers...

1:36:301:36:35

-Mrs B, I ain't coming.

-But I am.

1:36:351:36:38

Great country, Ireland. Can't move without falling over a distillery.

1:36:381:36:44

Single Malt. Blended. Mixed Grain.

1:36:441:36:48

Don't know how I'll get through 'em all.

1:36:481:36:50

A lovely holiday I'm going to have.

1:36:501:36:52

One long pub crawl and no smoking.

1:36:521:36:54

I can feel one of my heads coming on, you ain't got no Paracetamol in that bag, have you?

1:36:541:36:58

-You know I'm homeo-pathetic.

-I know you're pathetic.

1:36:581:37:01

-I'll get you some.

-Well, hurry up then.

1:37:011:37:05

Right, ladies, let's get you sorted. Let me take that for you. OK.

1:37:051:37:08

All right, come on then, Cora.

1:37:081:37:10

Oh, Tyler, sorry mate, Whit can't make it.

1:37:221:37:26

No, no, no. He told me to wind you up!

1:37:261:37:30

Bad boy. He's nervous, look at him!

1:37:301:37:33

-Drink?

-Hello!

1:37:331:37:35

You still on for Saturday night?

1:37:351:37:37

I'm not doing Sausage Surprise now. I was thinking rabbit stew.

1:37:371:37:42

Actually, I'm afraid I can't dine with you, Jean.

1:37:421:37:47

Very kind of you, but I'm sure if we did dine together, you see,

1:37:471:37:53

I'd want to make a habit of it. You do understand, don't you?

1:37:531:37:57

Erm...I think I do, yeah.

1:37:571:37:59

Jean, you're coming clubbin' with me, all right?

1:38:011:38:04

Go upstairs! Wash your hair and I'll come up and put your slap on, yeah?

1:38:041:38:08

Every woman should feel beautiful.

1:38:081:38:11

-ALFIE AND ANTHONY:

-Woah! Oi, oi!

1:38:181:38:22

-You want a drink?

-Yeah.

1:38:231:38:26

Can I get a drink please, Alf?

1:38:261:38:29

I don't know about you, but I am starving.

1:38:321:38:34

-Look, Sy.

-Is there any lasagne?

1:38:341:38:36

-I didn't have a chance to go to the Minute Mart.

-SY! Right, no games. No small talk.

1:38:361:38:41

Whatever it is you're feeling about you and your daughter...

1:38:411:38:45

Then I want to know, OK?

1:38:451:38:48

-I'm strong enough to hear that.

-Are you on something?

1:38:481:38:51

-Cos seriously I don't understand what you're saying.

-Sy, you're a father.

1:38:511:38:55

-That changes everything.

-I know.

-EVERYTHING.

-I know!

1:38:551:38:59

Which is why I went to see Ish.

1:38:591:39:01

Ishfaq from university. We used to share a house. He now practices law.

1:39:011:39:06

You were with Ish?

1:39:091:39:10

All afternoon and guess what?

1:39:101:39:14

He reckons we stand a fighting chance of gaining access to Yasmin.

1:39:141:39:19

Both of us.

1:39:191:39:20

I told him I'm doing this with you, or not at all.

1:39:201:39:23

At the moment we've got to play the long game.

1:39:231:39:26

Sy, how can we afford this?

1:39:261:39:28

Well, the good news is we're getting a good rate.

1:39:281:39:31

Cos I introduced Ish to his wife.

1:39:311:39:34

He really reckons we're in with a chance?

1:39:371:39:39

But in order to avoid court, we can't aggravate Amira.

1:39:391:39:44

We need to find a mediator,

1:39:461:39:49

someone we know who she respects, who can convince her

1:39:491:39:53

-that we both need to be part of Yasmin's life.

-There isn't anyone.

-There is.

1:39:531:39:56

Unfortunately, I'm not his favourite person right now.

1:39:561:39:59

And neither are you.

1:40:021:40:04

I'm going to give Mandy a quick call.

1:40:071:40:09

Excuse me, golden rule, wing commander?

1:40:091:40:12

-Oi, give us my phone back!

-I can't trust you!

1:40:121:40:14

You are sleeping with the enemy. You have been demoted to Sergeant Beale!

1:40:141:40:19

-Alfie!

-Yeah.

-Do me up.

1:40:191:40:22

-Do you like the dress?

-It's nice enough.

1:40:221:40:24

I don't have to go out, you know?

1:40:241:40:26

No, you go, darling. Have a good time.

1:40:261:40:28

-See you later then.

-Not if I see you first!

1:40:281:40:31

-Kat, ready?

-Yeah! Watch out Walford. Here we come!

1:40:311:40:37

See what I did there? All part of the master plan.

1:40:371:40:40

Alfie, you are playing a very dangerous game.

1:40:401:40:43

Sometimes you gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette!

1:40:431:40:46

Don't say I didn't warn you! Now get yourself another wing man.

1:40:461:40:49

-I intend to keep this girl.

-Oi! You deserter!

1:40:491:40:52

-It's on Alfie!

-Be rude not to.

1:40:571:41:00

-It's early, isn't it?

-Oh, don't be boring, Jean!

1:41:001:41:03

-She got blown out earlier.

-Oh, no.

1:41:031:41:06

Don't tell Kat, but I invited Norman for dinner at the Vic,

1:41:081:41:13

and he said if he did, he'd only want to make a habit of it...

1:41:131:41:16

But, hold on a minute, back up.

1:41:161:41:18

That's the opposite of being blown out, innit?

1:41:181:41:21

That's like, being blown in or blown out, or!

1:41:211:41:24

That's what I think. He said no for the time being,

1:41:241:41:27

-which, I think, is his little way of saying...

-He's playing for keeps.

1:41:271:41:32

He wants to move in with me!

1:41:321:41:34

THE LAUGH AND CHEER

1:41:341:41:36

MUSIC DROWNS THEM OUT

1:41:361:41:39

I like your outfit. It's...classy.

1:41:521:41:57

What material is it?

1:41:571:42:00

Um...

1:42:021:42:04

Dunno.

1:42:041:42:06

But I bet it's a...good one though.

1:42:061:42:08

I might go for a jalfrezi.

1:42:121:42:13

-No, don't, they're really hot.

-What, like you?

1:42:131:42:16

Guys, can I get you drinks?

1:42:191:42:21

-Go on, ladies first.

-No, go on.

-No, go on, ladies first!

1:42:211:42:26

Um, just...

1:42:271:42:29

-Thought you might be here.

-You heard from your mum?

1:42:311:42:35

-I need your help.

-Should be interesting.

1:42:351:42:38

You know, it only seems five minutes ago

1:42:421:42:45

we couldn't even hold hands in public!

1:42:451:42:47

I remember when I was a twink, I used to have this fantasy that some

1:42:501:42:55

strong man would come along and tell all the bullies where to get off.

1:42:551:42:59

-Never thought it would be Sy though!

-Me neither.

1:42:591:43:02

THEY LAUGH

1:43:021:43:04

-Well, I will drink to that.

-Cheers.

1:43:041:43:09

To Jean and Norman.

1:43:091:43:10

Oh! Just good friends!

1:43:101:43:13

I'm gonna get a drink!

1:43:131:43:16

Oi! What's your problem?

1:43:231:43:26

I have to get out of here. Now.

1:43:281:43:31

Otherwise I'd have to kiss you.

1:43:311:43:33

Come out of retirement?

1:43:351:43:36

SHE LAUGHS

1:43:361:43:39

I had to fight to be in this relationship.

1:43:431:43:46

-Amira has to know that I'm not going to just give up on it.

-No! No searches...

1:43:461:43:50

-No return flights. No nothing.

-I'm sure Mum will be back...

1:43:501:43:54

What if she isn't? We were all worried about her state of mind

1:43:541:43:57

and now she's gone off with that man.

1:43:571:43:59

She's taken my son and I can't do anything about it...

1:43:591:44:02

Yusef could poison Kamil against me, at his own leisure!

1:44:021:44:06

-So how can you let Amira do exactly the same thing to me?

-How dare you compare us!

1:44:061:44:11

She's doing everything to come between me and my child, it's the same thing, Dad!

1:44:111:44:15

It is far from the same thing, Syed!

1:44:151:44:18

You want me to go and ask her what?

1:44:191:44:22

To make your twisted arguments to the woman that you cheated!

1:44:221:44:26

Cheated! Betrayed and humiliated!

1:44:261:44:29

And you don't even have the decency to talk to her face to face.

1:44:291:44:32

You want me to go and ask her what?

1:44:321:44:34

Tell her to think of Yasmin.

1:44:341:44:37

I'm doing this WITH Christian or not at all.

1:44:371:44:41

Yasmin is your flesh and blood.

1:44:411:44:43

You cannot turn your feelings off like a tap just because

1:44:431:44:46

-it doesn't suit your lifestyle!

-You did!

1:44:461:44:49

Syed, as hard as this may be for you to understand,

1:44:511:44:53

everything I have done, EVERYTHING, has been for...

1:44:531:44:57

What? For what, Dad?!

1:44:571:44:59

-Fatherhood is a sacred duty!

-So not seeing me? Not talking to me.

1:44:591:45:02

-That's your sacred duty, is it? HATING ME!

-I hate your choices.

1:45:021:45:06

Oh, you LIAR!

1:45:061:45:07

I could never hate you...

1:45:111:45:12

So prove it.

1:45:131:45:15

Talk to Amira.

1:45:181:45:20

For me.

1:45:221:45:24

And Christian.

1:45:251:45:27

OK. OK, I will.

1:45:371:45:40

Thank you.

1:45:431:45:44

You know she'd never take Kamil away from you.

1:45:541:45:57

Not for good.

1:46:001:46:02

So...what do you think about the Government?

1:46:111:46:15

The Government? Erm... Dunno.

1:46:161:46:20

Thanks, Tamwar, that was lovely. Thank you.

1:46:211:46:24

So! Which one?

1:46:291:46:33

-Both.

-Oh! Wow.

1:46:331:46:36

Go on, you go. I'll pay for everything.

1:46:361:46:40

I won't bother you again, I swear.

1:46:401:46:42

Why? We've all got a past.

1:46:421:46:45

Anyway, listen, I spoke to Tiff and Morgan about seeing you tonight.

1:46:471:46:51

Did you?! What did they reckon?

1:46:511:46:53

-No kissing. Cos that's disgusting.

-Obviously.

1:46:531:46:55

But if I really, really like you I can hold your hand.

1:46:551:46:58

-Steady on!

-THEY LAUGH

1:46:581:46:59

I need to go! Lots to think about.

1:47:051:47:08

'Ere who's he looking at?

1:47:141:47:17

He must have a thing for you.

1:47:171:47:20

He's all right, but this one's better.

1:47:211:47:24

Moving in... KAT LAUGHS

1:47:251:47:28

Hey, your eyes sparkle when you're nervous, you know that?

1:47:281:47:31

They actually glitter.

1:47:311:47:33

-I ain't nervous.

-Yeah, you are.

1:47:331:47:36

I love my husband.

1:47:361:47:39

You know, when we was outside your pub he never looked at you once.

1:47:391:47:43

Not once.

1:47:431:47:44

How beautiful do you feel when I look at you, eh?

1:47:451:47:48

Hey, you should've seen Tyler's face when Whitney walked through the door.

1:47:531:47:57

True love. As James Brown said, "this is a man's world,

1:47:571:48:02

"but nuttin' nuttin' without a woman and a girl."

1:48:021:48:07

There you go, Paddy, well done, mate! You the man!

1:48:071:48:10

Kat. Listen, sweetheart.

1:48:131:48:15

I just want to say I'm really sorry about earlier on, you know?

1:48:151:48:19

I was just a bit...you looked absolutely stunning in your dress...

1:48:191:48:24

And, well...you have a good time

1:48:241:48:27

and I'll see you later. Love you. Bye.

1:48:271:48:29

I'm telling you. My girl is fit. She is really fit.

1:48:331:48:36

Back down, Bealy cos my girl's fit as well.

1:48:361:48:39

I fact I remember even stopping the wedding!

1:48:391:48:42

Yeah, so do I. We both got a good kicking.

1:48:421:48:44

But there is absolutely nothing me and Kat can't withstand.

1:48:441:48:47

In fact we are, what's the word, it's coming to me.

1:48:471:48:50

Oh, yeah. Me and Kat, we are insurmountable.

1:48:501:48:53

THEY LAUGH We are! Oh, thanks, lads. I'm barring you two.

1:48:531:48:58

You know what? I'd got you completely wrong, Mr Tyler Moon.

1:49:231:49:27

You've been a complete gentleman tonight.

1:49:291:49:31

So now, you can have your reward.

1:49:331:49:38

I don't want one.

1:49:381:49:40

No. Wait. Please. That come out wrong.

1:49:401:49:44

I didn't mean it like that, all right?

1:49:441:49:47

There ain't nothing I want more. Believe me, there ain't,

1:49:471:49:50

all right. I'm just saying there's no rush, all right.

1:49:501:49:55

Hey. Wotcha.

1:50:271:50:30

What have I done to deserve you, eh?

1:50:321:50:35

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

1:50:581:51:02

Email [email protected]

1:51:021:51:06

Yusef's meddling pushes Zainab to breaking point, resulting in a shocking confrontation. Christian and Syed find their lives turned upside down by the arrival of an unexpected visitor with a life-changing revelation. A smitten Tyler pulls out all the stops to impress Whitney on their first official date, while Rose harbours a secret from Dot. Kat and Alfie's attempt to expose Mandy's true colours to Ian doesn't go according to plan.


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